 Tip Your Landlord Shirt $21.68 |
 DMT Has Friends For Me Shirt $21.68 |
Tip Your Landlord Shirt $21.68 |
What are some honest medieval films?
Tip Your Landlord Shirt $21.68 |
DMT Has Friends For Me Shirt $21.68 |
Tip Your Landlord Shirt $21.68 |
Robin Hood is a fun watch.
Olivia De Haviland was my first waifu. Colors were great in that one.
So pretty
The very best early Technicolor flick.
Olivia de Havilland was so pretty in that movie.
Robin hood is basically a must see, such a great cast. If you are looking for a much sillier comfy viewing also check out The Court Jester
Bring back technicolor NOW!
Excalibur
The Canterbury Tales
There are none.
>Excalibur
>Late medieval/renaissance arms and armor in the dark ages
>Late medieval/renaissance arms and armor in the dark ages
Knowledge was given to a few and forgotten, it's that shrimple.
Wasn't it because dyes were really expensive back then?
they had to dye the sky and grass to keep them from being blue? wow history is amazing
lel
Only specific colours were expensive. And you don't dye nature.
speak for yourself, péasante
OP is referring to the piss and mud filter that modern pedowood requires all depictions of the past to have.
For some reason, there's a strong push to convince people that the past was undesirable.
In general all films post digital are awash in some kind of tint, but medieval films get it the worst because of our horseshit modernist bias. It's because we literally think that the past had to be this dreary depressing place that it has to be reflected in the visuals as well.
A softer version is everyone wears brown, chainmail, or black.
Even sillier: most of these films are about economic elites of the time, who did everything they could to be flashy and show off their wealth.
In reality:
>everyone has always tried to be as clean as possible
>even if full baths were not available, they would sponge bath themselves
>everyone has always tried to dress as nice as possible
>people would wear as many colors as they could and
these are all cross-cultural as well. The specific fashions change, but not the trends. Wearing nice clothes and being clean isn't something invented in 1960.
Don't forget the no one can read bullshit. Reality is nearly everyone could read Latin because everyone had a bible, what they couldn't read was the language of the noble elites like French or English
>everyone had a bible
Really? I've always heard and read that Bibles were fairly rare and mostly in the hands of the clergy because every page has to be meticulously copied by hand. Isn't this why the Gutenburg press/bible were so revolutionary? That finally bibles could be an affordable item for the lower classes? I think woodblock printing was introduced in the 13th Century to Europe by Marco Polo but even that method produced less than 10% as many pages per day as a Gutenburg press.
They didn't, he's full of shit like all mediaeval romanticists are. Prior to the invention of moveable type and the printing press during the Renaissance (I'm aware they existed prior to that in China, the tech didn't make it to Europe until the 15th century), books had to be individually handwritten and copied by scribes who had trained for years and the books themselves would take months to make. Meaning they were absurdly expensive and rare. Typically a smaller Parish would have one bible in its possession, which only the priest and the local grammar school (at the time a religious institution dedicated to reading and writing scripture) had regular access to. The average peasant might have a pamphlet with a few verses he had personally written down, assuming he was literate, but that's it.
He's full of shit, owning a bible was a death penalty offense in most places. I mean what was the reformation about if not being able to read the fricking bible without being branded a heretic?
>death penalty offence
No it wasn’t. There are also tons of early vernacular bible translations like the anglo saxon gospels
>Reality is nearly everyone could read Latin because everyone had a bible
This is one of the most moronic misunderstandings of history I think I've ever read
Sorry you are moronic and know nothing about history
Bullshit and this is the reason why the israelitetholic church brutally forbid translating the Bible into the languages of Europe because few spoke or read Latin except them and their heresies would have been exposed.
most people could read their own language. but not latin. most people could not write
Northern Europeans believed bathing "washed away god's grace" and only did it maybe once a month. Perfume was invented because it was common to piss and shit in stairwells before indoor plumbing was (re)invented.
It was literally illegal to be literate in Latin if you were not a member of the clergy, and it was illegal to print bibles in 'common' languages. That's part of what inspired the whole Protestant Reformation thing; because the Vatican had gatekept actual christian knowledge for centuries and the peasants had to rely on priests to relay the information secondhand which lent itself to rampant corruption and abuse.
Blues were rare, purple was illegal for non-aristocrats. Richer shades of red were rare. White and black were reserved for clergymen. Pinks, greens, and yellows/oranges were common. Earth tones were very common. I don't think grey existed, or it was otherwise rare.
Thief has a weird mix of steampunk and mediaeval/Gothic. Closest would probably be some dark fantasy.
*watches six of your seven kids die in infancy because of illnesses beyond your comprehension and the leeches/bloodletting didn't work, then freezes to death during the winter*
>Chamber pots were used in ancient Greece at least since the 6th century BC and were known under different names: ἀμίς (amis),[3] οὐράνη (ouranē)[4] and οὐρητρίς (ourētris,[5] from οὖρον - ouron, "urine"[6]), σκωραμίς / (skōramis), χερνίβιον (chernibion).[7]
>The world's first recorded chemist is a woman named Tapputi, a perfume maker whose existence was recorded on a 1200 BCE Cuneiform tablet in Babylonian Mesopotamia.[1]
>The first modern perfume, made of scented oils blended in an alcohol solution, was made in 1370 at the command of Queen Elizabeth of Hungary and was known throughout Europe as Hungary Water
>freezes to death during the winter
what is firewood, what is fur
>shit that faded from public memory after the fall of the Roman Empire, and wasn't rediscovered until centuries later
Just because Caesar had running water throughout his palace doesn't mean the average 12th century Italian peasant did, clown. Do I need to teach you what the Renaissance was?
https://going-medieval.com/2019/08/02/i-assure-you-medieval-people-bathed/
stop being so fricking stupid dude
>southern Europe, as the result of Moorish influence
Lol
>nuuu don't criticise my neoromanticism based on memes
They didn't do this. I used indoor plumbing as an example for a social innovation that got abandoned as the classical era transitioned into the mediaeval.
