This motherfricker wants to put you in Hufflepuff. What do you do?
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This motherfricker wants to put you in Hufflepuff. What do you do?
This motherfricker wants to put you in Hufflepuff. What do you do?
CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
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CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
fart in the hat
most corporate forced shilled thing ever. ever.
I am a hufflepuff 🙂
Say I want to be in Slytherin because I want to be successful not a fricking b***h employed by the magic government.
>have to join the magic edgelords led by a deformed moron
Thanks I’ll pass, get me to ravenclaw
Use it as a cumsock as i jerk off to Hermione's panties over my face
There were at least 10 prettier girls in harry pottah universe and you chose one fo the most insufferable b***h with ego rivaling the dark lord himself
You have issues
I don't do anything. I listen to what he has to say, which is what nobody else did.
This. Clearly you would need to reevaluate your life and the hat gave you some interesting points to consider
homie literally anything anybody ever did to him was listen to what he said, it was his entire purpose was to say things that people listened to (and obeyed without question)
Harry didnt
harry was a idiot
>newbies don't recognize the Manson Columbine meme anymore
It's over
Uhhh yeah whatever man.
refuse, say i identify as someone from Slytherin, if anyone defies this i'd call him a housephobe
>if anyone defies this i'd call him a housephobe
Rowling would spawn in-story to tell you're not a woman or whatever house, and put you back in your place.
I was like 13 when this movie came out. Everyone loved harry potter back then, I wanted to watch them and read the books so bad but I couldn't. One day in class, everyone was talking about the first movie which just came out, I shouted in class that it was "fricking gay" and everyone looked at me upset. The teacher kicked me out for shouting fricking. I became known as the kid who hated harry potter. I didn't hate it or know much about it, but I had to keep up that image and pretend I hated it so bad the rest of my life in school, friends would watch the movie and I would say I'm not watching it, that is gay. I'm in m 30s now and I have never seen these movies because of that one incident.
>but I couldn't
libraries exist
Haha just like Malfoy
If this was today you would’ve gotten an SNL hosting gig and a stand up career based solely on that joke
hi Shane
I just remember harry potter going overnight from the cringe thing you were mocked for to everyone loved it and watched the movie in class.
I never read them either, friends streamed it and I watched a few of the movies and I can see why people like them. They're quaintly straightforward adventure, like a kiddie version of lord of the rings.
They're like a fraternity but an official one you have to join.
No, not even the slightest thing close to it. At best your grade as an organizational group since invariably most of your classes and hanging out will be with people in your grade. For us it is more splitting into cliques.
That's so Slytherin
The hat would call you gay without touching you
autism
i too wasted my youth by being the kid i thought everyone else thought i was.
You were assigned to the wrong board, Cinemaphile would be the correct one for a turbo contrarian like you.
Literally just tell him not Hufflepuff. We already know that works.
Get in and bully those beta losers and frick all b***hes.
Accept it, there is nothing wrong with Hufflepuff.
>picking the moron house
Grynffindor and Slytherin are the only real choices.
>Virtue signalling attention prostitutes or the containment house for edgy dorks
No thanks.
i'd say 5 get
>Please give me Slytherin but Ravenclaw is fine too. I don't want to get cucked by Cedric or Harry in the other houses.
Hufflepuff has the girls with the biggest breasts.
Nothing because Hufflepuff is literally the based house.
>Slytherin is /misc/ and full of trust fund babbies
>Ravenclaw is for special snowflakes and autists
>Gryffindor is for bullies, attention prostitutes and people who post on /soc/
Hufflepuff is about making bros who actually look out for you, smoking dank herbs with Professor Sprout and fricking dumb b***hes.
Hufflepuff girls are guaranteed easy lays.
Ravenclaw is canonically full of bullies, just as Looney Luna
All right, let's go further on this.
>Biggest breasts: Hufflepuff
Anon is right, this makes perfect sense. The average Hufflepuff girl is a less-than-clever cow who will primarily marry a middle-class wizard and pop out babies. They're going to have quite large milkers, and perhaps be thick/curvy/plump in general.
>Best Asses: Gryffindor
The Gryffindors are renowned for their bravery and as such their women are going to be Cinemaphile and they're going to have nice big butts loaded with well-worked gluteal muscles. They are also adventurous which means they will let you do anal.
>Kinkiest: Ravenclaw
Again, a no brainer. Ravenclaws are renowned for their cleverness and their intelligence, and everyone knows that the smarter you are the more likely you are to be a degenerate with numerous fetishes. You can probably do all sorts of shit with a Ravenclaw girl, there's probably no limit to the kind of wild shit she'd be into.
>Biggest bawds: Slytherin
Makes perfect sense. Slytherin girls are all purebloods who come from high-caste Wizarding families and anyone who knows modern women knows that it's the rich ones who love to take dick the hardest as a twisted revenge on daddy. Slytherins are easy, you can frick them in any old broom closet. They also love to racemix and frick mudbloods, the wizarding world's version of the BLACKED fetish.
End your life urgently.
I don't care about kink, ass or bawdtiness. I want a loyal woman who'll let me drink her milk.
Imcel chud detected. And breastfeeding is a weird kink you dumbass. Normal people dont do that
>Normal people dont do that
I don't want a normal wife, I wand a me wife.
