Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my wienery stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"
Who needs the infinite compassion of Ganesh when I have Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman staring at me with their dead eyes? Look at me! Look what I've become!
>There's only two kinds of guys who wear Hawaiian shirts: gay guys and big fat party animals. And Bart doesn't look like a big fat party animal to me...
The name's Murphy but my friends call me Bleeding Gums.
Eww, how'd you get a name like that?
Lemme put it to you this way. You ever been to the dentist?
Yeah.
Not me. I suppose I should go to one but I got enough pain in my life as it is.
You circumcised?
And then some.
Date of bar mitzvah?
Uh, yeah, see, here's the thing. I never had one.
In the eyes of God and the Springfield israeli Walk of Fame you are not a israeli man.
Hey hey hey, do you know just how much I give to the B'nai B'rith?
Actually, I do.
I'm sorry, it's just that between stress of the kids, my job, traffic snarls, strife at home and abroad...but I promise you the second those things go away, we'll have sex.
Look out, Lis! Nelson's in our house!
That's ok, I invited him. He's my new "friend."
Lisa...I'll probably never say this to you again but you can do better. What about Milhouse? Don't you have any feelings for him?
Bart, please, Milhouse likes Vasoline on toast.
Wow, really?
Homer, will you stop this riot and save our glorious communist dictatorship?
Communist!? But you guys had all the signs of an emerging market...
Just do it!
And then after the war things got quiet for a while. Until FDR challenged Superman to a race around the world. He won by a foot. Or so the comics would have you believe.
Final question: What was the cause of the Civil War?
Well, sir, there were many causes. Aside from the obvious schism between abolitionists and anti-abolitionists, numerous economic factors both foreign and domestic played a part in...
Just...just say slavery, ok?
Slavery it is, sir!
It's one of those things that both is and isn't literally true. The economic divide between north and south, the growing political divide and many of the border skirmishes that preceded the outbreak of civil war were all ultimately structurally caused by slavery being fundamentally embedded in the south's economic and to some extent social model, but painting it as a homogeneous cause overlooks that, for example if you take the Acadian expulsion that created the Creole identity, being Creole - a thing that wasn't even a thing prior to a century before, but was as such slightly older than the United States itself - was more important to Creoles and therefore to Louisiana during the war than either the US or the Confederacy could ever be; so painting it crudely as a north-south cultural divide and saying it all comes down to the Mason-Dixon line and the Oklahoma panhandle overlooks that the entire US then - as now - was full of people who thought slavery held their nation back structurally and equally overlooks the landed gentry of the south basically treating their states like a bastardized pastiche of some late middle ages border fiefdom shit.
Ultimately yes it is correct to say that slavery caused the civil war (it was after all mentioned in Confederate declarations, specifically in the Texan ordinance; Texas had of course fought Mexico over the same issue a mere 25 years earlier, and still quacks on about it today like the lame duck state it really is; Arizona specifically refused to recognize a "Black Republican administration"; Alabama and Virginia both specifically mentioned slavery as causes in their own ordinances, which is what makes the Minnesota First's flag shenanigans so very funny 160 years); it had been a casus belli in the war of 1812 - ultimately over the actions of the West Africa Squadron, though there were other causes there as well, but slavery was at that time vital to the US economy even as it fell out of favor socially.
>I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children. >Uh, you know, they do have a mother, Champ? >Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief.
Just remember: You were bon in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Your parents are Herb and Julie Nahasapeemapetalan. And so as to not generate suspicion, I strongly urge you to act American.
Lemme get this straight. You took all the money you made franchising your name and bet it _against_ the Harlem Globetrotters?
Ugh, I thought the Generals were due. Oh god, he's spinning the ball on his finger! Just take it!!!
You'd like it. It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. You don't get completely what you would at breakfast but you still get a good meal.
That technology is three months old. Only suckers buy out of date machines. You're not a sucker, are you? Of course not. This is the computer astronauts use to do their taxes.
Uh huh. And this is and always will be the latest and greatest, right/
Uh, yeah, sure.
Bart, you gotta give her up.