It was invented in the Arab world, and was imported into places like Italy and Spain because the Arabs conquered those parts of the world. They didn't travel much beyond there, because northern Europeans saw it as an alien Islamic influence. Same as forks and ceramic plates. I shouldn't have to explain to you that the culture of Moorish Portugal does not reflect on the culture of the Holy Roman Empire or England. The sheer audacity to call me out on my supposed lack of knowledge on the topic, only to then conflate literally all of middle ages Europe into one single culture. Jesus.
Where is that stated at all? What the frick are you talking about? The word moor isn’t used in that article, are you trolling or just lying this blatantly?
>romanticism
He’s talking about the colour of the sky. Are you going to argue it was darker?
>they didn’t do this
Was literally in the article you invented a fake quote from.
>That means you are a peasant, because 85% of the population or so were peasants. This meant that you were working very hard doing manual labour in a field. How would you stay clean? Well you would probably wash daily at home. This usually involved filling an ewer with water, heating it and then poring it into a larger basin which allowed for ease of scrubbing, like so
Also, romans literally had a fine for people throwing their shit out onto the street and not cleaning it before a certain time. Most people didn’t have plumbing in ancient rome, if you were the average person in a city you probably shared a building with 3 other families and had to dispose of your waste outside.
>it was invented in the arab world
We don’t know precisely where it came from, but since pig fat was a common ingredient I doubt muslims were making the stuff medieval europeans used.
>or england
Was literally the biggest exporter of soap in the 13th century lmao.
>the audacity
You are literally getting caught lying over and over again, you little freak
It’s that anglomericuck schizo poster. He’s a turk who thinks the classical world was run by turks and that northern europeans are savages.
>brown people good, white europeans bad
lol
Castile soap (made out of olive oil) was an Arab invention brought to Spain and Italy. People had been making soap out of lye in Europe since prehistory.
You don’t need plumbing to bathe. People could heat water and place it in a basin or use a river if they didn’t want to do that.
heat didn't get invented until the enlightenment, so until then time-travelers from the future had to go back to the barbaric dark ages to give it to them. the handful of golden age islamic scholars would call this "al-pyromancy" in the 8th century, translated from "pyromanteia"
Public bathing was a tradition that endured after the fall of the Western Roman Empire, it’s one of the reasons the Black Death spread so easily in Italy and France.
>Perfume was invented because it was common to piss and shit in stairwells before indoor plumbing was (re)invented.
civilization was rocking that shit since the mespotamians, perfume is ancient as frick. do you mean specifically for europeans? even arabs were selling them that shit when pushing on the western world with the muslim conquests
>Blues were rare, purple was illegal for non-aristocrats. Richer shades of red were rare. White and black were reserved for clergymen. Pinks, greens, and yellows/oranges were common. Earth tones were very common. I don't think grey existed, or it was otherwise rare.
That's right because they mostly opted for plant-based dyes
>>It was literally illegal to be literate in Latin if you were not a member of the clergy, and it was illegal to print bibles in 'common' languages.
loll????
FRICKIGN AMERICAN moronSSSSSSSS
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_translations_in_the_Middle_Ages
Nta but you have the wrong page, you should be looking for the Wikipedia page about censorship of the bible
People bathed in the middle ages, there are manuscript manuals for proper bathing. Women especially get horribly sanitary diseases and die if they don’t bathe. Posts like this are what I think of when anyone says atheists are critical thinkers by default, like how fricking moronic do you have to be to believe people thought God said bathing was bad?
I submit this post as nomination for most stupid post on Cinemaphile at the present time.
Hear hear.
it’s legitimately scary when someone likes this writes paragraphs of nonsense believing they’re educating people. what the frick
I hope I somehow live long enough to see gen Alpha grow up to run the world because those dudes are so fricking moronic.
You dumb homosexual. You are either a israelite, an atheist or even worse, a Protestant, but I am certain you are 100% American. Everything you said was wrong
outrageously stupid, embarrassing
Literally nothing in this post is real, What a collection of reddit factoids.
[[[[[citation needed]]]]]
>Blues were rare
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isatis_tinctoria
The blue dye from woad was common. Are you trolling or what?
What a load of shit lmao. All of those are gossip from israeli cat ladies that are mad their ancestors got kicked out, and it has now been passed onto blacks who unironically believe in Yakub.
>Blues were rare
No. Woad was common
>White and black were reserved for clergymen
No. White is the natural color of wool and linen can be whitened by washing with water and drying under the sun
>Pinks, greens, and yellows/oranges were common. Earth tones were very common
Thats true
Bathing was in vogue until the church took over. The priests literally told people bathing was vain and shut down the bathhouses, so eventually people only bathed as little as possible.
Genuinely why are you making moronic shit up? I actually want to know why you’re saying this, you must know it’s not true
Soap was literally a medieval invention. Fedora tippers just outright lie about shit
I don’t get why. When someone can easily look up and disprove the claims you are making it just makes your position look inherently dishonest. Like if you need people to believe in apocalyptic cartoon conditions for a millennia of history, that couldn’t possibly have been real for your ideology to function, that ideology is obviously based on bullshit
cute medieval-fu boobies
Public bathhouses were common in cities well into the middle ages, even if the gender segregation and modesty norms were tighter than in antiquity. Even christcucks before germ theory understood that hygiene was important.
>even if the gender segregation and modesty norms were tighter than in antiquity.
Even that varied greatly from place to place theres tons of art and manuscripts depicting or talking about co-ed bathhouses
no I think you’ll find people were fed to pigs if they saw a vegana before marriage
Also peasants who couldn't bathe often would wear underclothes to soak up the sweat of a day's work so they wouldn't stink as much.
>most of these films are about economic elites of the time, who did everything they could to be flashy and show off their wealth.
That's a different kind of modernist bias, that of modernist design sensibilities. Historical fiction media is always influenced by the aesthetic biases of the day to some degree, and right now it's sleek minimalism and stark black white and grey color schemes.
>the two dudes in plate
SWAG
OVERLOAD
I have seen historical medicene, and there is no amount of wenches worth that shit.
this is so unrealistic. where are the black people?
>there's a strong push to convince people that the past was undesirable.
I think in some twisted way it's actually the opposite. They go heavy on the blue or yellow color grading to give it a greater separation from the stuff you see in real life every day in an effort to help you escape into the world more easily. When everything looks so different, it's easier for your subconscious to accept it as a world and time apart from your own. I think it's overdone and hamfisted a lot of the time, but I think they do genuinely believe they're making their art better by doing it. Some movies dont go full blue or full yellow and it looks really good. But color grading is an art form that takes skill and some people just aren't as good at it as others.
