Or /coc/ thread if that's what you look for in the catalog.
Wiki:
https://the-conservatory.fandom.com/wiki/The_/co/nservatory_Wiki
Past threads:
https://desuarchive.org/co/search/text/the-conservatory%20wiki/type/op/
Weekly?
Or /coc/ thread if that's what you look for in the catalog.
Wiki:
https://the-conservatory.fandom.com/wiki/The_/co/nservatory_Wiki
Past threads:
https://desuarchive.org/co/search/text/the-conservatory%20wiki/type/op/
>How does this work?
>It works like a community toy chest. In the /coc/ threads you are free to post whatever ideas/settings/characters you want, but you have to be OK with other people playing with them (tweaking them, putting them in stories, using them for things, etc.)
>There's no guarantee that what you post will catch on either.
>If the OC you are posting is YOURS for something you are personally doing, then it would go to the "How is your webcomic?" threads.
>If you just want feedback on an OC of yours, then it would go in the "donut steel" threads or drawthreads.
If the thread dies suddenly or you still want to discuss something when there's no thread:
https://boards.plusCinemaphile/coc/
Last time:
-Doodles and new pics
-More of that sticc blonde prince (Jean) and thicc readhead (Morag)
-Crackdown discussion
-NTH on hold for two months
-Progress on the Highway Robbery comic
-Return of Rebound
-GG comic 'Keeping things in place'
-Other stuff I didn't mention
Damn, missed the get by one.
No _1?
It's the comic itself, which has already been posted by someone else.
I really like this artist.
please work on landing the gags
find balance between the coomer and the comedy
I LOVE /COC/!!!
same
Saw this template on the kino autism thread
What a pretty innocent pair...
I hear dramatic tense music coming from the background
Why horse so bad?
Now she has the spiky hair we all know and love
Studiously thought out breasts entering the room diagrams
Any /coc/ girls with tattoos? Any with dreadlocks?
Lila has a tattoo.
Cool.
Oh yeah. I forget about so many characters.
Look more like cornrows.
Strummer has tons of tattoos
HEY. MAGI34.
WTF is going on with your bird page?
Wait for the appeal?
Move to the SFW account?
Remake under new username?
Go full degen and move exclusively to Uohhhhhhhhh ToT webportals???
My timeline is in SHAMBLES. I need ANSWERS, GODDAMMIT.
(sorry for OT)
https://boards.plusCinemaphile/pco/t429618.html#p463380
So posting exclusively to +Cinemaphile now?
What is this supposed to mean?
No bugdoodles this weekend, drawpile gang didn't turn up.
Last time he mentioned /coc/ in my earshot he said the thread's "common consensus" on Ladybug had changed, which I take to mean something he didn't like was going on.
aww man.
Any guesses what he might have been referring to?
Magi's got a few pet peeves I'm aware of, but I'm not really sure and I wouldn't want to speculate. If he's on plus4 you might be able to ask him there.
A part of me believes that it might have something to do with Crackdown's creation, as it is the most recent ladybug-related thing, but, as far as I can tell, he hasn't been around for longer than that, so it might just be me blaming myself for something completely unrelated.
I'm pretty sure it's not that. The comment in question was from early March.
Thank God.
I feel like quite a number of anons ITT who are normally interested in Ladybug tend to have a mental block when it comes to him and that's totally fine, but I don't know what I would do if something I have created made someone like Magi to start avoiding /coc/.
I got suspended, but they did not specified the nature of violation and merely quoted the community guideline in its entirety. The first appeal was rejected they indicated that they have the right to suspend me without further notification.
I have a sfw account but I don't plan on doing anything with it for now. i am planning on organising my drawings and upload them to platform like pixiv and baraag.
I not entirely sure about specifics of that discussion, but when I referred to "consensus" it usually have something to do with my ability to understand the context of a discussion in the thread, and my lack of ability to follow it.
I don't actively avoid /coc/ thread, it has nothing to do with that. It has a lot more to do with my personal life and the mental haze it shrouds my head in than anything going on in the thread. There were people who complained elsewhere that my presence here discourages other to participate does give me pause from time to time but its a minor consideration.
>I don't actively avoid /coc/ thread, it has nothing to do with that. It has a lot more to do with my personal life and the mental haze it shrouds my head in than anything going on in the thread. There were people who complained elsewhere that my presence here discourages other to participate does give me pause from time to time but its a minor consideration.
Oh, sorry for assuming then.
From the way those posts above were written it's pretty easy to assume that it had something to do with that.
Glad you're still around.
Thank you for the clarification. The conversation was really starting to take a turn...
Enjoy your vacation, I guess. You'll be missed.
>I got suspended, but they did not specified the nature of violation and merely quoted the community guideline in its entirety.
Yeah that's been going around for a lot of people
Elon once again trying to just tank that site
So...
Anything on the agenda?
Step 1: Feed horse
Step 2: Horse sleeps outside tonight
Step 3: Make new doll
Were credit cards around much in the fifties?
Yes
Thanks
Trying to think up a bat credit card joke with a gold card
It's true. 7 out of 10 times I make the thread with any GG related pic it turns into shitpost central. There's also a GG thread up right now that's probably reinforcing that viewpoint.
I also debated on using the Rebound comic as the OP, but then we'd get fat/inflation fetishists. Then I thought about using one of SLA's comics from last thread, but then we'd get the cuck crowd.
So then I went with RLB's non-porn pic despite how many "fap to goblin" threads have been on Cinemaphile as of late. I figure the worst would just be anons asking for more goblin-ified characters, so it wouldn't force out one character over another if it came to that.
Greetings anons, and as in every thread, I'm pitching my idea for this week, enjoy!
>How to suvivre Y2K for the dumies
>Plot:
in the 80's a man created a doomsday cult for the end of the world in the new millennial or Y2K so He adopted three children to teach and train them how to survive in the apocalypse, he taught them basic self-defense and how to hunt for food and made them the perfect people to live in a destroyed.
and after almost 18 years the three children became grown-ups and went to face the end of the world But to their surprise, nothing happened on New Year's Eve of the year 2000, and now two guys and a woman with no social skills or proper education, are trying to survive in this New and strange world for them together.
from finding a job to exploring the Internet to politics.
>characters
>Carl the older brother, is a good hunter but a socially awkward person
>Carla: the middle sister, a very strong woman with a basic mindset and speaks in the third person
>Carlos: the younger sibling, master of snacking, and always silent (but not mute)
>Lana: their "landlord" She feels bad about them and lets them live in her Garden house
thanks and see you next week
fricking autocorrect
>Carlos: the younger sibling, master of sneaking, and always silent (but not mute)
Who is, in your opinion, the most compelling /coc/ character, if there even is one?
The one you actually appreciate beyond things like goofs 'n gaffs and sex appeal?
Maybe even the one that in your opinion has, daresay, actual depth or at the very least the potential to have one?
Most likely Cinemaphilelette
Can you elaborate?
I feel that she's a able to work as a hero inspiring to be a part of a greater good in honor of her sister who was trying to do the same and is able to have her own sex appeal that's subtle
>subtle
I dunno man, she was created from Cinemaphile's then fetishes.
Motion
I always liked the ideological parallel between Motion and the Livewires. It's not immediately obvious at a glance, but when you think about it, she did the same thing they're all doing. She saw a flaw in her body and went to great lengths to correct it, opposing the limitations of her physical nature with the power of science. Even if she's fighting them, she has to sympathize with them and understand the appeal.
I don't think I've seen this particular pic of Motion before.
Seems to be from a drawthread request in March.
Tried doodling Arthur's dog that I mentioned 2 threads ago.
She's actually very well-behaved.
Also, her name's Strelka.
When the dog food bowl hits the ground.
It barely barks and only gets as the bottom panel whenever there's a direct harm to it or the owner.
They are much alike in that regard.
Does it bark, or does it make some kind of other noise?
My post says that she does.
It even sounds rather normal.
Is this your dog?
I might do more own design takes on other coc project stuff if people are interested
That's a big boofer.
The bottom is actually supposed to be her "agitated state", she doesn't bare fangs without a good reason to, so she normally has that top side muppet look.
She doesn't like unicorns, clearly.
What's Cracky's living situation, anyway? He's got a weird dog he presumably keeps reasonably discreet. I guess with his power he can commute from pretty much anywhere, but still.
Well, considering her habit to straight-up dissapear into the timestream behind some sharp corner for up to several weeks, secrecy isn't really much of an issue.
I guess it makes her less of a pet and more of a lovecraftian animal friend that comes and goes as she pleases, but still sticks around for headscratches and to serve as a deus ex machina on occasion.
