It has been proven a dozen of these threads ago that the reason for it is bad liver. Too much fats and oils get left out unprocessed making the shit so gooey. Less fat diet, lay off the boose for a time and get a prescribed medicine to cleanse the liver.
If you have IBS or something similar it doesn't matter what you eat. Sometimes your body is just going to frick with you and there's nothing you can do about it.
There is literally nothing wrong with high fat diets.
That is nonsense from sugar industry funded studies who tried to pretend that it was fat in food that made you fat and not the sugar.
>There is literally nothing wrong with high fat diets.
You're a fricking moron.
Fats are lipid chains. Lipids are the easiest way to oxidize your body; oxydizing your body is a bad thing, that leads to free radicals/cancer/bad translation of RNA/DNA when you divide your cells.
Fricking moron.
AVOID SEED OILS (omega 6). That is all. But don't listen to this moron, high fat is still bad for you, and if you're going to go high fat, all the fat should come from Omega 3/good fatty acids from fish, avocados or beef (and try and eat some collagen with it; dont buy aftermarket collagen, it won't make it past your stomach acid).
>dont buy aftermarket collagen, it won't make it past your stomach acid
The frick is that supposed to mean? It's food, it's not supposed to "make it past" your stomach.
You're clearly uneducated if you don't know basics of stomach acid and how it affects bioavailability and digestion. That's why the best probiotics are raw or those pills that are designed to make it past stomach acid into the small intestines.
8 months ago
Anonymous
>probiotics
Do you even understand what probiotics are? They're live bacteria that need to survive your stomach in order to make it to the lower intestine where they're beneficial. They're not fricking food.
This guy really thinks that collagen powder is a probiotic that gets destroyed by the digestive process.
8 months ago
Anonymous
I think you have literacy problems. Go back, reread, in context. Probiotics are live bacteria. Live bacteria do not like the acidity of our stomach.
8 months ago
Anonymous
>Probiotics are live bacteria. Live bacteria do not like the acidity of our stomach.
Yes, that is literally what I just said to you. Thanks for repeating it, I guess?
>Go back, reread, in context.
Ok, I read this again
>There is literally nothing wrong with high fat diets.
You're a fricking moron.
Fats are lipid chains. Lipids are the easiest way to oxidize your body; oxydizing your body is a bad thing, that leads to free radicals/cancer/bad translation of RNA/DNA when you divide your cells.
Fricking moron.
AVOID SEED OILS (omega 6). That is all. But don't listen to this moron, high fat is still bad for you, and if you're going to go high fat, all the fat should come from Omega 3/good fatty acids from fish, avocados or beef (and try and eat some collagen with it; dont buy aftermarket collagen, it won't make it past your stomach acid).
t. family of doctors
>dont buy aftermarket collagen, it won't make it past your stomach acid
and it's still just as moronic as the first time I read it. What's step two?
8 months ago
Anonymous
>Polish
Even worse.
You lot haven't done shit since Vienna.
>dont buy aftermarket collagen, it won't make it past your stomach acid
The frick is that supposed to mean? It's food, it's not supposed to "make it past" your stomach.
If you have a good diet you only need to wipe once to verify there is no shit. I'm perpetually confused what people are eating that they need a fricking waterpick for their ass to feel clean.
>shoot water on ass >still have to wipe >shitty sloppy toilet paper >potential swamp ass
nah
How do you people think a bidet works?
Your butthole gets wet and clean.
You pat dry with toilet paper.
It's cleaner, easier, and uses a fraction of the toiler paper regular wiping would.
You end up dry.
You guys are really reaching for imaginary bidet consequences to be paranoid about.
Why is this such a common cope? Your anus exists for literally one reason: to have shit passing through it on a daily basis. Keep it reasonably clean, sure, but holding it to the same standards as your hands is moronic.
Dude Americans are absolutely moronic. I say this as an American. Swamp ass is a result of your ass not being clean. When you shower do you seriously not rinse out your ass? Do you get swamp ass after cleaning your ass in the shower? The answer is no because you have no poop particles in your ass anymore. It's the exact same shit with a bidet. Bidets make your ass as clean as the shower does.
that's not how you're supposed to use a bidet, you moron.
First you clean you butthole with toilet paper, like you would normally do. When it looks "clean", you splash water on it to wash it thoroughly. On a real bidet you can even use soap, and then rinse. it's something you do in addition to toilet paper, when you have finished with toilet paper.
It's usually something you only do when you take a crap at home, so you have towels there to pat your ass dry afterwards.
>have towels there to pat your ass dry afterwards
Fricking disgusting and makes the entire shitting process a real faff.
Just sort your life out and have cleaner shits.
>whats the problem
You've turned a 3 minute shit into a 5 minute job with extra laundry for yourself to do later when you could've achieved the same outcome with a piece of toilet paper and some spit.
8 months ago
Anonymous
>dude why wasting 5 minutes to take a shower when you could just spray some deodorant
unwashed ass is gross, and it's not like you take a shit 5 times a day. You're probably unemployed, so time shouldn't be that important to you.
8 months ago
Anonymous
If your ass is really dirty after a shit then you have lifestyle issues.
Water blasts all the particles. You wipe once to dry. The end. Try wet wipes sometime; see how much you miss and walk around with all day using dry alone. I don't know how people are okay with it.
depends on context
most of the time someone just means a hot sweaty ass (keep in mind the US is hotter and more humid than most of Europe north of Italy). One could also get it through rigorous exercise.
if severe enough it could soak through your underwear and pants
It does not necessarily/normally involve fecal matter.
in this context however, they appear to be referring to the above thats also smeared in shit, presumably
t. American that has used and heard the term
He literally just had not finished shitting.
He needed to squeeze the last drop out.
If you don't have 80% ghosties you need to sort your lifestyle out anyway, both diet & exercise..
Why have a bidet when you can just spit on a folder bit of toilet paper and dab where necessary?
Fricking double digit IQ moron trying to outsource your cleanliness to tech.
I envy those that can get ghost poops. It's a sign of excellent colon health and general health too. What does exercise do in giving ghost poops though?
Squats/running/walking help with shit shaping and maximise digestion.
I also have a meal that 100% gives me ghost shits which is naan bread + chicken korma.
It just works.
My body is so fricked no mattee what i eat i have messy shits and it takes me an hour every morning and I'm not constipated either. Mt body is fricked up. Consequences of a decade of fast food and zero exercise.