The masses are more likely to accept a societal reset and build back better if they believe the past is complete crap.
I don't believe it's intentional programming, just an unfortunate consequence of editors overusing digital color correction and studios thinking general audiences are stupid and need the exotic nature of the setting spelled out to them.
>I don't believe it's intentional programming
It is. If you look at really old movies, the middle ages are colorful and vibrant. Like, Errol Flynn movies, Ivanhoe with Liz Taylor and so on.
The first really "dirty" medieval movie was Robin Hood with Kevin Costner from the 90s I think.
>For some reason, there's a strong push to convince people that the past was undesirable
Hmm, I wonder why.
>For some reason, there's a strong push to convince people that the past was undesirable.
Well they didn't have feminism and women rights, so this is entirely true.
Go to sleep Ivan
No it's because Polanski did it in Macbeth and every medieval movie that wants to appear serious and realistic instead of looking like fantasy copies what he did
Only specific colors, shit like yellow and green were everywhere I mean you can dye shit bright green with grass
this
>*spills red wine on shirt one time*
>shirt has a red stain on it for all eternity
guess what kind of drink was everywhere during medieval times
>guess what kind of drink was everywhere during medieval times
unboiled water and watered down beer.
wine is a movie myth. only the rich people could afford it, the normal folk had to drink e coli water until the rise of the british empire that brought tea into common households in europe, passively making boiling water a standard and raising life expectancy by 50 years
No they didn’t. Wells existed. And frick no the extremely low alcohol % ale peasants drank while working wasn’t prohibitively expensive at all, infact they were provided it for free as they worked.
exactly what i wrote
more nutritious? Then how come they all had stunted growth, rotten teeth at 40 and generally horrible health? A lemon was considered medicine.
rivers were absolutely toxic. all the sewage or industry run off from leather workers, miners etc...
infant mortality actually wasn't so bad and this problem was only tackled around 70 years ago.
No you said people drank e. coli water, I said people had fricking wells. Funnily enough mass death from dirty water was a post industrial revolution thing because of shitty plumbing like the cholera outbreaks in london. You believe in a nonsense version of reality where humans couldn’t access clean water for 1000 years for no reason. And FYI, it’s a common myth that the beer was because the water was dirty, it’s because of the calorie content that kept peoples energy up while they worked in fields. Again you can look this up instead of repeating bullshit
>rotten teeth
They didn’t though. Literally look at medieval ossuaries moron.
>Surprisingly, analysis of skeletons from the middle ages suggest that people actually had quite healthy teeth! They used rough linen cloths to clean their teeth, often accompanied with a variety of pastes and powders used to whiten teeth and preserve fresh breath.
https://kriii.com/news/2021/medieval-dentistry/#:~:text=Surprisingly%2C%20analysis%20of%20skeletons%20from,teeth%20and%20preserve%20fresh%20breath.
Makes sense, think of how painful a tooth infection is today with modern treatment and how dangerous is to let it ride (I almost lost half my jaw because of an infection) now people of old would know plenty of cases of this gruesome tales so its only logic they would do everything in their power to avoid such faiths right? Im yet to met even a group of indigenous people who dont take care of their teeth even african bushmen do it for frick sake
It wasn't until sugar became readily available that people really began having major dental issues anyway. The average medieval diet would been healthier than much of the overly processed food available now although food would have far less plentiful and the possibilities of starving much higher
medieval people also didn't have sugar, just bread and alcohol. Most of the modern issues with dental health are sugar related. Rotted teeth became more of a 'disease of civilization' back in the 1500s-1600s as new world sugar plantations began to take off.
Medieval people often had severely eroded teeth because of the stone grit that mill stones would leave in flour. Sure they didn't have as much sugar, but they had a litany of other parasites and nutritional deficiencies.
are you trolling or do you genuinely believe that rivers were filthier pre industrial revolution
genuinely, yes.
not dirtier per se, but already polluted beyond usability for food and drink. this is common knowledge you American disney educated idiot.
You’re the fricking american, you believe in disney reality. You’re on the level of “they thought the earth was flat”.
>In the Early Middle Ages, the water was pretty clean so people would drink directly from the rivers (including the River Thames!) as it was deemed fairly safe at the time. However, places like London would sometimes run into problems.
https://www.plumbworld.co.uk/blog/middle-ages-plumbing#:~:text=In%20the%20Early%20Middle%20Ages,would%20sometimes%20run%20into%20problems.
Like seriously, just shut the frick up. People didn’t shit in rivers, they had a cesspit someone was paid to shovel once a week most of the time.
Gotta love how they just stop replying when evidence is posted
It's funny, it's only with the industrial revolution, the thing that gave us modernity, that water sources and rivers got so polluted you couldn't drink them anymore or walk in them without giving yourself 10 different diseases, but people conveniently ignore this fact because le dreary and miserable medieval age!
>you believe in disney reality
>also medieval people didn’t bathe, had no clean water, and were executed for reading
Lmfao
>but already polluted beyond usability
........... by what?
food way more nutritious back then, environment way less toxic, they didnt have weak shit immune systems that couldnt handle a couple bacteriums, even drinking shit water and shitting in the streets like indians the life expectancy was mostly low due to babies dying
Everyone and literally their mother owned fruit and barrels you moron. Wine being expensive and for rich fricks is in fact the modern invention, not the other way around. If they're too poor to afford wine they're definitely too poor to afford beer.
everyone owned a vinyard, sure man.
also everyone owned thirty cows, a suit of armor, a sword, and fancy shoes, yes yes. most importantly everyone owned themselves and weren't just slaves in everything but name of their local lord.
Yes of course you need to personally own a vineyard to have access to wine. And no, serfs weren’t slaves. That’s why in the domesday book peasants and slaves are distinguished, peasants owned land and had rights. They had their pay set by negotiation. I’m not saying they weren’t exploited far more than people today, but they weren’t slaves.
You don't need grapes to make wine you moronic ass zoomer.
>everyone owned a vinyard, sure man.
