what am I in for?
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what am I in for?
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And what of Good Solonius?
He was the coolest guy.
prepare to shed manly tears
Spartaci
Soap opera and sandals
it's kino.
You make template threads, it's not uuuu. Just whack on Netflix Plus and watch whatever instead.
You're in for kino, a bit of a rocky start qt the beginning (first 4-5 episode) but after that it's smooth sailing. S2 and s3 good too if you can endure the swapped actors (Spartacus and naevia,)
Here comes the snake walking as if human
pure kino
Blood on the Sands - 9/10
Gods of the Arena - 10/10
Vengeance - 3/10
War of the Damned - 6/10
vengeance and war of the damned deserve to be 5/10 and 8/10
Nah. Shows are never the same when you change actor of the titular character, even if the other guy wasn't that bad. If anything I was more put off by the shitty Roman characters, especially Caesar.
>ywn impregnate Xena with your seed
>what am I in for?
Make sure to watch Gods of the Arena too!
I prefer "I put forth cup for coin and the God's let slip wiener in ass"
Best Batiatus quote is, "Can you shit gold? If so, squat and produce."
Everything with the Romans was compelling and hilarious. The slave characters were decent when they were slaves, kinda cringe once they become freedom fighters, although Crixus was the GOAT. The creators knew they were making schlock and milked it for laughs, but still knew when to make it dramatic. They managed that tension between stupidity and seriousness rather well. The show could be hit and miss but ended amazingly.
Also, part of the charm of Spartacus is watching it start off so godawfully, and then seeing the creators slowly realize they fricked up by trying to imitate 300, and course-correcting to finish Season 1 with a bang. It's actually endearing seeing an artist grow and better themselves in real-time within the work itself.
The only episode that is a 300 ripoff is the pilot, and it was almost certainly made that way in order to sell the show.
you didn't get it
Spartacus keeps getting better with each episode which is odd because it's usually the other way around.
>tell him his prostitute wife stands fricking Roman
every time
>He stands Roman as well
Every fricking time
?si=tu54og7Q6BJ4vgzf
gods spreading cheeks and ramming wiener in ass
If Rome is Logos, Spartacus is Pathos.
We need a shitty West Wing spin-off set in Rome to be our Ethos. Just Cicero in nonstop walk-and-talk scenes with cheesy pro-democracy values preached anachronistically in every episode.
That's not the worst idea I've ever heard. Especially since long form oration isn't really touched on in either series with the regularity you'd see in certain eras and/or schools. Mitebcool
how about vince gilligan making a better call saul style show around the senate?
words falling from mouths like shit from ass
Which one, Cinemaphile?
The first seasons of both are both very good, both of them fall off just like other show
Rome is great because it succeeds at showing how weird society was back then, but doing it with such craft that everything feels perfectly natural and normal. It's filled with weird details like slaves standing in the room when people are fricking, everyone casually doing voodoo, horrific acts of violence being completely dismissed as trivial, etc. But the characters are so believable and charming that you don't think twice about the absurdity of it all.
Spartacus is pure junk food and we love it for that very reason.
/Spartacus/ is my brother by sacred oath! I know his heart! He is my friend! And a faithful roman kino! And until anyone proves that he is not I will never betray him.
Campy kino with a LOT of blood and sex. You'll probably not finish it because you're a gay
This gave me a fetish for bratty blonde girls
I only watched the first season
what are the other ones like?
second season and the flashback season are kino
I stopped watching when they replaced Andy
>replaced Andy
He fricking died from cancer.
Basically a classic heroic tale of vengeance and redemption on a budget that doesn't even care if it bites more than it can possibly chew. Hits way more than it misses with ending that is genuinely cinema. Worth every second.
Season 1 is probably the best in terms of raw quality, Gods of the Arena is essentially extension of season 1 both in terms of writing and quality. Season 2 and 3 have weird moments and season 2 could be viewed as a low point for the series, a lot of meandering, some annoying characters, some pay-offs are a bit cold. Season 3 is worth it entirely for ending and Crassus.
The gods bless your recognition of Crassus and the finale. Liam running up the hill is the first time you see him fully realize Spartacus the animal. Shame it took that long, but it was nice to see finally happen.
i think the second season is solid without being great from the episode where the burn down the arena on but the episodes before that are a massive chore
Terrible first 3 episodes
Insanely kino after that
Booba and bush Episode I
Penis and balls Episode II
Sand.
*scoffs*
What a great lil casting director!
Them Whedons know what's up
Everyone always forgets about the cute Poojita who gets publicly fricked by Varro
I have not forgotten. That was probably the sleaziest, porniest sex scene I've ever seen in a mainstream tv show. There is nothing in Game of Thrones that comes close, despite that show's reputation. Spartacus is really in a league of its own when it comes to sleaze and I'm surprised it didn't get more notoriety for it.
God Ilithyia might be the hottest character in fiction. She’s such a smug and vain prostitute.
I don't understand why her career died so badly, hot,talented, willing to get naked.
What went wrong? She must have turned down the wrong executive producer.