>decade of fast food and zero exercise.
Actually winced when I read this. I've seen addicts like this before and it isn't pretty.
8 months ago
Anonymous
You have no idea the damage sitting infront of a computer 12h a day eating fast food and sugar without moving does to a human being. It's over for me. Exercise is just as important as diet I've learned.
8 months ago
Anonymous
>It's over for me
It is and it isn't anon. You can change. You just won't because addicts don't want to change.
You need to reset mate.
If you can manage it go a week without eating more than once a day.
Give your digestive system a chance to recover.
Like imagine if you were working on a factory line screwing bolts and the pace was beyond what you can handle, a lot of those bolts will come out loose.
8 months ago
Anonymous
I can do omad no problem. Infact i ate weetabix and then one meal in the afternoon consisting of chicken and veggies for 1.5 months earlier this year. It helped but i have more issues now. Feels like my muscles are weak and fricked yo from not using them. Doctors have no idea why.
8 months ago
Anonymous
>do omad no problem >ate weetabix and then one meal in the afternoon
That's two meals bro. >muscles are weak
You need more protein and exercise to maintain your muscle mass because the body likes to eat muscle as well as fat when you're in a calorie deficit.
Also your body needs time to adapt to having to burn bodyfat instead of just food so you will feel some weakness for a few days.
Swimming. Whenever I go swimming I get a ghoster. Also if I'm dehydrated from drinking alcohol the night before, I get a ghost poop, but it feels like i'm giving birth pushing that dehydrated turd out.
>whenever I go swimming I get a ghoster
It's the leg movements I'm telling ya.
People forget that our ancestors walked an absolute shit ton because they were hunter-gatherers.
Our digestive systems are designed around leg movement.
Dogs also have dodgy shits when they don't get enough running.
>What does exercise do in giving ghost poops though?
Exercise just does a whole lot of good in all aspects of life.
It's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit.
I only poop at work and I take as long as absolutely possible and usually I just finish and don't flush and I'll just wipe and stare at myself in the mirror for like 15 minutes.
I only poop at work and I take as long as absolutely possible and usually I just finish and don't flush and I'll just wipe and stare at myself in the mirror for like 15 minutes.
I bought one. When I try to dry myself with toilet paper it disintigrates and gets stuck all over my ass. When I looked up solutions, people were saying they own tiny reusable cloths they dry their ads with.
I don't use the bidet anymore
>buy new house in 2020 >already had a bidet installed in the master bathroom >give it a try >love it >looooooove it >use it all the time even if im just pissing ill sit down for the anal stimulation >become addicted to the anal stimualtion >start using dildos, buttplugs, the works >now can only ejaculate with anal stimulation
Don't do this.
when I stayed in a hotel near the vatican with my girlfriend's family her little brother discovered the bidet and would spend upwards of 45 minutes taking a shit with weird zoomer videos playing over the noise of the bidet running at max flow (these ones were in an old building and had a normal faucet style tap handle so you could control how much water shot at your ass)
when I stayed in a hotel near the vatican with my girlfriend's family her little brother discovered the bidet and would spend upwards of 45 minutes taking a shit with weird zoomer videos playing over the noise of the bidet running at max flow (these ones were in an old building and had a normal faucet style tap handle so you could control how much water shot at your ass)
extremely suspect
>can't clean their asses properly without turning gay
Absolute state of Americans
flouride doesn't make you gay, it makes you dumb, fluoride lowers iq one std deviation in what was recently considered safe amounts in american water supplies
Atrazine makes your endocrine system frick itself and it makes frogs change genders from male to female and have working child bearing lady parts
also if you care here is one fairly simple study based on several other studies, not sure about the accuracy but there's at least a reasonable suggestion that there's a definite negative correlation
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5285601/
This actually works but goddamn is it disgusting. Mix it with water and it creates a slime ball. Mix it with food and it's like everything is covered in brown cum. I learned to just drink the slimeball so my IBS would clear up but frick I hate it so much.
put it in a wide open bottle with a cup of water and shake the shit out of it before drinking, I take it with 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar and it's foul but healthy!
I used to buy the powdered version, but I bought whole husks last time and I saw hairs, bits of plastic and little dead beetles. This shit comes from India and it's probably full of lead too.
americans dont even touch their buttholes in the shower. they dont apply soap at all. they just let the shower water run down the crack and hope it's good enough.
putting your hand in your ass craci to fricking wash it makes them feel weirded out. PROPERLY washing your butthole is weird so they just walk around with shit smeared buttholes every single day.
Nah I get in there son and I can't imagine I'm the only one. People have such strange theories on America despite it being fricking huge and comprised of people from all over the world
I don't use soap but I do turn the showerhead to bedae mode and jet stream water into my ass crack. Feels kinda gay but worth it since I don't get rashes anymore.
I'm American. I have one of these and a bidet. Before I take a shower, I prewash my butthole with the bidet so i can soap up without getting ass sweat on my hand. Then I rinse off with the jet setting on pic related.
>they dont apply soap at all.
You are are not supposed to put soap on your butthole. It washes away the protective lining. Your butthole becomes cracked and painful, like your lips when they are too dry..
americans dont even touch their buttholes in the shower. they dont apply soap at all. they just let the shower water run down the crack and hope it's good enough.
putting your hand in your ass craci to fricking wash it makes them feel weirded out. PROPERLY washing your butthole is weird so they just walk around with shit smeared buttholes every single day.
They prefer cutting a part of their dick than to actually clean it, let that sink in.
In the scenario where you don't have a bidet, you're supposed to take a damp bit of toilet paper (or paper towel if you're outside of your home), take your shit, wipe with the dry paper, then wipe with the wet paper, then another different dry paper to clean off the wet residue.
If you don't do that, you will leave shit on your ass and that makes you disgusting.
this only works with good toilet paper. if you're in a public bathroom the toilet paper is thin as frick, even if you wad it up, and basically becomes paper mache. you just end up with a bunch of wet toilet paper on/around your butthole
I drink one serving of Metamucil a day, and I could just drop my trousers and shit in your front lawn like a dog, pull up my pants, and walk away. There hasn't been one singular fecal flake on the toilet paper or wet wipe in over two years. My ass is like a fricking Ken doll. I have the cleanest butthole in the room, 100% of the time. You are all filthy assed plebs. Take muce.
