imagine fricking her in the office supply room. bonus points if you do it every monday
>Why would you want to date the office fatty?
So I can frick her. >Do you wanna be known as the guy who dates the office fatty?
Would not bother me in the slightest.
>simping for fatties
is this why modern dating is so skewed, because of these homosexuals who praise average/ugly women day and night?
Not every woman can be a generic rail thin barbie, and not every man can be a drone that thinks that’s attractive.
Once you spend time around real women (I mean talking to, daring, fricking, marrying, etc) you’ll understand this is an attractive woman. Or you won’t - developmental problems are epedimic with you shitheels these days.
I'm looking for a hole to frick at work, not a wife. They can be a bit fat or ugly for those purposes. Their lower self-esteem and naughty nature of the affair will just leave them protecting the secret even if you treat them poorly.
>Uh Oh! Looks like Anon’s got a case of the Mondays!
How do you respond without sounding mad?
This woman has kids and doesn't have to work weekends.
Also she realizes what a cushy and great job it is because when goes home she has to do a bunch of housework and child rearing that is actually a decent amount of real work compared to her email job at the office. She'd much rather be at work than home.
Office Space guy doesn't have any home life so he doesn't realize how good he has it.
>Why would you want to date the office fatty?
So I can frick her. >Do you wanna be known as the guy who dates the office fatty?
Would not bother me in the slightest.
I'd just start an office affair with her and smash her back doors in during lunch in her dumb minivan. Word would get out about my stroke game and I'd just slam my way through the office before inevitably being fired for it.
I'd probably chuckle. Majority of the time someone is razzing me I see it as a form of lifting up your coworkers. She clearly saw he wasn't 100% and she attempted to a corny joke to make him crack a smile. If someone is genuinely trying to piss me off, that's different, but this coworker is just trying to creative a positive work environment. If you're mad at this, you might as well hate Garfield too. It's the same low energy nonsense that doesn't deserve getting mad about, but is nice to recognize the human compassion element, of everyone recognizing work sucks, but we're all here together. this guy was a gay for not realizing how good he had it, and he's clearly never worked construction in the rain or winter
>this guy was a gay for not realizing how good he had it, and he's clearly never worked construction in the rain or winter
I have and if I didn't make twice the money at a deak I'd rather be back out there. You actually have something tangible to feel accomplished about every day instead of "wow I moved around some spreadsheets and replied to emails on my ass for 8 hours."
Just do the white person smirk and fake giggle like 90% of my other interactions with coworkers, it's that easy. I don't even listen to what people say half the time I just pretend it was funny and it always works
The people that would say that shit are in short supply now. Basically everyone hates their jobs and has a case of the mondays now, except for the narcissistic small company owner that sees themselves as the next Steve Jobs.
This. Monday sucks, but it's also a high energy day because you're fresh from the weekend. I'm usually very productive on Mondays, but that enthusiasm usually wears off by Tuesday morning. Tuesday is when the monotony of the grind sets in and you know you still have 3 more days to slog through, it's so hard to feel motivated and the day drags on forever.
Wed-Fri are similarly unproductive days compared to Monday but they feel better, psychologically, because you feel like you're running downhill toward the weekend.
It's sort of the opposite for me. I put off work on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday because I just can't be bothered, then I do it all on Thursday, then chill on Friday to get ready for the weekend.
>Monday morning >Come in at the office, reluctantly >Still manage to pop out a : Good Morning! ,because I'm polite >You look tired Anon! >You look pale Anon!
For frick's sake, how is that a way to greet someone you impolite sacks of shit. I'm here aren't I? How about I call you fat next time for a greeting. Or you an ugly c**t.
>polite gays say good morning to me >without turning my head say no not really >haha you're so funny anon >sit quietly at my desk seething for the rest of the day
there's no way of winning
Im more likely to say something edgy when I'm in a good mood rather than a bad one. If I'm cranky for whatever reason then I try to just make people leave me alone.
I already play an imaginary character at work. People think I'm an extroverted, polite, old fashioned, reliable, humble person at work, because that's who I pretend I am, so I join in with their weird inane banter about the weather, their kids, what they saw on telly, what they're having for dinner that night, etc. I even have them call me by a nickname that I've never used and wouldn't ever use outside of this persona. My girlfriend knows about it as well and says I'm a psycho, but I wouldn't last long being myself in a place as bureaucratic and soul-sucking as where I work.
At this point, I'm genuinely concerned about what might happen if anyone I knew suddenly got a job in my company.
That's also how I survive working with normalgays, especially boomers. I miss when I had a job with people that had similar interests, I could have real conversations with coworkers instead of fake ones.
That's also how I survive working with normalgays, especially boomers. I miss when I had a job with people that had similar interests, I could have real conversations with coworkers instead of fake ones.
