> TO THIS DAY IS STILL THE MOST VISUALLY APPEALING MOVIE EVER CREATED, EVEN BETTER THAT AVATAR
>SIMPLE PLOTLINE THAT EVEN A MONKEY COULD UNDERSTAND
>COOL DUO THAT ISN'T GYNOCENTRIC OR MALE-ORIENTED
>ONLY MOVIE WHERE CARA DELEVINGNE ACTS FOR REAL
This movie should have gotten a solid 10/10, why did it flop?
>This movie should have gotten a solid 10/10, why did it flop?
Shit plot
Actors have no chemistry
He isn't a leading man, he's an annoying child
She is a shit actress
Weird scenes with different aliens, especially the scene where she is wearing a giant hat(?) and they are going to eat her brains?
Dumb and forgettable.
Apart from that, yeah pretty good movie
>He isn't a leading man, he's an annoying child
Him playing a bad ass was so distracting
mostly this.
main character is "alright"
other actors are literally shit
shit scenes with aliens
>lmao blue friendly homosexual lean guy
>lmao save us we are more powerful than everyone but too friendly to dominate you lol
>rihanna scenes
>Actors have no chemistry
Romantic chemistry.
They seem like brother and sister to me I always forget that they're not.
the script was shit and so was the cast and the acting.
Bullshit, Rian Johnson's Star Wars got insanely high reviews in the same year and had casting of the same level as this movie, not to mention the script...
Rating it as a standalone film in the SW universe TLJ was very well written and the cast was great (minus Asian b***h.) As the second movie in a trilogy of an ongoing 9 film saga it was fricking moronic though and low-key is responsible for tanking the franchise.
>Rating it as a standalone film in the SW universe TLJ was very well written and the cast was great (minus Asian b***h.)
It was actually 6/10 as a standalone.
> As the second movie in a trilogy of an ongoing 9 film saga it was fricking moronic though and low-key is responsible for tanking the franchise.
Agreed.
I completely agree except for the cast, sw8 didn't have a great cast for 2017 standards
Anon that was marketing. Disney pays people to rate their movies well. TLJ was also the movie that caused RT to redesign audience reviews so people couldn’t give bad ratings to movies.
Absolute voids of charisma.
it's comfy as frick
but not a good movie
Only the intro was kino, and maybe Rihannas dance. Everything else was cartoon tier crap
>cara is a titlet
>give her armor/clothing that makes it appear she's not a titlet
movie is 5/10 at best
I know it's vain and whatever but the two leads are kinda ugly and feel more like siblings than love interests, so weird turned it off after seeing their faces. intro was cool tho
why did the marketing for this movie act like the public at large knew what the frick this property was? even i never heard of it. it acted like it was adapting a beloved book series after all these years x makes it to the BIG SCREEN
Kinda big comic series in France or whatnot. Felt like the strategy was to imply it was big everywhere and if you didn't know about it you better jump on the bandwagon right now!
>fridge bod
>mutilated ear
>Trans Am wheel-arch nostrils
gives me the ick simple as
>fridge bod
>mutilated ear
>Trans Am wheel-arch nostrils
incest holler northern alabama tier beauty queen.
>why did the marketing for this movie act like the public at large knew what the frick this property was?
its been huge in france for the past 50 years. Bandes dessinées is big fricking money and our started as a israeli mafia racket comicbook industry has locked out everyone besides themselves is why we never hear about it. theres a lot of really good serious stuff out there but its all niche or untranslated.
shit, that might just work. if nothing else hire some interns to follow them around all the time with cameras rolling for a KINO documentary.
my dude, we all know that. he just needs someone to pick and work the story and the flow of the movie. this last one was fortnite the movie. I would dread walking into it with a headful of psychedelics.
I want Luc to do a 3 hour RIFTS New West/Spirit West movie
true he is a terrible writer.
he ripped off the incal and a bunch of those bilal comics.
>incest holler northern alabama tier beauty queen
More like inbred anglo-jew
THATS WHAT I SAID CITY BOY.
parts of northern alabama and mississippi especially the black parts haven't had fresh blood in them in 150 years. there's tons of suboxone queen white trash that look like her in the south
Cara carried that movie and Im tired of pretending otherwise. There is no other reason to watch it.
Where did she come from?
Hnnngghhh pitsloot!
Big Blue alien does it on screen and y'all clap and jerk off but if Cara Delevingne does it for a comic trope you all say "Its not funny..."
Big Blue alien movie features content that was made to be interesting
cara is only interesting because people tell me she's supposed to be interesting
Please enlighten us. What is so interesting about bland blue humanoid alien world that looks like earth with pocahontas and coming of age story tropes lifted from hundreds of movies that came before. Not to mention it was made by a creatively bankrupt israeli pedophile.
You have autism, you won’t understand.
