Maybe the Nabootons know politics is fake and gay so they just go for the dumbest option every time. Kinda based. Probably vote for Gungans by the time of the Disney sequels.
In the HRE the election was done by 4 highest ranking nobleman and 3 archbishops. And in practice those 7 guys usually voted in the last emperor's son because 1) they wanted stability 2) most alternate candidates were some foreign king that tried to bribe them.
Elective monarchy might have certain rules where only people of the dynasty can be elected, or at least electors can be bribed to accept the underage heir.
But it doesn't seem to be the case for Naboo, so yeah, it's weird.
>George wants you to believe Padme was a wonderful hyper competent person. Naboo was a beautiful planet that didn't do nothing. >Heavily implies in the world building that Padme is the equivalent of a Indira Ghandi that got put into power due to family legacy and calcified corrupt politics
They weren't really. He landed one of the biggest roles a child actor could get but didn't have acting talent and grew into an ugly manlet. He peaked before puberty and it fricked his head up so the narrative is "toxic fans did this to him because the movies were bad" when the reality it he was doomed from the start (just like the character--it rhymes).
Yeah, I hate that "toxic fans" catch the blame when this actually happens to 90% of any child actor. And I honestly have trouble believing that people were bullying this kid for being in a fricking movie and hanging out with Natalie Portman, that's the sort of thing that gets the teacher to suck you off in a closet, not bullied. Its all just sympathy bait and revisionist shit.
I'm not american, so I couldn't be really aware of it at the time, but it's the same with the Jar Jar actor, no?
Everyone was shitting on the character, but I doubt most people knew who was behind the costume to directly target him.
>grew into an ugly manlet
This anon gets it. Look at Haley Joel Osment. Another ugly manlet. The best he could get was having his face smashed in in the boys. How has he not roped yet? I would. Dude has to take his sister to awards shows because no roastie will touch him. Absolutely brutal blackpill
because he was fricking annoyed as shit and everyone hated the movie. They wouldn't stop talking shit and hating on it and eventually the internet happened and rlm made those vids
100% the hate he got had to do with his downfall. there's no way it didn't. he was known by the whole world as the annoying whiney child that played darth vader
this anon
They weren't really. He landed one of the biggest roles a child actor could get but didn't have acting talent and grew into an ugly manlet. He peaked before puberty and it fricked his head up so the narrative is "toxic fans did this to him because the movies were bad" when the reality it he was doomed from the start (just like the character--it rhymes).
child actors all get bullied to shit, it really doesn't matter how the movie was received, literally just being in a film even in a supporting role will 100% turn your school life into a nightmare. what impacted his life wasn't nerds screeching online but the kids that'd go LOOK HERE COMES MR MOVIE STAR and punch him in the nuts every single day
>wow unbearable
yes, actually, having your entire social life obliterated at an early age will frick you up permanently. and you're still being a moron by assuming the bullying would have anything to do with star wars at all. star wars doesn't matter, what matters is that becoming a movie star turns a kid into a hatred magnet for all of his peers. can you imagine why his situation might have been bad or are you too autistic?
Funny how Rey had NOTHING memorable or cool or decent in the sequels. Lucas had so many passionate artists with him, its unreal
8 months ago
Anonymous
Yeah, none of them are what I'd call bad, but they also aren't anything special.
8 months ago
Anonymous
it certainly didn't help that Daisy is the definition of plain jane
8 months ago
Anonymous
I want to Date Rey Palpatine
8 months ago
Anonymous
>Three of the outfits are the same, only different colours.
Wow, how diverse.v2tvt8
8 months ago
Anonymous
They don't really say anything about the character in the way Luke's different outfits did. Luke's outfits weren't exciting to look at or anything, but they did track with the character.
[lucas going through the preliminary costume designs for attack of the clones, pointing at every single one for natalie portman and telling them to remove the midriff part]
The original intend was that Anakin's fall was exactly as Obi-wan had told Luke: He got (slowly) seduced by the dark side and lust for power. Padme's love or his fear of losing her had nothing to do with his fall, let alone a single dream. Lucas changed it when he got criticized for making Anakin's reasons for embracing the dark side a bit too subtle and unspoken.
>Only those two xenos >No Zeltrons, No Chiss, No Mirialans, No Dathomirian Night Sisters, No Sith Pureblods
There's more to The Galaxy then worm heads.
>While Obi-wan was busy mourning Qui-Gon, Padme and her handmaidens were molesting Anakin every night until they left Naboo.
No wonder he was obsessed with her for 10 years.
>While Obi-wan was busy mourning Qui-Gon, Padme and her handmaidens were molesting Anakin every night until they left Naboo.
No wonder he was obsessed with her for 10 years.
>Come to my quarters, Ani. >I want to introduce you to all my handmaidens so we all can thank you personally for saving our planet.
George said having a high midichlorian count results in a far short refractory period.
When they were done with poor Ani he had to be put in a bacta tank.
i don't get some of those fetishes. how does that even work physically, a little boy and a cavernous roastie? that's not sex, that's throwing a pencil down the well.
i understand that, i'm asking what the fantasy even is. do you imagine that little boys have huge penises or that roasties have tiny veganas or that in this "universe" sex is not based on friction or what?
>Instead of joining the Jedi, Anakin becomes the 14 year old Queen's 9 year old consort that she shares with her female servants.
Such a progressive ruler.
