Virgin birth tale is far older than Christ. I'd reckon as soon as human beings were walking around it only took a year or two before a woman came up with the story. And here we are.
>women have been lying forever
I mean yeah, but Anakin pretty clearly mirrors the Christian messiah in other aspects. If the virgin birth was the only parallel I might agree with you.
>lying
I'd wager they would prefer "story telling" to "lying". But I digress. Anakin has so little in common with Christ it's baffling this perspective continues to be brought up. Even this paradise lost nonsense. Almost as if people who have not read any of the source material just wanted to keep talking about Lucas's epic.
But don't let my dismissive approach dissuade you. I'm all eyes.
If it's so common why doesn't this story play an important part in myths, foundational myths, national epics? How many versions / examples of this story are there before Christ
>why doesn't it
I can only imagine it is because you personally have not bothered to ever once look into it. And because of this reality has warped in such a way that only what you know could ever possibly be known. That or you're ignorant on the subject. Hard to say which is more likely. >how many versions
Would an accurate numeric actually mean anything to you? Are you sincerely suggesting it needs to have happened a certain number of times for you to be convinced it happened at all? What an incredible way of thinking.
No, i'm not linking you to the fricking wikipedia article that you yourself are perfectly capable of finding, you enormous homosexual.
>I'm all eyes.
Kek. I mean it's not a perfect 1:1 the way Aslan or the like would be, but his birth and death alone are close enough that I'd find it hard to believe it wasn't intentional, consciously or otherwise.
>born to a mother without a father, progenitor is said to be the force that governs the universe he lives in >his death (sacrifice) brings balance to said universe
They're also both menial laborers with humble beginnings who go on to achieve great things, miraculous you might even say. Anakin is the only human to ever win a Pod Race in pretty much any Star Wars canon you can think of. Don't think of it as a straight retelling of the mythos, but rather a look at what if the messiah story took a detour.
If it's so common why doesn't this story play an important part in myths, foundational myths, national epics? How many versions / examples of this story are there before Christ
>How many versions / examples of this story are there before Christ
The story of Abraham and Sarah having Isaac is a miracle birth. Isaac's story also mirrors Christ's. He was the promised son of Abraham who was willing to be sacrificed for the sake of God, and even carried the wood up the mount, just like Christ carried the cross and was the promised Son of God willing to be sacrificed.
>the Dark Lord fapped, in secret, a Master Nut to control all others. And into this Nut, he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One Nut to rule them all.
Why was it stupid?
The Jedi order was so blind they drove their messiah to the devil because of their arrogance. It's quite clever when you think about it for more than a few minutes.
It's super duper stupid. Vader was just some guy in the original story. He was a good pilot/warrior and knew how to use the force well. He was willing to switch sides and be Sheev's lapdog. Now all of a sudden is he jesus christ reborn, always destined to change the whole galaxy and supposedly created by the force itself for that purpose. First by bringing it all crashing down killing billions, building a new evil government enslaving and killing more billions, then bring that one down killing more billions but finally fulfilling his 'purpose'. It was better when it was just a man who had done a lot of bad things being convinced by his son that he could be redeemed.
>Vader was just some guy in the original story. He was a good pilot/warrior and knew how to use the force well.
It would make sense since Obi-Wan was already withholding A LOT of information about Anakin from Luke that he would withhold the "Chosen One to Bring Balance to the Force" part as well. That way, it wouldn't go to Luke's head the way that it did Anakin's.
>Vader was just some guy in the original story. He was a good pilot/warrior and knew how to use the force well.
It would make sense since Obi-Wan was already withholding A LOT of information about Anakin from Luke that he would withhold the "Chosen One to Bring Balance to the Force" part as well. That way, it wouldn't go to Luke's head the way that it did Anakin's.
I mean, he obviously wasn't just "some guy" even in the original trilogy. The pains taken to hide Luke and Leia indicate that, no?
>Make exception after exception for him >Refuse to let him be master >"NOOOO SOME UNAFFILIATED GUY SAID I COULD BE MASTER! I HAVE TO KILL A BUNCH OF KIDS NOW! YOU MADE ME DO THIS!"
