What could he have possibly wished for that wouldnt have had any negative side effects?

He even somehow managed to frick up wishing for a turkey sandwich

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    the sandwich was fine, his expectations are just too high

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Nah, dry turkey sucks.

      https://i.imgur.com/VifGNEl.jpeg

      He even somehow managed to frick up wishing for a turkey sandwich

      I think the key is to wish for something bad which could ironically turn out to be good. I'm too tired/drunk to think of an example though.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        What if he just wished
        >I wish that none of the outcomes of my wishes would have negative side effects including this one
        I can’t see how that could be bad

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Then the wish would be too perfect that it'll drive you bonkers

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          What is negative can be subjective. And negative for who? he never clarified.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Okay what if he rephrased it to specifically be worded
            >I wish that none of the outcomes of my wishes would have side effects that I personally would deem to be negative including this one
            I feel like that’s pretty fricking iron clad

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              I may not be able to, but the paw always finds a way, anon
              Also that might be like wishing for wishes, meta stuff just doesn't work

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >paw proceeds to give you the finger and stops working

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The wish would simply do nothing and you'd lose your fricking mind trying to figure out what the frick the wish did.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            But that’s a negative side effect. Per the conditions of the wish it should be impossible

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Promoting classic simpsons
    You are the problem.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A pair of comfortable pants that always fits him and always has the exact amount of money for any purchase you can possibly think of in the pockets

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >he can never take them off

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      What if they were always really stinky?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He never stated how they should look, feel, smell, etc

      They could be skintight leather chaps that reek of month old animal carcasses, and are filled with itching powder, so he can't stomach wearing them

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He DID say they needed to be comfortable, so that should rule out them being skin tight I think. There’s no such thing as skin tight pants that are also comfortable

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I was just thinking about this episode this morning; what was the negative side effect for Maggie's pacifier? Did it have lead in it?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The negative was that she wasted a whole wish on a dummy.

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They don't make em like this anymore

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      People paid money at places to watch TV?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yes, TV use to be expensive

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It was probably a feature of bus stations and such for a brief period in the late 80's to early 90's. I can't help but imagine vandalism/damage resulting from attempted theft etc. rendered them pretty unprofitable. Bear in mind that in ye olde days there was frick all to do when waiting for public transport if you weren't carrying a book or magazine with you. And who wants to touch any shared literature in a bus shelter?

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Give it to Flanders and quote a bible verse about giving to thy neighbor or something. Flanders gets rich and gives you some out of gratitude, his churchyness protects him from and cursed side effects.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I recall several times where Ned was canonically saved or protected by God, so using Ned to ward off the paw's bud juju is an interesting idea.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My favourite Lisa episode personally

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Is this real? I don't recall this

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Nope. Ai generated.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Frick I'm so sick of that shit already.

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    "I wish to use up a wish". Can't backfire, you get exactly what you asked for.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Consistent above average luck on everything I do.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This would technically just balance itself out. You need to wish for consistent good luck on every single event propagated by you physically.

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    More monkey paws?

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wish for the thing I wish for in exactly the way that I wish for it and not with any unforeseen side effects or ancillary outcomes. And should any such outcomes occur anyway in a way outside the spectrum of this decree i shall have the power-- itself exactly as I envision and without ancillary outcomes-- to reverse or negate such outcomes, this clause also subject to previous decree against such negative or unforeseen outcomes. The paw shall furthermore constrain itself to working within a framework whereby it reverses moves or negates any negative wish outcomes which may possibly occur outside of my imagination as the wisher or outside the framework of the previous dictums of this decree.

    Did I cover all bases? Frick you monkeys paw.

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    test

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