Tyrone got life plus a hunnit years and he is making pruno from juice boxes in his toilet in D-Block right now... You don't need a vineyard to make wine.
Everyone made beer because it was a way to preserve grains for future use.
Yeah exactly, they did that with all their foods. Preservation was common knowledge and practiced by everyone be it through fermentation, smoking, what have you. He might as well be saying bottled water was only for rich people too.
anyone who could grow grapes could and did make wine
anyone who could grow wheat or barley made beer
All you need to boil water is a clay pot and a fire pit, which every peasant had. Guess what soup or stew is made of
what?
Some color dye was expensive. Some were cheap.
I got you senpai
I got a laugh, don't worry about the morons
I got you
kek
Ironically, only blue was really expensive. If anything, medieval Europe movies should have a yellow filter
Purple was, because they could only make it from some snail shell in Italy.
But dyes from things like weld and chamomile, which grew all over Europe could make garish yellows like pic related.
Ironic since in chinkland at the same time only the emperor was allowed to wear yellow.
david fincher: " i hate pink. that's why."
Solar luminosity varies due to the solar cycle in the past the sun was simply less bright
The Maunder Minimum was a period where solar activity was at its lowest recorded point it correlates with the little ice age that occurred c1300-1850
colors weren't as evolved back then. it really was mostly greyish blue. red didn't actually come into existence until sometime in the 1600s
yeah bro all the trees and grass were grey, the green leaves update came only later on
green was only invented so we could tell what was and what wasn't money
hey you christcucks are the ones insisting the world was artificially made by some guy, its supposed to not make sense
>colour existed in the past
>WOW YOURE A CHRISTIAN
mental illness
>god works in mysterious ways
>NO NOT LIKE THAT
This doesn’t even make sense. Someone is literally just stating that the sky and grass was the same colour back then as it is now, and you’re projecting religious beliefs onto them because clearly you have a vested interest in doing so because of whatever ideological mind disease you’re suffering from.
look Black person, colors were invented in modern times because god said so. why dont you stop being a sniviling israelite for one second okay?
You say that but when people were more religious and respected religion movies about the past were colorful. In this modern age of godless decadence is where all the bland dreary films come from. Checkmate, atheist.
and?
>bringing up "christcucks" out of the blue
>the falseflagging bullshit disinfo in this thread
dude wtf what is it about the medieval ages that causes random israelites to flock to these threads to shit them up? I know they hold long grudges but against a. entire time period? come on now
Christcucks seething. Sorry, but people with an iq over 70 are never going to believe the dark ages were actually a utopia.
people with an IQ over 70 wouldn't be using the term 'dark ages' at all
This, the guy is calling himself out as a yakub believer or just a straight up israelite. I think it's the samegay seething all over, maybe the Indian the guy mentioned.
sorry christcuck, still not giving your synagouge my money. just not gonna simple as
Have a (you) kid.
truthfully, it was a bunch of magi herding, bredding and giivng their cattle lessons in humanity, mk ultrraing them with false memories and identities for engagement in future endeavors
You people are moronic, we use dim colors because you can't show people having sex on the street, dying horribly, starving or otherwise suffering.
what?
You can't portray a depressive society with happy colors, you got 2 hours tops to give a person a rundown on how they should feel about living in a medieval world and you use colors to do that.
If you want bright shit Alice in Wonderland exists, Narnia exist, Lord of the Rings exists.
>You can't portray a depressive society with happy colors
only if you're a complete hack lmao
What kind of brainrot moron take is this that medieval world was only doom and gloom and nothing else? I think you're best off sticking to capeshit
>What kind of brainrot moron take is this that medieval world was only doom and gloom and nothing else?
You should read Blood and roses, it's not strictly medieval but it describes renaissance life which is essentially the same.
TLDR it's shit and you're a huge homosexual. Seriously, you're not smart or somehow knowledgeable for being a contrarian and against le current thing
>essentially the same
Great job for revealing your 80 IQ, stopped reading there.
Your suggestion for finding out what common life was like in medieval times is a correspondence between nobles during the War of the Roses you moron.
Yes, we get it. The past was ugly and depressing. ~~*modern day*~~ is so much better!
Rapid urbanization and industrialization led to slums which was an EARLY MODERN problem. In fact, during the 19th century there was medieval nostalgia movements, saying that the past was better than what we had before.
>You can't portray a depressive society with happy colors
First of all it wasn't a depressive society, second of all you absolutely can, its even been done before, MANY TIMES. If you can't convey tone without gimping your visuals and directly telling your audience how they're supposed to be feeling you're a shitty director
Which Kurosawakino is this?
Kagemusha
Kagemusha, my favorite of his
Damn I dont remember them going to psychedelia land in that movie
the top 2 are just a sunset and a rainbow, the rest are from the dream sequence.
wow these are all ugly
>nooooo it was a depressive society cause israelites were banned from the country and Black folk weren't twerking on streetlights
lmfao
this this this
it's the actual reason
medieval times were worse for israelites so the israelites in hollywood feel obligated to pretend it was bad for everyone
what kino?
Sauce?
Raid
https://areena.yle.fi/1-93211 subs and all
who the frick thinks medieval times were depressive?
>work available
>females available and even arranged often
>better work/life hours ratios than 2024
>strong family bonds and local communities
disease, famine, mongols
>AIDS
>vaxx
>obesity
>trannies
>Black person and mudslime immigration
>disease, famine, mongols
And no loan interests. Imagine such horror!
everyone
>everyone
>work available
There's work available for you now homosexual, go suck dicks at a truckstop for a dollar.
>females available and even arranged often
If you were well-off that is, most men didn't breed.
>better work/life hours ratios than 2024
Only if you exclude other necessities of life like baking, making your own clothes, making your own rope etc etc
>strong family bonds and local communities
Yeah, sure. Just don't dream about moving because that won't extend beyond your own village. Not that you'd be even allowed to but still
>There's work available for you now homosexual, go suck dicks at a truckstop for a dollar.
I didn't say medieval times were better or there are no jobs today, but thanks for the example, yes the sucking dicks in 2024 is clearly much better experience or even same as being an honest farmer who works the soil and then chills with his family.