I don't agree with the other anon's post, but that's not really what happened. Anakin turned because Sheev convinced him he was the only one who could save Padme, while the Council was pretty against their relationship as a whole. The Council/Master thing was just another example of the hypocrisy of the Jedi when it came to Anakin.
It’s stupid because the payoff is Anakin tossing an old man down an open shaft. It’s stupid because Chosen One stories are always cringe (except maybe Harry Potter where the twist is that Voldemort is the one who chose him and created his own nemesis).
Think they explained in some bullshit canon side book that Sheev was doing some force raping / impregnation experiments which conceived the chosen one.
You've got space wizards using laser swords and you think that's dumb? Come on. They've got this magical force which seems almost intelligent and it just decides its going to knock a chick up
Its great. The force just decided to drop this butthole into the galaxy to frick up the whole system
Which scenario is more likely: >the all-powerful force that binds the universe reached out and bent the rules to create a child for no reason (prophecies are made up btw)
or >a woman lied
You can judge these things based on their impact... israelites tried several times to declare a new messiah after Jesus, each story more embarrassing than the next. Ended up with a disaster so bad they weren't able to recover for 19 centuries. They tried so hard to rebuild the temple only to have it inexplicably crumble away.
Do you really believe Jesus was some guy, and this random carpenters teachings randomly became the foundation of western civilization and spread across the entire world... on accident?
That theory doesn't hold much water given what we have from the time period. Even the most Christ hating of Biblical scholars will tell you that Jesus was a real person.
The thing is there are no written texts of him before he was crucified. All text were written years after the first 'Christians' started spreading their stories. But yeah, there's no proof he didn't exist either so most scholars assume he was a real prophet, because there were dozens of them.
The original script had Palpatine tell Anakin that he manipulated the force to create him. It would’ve functioned as a twisted version of the “I am your father” scene from Empire.
>darth killed his actual father >luke almost killed his grandfather >rey and kylo are not first cousins >padme was frickin rich but couldn't or didn't care to save her mother-in-law, schmi >unknown might not exist, meaning sheev played god and created rey's dad through cloning or force-birth, or sheev also has a vagene and impregnated himself/herself
what a clusterfrick. no wonder they are pivoting to more characters outside of the skywalker line.
Anakin was space Jesus.
there should have been a last supper scene, and an arrest scene, with him being put on a space cross. would've been kino.
in a new hope it was heavily implied that luke found leia attractive. making them siblings who could suddenly communicate telepathically was moronic. the jedi shouldn't have too many powers like being able to receive long-distance distress calls from your secret sister.
[...]
It's super duper stupid. Vader was just some guy in the original story. He was a good pilot/warrior and knew how to use the force well. He was willing to switch sides and be Sheev's lapdog. Now all of a sudden is he jesus christ reborn, always destined to change the whole galaxy and supposedly created by the force itself for that purpose. First by bringing it all crashing down killing billions, building a new evil government enslaving and killing more billions, then bring that one down killing more billions but finally fulfilling his 'purpose'. It was better when it was just a man who had done a lot of bad things being convinced by his son that he could be redeemed.
yeah, i agree with this guy. vader being just a badass enforcer and enforcer of the older sheev was much better.
>the jedi shouldn't have too many powers like being able to receive long-distance distress calls from your secret sister.
I thought this was more to do with them being twins when I first saw the OG movies. Twins are always doing weird shit like that in fiction.
It's fricking mediocre now, maybe it always was, my dad always said battlestar galactica was better, It's only fun to dress up and larp star wars, the movies are just action with a little taoism sprinkled in. The first movie was great, it had its fair share of problems and it did well enough for the time, it almost started an international incident with the fricking sand crawler prop, but now it's pure bullshit, terrible narrative choices, actors, and theming.
Look at the differences in audience reaction and tell me which generation has better taste in story telling
>n-no it was a virgin birth >i-i can't explain it... >he's the chosen one, the space jesus!!! >well ok then, we're going to take him and train him in our weird celibate space monk temple >uhhh well i'm his mother, can i go with you? >....no.
