Watching this again. It's kino. No woke shit, nothing subversive. Why did we all complain about it when it came out again?
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Watching this again. It's kino. No woke shit, nothing subversive.
It felt tired. It was tired. They could've saved it with a bit better of an ending perhaps.
It's cartoon shit for babies
How were 1-3 not?
They were real and violent
indy gets at least 2 head shots in raiders
I'll never know how this got a LEGO game for kids
How did Spielberg get away with the face melt and head shots in Raiders? Temple was pretty damn hardcore for a PG too. Man, early-Spielberg made hard-as-nails kid films. I miss that type of shit.
PG-13 didn’t exist. PG really meant parental guidance.
The biggest issue was ironically the middle dude exploding so they put the fire effect over him to obscure it. PG back then could be anything approaching G up to near rated R which is why they needed to make the PG-13 rating because of them.
In pretty sure indie is the reason we have a PG-13 rating in the first place.
Parts of Raiders and all of Temple of Doom still scare the absolute shit out of me and this is after I've seen gory exploitation flicks like Terrifier 2 and real life beheading videos. Spielberg really knows how to scare an audience when he gives a shit to
pt aint any better just because st is shit
hobbit aint good just because rope is shit
skull aint good just because dial is shit
the prequels are genuinely good, sorry you got filtered
>jabba has feet and just chooses not to use them
He's literally me
I just knew what phrasing it differently from other two examples wont be enough for some to get what I consider prequels good
The prequels sucked dick lmao
was your image suppose to support your opinion? That dude is moronic
How can someone say this and just happily be part of the "infanicide", as he would call it, of Star Trek.Oh I remember why, not for the art....
Go back
this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen
I did a rewatch recently, and the first like, hour or so is good. Once they get to the jungle it goes downhill quick.
Indy trilogy finished perfectly
Indy 4 felt tired and nobody really wants to see Indy older and tired. imagine Sean Connery playing 007 in the 1990s.
was it a terrible stand alone movie? no but it felt tired. Indy is a pulp 1930s adventurer, the more you stray from that the more you stray from the heart of Indy.
Indy 4 looks like a fricking masterpiece compared to Indy 5. the same way the Star Wars prequels are works of art compared to the Disney slop.
5 is actually closer to the original movies than 4 is because there's no sci-fi shit and overt political messaging about how the Soviet Union was "bad", but they weren't that bad because the US government was bad too.
>because there's no sci-fi shit and overt political messaging about how the Soviet Union was "bad"
There's literally time travel and the almost century old overt political messages of Nazis le bad
(You), don't spend it all in one place
Nazis were bad, but so was the Soviet Union. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull made a deliberate attempt to not make them seem as bad as they were because they're a bunch of tankies.
the Soviets being the enemy is fine but it's better in the 1930s but nobody wants to see old broken hero who is replaced by condescending Kathleen Kennedy self insert. literally nobody wants to see that.
imagine Sean Connery in Goldeneye. it wouldn't have been as good. now add a mary sue condescending female replace he's supposed to pass the torch to. it would be absolutely god awful.
>but nobody wants to see old broken hero who is replaced by condescending Kathleen Kennedy self insert.
Harrison Ford was still young enough to play him in 4 imo
66 isn't young, he's 80 now
I said young *enough*, at no point in the movie did I feel the action had to be slowed down to accommodate his age. He wasn't exactly a master martial artist in the original trilogy either, which is what I thought made the brawls and stunts more interesting than most movies
>imagine Sean Connery playing 007 in the 1990s.
It's called the rock
except he isn't 007 exactly. he isn't doing 007 shit nearly as much and the movie has Nicolas Cage as a side kick, not replacement. fleabag is the Indy replacement, at no point is Connery's character a broken old man being lectured to by middle aged stronk female.
> fleabag is the Indy replacement, at no point is Connery's character a broken old man being lectured to by middle aged stronk female.
We're talking about 4 not dilator of destiny
ok fair enough than yeah Indy 4 would basically be like the Rock. as a stand alone movie it's ok but compared to the original trilogy it's not as good.
The lack of woke shit and subversion doesn't make it a good film. It helps, but it won't make a difference when the film is trash at its core like Kingdom of The Crystal Skull
RedditLetterMedia told us, too.
Uh, I mean Soith Park or something.
I watched this yesterday and kind of enjoyed it, better than overrated last crusade for sure
>better than overrated last crusade for sure
Based. It was a higher budget retread of Raiders with half of the charm
I'm not talking about diarrhea of dysentery
It’s already been removed from the two largest theaters in my area
>Kino of the Crystal Skull was in theatres for 15 years
holy based
>It's kino.