>If you were well-off that is, most men didn't breed.
actual moronic lie. you need to breed to get the next generation of workforce. what do you think happened to the most women if most men didn't breed? western europe had harems? how would population get going with wars and famine and all the horrible shits le dark ages crowd keep repeating if MOST MEN didn't breed you actual schizo frick.
>Only if you exclude other necessities of life like baking, making your own clothes, making your own rope etc etc
I prefer to bake and make some ropes and shit rather than drive 1.5 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the evening to commute. Also, making rope doesn't seem that DARK AGES to me, oh the horror.
>Yeah, sure. Just don't dream about moving because that won't extend beyond your own village. Not that you'd be even allowed to but still
What is pilgrimage?
>if MOST MEN didn't breed you actual schizo frick.
He's right. You can verify this by looking at Y chromosome haplogroups. Statistically speaking the majority of men didn't reproduce throughout history, and thats something thats only changed in recent history.
>I would have le virgin tradwife if I were just born 700 years earlier
You'd be a sexless homosexual back then too. You'd probably monkmax to cope.
>the Middle ages were based n trad and Roman Catholcism made everyone fulfilled and happy
>if you use color grading to communicate any kind of tone to the contrary then you're a israelite trying to smear trad EVROPA
Very underage posts.
Has anyone played the retro PC game Thief?
Anyone knows any movies with these vibes?
Dark Medieval fantasy but with a solitary vibe rather than something like Game of Thrones.
>tfw they will never ever make any medieval steampunk movie, game, or tv show ever again
At least there's always Thief modding.
My taffer.
>jarvis. invent kino
This guy is banging Jennifer Connelly as we speak
>directed Shelter
He's probably watching someone else bang her
God I wish that was me...
since most medieval stories are "hero-with-his-companions" tales, i doubt you find many, or any well known.
Northman might be the closest in vibe and restricted character amounts. basically just him sneaking around and making his way and then big eye b***h and his enemies. maybe 4 named characters in total
I don't know any movies like that, but I just want to say you're based and have good taste
God I loved Thief so much, now it's just yet another franchise that the industry has ruined.
>Dark Medieval fantasy
thief is more in the early industrialization phase of things. kind of like the late 1600s/early 1700 of real europe
Lancelot du lac 1974
>The best fantasy is written in the language of dreams. It is alive as dreams are alive, more real than real … for a moment at least … that long magic moment before we wake.
>Fantasy is silver and scarlet, indigo and azure, obsidian veined with gold and lapis lazuli. Reality is plywood and plastic, done up in mud brown and olive drab. Fantasy tastes of habaneros and honey, cinnamon and cloves, rare red meat and wines as sweet as summer. Reality is beans and tofu, and ashes at the end. Reality is the strip malls of Burbank, the smokestacks of Cleveland, a parking garage in Newark. Fantasy is the towers of Minas Tirith, the ancient stones of Gormenghast, the halls of Camelot. Fantasy flies on the wings of Icarus, reality on Southwest Airlines. Why do our dreams become so much smaller when they finally come true?
>We read fantasy to find the colors again, I think. To taste strong spices and hear the songs the sirens sang. There is something old and true in fantasy that speaks to something deep within us, to the child who dreamt that one day he would hunt the forests of the night, and feast beneath the hollow hills, and find a love to last forever somewhere south of Oz and north of Shangri-La.
>They can keep their heaven. When I die, I’d sooner go to middle Earth.
>>They can keep their heaven. When I die, I’d sooner go to middle Earth.
tolkien a catholic in heaven: wow you’re a moron
The game of Thief
Movies up until 60s sold color to fight the rise of TV.
I never traveled outside the city of my mom's apartment in my life
I recommend The Return of Martin Guerre, French film from 1982.
It takes place in the 16th century and it is about common people of the time. It is based on an interesting true story of a guy returning from war to his wife but then accused of being an imposter. Stars classic French star Gérard Depardieu.
thanks bro, I'll check it out
>Edinburgh Castle
Not a great example. Edinburgh regularly looks like bottom right. The natural light can be very muted and grey half the year.
t. I live here
medieval cameras couldn't capture the same spectrum of colors as nowadays, thats why it looks so blue
>What are some honest medieval films?
Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Andrei Rublev
but it's black and white
right side is just an average day's weather in England
timeline is actually pretty accurate
I really hope KCD2 is popular enough to end this cancerous trend
I really hope they don't frick it up.
iam a little bit scared because they hinted they might be include diversity this time
More Cumans and Tatars, I suppose
It will have lots of European diversity, just like the first. Poles, slavs, french, germans, magyars, etc. They were just claiming that to mock amerizog journalists about it later.
>moor on a pilgrimage shows up
>has one word of dialogue before a cuman shoots him in the throat with an arrow
>"Who the frick was that?"
>"I dunno, but I feel qoite 'ungry."
If you think it won't have mandated DEI shit now that they're this big you're a moron. I'll enjoy watching you cope like people did with BG3. "It's ...hu...h... not that bad...uh right?!?"
this
embracer is feeling pinched, and there's nothing to suggest they won't go for easy DEI bucks
Henry has come to see us!
why don't we go the other way and make medieval films unrealistically shiny and glossy in full bloom?
God I love this shit. Just shine the frick out of every surface with stars. make everything glow like there's Vaseline on the camera lens. Add unrealistic stage lighting and never try to achieve realism. I want a fricking STORY with VISUALS
started with humanists mistaking caroline manuscripts for roman ones and assuming the middle ages produced little writing. this continued when protestants wanted to depict the catholic era of history as backward (you get moronic claims like the spanish church didn’t want colombus to sail because they thought the earth was flat from this era). then finally enlightenment atheists used that myth in propaganda to pretend everything worthwhile about society came from them, and the rejection of past beliefs which contradicted their politics. that has been mostly stable since the 19th century. I actually think people are now starting to be way better educated about the middle ages and you see a lot more experts and medievalists calling out the whole dark age/ church bad bullshit.
Prompt?
it’s from an actual medieval book. hours of catherine of cleaves
Ok I don't know what that is, just tell me what to write into Midjourney.
KYS dumbshit zoomer
good post
also:
>historical, medieval document which was lost for centuries gets 'found' by a humanist in the renaissance when he stumbles over it in some ruins (what luck! and it happened so often, too!)