It also seems to understand the concept of secret identities, since it sometimes seems to dissapear specifically when someone's about to see her with Arthur.
Or maybe she does so on instinctual level?
The issue would less be leaving when she pleases and more reappearing when it's inconvenient, I think. But if she's in on the cape and cowl gig then I guess that solves that.
What about a hand puppet
Eh, Arthur has some issues with his noggin', but none of them are the ones that would make him want to play pretend like that.
>reappearing when it's inconvenient
It's alright, he got used to it.
At least it's some company and he appreciates it.
Well, not when it's in the middle of him taking a dump, but, you know, MOST of the time he appreciates it.
If this got remade, how many new characters would need to be added?
JackHammer and all of his supporting characters/villains.
There's been a lot of new bug doodle characters.
That list doesn't have all of the IKAG characters.
Probably more than a dozen off of the top of my head.
I’m glad people had a reaction to the Rebound Art I got last thread, both good and bad, so I’m probably gonna get another set of Comms soon. For a Character who’s basically been on ice for 3 years I liked that people actually remembered who she was. I’ve also updated the wiki page with the new stuff.
Does anyone want to get some scripting done? I feel like it’s been a while since we wrote stuff in thread. I know one anon wanted to go back over the GGu scripts we wrote awhile ago.
Which GGu scripts? The 90s ones or the 70s concepts?
The 90s ones.
Alright.
The Weapon Wonder
https://pastebin.com/nAp7r0xm
Tempering Bronze
https://pastebin.com/DieuVcLD
The task from Seltzr is to combine the two scripts into a two-parter. That likely means culling some stuff, but also embellishing it (like what has been done with the Bullion scripts). If we can compress it a bit, we might not need to cull too much. I didn't do any page or panel layouts in the descriptions since a pause was put on it shortly after I wrote them.
Another thing that needs to be added in is Reznor (civilian Side Step) in the background in various places as well as a scene at the end of it where he's recruiting the mall gang and his mother steps in as Pinprick asking him if he's going to introduce her to his new friends. It's the start of villains beginning to team up, which is going to be an overarching theme in the 90s setting.
I don't want him to have too much focus though since I don't want to set him up as a major character, just a recurring one.
Those are the major requested adjustments.
Rereading these I think the best way to cut down/make it easier for a two parter is two cut out/rework the soccer scene. It would probably be best to make it a less wordy montage with visual gags of different activities BB’s too violent at, so Audrey tries various different ones until finding the Flyer for Dave’s Dojo, it might be interesting to frame it as she takes flyers from a board trying every activity until she reaches the bottom where Dave’s Flyer is. I also think a montage would be the best place to sneak in SS, with him looking for “friends” at all of these activities but also deciding to follow the Hero Pair which leads him to seeing them fight the Mallrats eventually.
I remember there were some ideas anons were having for the demon guy. I think they wanted him to have a daughter around BB's age?
I'm worried that if it turns into a montage then it will undercut the original purpose of establishing the character dynamic between GGu and BB.
And are you saying that SS would figure out their secret identities? I was thinking he wouldn't show up until they were in the mall.
Was it you or someone else who wanted that line to be cut the last time we talked about this?
I do remember that line was on the chopping block.
And I never intended to turn GGu into a no-fun allowed school mom. She's more exasperated because she doesn't know how to deal with BB. You try to raise a child the way you were raised and when it doesn't work you're left scrambling for answers and then double down on what isn't working because it's all you know. That's how I approach it.
>I remember there were some ideas anons were having for the demon guy. I think they wanted him to have a daughter around BB's age?
Yeah that was me, but I’m trying to help recut this into flowing better. Out of everything I reread, it’s probably the easiest to remake since it seems out of place compared to everything else, at least in this story, doesn’t mean we can’t use it later though. I’m pretty sure we can just add in moments of their dynamic either during another fight scene or the first time Audrey takes Sydney to the Dojo if that’s a major concern of editing this scene.
I agree with you that SS shouldn’t learn their identities but I think I remember we had an idea where Civie SS was in Sydney’s class, so hiding him in the background de-masked I don’t think is a bad idea. Having his villain persona at the Mall still I think works out, but I was just trying to work your suggestion in of working SS into the background of the story more, I guess quite literally.
It’s wild to me that the Sensei Dave dialogue I wrote probably a few years back now is still untouched.
We won't reveal the red-haired kid is actually SS until the end. He'll put on the mask before approaching the mallrats and we'll see this random background character become the villain we've seen before.
Dave's dialogue being untouched is mostly because I have no idea how to write that character.
So if we're moving the soccer scene to somewhere else potentially (we could make that an issue on its own even), then what sorts of activities happen in this montage?
>We won't reveal the red-haired kid is actually SS until the end. He'll put on the mask before approaching the mallrats and we'll see this random background character become the villain we've seen before.
Cool, that’s what I figured but it’s always good to be clear on the subject.
>Dave's dialogue being untouched is mostly because I have no idea how to write that character.
If you need help with his dialogue I could probably point you to some media to help you on that, if not, I guess I can take point on writing his voice for the time being.
>So if we're moving the soccer scene to somewhere else potentially (we could make that an issue on its own even), then what sorts of activities happen in this montage?
If we’re saving soccer for later on, then we’ll need some new sports since sports just seem to be the safest way to get her aggression out from how I think Audrey would see it. My best ideas would be Basketball and Lacrosse since those are sports she can easily injure people in, and comedy is usually a rule of 3s, so we’ll need a third. Swimming might be hard to draw and Boxing seems pushing it, so my best idea for a third sport would be tennis.
Audrey knows how to box, maybe she pulls Sydney from boxing because she catches her with barbed wire wrapped gloves.
Do we want outright cheating/unsportsmanship or just over-aggression?
We could re-work the soccer thing into a school issue that sets up whoever else goes to Sydney's school.
>Do we want outright cheating/unsportsmanship or just over-aggression?
I don’t think Sydney’s that crazy or petty to cheat overtly at tryouts unless you want to go that direction. I think over-aggression is probably the best route, like she elbows a tall kid in the chin in basketball when they won’t get out of her personal space for example. It could be a funny gag where we set up the scene of Audrey and Sydney at the Bulletin Board looking at activities and Sydney picks out Boxing, with Audrey taking it out of her hands saying something like “Let’s find something more beginner friendly before jumping into this, okay?” I think Audrey knows Sydney would be fine in boxing but she’s more worried about the safety of the other kids.
We could re-work the soccer thing into a school issue that sets up whoever else goes to Sydney's school.
That honestly sounds like a good idea, we needed another idea for the next script anyway.
I came up with something relating to boxing.
Audrey tries to teach Sydney how to box personally, in their auto garage place so it's just them. Audrey's in her stance, she's explaining to Sydney how to throw a punch, she's punching the punching bag (breasts swinging a little of course).
She turns to Sydney and sees her punching bag is all torn up and Sydney is hiding her gloves behind her back (wrapped with barbed wire).
Audrey looks at the ruined punching bag and says "Maybe we should try something more controlled first." and then brings her to Dave.
Yeah that works, checks off all of the boxes on what the soccer scene did but condensed so it gives us wiggle room to combine the scripts more.
So do you still want a sports montage, or do you just want to use that scene to replace the soccer one?
Compression would favor the latter I suppose.
What do you think about a fake ad page between the two scripts?
>So do you still want a sports montage, or do you just want to use that scene to replace the soccer one?
Yeah just replace the montage.
>What do you think about a fake ad page between the two scripts?
Yeah that would work if we’re not just making it 2 issues. Might be fun to make it an in-universe ad, like a more detailed version of Sensei Dave’s Flyer or an Ad for the New or the Community College Mad Scientist Black Market.
Sensei Dave's dojo is called Breaking Waves, right?
Would it be something outrageous like him on a surfboard punching a shark? That'd be in stark contrast to how the man actually is. Or would it be him on top of a mini tower of martial arts?
I remember Seltzr saying he wants to do The New script after the one we're currently discussing.
If it's an ad featuring The New then it'd need sparkles in it to connect to the sparkles in the eyes of the thief in the first half since The New's influence is what compelled him to steal.
>Sensei Dave's dojo is called Breaking Waves, right? Would it be something outrageous like him on a surfboard punching a shark? That'd be in stark contrast to how the man actually is. Or would it be him on top of a mini tower of martial arts?
Logos for businesses are usually simple, and to get across the Martial Arts angle, I think a Stylized Guy in a Karate Gi and Bandana on a surfboard riding inside a rolling wave would work.
>I remember Seltzr saying he wants to do The New script after the one we're currently discussing. If it's an ad featuring The New then it'd need sparkles in it to connect to the sparkles in the eyes of the thief in the first half since The New's influence is what compelled him to steal.
It needs something like a family with sparkles in the eyes as the centerpiece, with a tagline like, “Want to see the Newest Rage taking the World by Storm? Then you need… etc. (Brought to you by!)”, then we make it look like the ad is falling apart so you don’t get the New’s name and his full design. It should be a fun teaser but not spoil his whole deal.
So it'd be more like him punching a wave.
Could be that Sensei Dave's ad is actually the smallest ad on the page and the rest of it is taken up by whatever The New is marketing, but the bottom half has been cut away since Dave's is the one Audrey was interested in.
Yeah I imagine the Karate Surfer is just doing one of the various karate poses you find on Google Images while shredding a wave on his board .
Yeah that sounds good, like the New Ad was the flyer on top of Dave’s so it’s been ripped up a bit so you can clearly make out the Dojo Ad.
Dave doing a stock karate pose with a wave behind him and some kind of radical saying to be eye catching plastered above it with the location and number below.
Below this there's the rest of The New ad where his upper body is torn off leaving just the people with the products at his feet since The New must be large in all ads he's in.
I personally don’t think Dave should be in his own logo, I think it should be a generic Karate Guy since I always imagined he inherited the Dojo, with it going back a few generations, even though it’s a Mall Dojo. It also plays off of the “Mr. Sensei Dave was my father” joke. I think we’ve talked about it before, but I love the idea of Dave just having a very super elaborate backstory we just never see.
>Its good dialogue
Thank you, it’s just was off the cuff dialogue I only wrote so anons could get a feel for his personality/how he talks, so I never imagined it would be used in an issue itself.
Maybe he took over the dojo from someone else in the past and just never bothered to update any of the advertising? Mall shops change hands sometimes too.
I thought you (or someone) wanted to nix the "Mr. Sensei Dave was my father" joke.
I worked the dialogue into the script because it was well received in the threads on top of me having a hard time pinning this dude down.
OK, so the next thing to do with the scripts is probably begin to organize them better, get suggested page and panel layouts going and embellish the heck out of it. That's how I often find out what can be trimmed down and what needs better focus.
I'll try to do that this week, after I'm done with getting my tooth fixed and work. Or maybe tomorrow depending on how the day goes.
Time to put some of that Bullion writing experience to task.
>I thought you (or someone) wanted to nix the "Mr. Sensei Dave was my father" joke.
That’s not me, I think that’s the anon who doesn’t like the joke because of Audrey’s dialogue(?), though I’m not really sure, I thought it was fit both characters.
>I'll try to do that this week, after I'm done with getting my tooth fixed and work. Or maybe tomorrow depending on how the day goes. Time to put some of that Bullion writing experience to task.
Hope it goes well anon, glad you’re Bullion experience is coming in handy. If you need any help, just let us anons in thread know.
I'll either post updates as I'm doing it or update one of the pastebins for more comprehensive scrutiny/editing/rewriting suggestions. The bulk of the writing work is already done with the outline, it's just a matter of rearranging things.
I don't know what kind of page count Seltzr wants for it, and the scripted layouts are going to just be suggestions since he likes to add in and tweak stuff as he draws. If nothing else it will give us an idea of how long it currently is combined and how much more we need to trim out.
Anyway, goodnight everyone.
I imagined a scenario where Sydney and Reznor become friends as civvies, but BB doesn't know who SS is.
They get in another fight as hero/villain and SS's identity is revealed, but he gets really hurt in the process (maybe something that causes permanent damage). BB is too committed to being a hero and feeling betrayed so she hardens herself to his suffering. This kinda helps set her down the path we want her to go.
We'll need to cover that in the school issue.
What do you think of the discussed changes so far to the next script?
its a lot to think about.
I like reworking the soccer scene.
I think we should tell the story visually as much as possible. It is a comic after all.
>It’s wild to me that the Sensei Dave dialogue I wrote probably a few years back now is still untouched.
Its good dialogue
Right now the replacement scene to trim down the script is
Does that idea work for you?
The soccer scene would be moved to a different script, likely a school focused one.
Something that's bugged me about this script for ages:
>Dave: "Enchante! Have we met before? I feel I know you from the old surf scene. And please, just Sensei Dave is fine. Mr. Sensei Dave is my father."
>A (thinking): "His father is also a sensei named Dave?"
Audrey's line needs to be reworded and turned into out-loud playful sassiness. As it is, it's clearly part of the whole "Imma turn GGu into a clueless no-fun schoolmarm because I'm still a bitter c**t that you guys wouldn't let me make her into an edgelord in the first place" problem with the BB era stuff.
I was unaware of the long live of sensei daves that came before him
can i get a story on the "Imma turn GGu into a clueless no-fun schoolmarm because I'm still a bitter c**t that you guys wouldn't let me make her into an edgelord in the first place"
Basically:
>anon keeps trying to push a 90s GG who's super edgy
>gets a massive amount of pushback because that's a terrible idea
>eventually a compromise is reached where GGu gets a sidekick in the 90s, leading the creation of Bronze Buster
>early BB-era greentexts and outlines continually characterize GGu as stiff, clueless, out of touch, and generally a no-fun-allowed type, completely at odds with how she's actually supposed to be
Whole thing smacked of petty character-assassination revenge.
go back over the scripts?
You mean that guy editing the Bullion stuff?
Really hope we get more Bullion art it's been a while.
Goodnight everyone.
I'm pretty sure I've said this before but I still think a good reference for Audrey and Sydney would be the 2004 She Hulk run where she mentored Southpaw for a few issues.
Is GGu equal to She-hulk in strength or a little weaker?
So you know how GG is supposed to be a comic book in the /coc/ universe? I've personally always considered it GGu's to be the She Hulk equivalent.
Wonder how a death battle would go.
Probably She-hulk only because she's got actual feats.
I can't bet on anything yet till we get more comics on GGu.
Equal at a minimum. GGu's THE A-lister in her book's universe, so she's pretty damn strong.
There's an active GG thread, BTW.
Yes, that was pointed out earlier.
Is it a shitshow? At a glance, yes.
Thicker black lines do really make a difference
If he were animated he'd have Ed Edd n' Eddy wiggling outlines.
He knows cupid magic?
He's a magicial boy, a very untapped market. Why do only the girls get to have all the fun
Among /coc/ heroes, which would be most likely to engage in casual drug use? I've got a half-germinated idea here.
More like extensive.
Is she really a hero? She's a government spook, isn't she?
Still, definitely a druggie... I'll keep her on tap.
She fights monsters and protects people.
That's about the same level of heroism as a firefighter.
I can't help but think of Cinemaphilentainment as significantly shadier than firefighters, though I understand anons involved with them want to avoid the "three letter agency with no oversight does horrible shit because they can" trope.
It's one of the things where the general culture has changed a lot since its inception.
But I have a hard time imagining any of the characters involved being very good at being legitimate glowies.
Though I wish there were more stories about Strumer being a bad, but well meaning, influence on other characters in Britainment. Like the idea that she inspires one of the Season Girls (I think Spring) to get tattoos.
She's probably a bit like Hobie in the new Spider-Verse. She plays along with the organization, but acts in opposition to the management when they're being real capital G Government agents.
A core aspect of Cinemaphilentainment is they're fully transparent. Everyone knows what they're up to if they bother asking.
In a world where there's super powers, there's no point being that obsessively secretive with their operations.
This template reminds me, what was the name of those threads that had people create their own superheroes with a stats template?
Those were different than those threads where people went to that site for random powers, right?
Yeah
They had their own thing where they would make their own hero in a expanding setting
Supocalypse?
There's been a lot of different iterations of the "roll for superpower" threads.
There isn't one name. There were like, four or five different things that used that style, all in a row, because each one would live for a while, have drama or burnout, then crash and get replaced by a new one with a new premise run by a new person. I'm honestly surprised nobody's tried it again with one of the template sheets yet after the Cinemaphileheroes one ran its course.
Luv punk girls, simple as.
I'll confess, the thing about her and the Spring Herald getting inked together after becoming buds is be magical realm-ing a bit.
Punk girls are the true heroines of the world.
Yeah, In the 2000s probably. Now it's oversaturated.
Good thing I'm completely out of touch with the modern world!
The older days were fine though so I understand punk appeal.
Not sure
I'd say oversaturated.
Watered down might be good way to say it.
Theres a fair share of punk in look only
Always considered this Strummer's theme.
Depends how hard we're talking. If it's just weed then basically any character could be written as liking a spliff now and then. I mean, it's not exactly a game changer in people's opinions of others these days.
Hard enough to try a new designer drug and go on a rampage in an altered state of mind.
Question: should I bother writing a script if about 3/5 of it is a lengthy, mostly silent fightscene or should I just try and draw a wip comic to the best of my limited ability?
If you have the capacity to draw it, that might be more satisfying for you.
Writing fight scenes out in text form is a fun exercise I've found since you have to think of ways to make the text more exciting while describing the blows.
In my eyes Britainment is more like Hellsing (the 2001 anime version, not the manga) than a true three letter operation.
I love the 2001 anime so much. Never really liked the manga or Ultimate.
I'm not familiar with Hellsing, but I always got the impression it was very edgy. Am I misconstruing things?
It is endearing kind of edgy.
The manga and Ultimate is egdy, but it's so dumb it's kind of endearing.
The 2001 anime is really different, since it was written by the same guy who did Lain and Texhnolyze. It's kinda moody and pretty occult, especially after they finish where the manga got to by that point.
Plus the soundtrack slaps.
So I'm re-working the Weapon Wonder/Tempering Bronze scripts currently. This is where I'm at.
Page 1
Panel 1:
Establishing shot of Platinum City bank. The bank is on a street corner, there are pillars all around it supporting a built in awning for shade. It’s an old building that’s been part of the city since before the roads were even paved. The panel is tall to lead the eyes down. There are three robbers exiting the bank. Two of them are armed, one of them is carrying the sack of money. Two men, one woman. One man has a fivehead (receding hairline/widow’s peak) and is muscular and short, barrel chested. The other man is tall and skinny with a big lock of hair on the top of his head, he’s carrying the money with an awkward stride to his step. The woman looks rough and tumble, she’s slightly muscular and just as thuggish as the other two despite the longer hair. It’s those three thugs that were designed a while ago.
Narration at the top of the panel: “Platinum City Bank...”
The panel leads the eyes down, the robbers might not be too detailed in it.
Panel 2:
They're outside their getaway car, something like a dodge caravan with a wood finish. The windshield is cracked and the paint is peeling, it’s seen better days. The short barrel chested one is opening the door for the guy carrying the bag of money.
Narration: “Is being robbed!”
Miney, the woman thug, is waving her gun, gesturing for the lanky man to hurry up: "Move! Let's go! Let's go!"
Meeny: "Hurry up!"
Moe: "It's heavy!"
Panel 3:
As the door opens we see Bronze Buster is sitting in the diver's seat just chilling, her feet kicked up on the steering wheel and a throwing star between each of her fingers on her right hand. Her left hand is tipping her shades up.
BB: “’bout time you guys got here.”
cont.
Panel 4:
The angle is from the side, we’re seeing part of the car from the front. The crook holding the bag of money is holding it up to protect his face as a barrage of ninja stars are flying out of the open car door into the sack of money. The force of the storm of stars causes him to stumble backwards. The other two have leaped to the side out of the line of fire.
Page 2
Panel 1:
More of an aerial view, like we’re standing on top of the car’s hood looking down off of the side. The robber with the sack has fallen on his ass, still holding the sack in front of his face with a dozen ninja stars stuck in it (he's in shock from a near death surprise). His two cohorts are looking down at him.
Meeny: “Moe!”
Miney: “The money!”
Panel 2:
Similar to the previous panel, but now Meeny and Miney have their guns drawn on BB. Moe is peaking up from behind the money back, he’s lowered it slightly, his eyes are bulging as he’s looking up at what’s behind them. Unbeknownst to Meeny and Miney, Golden Guardian has appeared behind them, she’s steeped in shadow, breasts as big or bigger than their heads, her arms are outstretched so one hand is to the outside side of each of their heads.
Panel 3:
The angle from GGu’s side, looking at the back of the crooks as she knocks Meeny and Miney’s heads together. There’s a big star behind the impact.
Panel 4:
BB hops out of the car and is thrilled that they've thwarted another crime. She’s putting a fist up into the air and leaping.
BB: "Woohoo! That was so cool!"
(We could scrap this panel, but I still want to show BB excited over the violence she just witnessed from GGu, an expression of genuine enthusiasm/joy/admiration)
cont.
Panel 5:
Meeny and Miney have collapsed on top of Moe, pinning him there under the sack of money. GGu is knelt down cuffing them. BB's playing with one of the stars in her hand. Either somehow spinning it like a basketball on her fingertip (SOMEHOW) or shuffling it between her fingers like a gambler with a playing chip/coin.
GGu: "We talked about the stars, BB. You could've killed this man with them."
BB: "Yeah, and? He's a bank robber. No mercy."
Panel 6:
GGu is reaching across the panel and plucking the star out of BB’s hand. She’s leaned over a little to do it.
GGu: "We don't kill people, young lady."
(The angle in this panel could be different, maybe more from BB’s perspective where she’s surprised by how quickly it happen?)
Page 3
Panel 1:
Audrey is in a stretched out hoodie and jogging shorts, her clothing struggles to contain her, but it’s a fight they don’t plan on loosing today. She’s wearing boxing gloves and has done up her hair in a ponytail to keep it from being a distraction. She’s hopping from foot to foot to loosen up. Behind her Sydney is wearing a looser hoodie that slacks down on top of her shorts, she’s looking down at herself and the boxing gloves she has on as if she’s comparing herself with Audrey. They’re in a mechanic garage with the tools hung up neatly on the walls and out of the way.
Narration: “At Audrey and Sydney’s home: The Gilded Page Body Shop”
Audrey: “OK, Sydney, let’s work on your aggression today. I’ll walk you through how to do this properly, step-by-step.”
cont.
And that's where I'm at with the arranging. Just wanted to see if I'm on the right track with this so far.
Panel 2:
Audrey is throwing a punch. The impact is immense and the punching back is rippling from the shock of it as it swings back on the chain. She isn’t even wearing the magic bracers. Sydney is in the background sitting on a stool gripping it with her gloves on it in front of her. She’s leaning back making an “Ooooo” face.
Audrey: “Let’s start with something basic, like how to throw a PUNCH.”
The speech bubble starts at the top left of the page, but then there’s a line that goes over to the right side of the page where the impact is happening with the word “PUNCH” in it.
Panel 3:
Sydney has her gloves up and Audrey is standing behind her with her hands on Sydney’s shoulders. Sydney is nodding eagerly.
Audrey: “Now remember, you lean into your punches, not away. Boxing is more than just punching, remember where your legs are.”
Panel 4:
The punching bag is torn up like a wild animal was trying to claw its way through it, sand is leaking from it, making a pile on the floor below it. Audrey is looking at the punching bag with one hand to her chin. Sydney is sheepishly looking away, hiding her gloves behind her back which are now wrapped with barbed wire.
Audrey: “Hmm. Maybe we should start with your self-control.”
OK, half my face is still numb from the novocaine and I sound like I'm having a stroke. It's going to feel like I bit down on a crowbar once this wears off.
So, distraction time.
Page 4
Panel 1:
Audrey and Sydney are at the Platinum City Mall. It’s a large, spacious, multi-story building. The shopping area is fully enclosed with multiple skylights and a fountain on the ground floor surrounded by plants with dual escalators flanking the zone. Audrey and Sydney are riding the escalator up to the second level. Audrey is holding a piece of paper and is looking around, she’s wearing a sundress and a wide brim hat with rounded shades. Totally inconspicuous. Sydney is wearing a ripped up jeans and a t-shirt with a band logo on it that’s too big for her, but she’s tied the slack off in a knot to the side. Sydney is lifting herself up using the moving railing looking around, scooping the scene.
Sydney: "I know there's a reason we're here. I got something new try!"
Panel 2:
Audrey is standing in front of a mall dojo with a large glass wall so you can see the training area inside. The sensei looks like a retired hippy and is sporting a beard, but he looks jovial as he's doing a motion for the kids to imitate. We can see at least two of the kids – One looks like Riley Freeman with his cornrows and another is bald, but has HUGE eyebrows.
Panel 3:
A gang of delinquents have burst from the shop a few doors down from the dojo, they're all clutching boxes while riding on skateboards, and they’re all wearing hoodies and torn jeans. Each of them has the same gang emblem on their clothes somewhere (we need to decide what it looks like, suggestions are open). Some are wearing masks, others just have their hoodies up around their heads, but they all have sparkles around their heads. The shop owner is in the doorway yelling after them.
Shop worker/owner: "Stop, thieves!"
cont.
Panel 4:
Audrey has lowered the piece of paper she was looking at. Her eyes have narrowed, she’s turned to the side to address Sydney, but there’s just an outline of where she was having already took off.