>write Darth Vader as a precocious kid so you have to make the love interest a teenager >teenager is the ruler of a planet (elected "Queen")
Holy shit it was bad. You can insert headcanon like "maybe she was so young because of a monarchy/democracy hybrid system" but the reality is George Lucas is as moronic as his fans.
Pretty sure her adoptive mother was a queen or some shit. But yeah, Lucas is a bad writer so he probably did it so she could be an actual princess. How would a hereditary title in a democracy even work, kek. Imagine having to call the children of politicians "prince/princess."
There are like a million explanations. Maybe in their culture young girls are associated with wisdom or something. Maybe it's tradition to have a young queen with older advisors. Maybe the elections are more about the noble family and less about the person running and she was the only one eligible, throughout history certain peoples have closely aligned themselves with royal families and cared about legitimacy more than anything.
>There are like a million explanations.
When you have to insert headcanon in order to make things make sense it's bad writing. The reality is George Lucas wanted to show us Darth Vader as a plucky kid (i.e. hack stock character) so he made a 14 year-old the elected ruler of an entire planet (during a major crisis no less, kek). The thing about the prequels is the more you pay attention the worse they are. In order to enjoy them you have to have a room temperature IQ.
This is autism. You have autism. It's internally consistent without a need for a deep explanation of the political system. You don't have to know the exact reason why. It's possible. It's plausible. That's all that matters.
>It's internally consistent without a need for a deep explanation of the political system.
Pointing out that something doesn't make sense at face value is hardly autism, anon. It's called not being a moron.
>Obi-Wan asks "how did you become queen" after she does something silly >Natalie Portman stares into the camera and explains that she comes from a well regarded noble family
10/10 now that's what I call kino.
>democratically elected leader of an entire planet >she can just walk around in the open and even the Jedi sent to protect don't know what she looks like
It makes so much sense when you think about it.
How often do you see pictures of people in Star Wars? Newspapers? Particularly on Naboo all we see are some shitty holograms. Who knows how much people know about their queen.
8 months ago
Anonymous
>headcanon to square the circle
The democratically elected leader of an entire planet could go unrecognized in plain sight. The people sent to protect her didn't even know what she looked like. It's another example of something you think about for 3 seconds and realize just why the movies are really dumb.
8 months ago
Anonymous
She clearly wore elaborate clothing and makeup to mask her identity. You have autism.
8 months ago
Anonymous
Haven't been following the debate and don't care but this sounds like projection. You are making up gay complicated theories about star wars and calling another person 'autistic'
8 months ago
Anonymous
>she was in disguise
She clearly wasn't. Holy shit you're moronic.
It is not about inserting headcanon, its about not losing your mind over minute details that don't matter and could easily be explained. George obviously doesn't want to waste time on insane nitpicks. The thing is that the film gave you a bad vibe, and people have found incredibly arbitrary things to explain their dislike because they have a room temperature IQ. Why is the sky blue on Tatooine? Who gives a shit. The great thing about the Prequels is the more you are acquainted with film, the more depth you find.
>It is not about inserting headcanon
That's what you did though. Something became silly when you thought about it for 5 seconds so you invented a bunch of excuses that have nothing to do with the movie in order to cope. >losing your mind over minute details that don't matter
It isn't just minute details though. For example, the entire forbidden romance plot doesn't actually add conflict to the story and drive the plot. The audience is simply told it's forbidden directly but it doesn't generate any actual conflict. A prequelgay will sperg "ACKTULLY ANAKIN WAS CONFUSED AND...blah blah blah" (i.e. prequelgays tend to point out obvious plot beats while remaining completely filtered by how they fall apart in context) but if you think about it there were 0 barriers in their way and the plot drove the relationship. That's bad writing. There's also the whole trusting a secret army that appeared out of nowhere (convenient, kek) in the course of investigating a conspiracy or the fact Anakin goes along with a sith who started a war that has killed untold billions for the sake of his own power ("to me the Jedi are evil," thanks for spelling it out George) over the people he's been with for most of his life. >George obviously doesn't want to waste time on insane nitpicks
From the guy who sticks in as much shit as he can for the sake of merchandizing? Wow, you're dumb. >The thing is that the film gave you a bad vibe, and people have found incredibly arbitrary things to explain their dislike
It didn't give me any vibe, moron. And character arcs and convulted plot threads that conflict with one another aren't arbitrary. >because they have a room temperature IQ
Can you do better than "no you?" >The great thing about the Prequels is the more you are acquainted with film, the more depth you find
Nope, you just wrote the opposite of exactly what I wrote. No wonder you're cool with shitty writing and low levels of creativity.
This is autism. You have autism. It's internally consistent without a need for a deep explanation of the political system. You don't have to know the exact reason why. It's possible. It's plausible. That's all that matters.
The prequels are absolute shit for a lot of reasons, but this nitpick is not really one of them. The real problem with the prequels is the bone dry dialogue, wooden characters and the Jedi/Republic political stuff being so center stage that it ruined the OG trilogy idea that the Jedi as an entity and the whole religion having almost burned out as a relevant force in the universe long before the end of the republic, such that the vast majority people had never seen a Jedi and they had almost passed into myth.
It would have been so much better if they'd had focused on other characters like Obi-wan or other aspects of the falling republic and rising empire and left the major characters of the OG trilogy story to only appear in passing or be hinted at because the established backstories didn't need any more detail and didn't leave enough room for the plot because everyone knows where it is leading from the start so everything you're shown just feels like filler.
>this nitpick is not really one of them
It demonstrates George writing shit that's convenient for the plot but is stupid as soon as the audience notices it. Is it the most major thing? No, there are lots of other problem. Is it just one of multiple examples that can be brought up relating to how badly written the prequels are? Yes.