Forget it, Lis. She's a criminal mastermind. She's got a 105 IQ, she reads at a 4th grade level, and her hair smells like red Froot Loops.
>I did this because you need me, Springfield. Your fears may cause you to vote Democratic but deep down you yearn for a cold hard Republican to cut taxes, brualize criminals, and rule you like a king! That's why I did this. To save you from yourselves! Now if you'll excuse me I have a city to run. >Bailiff, put the mayor under arrest. >What? Oh, right, all that stuff I did.
You're gonna have to speak up, boy.
I can't. I'm jinxed, dammit! Owww, what was that for?
You talked while you were jinxed, I get to punch you in the arm.
Homer, I thought you said you were going to space out the tubs this year.
Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat, it gives me the right, no, the duty to make a complete ass of myself.
Excuse me, is there an Orange Julius stand around here?
You can have this one. It's almost full.
Well then why don't I just drink out of a toilet bowl?
He'll be back.
>When Marge first told me she was going to the police academy I thought it'd be fun and exciting like that movie. Spaceballs. >But instead it's been painful and disturbing. Like that movie Police Academy.
Children, remain calm, the Falkland Islands have just been invaded, i repeat, the Falkland have just been invaded!
The disputed Islands lie here, off the coast of Argentina.
>You know when I was a boy I really wanted a catcher's mitt but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. >The doctors thought I might have brain damage >Dad, what's the point of this story? >I like stories
I've always loved how thoroughly destroying that line is entirely on accident. You can tell from Homer's intonation that he doesn't even mean it mean-spiritedly, he's just stating it as a matter of fact. But Kirk dies inside when he hears it. It's so funny.
The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flack jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an ironed-on sporting the MAD slogan "Up with Mini-skirts!". Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed "Charlie" to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!
It's a shaggy dog twist >I came close to madness
You think he's referring to the time spent in the camp, but then he continues >trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!
It's all build-up to that line
Yes, I understand he was driven crazy by not being able to find the right recipe. I meant I did not know if it was a specific, real life Vietnamese dish or something made up for the show, due to no Google existing back then.
So what are you doing this weekend, Smithers? Something gay, no doubt.
Wha...what are you talking about, sir?
You know. Having a gay old time. Mothers lock up your daughters. Smithers is on the town.
Oh, ha ha yeah.
Maple soda? A cell phone full of candy? Astronaut bread?
It's the bread of astronauts.
I didn't know Aerosmith made a cereal.
Dad, I gave you a list.
Oh, yeah. He he he. You were way off.
Mmmmm...
Hello, Lollipop Island? There's a little girl here who's had too many sourballs.
I have a hot date tonight. >Bzzz!
A date. >Bzzz!
Dinner with friends. >Bzzz!
Dinner alone. >Bzzz!
Alright! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. >Bzzz!
Sears catalogue. >Ding!
Now, would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! >Bzzz!
Baby on board, how I've adored
That sign on my car's window pane
The bounce in my step, loaded with pep
Cause I'm driving in the carpool lane
Call me a square, friend I don't care
That little yellow sign can't be ignored
I'm telling you it's mighty nice, each trip's a trip to paradise
With my baby on board
>why don't you take the doctor out back? >should we take care of him or TAKE care of him? >take... care of him >I don't know what that meant. Was it the first one or the second one? I can't ask him, otherwise he's gonna take care of me
D'oh!
Ay, caramba!
If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room.
What kind of catchphrase is that?!
(annoyed grunt)
Milhoooooouse!
Whaaaaaaaaat?
TELL BART TO COME HOME!
OOOOKAAAAYYY
>Her legend will live on.
>The legend of the dog-faced woman!
>Uncontrollable laughter.
Why you little!
>Drinking has ruined my life, look at me, I'm 31 yeaaars oooold!
Cinemaphile has ruined my life, I'm 31 years old.
>Say some gangsta is dissin' your fly girl. You just give 'em one of these.
SNEED
fiddly dee
Why did I have the bowl Bart. Why did I have the bowl.
>But I didn't do anything
>I don't care
Beat me to it. What always sells me is that you can tell Milhouse was really waiting for this confrontation.
SOUL
Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my wienery stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"
In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the money, then you get the women.