How?
>No woke shit,
Feminst guurlboss is woke.
Minority sidekick is woke.
Hating Nazis is woke.
Minimizing the main character is woke.
>Why did we all complain about it when it came out again?
KK, you fricking suck.
ANON
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE MOVIE THAT JUST CAME OUT, I'M TALKING ABOUT KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL. WHY THE FRICK IS Cinemaphile's READING COMPREHENSION SO SHIT TODAY?
>I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE MOVIE THAT JUST CAME OUT, I'M TALKING ABOUT KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL. WHY THE FRICK IS Cinemaphile's READING COMPREHENSION SO SHIT TODAY?
KotCS is woke and it's shit. You can't explain why its good.
>KotCS is woke
How so?
Ridicules and demeans the main character. Turns him into a deadbeat dad.
>Turns him into a deadbeat dad.
How can he be a deadbeat dad when he literally didn't even know he had a son until Marion shows up?
>Ridicules and demeans the main character
How?
>How can he be a deadbeat dad when he literally didn't even know he had a son until Marion shows up?
Why do femnists say that children don't need a father and it's perfectly acceptable to hide children from their fathers like that?
>How?
Fridge.
Why are you defending Hollywood? Why are you defending the israelites?
>Why are you defending Hollywood? Why are you defending the israelites?
You do know the original 3 movies were also made by Steven Spielberg, the most evil israelite in hollywood, right? They're still good movies. If you don't think so, why are you shitting up a thread about a series you hate?
>You do know the original 3 movies were also made by Steven Spielberg, the most evil israelite in hollywood, right?
And why are you defending him?
>why are you shitting up a thread about a series you hate?
Why are you shitting up this board with a subversive series that you can't explain what's good about?
Post your top 5 favorite films to prove you aren't a /misc/ tourist
>Why are you shitting up this board with a subversive series
I'm talking about a film series on the television and film board. Sorry it's not yet another thread about Black folk
>Fridge.
How does this "demean" him as a character? What the frick are you even talking about?
lol he already was full old man in this, I swear they even call him an old fart in last crusade
>Why was Marion hesitant keeping her son from his womanizing pedophile and murderer of a father
gee I dunno
Also, guurlboss antagonist. Glosses over the crimes of Communism.
>Glosses over the crimes of Communism.
Do you really want an Indiana Jones movie to be a history lesson? I thought it was pretty unique that they even made the Communists the enemy in the first place. femme fatale antagonists have also been a thing since at least the 60s. I think you're just talking out your ass at this point
>Do you really want an Indiana Jones movie to be a history lesson?
Why is hollywood making light in the greatest evil regime of history (USSR)?
> I thought it was pretty unique that they even made the Communists the enemy in the first place.
Only because they couldn't vilify the GNATZIES again.
>I think you're just talking out your ass at this point
I think you're defending israelites. I bet you think Schlinder's List is the greatest movie ever made.
>Why is hollywood making light in the greatest evil regime of history (USSR)?
How were they "making light" of them by making them the antagonists of the film? You aren't making any sense at all
You are talking to bots (aka conservatives).
Leftists are psychotic anti-White racists that support White Genocide.
Bot response.
>Bot response.
Jew
Bot response.
Vaxxies having their reading skills and short term memory crippled?
>hating Nazis is woke
Well consider me up in the morning with a cup of joe
>no woke shit
>nothing diversive
good start. movie is still ass though and the predictable old thing good argument is very moronic with this film
It's comfy, hilarious, and good up until about 1/4 in the film when they go to Peru, then it becomes forgettable CGI trash.
I literally don't remember anything after the trip to South America, literally. fricking. nothing.
This movie should've never been made.
But this movie will probably be better than The Dial8 of Destiny.
The new movie wasn't woke shit either. It's biggest problem was being too long.
In order of what stands out:
1. Ugly yellow tint and bloom on everything.
2. Just about every scene looks to be green screened, even the non action scenes.
3. Things don't make sense. Why is the skull's magnetic power so inconsistent? How is Mutt able to swing on vines to catch up with speeding vehicles? How does the back end of a poison dart kill a person? Why would you make a blow dart gun where the dart can even slide backwards into your mouth? How does a fridge door stay closed while tumbling around violently from a ground zero explosive blast? Etc.
4. Weak, forgettable, uninteresting villains.
5. Angry CGI alien at the end looked goofy.
6. Don't really want to see an old Indy or Marion doing anything
7. The Mutt character couldn't sell himself as the next Indy
Absolutely shit tier unless maybe you're 5 years old, then it's fine
8. Pic related
Apart from the CGI slop and weak ending its better than Last Crusade, but Cinemaphile isnt ready for this redpill yet.
