>walk in late to the theater just as lights are fading down
>yell "OH, WHO TURNED DOWN THE LIGHTS? I'M WALKIN' OVA HERE!"
>everyone laughs
>projection guy blinks the lights playfully in acknowledgment
>teen girl playfully pushes my shoulder when I sit down next to her
>girl next to me winks
>"wanna frick my ass big boy?"
>she plops her butthole right on my dick
>someone up front "woah it smells like gape in here!"
>she yells out "yeah that's my open ass! Gape me!"
>projectionist is now filming us
>Robert walks over and asks if I'd like butter for her gaper
>"why of course"
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this happened
I actually said this and looked like this frog the other day seeing T-Swift’s new film.
Op is a homosexual and made this post up, but this actually did happen to me.
>quirky black guy opens theatre doors and says “yo dey got grape drink in here?!”
>everyone laughs
Any peer-reviewed sources on this?
I heard Snopes is about to drop a deboonk on it. My gay cousin works there and told me it was actually 100% boonked and they’re delaying publication because they can’t believe it’s not fake news. Don’t repeat this I don’t want they to lose their job.
>exceedingly wealthy, stuffy, snobby octogenarian couple are chaperoned from their private box seat to where the action is
>hired help holds out a slice of toasted pumpernickel under the gaping turdcutter
>OP pulls out and a huge squelching cumfart blasts out onto the toast
>hired help places toast on fine China plate and dutiful hands it to the rich elderly woman
>she takes a small bite
>slowly chews
>whole audience is at the edge of their seat with anticipation
>can hear a pin drop
>rich husband quietly says “dear-dear what is it?”
>seconds pass
>”I can’t believe it’s not butter!”
>everyone laughs hysterically as the husband looks at his wife with pride
>”that’s why she’s a Carnegie”
not bad
put me in the screencap
don't put me in the screencap because i don't get it
Still better writing than anything at the actual theater.
*dutifully
Best thread on Cinemaphile
That didn't happen.
*chuckles*
Baskin Roberts trust fund band
is now filming us
I don't think that's how the projection camera works
it's not a projection camera its a projection projector, moron.
This was enjoyable until the woman asked if he wanted to frick her ass. That’s when it jumped the shark.
>reamed gaping ass is about to get butter
>suddenly: the campiest queer fruit you’ve ever seen dramatically enters the theatre
>both doors open explosively and slam against the wall
>everyone looks up in surprise
>Robert looks slack jawed and doesn’t notice as the butter falls out of his gloved hand onto the floor with a wet “plop”
>projectionist shines spotlight on the flaming queer to get a look at the trespasser
>…
>…
>in a loud effeminate lisp the interloper shouts while flailing his wrists:
>”I’ll have what SHE’S having!”
>theatre erupts in laughter
holy kino!
Opening scene for the 3rd Deadpool movie has now been spoiled.
Thanks alot OP. I was saving up for movie ticket but you ruined it for me.
>grandma start rapping on my wiener while I beatbox
I kneel.
Kino thread
I heard porn writers lurk here and I hope they took notes and we’ll see this recreated soon.
If only porn could be this kino. Maybe it is for you guys but the only porn I've ever seen I would consider kino would be amateur and maybe some softcore stuff. Otherwise like 95% of the time I use erotica and/or non nude pictures.