Why would you act extroverted? If you act introverted but those other qualities less will be expected of you and life will be easier
I'm fairly introverted but at work I act like the most introverted person on the planet and it makes things a lot easier
I wouldn’t have an autistic outburst on a Monday for starters. Women co workers just wanna talk about themselves. Quickly ask them how their weekend was and you’re home free
I swing around with a quickness, using my elbow to knock her jaw out of place. I return to conversing with my bros as though nothing happened. As she lays there, blood pouring out of her mouth, she'll wonder if her little remark was really worth it. She wonders if any of this is worth it. As she struggles to breathe, I look down with the smuggiest most shit eating grin I can manage and say "What'sa matter? Case of the mondays?" Then everyone claps and the hot girl in the office pulls my pants down to start sucking my wiener, and the CEO hands the company over to me because I'm based.
I worked in catering and I remember once going to an office and we put out some food and as we were finishing some small, hunched over, nervous looking little man walked by and said "smelly goody!" That has always stuck with me. He behaved like he was in 1984 being ruled by Big HR Wine Aunty. Offices are feminine fascism, the work might be easy but you have to have a rictus of a smile and a strained happy nice attitude at all times, which is deeply emotionally taxing. At least in my crappy blue collar job I can be aloof and surly and no one cares and then go home with the same amount of emotional energy as I went in with.
i wouldn't respond anything, i would listen to what she had to say and that's what no one did
i wouldn't respond anything, i would listen to what she had to say and that's what no one did
i wouldn't respond anything, id transfer her to corporate accounts payable and thats what no one did
This thread is a disaster
Yep.
Ignore the shitposting bots. If we let them derail threads, this place will get worse and worse, and they win.
They've already won.
Both you and they are taking this board way to seriously. Clowns!
This board is the only thing standing between israelites and the future of Western Civilization.
>Two girls at the same time
Doesn't matter because I always work from home on Mondays due to having a two-day hangover.
Go directly to HR and claim harassment and bullying
>How do you respond without sounding mad?
Ask her out. If she declines, then goon.
Why would you want to date the office fatty? Do you wanna be known as the guy who dates the office fatty?
This isn't about office gossip. This is about sending a message.
>simping for fatties
is this why modern dating is so skewed, because of these homosexuals who praise average/ugly women day and night?
Not every woman can be a generic rail thin barbie, and not every man can be a drone that thinks that’s attractive.
Once you spend time around real women (I mean talking to, daring, fricking, marrying, etc) you’ll understand this is an attractive woman. Or you won’t - developmental problems are epedimic with you shitheels these days.
okay bro, what makes this fat woman attractive?
her behavior is totally offputting
I'm looking for a hole to frick at work, not a wife. They can be a bit fat or ugly for those purposes. Their lower self-esteem and naughty nature of the affair will just leave them protecting the secret even if you treat them poorly.
This woman has kids and doesn't have to work weekends.
Also she realizes what a cushy and great job it is because when goes home she has to do a bunch of housework and child rearing that is actually a decent amount of real work compared to her email job at the office. She'd much rather be at work than home.
Office Space guy doesn't have any home life so he doesn't realize how good he has it.
>Why would you want to date the office fatty?
So I can frick her.
>Do you wanna be known as the guy who dates the office fatty?
Would not bother me in the slightest.
she would make a top tier slam piece
imagine fricking her in the office supply room. bonus points if you do it every monday
I'd just start an office affair with her and smash her back doors in during lunch in her dumb minivan. Word would get out about my stroke game and I'd just slam my way through the office before inevitably being fired for it.
Why do your flaunt your homosexuality?
Because she looks like she could be genuinely hot losing some pounds. As such, she's still cute.
Again, you're a literal underage homosexual.
Imagine what Dredd would do to her while you goon
Why would I do that?
> "heh, I guess you're right."
it's that simple
I'd probably chuckle. Majority of the time someone is razzing me I see it as a form of lifting up your coworkers. She clearly saw he wasn't 100% and she attempted to a corny joke to make him crack a smile. If someone is genuinely trying to piss me off, that's different, but this coworker is just trying to creative a positive work environment. If you're mad at this, you might as well hate Garfield too. It's the same low energy nonsense that doesn't deserve getting mad about, but is nice to recognize the human compassion element, of everyone recognizing work sucks, but we're all here together. this guy was a gay for not realizing how good he had it, and he's clearly never worked construction in the rain or winter
>this guy was a gay for not realizing how good he had it, and he's clearly never worked construction in the rain or winter
I have and if I didn't make twice the money at a deak I'd rather be back out there. You actually have something tangible to feel accomplished about every day instead of "wow I moved around some spreadsheets and replied to emails on my ass for 8 hours."
Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays lol
Just do the white person smirk and fake giggle like 90% of my other interactions with coworkers, it's that easy. I don't even listen to what people say half the time I just pretend it was funny and it always works
My brother
The people that would say that shit are in short supply now. Basically everyone hates their jobs and has a case of the mondays now, except for the narcissistic small company owner that sees themselves as the next Steve Jobs.
Probably spend the rest of the day planning on how I'm going to rape her.
Why do people always talk about le mondays? Tuesday is the worst day of the week not monday.
