Was it really THAT bad?

Was it really THAT bad?

Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68

Yakub: World's Greatest Dad Shirt $21.68

Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68

  1. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah it kind of sucked. Besson hasn't made a good flick since The Fifth Element and I don't know why he continues to get work

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      U know it's bad when rhiana is da best actress

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        MAHALO MOTHERFRICKERS

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Besson hasn't made a good flick since The Fifth Element
      What about Arthur and the Minimoys?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Incomprehensible shite

  2. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Nah, but the actor sucked for that specific role, cara was ok

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >cara was ok
      she was literally the worst part, ya fricking simp

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Simping is a disease

  3. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    It was aimless.

  4. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    No, not bad, but disapointing
    Which can be worse then bad, depending on your books

  5. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    It was... okay? The 2 main actors sucked, they both looked like the heroin habit hit them hard.
    The opening virtual reality/dimension thing was kind of shit. The idea of it is cool, but what they did wasn't. The rest of the movie was okay, but felt like a meh version of what it could have been.
    Also, it really sucked as an adaptation of the source material.

  6. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's a fine movie, but the incest stuff was a bit weird. I think that's really what put a lot of people off.

  7. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    yes, it only became good for a second when Bubbles was on screen, but even then they just killed her for no reason, so we were again stuck with 2 uncharismatic timber-like characters

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Valerian, the fate of the entire civilisation is at stake! Where are you? Wait...are you just sitting and watching some pole dancer alien in a club while drinking wienertails???
      they were so real with this scene

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      It’s amazing how people give Scarlet Joblandson a pass

  8. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    To me it was worse than bad: it was boring. After I watched it I had this feeling that I would have preferred doing something else with that time.

  9. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I loved the movie. It made the best use of 3D effects of any film not in the Avatar series.

  10. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I refused to watch because of the two leads and Rihanna.

  11. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Her presence in any film is a signal to investors that the movie is designed to bomb

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Her

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Her?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I wish, I would be her bottom.

  12. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I don't remember most of it, but the main actors are just too hard to look at or take seriously as action Stars. This is made by one of the Chris's and some random hot girl it would have been a lot better

  13. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Casting a man instead of Dane Dehaan would have saved it

  14. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Opening act is fantastic. The chemistry between the leads is bad if not horrible. Rianna or whatever that fish eyed black woman is called can not act and ruins whatever was good prior.

  15. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I asked a fat ugly girl with a burn wound to go see this with me.
    She rejected me.

  16. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Swung for the fences and for that it gets my respect. But it's not good and Dane is miscast as Valerian, he's just not a leading man hero. He gives school shooter vibes all the time.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Nolan knew what was up when he cast him to play Not Smithers in Oppenheimer

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      He can be a leading man if the role calls for an angsty, sickly loner type guy. Not here.

      But I read the comic books and honestly.. they weren't that good compared to the other French sci fi stuff. They always had these confused sprawling storylines with lots of running around about nothing.
      The casino part of the second star wars sequel reminded me the most of the comics.

  17. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Awful miscast, really. The story isn't specially good but could've been a "second Fifth Element" if the cast was good and they added some memorable scenes. A waste of potential.

  18. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >it's bad because... the main character isn't chad

    - same board that loves blade runner 2049

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's not just that. He kinda looks like a male version of Cara Delevigne so the whole romance feels incestuous.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        They really did look alike, it was a bit weird. They romance part of the film could have been removed totally, and just have them be good work buddies would have been much better

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Really? That's why you think people didn't like the movie?

      You're fricking moronic.

  19. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Thankfully Hollywood seems to have gotten over the desire to cast Cara Delevingne in anything.

    Valerian is 2 hours and 17 minutes long, and it feels every second of it and more.

  20. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    It was okay. Worldbuilding was good, but the main story was boring and derivative.

  21. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    The market scene is cool, the rest sucks.

  22. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Was it really THAT bad?

    It wasn't that bad, not great, just "meh"....

    Zero chemistry with Dehann and Deleingne.

    Too much green-screen

    Too much lore from the source material trying to pack into the movie.

    ...as well as the "John Carter" factor too. People don't really appreciate the sources of inspiration when relating to current thing's popularity; talking about "Star Wars" here. Lucas took much inspiration from various sources to make Star Wars. One being Kurosawa's Hidden Fortress, and Burroughs "John Carter", as well as "Valerian" which was a French Sci-Fi comic from the 60s....But since Star Wars achieved the fame that it did (before Disney), people use the OG trilogy as a primer for everything else, even the original sources. ...And the audience tends to become stupid plebs about it, thinking "oh it rips off Star Wars" never realizing Valerian was one of the many inspirations for Star Wars "doing it first"...

