Such a tragic and short life.
Also imagine getting mogged by a dwarf woman
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Warwick Davis wife dead at 53
Such a tragic and short life.
Also imagine getting mogged by a dwarf woman
CRIME Shirt $21.68 |
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Must be a tall order finding a casket her size.
Just use an Altoids tin
MY DEAD MIDGET WIFE OKAY
CAN I GO NOW
>MY DEAD MIDGET WIFE OKAY
>CAN I GO NOW
thread requires sticky
I wouldnt want to die at a young age of 53 nor lose the chance to grow old with my wife. My condolences.
that said I dont like him. Willow is shit. and Id love boot his face with steel toe footwear
nah mate don't feel bad 53 in midge years is like 120 in real years
Life's Too Short was great and at the very least I can throw him some respect for willing to play himself in that.
The Willow movie was fine, the tv show was like who cares? He does get too much credit for his work as an ewok a role that never required acting talent, just a midge, but also I think he was a kid when RotJ was made so whatever.
He only gets so much hate because he's easily memeable. Lets not forget he called out Dinklage for trying to get rid of traditional non offensive dwarf roles too.
The OG Willow was kino
Her life was too short.
I hope this isn't a publicity stunted, but if it's real, my skepticism is dwarfed by my condolences.
mods sticky this its the least we can do with how often anons talk about wanting to torture this guy to death
Big if true
I can be the pallbearer
Maybe. How far can you walk on your knees?
Why would they carry the coffin of a short person on their knees? That makes no sense.
it's an absurdist joke don't look too far into it
>make a shit joke
>iT's AbSuRdiSt
Your sense of humor is as small as a shriveled up midge corpse.
Next time say "it went over your head". You know, because he's short. Get it? He gets it. He's loffin.
I never trusted squirrels.
STICKY WHERE????
someone dies and all you homosexuals can do is belittle them
dam what a short amount of replies for such a giant celebrity wife
>a short amount of replies
Hopefully Warwick isn't far behind. From what I've heard these people rarely live past 60
I wouldn’t exactly call them people.
>short life
You fricks should be absolutely ashamed of yourself.
This is a man’s dead wife you are mocking.
I know we like to have a good troll here and there, but this is neither the time nor the place.
Sit down, and be fricking respectful
>Sit down
Wow man, you have such a short temper
It's time for us to be the bigger man.
*sits down*
*knells*
finally, a person willing to stand up for the higher cause of manners and respect
its time Cinemaphile had someone to look up to
Exactly it's no laughing matter, life is too short, we are only here in this earth for a short amount of time, Hopefully warwick sorts things out in short order so he can come to terms with this, hopefully it will be a shot Process.
You fricked it all up because you're an edge lord homosexual.
Calm down life is to short man, no reason to have a short fuse
I would personally kidnap his entire family and hide them away in my spacious subterranean dungeon. Nothing quite like unrestrained torture against his own flesh and blood. There they all sat, four abominable midgets, squirming like ascaris with their hands and feet bound. I guess I could start by brutally molesting Annabelle in front of her parents as they cry and protest in their comically high-pitched midget-voices. No, too predictable, I thought. How about viciously dismembering Harrison, then picking up his tiny limbs (with tweezers, naturally) and smacking old Warwick over his disproportionate head with them? No, that has already been done, I thought. Of course, I was an active member in the MWDSS (Multiversal Warwick Davis Sadism Society) and regularly read articles published from other timelines describing other members escapades in midge-mutilation. I had to think of something fresh. It was some time later that I returned to my cellar, the four barely-visible mockeries of human existence still writhing on the floor, Harrison and Samantha lying on their sides whilst Warwick and his daughter still managed to keep somewhat upright positions. I had to physically adjust the former two to prevent them from falling through the spaces between the floor-atoms. I produced two wrapped bundles from my chest pocket, meticulously unwrapping them in front of the pipsqueaks. Warwick and his wife seemed to recognise the contents, despite their extremely decayed state – for in these bundles lay the remains of Lloyd and George Davis, Warwick’s previous loathsome spawn which had the kindness to die before they ever reached maturity. I approached the now crying elder munchkins, simultaneously pried both their jaws open (with my index and middle fingers). “Choo choo, here comes the midge-train”.
Aww shit here we go again
Imagine the pride you would be feeling on the day of reckoning, the day that professional actor Warwick Davis finally brings Hiroshimoot into court for his many crimes. Warwick strides into the courtroom, only taking eighteen minutes to get from the door to the prosecution's table. He gets a lift up to his seat from his lawyer, and they begin their examination. Hiroshima is smiling wickedly, despite all this, and he looks almost godlike in the high heavens of the witness box, a mountain of stairs and wood insurmountable to poor Warwick.
"And you provided a forum for these trolls to make threats on my client's life, isn't that Mr. Miyamoto?!" says the prosecutor, his booming voice hurting Warwick's ears.
Nagasaki grins broadly and states, "The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact," and proceeds to dab. The wind currents from his arm pick up Warwick and whisk him up through the courtroom until he crashes in the stands. The laughter of the many giants around him is deafening. The judge proclaims that Hashimoto is not only based, but redpilled, and slams his gavel--a weapon so large it could crush Warwick's entire family with a single swing. Warwick desperately tries to plead for mercy as the court's pet beetle crawls into the room to devour him. The judge decides that Warwick's daughter must also be used as a wiener-sleeve because death is far too kind for a midge. The American jury engages in a standing ovation.
Warwick is taken into the jaws of the beetle, but miraculously, he fits through the atoms of his teeth and survives--only for there to be a surge of pain--he's struck by an electron and dies in agony. His body is burned to a crisp, and appears like little more than a blackened scrap of french fry in the bottom of a bag of McDonalds.
Hirosaki shoves that speck up his ass, and dabs once more.
Imagine being a tiny little bit of a man. You wake up in the morning and throw back the napkin blanket from your matchbox bed. You almost role off and fall to your death. Feel around for the ladder with your rice sized toe. There it is. You climb down. Now you see an ant. The giant brute lumbering toward you. The smell of tiny man meat intoxicating the insect. You run, or more like you hop, towards the safety of a small crack in the wall not even the ant can fit in. Take a moment to rejoice and let your eyes adjust to the darkness. You're so small you can see every individual ray of light. Hungry from your morning adventure you decide to eat. Luckily a feast of atoms and other subatomic particles lay before you. You eat barely a third of a neutron and you're stuffed. That's when you notice you've accidentally begun to fall through the very fabric of existence. You grasp oot but everything is too big to hold onto. You fall into the abyss.
It'd suck being a midge.
JANNIES FRICKING STICKY THIS WARWICKPOSTING IS ESSENTIAL Cinemaphile CULTURE
Personally, I would swallow Warwick Davis. Nothing would be more humiliating for him than to live out his final days imprisoned in the anatomical labyrinth of a normal sized human. Every inch of my intestines would be a mile of torment for Warwick, every little step of his a reminder of his puny insignificance. In order to sufficiently break his will, I’d ensure that his death came slow. I would encase him in the wax of a melted birthday candle to protect his skin and pose him like a gingerbread man just for fun. Inside his wax cocoon I’d leave him a light source, an LED bulb attached to a watch battery.
He spends the first few hours of his fatal journey tumbling helplessly like a pebble in a tidal wave of bile. Eventually the wax cracks at his joints, letting the foul goblin freely traverse my intestinal dungeon. Warwick quickly grows tired after walking several feet without his trusty child-sized Segway and starts to crawl like the ant he is. His infantile stride is assisted by the corrosive flow of my digestive system but gradually, Warwick’s candy-colored armor degrades. The exposed tissue of the vile homunculus starts melting, limiting his movement even further (as if that’s even possible).
