>average height was 170
wrong
that's the grain eating southern soibois
Northmen diet included more meat and milk products, making them taller sturdier
even today Nordic people are among the tallest of Europe
sheer numbers and innovation
you can only do so much with brute force
2 years ago
Anonymous
>innovation
No kidding. Much more sophisticated armor, weapons, and tactics.
Almost like grains made them smarter or something…
Carbohydrates are the brains preferred source of energy afterall
2 years ago
Anonymous
The need to innovate due to famine, long numerous wars and other factors gave rise to new technology, crop rotation etc.
Also northern climate is horrible for all crops that cant survive long cold winters.
It doesn’t look ridiculous. They wouldn’t have been fat at their level of physical activity and access to food. They were warriors who regularly resistance trained just by virtue of wielding weapons/armor and doing the work of daily life as it was back then.
>It doesn’t look ridiculous
let me correct, not only does it look ridiculous, but it also looks abnormal
no viking ever looked like that
For someone who’s never taken care of themselves or achieved any level of fitness, I can understand why you’d think it’s not possible.
The way you look is also largely genetic.
It looks absolutely fricking dumb. The Witch was unironically good and The Lighthouse was good ironically at least. This looks like every other generic fantasy except this time it’s “artsy”.
Being able to is very different from finding someone to agree to touch them.
I, in contrast, have no problem getting pussy because I'm not an angry /misc/yp that thinks everyone is out to get him. Women tend to appreciate people who don't blame everyone else for their shortcomings
2 years ago
Anonymous
Found the molester
2 years ago
Anonymous
Let me guess, your parents met at a family gathering right?
>discord trannies and ricecels SEETHING for months on Cinemaphile
really? i thought overall, Cinemaphile liked the film. didn't really see much seething over it
actually based as frick. Being a craftsman back in the day would've been the life >purpose is to get better at craft >income stream from royalty and others >nobody wants to kill you because your skills are valuable >take up your kids as apprentices
Watched this movie last night and it was great. I didn't know woke people were hating on it until I read this thread. It is just like Tarantino said >art is not important for them anymore, the most important thing for them is the ideology im the movie
When did Tarantino say that? Sounds unusually based.
But it's true, same reason people shit on Cecil B. Demille. His movies were kino, but people get triggered over muh evil injuns and shit.
Woke people don't hate it, they just hate the people who shill this movie for some /misc/Vick agenda and cum in their pants because "finally my white hero"
She seemed to have a bit more meat around the bones, in that movie. I mean, she really looked like a skeleton not too long ago. But I didn't get the impression in Northman.
Can someone explain why the mother acted like a mentally ill prostitute to her son? The read I gave it was "ok if you succeed in killing my new family I will be your wife because I don't want to be on the losers side and I also don't want to die"
may be as you said
but still she's actually a slave, so her story may be true that he fricking hated the previous king, and seduced the current king into doing her biding
the fact that Fjolnir also seems to really love her (married, even went full mad mode after her death) also support this
which mean she could also hate the son born out of that relationship
She was a prostitute and crazy. There's no more hidden plot beyond that. Part of the reason libshits seethe at this film is because of the unflattering depiction of feminine evil.
>ok if you succeed in killing my new family I will be your wife because I don't want to be on the losers side and I also don't want to die
She was literally trying to kill him while throwing that at him. She's a crazy hoe but she loved her second son and Fjolnir.
I liked this movie and want to disagree but yeah, kinda. Eggers probably needed a in-between movie in terms of size/budget before moving on to this. He’ll probably have to do capeshit now if he ever wants a big budget again.
Hello, this is Chad calling from the Based™ Department, It's come to our attention that you've been seething on a Swahili smoke signal copyrighting website about people who enjoyed THE NORTHMAN in their local movie theatre.
As per our terms and conditions, we are quite clear that all forms of seething is regarded as disreputable behavior, therefore we regret to inform you that your membership to the Based™ department has been revoked.
You are hereby instructed to go to sleep and never wake up. Good day
I thought it was going to be an epic in the style of Gladiator or Braveheart but it was a much more constrained smaller story. I still liked it but was disappointed
No, more like Worldstarhiphop for white people
Black Panther is unintentional comedy because Afrofuturism is and Hoteps are even funnier. The Northman is comedy because cultures who behave like orcs are inherently pathetic, an animalistic threat to be avoided or domesticated if possible
I just watched
great visuals
Great idea
Great lore
Mediocre fight scenes
Shit dialogue (at least there wasnt much of it)
Nice messages of honor and family and duty
*unsheathes longsword*
>The Chudman
glad it flopped
WHITE GENICIDE
The amount of seething from the subhumans here is impressive. Anyway, best film of the year.
>tips yarmulke
Hebrew fingers made this thread.
any idea where the vikangz got their roids?