Most of the cast in this show come from Australia and New Zealand. If you look in to her background she's the daughter of some well respected composer/orchestra conductor in Australian. Pretty sure I've read interviews where she states she sort of stumble in to an audition and got a big role, didn't really know what she was getting in to and kind of regrets it, and went back to her life in high society. It's interesting in a way.
>get first acting role on a big show
>show the world her naked body
>leave the show and never act again
>simply live the rest of her life drinking wine and being rich
She sounds remarkable
I think raising her kids was part of it too, but yeah. Definitely one of the hottest woman on tv of all time.
>be slave that thinks his wife is dead
>just got sent out to the arena
>fight for your life
>survive
>get forced back into your little cage after the fight
>upon entering your cage you see mira quite literally ready to drain your balls
How exactly did Spartacus not frick the shit out of her nightly other than days he was in the arean?
My God, I'm not usually a fan of breasts but the Titty Tub Girl has an absolutely MAGNIFICENT pair of milkers.
A man's show. God, I miss it.
Gannicus > Crixus > Spartacus
being a champion would be based for getting to bang hot high society women that not even the vast majority of romans would have a shot with
The show also has loads of wiener, but this is a selling point.
they're all prosthetics
i wonder if women seethe at fake dicks in tv/film as much as i do when shitty merkins cover a pussy
well yeah, I wasnt really believing the horsewiener guy in S01 was real. Most of tv is prosthetics and merkins.
I dont know why anyone would be upset at at that though? who cares if you're seeing real or fake breasts/vag/wiener on tv.
Sex
Art. We're never gonna see another show like this again, and it's a shame.
her breasts were insane, out of this world, probably one of the best pairs i've ever seen
>meme dialogue
>SEX
>black Germans and Celts
>fights that are basically 300 rip offs
>Caesar getting anally raped
Just watch ROME, its a billion times better
Germans and Celts
You did not watch this show
getting anally raped
And that's kino. Mighty Caesar taken like a common prostitute
kino, everything else is noise
it takes 3-4 eps to get going, so don't make the mistake of giving up early
You have to wade through a lot of dicks to get to Xena's breasts. But worth it.
Bad cgi, breasts, slomo
Genuinely good series even with the occasional homosexualry and over-abundance of sexuality. I thought it was supposed to be a raunchy version of Rome aimed at drawing women in (which it was probably) but it still delivered a good story
For me it was Mira! And she's living the good life to this day getting easy cheques making CBS boomer slop in Hawaii.
she also did some stand up "comedy", one time i listened to a bit where she said she wanted to frick white people of existence by having mixed babies or something, wish i had saved it. these insane progressive asian women who only frick white guys are truly surreal
found it
?si=FLns_aLBDMbjEevG&t=114
easily the hottest b***h in the series
I went to school with Bonnie Sveen, she was a feminist c**t. I was stoked to see her exploit herself for money on the big screen. Something she assured us all she'd never do.
I also saw her fricking one of my mates from school on a cricket oval one summer holiday, she put on a better show IRL.
words falling from mouth like shit from ass
Imagine being a stall kind of guy back then.
Ancient equivalent of a shoe shiner.
>give me an extra fresh ass sponge and there is a copper in it for you, toilet man
Why do we always assume that they just built those without adding some sort of screen between each toilet? Obviously if it was a curtain or something made out of wood it would have vanished without a trace.
idk but it's bad to assume things based on what seems logical without having evidence for it too. we know nowadays pajeets shit on designated shitting beaches without any privacy curtains between each other too and they don't seem to mind.
best to wait until some dig discovers intact toilet curtain fixings just to be sure.
What the frick seems logical about it? Why is logical to assume that our ancestors were always moronic and filthy? This is pure nonsense.
i meant that your suggestion that they used curtains was logical you moronic belligerent wienersucker
and that just because it's logical, you shouldn't assume it's correct.
Wow you know what, I may be a moronic wienersucker but at least I'm not RUDE.
you are rude though
i responded to you in a neutral tone and you got all up in my face over it
Build a hundred bridges and cities, you're still just a man.
Suck a single wiener, you're a wienersucker for the rest of your life.
I'm sure brushing your loose cloth all over the public shitter is a good idea
Loin cloths
really good season 1 and possibly disappointed in seasons 2 and 3
do you consider the series like:
prequel: gods
s1: b&s
s2: vengeance
s3: war
or
s1: b&s
s2: gods
s3: vengeance
s4: war
As always watch in release order. No exceptions...ever.
i don't mean watch order, mean what do you consider to be the proper way to number the seasons.
some people call vengeance season 3, some call it season 2. it's a thing i've seen in these threads
vengeance is season 2, gods is a prequel, technically a separate series regardless of order of watch
Gods is season 2. Vengeance is 3.
the duality of man
gods is the second released season, the prequel, which introduces you to older gladiators such as Gannicus, who is then in season 3. vengeance.
Correct order, blood and sand, gods of the arena, vengeance, war of the damned.
As always pic related, worst girl.
>As always pic related, worst girl.
They did this character a huge disservice. The actresses from season 1 was actually hot.