>a kid living in hiding with his uncle and aunt while being watched over by his dad's old friend all because his dad is violent and murderous is the same thing as a woman randomly spontaneously becoming pregnant and producing a viable child
>Born to a prostitute slave likely impregnated by some Tatooine spice runner with a little force sensitivity >Lucky gene combination leads to high force sensitivity >Owned by some stinky female Hutt >Owned by some stinky space israelite >Owned by some group of smelly old space scientologist wizards >Owned by some pedo tier Satanist politician self-inflicted burn victim >Finally dies a free man after years of pain in a stinky cybernetic gimp suit
It's ironic the republic wanted so badly to avoid war only to have some Tatooinian slave boy with a kink for older women to come along and aid a genocidal civil war for 20+ fricking years, leading to a whole planet of pacifists getting exterminatus and many worlds into enslavement for not being human, he's more like space Hitler than Jesus, it's interesting that Ani's kids go on to kill off Tatooine's whole Hutt cartel, changing the shitty planet's nature to a home of professional criminals, one without slavery at least, you know, like Ani dreamed of doing before the Jedi brain fricked him? They all deserved to die, Vader was doing a huge favor killing those kids.
>with a kink for older women
Reminds me of that Atlus adult woman fetish post lmao. Padme/NataliePortman is like 18 in Phantom Menace, she may be older than Anakin but she's not an "older woman". Are you the guy who keeps putting 25 year olds in MILF porn videos?
It's a sensitive subject. If she were concealing that the father ran off for the sake of the boy, or some legal liability thing that would have the father on the hook, she'd play it the same way to the Jedi with an obsequious interest in freeing the boy as a recruit given his off the charts midichlorinas if she wanted to finesse him in the direction of freeing his son. Shmi The Shrew(d). Qui-Gon just has the tact not the press the matter, as it only helps his case to the Council that he should be trained-- surely an immaculate birth is Prophecy portending.
When I was a kid I always thought that Palpatine, learning how to create life by manipulating the Force as teached by his master Pleigues, created Anakin after he had a vision or something. But they just fricked this up.
Anons would you have partook into her gangbang rape? All of her holes, specially her anus, probably would already be dripping with cum when it came to your turn
>Oola gets dissolved in the rancor's stomach acids, becomes poodoo >Her master Jabba dies in an explosion >Vader dies and gets burned to ashes, becomes force ghost >Palpatine dies in an explosion
It's like poetry, it rhymes
Maybe, but there are reports from China's one child policy years that many regional women didn't relate sex with pregnancy and couldn't understand how they were getting pregnant again. Maybe a lie to defend themselves, but the forced abortions were extremely harsh and they'd still keep getting pregnant.
Yeah could've been written better
>somehow i got pregnant
>*sigh*
wise post
>somehow, Anakin was born
hitchens said something like "or that a israeli girl told a lie?"
Not really.
Can’t get blood from a stone
Give any fantasy/sci-fi author enough time and they'll eventually redo the Christ myth. Tale as old as (commonly notated) time.
Explain your reasoning
>Christ myth
>myth
Oof. Maybe it's repeated so much it's because it's the foundational story of the entire civilization ?
>because it's the foundational story of the entire civilization ?
What? Are you simple?
>foundation
>10,000 years into 12,000 years of civilization
Late bloomer has it all figured out
modern civilization, obviously.
>the foundational story of the entire civilization ?
lmao.
Virgin birth tale is far older than Christ. I'd reckon as soon as human beings were walking around it only took a year or two before a woman came up with the story. And here we are.
>women have been lying forever
I mean yeah, but Anakin pretty clearly mirrors the Christian messiah in other aspects. If the virgin birth was the only parallel I might agree with you.
>lying
I'd wager they would prefer "story telling" to "lying". But I digress. Anakin has so little in common with Christ it's baffling this perspective continues to be brought up. Even this paradise lost nonsense. Almost as if people who have not read any of the source material just wanted to keep talking about Lucas's epic.
But don't let my dismissive approach dissuade you. I'm all eyes.
>why doesn't it
I can only imagine it is because you personally have not bothered to ever once look into it. And because of this reality has warped in such a way that only what you know could ever possibly be known. That or you're ignorant on the subject. Hard to say which is more likely.