Killing, stealing and raping makes your test rise 1000%.
but since their average height was 170 they were basically angry manlets
>average height was 170
wrong
that's the grain eating southern soibois
Northmen diet included more meat and milk products, making them taller sturdier
even today Nordic people are among the tallest of Europe
Why did they lose to the grain eaters then?
sheer numbers and innovation
you can only do so much with brute force
>innovation
No kidding. Much more sophisticated armor, weapons, and tactics.
Almost like grains made them smarter or something…
Carbohydrates are the brains preferred source of energy afterall
The need to innovate due to famine, long numerous wars and other factors gave rise to new technology, crop rotation etc.
Also northern climate is horrible for all crops that cant survive long cold winters.
>he doesn’t think this is achievable Marty
It is. It just takes longer. Also, Skatsgard is literally flexing his traps in every shot
it looks ridiculous and no viking looked like that
most likely cos they didn't have access to broccoli and modern chickens
It doesn’t look ridiculous. They wouldn’t have been fat at their level of physical activity and access to food. They were warriors who regularly resistance trained just by virtue of wielding weapons/armor and doing the work of daily life as it was back then.
>It doesn’t look ridiculous
let me correct, not only does it look ridiculous, but it also looks abnormal
no viking ever looked like that
What did they look like? Picture please
If you can get that way natty, why do all the actors take steroids?
For someone who’s never taken care of themselves or achieved any level of fitness, I can understand why you’d think it’s not possible.
The way you look is also largely genetic.
>roids
He's not even big or particularly shredded
>those traps
>natty
lol
He also used roids for previous roles in which he looked smaller.
post body
They were the descendants of the gods.
Look up old pictures of Australian abbos before they were introduced to modern diet
>NOOOO NOT MUH WHITE ANCESTOR KINORENO
t. ricecel
Only gays go shirtless.
Why do cucks keep watching all this gay porn?
>shirtless men make me think gay thoughts therefore YOU are a homosexual
God what a moron
None of these people look nordic
Typical israeli pop-history flick
bogged kidman really kills it, also muh whiterace
more like The Roidman lmao
It looks absolutely fricking dumb. The Witch was unironically good and The Lighthouse was good ironically at least. This looks like every other generic fantasy except this time it’s “artsy”.
>white people in a movie
>discord trannies and ricecels SEETHING for months on Cinemaphile
Lmao cope harder gays
The only ppl I see doing any seething is polcels about this movie flopping, but keep projecting
OR maybe just read the comments in this thread moron lmao
I have read them, dipshit.
Ok well at least you know you're a homosexual
>The only ppl I see doing any seething is polcels about this movie flopping, but keep projecting
Keep seething homosexual
Pls consider having sex
Curious, he can have sex because he has genitals. Unlike you. Go dilate
Being able to is very different from finding someone to agree to touch them.
I, in contrast, have no problem getting pussy because I'm not an angry /misc/yp that thinks everyone is out to get him. Women tend to appreciate people who don't blame everyone else for their shortcomings
Found the molester
Let me guess, your parents met at a family gathering right?
>actually taking the time to reply
Yep its a seethe post
Literally never happened. Meanwhile, leftards journos actually seethe about Top Gun absolute success. Seethe more, subhuman.
I think you're confusing between "seething" and "not giving a frick about"
>discord trannies and ricecels SEETHING for months on Cinemaphile
really? i thought overall, Cinemaphile liked the film. didn't really see much seething over it
Is Fjolnir called a mongrel just for being a bastard or because his mother was from another people like slavs, french or whatever?
vgh, what covld have been...
>ayo hol up but lets give accomplished media roastie bjork a role though
christ he's literally doing the "born in the wrong age" LULZ thing.
Holy based
BASED AS FRICK Black person
So fricking cringe I almost got aids from reading such homosexualry
actually based as frick. Being a craftsman back in the day would've been the life
>purpose is to get better at craft
>income stream from royalty and others
>nobody wants to kill you because your skills are valuable
>take up your kids as apprentices
just listen
It's not the eight wonder of the world but it was an entertaining little film.
Only trannies seethe about it.
Watched this movie last night and it was great. I didn't know woke people were hating on it until I read this thread. It is just like Tarantino said
>art is not important for them anymore, the most important thing for them is the ideology im the movie
>i’m the movie
tarantino is so arrogant
>oh I’M starting it?
When did Tarantino say that? Sounds unusually based.
But it's true, same reason people shit on Cecil B. Demille. His movies were kino, but people get triggered over muh evil injuns and shit.
Woke people don't hate it, they just hate the people who shill this movie for some /misc/Vick agenda and cum in their pants because "finally my white hero"
Well?
Based
>movie shows that extra-terrestrial life was already a thing during viking times
Really makes you think
i want to sex her
she's pretty hot in the northman ngl
may be because of the hairstyle hiding some of her ayy features
She seemed to have a bit more meat around the bones, in that movie. I mean, she really looked like a skeleton not too long ago. But I didn't get the impression in Northman.