Doesn't matter which house you're in, all women want Chads from GRYFFINDOR only.
>b-but I'm in Gryffindor!
I said Chads only.
>choose house that makes you the best wizard
>can frick whatever hot muggle you want afterwards
Which house has the biggest dicks
definitely not slytherin sissies
>be in nice quiet house that had no real presence in the books
>cuck all the nerds and frick the airheaded girls
>breeze through school and work for Ministry of Magic studying witch pussy
See ya losers
Sounds like some Baskin Roberts bullshit
I guess he's going from a hat to a toilet then.
hufflepuff is maximum comfy. they enjoy gardening and beer and not spazzing out or doing evil things or dumb pranks for attention.
let him
Hufflepuff has the baddest b***hes
Sure but they aren't interested in loser guys that get relegated to Hufflepuff.
I rape the closest girl so it has to put me in slytherin instead
Just start thinking racist shit
What's the point of having different houses?
to instill a dog eat dog mindset
Are there even any dogs at Hogwarts? All you ever hear about is cats and birds.
there's that cerberus and hagrid's dog
Do American highschools not have houses or some equivalent?
I don't know, I was homeschooled.
We have gang affiliations in some schools.
>england is such a tiny overcrowded island that bongs have to build their houses inside highschools
Pretty much the only thing like that is different homerooms for the first 30 minutes of the day. But nobody gave a shit about which one you were in and you only cared if your friends were in it.
mine did but I went private school and it was just for these sporting events that happened twice a year. in retrospect it was fricked up.
>all boys private school
>two teams, light blue and dark blue
>you could not change teams once you were assigned to one
>light blue was made up of almost all the legacy kids (their parents or family were alumni), well-to-do tall blonde white kids, and only the biggest most athletic looking black kids
>dark blue team consisted of everyone else: browns, manlets, israelites, fat kids, skinny kids
>teachers would bet on the games and the ones organizing the event would all favor the light blue teams
>light_blue_wins_every_year_lol.mp4
I brought great pride to the dark blues while I was there, I never lost the 100 yard dash and was the first dark blue to win the pool noodle 1v1 tournament in over a decade
sounds pretty cucked
imagine paying a private school tuition and still being treated like some sort of second class
there is no escape is there
Houses are found in boarding schools. Houses are like dormitories. Each House have people who are supposed to take care of you and guide you in the absence of your parents like a House Mother.
>b-b-but the g-girls
Is there a bigger cope than this? Literally every girl anyone cares about is in a house other than hufflepuff.
I want to put it in hermione if you catch my drift
>full of chubby mid b***hes
LETS FRICKING GO
i say hell yeah and proceed to gangbang gryffindor, slytherin and ravenclaw bawds (female) with my fellow hufflepuff chads
i will have sex with the hufflepuff boys
So you want to have sex with fat morons?
cedric diggory is hot
reminder to do this whenever you get banned
>Ministry of magic so far up my ass I can taste the tip of their wands
Considering how much more specific the requirements for Gryffind, Ravenclaw and Slytherin are, you'd think Hufflepuff would have more students than all the other houses combined.
Use wizard mind tricks on it like good boy Harry.
why didn't dumbledore ride the eagles into the goblet of fire so he could destroy the horcrux
he was gay
>was
He's not gay anymore?
he ate shit and died
well eating shit is pretty bad because of how toxic it is
Bruh, who cares. It's not going to matter. The big thing is how are you not stocking up on potions and learning dark arts and other magic all year so when you get back to the muggle world you can completely dominate the scene. Actual working Love potions? Are you shitting me? This is WMD levels of magical insanity and apparently all the other magical morons are too fricking dumb to see the capabilities they access to.
who gives a shit? it's all turbo homosexualry regardless.
Frick some Hufflebawds.
Hufflepuff is a comfy 4 years or whatever and you get the same GPA and cushy government jobs at the end of it. Seems like a decent deal. I am pretty good at finding things, I think.
shit in it obviously
scream the TND copypasta at the top of my lungs
What the hell is a Hufflepuff
I dunno but their symbol is a badger
It's just a dorm name that has team building shit thrown it to foster identity. It''s not going to stop anyone to learn Dark Arts or quietly play politics or be racist towards mudbloods or inbred purists (depending on bloodline), what friends you make, what you do with your time matters far more than the color of your tie.
>What do you do?
I'd eat five bowls of meatballs and pasta and drink a big bottle of diet coke an wait until the cramps set in and then take a giant randy mash sized shit into the Satanic thing.
>I'd eat five bowls of meatballs and pasta and drink a big bottle of diet coke an wait until the cramps set in and then take a giant randy mash sized shit into the Satanic thing.
I outright tell him I'd rather be in Slytherin, the same way Harry told it he'd rather be in Gryffindor. Given the opportunity, though, I'd never go to some sissified britbong magical school when I could go to a school for real men like Durmstrang.
Based anon, he knows that in a real school they are taught real magic
I'm 36 years old and haven't worked a day in my life and i'm high every other day.
Hermione is Ravenclaw
Ron is Hufflepuff
Potter is Ssslytherin
Gryffindor is for those who choose it
start writing my transfer application
I want b***hes
If he says I'm a Hufflepuff, clearly I'm too b***hmade to do anything about it.