>gets published, original documents are 'lost'
if you know, you know
We could really use more dark fantasy
THE COURT JESTER
Left is boring, too realistic.
That greyish, blue tint on the right is legitimately how i see life and the world right now. I haven’t seen a sunny deep blue sky in years just light grey. Grass used to be greener too.
wow… I can’t believe medieval people thought chewing food was bad because the church said satan could enter into your stomach through gnashed up grain, so they literally swallowed it whole like snakes. worse than that… european christcucks believed that bird shit was healthy because it fell “from heaven” and so they only drank liquid bird shit, the water of course back then was toxic because the church filled rivers with animal carcasses as a sacrifice to god. truly a horrendous time to live…
Pasolini's Canterbury Tales, Decamaron and Arabian Nights
Polanski's Macbeth
John Boorman's Excalibur
Laurence Olivier's Henry V
Why do redditors have it out for this period of history so hard?
implying that it wasn’t a complete hellscape means you want everyone to return to feudalism for some reason in their heads
Because modernity is such a fricking ugly dystopic hellscape that just having a better aesthetic is enough for people to become fascinated with it
Plebbitors are the ones constantly trying to rehab it, saying moronic shit "uhm ackshually feudal peasants lived better than today". They project their socialist utopia onto the era, which is hilarious because they spent a century trying to claim the end goal of capitalism is neofeudalism only to pull a complete 180° over the last decade.
Medieval peasants had a lot of church mandated days off. Like a solid chunk of the year. American wagies get 0 (zero).
They are outclassed by the haters. Even in the history subs and the medievalist-adjacent ones they shit on the same period they love talking about. They will dedicate portions of their entire lives' to learning medieval German swordsmanship, only to believe the most basic of misconceptions throughout.
t. unironic redditor
they aren’t saying peasants lived better than today, they’re saying that your version of the middle ages is completely fictional, and judging by the fact this guy
literally has to make up fake quotes to justify his opinion that’s fairly clear.
No you've got it backwards. You are the clueless Redditor in this situation.
Its part of the israelites attack on europeans. They have to attack us on all sides
dark ages bad!
>literal textwalls of ego stroking with zero evidence to back it up
Post something from the book, rather than the writer smugly bragging about all the debates he has supposedly won.
They shit on the religious aspects whilst praising the communalism.
>Exposes himself as a moron
Soap was invented in the middle east and brought to Europe through the crusades. There's a reason why the oldest European soaps come from southern Spain and have the exact same recipe as the soaps from Palestine. The article doesn't mention the moors directly because it blows his argument out of the water. It quietly admits that European soapmaking originated in mediaeval Spain (but doesn't mention where they got it from) and then extrapolates that because the (Al-Andalus) Spanish used it "then surely this must apply to the rest of the continent". It's a dimwit 'gotcha' article meant to appeal to dimwits like (you) who don't actually know history and just look to clickbait article headlines for all your information.
>colour of the sky
The argument is about accurate portrayals of mediaeval life. Surely you can't be this stupid.
>he speculated ___ without any sources, extrapolating from half-truths based on observations of Moorish Spain
Lol
>romans had to fine people for throwing shit in the streets... Most people didn't have plumbing
And it was normal and expected to do it during the middle ages, and right up to the late 19th century and the discovery of germ theory. Another point of social regression that took centuries to correct.
>we don't know exactly where soap came from
We do know where it didn't: Europe. The earliest known soap comes from the middle east, dating to the time of the Romans. It didn't appear in continental Europe until the 8th century, and didn't enter anything resembling widespread use until the 13th and 14th; the twilight of the middle ages.
>because it blows his argument out of the water
The article barely mentions soap you moron. The article is just a description and portrayal in art of medieval bathing practices. I can send others. Here:
>Everyone was expected to ‘top and tail’ (the face, underarms, and nether regions) at least once a day. For the poor, or those living in the countryside, it could be a simple wipe down at a horse trough with a wet rag or a ‘dunking’ in a nearby source of water.
>If they had the coin, or the time to spare, jugs, hot water and bowls. Or, if they also lived in a town and weren’t shy, they could visit bath houses. There, everyone got undressed and bathed together. Medieval people were more comfortable with nudity in certain situations. While bathing, medieval people would gossip, play games, eat and drink. It was their version of going to the pub! The bathing itself consisted of washing the body with sweet smelling oils, or if they could afford it, tallow soap.
https://www.newcastlecastle.co.uk/castle-blog/medieval-hygiene?format=amp
There was never a period where people thought bathing was wrong or stopped doing it. That’s why you can’t post anything credible substantiating your claim on this, because it’s made up.
In case it isn’t obvious: HUMAN BEING HAVE TO BATHE. As i’ve already said, women get seriously sick very quickly if they don’t. What you are suggesting is literally counter to human nature and not possible. You are fricking dense
Its hopeless anon dont even bother
I understand that, I just don’t get the psychology. Like what is going on in this dudes head to believe this shit? I’m going to bed but it continues to baffle me
>social regression
There wasn’t any, as has already been pointed out to you, in the middle ages someone was paid to remove waste:
>These were called a “jakes” or a “gong,” and the men who were employed to undertake the foul-smelling task of emptying these pits were called “gongfermours” or “gong farmers.” Not surprisingly, these men were well-paid
So go ahead again, and pretend you didn’t read that and repeat the same bullshit over again.
>didn’t get widespread usage until the end of the middle ages
You’re just making shit up again kek
>These were called a “jakes” or a “gong,” and the men who were employed to undertake the foul-smelling task of emptying these pits were called “gongfermours” or “gong farmers.” Not surprisingly, these men were well-paid
NTA. That's not quite medieval, the term gongfarmer is more tudor england. Anyways there are still records of laws from earlier in the period that indicated a very steep fine for anyone caught throwing night soil from their windows within a city.
The dark ages were a thing, who says otherwise is an apologist.
There were examples of monks preserving precious manuscripipts and examples of monks destroying precious manuscripts. For the most part it was the former, because that's where we get most of our classical texts from. There was never any coordinated campaign by the church to suppress non-Christian works because they were the ones doing most of the preserving.
this is such a low IQ fricking argument. they had tons of copies of this work, it was never lost. they didn’t write over some rare autograph copy of archimedes but reused the vellum because it was expensive, and because they had tons of other copies of all this shit around europe
average house of the medieval peasant working 3 days a week, he also had a loyal big titty wife and 8 kids.