>how many versions
Would an accurate numeric actually mean anything to you? Are you sincerely suggesting it needs to have happened a certain number of times for you to be convinced it happened at all? What an incredible way of thinking.
No, i'm not linking you to the fricking wikipedia article that you yourself are perfectly capable of finding, you enormous homosexual.
It's obvious that Anakin was sort of a messiah to the Jedi religion, and Palpatine was a sort of a Satan figure.
>No, i'm not linking you to the fricking wikipedia article that you yourself are perfectly capable of finding, you enormous homosexual.
All that seethe and no arguments.
>I'm all eyes.
Kek. I mean it's not a perfect 1:1 the way Aslan or the like would be, but his birth and death alone are close enough that I'd find it hard to believe it wasn't intentional, consciously or otherwise.
>born to a mother without a father, progenitor is said to be the force that governs the universe he lives in
>his death (sacrifice) brings balance to said universe
They're also both menial laborers with humble beginnings who go on to achieve great things, miraculous you might even say. Anakin is the only human to ever win a Pod Race in pretty much any Star Wars canon you can think of. Don't think of it as a straight retelling of the mythos, but rather a look at what if the messiah story took a detour.
If it's so common why doesn't this story play an important part in myths, foundational myths, national epics? How many versions / examples of this story are there before Christ
>How many versions / examples of this story are there before Christ
The story of Abraham and Sarah having Isaac is a miracle birth. Isaac's story also mirrors Christ's. He was the promised son of Abraham who was willing to be sacrificed for the sake of God, and even carried the wood up the mount, just like Christ carried the cross and was the promised Son of God willing to be sacrificed.
oh so now it's a "miracle birth" instead of a virgin birth.
Well, they are both considered miracle births.
Palpatine is Anakin's Dad
Rey is Palpatine's daughter or grand daughter
Ben is Palpatine's great grandson
'luv me canon wincest, simple as
Pottery.
No, it was not Palpatine's doing. It might have been Plagueis.
He forced a baby in her?
The force impregnated her IN RESPONSE to Plageus and Sheev’s bullshit not because of it.
>the Dark Lord fapped, in secret, a Master Nut to control all others. And into this Nut, he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One Nut to rule them all.
aka there was a father but the b***h was salty he ran off
midichlorians are based fyi
The prophecy/Chosen One thing in general was stupid.
Why was it stupid?
The Jedi order was so blind they drove their messiah to the devil because of their arrogance. It's quite clever when you think about it for more than a few minutes.
It's not, really.
It's super duper stupid. Vader was just some guy in the original story. He was a good pilot/warrior and knew how to use the force well. He was willing to switch sides and be Sheev's lapdog. Now all of a sudden is he jesus christ reborn, always destined to change the whole galaxy and supposedly created by the force itself for that purpose. First by bringing it all crashing down killing billions, building a new evil government enslaving and killing more billions, then bring that one down killing more billions but finally fulfilling his 'purpose'. It was better when it was just a man who had done a lot of bad things being convinced by his son that he could be redeemed.
>Vader was just some guy in the original story. He was a good pilot/warrior and knew how to use the force well.
It would make sense since Obi-Wan was already withholding A LOT of information about Anakin from Luke that he would withhold the "Chosen One to Bring Balance to the Force" part as well. That way, it wouldn't go to Luke's head the way that it did Anakin's.
I mean, he obviously wasn't just "some guy" even in the original trilogy. The pains taken to hide Luke and Leia indicate that, no?
>Make exception after exception for him
>Refuse to let him be master
>"NOOOO SOME UNAFFILIATED GUY SAID I COULD BE MASTER! I HAVE TO KILL A BUNCH OF KIDS NOW! YOU MADE ME DO THIS!"
I don't agree with the other anon's post, but that's not really what happened. Anakin turned because Sheev convinced him he was the only one who could save Padme, while the Council was pretty against their relationship as a whole. The Council/Master thing was just another example of the hypocrisy of the Jedi when it came to Anakin.
The chosen one bullshit was retrospectively added because George Lucas thought Star Wars wasn't pretentious enough.
