what if Dobby didn't stop him lol
>Yes my Lord, a sock, can you believe it? I just lost it. Dumbledore was pretty mad but thankfully I dodged Azkaban.
what if Dobby didn't stop him lol. >Yes my Lord, a sock, can you believe it? I just lost it.
what if Dobby didn't stop him lol
>Yes my Lord, a sock, can you believe it? I just lost it. Dumbledore was pretty mad but thankfully I dodged Azkaban.
Was he seriously fixing to murder a child in front of Dumbledore?
>fixing to
Black person
finna bouta
it's dixie slang, morons. blacks living rent free in your head once again fr fr ong no cizzap mane
Black person
Dumbledore was not in the room.
>homosexual not constantly stalking his favorite 12 year old boy
Yeah right.
Yes, he was one room over. They went outside his office. So he wouldn't have seen it. But he'd have ran out and seen Harry's corpse. And you can't just teleport in/out of Hogwarts, so there would've been a comical Benny Hill shenanigans scene where Dumbledore chased Malfoy around.
MALFOY DID YOU USE AN UNFORGIVABLE CURSE ON HARRY POTTER
he asked calmly
While Lucius stretched his legs down the corridor
>be me, Dumbledore
>finally sitting down after spending the past five hours dealing with the c**t that lived, the Malfoy homosexual and a fricked up looking Brummie about some shit with a “chamber of secrets” that contained a unconscious first year girl and a “basilisk”
>hours of b***hing and innuendo finally over
>hear a faint “avada kedva” and see a flash of green from outside
>oh shit, oh shit, oh shit
>rush outside to see that moron Lucis standing over Potter’s prone body and the Brummie in hysterics about a sock
>look up at Lucis’s face as he realises what this ape out means
>mfw
What was Malfoy’s plan after killing Harry?
>What was Malfoy’s plan after killing Harry?
Framing Dobby for it.
>>look up at Lucis’s face as he realises what this ape out means
Crashing this hippogriff
WITH NO BOYS WHO LIVE
>DUMBLEDORE!!!
>LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE
>THE MINISTRY AND THE PTA WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS
>proceeds to run out tue door like a scooby doo skit
As corrupt and inept as the Ministry was it would honestly have a 50/50 shot of working
>Lucius kills horcrux inside Harry
>Harry wakes up like nothing
>Story continues
>Lucius pisses his pants after seen Harry standing up after Death Spell like nothing
Lol that would've been great.
And Lucius wouldn't tell anybody out of fear.
>Harry actually gets avada kedavra'd by volde in the forest
>book ends
Means every other character was asking "where is Dumbledore"
It was right outside his office though, and he wouldnt be able to teleport away because of magical reasons.
Wizards are morons but even they coulda caught papa Malfoy after he pulls that shit.
That always bothered me. In the books he wasn't stupid enough to do that.
whats the problem?
issacs turned malfoy sr into a cartoon villain and thats a good thing
killing curse wasn't even invented in the 2nd book so no
>harry recalls multiple times a bright flash of green light
it's not even possible to cast one of the unforgivable curses on hogwards grounds due to some autism charm. in the 4th book moody has to ask for it to be lifted for an afternoon so he can torture spiders in front of the kids
What about that time harry cast septumsectrum or whatever on malfoy and made him bleed out all over the bathroom
nobody knew about the curse except for the inventor snape and harry, only the unforgivable curses are illegal but you can still use dark arts magic in the school
Making someone bleed out in agony isn’t an unforgivable curse?
amazingly, no.