8 months ago
Anonymous
there's a million ways to handwave it. Alien culture / "privative" customs that the current government rigidly adhere to etc. Child rulers were totally common in many of our cultures based on noble blood, religious signs, sword in a stone whatever the frick you want. Sci-fi brings that all into the plausible zone and Naboo being this unearthly beautiful and advanced culture with all these elaborate customs and costumes makes perfect sense. The problem arises when George mashes it up with a dry, grinding political conflict and brings the battle right to Naboo: it didn't have the nice contrast he was going for but rather just muddied both aspects of the story which is why TPM feels like a mess. Compare it to The Last Samurai: where the enclave of rogue Samurai and their village is presented distinctly as this beautiful, regimented, self-contained culture of bushido and its stark contrast to the dirty political posturing of the palace intrigue and the western influences on the society as a whole. This feels like the sort of contrast George is trying to show
8 months ago
Anonymous
>there's a million ways to handwave it.
Stopped reading there because that's true of anything. Democratically electing a 14 year-old as the ruler of an entire planet, who then proceeds to walk around unnoticed in plain sight, is moronic at face value. It's an example of bad writing.
8 months ago
Anonymous
>is moronic at face value
doesn't have to be. her function might be largely ceremonial, she might have been elected mostly to "symbolize" certain virtues with the understanding that the practicalities will be dealt with by her ministers etc etc. you can buy two-headed aliens but not that an alien planet might have goofy customs?
8 months ago
Anonymous
>her function might be largely ceremonial
It wasn't portrayed as ceremonial and there are specific examples in the first and second movie contrary to that.
in china, child emperors were housed with entire troupes of Eunichs who advised the royal house and often would use this close control of the emperor to seize political power.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Attendants
>Holy shit it was bad.
egypt was run by a child more than once.
some of the greatest thing humans have ever build was built under them, for them.
millions of people bowing to their rule.
its not really that outlandish
if thats the law thats the law >person becomes ruler >ruler dies >title and role goes to next of kin regardless of age
pretty simple and actually historically accurate shit.
Loved TPM as a kid, hated the gay romance shit in AotC as a 12 year old but liked detective obi wan and Geonosis and RotS was the best movie I'd seen in my life at the time. The PT was a rollercoaster
Wasn't she like 100 years old when they met or some shit? I thought Naboo ages were fricky because Palpatine is from Naboo but no one from there recognizes him even though he's a senator.
He is a product of an older generation, where mothers told their sons that they should take an older wife, so they'd have someone to take care of them.
Did the whole pretentious prequelgay thing really start because people were ironically saying how great they were and morons thought they were serious?
no scat or foot shit or any of the author's blatant fetishes, no crossovers (seriously frick mha,highschool dxd and rwby they pollute like 90% of the porn fics). just straight up ss
Literally just filter anakin/ padme on ao3, idiot.
I'm actually surprised there's so many.
And I'm even more surprised there are marginally more of them than anakin/ obi-wan ones. Fujos be sleeping.
>Literally just filter anakin/ padme on ao3, idiot.
the filter doesn't do jack shit at the best of times. fricking christ kylo ren still somehow managed to sneak his way in even with the fricking flters. that's why I was asking for recommendations. I'd rather not wade through rivers of shit.
Just keep filtering, dumbass.
I'll have to disappoint you, but after doing your work for you, only this sorry excuse of a fic came up lol
https://archiveofourown.org/works/44688937
Maybe this one has some /ss/ too, idk.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/36803872/
>be former slave kid >suddenly gets hots for princess >try rizzing her up for most of your life. >you two finally get together, but only after your mom gets murdered. >she gets knocked up cause you forgot the wrapper
Welp I guess I gotta go murder some children now.
Let's be real though. Sabe/Padme's double AKA Keira Knightley is the superior of the duo. She is superior in looks, a superior actress, had the superior career both box office wise and acclaim wise and has a better filmography. She probably would have been cast for the lead role if she was only a little older and was better known. We all know it.
but is there a whole pedobait movie where she's 12 and running around in skimpy outfits literally begging to be deflowered? no? then she is not superior to hershlag
>She literally showed her breasts on screen at 16.
and nobody cared. i guarantee that more seed was spilled to fully clothed hershlag in leon than to keira's titflash, by a factor of 10000.
Isn't she supposed to be like 14? The clown makeup makes her look much older, I mean it's still weird but it's not that big an age gap, about 5 years, deffo strange when he's like 9 but much less so when he's 20.
I still think making Anakin so young was a really stupid choice, I once read George did it simply because he couldn't imagine an older boy caring so much about his mother, but isn't he a fricking israelite? Aren't israelites supposed to be obsessed with their mothers to an incestuous degree?
>I'm making kino.
Me on the left
Me on the right uWu
herschlag browses Cinemaphile!?
You will never be a woman.
>I'm going to milk this 10 year old so hard my new nickname will be the milkmaiden
a 4 year age gap? grrrrr..
Canonically Padme was 14 but I'm pretty sure Hershlag was actually in college when the movie was made.
No she was in high school.
>Canonically Padme was 14
Why did Naboo vote for a 14 year old queen? No wonder the Trade Federation pushed their shit in.
Because it's the age they become adults
>old fart vs sexy teen girl
i know who i'd vote for. this is why the minimum age in the US is 35.
Also interesting, in the old canon at least, her handmaidens were her political rivals she beat for the throne. Seems kinda awkward.