Audrey: “You ready, Sydney- Oh, she’s already gone.”
Panel 5:
BB is in the middle of the panel cracking a whip with a gleeful look on her face. The thieves are parting around her, falling off of their skateboards and eating the ground.
Page 5
Panel 1:
In the foreground, GGu is lifting one of the thieves up off of the ground by their collar, he’s still clutching the box he stole for dear life, the sole sparkle around his head looks like it was crumpled like yesterday’s newspaper. In the background another of the thieves is running into the dojo. Sensei Dave is standing in the doorway with his students behind him, mostly to keep them from going out to look at the commotion. He’s gently waving the kids back further into the dojo.
Dave, in a very chill tone: "OK kids, move to the back of the dojo."
Mall rat theif: “Move it, old man!”
Panel 2:
Up close shot of Sensei Dave, there’s a rippling, glowing water-like aura coming off of him as he’s raised a single hand in front of himself. His expression is still perfectly calm/chill.
Panel 3:
The thief is sent stumbling away from the dojo with streaming lines showing his movement down and away from Sensei Dave who is now in like a mantis stance. He clearly just struck him, but we don’t actually see the impact. GGu is off to the side looking impressed.
GGu (thinking): “He seems like the real deal.”
Panel 4:
BB is using her whip to tie up one of the crooks, she has a foot digging into his back as leverage to tighten the binding around him.
cont.
Panel 5:
GGu is standing in front of BB who is holding the end of the whip up, expecting GGu to take it from her. BB is looking to the side and also a little shocked over what GGu is saying. The thief is still trying to reach for the stolen box, sparkles around his eyes still twinkling.
GGu: "Nice work, Bronze Buster. You really whipped em good." (need a better whip pun maybe).
Panel 6:
GGu is walking away with her back turned towards BB, BB is grinning like a mad person as she pushes a hidden button on the whip handle. She’s watching GGu’s back as she walks away and not the thief tied up being shocked by the electricity coming out of the whip. The sparkles around the thief are now burnt and blackened, crumbling to dust as he’s being shocked.
Page 6
Panel 1:
Audrey has her hands on Sydney's shoulders. Audrey is smiling, Sydney has a hand outstretched in protest. They are in front of the mall dojo Breaking Waves.
Narration: “The next day...”
Sydney: "Oh come on! This is a place for babies!"
Panel 2:
Sensei Dave is in the forefront with his hands behind his back. Audrey is extending her arm in greeting, expecting a handshake. Sydney is standing to the side, perplexed.
Dave: "Welcome Sydney, I'm Sensei Dave. I look forward to instructing you in the art of Bullshido." (yeah, we still need to make his lines more surfer dude like)
Sydney (thinking): "What did he just say?"
Audrey: "Nice to meet you, Mr. Sensei Dave. I'm Audrey, Sydney's guardian."
Panel 3:
Dave is doing a bow and kissing Audrey's hand, Audrey has her other hand to her mouth in coy playful bashfulness. She’s humoring his antics. Sydney is rolling her eyes.
Dave: "Enchante! Have we met before? I feel I know you from the old surf scene. And please, just Sensei Dave is fine. Mr. Sensei Dave is my father."
Audrey: "Oh, do you come from a long line of Sensei Daves?"
cont.
And that's where I'm at. The first of the two scripts has been boiled down to 6 pages. There's probably more compression or expansion to be done here, but this is the pacing draft. Later I'll continue with the Tempering Bronze script.
Panel 4:
Behind Dave the kid with the cornrows just broke a board in half with his bear hands and is intensely staring in Sydney's direction. He's younger than Sydney and gesturing for her to bring it on. As if he somehow heard Sydney’s previous comment out this place being for babies.
Panel 5:
Close up of Sydney who's eyes have narrowed in excitement and her frown has turned upside-down.
Sydney: "OK. Sounds fun! When do I get to start breaking boards?”
Ad page for the dojo goes here.
Page 7
A full page ad for the Breaking Waves dojo. There’s a generic karate man doing a chop as a wave crashes in the direction he’s facing. The ad itself has a ripped off page on top of it with only part of the bottom half of the other ad visible. There’s a pair of long legs with people down at the feet, all holding things. Things like appliances, toys, and knickknacks. One person is holding up a box, another playing with hacky sacks, and someone lining up the not-beanie babies on a self. All of them have sparkles around their eyes. Part of the torn off upper text is still visible reading “DON’T YOU DESERVE THE BEST?”
Or we could make it an ad for the new blood or chewing gum. Or scrap the page if we need to trim down.
Page 8
Panel 1:
Sensei Dave is standing sage like with one arm behind his back and the other one in front of him with a finger pointing up. Sydney is looking eager in her new karate gi, with both her hands up balled into fists bouncing with anticipation.
Dave: "Patience Sydney, first you need to learn STUFF."
Sydney: "Like-"
Panel 2:
Dave strikes several poses in rapid succession, visually it looks like he has extra arms with that mystical water aura coming off of his main body, like a Hindu statue. Each of the extra arms has a spiky speech bubble near them, but in the center Dave still looks like his chill self making the namaste symbol with his hands.
Dave: "Starter's. Training. Unified. Fighting. Fundamentals! Or just stuff."
Sydney: "Cool!"
Dave: "No, you’re not ready for the advanced technique of COOL just yet, let’s start you off with the basics, maybe with something like DUDE."
The character limit kills me with this.
Panel 3:
Dave is doing a double fisted uppercut, behind him it looks like a wave is splashing upwards like it just hit a high wall with water droplets spaying all around him. Beside Dave Sydney is trying to copy him, but the water behind her is just limply cresting without any break to it.
Dave: "Dual uppercut decking excellence!"
Sydney: "I can’t wait to use this to pulverize baddies in a fight!"
Panel 4:
Dave is back to looking relaxed and smiling with his hands back behind his back. Sydney's enthusiasm is looking a little curbed and she's looking just a little confused.
Dave: "Well, first off my duderino, “pulverize” is a no bueno word to use in this bodacious temple of a dojo, use good vibe words like “influence” or “impact”.
Sydney: "Ok, so... Are you going to teach me how to ‘influence’ baddies then?"
Dave: “Patience my little tidal break, I’m getting there. Secondly, the art of Bullshido is one of patience, one of determination, just like that of a fighting bull.
Panel 5:
Dave is stepping to one side. He’s doing something like the Kamaro dance from Majora's Mask, but these are stances to establish solid footwork. Sydney is trying to mimic the poses Dave is making. Behind them there’s an image of a bull thrusting its head upwards.
Dave: "The bull never is the instigator, only the retaliator. So when you’re in a fight, which my little dude you should never ever start, you can use the “Bull in a Bush” Technique to defend yourself
Sydney: "Then Sensei, how can I use this technique to destr... I mean ‘impact’ my instigators?"
Panel 6:
Dave is just pretending to surf in place with Sydney still mimicking him. Behind them they are inside the blue room of a massive wave.
SD: "Well my little Moondoggy, this will be as important as riding that Tsunami in ‘76 right through the entire East Indies, to properly carry out this technique you need to..."
Page 9
Panel 1:
Dave is in front of the whole class who are all mimicking him and striking poses to get muscle memory going.
Panel 2:
Sydney is striking many poses, her water aura is barely anything compared to Dave's and her extra hands (to show motions) are still much closer to her body to indicate she has only just begun to learn the techniques.
Sydney: "Wow Sensei Dave, I’ve never thought about moving like this before... If I keep this up, will I be as good as you?"
Dave: "Yes Sydney, follow the core tenants of Bullshido, and you too can move like the gnarliest waves when put up against the wall...
Panel 3:
We begin a montage here, so most of the panels should be small. This does not happen over the course of just one day, but several. The montage can take the shape of waves cresting and bobbing maybe.
Sydney is training with the other kids doing punches in unison with them.
Panel 4:
Sydney eats the floor after the cornrows kid she was sparring with dodges. Dave is squatted down beside her as she rubs her face. The kid in the background looks smug about it. Dave is giving her a reassuring smile though.
Dave: “So my little Kahuna, up for some of the finest ‘zza this side of the Nail Salon?”
Panel 5:
Sydney is eating pizza with Dave and the other kids, they are all sitting on the floor around a very low table, she's kind of grumpy looking, but there’s a long line of cheese stretching from his slice of pizza.
Panel 6:
Sydney breaks a board with her bare hands. The splinters are stilling hanging in the air from the break. Sydney looks ecstatic and Dave is nodding approvingly off to the side.
Panel 7:
Sydney standing in a fighting pose, bent knees and spread legs, the cornrows kid is the one eating the floor this time. The implication is she redirected his momentum to make him fall.