Engulfed in agony, his LED bulb depleted, the midge finally collapses. The world around him is now a pitch black void, a meaningless pocket of space inside my body but for Warwick, his tomb. Suddenly, a glimmer of light emerges. Warwick fixes his beady, partially corroded eyes on it. The light grows brighter until suddenly he begins moving toward it, as if carried by angels to the gates of heaven. But alas, there is no heaven for the odious midge. I reach with toilet paper in hand, wipe and feel an odd sensation like popping a zit. Upon the paper I find the smeared visage of Warwick Davis’ upper half, his face a squished skin mask streaked in browns and reds. I relish in this moment realizing that he has become what he and the world always knew he was. Shit.
he'd just suffocate immediately doe, but i'm not sure how much oxygen a pear sized human would need
This is an odd way of saying you want to suck Warwick's wang and swallow his semen.
another lanklet dead, short kings rise up
>short life
RIP
imagine 3 normal people carrying the casket and Warwick just dangling in the air
it'll be just one guy with a backpack coffin
I've been laughing at this for about 10 minutes
Hell for her for birthing more midgets.
pretty small of you all to make jokes at a time like this, but your little comments are all mental midgets like you ever have
Small if true
Guys, stop. It's a very, very big problem.
I saw this news at work and I thought of you degenerates immediately.
life
thank you anons
That's awful
Just seen this picture of Warwick with his father in law
That guy towers over him at 3’8”
>3 ft vs 2”11
Patton Oswald 2?
0.5
Which one of you was it?
>you entered the thread
her life was cut short. RIP
Apparently she died last month but the family waited to announce it:
https://news.sky.com/story/warwick-daviss-wife-samantha-dies-aged-53-13117621
>These are their children
Should dwarves be allowed to procreate ?
*leans into microphone*
absolutely. in time a new race of gnomish inventors or elf-like craftsmen will rise and empower their human betters. absolutely nothing can go wrong
To be fair his kids are pretty cool, even if you don't like Warwick. Also their mum just died, don't be a duck just to sound like an edgelord.
yeah, i bet ducks must be scary for dwarves. Just plucking them out from their doll houses and swallowing them in a single gulp
Yeah, their mom died at 53 from complications from her dwarfism...coincidentally the same condition they knowingly gave to their children so they will die young too
>Look kids, you'll die 20-30 years younger than absolute majority of your peers, but we just wanted kids that looked like us so much, so bear with it.
There are people in this world who justify this wretched, egoistic logic.
small people just want to cut off worlds legs
It’s human hubris. Plenty of people fall into that trap, and you can’t fault Warwick for being one of them. How many people do you personally know that plan on adopting instead of birthing another child into the world? Probably zero.
> and you can’t fault Warwick for being one of them.
Yes I can
fricking midge
>Thank you mom and dad for dooming me to a short life of a midget
Pure egoism. People don't care how their children with severe genetic disease will feel about it.
They have another one who isn't a dwarf and is basically estranged, or at least refuses to associate with them in public
So we were right!
*grabs his toolbox*
In the olden days, midget girls with a comely face were prized by lords of noble houses. They would be kept chained in a secret closet until the master of the house needed quick relief. Then they'd go to work, sucking and using their hands to pleasure him. Officially, it was forbidden for anyone else to partake, but it was an open secret that the stewards and footman and coach drivers and butlers would all call on her for the same purpose and everyone looked the other way.
This is the deal I offer Warrick's daughter.
Jesus christ look at these fricking abominations. Honestly what is the fricking point in bringing these creatures into the world? Their lives are gonna be for nothing because they can't do anything, and they just make other peoples lives awkward having to include them in shit and pretending like they're not unholy vermin. Frick midges.
Without scale this just looks like the average British family
His son is like a midget Proclaimer
I WILL WALK 500 CENTIMETRES JUST TO BE HALF A MAN
no, they should be sold as footballs
They just thought they couldn't find her
>Apparently she died last month but the family waited to announce it
so they had the corpse just lying there for a month?
She was small enough to store in the freezer
in one of the slots of the family ice cube tray plot
Bury her with her pot of gold.
So Warwick's love of his life just so happened to have a similar height? Small world.
https://vocaroo.com/1oxDO6xhEcAA
I made a song to commemorate the passing of his wife
>https://vocaroo.com/1oxDO6xhEcAA
do you think she begged her little midge god
It's the same kind of self absorbed deaf morons who produce deaf kids then deny them cochlear implants.
Do you see what you did, Cinemaphile? Are you proud of yourselves?
It’s no small tragedy RIP MRS WARWICK
wow she really lived a short time. tiny really.
The NHS couldn't save her??