    ...still Valerian did turn out to be a silly movie anyways;...

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >And the audience tends to become stupid plebs about it, thinking "oh it rips off Star Wars" never realizing Valerian was one of the many inspirations for Star Wars "doing it first"...
      Just wait for that Warhammer 40k series, its going to be the plebapocalypse.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's just gonna be a bunch big burly bald men in armor shooting things, so it might get a casual following from people who want to turn their brain off.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      It didn't help the movie has nothing to do with any of the original elements of the comic.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Good point. Just because a famous Hollywood movie stole somebody else's idea, a big screen adaptation of that original idea isn't "entitled" to success for simply existing. Star Wars also ripped off Dune, but the new adaptation isn't really using Star Wars as a crutch and it's trying to be different, so far it's getting positive reception

  23. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Compared to anything released this year, it's a masterpiece.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      nope
      even by currentday standards it's crap

  24. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I saw this in theaters on MUSHROOMS and it was still unbelievably boring.

    Rihanna striping is the only saving grace this film has.

  25. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    The leads were awful. Replace them and you have a cult classic.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Switch the singer for another alien type making some weird noises and it'd be bordering on mainstream classic.

  26. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Stupid name

  27. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I honestly don't remember. A friend recently had to inform me when Rihanna is transforming and shit doing a weird show that it was a scene from this movie and not a music video of hers when I asked if he had remembered what song that was from the video for.

  28. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    The poster makes it look like this was made for 10 year olds.

  29. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    They tried so hard to make this talentless nepobaby the next big thing and failed gloriously

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yes but enough about Dane DeHaan

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      literal FAS face

  30. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    FTM and MTF leads. This is globohomosexual trash.

  31. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    It looks like shit and this is the only thing that I've seen from the movie which is pretty good. What went wrong?

    is it because the leads are charisma vacuums?

  32. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I saw it for the first time recently, it was quite comfy.

  33. 3 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      So ugly

  34. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    no it ruled

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      yeah it's pretty damn sweet when you're looking for a fun, colorful, visually impressive space odyssey adventure that doesn't take itself overly serious, has some cool concepts, and has Cara looking ridiculously hot the entire time.

  35. 3 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I don't get why he looks like he's permanently on the verge of a heroin OD. Like, isn't there a makeup department and acting instructors to teach him how to look like he's not circling a k-hole?

      >here's your new sex symbol bro

      >tfw someone fricked a who from whoville and managed to reproduce with it

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      high-key kino scene and visuals

  36. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >here's your new sex symbol bro

  37. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I liked the movie, like cara, but it was kinda shit. The world building was 10/10

  38. 3 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Embarassing

  39. 3 months ago
    Anonymous
  40. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Every netflix movie feels like this one to me.
    I can't explain it, i want to find the correct words to say it.
    It's like they get a good idea and pass it through a sanitizing, smoothing filter, script and looks wise. It's like it's algorithm made and then they stick trooning into it for ESG score, but still try to smooth it out.
    It's like the low fat, no sugar brownie next to the normal corn syrup sneed oil brownie at the supermaket.
    Actual brownies made with butter and sugar are rare but the corn syrup ones are beloved by most.

  41. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Lead actors were awful. But even with good actors it was too sprawling and unfocused. Should have been spread out over 3-5 films to fully explore that universe instead of trying to cram it all rapid fire into one film.

  42. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's awesome actually, I like it way more than Starwars ep1, it's on par with Fifth Element.

  43. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Neither of the leads remotely sold their roles, and just looked like coked out Eurotrash going through the motions.

    The plot also really undermined the charm of the setting by having leadership trying to destroy it and triggering the plot with a random space battle. Just separating the despotic planet killers from the wondrous embassy for all would have massively improved the plot over a twist that added nothing.

  44. 3 months ago
    Anonymous
  45. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Delevingne is one of my guilty pleasures, but yeah, the movie sucks pretty bad.

  46. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Yes. The guy’s surfer dude acting was awful.

  47. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Was it really THAT bad?

    no. i liked it. it has some flaws but the movie is fun.

  48. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Cara in a bikini was ok. It got to me, I need Kleenexes.

  49. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Even if it wasn't, having two charisma black holes for stars would've ensured it was.

  50. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    The opening sequence was genuinely awesome. Ethan Hawke going full moron while Rihanna bawdted it up was cool. There was something about a virtual mall in a desert? I dont really remember much more than that

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *