do they have an employee whose job is just trying to come up with a bullshit metric to make the latest show look like a great success?
all streaming platforms do this and it's fricking hilarious.
"most clicked on preview by left handed midgets during a full moon EVER"
I mean its not terrible.
Evan is a very good lead.
Leia is cute and funny.
Writing is mediocre. Dialogue is awful.
It's the best Star Wars show to date tbh and i hated everything they made since the Disney purchase except for the Mandolorian and this.
I expected it to be a lot worse.
That's not to say that it's good. But considering how people were talking about it, I expected it to be like an even shittier version of Boba Fett. As is, it has a lot of wooden acting and Reva's pretty stupid. But none of it's terrible. And the set design is pretty cool.
It doesn't feel like low budget trash like The Mandalorian and Boba Fett.
>But none of it's terrible
You just listed Reva being stupid, and we all know how insufferable she already is. That, alone, makes the show terrible and then some. Simple as.
I like you shills. You're all so predictable with the way you write out these verbatim responses, with your "It's pretty good" & "that's a good thing" jargon. I'd say you were sent by the Mouse to advertise freely here, but that'd be giving you lot too much credit.
>That, alone, makes the show terrible and then some. Simple as.
Ehh. Most films/shows have something stupid in them. At the moment her scenes are kind of cringe but they don't ruin the show. Maybe that will change in later episodes.
The show is watchable. It's too long and meandering for my liking but, like I said, I expected it to be a lot worse. >with your "It's pretty good" & "that's a good thing" jargon
Where did I ever say it was good? I like the set design. I only watch it so that I can talk about it on Cinemaphile.
>I mean its not terrible.
Its so sad how far audience standards have collectively dropped. >Well, it doesnt make your eyes bleed at least hahaha
Like, you know theres other ways to spend your time than watching garbage TV, right? Go for a walk outside, catch up with old friends. Play a boardgame with some folks or a table-top game. Unfortunately smart-phone use has collectively warped our brains that we all just want to sit and consoom whatever garbage is slopped in the trough because its easier than actually doing anything, so that garbage television becomes ''meh, good enough''
>the best fans
Who? The legions of bot accounts, shills, and paid infiltrators you clearly used to manipulate statistics in your favor? This claim holds about as much legitimacy as Netflix's "total viewed hours" jargon in their investor meetings. Frick off.
>Disney plus shows always wait until the last episode >maybe a bit in the second to last episode
Yeah, we'll see Vader in the last minute of episode 5 that way everyone can tell their friends to watch Obi Wan episode 6 to see vader.
Second episode. Obi-Wan finds out Vader is alive. He reaches out with the Force. Whispers "Anakin". Vader opens his eyes in his bacta tank. End credits.
tbh I didn't expect darth vader to have a big presence in the series because of episode 4. i don't think this is a bad thing, i think it'd be great if the show focuses more on the realization of anakin being alive to obi wan rather than vader himself
Not nothing >End of episode 3: Hayden gets out of bathtub in Vader prosthetics and dries off with bathtowel >End of episode 4: Hayden does naked calisthenics in Vader prosthetics and brushes his teeth >Beginning of episode 5: Hayden gets dressed in Vader suit while checking his credit score >Middle of episode 5: Hayden shows up in flashback >End of episode 5: Hayden appears in Vader suit out of focus standing in front of a kneeling Ewan, Vader breathing noise and cut to credits
>An entire series dedicated to Obi-Wan reuniting with his big green lizard and going on adventures with it
Sounds comfy as frick and the episodes would be some of the funniest friendposting to date
>Squid Game is the most watched show on Netflix! >Halo is the most watched show on Paramont+! >Kenobi is the most watched show on Disney+!
Gotta love all these new metrics that only compare a piece of media with other products made by the same company.
>>Squid Game is the most watched show on Netflix!
You can complain about Netflix but they are very transparent about viewership, more than any other streaming service at least.
https://top10.netflix.com/tv-non-english
>Win
Fricking yawn. Still doing this shit? Come up with something new. TLJ was 2017 and Disney shillgays still use the same bullshit.