Makes sense.Using your former rivals as shields AND hostages is smart.
In aotc, Padme says there were younger queens
Yes, queens of an entire planet younger than 14
Maybe the Nabootons know politics is fake and gay so they just go for the dumbest option every time. Kinda based. Probably vote for Gungans by the time of the Disney sequels.
Reminder Jar Jar became a fricking politician.
There were kings in history who succeeded the throne at the age of 10
Because the king died
On naboo it's an election
That was hireditary though. Naboo is an elective monarchy which means the people CHOSE a 14 year old girl to lead an entire planet.
What if the other choice was a 13 year old girl?
>he doesn't know about the Holy Roman Empire
>
>
>
In the HRE the election was done by 4 highest ranking nobleman and 3 archbishops. And in practice those 7 guys usually voted in the last emperor's son because 1) they wanted stability 2) most alternate candidates were some foreign king that tried to bribe them.
>which means the people CHOSE a 14 year old girl to lead an entire planet
Pretty sure a lot of people here would vote for this instead of an old man.
Elective monarchy might have certain rules where only people of the dynasty can be elected, or at least electors can be bribed to accept the underage heir.
But it doesn't seem to be the case for Naboo, so yeah, it's weird.
Who had regents.
>George wants you to believe Padme was a wonderful hyper competent person. Naboo was a beautiful planet that didn't do nothing.
>Heavily implies in the world building that Padme is the equivalent of a Indira Ghandi that got put into power due to family legacy and calcified corrupt politics
how do you even vote for a queen?
I'm in college and I'm 24
>4 year age gap
It's a 6 year age cap you noob. Anakin is 9 and Padme's 14.
That's not how math works, moron.
moron that's 8 years
>ywn be a 13 year old boy in scarlets bathroom
That's the face of a kid that fricked the Queen and her half dozen handmaidens the night before.
Lol the b***h on the far right looks like Queen Ameedalla
So wait, which one abused him?
That all fricked and sucked little Ani.
Midichlorians make the seed sweet.
That's Keira Knightley, you know?
>"Alright princess, fancy a shag?"
No, I'm happy with my current carpets and rugs right now, thank you.
you just know
Why was everyone so mean to him?
They were jealous
They weren't really. He landed one of the biggest roles a child actor could get but didn't have acting talent and grew into an ugly manlet. He peaked before puberty and it fricked his head up so the narrative is "toxic fans did this to him because the movies were bad" when the reality it he was doomed from the start (just like the character--it rhymes).
Yeah, I hate that "toxic fans" catch the blame when this actually happens to 90% of any child actor. And I honestly have trouble believing that people were bullying this kid for being in a fricking movie and hanging out with Natalie Portman, that's the sort of thing that gets the teacher to suck you off in a closet, not bullied. Its all just sympathy bait and revisionist shit.
I'm not american, so I couldn't be really aware of it at the time, but it's the same with the Jar Jar actor, no?
Everyone was shitting on the character, but I doubt most people knew who was behind the costume to directly target him.
>grew into an ugly manlet
This anon gets it. Look at Haley Joel Osment. Another ugly manlet. The best he could get was having his face smashed in in the boys. How has he not roped yet? I would. Dude has to take his sister to awards shows because no roastie will touch him. Absolutely brutal blackpill
he's probably gay
because he was fricking annoyed as shit and everyone hated the movie. They wouldn't stop talking shit and hating on it and eventually the internet happened and rlm made those vids
100% the hate he got had to do with his downfall. there's no way it didn't. he was known by the whole world as the annoying whiney child that played darth vader
this anon
is wrong
annoying*
child actors all get bullied to shit, it really doesn't matter how the movie was received, literally just being in a film even in a supporting role will 100% turn your school life into a nightmare. what impacted his life wasn't nerds screeching online but the kids that'd go LOOK HERE COMES MR MOVIE STAR and punch him in the nuts every single day
to shit
>Star Wars is gay!
>Yipee! Hey Anakin go home and get your podracer
>(lightsaber noises)
wow unbearable
>wow unbearable
yes, actually, having your entire social life obliterated at an early age will frick you up permanently. and you're still being a moron by assuming the bullying would have anything to do with star wars at all. star wars doesn't matter, what matters is that becoming a movie star turns a kid into a hatred magnet for all of his peers. can you imagine why his situation might have been bad or are you too autistic?
Could be worse, jarjar nearly topped himself
>hey ani! Meesa gonna rope
>jarjar nearly topped himself
Impressive flexibility.
caroosc**t?
Old hags are made for young men. You're supposed to practice on them, not get attached.
She was 14 in TPM
/ss/ is the supreme fetish
>Come to my quarters, Ani.
>I want to introduce you to all my handmaidens so we all can thank you personally for saving our planet.
>one at a time, or all at once?
>Oh, Ani. The girls and I do everything together.
>*furiously sweating ani*
>master Qui-Gon's jedi teachings didn't prepare me for this
>SproING-o!
>can't have sex
>spends her days in tight outfits teasing him
what the hell is her problem? does she not respect the jedi order?
She can't help it, she's a Senator.
They can do other things...
>the dress by the fireplace
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
What a bawd, trying to seduce an innocent, young virgin.
Reminder that was the one outfit designed directly by George Lucas in Attack of the Clones
god i miss coomer filmmakers
what did he say?
“sneed”
Move along, move along
>you look like a cut of frickable meat, are you?