No, get out of here, bees! Ow, OWW! Agh, they're defending themselves somehow!
Who needs the infinite compassion of Ganesh when I have Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman staring at me with their dead eyes? Look at me! Look what I've become!
Look at the cityslicker pulling up on his fancy german car
>It was the best of times, it was the... BLURST OF TIMES?!
shut up meg
Copyright expired.
>Oh no we forgot Grandpa!
>...
>...what about grandpa?
Guess who forgot to put the foglights in?
It's a death ray. Right now it's only a prototype but with proper funding I feel confident this bad boy could wipe out an entire city.
I want to help people, not kill them!
Oh. Well, to be honest the ray only has evil purposes. Y'know, my wife has been against this whole death ray idea from day one.
I want a grinder... a sub... a foot-long hero!
I want to live, Marge!
Won't you let me live?!
oh look at me, im making people haaappy!
>I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant, and they had to close the restaurant.
>There's only two kinds of guys who wear Hawaiian shirts: gay guys and big fat party animals. And Bart doesn't look like a big fat party animal to me...
>Where did you get that shirt?
>Dunno, came out of the closet
I swear they dont make writers like they used to.
Didn't get it as a kid. I understood the gay stuff but didn't know the closet term so thought Bart was just being a smartass.
If you want to be pawed at by something fat we could get a cat. It would leave less hair on the couch.
It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
I HATE EVERY APE I SEE
FROM CHIMPAN-A TO CHIMPAN-Z
NO YOU'LL NEVER MAKE A MONKEY OUT OF ME
OH MY GOD, I WAS WRONG
IT WAS EARTH ALL ALONG
YOU FINALLY MADE A MONKEY
YES WE FINALLY MADE A MONKEY
YES YOU FINALLY MADE A MONKEY OUT OF MEEEEEEEEE
I love you Dr. Zaius!
The prize is one can of corn.
Man, I could sure go for a can of corn.
what're you growing dad?
Oh a little bit of everything
>candy corn, gummy bear
Can Lisa come out and play? With her hands up?
The name's Murphy but my friends call me Bleeding Gums.
Eww, how'd you get a name like that?
Lemme put it to you this way. You ever been to the dentist?
Yeah.
Not me. I suppose I should go to one but I got enough pain in my life as it is.
>I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're out there, please save me Superman!
Don't have a cow, man
>Can I play the piano anymore?
>Of course you can
>Well I couldn't before!
Thank you Bart I really needed that
Check out this cool pencil holder I got.
Heh heh, far out, man. I haven't seen a bong in years.
Yeah you show them Barney... Pitt the Elder...
This was such a stupid joke. Pretty much everyone knows Disraeli is the best.
>D' Israeli
Severe, accute doubt
And what if we picked the wrong religion? Then every week we go to church we're just making God madder and madder.
You're bad, Bart Simpson.
No really I'm not, I'm...
Yes you are. You're bad. And I like it.
I'm bad to the bone, honey.
Attempted murder? Now honestly what is that? Do they give a nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?
>CAPITAL KNOCKERS!
Hey, this is Richard Nixon's enemies list! You just crossed out his name and wrote yours!
Alright gimme that!
Barney Gumble.
As for me and my family, we shall worship the Lord.
Simpson, you're like the son I never had.
And you're like the father I never visit.
You circumcised?
And then some.
Date of bar mitzvah?
Uh, yeah, see, here's the thing. I never had one.
In the eyes of God and the Springfield israeli Walk of Fame you are not a israeli man.
Hey hey hey, do you know just how much I give to the B'nai B'rith?
Actually, I do.
Isn't there some kind of pound where you can pick up cheap ponies that ran away from home?
I sincerely hope not.
>Homer, what do you have against gay people
>You know...it's not usual. If there was a law it'd be against it.
I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?
Bake him away, toys
I'm sorry, it's just that between stress of the kids, my job, traffic snarls, strife at home and abroad...but I promise you the second those things go away, we'll have sex.
>What country is this car from?
Eh it no longer exists but take her for a test ride and you'll agree!
PUT IT IN H
Look out, Lis! Nelson's in our house!