Interesting
The abracadabra shit ultimately rips the victim's soul to bits, so they won't be fricking around as ghost like the guy who greets with is head and the whiny bathroom b***h. Quite more unforgivable than letting someone drown in a pool of their own blood
Being a ghost is undesirable in the hp world
You are tied down in this world as a pale imitation while never being able to move on the next
Killing mutilated your own soul and can frick your chances up in the afterlife
All wizards have to do is utter some words and flick their wrist and they can giga kill anyone at any time? Is Harry Potter pro gun?
idk if i wanna be crying in the bathroom or leaving my head flopping around for all eternity tho
You're clearly thick like a rock, so I'll explain it again:
NOBODY KNEW ABOUT IT. You can't classify something as an "unforgivable curse" if you don't know it exists. It's as if somebody invented a new kind of drug in their basement, and you come out asking "why isn't this drug illegal, aren't drugs bad?"
Snape knew about it. Why wouldnt he just tell them about the more obscure curses
because he invented it and would then likely be sacked/jailed
how do you invent a spell anyway, did they ever go into that?
>point wand at own head
>start saying latin words
>hope for the best and record what happens
Turning Bellatrix into an ice figure and blasting her into a million tiny bits isn't unforgivable as well.
Murder maybe, manslaughter in self defense definitely, if the wizard justice system works like that, but unforgivable, definitely not.
Its downright odd how pro self defense the British wizard community is compared to the muggle british community
>be wizard and another wizard picks a fight with you
>can physically send them to the shadow realm
>be muggle and you stop a guy from raping your daughter after he murdered your wife, burnt down your house, and kicked your dog
>10 to 15 years hard time, was hurting the guy really neccessary, the police were on the way?
Rowling was hilariously based and she did it entirely by accident.
Wands are basically guns. The corrupt big daddy government, the hidebound aristocracy and the single media outlet that acts as a propaganda mouthpiece for said government/aristocracy are all secondary bad guys. Government interference is seen as a bad thing constantly. And when they try to disarm the children through neutering their defence lessons in book 5 the kids stage a fricking revolution.
It is incredibly funny in hindsight.
Personally thought it was funny how the Fantastic Beasts series essentially made the 1 wizard trying to stop WW1 and WW2 from happening as the villain.
>now let's make him cartoonishly evil but still serious
>WB arent even sure what they're trying to imply anymore as every character in the FB movies steadily disappear up their own asses
And all anyone wanted was some wizarding world Steve Irwin has misadventures with magical animals movies
I love how the stort is about a terrorist cell trying to take over the government, and they succeed. And at the very end one of the key terrorists and his terrorist family gets away completely scot-free after being a traitor to both factions in the conflict.
Sectumsempra is not an unforgivable curse.
I think that was just him asking ministry permission so he could imperio test it on the kids and not go to prison. Other times its easily used on school grounds since Snape kills Dumbeldore with it, Harry tries to fling it at some death eaters in revenge, and theres an entire battle in which everyone's throwing unforgivables around
>Snape kills Dumbeldore
SPOILERS YOU DICK
Don't worry he comes back.
>it's not even possible to cast one of the unforgivable curses on hogwards grounds
Moody casts Crucio multiple times when he's showing it off in front in Neville
you gonna apologize for firing off your moronic post before finishing reading mine?
I don't know how I missed that, my bad
>it's not even possible to cast one of the unforgivable curses on hogwards grounds
Dumbledore gets offed by the Killing Curse in Hogwarts.
>it's not even possible to cast one of the unforgivable curses on hogwards grounds due to some autism charm. in the 4th book moody has to ask for it to be lifted for an afternoon so he can torture spiders in front of the kids
no such thing, friend, you're confusing this with the Anti-Apparition charm (which is lifted in book 6 a number of times for the kids to practice Apparition in the Great Hall in preparation for their exam)
>in the 4th book moody has to ask for it to be lifted for an afternoon so he can torture spiders in front of the kids
that's shady as frick, how did Dumbledoor not figure him out at that point? or was true Moody that mad too?
The charges officer?
He was about to kill Dobby though
Are unforgiveable curses unforgiveable for non humans?
Yea he was lowkey finna fixing to murder him y'all
>death spell
>sounds like ava cadaver
bravo
you dont understand the kind of shit rich bongs can get away with even in current year
If he Harry had died he would have just shifted the blame on Dobby and got away with it.