I’m sorry they wouldn’t let you go see it in theaters.
Your mum came with me. She fell for the old hole in the popcorn box trick. Sorry son
they look like big cats of course it would work better with them, having said that I think cara looks cute doing it
Avatar is also shit.
cute!!
Soulless space israelite movie
It had the least amount of israeli propaganda a modern movie could have...
It didn’t because there were soulless israelites on camera in nearly every scene. And I never mentioned propaganda, I said it was a soulless israelite space movie, and it was.
cara is a hot b***h i dont give a FRICK
Main cast tanked it. Miscast, bad performance.
Star Wars 8 had a worse cast and somehow made higher scores form critics prove me wrong
SW8 had 5 A-list actors giving 7/100 acting performances giving a score of 35
Valerian had 2 A-List actors giving 10/100 acting performances giving a score of 20.
SW8 was better.
Star wars get +15 for boomer nostalgia bait and manchild fandom aswell
SW8 had no A-list actors stop it. Kylo is decent but he's ugly. Han Solo is a fricking israelite. Who are the others? Rey? foh
if you're starring in a numbered SW movie you're an A-lister (in that moment at least)
The only sense in which “the a-list” exists anymore is that there is “a list” of actors a producer wants for a movie.
Either way, you’re basically just crying that disney marketed their movie harder than luc besson marketed his
>you’re basically just crying
it's the other way around anon
you take severe issue with the definition of "A-list" and it shows
That was my first post about the “a” list in this thread.
doesn't change anything
frick anon you're an idiot.
I accept your concession.
Thanks Robert
I don't wanna, despite the shit cast I still like Valerian. But the shit cast is much more noticable in a buddy cop situation than in SW
Kathleen,no matter how much you are pushing it,the Last Feminazi and Gender Studies won't be ever accepted. I would rather watch this Valerian shit ten times than ever watch Jake Skywalker's face Gilles with green cum ever again.
Buzzword salad
Biden voter
>voting
*filled
>'She's a shit actress'
t- average /gif/ spammer describing any white woman posted here
he did nothin' wong
He didn't pay his taxes
To many blacks
Fifth Element is 100x the movie this nothingburger piece of garbage this was
Worst is that there is still a director inside Besson, as Valerian doesn't seem to be a zero-effort work, but the sum of its parts is just a drag
I remember loving the opening and that's about it. I'd be down to watch another because the leads had good chemistry but overall the film was pretty dull. I guess by scifi standards it's passable though.
WELCOME TO BIG MARKET
It's better if you know the comics. Might be a little messy for casual scifi enjoyers.
I completely checked out of giving the movie much more of my attention after side plot where the girl is kidnapped by those doofus looking aliens and the dude recruits Rihanna only for her to die 10 mins later.
The whole thing felt like it was an hour and added nothing.
Jupiter Ascending with Chadnning Tattoom is better
Damn, son. Now that's a hot Cinemaphile take.
You could cut 1/3rd of the movie like the whole Rihanna side-storry and nothing would change because none of it was relevant to the plot.
so?
Felt like a weird directorial decision. First Valerian crashes near that supposed radiation zone, so Laureline tries to find him. She gets captured and then Valerian has to go rescue her. They're running in circles after each other and it takes up a good portion of the film. Felt like they just wanted an excuse to show more of those people from a thousands worlds the city is suppose to be made up of. But if they wanted to show that they could have made the big market mission take place on the station instead of some random planet out there somewhere
Maybe the whole thing would have been better as a tv series so they could split up the plots. Have them each be a different mission per episode
Agreed
the casting is the worst part
neither lead is attractive enough to warrant the positive attention their characters receive
Leads were shit.
They needed a better male and female lead. A good actor can elevate a script, but all the Shakespeare in the world won't make a bad actor look good.
Longest movie I ever sat through. On day two, I went to the theater lobby to piss and chat with Robert, then I browzed the entire mall, then I came back and it was still on the same pointless Rhianna scene. That was a rough week.
The only reason rihanna was in the movie was to call the billionaire niece a 10
>plot
Valium, Shitty and a Thousand Minutes
:^)
If they cast someone with acting ability it woulda been great.
is that small unimpressive person on the left supposed to be the male lead of an action movie? he's literally the same size as the girl rofl.
he's supposed to be this guy
And the nepotism girl is supposed to be the slim but stacked redhead
and here i thought it was one of the shingouz
It's set 500 years in the future, males will definitely look worse in the future than Dane DeHaan in this movie + I don't know by what standards you are judging his performance, are you all boomers? They casted him to appeal to gen Z viewers, who see themselves in him.
we'll be gene editing humans into perfect specimens that far into the future, and with the level of tech depicted in the movie. no men will choose to be manlets.
No I mean everyone will be a Black person so a manlet white guy is a better casting choice.