It'll be forgotten in a month from now. It will have zero cultural impact.
No shutup what are you moronic
they absolutely did not confuse specist with racist nor did they in any way call blacks a different species stop seeing things that 100% certifiably arent there in easy to read text.
>multi billion dollar company >we resist
It's great knowing that, no matter what, you still have power when you call some bland actress a Black person.
Don't people get Disney+ just for Star Wars anyway? Isn't the competition on the platform pretty pathetic? Being the most watched series isn't as impressive as they make it out to be.
The show is pretty good but everyone in it is an awful actor except Ewan. It doesn't help that the dialogue is god-awful but Ewan is really the only person that looks like he's putting effort in. That indian guy was fricking awful as comic relief. Isn't he supposed to be a comedic actor, too?
>Thanks to all the fans for making kenobi the most watched disney+ season 1 global series premier airing on a thursday in march between the GMT time of 9 and 10 in a year that ends with 4 based on how many times the studio donkey chewed a carrot.
NONBELIEVERS BTFO FOREVER AND EVER HOW CAN THEY RECOVER FROM THIS TRAGIC LOSS LOL GG NO RE
I can never understand productions that decide to have a child-actor as one of the leads but don't put any effort into finding a child-actor that can actually act and getting a director that cares to spend the time getting a good performance out of them.
Like either put the effort in, or cut down their screentime.
Enjoy it while you can, you nostalgia baited your last character and have no likable characters of your own. This is the last profit disney makes from starwars.
>Giving a 10 year old the reasoning skills and dialogue of a 16 year old is hilariously bad.
You have to understand, Disney thinks 10 year olds are mature enough to change their gender and consent to sex.
I am a very tolerant person, I have nothing against blacks, homosexuals, transexuals, women or any other minority group chuds on Cinemaphile tend to shit on. But if you have a Disney+ subscription, I can't respect you as a person. I'm sorry, I just can't. What kind of person has a fricking Disney+ subscription? Netflix, Amazon Prime, HBO Max, fine, I get it they have some interesting shows, but Disney+? Why?
I mean, if you are paying for disney+, what else are you going to watch on there? It's such a strange ecosystem for a streaming service where they have virtually no competing new content whatsoever.
It's pretty cruel of companies to pick dogshit diversity actors knowing they're gonna be thrown to the wolves like this. It's almost like 90% of the racial backlash wouldn't exist if you picked a black that could, I don't know, act?
They do this with every single movie and TV show they release. Have bots make racist posts, then go to war with them to drum up attention and get thousands of people to feel like they're fighting the good fight by consooming
disney would never lie about numbers they only have access to
lets fire up those caveat
*original series
*globally
*hours streamed opening weekend
*holiday weekend
I stopped giving a shit about SW a long time ago, but seeing clips of this show really made me realized how awesome it could have been to have an actual good SW tv series about Vader. A shame that at this point a good Disney SW show is about as likely as a Netflix medieval european history drama without a black person in it.
Reminds me of the articles around the HBO watchmen series where they claimed that it was the most successful and most watched series in the history of television but there are no current plans for a season two because reasons. These companies have gotten so big and influence the media to an extent that they can just blatantly lie and make media report the lies with threats of cutting them off from all future media if they don't.
I want to thank the whole anonymous community for making this post the most-replied Cinemaphile post posted in a Tuesday of May after the pandemic, based on non-dubs posts posted in the following 30 minutes right after my original post.
We're making history, guys.
This is a great time to inform you guys that Reva is, in fact, the Jedi Youngling from the cold open from the first episode of Obi-Wan.
If they are gonna play race politics when we've loved black people in Star Wars since Lando then I will spend every waking moment spoiling this insultingly low-effort television show.
Also I am merely guessing since there are no leaks on this.
Its just obvious.
She wants revenge on Anakin for killing younglings and joined the empire to get close to him.