That's ok, I invited him. He's my new "friend."
Lisa...I'll probably never say this to you again but you can do better. What about Milhouse? Don't you have any feelings for him?
Bart, please, Milhouse likes Vasoline on toast.
Wow, really?
I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
Why is it when I heard the word "school" and the word "exploded" I immediately thought of the word "SKINNER"?
Hey, kids, I'm Ernest Borgnine. You might remember me in "From Here To Eternity."
Oh yeah, cool. Hey, good movie.
Homer, will you stop this riot and save our glorious communist dictatorship?
Communist!? But you guys had all the signs of an emerging market...
Just do it!
And then after the war things got quiet for a while. Until FDR challenged Superman to a race around the world. He won by a foot. Or so the comics would have you believe.
Who's Disco Stu?
Oh, I meant to write Disco Stud but I ran out of room.
Final question: What was the cause of the Civil War?
Well, sir, there were many causes. Aside from the obvious schism between abolitionists and anti-abolitionists, numerous economic factors both foreign and domestic played a part in...
Just...just say slavery, ok?
Slavery it is, sir!
This exchange has really stuck with me for years and is a probable reason why I never take history learned from school at total face value.
It's one of those things that both is and isn't literally true. The economic divide between north and south, the growing political divide and many of the border skirmishes that preceded the outbreak of civil war were all ultimately structurally caused by slavery being fundamentally embedded in the south's economic and to some extent social model, but painting it as a homogeneous cause overlooks that, for example if you take the Acadian expulsion that created the Creole identity, being Creole - a thing that wasn't even a thing prior to a century before, but was as such slightly older than the United States itself - was more important to Creoles and therefore to Louisiana during the war than either the US or the Confederacy could ever be; so painting it crudely as a north-south cultural divide and saying it all comes down to the Mason-Dixon line and the Oklahoma panhandle overlooks that the entire US then - as now - was full of people who thought slavery held their nation back structurally and equally overlooks the landed gentry of the south basically treating their states like a bastardized pastiche of some late middle ages border fiefdom shit.
Ultimately yes it is correct to say that slavery caused the civil war (it was after all mentioned in Confederate declarations, specifically in the Texan ordinance; Texas had of course fought Mexico over the same issue a mere 25 years earlier, and still quacks on about it today like the lame duck state it really is; Arizona specifically refused to recognize a "Black Republican administration"; Alabama and Virginia both specifically mentioned slavery as causes in their own ordinances, which is what makes the Minnesota First's flag shenanigans so very funny 160 years); it had been a casus belli in the war of 1812 - ultimately over the actions of the West Africa Squadron, though there were other causes there as well, but slavery was at that time vital to the US economy even as it fell out of favor socially.
Good read
You should have put "- Homer Simpson" at the end though
rs8xj
Nicely put.
>please take the fries off my head kid, the basket is EXTREMELY hot
Society put Drederick Tatum away. Now he's back on the streets and he's about to get his revenge on Homer Simpson.
>I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children.
>Uh, you know, they do have a mother, Champ? >Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief.
Muy caliente!
Just remember: You were bon in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Your parents are Herb and Julie Nahasapeemapetalan. And so as to not generate suspicion, I strongly urge you to act American.
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, it'd eat you and everyone you care about.
DENTAL PLAN
LISA NEEDS BRACES
DENTAL PLAN
Do not be alarmed. Continue swimming naked. Aw, come on, continue. Come on. Oh alright, Lou, open fire.
>>To lift the spider's curse
>the spider's curse
Anda la Osa
Lemme get this straight. You took all the money you made franchising your name and bet it _against_ the Harlem Globetrotters?
Ugh, I thought the Generals were due. Oh god, he's spinning the ball on his finger! Just take it!!!
What's the difference between this lamb and the one that kissed me?
This one spent two hours in the broiler.
Oh my god, her clothes are coming off! You know who would like this? Men.
Heh heh, time to see what they picked up lately on the Up Kilt Camera. Oiy, that lass is a bit hairy and...oh god, that's Willy!
You'd like it. It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end. You don't get completely what you would at breakfast but you still get a good meal.