Just watch historical films made before the 2000s and 90s.
The Ridley Scott filter
What's the one below Lawrence?
>Then
>Large cast of characters
>Cast constantly humbled by others, by foreigners, and new cultures who are revealed to be quite intriguing charming admirable even in their savagery
>History plays out according to the balance of power stamping over the dramatic backstories of anybody involved
>Now
>One narcissist trope character
>Foreigners are da real civilizationers
>Bad or good history happens according to whether anybody deserved it according to modern morality
Medieavel people actually believed demonic spirits could enter through the anus, which is why they persecuted anyone caught wiping their rear which was seen as “sodomy” and punishable by death, whereupon the flesh of the victim would often be placed inside communion bread to trick the populace into thinking it was a eucharistic miracle. This was a common occurrence. A habit developed in the middle ages of “crusting” whereby the dry excrement on peoples rears would form into a solid, flaky glaze which would be ripped off all at once and used as seasoning for food, as medieaval people didn’t know about germ theory (one early scientist in france proposed that disease was spread by “tiny animals” in unclean food- he was burned at the stake for contradicting church dogma) and therefore could not possibly have known it was unsafe to digest literal shit because the science was lost after rome fell- constantine himself personally ordered all hygiene manuscripts burned at the stake for blasphemy. This policy alone is estimated to have caused 5 trillion deaths in the dark ages
>gets so bootyblasted he starts strawmanning and false-flagging to try and derail the thread
Love to see it
nobody is falseflagging, they’re making fun of you. but it says a lot that you think posts like this
are meant to seriously reflect you, shows a lot about the kind of shit you actually find believable
I literally just read the abstract which makes it incredibly clear that bathing wasn’t restricted at all
>Most of my work focuses on the later Middle Ages, the time of the development of the written vernaculars of western Europe and the rise of romance as a literary genre. But in thinking about my research project on baths and bathing in medieval literature and society in relation to the Durham research theme ‘The Recovery of Beauty,’ I realized that I needed to know much more about the attitude of the early Church to bathing, and how this evolved in the later Middle Ages. It turns out to be considerably more complex than one might suppose. The early Christians, living in the Roman empire with its culture of bathing, did not all condemn it out of hand. The growth of the ascetic movement and monasticism produced some extremely negative reactions to bathing, but some churches and monasteries built and maintained baths for the poor and sick, and many senior clerics also created splendid bath suites for themselves. In the later Middle Ages, preachers inveighed against luxurious bathing, but both male and female religious continued to enjoy public and private baths, which were increasingly popular across western Europe, and bathing imagery was sometimes used by ecclesiastical writers for didactic purposes. This ambivalent attitude is reflected in the imaginative literature of the period.
basically, it says early ascetics avoided it, and some preachers associated luxurious baths with conspicuous waste. but that bathing itself was never restricted and was always widely practiced.
>israeli witch doctors
They knew it was spread person to person. They accused israelites of dumping infected bodies in wells.
>throw shit out of the window
As has been pointed out and ignored, they fined people for it and paid people to clean it. Same as rome.
>dead animals in the street
Just making stuff up again.
Black person, one person saying something doesn’t give you carte blanche to outright lie and falsify to create an equally moronic picture of history. You’ve been caught making shit up more than anyone else ITT.
https://daily.jstor.org/scrub-a-dub-in-a-medieval-tub/
Written for JSTOR, the biggest humanities publication, by a professor.
>While the stereotype about the Middle Ages is that it was an era of darkness and filth, medieval art and literature suggest the opposite—it was a colorful epoch, even bright—during which people delighted in bathing and appreciated its medicinal value.
You are just wrong, and the article you posted doesn’t say anywhere that people didn’t bathe.
What's really funny is when there are tons of torches lining the walls inside a medieval dwelling, and the production crew is constantly having problems with it staining the walls, filling up the room with smoke, being a constant fire hazard, etc.
Yet nobody during filming ever says "Hey maybe they didn't actually fricking do this"
it doesn't matter. people think they did. so they must.
>crew is constantly having problems with it staining the walls
Also low burn time and need constantly replacing them...
it was actually true in Britain because its always fricking cloudy here
I like cloudy weather. instead I live in the shitass desert.
Every video I've seen taken in modern day Britain looks grey and shitty.
>regular bathing was restricted to the arab-influenced areas of Europe until the late middle ages.
That's wrong, bathing STOPPED in the very late middle ages because bath houses got shut down due to the Black Death.
ALL through the middle ages, Roman-style bath houses were common and everyone bathed at least once a week. Public baths were a very important part of culture, people back then in the HRE literally considered themselves Romans after all.
>They thought illness was caused by miasma and imbalance of the four humours.
So did everyone else.. Literally all medicine in that time was based on ancient Greek 4 humours theory via Hippocrates/Galen. Euro medicine, Arab medicine, Indian medicine etc.
The Indian/Arab system even exists today, called Unani medicini (Unani is the Indian word for Greek, from Ionian).
People who don't understand, get immersed by, colorgrading are the same kind of people who don't understand what they would feel like if they didn't have breakfast, picturing images in their mind, having an inner monologue etc.
Ivanhoe
Flesh + Blood
Timeline
>Be me
>American with an interest in Medieval History
>Every time some idiot says something stupid he gets called American
I assure you we don't claim them.
The Hour of The Pig and Lancelot du Lac.
>ctrl-f A Knight's Tale
>no frickin results
What the frick happened to this board
Pillars of the Earth
prime Atwell breasts
A Knight's Tale
I’ll always love and defend this movie, dgaf what anyone says. It’s comfy as hell.
that's such a dishonest still
?
gaaaaayyyy
next thing youll be telling me is that Mexico isnt actually yellow. stop before you blow my mind
The "dark ages" were when Satan was locked up in the pit, hence why the colour palette used by his children, israelites, is dark because it was a bad time for them. He has been released since.
Nothing they do is without a deeper, sinister reason.