There are no manlets in space.
A movie ruined entirely by the abysmal casting
>MOST VISUALLY APPEALING MOVIE EVER CREATED
pic unrelated?
Doesn't Dane post here? Maybe he'll see this thread.
Does he?
is he even in movies anymore?
dane, i always thought you were an unsung talent.
to this very second, i ponder the question of the day
I'm not Dane, I just wanted proof he posts or posted here.
i don't think either of us thought you were dane, just taking the advantage to post at him if he's lurking buddy
which he likely isn't
>which he likely isn't
: ' )
You sure?
see
you were terribly cast for this movie dane sry, still better then cara at the end the whole power armor scene was good fun
The movie was shit because its primary focus was propping up the nepotism case that bought her way into the lead female role and seemed to have it in her contract that no one could be more attractive than her, so everyone else was ugly.
One lead looks like a chud, the other looks like a troony lesbian
It has some great visual design but the action frequently gets way too busy making it hard to follow what's going on, the plot is too contrived and the main protagonist is really unlikable and looks like he's related to his love interest.
Not made by Hollywood. They don't lke competition
I have seen this movie .... but it's so boring I couldn't tell you anything that it was about. It left zero mark on me
>even better than avatar
bait
It has 3/4 times the locations of the First Avatar movie (avatar 2 has less scenarios from the first movie so it's automatically inferior), it's objectively better in that regard, not to mention the visual quality on a 4k tv, Valerian is superior because the color palette changes constantly from one location to another, Avatar is just Blue and green.
>It has 3/4 times the locations of the First Avatar movie (avatar 2 has less scenarios from the first movie so it's automatically inferior), it's objectively better in that regard
No, because those locations just flash by and never leave any impact. In Avatar the film takes its time showing you what the forest is like and all the weird shit in it. In Valerian every scene jerks from one vastly different setting to the next to the point that none of the locations is fleshed out enough to feel real.
Avatar are gay movies for gay homosexuals like you. No person with at least a standard deviation above average IQ cares about avatar. Choke on a dick you fricking homosexual subhuman
because the two leads were utter cringe, the writing was tumblr tier and overall it was a really embarrassingly bad movie.
>nooo we need a metamorph to get into the embassy without creating a political mess
>proceeds to kill the entire embassy
The first five minutes are good. Then Cara speaks
>COOL DUO
>DELEVINGNE ACTS
>solid 10/10
lol.
it's a shill thread. these are always shill threads when cara is involved. her godfather's media firm ensures that her pig face is plastered everywhere. Read the attached image for more information.
The worst thing about imdb shutting down its message boards is all you morons came here.
you idiot, its Dane he's been caught out heaps of times
Shills are the only ones who make on topic threads.
Advertising is against the rules.
So is posting offtopic /misc/lite threads. I'll take the shills all day.
unless it's disney
Goddamned fricking moron I wrote this post after watching the movie and realizing it was way better than how I remember it, who gives a flying frick about Cara Delevingne. You always need to have a conspiracy ready because you have no arguments.
Becasue it's a cgi bukkake with marvel tier story, starring ugly people. And was made before modern shit audience was old enough to make that kind of shit succesful
Anon it came out in 2017.
DANE?
> most visually appealing movie ever
> this is what the two leads look like
>why did it flop?
The male lead was really juvenile so the relationship didnt really work.
That girl with the angry face needs a man to take care of her.
Bad casting
(50 percent of it)
what a gay thread
>Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
Box office: $226 million
>Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Box office: $1,333 million
jedi wins
>reeee money != quality
best metric to determine the quality of a product is the amount of money the product makes from its customers
underage or something
concessions accepted
I don't recall offering you candy.
your non-answers have been incredibly sweet
You didnt present an argument though.
>You didnt present an argument though.
NTA btw just funny none of you can counter it
What is the argument I'm supposed to counter?
what?
original argument found here
why can none of you come up with something to counter it?
for something many of you considered a flawed argument none of you can produce something better.
The argument isn't made clear, what exactly is anon arguing?
what do YOU think he's arguing anon
I don't think he's arguing anything.
so they made a statement you can't understand?
I understand the statement. It's a moronic one but I understand it and where he's coming from. I'm confused on what makes you think its an argument.
>It's a moronic one but I understand it and where he's coming from. I'm confused on what makes you think its an argument.
if you can't counter the statement anon that's a (you) problem
simple as
his penmanship is wont to BWOO into BWUTT me lad
still underage. Here's the conclusion of your argument, pic related being the best movie ever made according to you
homie if you got a better metric in life than money i'm all ears
How about tickets sold?
moron
>best metric to determine the quality of a product is the amount of money the product makes from its customers
Incorrect
Its unfair to compare it to a massive hit like The Last Jedi though
this is quality bait and that sort of shit will whisk you to valhalla
ask me if i want to shave dehaan's head just for frickin kicks?
well, isn't that the question of the day
The two leads are a ftm and mtf
Besson should have made that movie sooner, while Milla was still "young" enough, and Leo wasn't fat.
that would've been perfect
Or just waited till her daughter was game
This movie is fricking dogshit. One of the worst films I’ve ever seen in my life.what a disappointment from besson.