Pfizer.com/refunds
Um anon I think your link is broken.
An absolute tragedy. She died due to complications of her dwarfism. An unusually strong cosmic ray has hit her right in the head.
How I would love to lock Warwick Davis into a lead-lined chamber with a lump of uranium-235 inside for an hour or so, maybe more. I would get someone to drag him out and watch as he starts puking and stumbling over his pathetic midget leg-stumps dizzily, finally losing consciousness. I would then take him to a comfortable bed and impersonate a doctor - putting him to rest, pretending to look after him and ensuring him that he would get better. As the days pass, the disgusting little goblin will get worse and worse, vomiting, shitting piping-hot bloody diarrhoea and generally screaming in pain from his now burned and necrotic flesh, his internal organs failing and his chromosomes melting. But I would still lie to this festering imp and tell him it gets worse before it gets better. As he gets to his final stages of acute radiation poisoning, I will reveal that i lied to him the whole time and that he is going to die. The demonic pipsqueak starts bawling his beady eyes out as I let out a hearty laugh. He begs to be put out of his mercy, but I ignore his pathetic whines and start peeling his bubbling mottled skin from his tiny arms. The screams get louder and louder as I peel and peel, and I finally get some peace when I stuff the sticky, squelching flesh into his disproportionate midge-mouth. I get a bucket of his own bloody diarrhoea and rub it into his raw, exposed flesh, and finally close the curtain, turn off the lights and exit the medical room forever - leaving this satanic little munchkin to expire.
Whats even better is that radiation sickness does actually get better before it gets worse, so he will feel better and actually start to have hope that he will live. He won't.
how very low of you...
are you really incapable of rising above this small-minded pettiness?
hopefully Warwick takes you to court and the judge sends you down for a few years.
little-by-little, this childish behaviour will finally stop
Yeah,these people need to grow up.
Was she vaxxed?
wait do they give em a half dose?
>5’11 woman vs 5’11 man
>5’11 woman
scary creatures
We're going to need an old priest and a young priest and a shotgun
what kind of insane prostitute do you have to be to do this asinine movement and film yourself from 7 different angles
The Oompa Loompa guild sends their condolences.
Reminder that Warwick has 1 normal sized daughter and she is treated like shit and rejected from the family. They hate her because she is normal and didn't inhered the midget genes. They forced her to live in a midget house and wouldn't accommodate her normal size even though Warwick is rich as frick and could just make a bigger house and normal sized chairs.
Realistically what are the chances she's a product of infidelity and not some miracle black sheep non-midget? Maybe that's why he hates her. Plenty of normal size men would frick a midget woman given the chance, and Warwick is often away working and I guess he has to hire workmen to build all the custom midget shit in his house. It's not hard to imagine one of them fricking Samantha raw while Warwick was prancing around somewhere in a humiliating leprechaun costume. She then passes of the regular height child as some genetic anomaly but he doesn't believe it.
I think you're on to something. We need to bring Maury out of retirement. I think he'd be up for it
Yeah but your cuck fantasies aside, it's not just Warwick who hates her, it's the entire family. None of them ever mention the normal daughter
why are they allowing midgets to reproduce?
You can stop them. You know what you have to do.
their kids are gonna die fast
>Warwick Davis' wife cried for four days as she 'realised she was going to die'
She went from Happy to Grumpy
>Oh, Anon, it saddens me to say you are terrible at Tenable. Goodbye! Off he goes into the vorte-
>Lawl your wife's dead!
I’ll light a small candle
R.i.p
>Phwoar, these coffins are cozy!
Have no fears we've got midgets for years.
who the frick is that little homosexual?
Bongland grows them like weeds for some reason
so what did she die from?
short covid
slipped off her bed and fell for hours, tragic stuff
Cut down in her prime. T's & P's to Warwick and his family.
>You fricks should be absolutely ashamed of yourself.
>This is a man’s dead wife you are mocking.
>I know we like to have a good troll here (how d'you do fellow Channers) and there, but this is neither the time nor the place.
>Sit down, and be fricking respectful
Reminder his daughter takes big normal height male wiener everyday. Midges can’t compete
Holy shit I can't believe that Watto is dead.