>The Legend of Prince Valiant is an animated television series based on the Prince Valiant comic strip created by Hal Foster. Set in the time of King Arthur, it is a family-oriented adventure show about an exiled prince who goes on a quest to become one of the Knights of the Round Table.[4] He begins his quest after having a dream about Camelot and its idealistic New Order. This television series originally aired on The Family Channel for a total run of 65 episodes.
>Like the original comic strip, the series begins with the fall of Thule, the fictional kingdom to which Prince Valiant is heir. Valiant, his parents, and a group of survivors from the castle are exiled by the ruthless conqueror Cynan to a hostile marsh across the sea. The young prince, deeply saddened by this defeat and vengeful towards Cynan, attempts to make the best of his new life but craves some greater purpose. He finds this purpose when he has a series of dreams about a kingdom called Camelot, King Arthur, Merlin, and the Knights of the Round Table. Valiant becomes enraptured with Camelot's New Order, which is founded on the ideas that might does not make right and that truth, justice, honor and friendship should be the guiding forces in people's dealings with each other. Against the wishes of his father, Valiant leaves the exiles' settlement in search of Camelot so that he may serve King Arthur as a Knight of the Round Table.
full playlist:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgkKj2n1LjA_iQFGmUKMx3WQPsDw1GZ6-
This is why I can't watch Shogun 2024.
Wakarimasu KA?
>posts a picture of a member of a several hundred year old israeli psyop to ruin the catholic church as proof
You may want to actually read about what jesuits are. There is a reason they originated in spain
he’s literally some pajeet who spams all day every day seething about christianity. he gets the images from a telegram channel run by a south american. there’s no point trying to reason because he just robotically repeats the same lines, genuinely he does this 12 hours a day.
Lmao makes sense. I must have encountered him before. Brown people and atheists are so damn pathetic
this. thats not real commu- i mean christianity
weren’t commies state atheist? was that not “real” atheism?
Commies are closet monarchists
oh right, it wasn’t “real” atheism then, lmao
What fricking universe are you in? Man this statement hurts my head it's so stupid.
The universe that sees israelites for what they are
Communists, the guys that fought against the monarchist in the russian revolution, are closet monarchists? Monarchists, the ones that believe the ruler gets approval from God to rule are communists? Dude you must be one of the most moronic people I've ever seen on here. Communists are hegelian, they worship the state as god. They aren't monarchists... I think I'm done with this site for the day. If that was your goal I guess it was accomplished?
i-it wasn’t real atheism!!! real atheism isn’t a politburo filled with israelites or chinks massacring millions! please!! trust the science!!!
Wow samegay much? Lmao. Fricking israelite trying to muddy the waters. Or just brown and moronic. Frick off.
>Bolsheviks totally weren't overwhelmingly israelites
Furthermore, they don't worship the intangible fricking state. They worship the head of the state ala a king.
Get a load of this israelite
They replaced a Christian monarchy with a israelite one called the Bolsheviks.
>I can't reeeeeaad
jej they are pretty similiar to muzzies in that regard and as easily triggered. just not able to get violent anymore
80% of the thread is one redditor having a meltdown because someone pointed out that medieval people bathed
My concept art for kino television and film(picrel)
Cast them.
Cozy cottages, castles, and cathedrals
there are several inaccuracies in this film
Name em
Animals couldn't talk properly back then.
Yes they could. You'd just need to drink a bit of dragon blood. Read the Volsung Saga or Nibelungenlied
General rule of thumb for poor home:
> thatched roof
> dirt floor
> mud wall (whitewashed)
> timber frame
> glassless window with shutters
> one room, maybe a loft
> fire pit hearth in the middle of room
> woven rush mat
> hay sac for floor bed with woolen blanket
> board used as a shelf
> vegetables and meat hanging from wall and beams
> clay pots and wicker baskets
> bread trenchers, wooden bowls, and boiled leather jugs
Some had a rope bed, an arc (chest), and some stool or bench seats
>continued
Chimneys were rare and only in rich homes until the late 15th Century when they began to spread. Pic related is what a rich girl's bedchamber may look like
Cottages would be surrounded by gardens of vegetable patches, flowers, herbs, and orchards. They'd also have a pen or coop or sty for birds and beasts, though some peasants lived with their farm animals. Wattle fences enclosed gardens and pens
Narrow winding dirt paths with potholes would be the norm in medieval villages and throughout the countryside
Life was more communal. A whole family would sleep together on pallets/palliase stuffed with hay (a hay sack) made of canvas, with a woolen shroud for a blanket. This was laid on a woven rush mat over the dirt floor, which is where we may get the word mattress or mat rest. The bed would be by the hearth fire for warmth. Peasants would wear long shirts, gowns, and night caps or chaperon hoods much like the night caps and night gowns we think of to keep warm. Dogs often slept with people in the same bed.
>Dogs often slept with people in the same bed.
They still do tho
Just goes to show that some things never change
Most cottages would have timber frames and have either cob, adobe brick, or wattle and daub between the posts and beams
Hearths had their fire left to simmer on their own late into the night to keep the home warm. Supposedly they'd be set alight again when folk woke up in the middle of the night
Folk would sleep from dusk till dawn, waking up only when the wiener calls aloud. They'd start their day with prayer and washing their faces at the basin
Most folk back then would be barefoot and bare legged. In fact, most won't even wear underwear
Most women married in their late teens and most men married in their early twenties. Child marriage did occur but was probably either done for business-political reasons between families or out of desperation during hard times
A typical medieval village would have >a dozen or more households
>a well
>farms
>granaries
>an oven (communal earthen oven)
>a mill
>a forge
>a pond
>a press for fruit juice and seed oil
>a loom
>a plow (an ard)
>a shrine or church
Back then, everyone wore woolen and linen cloth. Wool is in nature either white or cream color. Linen is cream color in nature but can be whitened by washing with water and drying under the sun
Weld, woad, and madder were commonly used for dye. Weld was yellow and the most common. Woad was blue. Madder was more expensive and was red. Onion skin was used for yellow as well
Yellow and blue dyes were common in Europe as far back as the New Stone Age (Neolithic) if not earlier. Celts and Germans extensively used dyes. By the Middle Ages, dyes were very common, though most folk still wore white and cream color cloth
Most people were illiterate at that time. Not that it mattered given most folk were peasants aka tenant farmers paying rent to a big landlord