I'm sorry, we do not offer babysitting services today. I do not know who that man was that took your kids.
Marge, all these feminists are making me feel really insecure about my penis.
This is what a cornfield looks like honey.
Mmmm...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Aw, why do you need new bands, anyway? Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It's a scientific fact.
Captain, I can't avenge my partner's death with this peashooter
>Swank! 20 times more addictive than marihuana
Tanks? This is just too inaccurate. Hey you, Stonewall Jackson. Stop rollerblading!
Extended warranty? How can I lose?
This has nothing to do with you, Simpson. I have many troubling issues with my beloved smother...I mean, mother.
OH MY GOOOOOD
TRAMAMPOLINE
TRABOPALINE
That technology is three months old. Only suckers buy out of date machines. You're not a sucker, are you? Of course not. This is the computer astronauts use to do their taxes.
Uh huh. And this is and always will be the latest and greatest, right/
Uh, yeah, sure.
Down with sexism! Down with sexism!
Look at all those feminists. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Probably.
This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap, ladies!
MATTINGLY, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO TRIM THOSE SIDEBURNS!
GO HOME!
YOU'RE OFF THE TEAM!
FOR GOOD!
A la grande le puse Cuca
Bart, you gotta give her up.
Forget it, Lis. She's a criminal mastermind. She's got a 105 IQ, she reads at a 4th grade level, and her hair smells like red Froot Loops.
Yeah? Well I eat Froot Loops for breakfast!
Why are you letting my husband die? What does this have to do with baseball?
Death is a part of baseball.
Yeah, the main part.
Let's just say I'm sitting in the right chair
The Frogurt is also cursed.
>I did this because you need me, Springfield. Your fears may cause you to vote Democratic but deep down you yearn for a cold hard Republican to cut taxes, brualize criminals, and rule you like a king! That's why I did this. To save you from yourselves! Now if you'll excuse me I have a city to run.
>Bailiff, put the mayor under arrest.
>What? Oh, right, all that stuff I did.
Shoplifting is victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.
You got the wrong guy. This is Tony Plow. You know, from Leave It To Beaver. Yeah, they were gay.
Never saw Leave it to Beaver, who was gay?
You're gonna have to speak up, boy.
I can't. I'm jinxed, dammit! Owww, what was that for?
You talked while you were jinxed, I get to punch you in the arm.
Actually, Bob Dole just likes to hear himself talk about Bob Dole. Bob Dole!
Homer, I thought you said you were going to space out the tubs this year.
Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat, it gives me the right, no, the duty to make a complete ass of myself.
>Ay ay ay! Un burro amoroso!
What's the big deal? In my day presidents spanked us until the cows came home. Grover Cleveland once spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions.
Oh, why did I bet the company payroll? Gil's in a lot of trouble now.
We the purple? What the hell was that?
THINK OF ME WHILE YOURE HAVING THE BEST SEX OF YOUR LIFE!
Excuse me, is there an Orange Julius stand around here?
You can have this one. It's almost full.
Well then why don't I just drink out of a toilet bowl?
He'll be back.
You city slickers and your fancy German cars.
Sir, if you would just calm down, I'd be happy to treat you to a garbage bag full of popcorn.
>why do you think i took you to all those police academy moves, for fun? well i didn't hear anybody laughing!
>When Marge first told me she was going to the police academy I thought it'd be fun and exciting like that movie. Spaceballs.
>But instead it's been painful and disturbing. Like that movie Police Academy.
>to overcome the spider’s bite use shotgun ice
It wasn't my fault, it was the Percodan! If you ask me that stuff rots your brain. And now, a word from our new sponsor... PERCODAN?! Aw, CRAP!
Children, remain calm, the Falkland Islands have just been invaded, i repeat, the Falkland have just been invaded!
The disputed Islands lie here, off the coast of Argentina.
Homer J. Simpson, I hate you!
Hey Barney, guess who's got a date to the prom?
Dad, women aren't gonna like being shot in the face.
Women will like what I tell them to like.
>“Thou sha’ll not eh screw it.”
>Chucks rock formerly shucks it.
Stop! Stop! He's already dead!
