To stop the villains, we have to track down this dead bad guy on this desert planet who Luke lost track of who was actually just dead in a cave slightly underground from where Luke lost track of him to retrieve an ancient Sith dagger and then go to another planet to get it translated to learn to go to this other planet where the fairly intact wreckage of the completely obliterated Death Star II is to discover the ancient dagger was actually a pointer device that when held up to the eye at the right spot on a particular cliff facing a certain part of the wreckage it will point to the very intact ruin of the Emperor's throne room on the unfinished Death Star II which secretly had a secret room to the side containing a device that can be used to find the location of a fourth planet where the reborn Emperor and his unnamed Sith followers have been building a secret giant army of Death Star Star Destroyers which can't function independently in any way in order to take over the galaxy, just as the Emperor planned all along when he was Emperor of the galaxy.
Everybody got that?
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Video game script.
So why are you obsessed over it then anon? Are you a nonce?
That gay only said that to defend The Last Jedi but cries when people throw it back at him for shitting on Rise of Skywalker.
This guy is such a pseud
Except adults are the only ones watching it.
This is true, but even kids think it's shit. My two lads, 11 & 8, are both massive Star Wars fans and yet both fricking hated nu-wars.
I hate this argument. Just because something is “for kids” doesn’t excuse it from being shitty
>that hairline
Opinion discarded
Video games are better than this now
Videogames have always been better than that.
There was 1 single line of monologue in Super Metroid and that whole game was better than every movie made in the last 20 years.
>Video games are better than this now
even counting videogames took a big hit in writting quality in the last decade, they are still better than SW sequels.
When was the dagger made?
Couldn't have been that old if it was meant to be used with the Death Star 2 wreckage, but the whole time they made it sound like it was some ancient relic.
Nothing will ever be dumber than killing an hour and a half of movie to search the galaxy for a clue to Palpatine's location only to have your trail lead to searching his fricking office whose location was never a secret.
It's even worse when the manchild Vader-wannabe shows up and crushes the macguffin, rendering 90 minutes of sidequesting completely pointless, only for the Mary Sue to discover 18 minutes later that the former had his own intact macguffin since the intro.
It’s like Indiana Jones. It’s okay if you don’t get it. I mean R2D2 was the key all along. That surprise sequel ending was great. Guess who they bring back at the end. You will never guess unless you’re a real fan. Don’t watch the trailer he’s in the trailer.
Also Rose and Porg fans will be disappointed and they don’t have any new meme characters but it’s still the final conclusion of the Skywalker saga even though Luke dies halfway. Force is female.
>final conclusion of the Palpatine saga
ftfy
2 deep 4 u?
lets rescue han from this giant slug dude by letting our entire party be captured by the slug dude and about to be thrown into a pit and the lightsaber is inside r2 for some reason and then luke has to go see yoda who dies and then sees the ghost of ben and it turns out leia is his SISTER even tho he kissed her twice and after that to stop the villains we have to destroy the death star 2 which just so happens to have been built in 3 years even tho the first death star took like 20 years to build. this death star is designed to look like its unfinished but it really is finished it just looks like that to trick people. to get into the death star we have to blow up some shield thing on a forest planet with the help of a bunch of teddy bears! while on the death star luke has to turn darth vader who just so happens to be his father back to the good side but the emperor is there and he just randomly has lightning that shoots out of his hands and shit
You tried.
Man, your post is really fricking locked. Sit a few rounds out, guy, or even all of them.
Sooooooo FRICKING DUMB.
I see
Why....why make a dagger pointing out the throne room on DSII? Why give it to a bounty hunter? Why anything?
nuStar Wars hurts me.
Because....it fills screen time. If you have people HURRYING AROUND finding THINGS it can give the illusion of a plot occuring.
if you went and watched this movie after TLJ you deserve every moment of suffering you experienced
I liked that plot device better when a skinny Sam Gamgee was looking for One Eyed Willie's ship.
To find the directions to my house, I have made a map. That map is in a secret location. To find that location, you must find the ancient spoon, I have hidden that somewhere in the corner shop. Once you have found the spoon, you must have the maker's stamp translated, that will lead to you the right street to place that spoon on a sundial, which at the right time will point to the location of the map to my house. In the direction pointed you will find that map stashed behind a bench. And on that map, finally, you will learn the way to my house, across the street from the corner shop.
So glad i never watched wokewars
>10 minutes of turboexposition to get the baseline J.J. Abrams wanted after the second movie.
>Millenium Falcon and fricking TIE fighters jumping into hyperspace from inside an atmosphere directly into other planets' atmosphere repeatedly like it's nothing.
>Ignore Rose as an established character to get back at Rian.
>Finn screaming REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY is half of his lines in the movie.
>Palpatine conjures or constructs a fleet in Exegol. I don't even know which one is the worst option.
>Star Destroyers with planet-killing capabilities, why not, let's make it not special anymore.
>Chewbacca death fake out
>C-3PO memory wipe fake out
>Star Destroyers can't deploy when you destroy these very basic comm towers. The whole fleet is useless without them.
>Cavalry charge on top of a star destroyer.
You forgot
>Lando off-screen gets a bundle of ships we've never seen before because he asked nicely or something and it's supposed to be Star Wars' Endgame portals moment
Anti-hype moment
>Palpatine's evil long term plan in motion for decades is to take over the galaxy....which he previously ruled for 25 years
bravo jeffrey jacob
i never watched a star wars thing and i dont watch it now because i'm not a child or some midwit balding whiteoid in his 30s who thinks trump will still win. i just have to ask since i see this screenshot so often, was this dagger modeled off a dildo?
how many months have you been on HRT?
seems i should be asking you that since you seem to be the typical type of moron who watches star wars?
Why did you feel the need to preface your inane question with that diatribe about yourself?
dont want to be mistaken for a star wars watcher
>Plots is convoluted unexplained mystery boxes better boxes better suited for a tv series format
What a disaster. I still dont get how you can make a trilogy without planning anything from the start and having different directors making up shit as they go along.
They spend over half the film on this pointless video game sidequest that amounts entirely to telling them where the climax is.
Stor Wors
dumb shit
How was Kylo able to find the villain, you ask? Simple, he found a second device on a fifth planet guarded by tree people.