I have taken a shower and washed myself with soap immediately after taking a shit my entire life except a couple times when I was camping. I call the experience shit cause I felt like hazardous waste material walking around for two days only wiping with toilet paper and baby wipes.
> do you remember this always happening?
yes, but this also happens to everyone. my prostate is fine. you never get 100% of the shit when you're wiping. there's still some right on the inside of the anus. that comes out slowly as you go about your day and flex your sphincter
I don't eat with my ass, I do not make a habit of touching my ass before I eat, only literal homosexuals touch ass enough for there to be sanitary concerns.
Imma teach yall how to wipe, does require self rape unfortunately. Get some top and fold it into a sqaure, place the middle of this tp square onto your anus and with your finger push in the tp into your anus, kinda wiggle your finger the grab the backside of the tp and then proceed to wipe, repeat, and your anus is as clean as it can with tp alone.
i have this problem now. i constantly leave skidmarks in my underpants and i feel like feces "seeps" out lil by little throughout the day. i chalk it up to being 400+lbs so it's not that easy for me to reach and wipe properly after i boom boom
I genuinely dont understand how some people can just take a shit and then go about their day without washing their butthole, knowing full well that their ass is covered in shit particles
You only life up slightly from the seat and bend forward. It's not really standing up, more just tilting so you can wipe from behind rather than reaching under your dick and pulling the shit forward. I think most people would consider it a form of sitting down but women like to pretend men just stand straight up and walk across the room before stringing floss between their cheeks and clickbait authors know it'll get views.
By "standing up" they just mean leaning to the side basically
Nah. I stand all the fricking way up off the seat, then start wiping. I do crouch back down a little to get in there, but in no terms do I want any part of the toilet to be in the way of my wiping.
I might be a foot or two away from the thing while I wipe, just for elbow room.
It took me a while to understand how anyone even could wipe sitting down.
Real janitors know to simply clean it up before mopping (you can give the dust bin and broom garbage-bag condoms if you need, or just get your gloves) and then mop up the scene after it practically looks non-shitted anyway.
Moping is to floors as washing hands is to hands. For instance, if you were a janitor and your hands were full of a literal handful of shit, you would dispose of that shit before washing your hands. You would not simply start smushing your hands together and then go for the soap dispenser. By the time you are washing your hands with soap they are already 90%+ shit free, but that remaining 10%- is really important to you so you agitate your skin in warm sudsy water to sanitize.
No one respects janitors, so if they have already lost the "veteran janitor guy" (you know the type) then they just throw some kid into it with instructions from HR built of guidance from the companies that provide the business with certain signage and safety materials (and likely/sometimes, insurance) and of course said company is concerned first and foremost with not being sued for advice it has given your business, and so that poor random kid getting hired as a janitor gets the literal SANITATION ENGINEER shtick complete with paperwork and safety courses and no one tells him what you should REALLY do if someone lays a big wet bloody shit that has splashed everywhere from the water basin to the back wall behind the toilet to the base of the trash bin several feet away. His OSHA bullshit says "here's what you do to not get other people sued" and off he goes for historically less than $12/hr
Mine is bright red sometimes. Slight pain above anus. Polyps or hemorrhoids, but not painful hardly at all. It heals on its own. I think dehydration is playing a role plus time of year.
Recommendation for this >2 day fast 3 or 4 days are better
During this time >hydrate with recommended daily water intake >also take either salt pills or sugar free Gatorade or electrolyte mix >Do not sit except the bare minimum >when you do make sure it's on your bed or something softer than your bed
If you did that for 2 days, it might be gone. If it's not, try the full 4. If you do the full 4 your rectum should be crystal clear. I'm not saying change your lifestyle either. Just a short term fix.
Intermittent Alternate Day Fasting is actually really good to run for a few months or a year if you want to heal your gut. But I'm assuming you're only interested in the surface level anus.
Wiping in an inefficient method of butthole feces control. You should wash instead. I keep a bucket of water with a rag in it by my toilet for this reason
You think Aubrey Plaza probably had a crush on Chris Pratt but he's too Christian to put up with her weird larpy edgy personality so it never worked out?
I know for a fact that the toilet paper situation here in America is causing personality disorders and mental illness. People are walking around with fricking poop on them all day. It’s psychotic.
Problem is, the harder you wipe, the deeper you push. You’re essentially wiping toilet paper against your colon. It will always have something on there. If not shit then bile
>clean tp
The term you are looking for is unused TP. TP is not sanitary. A roll of paper sitting next to a toilet absorbs everything in the air of the bathroom. Piss. Shit. Possibly mold. All the airborne particles exist around the toilet in near perpetuity. Running your tongue on paper made in a non food grade factory that has been sitting next to a toilet your father just had a diarrhea escapade an hour ago... It's not a smart thing to do.
Even if you butthole looks clean after taking a shit doesn't mean it actually is.
You guys are like when homosexuals say "poop is not actually stored in the rectum, it just passes through it, so it's totally not gross to have anal sex"
I have this problem after I had extensive surgery on my bile ducts so my poop now sometimes comes out super sticky if I don't eat a bunch of fiber. Usually takes 7 to 10 full wipes.
How many folds do you guys use with your TP? I'm a six fold man myself. Need the support.
2 or 3 but i have a bidet, so my butthole is clean before i wipe
>shoot water on ass >still have to wipe >shitty sloppy toilet paper >potential swamp ass
nah
the bidet washes off the shit around your butthole into the toilet. if you did a good job, your butthole ends up clean and you just use the TP to dry off basically.
single fold for reinforcement but I finger my ass with the tp
not for gay reasons, but I was abused as a child every time I made a mess and now I'm terrified of missing shit when I wipe so I get all up in there to the point where I bleed
then I take a shower and wash with soap repeatedly
The other day when I was wiping my ass I accidentally got some shit on my thumb. Didn’t notice it until hours later. Made me think how lucky I am to be an American. Most countries outside of the US don’t even get toilet paper. They just have to walk around with shit all over their hands 24/7. I’d be fricking pissed off at our country too.
>wipe anus once poop >wipe anus twice almost gone >wipe anus thrice small amount of poop and fresh blood from ripped skin >now if I wipe more I’ll tear more up but I don’t I’ll have shit in my ass
At this point I just jump in the shower after pooping because it’s not worth the paper and bleeding to wipe
the trick is once done shitting, HNNNNNG with all your might and squeeze your bowels like a tube of toothpaste because there are still tiny shits up there
You gottie squeeze the outliers away before beginning the wipening
>not fingering your arse with toilet paper for a perfect clean >not taste testing the residue to be sure of health >not enlarging your anus with a dildo for easier shits
It’s pre-excrementation. If I have to shit before I know it’s all coming out, some of it will suck back into my butthole and I’ll have to wipe almost until I bleed. And I know I’m just gonna have to wipe my ass throughout the day because it leaks out. Hemmy central, my butthole is.