Quoth the raven: "Eat my shorts!"
>You know what would have been scarier than "nothing"? anything!
>You know when I was a boy I really wanted a catcher's mitt but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table.
>The doctors thought I might have brain damage
>Dad, what's the point of this story?
>I like stories
>NEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDD!
beauty
or as they say down undah
noice
>It's Lebensraum! Gott! Don't you even know Lebensraum when you see it?
go back
I laughed
He didn't say that.
really? cause thats not how i remember it.
Australia was created by god on a dare.
nice
No way, man! No way, man! Get yourself another patsy, man!
I sleep in a racing car. Do you?
No, I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
I've always loved how thoroughly destroying that line is entirely on accident. You can tell from Homer's intonation that he doesn't even mean it mean-spiritedly, he's just stating it as a matter of fact. But Kirk dies inside when he hears it. It's so funny.
"Mom! Dad! Baby want pizza!"
"Bart raped Milhouse. Again"
BABY HUNGRY, BABY WANTS PIZZA!
Mmmmm, that's good Squishy
The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flack jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an ironed-on sporting the MAD slogan "Up with Mini-skirts!". Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed "Charlie" to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!
As a kid I never knew if that was a real dish or just part of the gag of him never being able to find it. I should look into it finally.
It's a shaggy dog twist
>I came close to madness
You think he's referring to the time spent in the camp, but then he continues
>trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!
It's all build-up to that line
Yes, I understand he was driven crazy by not being able to find the right recipe. I meant I did not know if it was a specific, real life Vietnamese dish or something made up for the show, due to no Google existing back then.
At the start of the vid, babish says it sounds like Thai Tom Kha Goong
>I was saying Boo-urns
Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!
I always mix this response up with his response to Homer asking him if he's beautiful.
No, don't take the steam tray! Sir!!!
Me and Schindler have a lot in common. We're both wealthy factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, dammit.
So what are you doing this weekend, Smithers? Something gay, no doubt.
Wha...what are you talking about, sir?
You know. Having a gay old time. Mothers lock up your daughters. Smithers is on the town.
Oh, ha ha yeah.
Maple soda? A cell phone full of candy? Astronaut bread?
It's the bread of astronauts.
I didn't know Aerosmith made a cereal.
Dad, I gave you a list.
Oh, yeah. He he he. You were way off.
Mmmmm...
Hello, Lollipop Island? There's a little girl here who's had too many sourballs.
>Hey Clinton, get back to work!
>Make me.
>Hello Clinton? I figured if someone knew where I can get some tang, its you!
>Now Homer, you're forgetting the four noble truths of the Buddha
>I am not!
i just think theyre neat!
Bite my shiny metal ass
I wonder if they still make that shampoo i like?
I have a hot date tonight.
>Bzzz!
A date.
>Bzzz!
Dinner with friends.
>Bzzz!
Dinner alone.
>Bzzz!
Alright! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog.
>Bzzz!
Sears catalogue.
>Ding!
Now, would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment!
>Bzzz!
You missed
>Watching TV alone
You could tear down Moe's or the Kwik-E-Mart
And nobody would care
But the heart and soul of Springfield's in
The Maison Derriere.
>We are the sauce on your stake, we are the cheese in your cake
>We put the spring in Springfield
Baby on board, how I've adored
That sign on my car's window pane
The bounce in my step, loaded with pep
Cause I'm driving in the carpool lane
Call me a square, friend I don't care
That little yellow sign can't be ignored
I'm telling you it's mighty nice, each trip's a trip to paradise
With my baby on board
What if?
What if I'm taking a shower and I slip on a bar of soap?
OH MY GOD I'D BE KILLED
No, I still prefer not.
The Catholic Church: We've made a few...changes...
Great Scott, don't touch that that's the alpenhorn Helmut Kohl gave me.
You watch too many movies, Sax
>why don't you take the doctor out back?
>should we take care of him or TAKE care of him?
>take... care of him
>I don't know what that meant. Was it the first one or the second one? I can't ask him, otherwise he's gonna take care of me
See you in hell, candy boys!
don’t have a cow man
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Thank you for coming! I’ll see you in Hell!