Must’ve been hard to type this with both hands + mouth firmly wrapped around George Lucas failing wang
It’s stupid because the payoff is Anakin tossing an old man down an open shaft. It’s stupid because Chosen One stories are always cringe (except maybe Harry Potter where the twist is that Voldemort is the one who chose him and created his own nemesis).
>"are you sure no semen ever entered your planet vagoo?"
one hundred percent every night back in those days, but that had nothing to do with my pregnancy I can't explain it
Think they explained in some bullshit canon side book that Sheev was doing some force raping / impregnation experiments which conceived the chosen one.
>Sheev
the most forgivable name for the most ...
so reylo is incest too?
You've got space wizards using laser swords and you think that's dumb? Come on. They've got this magical force which seems almost intelligent and it just decides its going to knock a chick up
Its great. The force just decided to drop this butthole into the galaxy to frick up the whole system
If the force is female how did it knock up Anakin's mom?
Libtards cant answer this
The force is futa
>Oooh, Annie! There must be some bad plot devices a-comin'... MUH BONES!
Which scenario is more likely:
>the all-powerful force that binds the universe reached out and bent the rules to create a child for no reason (prophecies are made up btw)
or
>a woman lied
You can judge these things based on their impact... israelites tried several times to declare a new messiah after Jesus, each story more embarrassing than the next. Ended up with a disaster so bad they weren't able to recover for 19 centuries. They tried so hard to rebuild the temple only to have it inexplicably crumble away.
Do you really believe Jesus was some guy, and this random carpenters teachings randomly became the foundation of western civilization and spread across the entire world... on accident?
>Do you really believe Jesus was some guy
I suspect he didn't exist at all. And I don't believe that lie was an accident.
That theory doesn't hold much water given what we have from the time period. Even the most Christ hating of Biblical scholars will tell you that Jesus was a real person.
The thing is there are no written texts of him before he was crucified. All text were written years after the first 'Christians' started spreading their stories. But yeah, there's no proof he didn't exist either so most scholars assume he was a real prophet, because there were dozens of them.
>what we have from that time period
yeah lying wasnt invented until recently. silly me.
IT WAS THE SPICE MINERS ON NABOO
hi-c
It would have been better if Qui Gon looked at the camera and did The Rock eyebrow when she said it
Kino
>There was no father...I uh can't explain
so palpatine roofied her right?
definitely
So Reylo is incest
yes, and it's based
Cool chart but the entire right side of it plus the bottom isn't canon.
cope harder
The original script had Palpatine tell Anakin that he manipulated the force to create him. It would’ve functioned as a twisted version of the “I am your father” scene from Empire.
>darth killed his actual father
>luke almost killed his grandfather
>rey and kylo are not first cousins
>padme was frickin rich but couldn't or didn't care to save her mother-in-law, schmi
>unknown might not exist, meaning sheev played god and created rey's dad through cloning or force-birth, or sheev also has a vagene and impregnated himself/herself
what a clusterfrick. no wonder they are pivoting to more characters outside of the skywalker line.
there should have been a last supper scene, and an arrest scene, with him being put on a space cross. would've been kino.
in a new hope it was heavily implied that luke found leia attractive. making them siblings who could suddenly communicate telepathically was moronic. the jedi shouldn't have too many powers like being able to receive long-distance distress calls from your secret sister.
yeah, i agree with this guy. vader being just a badass enforcer and enforcer of the older sheev was much better.
>the jedi shouldn't have too many powers like being able to receive long-distance distress calls from your secret sister.
I thought this was more to do with them being twins when I first saw the OG movies. Twins are always doing weird shit like that in fiction.
It's fricking mediocre now, maybe it always was, my dad always said battlestar galactica was better, It's only fun to dress up and larp star wars, the movies are just action with a little taoism sprinkled in. The first movie was great, it had its fair share of problems and it did well enough for the time, it almost started an international incident with the fricking sand crawler prop, but now it's pure bullshit, terrible narrative choices, actors, and theming.
Look at the differences in audience reaction and tell me which generation has better taste in story telling
the best kind of incest
whoopeyshoopey darkpowers I pick ur uterus for my forced fetusey
>womb tattooes in Star Wars
this is what they took from you?