Page 10
Panel 1:
Sydney and the cornrows kid bow to each other, there is now mutual respect established. Audrey is in the background looking in through the entrance, she's smiling since it looks like Sydney is starting to get it. Audrey is dressed in her mechanic overalls this time.
Dave: "And that's it for today."
Panel 2:
Audrey is entering the dojo waving to Sydney who looks excited. She's kicking the air. Dave is in the background stroking his beard thinking.
Audrey: "I had some work out by the mall and thought I'd see how things were going."
SY: "Wacha! This place is tight! Sensei Dave knows some awesome moves!"
Panel 3:
A very small panel, it’s a close up of a mall alarm going off. Maybe Audrey turning to look at it dramatically with serious shading?
Panel 4:
Another small panel of Audrey turning back to Sydney, but she has already ninja vanished.
Audrey: "Sydney-! She's good at disappearing."
Panel 5:
A bunch of mallrats are in the middle of a heist. They’ve smashed the front display window, some of them are walking out holding boxes. Some of them are wearing hoodies some of them are wearing trench coats. The leader has thick green tinted cyber shades on and grill teeth that spells "KING", he’s pointing in a direction for his gang to move in. There are sparkles around him, but they’re more subdued than the ones from earlier. (Should he have a gun? Does the gang look too dull? Maybe they need an outlandish theme. This is something we still need to discuss.)
King Mallrat: "Grab it all, we ain't letting this mall off easy now."
Page 11
Panel 1:
Bronze Buster is grinding down from the mall's second story on the hard light rails her shoes emit (there should probably be some kind of explanation for them sooner than later, or at least some exposition for what they do), the rails are curved and her center of gravity is low (so hunched down for speed) She's smiling, looking confident.
Panel 2:
BB crashes shoes first into King Mallrat's face, breaking half of his visor shades and cutting him across one side of his face. He’s falling backwards as she’s kicking off of him.
Panel 3:
BB has landed and she's already doing a sweeping leg kick to trip up one of the gang members. The gang is currently in shock over the attack, so they haven’t reacted yet.
Panel 4:
BB has a different mallrat in an arm hold like she's trying to dislocate his shoulder, but the gang has their wits back about them and are surrounding her.
Panel 5:
BB gets punched in the back. There’s a big spikey pain splash behind it. She’s let go of the gang member an is falling forward, teeth clenched, one eye shut, the other bulging.
Panel 6:
Another gang member is swinging at her, but BB has put her arms up to block using her forearms. It still smarts.
Page 12
Panel 1:
BB is surrounded on all sides by the mallrat gang. She has her arms up, but we can still see one of her eyes, like a dangerous animal that’s being backed into a corner. One gang member is pointing at her while the leader has his arm up in a fist.
Gang member "Hey, that’s the runt who whipped our guys last week!"
KM: “Payback’s gonna be a b***h for you!” (Need a better line).
Panel 2:
Top down view of BB, maybe with a fish-eyed lens effect to show the circle of enemies surrounding her. She no longer looks totally confident, but she does look determined.
BB (thinking): "Crap, what did Sensei Dave say for times like this?"
Panel 3:
BB dodges a punch using that weird dance move from earlier. She’s down low, bobbing like the waves.
BB (thinking): "Ride the waves and break like the rocks. Yeah, I can do this!"
Panel 4:
BB gets punched in the back again and stumbles. She has too many blind spots.
Panel 5:
BB dodges again and causes one of the gang members to hit their own people.
Panel 6:
BB tanks a punch to the face. Tanks as in it doesn't send her reeling.
Panel 7:
Another gang member has grabbed her from behind, locking her arms. The rest are menacingly closing in. King mallrat is popping a switchblade.
KM: "Now the fun can start!"
Page 13
Panel 1:
GGu has dropped down from above, one fist on the ground, she's looking up and she's pissed. (should this be more panels to show the landing and the immediate shift in tension?)
Panel 2:
GGu is standing up right and the circle of mallrats has already broken, scattering off in different directions. They've already let go of BB. KM looks absolutely terrified. The mallrats are in a total panic as they flee the scene. They drop the goods to run faster, the sparkles have all cracked in half. King Mallrat is also running, but backwards and shouting. There are bystanders watching this in the background. One is a kid with red hair, shaking his head disapprovingly with a conspicuous large square bulging from one of his sweater pickets.
Gang member: “Ah hell no.”
KM: “My beef with you ain't over shorty, not by a long shot!”
Panel 3:
GGu is still standing there, menacingly. BB is pointing at the fleeing gang, grabbing GGu’s arm and tugging.
BB: "Hey, they're getting away!"
GGu: "Bronze..."
Panel 4:
GGu has snapped back to mother hen mode and has a hand on BB's chin and another on the top of her head. She's looking at her injuries.
GGu: "That must hurt. You need to sto-"
BB: "I didn't use any weapons."
Panel 5:
GGu looks taken aback while BB is smiling even with the big bruise on her face. She has her arms up eagerly looking up to her mentor.
BB: "I still have a long way to go before I can fight bare handed like you."
Panel 6:
GGu looks like she can't decide if she should laugh or scold her ward as she runs a hand through her own hair. BB looks shocked, one hand up in shock, the other miming her holding a weapon.
GGu: "Bronze, that's not what I meant at all with this training. You can still use weapons."
BB: "Seriously?! In that case I would've started with the tonfas and gone for their throats, then I would've-"
Page 14
Panel 1:
Sydney is sitting off to the side in the dojo, she’s slumped forwards, chin resting on her hands, she looks bored or resigned. She has a big bruise on her cheek and some bandages on her face. Dave is sitting next to her giving her a lecture, or trying to.
Narration: “A few days later...”
Dave: "Life is like the ocean, Sydney, it has waves. Hanging ten down the face of them is sweet, but paddling to the top takes a lot of hard work and patience."
Sydney (thinking): "So this will pay off eventually, but I need to keep my weapons handy as a backup."
Panel 2:
Elsewhere, king mallrat looks exhausted, he’s sweating and wheezing, huffing as he looks up at his opponent, the rest of his gang are sitting on the floor around him, worn out. He has stitches on the side of his face from where BB kicked him.
Narration box: “Elsewhere...”
KM: “Man, who the hell do you think you are?”
Panel 3:
Reznor, the boy with the red hair from the background earlier is standing in the middle of the room surrounded by the worn out gang.
Reznor: “Not a nobody like you.”
Panel 4:
King mallrat is looking up, with his fists on the ground, he’s angry, but he can’t do shit other than talk shit.
KM: “You little punk!”
From off panel: “That’s enough, Reznor. Don’t you think it’s time you introduce mommy to your new friends?”
Panel 5:
Reznor is holding up a spiral mask he’s putting over his face revealing himself to be Sidestep and Pinprick is revealed in the shadows sitting on a large crate.
Reznor: “Yes… Mommy… Pinprick.”
Pinprick: “I think we can use them.”
To be continued...
Panel 1:
>Dave: "Patience Sydney-san, first you need to learn like- like-"
>Sydney: "Like?"
>Dave: "Like STUFF, ya know."
Panel 4:
>"just like that of a fighting bull... or a very unruly goose."
Panel 5:
Somebody is eating pizza with chopsticks too
>SY: "Wacha! This place is hella tight! Sensei Dave dropped some killer moves!"
Panel 5:
>(Should he have a gun? Does the gang look too dull? Maybe they need an outlandish theme. This is something we still need to discuss.)
Chains and brass knuckles are your typical gang arsenal.
>KM: “Payback’s gonna be a b***h for you!”
Maybe "Nice moves for a twirp. Waste her!"
I overall like it.
I forget what the mallrats were for. Were we going to use them for something?
The mallrats we were going to turn into a gang for PP/SS. They'd commit crimes as a distraction while those two go steal what they were going to steal unhindered (it might not actually go down like that, but that's the plan).
That was the idea I remember being mentioned when you or someone wanted PP/SS to appear at the end of the issue.
The initial plan I had for the mallrats were to be low level villains BB could fight on her own sometimes, like how GG had low level villains she was able to take on without SQ. I've always felt the role of a sidekick is a supporting role where their job is to either buy time for the hero to arrive or to watch the hero's back so they can be more effective in combat. GG understood this when she was a sidekick (even though she was the main character and so threat levels were always kept low), BB doesn't and is always rushing into danger. That's my approach anyway.
Glad you're into it. We can pass the script along to the other anon
who brought it back into conversation now and see what he thinks and whatever suggestions he may have.