Hey man I'm selling this house to one of those chinese real estate people that offer you like 1.5x market value to move out in like 2 months, it's their problem.
How are you disgusting fricks not spreading dysentery like a medieval army during a 2 year siege?
I have an butthole like a greek werewolf but I stopped all that bits of paper nonsense by using the bidet first, dabbing the first paper wad with very little motion to stop it from tearing or getting caught in the ass hairs, and then wiping the clean dry butthole.
If only there was a common household device that could wet objects in customizable amounts... a manually activated water dispenser of some kind... hmm...
Anon Anonymous' advanced course in optimal wiping efficiency and efficacy is not open to the fat public and fat fricks who find the simple act of standing once difficult need not apply - seated wipers also need not apply; though that is redundant since seated wipers are fat (and gay).
I remember a podcast where a black guy shitted on a bunch of toilet paper raw and he said he was doing it his whole life and that was how you were supposed to do things.
I remember a Radio Bam episode talking about how every time they went to wipe, it was like a crayon was streaking the paper. Also they made fun of Dunn going to the toilet room solely to wipe his ass
if you're gonna drink alcohol, do hard liquor, boys. or else you'll get the sticky poops.
Why does every bidet user need to have a sparkling, sanitized butthole. If you wipe and the paper doesnt have shit then thats enough. What are you doing all day where your butthole needs to be sparkling clean? Farts have shit particle, do you wash your ass when your fart too?
There's a subset of colons that won't co-operate the way they're supposed to. I compare it to service animals. There are a lot of people who need them, and others who just want to feel special because they're lonely.
Hydration issue
It has been proven a dozen of these threads ago that the reason for it is bad liver. Too much fats and oils get left out unprocessed making the shit so gooey. Less fat diet, lay off the boose for a time and get a prescribed medicine to cleanse the liver.
If you have IBS or something similar it doesn't matter what you eat. Sometimes your body is just going to frick with you and there's nothing you can do about it.
Did a high fat low carb diet once and my turds were dry as a rock. I have doubts with your conclusion.
You likely weren't drinking enough water, nor getting enough soluble fiber.
>the low fat meme being pushed in the current year
There is literally nothing wrong with high fat diets.
That is nonsense from sugar industry funded studies who tried to pretend that it was fat in food that made you fat and not the sugar.
Stop noticing low fat food labels have disgustingly high amounts of sugar.
>There is literally nothing wrong with high fat diets.
You're a fricking moron.
Fats are lipid chains. Lipids are the easiest way to oxidize your body; oxydizing your body is a bad thing, that leads to free radicals/cancer/bad translation of RNA/DNA when you divide your cells.
Fricking moron.
AVOID SEED OILS (omega 6). That is all. But don't listen to this moron, high fat is still bad for you, and if you're going to go high fat, all the fat should come from Omega 3/good fatty acids from fish, avocados or beef (and try and eat some collagen with it; dont buy aftermarket collagen, it won't make it past your stomach acid).
t. family of doctors
>t family of doctors
I immediately disregard the opinions of israelites & Asians.
We're Dutch/Polish.
You're clearly uneducated if you don't know basics of stomach acid and how it affects bioavailability and digestion. That's why the best probiotics are raw or those pills that are designed to make it past stomach acid into the small intestines.
>probiotics
Do you even understand what probiotics are? They're live bacteria that need to survive your stomach in order to make it to the lower intestine where they're beneficial. They're not fricking food.
This guy really thinks that collagen powder is a probiotic that gets destroyed by the digestive process.
I think you have literacy problems. Go back, reread, in context. Probiotics are live bacteria. Live bacteria do not like the acidity of our stomach.
>Probiotics are live bacteria. Live bacteria do not like the acidity of our stomach.
Yes, that is literally what I just said to you. Thanks for repeating it, I guess?
>Go back, reread, in context.
Ok, I read this again
>dont buy aftermarket collagen, it won't make it past your stomach acid
and it's still just as moronic as the first time I read it. What's step two?
>Polish
Even worse.
You lot haven't done shit since Vienna.
>dont buy aftermarket collagen, it won't make it past your stomach acid
The frick is that supposed to mean? It's food, it's not supposed to "make it past" your stomach.
I have bunch of collagen pills in a big bottle labeled Collagen. Does that count as aftermarket?
What about coconut oil? Is that okay? I heard that eating a tablespoon or something of coconut oil everyday is good for your heart/brain/health
>try and eat some collagen with it; dont buy aftermarket collagen
how do i distinguish?
yeah it's good, but remarkably fatty. olive oil might be safer if you're not gonna measure properly
>fat is le bad
>~~*prescription medication*~~
have a nice day.
Yes. He probably only knows to wipe in a straight line. Sometimes you need a circular scrubbing wipe to clean up the last bit.
I just wipe once, everything that stayed there deserves to be there for perseverance
survival of the shittest
KEK
kek
Buy a bidet addition to your toilet for <50 bucks, it's a gamechanger.
Yes, moisture is exactly what I want to introduce to my warm bacteria-filled crevice.
You still have to wipe, but only one or two sheets to get the remaining shit and the wetness from your ass.
Try it.
If you have a good diet you only need to wipe once to verify there is no shit. I'm perpetually confused what people are eating that they need a fricking waterpick for their ass to feel clean.
do you think mold and fungus are gonna develop along your butthole, anon? do you shower once a year?
>do you think mold and fungus are gonna develop along your butthole, anon?
what else?
now answer the second part please
Last time I showered was May and I'm completely fine
I can't fathom your shitty smell
How do you people think a bidet works?
Your butthole gets wet and clean.
You pat dry with toilet paper.
It's cleaner, easier, and uses a fraction of the toiler paper regular wiping would.
You end up dry.
You guys are really reaching for imaginary bidet consequences to be paranoid about.
>damn, I got shit all over my hands
>should I rinse them off with water? nah, better smear it around with dry paper instead.
Why is this such a common cope? Your anus exists for literally one reason: to have shit passing through it on a daily basis. Keep it reasonably clean, sure, but holding it to the same standards as your hands is moronic.