I wish Malfoy had killed Harry and ended the whole series right there. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King
>not posting the image with the pasta
When it comes down to it, it was mainly an excellent sandbox for autists to make fan-fics in.
Quite a few of those fics are superior to the source material.
Like this?
?si=rnt7QuJ0x-oTYmQv
>Quite a few of those fics are superior to the source material.
any recs?
https://pastebin.com/wwtmhSKY
Its an old list, but it checks out.
There was one I remember where Harry lost the war after Voldy discovered the ruins of Atlantis, , so he made a deal to time loop back to the start of his fifth year to beat him to it, but he kept failing so he kept time looping until all the consequences of said constant time looping catch up with him and he's only got one shot left.
I enjoyed it because it split so drastically from the books (Harry basically ghosts the plot and goes globetrotting like he's Indiana Jones) and it doesn't fall into that usual fluff, no risk/no danger bullshit so many fanfics seem to fall into. Its plot all the way, and it kicks Harry's ass all the way to the end.
Wastelands of Time I think it was called.
Some guy joined my left 4 dead game and started playing a fic of Umbridge fricking Harry while torturing him with that ink quill or blood spell whatever. Was kinda hot
this. which is funny because the world is like 90% existing mythology cobbled together, it just gave everyone a basic enough understanding and mutual frame of reference to be able to play with it all together.
the books being any better would have been to their great detriment, the unarticulatable dissatisfaction they left young readers with was essential for sparking their imaginations.
>doesn't even post deh image
DIE MONSTER, YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS THREAD!
>didn't bother to work in the phrase 'dullest franchise'
Gay
They let the actor adlib it, my guess is the director didn't read ahead
If house elves are stronger than adult wizards and don't even need a wand to cast spells why are they slaves in the first place?
wizard trickery
uncle toms
They're very stupid
>why didn't a slave plantation in the Antebellum South just rise up and kill massa
Downright peculiar
Like how the israelites have a plan for eliminating whites but the white races still worships and sucks up to them
They're servile basically
slavery is a mindset.
The goblins tricked them.
isn't there some sort of ancient binding magic to the race as a whole that makes them enjoy being servants?
Dobby didn't enjoy being a servant though. Creecher neither.
i love how much time JKR devotes to proving that house elves love being slaves only for all 3 named house elf characters (winky being the third) to be horribly abused and miserable.
Creecher loved being a servant though, he only hated Sirius because he was the black sheep of the family.
i mean, that's the thing about being a slave, you don't pick your master. sounds like krecher wanted something called a job, where he could choose his employer.
House elves are enslaved to a family, not a specific person. And Creecher's devotion to the Black family was in conflict with Sirius' hatred of said family and desire to tear it down.
Very very bad female brain worldbuilding.
Strictly speaking they aren't slaves. They love the job and presumably volunteer for it.
Hermione goes through a whole phase trying to stand up for their rights and all the elves keep telling her shes a moron and they love it.
>Hermione goes through a whole phase trying to stand up for their rights and all the elves keep telling her shes a moron and they love it.
Because Rowling was pissed that people were pointing out that in her world slavery is normal and accepted, so she just... implied that slaves LOVE being slaves...
Oh she's British all right
unironically, Black folk were better off as slaves in the west
But they pretty sure weren't happy about it.
They're never happy
I mean, they're slaves.
>I mean, they're African.
ftfy
lemme give you a hint
house elf
now replace elf with Black person
He wouldn't have killed Harry. Harry was one of Voldemort's horcruxes so Draco Sr. (Not calling him malfoy) would have hurt Voldemort. Harry would still be alive. Voldemort would have killed Draco Sr.
>Dobby
KOMM HER UND LASS DICH FICKEN!
FLINTS MEGA NEGER STORE
did lucius know about the whole horcrux thing? because if he'd killed harry, he'd have killed like 1/7th of his leader, not a great look
He couldn't kill Harry no matter what.
why not?
did he know that though?