She will also inspire Obi-Wan to start the rebel resistance.
There I saved you 6 (insulting low number) of boobless episodes.
Feel free to spread pic related or not, I know you aren't my personal army.
shut the frick up, franz
>release two episodes at once
>we've got double the viewing hours as any premiere before!
Wow!!
chuds blown the frick out the park
do they have an employee whose job is just trying to come up with a bullshit metric to make the latest show look like a great success?
all streaming platforms do this and it's fricking hilarious.
"most clicked on preview by left handed midgets during a full moon EVER"
yes
t. former marketing intern
its how you try to trick shareholder israelites.
the second they insist on normalized metrics its over for most of these companies.
Yes, most streaming services count 2 minutes maximum as a view.
That, and bullshit companies like this:
https://tv.parrotanalytics.com/US/obi-wan-kenobi-disney-plus
Not stating any solid number is a tacit admission it's not doing well enough to brag about
you guys remember when netflix said birdbox was watched by like 20 billion people lmao
I still have a hard time believing bridgerton is doing as well as netflix claims it is
with all the porn I believe it
Every woman watches that shit. They love period pieces where women get to dress in nice fansy clothes and have maids make them meals
its a women show. i think a lot watch Downtown Abbey more though, which is more of a mom show.
I've never met a person who saw that.
Is it really hard to believe? What other D+ originals besides Star Wars and Marvel do people even watch?
Does it matter when they're measuring it against their own shows? If it were second to Mando, they word it some other way.
>the most watched disney plus original
there's only like 5 of them anyway
I mean its not terrible.
Evan is a very good lead.
Leia is cute and funny.
Writing is mediocre. Dialogue is awful.
It's the best Star Wars show to date tbh and i hated everything they made since the Disney purchase except for the Mandolorian and this.
>It's the best Star Wars show
Not with that nignog, it isn't.
This.
The show is pretty good. Ewan again proves he’s the best talent in SW history. By the time this show ends it will be considered the best SW show ever.
Legit want a second season
>This.
Is it "pretty good" or "not terrible"? Pick one.
What a fricking lying shill.
Not a shill. I hate the Sequel Trilogy like it was cancer.
You have no idea what the bait and switch is going to be in this series. It's cringe and pathetic.
What happens? So long as they leave Luke/ Leia alone as the chosen ones and don’t introduce like 100 random Jedi, it should be fine
no fricking shit, anyone with half a brain does, that's not a high bar to set
>The show is pretty good.
>pretty good
EVERY. FRICKING. TIME.
IT'S THE SAME TWO WORDS EVERY TIME
I used to be pretty skeptical of widespread shilling but it's more obvious and insulting than ever now. How did it get this bad?
It’s a very common thing to say anon
>reddit spacing
The only good sw show on Disney plus was mando s1 the rest is terrible nostalgia homosexualry
I expected it to be a lot worse.
That's not to say that it's good. But considering how people were talking about it, I expected it to be like an even shittier version of Boba Fett. As is, it has a lot of wooden acting and Reva's pretty stupid. But none of it's terrible. And the set design is pretty cool.
It doesn't feel like low budget trash like The Mandalorian and Boba Fett.
mandalorean and boba fett is a fricking joke i will not even pirate a star wars complete waste of time
I enjoyed han solo though no memeing
>But none of it's terrible
You just listed Reva being stupid, and we all know how insufferable she already is. That, alone, makes the show terrible and then some. Simple as.
I like you shills. You're all so predictable with the way you write out these verbatim responses, with your "It's pretty good" & "that's a good thing" jargon. I'd say you were sent by the Mouse to advertise freely here, but that'd be giving you lot too much credit.
>That, alone, makes the show terrible and then some. Simple as.
Ehh. Most films/shows have something stupid in them. At the moment her scenes are kind of cringe but they don't ruin the show. Maybe that will change in later episodes.
The show is watchable. It's too long and meandering for my liking but, like I said, I expected it to be a lot worse.