Why are you shitting on your hands?
your butthole already has a ton of moisture and bacteria in it. a bidet isnt going to do anything about that
what it will do is powerwash the shit from your butthole so less bacteria grows around your butthole
its already moist (because of the shit)
portable bidet is under 9 dollars and it's got more range, changed my entire ass game
you can squat under a tap for free
>shoot water on ass
>still have to wipe
>shitty sloppy toilet paper
>potential swamp ass
nah
Dude Americans are absolutely moronic. I say this as an American. Swamp ass is a result of your ass not being clean. When you shower do you seriously not rinse out your ass? Do you get swamp ass after cleaning your ass in the shower? The answer is no because you have no poop particles in your ass anymore. It's the exact same shit with a bidet. Bidets make your ass as clean as the shower does.
We get swamp ass because some of us work outside and exert more effort than euros who draw hentai girl dicks all day.
youve never used a bidet
t. American
that's not how you're supposed to use a bidet, you moron.
First you clean you butthole with toilet paper, like you would normally do. When it looks "clean", you splash water on it to wash it thoroughly. On a real bidet you can even use soap, and then rinse. it's something you do in addition to toilet paper, when you have finished with toilet paper.
It's usually something you only do when you take a crap at home, so you have towels there to pat your ass dry afterwards.
>have towels there to pat your ass dry afterwards
Fricking disgusting and makes the entire shitting process a real faff.
Just sort your life out and have cleaner shits.
At that point your ass is very clean, so what's the problem? Then you throw the towel in the dirty laundry
>whats the problem
You've turned a 3 minute shit into a 5 minute job with extra laundry for yourself to do later when you could've achieved the same outcome with a piece of toilet paper and some spit.
>dude why wasting 5 minutes to take a shower when you could just spray some deodorant
unwashed ass is gross, and it's not like you take a shit 5 times a day. You're probably unemployed, so time shouldn't be that important to you.
If your ass is really dirty after a shit then you have lifestyle issues.
I thought all of those things but didnt conclude "nah" I'll tell ya what
Water blasts all the particles. You wipe once to dry. The end. Try wet wipes sometime; see how much you miss and walk around with all day using dry alone. I don't know how people are okay with it.
Non-american here, what is swamp ass?
depends on context
most of the time someone just means a hot sweaty ass (keep in mind the US is hotter and more humid than most of Europe north of Italy). One could also get it through rigorous exercise.
if severe enough it could soak through your underwear and pants
It does not necessarily/normally involve fecal matter.
in this context however, they appear to be referring to the above thats also smeared in shit, presumably
t. American that has used and heard the term
He literally just had not finished shitting.
He needed to squeeze the last drop out.
If you don't have 80% ghosties you need to sort your lifestyle out anyway, both diet & exercise..
Why have a bidet when you can just spit on a folder bit of toilet paper and dab where necessary?
Fricking double digit IQ moron trying to outsource your cleanliness to tech.
>you can just spit on a folder bit of toilet paper and dab where necessary
Probably because I don't want to give myself Aids.
How in the fricking world would that give you aids?
I said for you to spit on the paper not your African manservant.
Well he just finished swallowing a bunch of pozzed semen. He doesn't want it to go near the anus that would be risky.
I envy those that can get ghost poops. It's a sign of excellent colon health and general health too. What does exercise do in giving ghost poops though?
Squats/running/walking help with shit shaping and maximise digestion.
I also have a meal that 100% gives me ghost shits which is naan bread + chicken korma.
It just works.
>shit shaping
kek
It's massively underrated.
If you're having trouble shitting getting off the loo and doing some squats will help you squeeze the rest out too.
My body is so fricked no mattee what i eat i have messy shits and it takes me an hour every morning and I'm not constipated either. Mt body is fricked up. Consequences of a decade of fast food and zero exercise.
>decade of fast food and zero exercise.
Actually winced when I read this. I've seen addicts like this before and it isn't pretty.
You have no idea the damage sitting infront of a computer 12h a day eating fast food and sugar without moving does to a human being. It's over for me. Exercise is just as important as diet I've learned.
>It's over for me
It is and it isn't anon. You can change. You just won't because addicts don't want to change.
You need to reset mate.
If you can manage it go a week without eating more than once a day.
Give your digestive system a chance to recover.
Like imagine if you were working on a factory line screwing bolts and the pace was beyond what you can handle, a lot of those bolts will come out loose.
I can do omad no problem. Infact i ate weetabix and then one meal in the afternoon consisting of chicken and veggies for 1.5 months earlier this year. It helped but i have more issues now. Feels like my muscles are weak and fricked yo from not using them. Doctors have no idea why.
>do omad no problem
>ate weetabix and then one meal in the afternoon
That's two meals bro.
>muscles are weak
You need more protein and exercise to maintain your muscle mass because the body likes to eat muscle as well as fat when you're in a calorie deficit.
Also your body needs time to adapt to having to burn bodyfat instead of just food so you will feel some weakness for a few days.
Just change your diet and you'll be fine
Exercise is not necessary for health unless you're a fat c**t
>ghost poops
QRD???
poop that doesn't leave anything to wipe up, aka a normal healthy poop
Swimming. Whenever I go swimming I get a ghoster. Also if I'm dehydrated from drinking alcohol the night before, I get a ghost poop, but it feels like i'm giving birth pushing that dehydrated turd out.
>whenever I go swimming I get a ghoster
It's the leg movements I'm telling ya.
People forget that our ancestors walked an absolute shit ton because they were hunter-gatherers.
Our digestive systems are designed around leg movement.
Dogs also have dodgy shits when they don't get enough running.
Legs and I think your abdominal muscles get more work swimming than walking/jogging.
Hiking works your obliques very well and if it involves a lot of climbing over rough terrain you do get some abdominal action in there too.
>What does exercise do in giving ghost poops though?
Exercise just does a whole lot of good in all aspects of life.
It's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit.
I only poop at work and I take as long as absolutely possible and usually I just finish and don't flush and I'll just wipe and stare at myself in the mirror for like 15 minutes.
>not taking phone into work toilet, sitting on it with the lid down and just scrolling on phone for 20 minutes
get on my level
*stands in your path*
Jokes on them, I squat on toilets and that angle will just make it more comfortable.
get out of here chinaman
Someone needs to invent a toilet seat pad that will re-elivate the seat. Then all you have to do is snuggle one in with a briefcase.
