>walk in late to the theater just as lights are fading down
>yell "OH, WHO TURNED DOWN THE LIGHTS? I'M WALKIN' OVA HERE!"
>everyone laughs
>projection guy blinks the lights playfully in acknowledgment
>teen girl playfully pushes my shoulder when I sit down next to her
>girl next to me winks
>"wanna frick my ass big boy?"
>she plops her butthole right on my dick
>someone up front "woah it smells like gape in here!"
>she yells out "yeah that's my open ass! Gape me!"
>projectionist is now filming us
>Robert walks over and asks if I'd like butter for her gaper
>"why of course"
LMAO that could've been me. I put all the shells in the cup holder and later realized there's just a thin cross of plastic covering the bottom so they all fell out.
Nope, those seats have cup holders which would hold them. The poo who was eating them was simply spitting them on the ground
Yeah, seems like it. I bet he also got the shells all wet with his saliva.
Probably, not my job to clean it up simply heard him making noise throughout MI:7 and looked over when it was done as he left.
This happened to me.
You were gaped in a movie theater, using butter as lube?
Thats roberts disabled deformed brother. He injured his hand in an accident in the popcorn mines. He's a nice guy just like robert. whats his name again Cinemaphile?
Dubs decides roberts brothers name
Sneed
Chuck
Smemlenb
Clunkydunkus
Black person
Pablo
Robert III
Trebor
oh shi-
You were beaten by Pablo
>It was unbelievable Jerry, I was trying to watch the movie but this couple was gaping right in front of me!
>Gaping?
>GAPING JERRY. SHE WAS GAPED AND I COULDN'T SEE THE SCREEN
GOOD MORNING SIR
is now filming us
Lost it
>walk in late to the theater just as lights are fading down
>yell "OH, WHO TURNED DOWN THE LIGHTS? I'M GAPIN' OVA HERE!"
>everyone laughs
>projection guy winks his gaper playfully in acknowledgment
>teen girl playfully pushes my gaper when I gape next to her
>girl next to me winks
>"wanna gape my ass big boy?"
>she plops her gaping cavernous butthole right on my dick
>someone up front "woah it smells like gape in here!"
>she yells out "yeah that's my open gaper! Gape me!"
>projectionist is now gaping with us
>Robert gapes over and asks if I'd like gaper for her gape
>"why of course"
Amazing how easy it is to pass as a woman when the lights are low
>tfw ywn gape a teenage girl
JDIMSA
>exceedingly wealthy, stuffy, snobby octogenarian couple are chaperoned from their private box seat to where the action is
>hired help holds out a slice of toasted pumpernickel under the gaping turdcutter
>OP pulls out and a huge squelching cumfart blasts out onto the toast
>hired help places toast on fine China plate and dutiful hands it to the rich elderly woman
>she takes a small bite
>slowly chews
>whole audience is at the edge of their seat with anticipation
>can hear a pin drop
>rich husband quietly says “dear-dear what is it?”
>seconds pass
>”I can’t believe it’s not butter!”
>everyone laughs hysterically as the husband looks at his wife with pride
>”that’s why she’s a Carnegie”
>reamed gaping ass is about to get butter
>suddenly: the campiest queer fruit you’ve ever seen dramatically enters the theatre
>both doors open explosively and slam against the wall
>everyone looks up in surprise
>Robert looks slack jawed and doesn’t notice as the butter falls out of his gloved hand onto the floor with a wet “plop”
>projectionist shines spotlight on the flaming queer to get a look at the trespasser
>…
>…
>in a loud effeminate lisp the interloper shouts while flailing his wrists:
>”I’ll have what SHE’S having!”
>theatre erupts in laughter
he cute
Nightmare scenario
planet of the apes, eh joe
wait a moment...
this guy...
he's seizing
Herobrine?
He is being buck broken via telepathic brainwaves
>kino isnt quite to my tastes
>pour my icee into my large popcorn and mix the concoction up
>stand up, turn around
>dump the mixture onto my seat, leave kinoplex
I do that regardless if I enjoyed the movie or not. I figure if they want to charge me 18 dollars for a ticket and 20 dollars for a popcorn, drink, and buncha crunch that I’ll make them work for their money by making as big a mess as possible
>quirky black guy opens theatre doors and says “yo dey got grape drink in here?!”
>everyone laughs
>buy cinema ticket to see Barbie
>look at it and see I've been selected as the designated theatre jester
>panic and search around
>find a really large cardboard tv remote in a backroom, used to promote Click
>figure I can use it as a makeshift giant phone
>walk into the screening, late, with it held up next to my head
>"HELLO? YEAH! I'M IN THE CINEMA! WATCHING THE NEW BARBIE FILM. NO. IT'S SHIT!"
>everyone stares at me
>no one laughs
>a stacy asks why I'm holding a giant tv remote to my head
>try to stammer out that it's supposed to be a phone and I'm doing a bit like on Trigger Happy tv
>another Stacy asks if I'm the theatre jester
>awkwardly mumble yes
>they call the manager and have me escorted out for not making any of them laugh
Didn't even get a refund
I'm starting to think none of that stuff actually happened bros
This entire interaction should be animated by the finest artists the world has to offer