>with your "It's pretty good" & "that's a good thing" jargon
Where did I ever say it was good? I like the set design. I only watch it so that I can talk about it on Cinemaphile.
frick off shill, shit sucks
This. The writing gets to absolute dogshit levels, but Ewan and prequels/OT setting might be able to carry the show.
>I mean its not terrible.
Its so sad how far audience standards have collectively dropped.
>Well, it doesnt make your eyes bleed at least hahaha
Like, you know theres other ways to spend your time than watching garbage TV, right? Go for a walk outside, catch up with old friends. Play a boardgame with some folks or a table-top game. Unfortunately smart-phone use has collectively warped our brains that we all just want to sit and consoom whatever garbage is slopped in the trough because its easier than actually doing anything, so that garbage television becomes ''meh, good enough''
people are 99% worthless scumbags
no sense of quality or aesthetics
something existing and occupying their time is good enough
EWAN sound like star war creature
>the best fans
Who? The legions of bot accounts, shills, and paid infiltrators you clearly used to manipulate statistics in your favor? This claim holds about as much legitimacy as Netflix's "total viewed hours" jargon in their investor meetings. Frick off.
>THIS IS THE RECORD-BREAKING MOST X IN Y DURING Z BASED ON M ACCORDING TO N
>based on hours streamed in an opening weekend
CAUSE THEY DROPPED TWO EPISODES!
This means it's one of the worst.
When does hayden come on?
>When does hayden come on?
Knowing our luck, the last episode.
Don't pretend to give a shit. You didn't even watch the second episode.
you will get liam neeson in the last episode and you will consume and be positive about it
I hope he's got a fat piss stain on the front of his pants
Disney plus shows always wait until the last episode
maybe a bit in the second to last episode
>Disney plus shows always wait until the last episode
>maybe a bit in the second to last episode
Yeah, we'll see Vader in the last minute of episode 5 that way everyone can tell their friends to watch Obi Wan episode 6 to see vader.
Second episode. Obi-Wan finds out Vader is alive. He reaches out with the Force. Whispers "Anakin". Vader opens his eyes in his bacta tank. End credits.
Vader cameo, day 1.
ignore the replies, the entire plot got leaked ages ago. he and obi meet in episode 6
>he and obi meet in episode 6
Fricking hell. Then what happens in 3,4,5??????? Nothing??
tbh I didn't expect darth vader to have a big presence in the series because of episode 4. i don't think this is a bad thing, i think it'd be great if the show focuses more on the realization of anakin being alive to obi wan rather than vader himself
Episode 3, Obi-wan meets Jaxxter Dexxter again. He was a good friend.
Episode 4, Obi-wan fricks a Kaminoan lady. She was a good friend as well.
Episode 5, Obi-wan stabs Reva. She wasn't a good friend, really.
>Episode 3, Obi-wan meets Jaxxter Dexxter again. He was a good friend.
This is way too kino for disney to even consider.
anakin is at least in the show until then, so I assume we get a dual plot line of obi and anakin until they cross paths
Not nothing
>End of episode 3: Hayden gets out of bathtub in Vader prosthetics and dries off with bathtowel
>End of episode 4: Hayden does naked calisthenics in Vader prosthetics and brushes his teeth
>Beginning of episode 5: Hayden gets dressed in Vader suit while checking his credit score
>Middle of episode 5: Hayden shows up in flashback
>End of episode 5: Hayden appears in Vader suit out of focus standing in front of a kneeling Ewan, Vader breathing noise and cut to credits
The leaks say we get full armored Vader appearance in tonight's, and Obi-Wan barely survives it.
They meet before that too. Don't pretend you read the leaks.
Final moment of 2nd episode which has been up since Thursday night.
I vowed to never watch anything made by Disney ever again
Have fun eating your goyslop though
>people watch it for Ewan
>ERR MERR GRRRD! DEY WATCH IT FOR TEH BLAKS
i though it was about obi wan riding the big lizard that got lost in the general grievous fight but it is about a negre haha
americans are hilarious
>An entire series dedicated to Obi-Wan reuniting with his big green lizard and going on adventures with it
Sounds comfy as frick and the episodes would be some of the funniest friendposting to date
>Squid Game is the most watched show on Netflix!