I bought one. When I try to dry myself with toilet paper it disintigrates and gets stuck all over my ass. When I looked up solutions, people were saying they own tiny reusable cloths they dry their ads with.
I don't use the bidet anymore
How fricking fat are you?
>buy new house in 2020
>already had a bidet installed in the master bathroom
>give it a try
>love it
>looooooove it
>use it all the time even if im just pissing ill sit down for the anal stimulation
>become addicted to the anal stimualtion
>start using dildos, buttplugs, the works
>now can only ejaculate with anal stimulation
Don't do this.
when I stayed in a hotel near the vatican with my girlfriend's family her little brother discovered the bidet and would spend upwards of 45 minutes taking a shit with weird zoomer videos playing over the noise of the bidet running at max flow (these ones were in an old building and had a normal faucet style tap handle so you could control how much water shot at your ass)
extremely suspect
>can't clean their asses properly without turning gay
Absolute state of Americans
he's vietnamese but sure
Prostate stimulation isn't gay. Attraction to the same gender is what makes a person gay.
It's the fluorides in the water.
flouride doesn't make you gay, it makes you dumb, fluoride lowers iq one std deviation in what was recently considered safe amounts in american water supplies
Atrazine makes your endocrine system frick itself and it makes frogs change genders from male to female and have working child bearing lady parts
Fluoride makes you dumb enough to watch Tik Tok which turns you gay.
also if you care here is one fairly simple study based on several other studies, not sure about the accuracy but there's at least a reasonable suggestion that there's a definite negative correlation
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5285601/
Fiber. The last bit was still inside and he couldn't push it out. Metamucil is a game changer.
>Metamucil is a game changer.
Overpriced shit, go straight to the source, 2 scoops of psyllium husk twice a day will fix everyone up
This actually works but goddamn is it disgusting. Mix it with water and it creates a slime ball. Mix it with food and it's like everything is covered in brown cum. I learned to just drink the slimeball so my IBS would clear up but frick I hate it so much.
put it in a wide open bottle with a cup of water and shake the shit out of it before drinking, I take it with 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar and it's foul but healthy!
I used to buy the powdered version, but I bought whole husks last time and I saw hairs, bits of plastic and little dead beetles. This shit comes from India and it's probably full of lead too.
>Metamucil
You didn't shit the turd.
The problem with fiber is that too much can be as bad as too little.
that's... a problem with anything. butt munch
I literally just stopped wiping. It's a waste of time if you eat properly
same. I even stopped taking my pants off to shit. it's very liberating and Walmart doesn't seem to have an issue with me as a customer
You joke but I literally did this in Publix last month, no one batted an eye, fricking americans
Go away DSP
I have not wiped in years since i just poop at home around the same time daily.
I just shower after and stop the left over poo bits down the drain.
>americans dont wash their buttholes after literally passing actual shit (feces) through them
americans dont even touch their buttholes in the shower. they dont apply soap at all. they just let the shower water run down the crack and hope it's good enough.
putting your hand in your ass craci to fricking wash it makes them feel weirded out. PROPERLY washing your butthole is weird so they just walk around with shit smeared buttholes every single day.
>wake up
>think about buttholes in america
i don't think i've ever once thought about what another country regularly does with their anus but apparently i'm the deranged one, not you
Nah I get in there son and I can't imagine I'm the only one. People have such strange theories on America despite it being fricking huge and comprised of people from all over the world
not a theory. american said it.
I don't use soap but I do turn the showerhead to bedae mode and jet stream water into my ass crack. Feels kinda gay but worth it since I don't get rashes anymore.
*Black folk
I'm American. I have one of these and a bidet. Before I take a shower, I prewash my butthole with the bidet so i can soap up without getting ass sweat on my hand. Then I rinse off with the jet setting on pic related.
>euro hours
>they dont apply soap at all.
You are are not supposed to put soap on your butthole. It washes away the protective lining. Your butthole becomes cracked and painful, like your lips when they are too dry..
They prefer cutting a part of their dick than to actually clean it, let that sink in.
Why hasn't medical science developed anal circumcision to eliminate skid marks?
In the scenario where you don't have a bidet, you're supposed to take a damp bit of toilet paper (or paper towel if you're outside of your home), take your shit, wipe with the dry paper, then wipe with the wet paper, then another different dry paper to clean off the wet residue.
If you don't do that, you will leave shit on your ass and that makes you disgusting.
Trying this taught me that it is stupid. Your ass is filled with disintegrated tissue.
this only works with good toilet paper. if you're in a public bathroom the toilet paper is thin as frick, even if you wad it up, and basically becomes paper mache. you just end up with a bunch of wet toilet paper on/around your butthole
Stop eating goyslop you fricking subhumans
I can't mcdonald's chicken nuggets are so good.....
>this made normalgays piss and shid and coom from laughter
Frick you Parks and Rec is kino. Much better than the Office and Brooklyn 99
I drink one serving of Metamucil a day, and I could just drop my trousers and shit in your front lawn like a dog, pull up my pants, and walk away. There hasn't been one singular fecal flake on the toilet paper or wet wipe in over two years. My ass is like a fricking Ken doll. I have the cleanest butthole in the room, 100% of the time. You are all filthy assed plebs. Take muce.
I have taken a shower and washed myself with soap immediately after taking a shit my entire life except a couple times when I was camping. I call the experience shit cause I felt like hazardous waste material walking around for two days only wiping with toilet paper and baby wipes.
People generally disgust me.
most people walk around everyday with dirty buttholes but the friction caused from walking around helps them release the shit particles a little bit
yup. this is why after a shit, every time i piss i'll wipe too. the first couple times there's shit there but it eventually stops
excessive dripping could be an enlarged prostate, do you remember this always happening?
> do you remember this always happening?
yes, but this also happens to everyone. my prostate is fine. you never get 100% of the shit when you're wiping. there's still some right on the inside of the anus. that comes out slowly as you go about your day and flex your sphincter
i thought you meant you have excess piss. shit leakage after a piss isnt normal anon and sounds like incontinence
no matter what you do it is highly unlikely you have completely removed every molecule of poop from your butt
also remember that if you smell poop ever that means poop particles are inside your mouth and nose
this only seems to happen when I eat beef, and it doesn't happen every time I eat beef.
>using toilet paper to clean your ass
would you trust a piece of paper tissue to completely remove feces from your hands?