Who is she
frick making movies, he should go into designing women's eveningwear. i'm giving it three thumbs up
https://youtube.com/shorts/ZGAWYXpoVc8?si=MnXn6pCL29q5hP82
you dont say? I thought it was Eminem when he was working in 8 mile
The prequels had their problems, but Padme always had top tier designs in basically every scene she's in.
Funny how Rey had NOTHING memorable or cool or decent in the sequels. Lucas had so many passionate artists with him, its unreal
Yeah, none of them are what I'd call bad, but they also aren't anything special.
it certainly didn't help that Daisy is the definition of plain jane
I want to Date Rey Palpatine
>Three of the outfits are the same, only different colours.
Wow, how diverse.v2tvt8
They don't really say anything about the character in the way Luke's different outfits did. Luke's outfits weren't exciting to look at or anything, but they did track with the character.
>rey the grey to rey the white
bravo disney
Rey was dope you frickin incel
For me, it's the light blue dress.
>Ywn smudge Padme's facepaint
Why live tbh.
>luke did i ever tell you about your mother?
Seriously what the FRICK where they thinking? She looks like frickmeat.
there are no panties in space so you know he got an eye full of her cameltoe as well.
>skintight white clothing
what if she got a wet spot?
I believe they call it banthatoe
The Jedi aren't celibate, she was trying to get Anakin's dick again
wtf why did I never notice her pokies in this shot
>those nips
frick me
[lucas going through the preliminary costume designs for attack of the clones, pointing at every single one for natalie portman and telling them to remove the midriff part]
I can literally hear the music just by looking at that picture.
PEACE
Do israeli women really act this way....?
Yes.
Sexy little israelite nymphettes are always trying to steal the white man's vital fluids
yes
t. blonde hair blue eyes and had a 4'10 israeliteess suck my wiener and drink my cum on the daily back in sophomore year of college
>No make him about 9 or 10.
-George
It is more kino that way. It is normal for 10 year old boys to have crushes on high school girls.
guess i identify as a 10 year old boy then
hey kid, want to come over and play some roblox? i have hawaiian punch and goldfish
it worked for ahsoka, do not doubt george
Would have been way better. George is a moron
Hayden should have been Anakin in TPM
Cute
I dont know if it was George or the casting director but we were robbed of kino
Jake Lloyd enjoyed motorboating those khazar milkers
White genocide isn’t a thing
yeah huh
Duh.
shalom
what if it was star wars 3 anakin and leon portman? doesn't sound very sexy now does it?!
This is the most emotion Padme shows the entire movie. Why did Lucas make her a stoic robot?
Because she's a senator
Natalie Portman is a terrible actress
George Lucas is a terrible director
Padme doesn't even have a personality.
The original intend was that Anakin's fall was exactly as Obi-wan had told Luke: He got (slowly) seduced by the dark side and lust for power. Padme's love or his fear of losing her had nothing to do with his fall, let alone a single dream. Lucas changed it when he got criticized for making Anakin's reasons for embracing the dark side a bit too subtle and unspoken.
>intend
new nuwars failed because rey didn't get sexy outfits like slave leia or seductress padme
Rey had exposed pits tho
sounds lewd
>universe of sexo aliens
>anons want an above mid human girl
Based alien enjoyer.
Togruta and twilek were built for plapping
>Only those two xenos
>No Zeltrons, No Chiss, No Mirialans, No Dathomirian Night Sisters, No Sith Pureblods
There's more to The Galaxy then worm heads.
Why are George's Twi'leks so much sexier? Like, at least they are back, but imagine if were getting show after show of this and Togrutas.
Because George knew who his audience was, who he was targeting and what they wanted to see.
By the way, twi'leks have pink nipples. George confirmed it.
>Vader was SEDUCED by the dark side of the force
Pretty sure it was just flat out stated, not really an expert on these movies though.
There's nothing wrong with a 10 year old dating a 14 year old.
when i was 10 i was playing pokemons
Am I evil for thinking all the handmaidens were hotter than Hershlag? (yes, even the pajeet ones)
You're pretty gay
>you're gay for thinking women are sexy
???
The makeup always made it look like she's biting her lip. Lewd.
Subtext.
>While Obi-wan was busy mourning Qui-Gon, Padme and her handmaidens were molesting Anakin every night until they left Naboo.
No wonder he was obsessed with her for 10 years.
Huh I didn't know they had another lookalike
>Neta-Lee Herslag is the hottest woman ever!
>George manages to find at least 3 other women that mog her
I will never be over powered and raped by 4 Portman looking clones
>tfw
We can't all be as lucky as Anakin,
George said having a high midichlorian count results in a far short refractory period.
When they were done with poor Ani he had to be put in a bacta tank.
>Obi-wan was busy mourning Qui-Gon
I read that as mounting. It's your fault, Cinemaphile.
older woman + shota is the best fetish, gay.
Source?
You forgot impregnation
i don't get some of those fetishes. how does that even work physically, a little boy and a cavernous roastie? that's not sex, that's throwing a pencil down the well.
it's fiction buddy, the kid in the post you replied to's image has cat ears also
i understand that, i'm asking what the fantasy even is. do you imagine that little boys have huge penises or that roasties have tiny veganas or that in this "universe" sex is not based on friction or what?
Why are you so obsessed about the size of child penis??
it's okay if a woman does it
>several handmaidens
>queen padme gave ani his baths
what did she mean by this?
He's a full-blown megapedo, obviously
too flat. where's the fertile womb?
>feet not bare
Men who commits mass murder were groomed by female authority figures as a kid, therefore women should not be in charge of anything, not even children.