>Halo is the most watched show on Paramont+!
>Kenobi is the most watched show on Disney+!
Gotta love all these new metrics that only compare a piece of media with other products made by the same company.
>>Squid Game is the most watched show on Netflix!
You can complain about Netflix but they are very transparent about viewership, more than any other streaming service at least.
https://top10.netflix.com/tv-non-english
>Win
Fricking yawn. Still doing this shit? Come up with something new. TLJ was 2017 and Disney shillgays still use the same bullshit.
It'll be forgotten in a month from now. It will have zero cultural impact.
What a win.
>get woke go br-
Oh no no hahahaha CHUDS keep seething hahahaha
>disney bot
>copes when shows flopped hard
yep it's a troon alright
>the product is x because of y made up statistic
kek. didn't the mouse inflate d+ sub numbers by rolling in their pajeet offshoot?
>the best fans need to be pre-emptively called raciats
They know the game by now.
It's too late. Always has been. Always will be.
Did they just inadvertantly imply black people are aliens?
No shutup what are you moronic
they absolutely did not confuse specist with racist nor did they in any way call blacks a different species stop seeing things that 100% certifiably arent there in easy to read text.
>multi billion dollar company
>we resist
It's great knowing that, no matter what, you still have power when you call some bland actress a Black person.
Don't people get Disney+ just for Star Wars anyway? Isn't the competition on the platform pretty pathetic? Being the most watched series isn't as impressive as they make it out to be.
>most watched thing on Disney+
Why would you call this a win, even as a troll? Disney+ is for gays and moms.
The show is pretty good but everyone in it is an awful actor except Ewan. It doesn't help that the dialogue is god-awful but Ewan is really the only person that looks like he's putting effort in. That indian guy was fricking awful as comic relief. Isn't he supposed to be a comedic actor, too?
>pretty good
There it is again
What do you want me to say? I'll call it kino if you want.
The casting for sure is terrible.
Jimmy Smits and Joel Edgerton are good too.
>Thanks to all the fans for making kenobi the most watched disney+ season 1 global series premier airing on a thursday in march between the GMT time of 9 and 10 in a year that ends with 4 based on how many times the studio donkey chewed a carrot.
NONBELIEVERS BTFO FOREVER AND EVER HOW CAN THEY RECOVER FROM THIS TRAGIC LOSS LOL GG NO RE
Leia makes the show a 10/10 in my eyes tbqhfam
Ewan sounds like Matt berry every time he talks
Kino
Does leia keep showing up or do I need to just prepare to fast forward through her awful young Sheldon dialogue?
I can never understand productions that decide to have a child-actor as one of the leads but don't put any effort into finding a child-actor that can actually act and getting a director that cares to spend the time getting a good performance out of them.
Like either put the effort in, or cut down their screentime.
They really went for the child looking like Fisher instead of a good actress. Though all side characters are just terrible in general this show
She's in first two and the leaks talked about her doing stuff we haven't seen yet.
Enjoy it while you can, you nostalgia baited your last character and have no likable characters of your own. This is the last profit disney makes from starwars.
Solid 4/10 show. Giving a 10 year old the reasoning skills and dialogue of a 16 year old is hilariously bad.
>Giving a 10 year old the reasoning skills and dialogue of a 16 year old is hilariously bad.
You have to understand, Disney thinks 10 year olds are mature enough to change their gender and consent to sex.
They should combine this tweet with their "don't be racist, chuds!" tweet.
>based on hours streamed
Wasn't this the only show to premiere with two episodes?