This. Monday sucks, but it's also a high energy day because you're fresh from the weekend. I'm usually very productive on Mondays, but that enthusiasm usually wears off by Tuesday morning. Tuesday is when the monotony of the grind sets in and you know you still have 3 more days to slog through, it's so hard to feel motivated and the day drags on forever.
Wed-Fri are similarly unproductive days compared to Monday but they feel better, psychologically, because you feel like you're running downhill toward the weekend.
It's sort of the opposite for me. I put off work on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday because I just can't be bothered, then I do it all on Thursday, then chill on Friday to get ready for the weekend.
(you) are literally me
For me, Sunday is the worst day, weekend already feels over at that point. By Monday I've already shelled up.
God it sounds horrible being a wagie/salarygie. Just don't work lol
>Monday morning
>Come in at the office, reluctantly
>Still manage to pop out a : Good Morning! ,because I'm polite
>You look tired Anon!
>You look pale Anon!
For frick's sake, how is that a way to greet someone you impolite sacks of shit. I'm here aren't I? How about I call you fat next time for a greeting. Or you an ugly c**t.
>polite gays say good morning to me
>without turning my head say no not really
>haha you're so funny anon
>sit quietly at my desk seething for the rest of the day
there's no way of winning
>polite gays say good morning to me
With that much edge I'm surprised you don't say "Bad morning"
Im more likely to say something edgy when I'm in a good mood rather than a bad one. If I'm cranky for whatever reason then I try to just make people leave me alone.
>How do you respond without sounding mad?
I've got cancer, I'm sorry if I'm not too happy today guys.
That's what I'd say
I already play an imaginary character at work. People think I'm an extroverted, polite, old fashioned, reliable, humble person at work, because that's who I pretend I am, so I join in with their weird inane banter about the weather, their kids, what they saw on telly, what they're having for dinner that night, etc. I even have them call me by a nickname that I've never used and wouldn't ever use outside of this persona. My girlfriend knows about it as well and says I'm a psycho, but I wouldn't last long being myself in a place as bureaucratic and soul-sucking as where I work.
At this point, I'm genuinely concerned about what might happen if anyone I knew suddenly got a job in my company.
I do this too anon.
Normal people are insufferable.
... what if we're all doing it.
That's also how I survive working with normalgays, especially boomers. I miss when I had a job with people that had similar interests, I could have real conversations with coworkers instead of fake ones.
Good on you, I struggle to do this and I think I come across weird and awkward sometimes because I cannot match normie energy levels
Why would you act extroverted? If you act introverted but those other qualities less will be expected of you and life will be easier
I'm fairly introverted but at work I act like the most introverted person on the planet and it makes things a lot easier
"Milton has the hots for you."
>Uh Oh! Looks like Linda is an annoying b***h! Haha! Only joking! Or AM I!?......
[power walks away]
How do I get a comfy do-nothing office job as a uni dropout.
Corporate Accounts payable; Nina speaking. Just a moment.
>Heh heh, sure do. How was your weekend?
Looks like Mary has a case of Black folk.
I wouldn’t respond anything, but If things go well I might be showing her my O-face, and that’s what no one did.
You should belt her one and send her to make coffee.
A daring synthesis
I wouldn’t have an autistic outburst on a Monday for starters. Women co workers just wanna talk about themselves. Quickly ask them how their weekend was and you’re home free
I wouldn't respond to a thing.
I'd finish those TPS reports
I swing around with a quickness, using my elbow to knock her jaw out of place. I return to conversing with my bros as though nothing happened. As she lays there, blood pouring out of her mouth, she'll wonder if her little remark was really worth it. She wonders if any of this is worth it. As she struggles to breathe, I look down with the smuggiest most shit eating grin I can manage and say "What'sa matter? Case of the mondays?" Then everyone claps and the hot girl in the office pulls my pants down to start sucking my wiener, and the CEO hands the company over to me because I'm based.
Realistically I would smile and then call her a fat b***h in my second language as she's walking away.
I go AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA and spill my coffee on her while laughing
>Looks like Karen has a nice set of rochunga bunga nackerry noos!
Stare at her chest for bonus points
>How do you respond
Take a big wiff when she turns 360 degrees and walks away.
I wear a headset constantly so I don't have to deal with these mundane conversations.
The turnover rate is so high I don't care if I come across as anti-social.
I only speak to colleagues a lot when get drunk on Thursdays or Fridays.
Why are you afraid of sounding mad?
i would think about this, and that's what no one did
I worked in catering and I remember once going to an office and we put out some food and as we were finishing some small, hunched over, nervous looking little man walked by and said "smelly goody!" That has always stuck with me. He behaved like he was in 1984 being ruled by Big HR Wine Aunty. Offices are feminine fascism, the work might be easy but you have to have a rictus of a smile and a strained happy nice attitude at all times, which is deeply emotionally taxing. At least in my crappy blue collar job I can be aloof and surly and no one cares and then go home with the same amount of emotional energy as I went in with.
>"I'm so happy to be here"
>you want a meeting with the Bobs? Hows about you Bob on my wiener?
I said about 9 words today at work.
I just show her the mug
Is working in an office really THAT bad?