>There is only one god >No, not you Thor >No,, also not your father Odin, no, I mean, well.... also not your brother or anyone from that pantheon >No, also no I don't mean Zeus >Nnnno Dr Srange, that guy that lives outside time and space you fought is also not the One God >NO I ALSO DON'T MEAN THE 4 GUYS THAT CREATED THE INFINITY STONES THAT LITERALLY CAN SHAPE THE UNIVERSE, NO THOSE WEREN'T GODS I MEAN ONE GOD
>despite all of those so called gods around him and their unbelievable powers, Cap still chooses to believe there's one true God
Yeah I'm thinking he's based
Are you saying a Roman torture device used to kill your god has magical abilities, implying that a more powerful pagan Roman entity is more powerful that Jesus?
Dude was a carpenter back when that meant carrying most of the wood yourself. It's no wonder he was cool with carrying that giant cross on his back all through town. Modern crossfit homosexuals could never
no shade to Xtians, but Sparticus took that crucifixion on the chin way better than jeebs did. Then again, the whole idea of jeebs eating it in less than a day (frick, in the gospels it seems he spends all of maybe twenty minutes on the cross before he farts up the ghost) was the idea he was paying for all of mankind's sins in the GARDEN OF GETHSEMANE and NOT on the fricking CROSS, but whatever. You frick heads never read your own stupid book, anyway.
He ultimately paid for the sins when he died and went to Hell for three days. Also, do you expect to have twenty pages about what Jesus was doing on the cross? He was up there for a long time even after getting speared. You’re such a colossal homosexual, I bet you remind people every Christmas and Easter that it’s a pagan holiday so you can look smarter than the Walmart stockboy you are.
>Gets saved from cave by Iron Man after being crucified/resurrected >Gets offered water once in Stark Tower >”Yeah, let me just make a little adjustment to that.” >Turns it into wine >Audience collectively puts their asses in the air and spray liquid shit directly above themselves and tubgirl it into their mouth, creating a shit loop that never stops.
Why didn't israelitesus ever say anything about circumcision? You'd think his father Yahweh would've instructed him to warn everyone you will go to Hell if you dont cut the tip of your penis off at birth...
Just weird.
Watiki wanted to introduce him in Love and Thunder, as a joke. Thankfully, he was stopped. However, the joke still made it halfway in, when they go to omnipotence city (where they meet russel crowe zeus)Valkyrie remarks >hey, that's the god of carpentry
but they never show him.
He would become an atheist, somehow.
heh
remember when Captain America said "there is only one God"
>There is only one God ma'am, and he doesn't dress like a homosexual
How did they get away with it?
>There is only one god
>No, not you Thor
>No,, also not your father Odin, no, I mean, well.... also not your brother or anyone from that pantheon
>No, also no I don't mean Zeus
>Nnnno Dr Srange, that guy that lives outside time and space you fought is also not the One God
>NO I ALSO DON'T MEAN THE 4 GUYS THAT CREATED THE INFINITY STONES THAT LITERALLY CAN SHAPE THE UNIVERSE, NO THOSE WEREN'T GODS I MEAN ONE GOD
Kek why are americans like this? Odd little, brown creatures.
Exactly. All those jobbers are nothing in comparison
Let's see how my crossbow compares to your simple hammer, dumbass uneducated cave man
>raises shield
Ha!
*THWACK*
*THWACK*
*THWACK*
Good point. Its almost like the gods don't matter at all and mankind is solely responsible for all good and evil...
>it's almost like
>I can't think of a clever response so I'll just call you a redditor
You have won the Internets for today, kind stranger!
and how many times did Jesus cross dress? checkmate.
>31yr old
>No wife
must have been a sodomite
He married Mary Magdalene you idiot.
What God is that supposed to be? I know it's not Thor because the handle is too long and he's not wearing gloves.
your god is owned by disney
If he's not a redhead then he's not Thor.
Anon, there is literally a One Above All in Marvel.
>despite all of those so called gods around him and their unbelievable powers, Cap still chooses to believe there's one true God
Yeah I'm thinking he's based
Achievable natty?
>Not you, guys back there.
>Not you, henchman holding wrench.
>Not you, henchman arbitrarily turning knobs, making it seem like you're doing something.