Would you trust a thin stream of water to clean feces off your hands?
yes
I don't eat with my ass, I do not make a habit of touching my ass before I eat, only literal homosexuals touch ass enough for there to be sanitary concerns.
>baby wipes
>label says do not flush
>wipe my ass clean as a whistle
>flush anyway
intelligence issue, and not my problem
Imma teach yall how to wipe, does require self rape unfortunately. Get some top and fold it into a sqaure, place the middle of this tp square onto your anus and with your finger push in the tp into your anus, kinda wiggle your finger the grab the backside of the tp and then proceed to wipe, repeat, and your anus is as clean as it can with tp alone.
i have this problem now. i constantly leave skidmarks in my underpants and i feel like feces "seeps" out lil by little throughout the day. i chalk it up to being 400+lbs so it's not that easy for me to reach and wipe properly after i boom boom
how much do you drink?
>boom boom
your toilet probably sounds a WW2 bomb siren every time it feels you walking towards it
I genuinely dont understand how some people can just take a shit and then go about their day without washing their butthole, knowing full well that their ass is covered in shit particles
Some fun facts - about 49% of people wipe standing up, 48% wipe sitting down, and about 1% doesn't wipe at all
>1% DOESN'T WIPE AT ALL
how do you wipe standing up? Your ass cheeks tighten off the passage to butthole
Not to mention press together thus squishing all the shit into your ass skin.
You only life up slightly from the seat and bend forward. It's not really standing up, more just tilting so you can wipe from behind rather than reaching under your dick and pulling the shit forward. I think most people would consider it a form of sitting down but women like to pretend men just stand straight up and walk across the room before stringing floss between their cheeks and clickbait authors know it'll get views.
Strong doubt. My dick is below average size and I can't easily reach around it to get at my ass while on a toilet seat.
Nah. I stand all the fricking way up off the seat, then start wiping. I do crouch back down a little to get in there, but in no terms do I want any part of the toilet to be in the way of my wiping.
I might be a foot or two away from the thing while I wipe, just for elbow room.
It took me a while to understand how anyone even could wipe sitting down.
By "standing up" they just mean leaning to the side basically
>stand
>lift leg
Real janitors know to simply clean it up before mopping (you can give the dust bin and broom garbage-bag condoms if you need, or just get your gloves) and then mop up the scene after it practically looks non-shitted anyway.
Moping is to floors as washing hands is to hands. For instance, if you were a janitor and your hands were full of a literal handful of shit, you would dispose of that shit before washing your hands. You would not simply start smushing your hands together and then go for the soap dispenser. By the time you are washing your hands with soap they are already 90%+ shit free, but that remaining 10%- is really important to you so you agitate your skin in warm sudsy water to sanitize.
No one respects janitors, so if they have already lost the "veteran janitor guy" (you know the type) then they just throw some kid into it with instructions from HR built of guidance from the companies that provide the business with certain signage and safety materials (and likely/sometimes, insurance) and of course said company is concerned first and foremost with not being sued for advice it has given your business, and so that poor random kid getting hired as a janitor gets the literal SANITATION ENGINEER shtick complete with paperwork and safety courses and no one tells him what you should REALLY do if someone lays a big wet bloody shit that has splashed everywhere from the water basin to the back wall behind the toilet to the base of the trash bin several feet away. His OSHA bullshit says "here's what you do to not get other people sued" and off he goes for historically less than $12/hr
Do Americans actually poop?
nope, they only use the toilet to keep their bare feet in when they're wearing shoes in the house
Mine is bright red sometimes. Slight pain above anus. Polyps or hemorrhoids, but not painful hardly at all. It heals on its own. I think dehydration is playing a role plus time of year.
cancer, you're dead
Recommendation for this
>2 day fast 3 or 4 days are better
During this time
>hydrate with recommended daily water intake
>also take either salt pills or sugar free Gatorade or electrolyte mix
>Do not sit except the bare minimum
>when you do make sure it's on your bed or something softer than your bed
If you did that for 2 days, it might be gone. If it's not, try the full 4. If you do the full 4 your rectum should be crystal clear. I'm not saying change your lifestyle either. Just a short term fix.
Intermittent Alternate Day Fasting is actually really good to run for a few months or a year if you want to heal your gut. But I'm assuming you're only interested in the surface level anus.
I fast a lot, but I think I may not get enough water. Thanks for the tips, I'll verify them with a little more research. Appreciate you, anon.
Wiping in an inefficient method of butthole feces control. You should wash instead. I keep a bucket of water with a rag in it by my toilet for this reason
You think Aubrey Plaza probably had a crush on Chris Pratt but he's too Christian to put up with her weird larpy edgy personality so it never worked out?
Chris would never put up with Audrey's abdl thing
There’s nothing wrong with wearing shoes in the house
I know for a fact that the toilet paper situation here in America is causing personality disorders and mental illness. People are walking around with fricking poop on them all day. It’s psychotic.
Problem is, the harder you wipe, the deeper you push. You’re essentially wiping toilet paper against your colon. It will always have something on there. If not shit then bile
You have to eat fruit too, you can't just count on bottled water for your hydration needs
Modern fruit is not like what our ancestors ate. Most fruits aren't healthy, too much sugar and pesticides.
Best thread on Cinemaphile right now. You wankers are the best.
>not using one of these
I squat over my shower and use the detachable head
acceptable
homie thats a garden hose
When it's in the toilet room it's a toilet hose.
Got a bidet at home and always grab two paper towels and wet one when in public. If dryers only? It's fricking over
How do they clean their butts for porno scenes?
Enema
Jesus. homosexuals are disgusting.
Professionals typically fast and then shove a hose up their ass. Then they deal with water diarrhea-like shit for up to an hour.
rimming or ass to mouth
It's only smells
There's a youtube instructional on how to clean out your butthole before you put a wiener in it.
I'm not even joking, fully uncensored.
I heard Sasha Grey personally licks it out. It's one of those jobs you get off camera once you're done being the actor.
>he doesn't have a diet entirely reliant on Pemmican
If wiping isn't good enough I push up in my but with the tp. Also like other anon in thread say I lick clean tp to use as a wet wipe.
>I lick clean tp to use as a wet wipe.
>like other anon in thread say I lick clean tp to use as a wet wipe
Woah there son I said spit on, not lick.