Cara Delevigne is a box office poison, whenever her mug shows on screen the film bombs, sad but true.
feels like a small part of Cinemaphile feels cara should be in the same waifu tier as daisy ridley and kristen stewart and are just bitter she was never accepted
I think Cara should be in that waifu tier but I'm glad I get her to myself.
>as daisy ridley and kristen stewart
huge difference between the ones you mentioned and cara
cara is ugly as shit
Hang on are you trying to say that some people find pic related more attractive than Cara develigninine?
daisy has a massive ass
cara is flat as a board and ugly on top of it all
yes
Oh your talking specifically about asses.
Fine carry on then....
I'm not talking specifically about asses but if you think Daisy is ugly then her ass saves it, there's nothing that saves cara's ugly face.
They both have a weird angry face but at least cara has normal teeth and hair.
Hang on are you you trying to say that some people find pic related attractive at all in the first place?
Is this the ugliest pic you could find of her? Cause she's still kinda cute in it.
Or her uncle is a billionaire and pays people to pretend she’s anything special
>Most visually appealing
>pic related are supposed to be 10/10 bombshell sex machines
Only memorably thing about this movie was the Rihanna bit.
i just can't look at dane dehaan without thinking BALDING BALDING BALDING SHAVE IT SHAVE IT IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT BALDING IT'S OBVIOUS GET RID OF IT HAIRPLUGS WHATEVER
also i remember seeing some pretty solid evidence he was a Cinemaphilegay so shoutout man
dumb title
remember getting recommended this when i asked a friend about a good space movie. feels like it's for the generation after mine.
How the frick did they manage to make a movie where the non-actor celeb cameo has the best scene (not counting intro).
I've never been entertained by a movie as boring as this one. I don't know what it is but I liked it but man it's boring as shit. I don't even understand, it's like an oxymoron.
Movie needed more coom or better plot and it could've been a cult classic. but since it doesn't it's just kind of remembered by the few.
I wish the entire movie was as kino as the intro sequence.
>I wish the entire movie was as movie as the intro sequence.
>the movie wish I kino the sequence as the intro entire
I'd still frick Dane.
Wasn't a big fan the first time I saw it, but the movie really grew on me. Wish it got a sequel tbh.
i remember shutting it off like 15 mins in because it was so stupid
one day we will get someone to partner with Luc to be his tard wrangler.
I want a collective of Michael Bay, michael mann, mckenna, eastwood, insert other big famous name action guy directed, big budget scifi movie anthology. have it be a big box set.
the sprawl books+idoru+johnny+new rose+the other short stories needs to be animated and played straight as it can.
nah lets have fun, sic uwe boll on him the calibration would be hilarious
luc besson still makes good movies, the issue here is the billionaire daughter was forced on him so he didn't give a shit.
>luc besson still makes good movies
proof? the opening of valarian and?
>luc besson still makes good movies
such as?
lucy stunk before you say anything
Luc Besson is an horrible writer. He needs to accept that and maybe he'll be able to make a decent film.
he wrote fifth element
no he didn't its entirely the other two writers who tard wrangled him, idk why I have to keep saying this, he came up with the idea and general look and feel the other 2 actually wrote the story
correct he can direct he can't write, that's why 5th element worked so well, he didn't try to write it, he needs a tard wrangler to deliver a good script and keep him on track
fifth element was so much better
Too bad Cara Delememe can't act.
Has absolutely zero soul. Nothing interesting about it at all. I forced myself to watch it all but had my finger hovering over the back button and had to try very hard to resist pushing it all the cringey way through.
chatgpt was a mistake
so was bone, butt, and pussy
https://desuarchive.org/co/thread/138853502/#138879671
it would've been kino if they were brother and sister without changing a single line or scene in the movie.
kek it did feel like they were siblings, i even told my mom what the synopsis was and said they were siblings, so when we watched it the introductory scene came up i was mortified
>go to theater to see wow the most expensive french movie in french history wow!
>choose my sit
>trailers, commercials
>lights out
>"Chingchong Linglong presents"
I don't know what it is about Cara Delevegana's face but those thick eyebrows instead of grossing me out get me hard as frick
I would let her do anything to me
who would you recast the leads as if you could
The banquet also Rhianna. Chick was only straight for pay. Market was dope.
It's a goofy movie, just like Fifth Element... but that's why it's entertaining. It's not good by any stretch, but it certainly has more soul than most of the other garbage released these days.