I've updated this pastebin
https://pastebin.com/nAp7r0xm
with the pacing draft of the script now (your changes included) for easier reading. I saved a copy of the original draft so I still have the demon soccer sequence on hand for a possible later story.
He seems a tiring enemy to deal with
Loving the colors
I like. I like.
Getting to see how others see MMM is really exciting. Very close to how I imagine them too.
I take it Dave comes right after.
Yeah, we're getting to him. Next scene they're going to be in the mall.
This version of draft I'm working on is a pacing version where we figure out just how long it currently is. It'll make it easier to see what we need to trim and expand.
I won't be getting anymore work on it done tonight though, gotta go to bed early. Hopefully I'll have more time tomorrow afternoon to work on it more.
No dying
With the GG thread leeching off most of the users, /coc/ really struggles.
You make it seem like it's a bad thing.
The coc is a great place, GG is just the icing on the cake!
Well, the struggling part is. I do wish there were more interest in non-boobs content.
All boobs big and small are welcome content for the coc whether they are GG's or not.
>All boobs big and small are welcome
True and big butts too.
I'm not sure how much overlap there actually is.
Let it die. It doesn't need to limp along throughout the week. If it dies it dies, take the time to think about your ideas and refine them for next thread.
You guys like monsters?
MEGA SCOLIPEDE
I bet this guy's eyeball friends could play sports versus the evil tadpoles.
Well they do know each other a little bit from wearing his outdoors clothing
ahhh, so abs lad is his human form? Interesting.
I'm the one trying to draw out some commentary on drug use, so I'm trying, anyway.
Not much in terms of those who are interested in both topics, it seems, but both groups definitely use these threads when there isn't a separate one up for both.
>I'm the one trying to draw out some commentary on drug use
purple rave frog might be your guy
Does he partake as well as distribute? Never get high on your own supply, they always say.
But can fabulous magic drugs make your problems go away?
It's his venom, so he is always in that state but is used to it. It's other people taking it in where the problems starts
I wonder what'd happen if you somehow sobered him up? Force fed him a gallon of espresso, or something.
Can't all make 'em like they do on Eternia, sadly.
Funny enough, looking at the Lady's design she seems like she'd have a hard time partaking in the usual sorts of drugs. No hands. But I guess she's got people to handle that for her.
If your problems can be solved by magically hulking out, magically becoming elemental, or otherwise burning your own soul for temporary power, then yes.
Otherwise, no.
The Blissful Lady is a drug developer/peddler/lord. She'll sometimes ship out an experimental batch with the regular stuff just to see what happens.
Magic drugs can do all kinds of things.
Yeah, I like monsters.
You gotta MAKE that interest by being interested.
It takes constant persistent engagement. Something I just can't give right now due to everything else happening in my life.
Goodnight everyone.
If Arthur and Lila ever started actually going out I bet she'd send him videos like these with an "us :)" caption.
Those are some cute borbs
I love birbs.
I will not let the internet ruin my love of a type of girl that no longer exists!
mornin
Oh yes, my favourite animal
When someone's gonna ask me what my spirit animal is it's this one.
Reminds me of that scene from Beetlejuice.
Some background for once
So what is that thing?
Another form that purple haird guy likes to take
Hey everyone, SCP-Anon here again.
I've haven't gotten anywhere recently as much due to things, but i'm getting somewhere with practicing and potential therapy, yada yada.
ANYWAY, I'm back on this roblox roleplay game called UNBREAKABLE, and it's basically what you think: it's a superhero roleplay game, on roblox.
So basically it's pretty cool and all, but I got this idea of what if you know, we all go on there and play as Cinemaphile villains and heroes and shit, which is kinda cool considering it's a cool fictional city like Cinemaphile's stuff, and is bustling with activity, now has a divison of big global superheroes, etc!
It's gets better when one can develop their character's powers to get stronger and better, tech or power wise, so imagine that with LL or such.
So is anyone interested?
So do you just latch on to whatever you think the cool new thing is and try to force /coc/ into it?
...what? No I just wanna do something fun I wanna do with yall?
i wanna force my /coc/ into audrey
The roblox stuff seems interesting
Is it pretty easy to use?
Oh yeah it's pretty easy and fun to do, thing is unbreakable has a discord and some documents about specific things here and there.
probably just start you off with this: www.roblox.com
Here is my GG story idea.
"Golden Girl in Gorilla Grip"
Audrey and Iris are on a field trip at the zoo and a giant male gorilla escapes and throws zookeepers around like rag dolls until Audrey shows up as GG she tries to calm him down. She ends up getting squeezed by the gorilla and the gorilla's face is in between her breast. The gorilla smiles and like the feeling of GG's breasts causing the gorilla to fall asleep because she felt so cozy and probably reminded him of his mom. The Gorilla goes back to his habitat cage and sleeps peacefully. GG makes it funny remark about the bigger they are the harder they sleep some joke.
Hehe that sounds cute.
Thx but maybe I should work on the script later.
Wouldn't that kill her if it was a gorilla?
Maybe without her breast she Dodge the gorilla and try to outsmart it but with her breast she's too slow. But the gorilla really
likes the feeling of her chest.
Oops didn't mean to reply twice.
But wouldn't the grip of a gorilla kill her?
A chimp or an orangutan seems more her size.
This is a GG story where her breast either help or get in the way with situations like this. It's really doesn't have to be logical at 100%.
Makes sense a gorilla would act that way sense they are less aggressive than chimps but not an orangutan and orangutan would probably think Audrey is one of them cause of her red hair.
>her breast either help or get in the way with situations like this.
Yep, no argument there.
That is the whole purpose though.
I'm on a roll today
Bump it.
Yes.
Goodnight everyone.
No idea if I'll be able to continue with the 90s script edit tomorrow.
Story is looking good. Hope there is more progress if the thread doesn't die
I'm hoping I'll be able to make more progress on it today after work if I'm not too tired.
keep it up.
Not really much on my end today.
You're making everybody look bad.
BB should do a Yo Mama's so pointy joke to SS that it cause him to get a little pissed off. You can't see his facial expression under the hood and mask but it be funny to see angry body languages. Or would he not care his mom is being made fun of?
What about a Deez Nuts joke?
Bet he'd feel pretty foolish for falling for one of those
Yo Mama's boobs are so pointy she killed two guys in her threesome!
I wouldn't even know where to fit it in.
Maybe at a later issue. I didn't really mean now on that page.
Where are all the goth characters
I'm making a goth background character for no reason other then being in the background for a panel
The only goth I can think of is Erin. The plane-hopping delivery girl.
Is Cinemaphiledie goth?
Only if theyre bigger. Heavier.
probably not but she does need to be drawn more
My favorite coc goth girl I don't care if she looks like Sasuke.
Death Nellie maybe, but her civilian outfit doesn't really read as goth, just librarian, and I guess she's more dark-bimbo than goth, really.
Marley had a goth phase as a young Marley
>My emotional state is like my chest: flat.
Brutal.
Unprompted piece of Crackdown lore:
The reason why Arthur ended up in Los Palos in the first place is because his father operated in the States for almost a decade.
He had a choice to continue his education in one of Munich's private schools but chose not to because the half-forgotten memories of Braun family mansion he remembers from when he was around 4 cause him even more distress then almost a decade of bullying in rural Russia
Any /coc/ characters that breaks the mould?
THEFAPV Progress update: 236 panels out of 270 shaded
Some shitty lazy art
>what's the difference
He's making a magical shied using the power of his love to protect her.
She's wondering if this can be weaponized.
I'm still working on the 90s script pacing edit.
It's just taking a while because I'm very tired.
Take all the time you need anon, the script and the lurkers in this thread aren’t going anywhere.
Inks for page 27 of Ladybug #6, if anyone's interested. Those familiar with ancient /coc/ history may see a familiar pterodon among Kongquistador's accomplices.
Neat!
So it's a team of arsonists?
It wasn't supposed to be, but SOMEBODY clearly didn't vet their demolitions specialist when putting together the team...
Alright, so that's the pacing draft of the script. That puts it at 14 pages, 13 if you don't count the ad page.
That puts it at the same page length as Highway Robbery, though the initial effort with the two scripts was to have each be shorter than HR.
Now that we have this, it will make it easier to know where we can trim content and see which content needs more focus/attention.
I did my best with it, but other eyes are appreciated since I can't look at the full picture while my face is in the painting.
What should the combined scripts be called now? The Weapon Wonder and Tempering Bronze were the original titles, but now they're one issue.
I wanted to get it done before the thread died.
I should probably repurpose one of the pastebins to collect it in its entirety. I wonder if "pissed" is flagged by their word filter now too.
Goodnight.