>Can you believe I fricked this thing lol
>her body is in the morgue in one of those refrigerated storage things
>finally got to play fridge the midge
midge
I want to dig up midge's mutant midwife and parade her corpse around outside his matchbox home.
I want to dance her dysgenic body around waiting for his squeel's of pain and despair to become audible to human ears. Only when he's spiritually broken, do I slip off the gnome finger puppet off my pinky. I crush and roll her body between my thumb and index finger and flick it like a booger asteroid right at Warwick's direction.
If someone he survives the Chicxulubian crater, I finally exhale and blast him away with CAT 5 hurricane force.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA GOOD FRICKING SHIT.
SAFE
AND
EFFECTIVE
What do you get when you put a midge in a casket?
An erection
Her life was cut even shorter
>tragic and short
lel
>wife dies
>make a statement about how she contributed to your career
grim
Eh, 53 isn't bad at all for a midget, honestly. She had a good innings given the cards she was dealt at birth. Shame she had to be married to that abominable little c**t, though.
did she really die in that accident on the webm.....where the dude specifically says its not for her kind then she bashes her head open at the end of the wire ride because people failed to catch her because her small size? Like the narrator literally said she shouldnt....
bump on my post, I need to know if that webm was real
What webm?
>"Her passing has left a huge hole in our lives as a family," Davis said in a statement to the BBC. "I miss her hugs."
This is not the thread for empathy, friend
got to be shit though. seeing as he had her as a fellow midget who could relate him and understand him and now she is going. how many escorts will he be paying now?
A small number
>Her passing has left a huge hole
>Her passing has left a huge hole in our lives as a family
I mean, he doesn't have to lie
Wasn’t that big of a hole. Maybe to their perspective I assume?
Do we bury the shoebox 6 feet deep under or will 6 inches do?
This thread makes me sad.
Make a new thread then
so what you're saying is,
in the end,
she fell short
>an ardent supporter of everything I did in my career
That’s what you say about your dead wife?
Warwick is a massive narcissist.
That struck me as a bit odd too.
He used her just like he used the high chair at the dinner table. An accessory to further his own needs.
she looks like Amy rolloff
waxxed and crusted?
>short life.
OP, you bastard.
Imagine being Ricky Gervais on the set of Extras, knowing that little troll is waddling around like a real human instead of being consigned to his cage like the freak he is. He insisted on having a normal woman play the role of his "wife" rather than the strange homunculus that shares his bed every night. You feel equal parts pity and rage knowing that this poor woman will forever be mistaken in real life for "that goblin's prostitute". But you know you have a fight scene coming. A fight? Could it really be called a fight? The stage directions say that you accidentally knee him in the face. For a moment, you stop to think... maybe you can lose you balance when making the move? Maybe you can overcorrect it, "misjudge" the distance, and plant your knee onto his deformed skull, punching his crooked nose into his black little brain, ending him for good. And who would blame you? The BBC? The public? They're as sick of that little creature as you are.
The director calls "action".
Imagine seeing Warwick Davis shopping at the mall before Christmas. You run into him on the third floor, carrying dozens of bags that are far too heavy for his stubby little arms and puny fingers. He's struggling, sweat is pouring off his deformed little forehead as he tries to get his gifts home for his family. You feel the rage build up in you, looking at this decrepit little gnome pulling all these bags, making little grunts in his stupid little high pitched voice. Unconsciously, you find yourself striding towards him, with venomous intent in your eyes. He catches sight of you approaching, his tiny freak head lifts slightly, you can see the fear in his eyes like a zebra looking at a lion on the hunt. In an instant, you grab him by his tiny legs and begin walking over to the balcony that overlooks the mall floor, Warwick too weak to fight back, only whimpering. Three floors up is a good height to a human being, but to this imp? It might as well be the Grand Canyon. You lift him over your head like a sack of potatoes and you toss the little midge over the edge, and you hear his goofy high pitched yelps as he falls. He smacks his head off a cupcake kiosk, his tiny brains splattered all over a group of Chinese tourists like a Jackson Pollock painting, the elves from the nearby Santa Claus chair rush over, thinking one of their own has committed suicide again. In this moment, you feel triumph.
Midge