It was awful. Just a reminder, things can always get worse than you think. We're not even at the lowest point yet.
Its boring, the story is rubbish, the characters are boring and dull. The effects and stunts were unimpressive and dull. Indy was a decrepit cripple, Waller Bridge was boring, Mads Mikelson was mid. Where did the $350million go, I;d want a refund.
I don't get why people hated the aliens, 80s IJ movies were playing on 30's tropes, so it makes sense that 2000's IJ is playing on 50's tropes.
Imagine if in Raiders they showed a CGI version of God himself coming out of the ark, looking stern, stroking his beard and wearing a toga. See, they could've done the whole alien thing without it coming across goofy
Rewatched this morning
Indy stumbles after being full throttle rocket launched into a staged nuclear test zone, the silicone dummies sickly 50's parody (WEIRD SCENE), HWNDU motorcycle scene, HH autograph, Shy swinging from vines with monkeys, Aliens mindbreak and destroy Cate Blanchett.
Way better than I remembered.
KINO.
it's not good but i really like the soundtrack, the ending, and the overall pro family message
Cate Blanchett is the cold war villain. That’s kinda feminist.
The best scene was motorcycles and stuff with Mutt. The rest of the movie isn’t scary. It was OK and I think that was filling enough. Crystal Skull isn’t a crap movie but it’s not a great Indy movie compared to Raiders. Raiders is a nonstop action movie. There is barely any boring scene except maybe Belloq talking to Marion.
>all 4 Indy movies use the same logo, font and poster style
>shitty 5th one changes it for no reason
I'm convinced it was meant to be shit.
Because Red Letter Media and South Park brainwashed people into hating it.
RLM and SP have done irreparable damage to art and culture.
Unintelligent morons like Colbert are also part of that.
Dude it was blasted when it came out in 2008 and the RLM video was 2014
Don’t forget Simmon Pegg and Alexandre O. Philippe
Zoomers once again outing themselves. Watch the movie The People Vs George Lucas to fully understand how deep the hatred of this and the prequels was from fans.
>No woke shit
So this is what it's come to, huh. Anything that isn't "woke" is suddenly kino.
rate
indy 2 > 1 > 3 >5 power gap >>>>>> 4
i actually like this movie. my ranking is 1, 3, 4, 2.
i hate temple of doom
I feel like crystal skull is better than it. not the best by far, but id rather take a fake lead lined fridge surviving a nuke whatever they trying to sell me in the 5th one.
>holy grail is le real
>arc of the covenant is real
>magic rocks brings water to tribes are real
>aliens are real
YOU FRICKING SAID WHAT? THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH YOU CROSSED THE LINE. ALIENS IN MY HECKIN INBYANA BINGS MOVIERINO.
Manbabies complaining about CG, lack of location shoots, and no Nazis
>Why did we all complain about it when it came out again?
>we
Because you're a consoomer moron. I'm not even sure I saw this movie. If I did, I forgot everything about it. I seem to remember some scene where Shia Lebouf is riding a motorcycle and does the whole "driving through a high school banner that two cheerleaders are holding" trope.
CRUSADE>RAIDERS>TEMPLE>SKULL>DIAL
Raiders: 8.25/10 great
Temple: 7.75/10 very good
Crusade: 8.5/10 great to excellent
Skull: 6.5/10 decent
Dial: 4/10 dog shit
I was 10 years old in 2008, so I never had a problem with the movie.
Fridge nuke dumb. CGI monkey swinging dumb. Yes, we all know, but at least everything else was still entertaining and had the heart of an Indy adventure.
Dilator of Density is boring and full of genuinely unlikable characters. At least in Kingdom, Ford could still run. Literally every single time Indy runs in Dial, he takes 1 or 2 steps and it cuts to a shot of him from behind so his stunt double can run.
a movie doesn't need to be woke to be moronic
I feel a sleep during the car chase in Morocco or whatever. Maybe I'll try again once there's better than cam versions
It's pure kino right up until picrel happens. Afterwards the movie gets progressively worse, but it takes a while until we get to "Mutt swinging on vines with CGI monkeys" level. It's very flawed but too much of it is good for it to not be a valid Indy adventure.
>what are ya drinking?
>a cran-cranberry juice
>a cranberry juice? Wha is it your heckin period?
>pour him a cranberry juice in a heckarino Kino of the Crystal Skull glass, it's on me