12 year olds are adults according to the talmud.
>canon /ss/ in star wars
why do people hate george again?
binks
>grooming is okay if an attractive girl is doing it
Really?
yes
Yes
I miss my GF.
Uh yah
It's the women are wonderful effect.
Star Wars is awesome.
Padme loved teasing Anakin with her bare midriff,
Padme definitely invited her sister and mother into the bedroom to get a taste of her boy she's been grooming.
T0T TUMMY! TUMMY EROTIC UUUOOOOHHHH!!!!!
Need to cummy on that tummy
UOHHHHHHHHHH CUNNNY
and frick jannies
>let's normalize grooming, honey
>Instead of joining the Jedi, Anakin becomes the 14 year old Queen's 9 year old consort that she shares with her female servants.
Such a progressive ruler.
Anyway...Porthole.
You think Padme takes it up the ass? She might be too proper for that or maybe she'd get off on the dirtiness.
Padme exclusively has anal sex
Then how did she get pregnant
Anal is how you make twins, moron. 2nd hole 2nd baby.
She will dose here duty for the kingdom but very reluctantly
Covert kisses from sweaty Tatooine Padme
>Lucas had a crush on his older sister
>spends decades telling us
>by putting it in his movies
Why is Padme never mentioned in live action projects anymore? Not even a namedrop. Worse than a glup shitto at this point.
Was just Anakin being a Chad for Fricking a Woman more Older than him and Padme was not a Virgin Sorry Anakin
>Chris Columbus Indiana Jones script
I wonder why Lucas fans ignore these strange coincidences?
https://youtu.be/RvGzFIwUfhQ
>45 minutes of youtuber homosexuals talking
Summarize or have a nice day
What do you guys think would have happened if Obi-Wan hadn't snuck aboard her ship?
>I'm you queen now, you have to lick it
kinograin
>After finally being done with th Trade Federation nonsense, Queen Amidala can lay back and enjoy the feeling of shota tongue pleasuring her pussy.
Neta Lee Hershlag looks coked out of her mind here
>write Darth Vader as a precocious kid so you have to make the love interest a teenager
>teenager is the ruler of a planet (elected "Queen")
Holy shit it was bad. You can insert headcanon like "maybe she was so young because of a monarchy/democracy hybrid system" but the reality is George Lucas is as moronic as his fans.
more stupid shit has happened in britain
>it was stupid
Glad we agree.
yes, most movies are when you think about them
>it's not the only bad movie that exists
Weird cope.
bad ≠ stupid
Did they teach you that in Special Ed?
You don't know?
Did they kick you out of special ed?
>No you
moron confirmed.
I wish movies were still shot on film
It's supposed to seem unearthly.
A movie set a long time ago in a galaxy far far away was supposed to seem unearthly? Wow, what a take!
Don't forget Leia needing her mother to be a queen, but then Padme died before leia even meets her
Pretty sure her adoptive mother was a queen or some shit. But yeah, Lucas is a bad writer so he probably did it so she could be an actual princess. How would a hereditary title in a democracy even work, kek. Imagine having to call the children of politicians "prince/princess."
There are like a million explanations. Maybe in their culture young girls are associated with wisdom or something. Maybe it's tradition to have a young queen with older advisors. Maybe the elections are more about the noble family and less about the person running and she was the only one eligible, throughout history certain peoples have closely aligned themselves with royal families and cared about legitimacy more than anything.
>There are like a million explanations.
When you have to insert headcanon in order to make things make sense it's bad writing. The reality is George Lucas wanted to show us Darth Vader as a plucky kid (i.e. hack stock character) so he made a 14 year-old the elected ruler of an entire planet (during a major crisis no less, kek). The thing about the prequels is the more you pay attention the worse they are. In order to enjoy them you have to have a room temperature IQ.
This is autism. You have autism. It's internally consistent without a need for a deep explanation of the political system. You don't have to know the exact reason why. It's possible. It's plausible. That's all that matters.
yeah, but what was their tax policy?
>It's internally consistent without a need for a deep explanation of the political system.
Pointing out that something doesn't make sense at face value is hardly autism, anon. It's called not being a moron.
>Obi-Wan asks "how did you become queen" after she does something silly
>Natalie Portman stares into the camera and explains that she comes from a well regarded noble family
10/10 now that's what I call kino.
>democratically elected leader of an entire planet
>she can just walk around in the open and even the Jedi sent to protect don't know what she looks like
It makes so much sense when you think about it.
How often do you see pictures of people in Star Wars? Newspapers? Particularly on Naboo all we see are some shitty holograms. Who knows how much people know about their queen.
>headcanon to square the circle
The democratically elected leader of an entire planet could go unrecognized in plain sight. The people sent to protect her didn't even know what she looked like. It's another example of something you think about for 3 seconds and realize just why the movies are really dumb.
She clearly wore elaborate clothing and makeup to mask her identity. You have autism.
Haven't been following the debate and don't care but this sounds like projection. You are making up gay complicated theories about star wars and calling another person 'autistic'
>she was in disguise
She clearly wasn't. Holy shit you're moronic.
It is not about inserting headcanon, its about not losing your mind over minute details that don't matter and could easily be explained. George obviously doesn't want to waste time on insane nitpicks. The thing is that the film gave you a bad vibe, and people have found incredibly arbitrary things to explain their dislike because they have a room temperature IQ. Why is the sky blue on Tatooine? Who gives a shit. The great thing about the Prequels is the more you are acquainted with film, the more depth you find.