Audrey sketch
Alright finally! Just needs to learn how to shoot.
nice
I had an idea for a concept that I wonder if other anons are interested in helping develop. The idea is two agents that work for a Mad Scientist to cleanup up all of his mishaps and escaped creations. I’m thinking you play it like a comedy, like Sam & Max or the Venture Bros.
>Agent 1 - A Big, Wellspoken Brute and the Brains of the Duo (Looks like Ox from Spectacular Spider-Man)
>Agent 2 - A Little Gremlin of a Girl, she’s the Chaotic Half of the Duo (Don’t have any specific look in mind but anons know the type)
I like to imagine they’re the “sanest” of the experiments, which is why they work for the Mad Scientist, like Agent 1 was an experimented on Lab Assistant while Agent 2 was a crafted creature sort of like the Powerpuff Girls. I don’t have any names at the moment so for now I’m just going with Numbers. Here’s a draft of how I think a case would play out
>Ooooh, what’s that?
>Well Princess, I believe that’s the Dreaded Two Headed Man-Ape, one head’s formerly human, the other a rampaging murder monster
>Somebody help me!!!
>GRAAAAAAHHH!!!
>So Big Fella, how do we stop this thing?
>Well Princess, as everyone knows the only way to take down a Dreaded Two Headed Man-Ape is to either cut off the Human Head, leaving a Monster to slay, or cut off the Ape Head, leaving a malformed Human…
>And years of therapy!
>You got it
>Oh god! Can’t I get a second opinion?
>Sorry Fella, neither of us has a medical license
>Only a license to kill!
>…But only in the State of Arkansas and certain parts of Nova Scotia
>Hey! It’s only illegal if they know we know the jurisdictions!
>Oh right, “plausible deniability”…
>GRAAAAAAAH!
>Looks like Harambe here’s not gonna make it easy for us, maybe I should lure him in with my sweet, supple, childlike body…
>Come on princess, we can’t have another incident of you living in a Zoo Enclosure for six months
>In my defense, I make for a very pretty chimpanzee… At least when the lights are off…
That's pretty funny.
Is the mad scientist like the chief, only ever appearing via phone calls to give orders?
I think he should appear physically, I imagine he’s like the Medic from TF2 where he doesn’t care about the ramifications of his experiments, he just either wants to recover the materials or cover them up so the authorities don’t come knocking down his door.
Any coc characters that would make a good plushie?
Hope Corgi?
Any would make a good plushie if the proportions are tweaked enough.
There's a bunch of pics of that somewhere.
Centipede sold seperately
*shiver*
Reminds me of that one pokemon. Forgot the name though.
Steelix
Yep that's it!
Remembering which pokémon was who. Now those were the days.
They could work a plusses but I was actually 100% planning on commissioning a 3d artist to make 3d models of THEFAPV characters to make 3d printable statues, in more human proportions than the comic, but that's quite a ways away.
That looks neat.
Sorry for my lack of knowledge but who is this?
Holi. She can make paint out of nothing.
I have updated the bin again.
Not that old not that new but one of my favorites!
Sometimes I wonder what certain characters would look like if they were designed now instead of years back
>Golden Girl could possibly look the same
>Collette with the "/co/'s fetishes" design philosophy might look more like one of the fusions of Ms Cinemaphile winners
>Motion would have been designed with the trans-flag colors in mind
>Ladybug would be controversial and considered a Miraculous Ladybug OC so people would be trying to push her as a different bug
>Conrad as a board-tan designed today would probably look different with more MCU and cartoon inspiration
>Conrad with more cartoon inspiration
The bean-mouth horror i imagine can stay in my nightmares
It does not just exist within your nightmares, I have seen bean-mouth Cinemaphilenrad drawn.
They wouldn't look like anything because all the drawgays left ages ago.
Chaptor would be more simplified and cartoony. Probably done with vector graphics.
Golden Girl would have a utility belt.
The biggest change though would be Colette. The board's tastes have changed dramatically since her inception. She'd probably be some kinda steven universe looking gremlin.
>Motion would have been designed with the trans-flag colors in mind
I don't think she'd want to out herself like that.
The Motion that was created with the sensibilities of the time, yes. Modern queer culture is much more about wearing as much of your identity on your sleeve as possible. For many, "passing" is no longer the end goal. A Motion created today might reflect that, which is the point of the thought exercise.
>Panel 1
Needs an ending line from Dave or it ends too abruptly, something like, “That’s certainly one interpretation my little Kahuna, who knows what answers you’ll find along the path of Bullshido…”
For the Mallrats gang logo, I think something simple like pic related with a skateboard used like a crossbone would work well.
Besides all of those I thought the rest of the script’s fine so far unless we decide to make any more big changes.
>First panel needs a starter line from Sydney since Dave’s line is structured like a reply
Right, that's a leftover from how the script was before. I moved the "When do I get to start breaking boards?" line to an earlier page and just left that exchange hanging.
>The Art of Bullshido is that of patience and fierce determination, like that of a fighting bull.
The entire line, or just the second half?
I'm keeping the unruly goose part that was suggested earlier since I think it's funny.
>I think we should really have a text box that says something like “Later on” to ease the transition from the last page a little better
Over the montage part we could do "Over the course of many lessons."
>How about something like, “Really huh? Then what we’re about to dish out is gonna be all the more sweeter!”
Current version is
>Nice moves for a twerp. Waste her!
from Seltzr's feedback. Does that work for this?
The line Dave's replying to here is the line Sydney is thinking, so we'd need to rework it a little if she's saying it out loud.
Yeah I missed Seltzr’s critiques until after I posted, but go with his versions if you like them more.
>The entire line or just the second half?
You can just do the second half, I was just rewriting the sentence to flow better, I’m good with adding in the goose bit.
>Over the montage part we could do "Over the course of many lessons."
Sounds good.
> The line Dave's replying to here is the line Sydney is thinking, so we'd need to rework it a little if she's saying it out loud.
I didn’t realize it was an interior thought, we can switch it to being spoken out loud but if you want to keep it as a thought bubble I think it needs something else to signify the end of the scene since the line doesn’t really end but stops in that instance if that makes any sense.
If we switch it to a spoken line then we'll need to removed her mentioning weapons since she knows Dave can hear her.
Easy change.
>"So this will pay off eventually, but I should keep a 'backup' handy."
Then the line you gave for Dave.
Oh, the next thread will be made late on Sunday if I'm the one doing it since it's Father's Day and I have arrangements.
Okay.
Happy Father's Day.
And Good Night!
See yall next week
If that asteroid gives us a next week.
are golden girl's breasts still invisible when she's an adult or can people finally tell she's big?
When she's an adult her hero name is Golden Guardian and the comic code was destroyed during her Nightwing phase (Bullion) so yes people can see her boobs. Whether people can connect that the civilian tall redhead with big honkers is the superheroine depends on the interpretation
k
>How's her INT score? Was the space clown's bimbo wand only effective on her body, or is she a bit airy in the head now too?
Before she was insane/evil and most definatly had actual phyisical brain problems but the bimbo wand set her brain to normal in an attempt to get it to get it to airhead. She may be bellow average intelligence since she believes in conspiracy theories, but her ghost squad may be backing up those conspiracies.
So not purely a silly giggling mess, then, okay.
Stylish, if not messy.
He sure loves doing his form change
This brush type is way more easier to use and make things look way better
Expect more frequent art
Where are everyone....
I was just in a Fern Gully thread, thinking about the idea of a modern-day re-telling. I did like some of the ideas.
This is OP
>My idea would actually be that the humans who are pulled in to the "fairy" world are actually sort of already on the side, being protestors against the current logging/construction operation, but the actual conflict being more that they only superficially support "nature" and in fact don't even think of how much nature has been lost already.
My idea was about kids from a city coming face to face with how little "forest" is left (me being a bong, I'm talking about the UK), and then being lost in this small patch of woods and ending up in a faerie adventure.
Basically the forest works on Mythago Wood rules.
Does it have fairy houses in toadstools and trees because I unironically love that shit.
I'm here.
I don't have anything to show yet, art or writing, and people don't seem to be that interested in spitballing ideas this time around, so I'm gonna sit this one out.
Maybe finally do something with Playwright for Father's day, I dunno.
Didn't mean to spoiler that image.
Oops.
I pitched a new idea here
and got one anon interested but that’s about it.
I am that one anon (not the anon you are replying to). I do like the banter you wrote.
Write more of that if you feel like it.
It's Saturday. If this thread doesn't end today then there won't be a new one tomorrow.
Eh, who needs sunday thread
Nice! are you the artist doing the GG clown nap comic? Just wondering.
Nope
Almost reminds me of the style.