Because gods with a small g are just like celestial entities that inhabit the universe in marvel it’s not a contradiction for cap to be a Christian
I mean the existence of millions of different alien species kinds throws a wrench in christian cosmology
Uh does it? I mean I honestly don’t know does the Bible say something that means there can’t be other life forms in the universe?
>God makes man in his likeness
>God makes a million other aliens just for kicks
No different than god making man in his image and making a million different insects just for kicks
>Be me
>Be god
>Make untold billions of species capable of awe, wonder and goodness
>Only one race of upright apes gets salvation, the rest burn
This is only a problem if you believe in the Christian idea of a Loving God™ instead of going by all the evidence to the contrary.
"Cool it with the antisemitic remarks"
Are you saying a Roman torture device used to kill your god has magical abilities, implying that a more powerful pagan Roman entity is more powerful that Jesus?
it represents something you moronic fedora homosexual
deities aren't real.
No
i dont think that was ever stated or even remotely implied, no
positively euphoric post
yes
Jesus made that cross and cast a spell on it that says that only the future carpenter of England can draw it from the stony ground.
I would stop watching Marvel movies.
Juden
Stale post
Jesus solos the MCU
Makes me irrationally angry, thanks, anon.
Good angers evil. It's understandable.
Don't try and dig this hole any deeper, Charles, take your small victory. God hates gloaters.
Is anyone going to tell him what the creator’s original idea for Kratos’ ending was
Go ahead and don't tell me.
All I’ll say is that Kratos becomes a very wise man with two other wise men.
Didn't know Jesus was this jacked. He didn't skip a single leg day.
Dude was a carpenter back when that meant carrying most of the wood yourself. It's no wonder he was cool with carrying that giant cross on his back all through town. Modern crossfit homosexuals could never
...Is nobody going to mention the cheeked up naked guy edited in?
This is the original.
You can literally see parts of iron man behind him
No I can’t.
YOU CAN STOP LYING THERES IRONMAN BEHIND THE CHEEKED UP NAKED SAIYAN
Lurk moar
no shade to Xtians, but Sparticus took that crucifixion on the chin way better than jeebs did. Then again, the whole idea of jeebs eating it in less than a day (frick, in the gospels it seems he spends all of maybe twenty minutes on the cross before he farts up the ghost) was the idea he was paying for all of mankind's sins in the GARDEN OF GETHSEMANE and NOT on the fricking CROSS, but whatever. You frick heads never read your own stupid book, anyway.
this moron cant even read
Reafing is gay and gay is sin. Checkmate sodomite.
who said anything about reafing :^)
>Reefer mad heathen when nobody has mentioned the devils lettuce for 5 minutes
damn Lewis Black hasn’t lost his edge since 2004
Wow, spoilers much?
He ultimately paid for the sins when he died and went to Hell for three days. Also, do you expect to have twenty pages about what Jesus was doing on the cross? He was up there for a long time even after getting speared. You’re such a colossal homosexual, I bet you remind people every Christmas and Easter that it’s a pagan holiday so you can look smarter than the Walmart stockboy you are.
>Gets saved from cave by Iron Man after being crucified/resurrected
>Gets offered water once in Stark Tower
>”Yeah, let me just make a little adjustment to that.”
>Turns it into wine
>Audience collectively puts their asses in the air and spray liquid shit directly above themselves and tubgirl it into their mouth, creating a shit loop that never stops.
Audiences never did that
he solos
>Here's your messiah bro
damn, what a chad
More like
>Here's your messiah bro
He literally is
Test
What does the cross scale to?
Why didn't israelitesus ever say anything about circumcision? You'd think his father Yahweh would've instructed him to warn everyone you will go to Hell if you dont cut the tip of your penis off at birth...
Just weird.
Watiki wanted to introduce him in Love and Thunder, as a joke. Thankfully, he was stopped. However, the joke still made it halfway in, when they go to omnipotence city (where they meet russel crowe zeus)Valkyrie remarks
>hey, that's the god of carpentry
but they never show him.
>israelite wants to make a mockery of Jesus
Of course
Why would israelitechads be upset at g*ys for worshipping Rabbi Yeshua?
>Broly
My sides
He'd get a team-up with Blade.
I chuckled
>PUT DISPENSATION HEEEERE
Broly kino
>that bane image
Probably one of the funniest images on the internet