Pulling her hair back like that does not look good
We do not agree.
She looks like early video game avatars bro
Honestly, it was one of the best movies this year.
mother being a treacherous b***h was a nice twist
Do girls like The Northman?
My Mom liked it.
Can someone explain why the mother acted like a mentally ill prostitute to her son? The read I gave it was "ok if you succeed in killing my new family I will be your wife because I don't want to be on the losers side and I also don't want to die"
may be as you said
but still she's actually a slave, so her story may be true that he fricking hated the previous king, and seduced the current king into doing her biding
the fact that Fjolnir also seems to really love her (married, even went full mad mode after her death) also support this
which mean she could also hate the son born out of that relationship
She used sex to achieve her goals, and was prepared to go as far as trying to with her own son.
She was a prostitute and crazy. There's no more hidden plot beyond that. Part of the reason libshits seethe at this film is because of the unflattering depiction of feminine evil.
>ok if you succeed in killing my new family I will be your wife because I don't want to be on the losers side and I also don't want to die
She was literally trying to kill him while throwing that at him. She's a crazy hoe but she loved her second son and Fjolnir.
It was the 900s bro anything goes
>acted like a mentally ill prostitute
Because she literally was one
Did you not pay attention?
Was 6/10 movie. Conan is much better.
This, it was just Hamlet/Amleth told in a Conan wrapper
While I enjoyed it, I think it was merely “fine”
>muh white race
fricking morons
if anything white people in this movie acting like a bunch of disgusting savages
It was 1200 years ago. Blacks are worse in 2022
>Blacks in 2022
only latinos are still doing human sacrifice
>MUH Black folk AND MYSTERY MEAT SPICS
Fricking moron
No one wants to see that revolting shit
>movie titled Northman
>protag is man from the North known for playing a character called Northman
>this will sell our movie
Bravo
I liked this movie and want to disagree but yeah, kinda. Eggers probably needed a in-between movie in terms of size/budget before moving on to this. He’ll probably have to do capeshit now if he ever wants a big budget again.
>fedörå
have a nice day, mutt.
Am unironically the most viking looking in this thread. Cope, seethe, etc.
My beard is 25 cms long, have green eyes and light colored hair, you will never look as viking as me
ok garden gnome
Sure, toilet Aquaman.
>Am unironically the most viking looking in this thread. Cope, seethe, etc.
Post a real photo you gnome-aquaman!
You first, bonsai woodcutter.
I am not a Viking. I am just a schizo. But I would if you would show us how Viking you are.
Just frick already you dumb gays
I save myself for Anya.
cope
I still have that courage wolf memes folder heh
Maybe the lion is the king of animals but the wolf at least does not perform in the circus.
> Cinemaphile likes unpopular movie
> other people start liking same movie
> Cinemaphile now hates movie
>marketing
>marketing intensifies
>actual people
I love how much this movie makes fat hispanics seethe
Take meds now Cinemaphile. There no chinks here. This is chud power fantasy. You can reclaim masculinity by taking HRT.
Hello, this is Chad calling from the Based™ Department, It's come to our attention that you've been seething on a Swahili smoke signal copyrighting website about people who enjoyed THE NORTHMAN in their local movie theatre.
As per our terms and conditions, we are quite clear that all forms of seething is regarded as disreputable behavior, therefore we regret to inform you that your membership to the Based™ department has been revoked.
You are hereby instructed to go to sleep and never wake up. Good day
>missing the point this badly
I think their child is supposed to be Olga of Kiev
>Kiev
It's Kyiv chud
grammar nazi!
Ok cool
Does any one know if this girl is supposed to be a historical character?
she's supposed to be olga of kiev
Saint Olga of Kiev
Oлga of Хyiv
OMG WYPIPO PEOPLE YELLING: the movie
Vikangs never created anything. More trailer cope.
All good movies have blacks in them.
no black =no good
imb4 muh lotr lol
ITT: trannies seethe at white people existing in early medieval Scandinavia
It's true, I was the girl
prove it
for being the type of movie I usuall like it was very disapointing
6/10
I thought it was going to be an epic in the style of Gladiator or Braveheart but it was a much more constrained smaller story. I still liked it but was disappointed
In this moment I am euphoric nöt by any phony gød's blessing but becåuse I än enlightened by Odin's blessings.
Black Panther for white people?
No, more like Worldstarhiphop for white people
Black Panther is unintentional comedy because Afrofuturism is and Hoteps are even funnier. The Northman is comedy because cultures who behave like orcs are inherently pathetic, an animalistic threat to be avoided or domesticated if possible
Was keking so hard with my bro when they started doing the furry shit around the fire.
I just watched
great visuals
Great idea
Great lore
Mediocre fight scenes
Shit dialogue (at least there wasnt much of it)
Nice messages of honor and family and duty
i liked it
great visuals
soundtrack was a little weak
action coulda been better