>Roastie fricks some random loser
>Doesn't want to admit she's moronic
It's a tale as old as time
>n-no it was a virgin birth
>i-i can't explain it...
>he's the chosen one, the space jesus!!!
>well ok then, we're going to take him and train him in our weird celibate space monk temple
>uhhh well i'm his mother, can i go with you?
>....no.
There are asexual births, none of them make it outside the womb though
You calling the Bible stupid?
Anakin was space Jesus.
Still lightyears better than the Sequels. Seethe softly, sequeltard.
One being worse than the other still doesn't make the latter good, moron.
That’s no more stupid than Vader being Luke’s dad.
>a kid living in hiding with his uncle and aunt while being watched over by his dad's old friend all because his dad is violent and murderous is the same thing as a woman randomly spontaneously becoming pregnant and producing a viable child
Confusing dialogue
She was knocked out and then knocked up by sand people and from her point of view it was a force ghost.
For some reason I always wanted her and Qui Gon to hook up
>Born to a prostitute slave likely impregnated by some Tatooine spice runner with a little force sensitivity
>Lucky gene combination leads to high force sensitivity
>Owned by some stinky female Hutt
>Owned by some stinky space israelite
>Owned by some group of smelly old space scientologist wizards
>Owned by some pedo tier Satanist politician self-inflicted burn victim
>Finally dies a free man after years of pain in a stinky cybernetic gimp suit
It's ironic the republic wanted so badly to avoid war only to have some Tatooinian slave boy with a kink for older women to come along and aid a genocidal civil war for 20+ fricking years, leading to a whole planet of pacifists getting exterminatus and many worlds into enslavement for not being human, he's more like space Hitler than Jesus, it's interesting that Ani's kids go on to kill off Tatooine's whole Hutt cartel, changing the shitty planet's nature to a home of professional criminals, one without slavery at least, you know, like Ani dreamed of doing before the Jedi brain fricked him? They all deserved to die, Vader was doing a huge favor killing those kids.
>with a kink for older women
Reminds me of that Atlus adult woman fetish post lmao. Padme/NataliePortman is like 18 in Phantom Menace, she may be older than Anakin but she's not an "older woman". Are you the guy who keeps putting 25 year olds in MILF porn videos?
Maybe
>israeliteworshipper
It seems to me that the anon you're replying to is implicitly calling Mary a bawd, but believe whatever you want.
It's a sensitive subject. If she were concealing that the father ran off for the sake of the boy, or some legal liability thing that would have the father on the hook, she'd play it the same way to the Jedi with an obsequious interest in freeing the boy as a recruit given his off the charts midichlorinas if she wanted to finesse him in the direction of freeing his son. Shmi The Shrew(d). Qui-Gon just has the tact not the press the matter, as it only helps his case to the Council that he should be trained-- surely an immaculate birth is Prophecy portending.
When I was a kid I was convinced Darth Maul was his father.
When I was a kid I always thought that Palpatine, learning how to create life by manipulating the Force as teached by his master Pleigues, created Anakin after he had a vision or something. But they just fricked this up.
http://www.freethoughtpedia.com/wiki/Jesus_and_Mithra
Anons would you have partook into her gangbang rape? All of her holes, specially her anus, probably would already be dripping with cum when it came to your turn
With the sand people? nah, they seem extra fricking dirty
I like to imagine this was probably Shmi and Gardulla the hutt
>Oola gets dissolved in the rancor's stomach acids, becomes poodoo
>Her master Jabba dies in an explosion
>Vader dies and gets burned to ashes, becomes force ghost
>Palpatine dies in an explosion
It's like poetry, it rhymes
Narratively speaking, force ghosts might as well be poodoo, until the sequels.
Are you saying this does or doesn't look like shit?
Fricked and dashed and left a baby momma
So Mitochlorians are black?
Which makes the kid, canonically, a ….
Maybe, but there are reports from China's one child policy years that many regional women didn't relate sex with pregnancy and couldn't understand how they were getting pregnant again. Maybe a lie to defend themselves, but the forced abortions were extremely harsh and they'd still keep getting pregnant.
What does China have to do with a desert planet in space?
spirits are impregnating a lot of women OP. you'd be surprised of many single teen mother births are "miracle births"