>did lucius know about the whole horcrux thing
regulus and snape were the only death eaters who were even remotely aware of it
because vodemort having heard half of the prophecy had marked harry as his equal or whatever and his ego was also bruised when the killing curse backfired on him
don't remember much about spell making from the books except for the part where luna tells harry that her mother died while experimenting
>because vodemort having heard half of the prophecy had marked harry as his equal or whatever and his ego was also bruised when the killing curse backfired on him
yeah but like is harry just invincible as a result of that? i thought that was more a one time thing
(which, sidenote, always bugged me because like... parents die for their children all the damn time. this should have very much been a known issue).
>did lucius know about the whole horcrux thing?
I didnt think even Voldemort knew Harry was a horcrux at that point
avada cicada only temporarily inconveniences you
>"Gave you a sock? What do you mean I gave you a sock? First of all, I didn't give you anything, I handed you a book to hold, and it happened to have a sock in it, which wasn't even mine, but Potter's, and as far as I know, he isn't your owner. I am. How do you even thing this works? Do you think you are free every time I tell you to do my laundry? Do your tiny elf brain thinks that you earned your freedom every time you find a sock in the house, thinking that it is a gift from me somehow? Who taught you this trickery, Gringotts? Just wait till we get home, I'll cane your hide till you won't be able to walk straight until third movie."
jesus Columbus, bit dark for a children's movie
>Do you think you are free every time I tell you to do my laundry?
that's a good point. especially later on when kreacher is able to interpret "get lost" to mean "leave the house, join our enemies, and work with them to get us all killed" or whatever went on there.
If Dobby’s doing a load of wash or picking up random articles of clothing laying around Malfoy Manor he’s hardly being “presented” with them, is he
>Has master presented Dobby with this basket of dirty clothes? Dobby is free!
Lucius doesn’t seem like the kind to burden himself with domestic chores. I doubt he or any of the Malfoys have ever physically touched a basket of dirty laundry, even to just hand it to a servant.
the sock wasn't presented either, the book was, and even that is questionable
I don't know the exact magic that binds the house elves, but if this worked, then Dobby would find a way to trick himself out of Malfoys' servitude long time ago
>then Dobby would find a way to trick himself out
considering he compulsively beat himself up for the smallest arguable infractions, i don't think he had the emotional capacity to perform any conscious trickery here
>does master want to hand Dobby that spellbook lying inconspicuously on the library end table? the one that clearly shouldn’t have been left there? Dobby can put it back on the shelf for master… if master would but hand him the book… a regular book that certainly doesn’t have a glove shoved into it…
>Dobby quit fricking around and go cook something, all this plotting to kill an eight year old has roused my appetite
Dobby’s too dumb and Malfoy’s too preoccupied with child murder for a scheme like this to work
An image of Narcissa's underwear just popped in your head too, didn't it?
Дa бpaт и aз гo глeдaх пo бтв
The whole thing about house elves wearing sacks or tea towels or something to cover their bits was always weird to me, because how is that not clothes? Where does the threshold of "fabric" end and "clothing" begin?
Why didn't she just write house elves to be the sort of creature that could get by being naked, like an animal?
its a pretty moronic rule yeah but elves were never given fabric to wear by the wizards themselves, they just picked up rags and wore them i guess
>Yes ministers, I have identified the culprit who killed Pottah and the elf. I recommend life in Azkaban.
>mfw
Black could be anywhere
>It's him, minister. He's the attempted murderer of the despicable mudblood children. Evidence? We have the testimony of a 16 year old boy who lived 50 years ago from House Slytherin that he saw Hagrid, a Hogwarts student, opening the Chamber of Secrets. Now that is related to recent events because he killed his own chickens and wrote in blood that the Chamber of Secrets have been opened. I suggest life imprisonment in Azkaban enforced immediately.
Hermione would save Harry with her DeLorean.