>The great thing about the Prequels is the more you are acquainted with film, the more depth you find.
kek
>It is not about inserting headcanon
That's what you did though. Something became silly when you thought about it for 5 seconds so you invented a bunch of excuses that have nothing to do with the movie in order to cope.
>losing your mind over minute details that don't matter
It isn't just minute details though. For example, the entire forbidden romance plot doesn't actually add conflict to the story and drive the plot. The audience is simply told it's forbidden directly but it doesn't generate any actual conflict. A prequelgay will sperg "ACKTULLY ANAKIN WAS CONFUSED AND...blah blah blah" (i.e. prequelgays tend to point out obvious plot beats while remaining completely filtered by how they fall apart in context) but if you think about it there were 0 barriers in their way and the plot drove the relationship. That's bad writing. There's also the whole trusting a secret army that appeared out of nowhere (convenient, kek) in the course of investigating a conspiracy or the fact Anakin goes along with a sith who started a war that has killed untold billions for the sake of his own power ("to me the Jedi are evil," thanks for spelling it out George) over the people he's been with for most of his life.
>George obviously doesn't want to waste time on insane nitpicks
From the guy who sticks in as much shit as he can for the sake of merchandizing? Wow, you're dumb.
>The thing is that the film gave you a bad vibe, and people have found incredibly arbitrary things to explain their dislike
It didn't give me any vibe, moron. And character arcs and convulted plot threads that conflict with one another aren't arbitrary.
>because they have a room temperature IQ
Can you do better than "no you?"
>The great thing about the Prequels is the more you are acquainted with film, the more depth you find
Nope, you just wrote the opposite of exactly what I wrote. No wonder you're cool with shitty writing and low levels of creativity.
The prequels are made for idiots.
The prequels are absolute shit for a lot of reasons, but this nitpick is not really one of them. The real problem with the prequels is the bone dry dialogue, wooden characters and the Jedi/Republic political stuff being so center stage that it ruined the OG trilogy idea that the Jedi as an entity and the whole religion having almost burned out as a relevant force in the universe long before the end of the republic, such that the vast majority people had never seen a Jedi and they had almost passed into myth.
It would have been so much better if they'd had focused on other characters like Obi-wan or other aspects of the falling republic and rising empire and left the major characters of the OG trilogy story to only appear in passing or be hinted at because the established backstories didn't need any more detail and didn't leave enough room for the plot because everyone knows where it is leading from the start so everything you're shown just feels like filler.
>this nitpick is not really one of them
It demonstrates George writing shit that's convenient for the plot but is stupid as soon as the audience notices it. Is it the most major thing? No, there are lots of other problem. Is it just one of multiple examples that can be brought up relating to how badly written the prequels are? Yes.
there's a million ways to handwave it. Alien culture / "privative" customs that the current government rigidly adhere to etc. Child rulers were totally common in many of our cultures based on noble blood, religious signs, sword in a stone whatever the frick you want. Sci-fi brings that all into the plausible zone and Naboo being this unearthly beautiful and advanced culture with all these elaborate customs and costumes makes perfect sense. The problem arises when George mashes it up with a dry, grinding political conflict and brings the battle right to Naboo: it didn't have the nice contrast he was going for but rather just muddied both aspects of the story which is why TPM feels like a mess. Compare it to The Last Samurai: where the enclave of rogue Samurai and their village is presented distinctly as this beautiful, regimented, self-contained culture of bushido and its stark contrast to the dirty political posturing of the palace intrigue and the western influences on the society as a whole. This feels like the sort of contrast George is trying to show
>there's a million ways to handwave it.
Stopped reading there because that's true of anything. Democratically electing a 14 year-old as the ruler of an entire planet, who then proceeds to walk around unnoticed in plain sight, is moronic at face value. It's an example of bad writing.
>is moronic at face value
doesn't have to be. her function might be largely ceremonial, she might have been elected mostly to "symbolize" certain virtues with the understanding that the practicalities will be dealt with by her ministers etc etc. you can buy two-headed aliens but not that an alien planet might have goofy customs?
>her function might be largely ceremonial
It wasn't portrayed as ceremonial and there are specific examples in the first and second movie contrary to that.
in china, child emperors were housed with entire troupes of Eunichs who advised the royal house and often would use this close control of the emperor to seize political power.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Attendants
Regents. They also weren't "elected."
>Holy shit it was bad.
egypt was run by a child more than once.
some of the greatest thing humans have ever build was built under them, for them.
millions of people bowing to their rule.
its not really that outlandish
if thats the law thats the law
>person becomes ruler
>ruler dies
>title and role goes to next of kin regardless of age
pretty simple and actually historically accurate shit.
They had regents to rule until they came of age and you point out hereditary rule in your post (she was elected into a position of authority).
There have been elective monarchies
Maybe Naboo is a matrilineal elective monarchy
The Handmaidens all lost at nude wrestling
Portman was made queen because she made Keira climax first
Or maybe George needed her to be young for the sake of the plot and knew his fans would be too dumb to notice.
An 8 year age difference is nothing when it comes to /as/
The prequel trilogy is pure unironic kino at every level. I miss George so fricking much bros.
>unironic
It's funny that prequelgays have to stipulate that when they praise the movies.
Loved TPM as a kid, hated the gay romance shit in AotC as a 12 year old but liked detective obi wan and Geonosis and RotS was the best movie I'd seen in my life at the time. The PT was a rollercoaster
Check
they should give lucas star wars back so he can make the real sequels.