MORE UGLY BLACKS IN STAR WARS WOOOOO
I am a very tolerant person, I have nothing against blacks, homosexuals, transexuals, women or any other minority group chuds on Cinemaphile tend to shit on. But if you have a Disney+ subscription, I can't respect you as a person. I'm sorry, I just can't. What kind of person has a fricking Disney+ subscription? Netflix, Amazon Prime, HBO Max, fine, I get it they have some interesting shows, but Disney+? Why?
I know a guy that was an assistant manager at a fast food cookie shop who paid yearly for Disney plus
I like jerking off to Miraculous Ladybug and Kim Possible.
>release two episodes
>there are more hours streamed
whoa
Ok. So everyone watched the first episode out of curiousity. But how many are going to finish the series?
I mean, if you are paying for disney+, what else are you going to watch on there? It's such a strange ecosystem for a streaming service where they have virtually no competing new content whatsoever.
I'm watching like nothing but old shows. They have the entire Fox library so I've been binging X-Files and 24.
If it was doing so well why are they crying racist so hard?
It's pretty cruel of companies to pick dogshit diversity actors knowing they're gonna be thrown to the wolves like this. It's almost like 90% of the racial backlash wouldn't exist if you picked a black that could, I don't know, act?
Maybe double if they didn't force it in a show people were requesting for years?
They do this with every single movie and TV show they release. Have bots make racist posts, then go to war with them to drum up attention and get thousands of people to feel like they're fighting the good fight by consooming
>dont choose to be racist
but disney all i see is monke how am i NOT supposed to be racist
Don't forget they consider racism anyone criticizing any black or women actresses even if it's just "I don't think they're very good?"
Remember this playbook, amazon will be using it this fall
disney would never lie about numbers they only have access to
lets fire up those caveat
*original series
*globally
*hours streamed opening weekend
*holiday weekend
>most ever streamed
>time streamed on opening weekend
Bravo Disney marketing.
You haven`t won until you reach the last episode with those numbers though. If the views drop dramatically it may not be a victory at all...
First shot of Vader for those of you pretending you know when he shows up. he already did
I stopped giving a shit about SW a long time ago, but seeing clips of this show really made me realized how awesome it could have been to have an actual good SW tv series about Vader. A shame that at this point a good Disney SW show is about as likely as a Netflix medieval european history drama without a black person in it.
Reminds me of the articles around the HBO watchmen series where they claimed that it was the most successful and most watched series in the history of television but there are no current plans for a season two because reasons. These companies have gotten so big and influence the media to an extent that they can just blatantly lie and make media report the lies with threats of cutting them off from all future media if they don't.
This. They did the same shit with Lovecraft country so amazing, beloved, and a such a massive critical hit they never will make another one.
I want to thank the whole anonymous community for making this post the most-replied Cinemaphile post posted in a Tuesday of May after the pandemic, based on non-dubs posts posted in the following 30 minutes right after my original post.
We're making history, guys.
Kek
>wow this blew up!!
>This is my most upvoted comment!
>thanks for the reward kind stranger
>Paying for Disney+
>winning
>Parents have Hulu,Amazon prime and Disney plus
>Haven't watched or used any of them in years
I don't understand this
This is a great time to inform you guys that Reva is, in fact, the Jedi Youngling from the cold open from the first episode of Obi-Wan.
If they are gonna play race politics when we've loved black people in Star Wars since Lando then I will spend every waking moment spoiling this insultingly low-effort television show.
Also I am merely guessing since there are no leaks on this.
Its just obvious.
She wants revenge on Anakin for killing younglings and joined the empire to get close to him.
She will also inspire Obi-Wan to start the rebel resistance.
There I saved you 6 (insulting low number) of boobless episodes.
Feel free to spread pic related or not, I know you aren't my personal army.
what the frick is up with all the variables?
Maybe if they had been truthful in the marketing and name of the show and called it
>the tale of young Leah Organa
It wouldn’t have been. Biggest bate and switch in television history??
>Disney says Disney had the highest rated Disney show
Can this guy act at all? I thought he was bad in the prequels but maybe that was just the corny lines
They said that for every single disney+ show
>yay I get to consoom more trash!
Good for you I guess.