Far more entertaining to watch gods second. It's one of the only decent prequels I've seen and you lose all of that impact from both seasons by watching it first.
The ending still lingers in my mind occasionally... really good show although it is silly it delivers
fricking Ashur
Ashurs murder squad was pretty kino
The golfer? US Open?
the expanse, now there's a trash series that doesn't deserve its good reputation.
first two seasons of that were kino as well though, and then it fell hard
is this the show where season 1 is kino and then the actor for spartacus dies and the next like 5 seasons are trash? don't bother watching this it's just sad in the meta sense
why the frick would anyone listen to some homosexual who hasn't seen the show's worthless opinion? seriously
you gays sure are grumpy about your show with a bunch of naked dudes and sustained full frontal wiener shots in it
are you having fun kiddo? better hurry on and get, it'll be time for school soon
he's right though and I actually wish I hadn't seen the 3rd and 4th season (gods of the arena was kino because it was more centered on batiatus and self-contained)
No, moron. It's kino a better than trash like game of thrones even
The show is largely a gay drama wearing titty dresses to trick the pseud-mascs into gay seduction.
the what? memerotted brain
bet you dilate while you stare at gaul wiener homo
>show is 90% breasts, ass, and pussy
>he focuses instead only on the wieners and can't stop thinking about slobbering on them
>is so insecure that he has to lash out at others so they hopefully don't assume the truth that he's gay
I love how whenever there's a Spartacus thread some closet homosexual chimps out cuz the sight of penises invoked something inside him
Best dick in the entire show
>Spartacus! In my office now!
>the frick did I do?
>Spartacus! In Heaven now!
The first season is great. Drop it after you are done with the first season.
can you stop repeating this braindead idiocy like an npc? the rest of the seasons are just as good and finish telling the story of... FRICKING SPARTACUS
Whatever you say, Liam McIntyre.
to be fair, vengeance was a bit of a dip but they managed to recover for war and gave the character a good sendoff. yes liam is no andy but he's not bad, just not as good
how big was andy before spartacus? i remember a behind the scenes video where they talked about "bootcamp" all the main gladiator actors had before the 1st season to bulk up
liam was a chestlet in comparison and you could tell they covered it with straps for like his first season
>how big was andy before spartacus? i remember a behind the scenes video where they talked about "bootcamp" all the main gladiator actors had before the 1st season to bulk up
>liam was a chestlet in comparison and you could tell they covered it with straps for like his first season
Probably because he had non Hodgkin's lymphoma the entire time and was ill.
what? i'm saying the guy that had hodgkin's looked bigger and more imposing than his replacement, probably partially due to the bootcamp they had before shooting the series
>YOU COUNCIL TO SUCK THE wiener THAT PISSES ON ME?
Stop after Arena of the gods. The rest of the series is just not worth it.
gods of the arena, and the only morons dont finish shows they start.
The show was so kino you were rooting for the gay to get revenge for his twink boyfriends death. Also ashur deserved a better death.
coomer kino
Gay sex. My friend tried to show me this show telling me how great it was but after the third or fourth gay sex scene I called him a homosexual and stopped watching
>words fall from your mouth as shit from ass
wiener in ass
Gaia best girl.
Don't even @me, plebs.
i'd like to pardon her breasts
Don't watch past season 1. It becomes trite after that. /thread.
season 1 is the only good season cause spartacus dies IRL soon after
season 2 is filler and 2/3 are LAUGHABLY BAD
First 2 seasons are genuine 10/10
Rest ranges from meh to garbage
>Leave the shota to me
>Glabber hasn't gotten her pregnant have hundreds of times
>Spartacus rimshots it on the first go
That's what having the Gods by your side can achieve
Not to mention he hadn't even came yet when they were interrupted. His pre-cum is just that powerful.
TATAS
total fricking garbage
total fricking kinography
Blood and Sand and Gods of the Arena are kino
the other two seasons are trash, turns out the ludus and Batiatus were very important and without them the show fell apart.
Lotta dicks and breasts. A few too many dicks in my opinion. It would’ve been a lot better if it wasn’t basically softcore porn written like a soap.
Be honest... did you cry?
manly tears.
A little.
Yeah, then thought about fricking his wife
Got close to
yes actually. but i was drunk, so
>credits roll on the final episode
>about to end
>suddenly
>I
>AM
>SPARTACUS
I cried bros
I was unhappy that naevia got the blacksmith killed. What a b***h
that whole naevia arc felt like they were setting her up to show that she was damaged and angry by her stay in the mines, but then redeem her. except they never redeemed her. i wonder if that was intentional or they just forgot to do it. the show generally has cleverer writing than most people give it credit for so neither would surprise me.
>wiener wiener wiener you wiener you wienered it all for the wienering wieners
>what in the wiener you mean?
>You wiener! You know wiener well what I mean! I wi eat your wiener!
>How about you suck my wiener?
>Yes, by Jupiter's wiener I will suck your wiener, wiener it off and then wienering it eat!
>You're such a wiener!
>wiener wiener wiener