He said his sequels would focus a lot on Leia, and Carrie Fisher is now gone.
George was a weirdo who inserted his weirdo fetishes into his work
>hey kid wanna /ss/
>bikini slave bondage
>choking a b***h
as apposed to current directors where all they put in is their cuck or blacked fetish? george was based
there was a young woman working at my local dvd store
herself and Natalie Portman could be twins
Calm down Rupinder.
cute nippa
Those breasts are sunburned
ANAKIN LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!
>looked like that with twins in the movie
>was way bigger with one child irl
To be fair if they had given Natalie a prosthetic belly that was accurately sized, she wouldn't able been able to wear any dresses to hide it.
Leia Mog her Mother Padme
Great tummy, never liked her face though.
The best thing about the Prequels is that they're just fricking awful.
>A long time ago in a galaxy far far away
>Ok, but how long ago and how far away?
>a long time ago but somehow in the future
Wasn't she like 100 years old when they met or some shit? I thought Naboo ages were fricky because Palpatine is from Naboo but no one from there recognizes him even though he's a senator.
He is a product of an older generation, where mothers told their sons that they should take an older wife, so they'd have someone to take care of them.
I hate Natalie Portman so much it's unreal.
Did the whole pretentious prequelgay thing really start because people were ironically saying how great they were and morons thought they were serious?
Probably.
The costume design on this movie was fricking atrocious
George was pretty moronic for making temple jedi dress the exact same way as Tatooine moisture farmers
The Jedi order was founded by Tatooine moisture farmers
Also means that Obi-Wan, in hiding on Tatooine, was actually openly wearing official Jedi clothing.
damn look at that boys haircut. the nineties were moronic.
It means he knows /ss/ is best
Think Anakin fricked her face til her makeup was a smeared mess?
um akshually us in the fetish circle like to call it running not smeared
>Rabe's face when she has to fix the Queen's makeup for 4 time today because her shota boyfriend just gave her another facial.
rey > leia > padme
any good porn fics involving little anakin and padme? i'd rather not wade through the literal thousands of shitty kylo ren and rey fanfics.
Define "good"
There's not much to go on at age 9
no scat or foot shit or any of the author's blatant fetishes, no crossovers (seriously frick mha,highschool dxd and rwby they pollute like 90% of the porn fics). just straight up ss
Literally just filter anakin/ padme on ao3, idiot.
I'm actually surprised there's so many.
And I'm even more surprised there are marginally more of them than anakin/ obi-wan ones. Fujos be sleeping.
>Literally just filter anakin/ padme on ao3, idiot.
the filter doesn't do jack shit at the best of times. fricking christ kylo ren still somehow managed to sneak his way in even with the fricking flters. that's why I was asking for recommendations. I'd rather not wade through rivers of shit.
Just keep filtering, dumbass.
I'll have to disappoint you, but after doing your work for you, only this sorry excuse of a fic came up lol
https://archiveofourown.org/works/44688937
Maybe this one has some /ss/ too, idk.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/36803872/
>be former slave kid
>suddenly gets hots for princess
>try rizzing her up for most of your life.
>you two finally get together, but only after your mom gets murdered.
>she gets knocked up cause you forgot the wrapper
Welp I guess I gotta go murder some children now.
Fun fact: all the kids Vader massacred were Anakin's bastards, because he was literally getting molested on the reg by the female Jedis.
Padme is for...
shotas
Aggressive negotiations
Jedi should have worn something that had some kind of armor component to it. They are "knights" after all.
Hang on, is Star Wars some sort of SS franchise?
What gave you that idea?
christ
I have no idea.
While https://e-hentai.org/g/1880015/9a8f25631b/ is S-Tier, Luke is in his early 20s in this and therefor does not count as SS.
Like Father, like son
h-hot!
Imagine the things Hera, Sabine and Ahsoka have been doing to this boy. Without a man in the picture he's their plaything to share.
he was 9 here right? about the same age I started wanking, he could have
Why has no one called this grooming?
Because it's not grooming when it based
Or when a israelite does it. Though even the harshest of white nationalist are willing to let Nat into their beds.
test
Let's be real though. Sabe/Padme's double AKA Keira Knightley is the superior of the duo. She is superior in looks, a superior actress, had the superior career both box office wise and acclaim wise and has a better filmography. She probably would have been cast for the lead role if she was only a little older and was better known. We all know it.
but is there a whole pedobait movie where she's 12 and running around in skimpy outfits literally begging to be deflowered? no? then she is not superior to hershlag
She literally showed her breasts on screen at 16. Nat can't bear that. Also, i don't understand how that's allowed, but hollywood right?
>She literally showed her breasts on screen at 16.
and nobody cared. i guarantee that more seed was spilled to fully clothed hershlag in leon than to keira's titflash, by a factor of 10000.
Pretend she is 12 and begging to be deflowered. Is she superior now?
nope, she still has that weird jaw.
It's called being white, Achmed
sure it does. look at this perfect specimen right here. what a hottie
P V R E
I N B R E D
A R Y AN
G E N E S
Isn't she supposed to be like 14? The clown makeup makes her look much older, I mean it's still weird but it's not that big an age gap, about 5 years, deffo strange when he's like 9 but much less so when he's 20.
I still think making Anakin so young was a really stupid choice, I once read George did it simply because he couldn't imagine an older boy caring so much about his mother, but isn't he a fricking israelite? Aren't israelites supposed to be obsessed with their mothers to an incestuous degree?
That's what a female pedo smile looks like.
He supports women pedos