>clean tp
The term you are looking for is unused TP. TP is not sanitary. A roll of paper sitting next to a toilet absorbs everything in the air of the bathroom. Piss. Shit. Possibly mold. All the airborne particles exist around the toilet in near perpetuity. Running your tongue on paper made in a non food grade factory that has been sitting next to a toilet your father just had a diarrhea escapade an hour ago... It's not a smart thing to do.
>Poop
>Wipe
>Dirty TP, never stops being shitty even after multiple wipes
>Poop again later in the day
>Wipe
>Nothing on paper
>Was it a skill issue?
Yeah, he did a poop but not a full poop. He's just tickling the head of the other poop that was behind the first.
they fricked, didn't they?
STOP TALKING ABOUT HOT SNAKES ANDY
Even if you butthole looks clean after taking a shit doesn't mean it actually is.
You guys are like when homosexuals say "poop is not actually stored in the rectum, it just passes through it, so it's totally not gross to have anal sex"
I got fired from my last job for failing the smell test just because I have a healthy rectum and doesn't smell
Skill issue. Should have bought some stinky ass.
I have this problem after I had extensive surgery on my bile ducts so my poop now sometimes comes out super sticky if I don't eat a bunch of fiber. Usually takes 7 to 10 full wipes.
>Take a shower
>Wipe my ass even if I didn't shit before the shower
am I weird for doing this
always wash your ass in the shower wtf
2 or 3 but i have a bidet, so my butthole is clean before i wipe
the bidet washes off the shit around your butthole into the toilet. if you did a good job, your butthole ends up clean and you just use the TP to dry off basically.
>wash your ass in the shower
how, with the toilet brush?
How many folds do you guys use with your TP? I'm a six fold man myself. Need the support.
single fold for reinforcement but I finger my ass with the tp
not for gay reasons, but I was abused as a child every time I made a mess and now I'm terrified of missing shit when I wipe so I get all up in there to the point where I bleed
then I take a shower and wash with soap repeatedly
Anybody else hate pooping?
Wish I didn't have to fricking do it.
eat spinach sweet potato omelettes and drink green tea and you will love shitting
There's this perfect shit where it's like sort of soft & wet but has full form so it leaves no residue and I love those.
I like to slip a finger up there. Can usually tease out a little bit more pop and it makes the whole ordeal something to look forward too
The other day when I was wiping my ass I accidentally got some shit on my thumb. Didn’t notice it until hours later. Made me think how lucky I am to be an American. Most countries outside of the US don’t even get toilet paper. They just have to walk around with shit all over their hands 24/7. I’d be fricking pissed off at our country too.
>wipe anus once poop
>wipe anus twice almost gone
>wipe anus thrice small amount of poop and fresh blood from ripped skin
>now if I wipe more I’ll tear more up but I don’t I’ll have shit in my ass
At this point I just jump in the shower after pooping because it’s not worth the paper and bleeding to wipe
the trick is once done shitting, HNNNNNG with all your might and squeeze your bowels like a tube of toothpaste because there are still tiny shits up there
You gottie squeeze the outliers away before beginning the wipening
That's how you get hemorrhoids, anon.
>not washing your ass
>not inspecting it for hemorrhoids or other anal errata with a mirror
>not caring about your health
sounds about right for this board. Pure filth.
>not fingering your arse with toilet paper for a perfect clean
>not taste testing the residue to be sure of health
>not enlarging your anus with a dildo for easier shits
sounds about right for this board. Pure filth.
It’s pre-excrementation. If I have to shit before I know it’s all coming out, some of it will suck back into my butthole and I’ll have to wipe almost until I bleed. And I know I’m just gonna have to wipe my ass throughout the day because it leaks out. Hemmy central, my butthole is.
200 post thread about a shit joke from a reddit sitcom from 10 years ago. pretty cool huh.
Why don't you sneed about it somewhere else homosexual
don't get angry, your handler will come in and make you take your meds, drooler.
Is 'drooler what Europeans say when they're trying to curse? We invented all the good cuss words lol
Frick you gon do about it Timmy?
just run your toilet paper under the sink
I have hemorrhoids. Sometimes when I wipe there's pink blood.
I literally only use Alcohol-free wet wipes.
No Bidet
No TP
Just a big box of Sam's Club wet wipes.
Your plumber thanks you.
Hey man I'm selling this house to one of those chinese real estate people that offer you like 1.5x market value to move out in like 2 months, it's their problem.
make sure to clog up the drains with grease somehow, too
How are you disgusting fricks not spreading dysentery like a medieval army during a 2 year siege?
I have an butthole like a greek werewolf but I stopped all that bits of paper nonsense by using the bidet first, dabbing the first paper wad with very little motion to stop it from tearing or getting caught in the ass hairs, and then wiping the clean dry butthole.
JUST DO A WIPE WITH WET PAPER IN BETWEEN TWO DRY WIPES YOU FRICKING MORONS
It's not rocket science
How are you supposed to wet the paper?
If only there was a common household device that could wet objects in customizable amounts... a manually activated water dispenser of some kind... hmm...
So you stand up and walk over to the sink every other wipe? No thanks.
stop being fat
Anon Anonymous' advanced course in optimal wiping efficiency and efficacy is not open to the fat public and fat fricks who find the simple act of standing once difficult need not apply - seated wipers also need not apply; though that is redundant since seated wipers are fat (and gay).
i was a standing wiper when i was young, don't remember when i stopped, but i remember standing
ah yes, parks and reddit
poo poo bum smelly shitty poos
I remember a podcast where a black guy shitted on a bunch of toilet paper raw and he said he was doing it his whole life and that was how you were supposed to do things.
Best thread on Cinemaphile
yo te hago lindo caca, sale todo con moñito incluido, pero los mexicanos le gustan poner el papel en el basurero y no en el inodoro, manga de puercos
I remember a Radio Bam episode talking about how every time they went to wipe, it was like a crayon was streaking the paper. Also they made fun of Dunn going to the toilet room solely to wipe his ass
if you're gonna drink alcohol, do hard liquor, boys. or else you'll get the sticky poops.
Why does every bidet user need to have a sparkling, sanitized butthole. If you wipe and the paper doesnt have shit then thats enough. What are you doing all day where your butthole needs to be sparkling clean? Farts have shit particle, do you wash your ass when your fart too?
There's a subset of colons that won't co-operate the way they're supposed to. I compare it to service animals. There are a lot of people who need them, and others who just want to feel special because they're lonely.