What kino would you show them and what movie snack would you provide?
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What kino would you show them and what movie snack would you provide?
What kino would you show them and what movie snack would you provide?
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onions
i like the cut of your gib
for me it's a winamp soundwave visualizer of trivium music videos
Euphoria
Estrogen
A movie with dinosaurs or aliens or something to really terrify them. The snack would be something sweet laced with way too much acid.
Return the next day by boat with a cleaning crew and start to develop the land.
Me? I'd serve crab legs
Sorry, you're a little too late, hun.
What about your legs?
>"Excuse me, *reaches over to lift her nametag, expertly brushing her titty with my grease fingers* Knoflox, is it? How about we go check in the back for them crablegs, together?"
uhhh, it says "Kinoflex". It's the name of the cinema
Her name is Knoflox and I'm gunna finger bang this nubian queen in the popcorn mines and Robert is going to watch.
IT'S CLEARLY AN ALTERNATE GENDERBENT REALITY WHERE KINOPLEX IS CALLED KINOFLEX AND HER NAME IS ROBERTA
She's lathering up those dark brown nips with the butter now, she wants me to frick her with one the concession stand corn dogs while I scream her name FRICKING KNOFLOX
Knoflox is her name dumb frick
>KINOFLEX
Why the frick would a theater have the word "flex" in it? It's a theater, not a gym.
The theater's gimmick is that instead of buying a ticket for a single movie you get a flex ticket that lets you move to any theater for the original's runtime.
They're right on back of you, lying hitch!
>right on back of you
6 hour ocarina of time lore video and Combos
>not the 8 hour iceberg video about why Patches is canonically circumcised.
I'd feed them wine and the eucharist and show them Passion of the Christ so they can repent and come to know their Lord.
>t. rabbi yeshua cultist
Saw movies and beer
Unironically? I'd show then Lord of the Rings.
Then we'd just chill on the beach, I'd listen what they thought of it and we'd plonk arrows at christcuck missionaries.
>Lord of the rings
>calls others "christcucks"
Dumbass
I don't see any israelites on stick in Lotr
well Catholics are just paganism-lite so I guess it’s realistic
I think they’re referencing that John Chau missionary homosexual who tried to preach to the North Sentinelese by bribing some fisherman to take him to this island illegally and was shot dead by some bow wielding negrito when he got there.
he's a frogposter, contrarianism and poor taste are his entire "character"
>and we'd plonk arrows at christcuck missionaries.
Based
at least go for superior book series
>moral grayness
>complex characters
>by the end of book 1 there are clearly bad and clearly good characters that are obvious to a blind man
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Is Stannis good or bad
Absolutely good. He's just crass and autistic and has trouble showing his true feelings.
good
>Is Stannis good or bad
Literally the best. Is that a trick question?
If we're being realistic, they'd kill you before you ever finishes the first movie. And ironic you hate Christians yet you'd show them a movie filled with Christian allegory.
I'd show them lord of the flies so they can nitpick and complain about the inaccuracies of island life. Then I'd upload it on youtube
Both good suggestions
Same and checked, i'd also give them hot wings
King Kong and ice cream
2001: Space Odyssey
Funyuns and boom boom
What would you do if they fall asleep out of boredom?
Der Ewige Jude and whiskey.
Tokyo Drift.
Chick-Fil-A.
fellowship of the ring. Werthers original
Werthers original
homie do you wanna frickin die?
>And after I’m sure any visitors to the island would be killed with a stone bashing on sight
That happens anyway.
Ice Age: Continental Drift and Junior Mints.
I would show them Pink Flamingos and Human Centipede and explain beforehand everything is an entirely true depiction of the modern world. And after I’m sure any visitors to the island would be killed with a stone bashing on sight
The Human Centipede
They'll figure out their own snacks.
The Lord of the Rings and Sour Patch Kids.
I wouldn't show them anything, I would listen what they have to say
and that's what no-one did
I wish this didn't make me laugh every time
me too, but i am still going to laugh
The Gods Must be Crazy
OP
Fight club so they’d learn to stand up to the man. Raisinets to piss them off.
I would show them Clerks 3
Crank,tic-tacs
Buck Breaking
The 1 Chip Challenge
Jurassic Park
Fried asiatic Mormon
You would think something loke Apocalypto or perhaps Avatar would appeal to them. But based on my experience of moronic tribesmen, if you actually want them to pay attention it would be anything with a white female lead.
Nothing, I'd leave them the frick alone.
I wouldn't
I'd make voodoo dolls of them to remove their protection spell from the island and make it vulnerable to natural disasters like cyclones and tsunamis
that's what no one did
Because they're all too dumb to think of it
They got absolutely heemed by the 2004 tsunami. Killed most of them and their numbers have been dwindling since.
Clearly it wasn't strong enough if world governments are waiting for the rest of them to die
>What kino would you show them
the greatest of all
>and what movie snack would you provide?
ashes and the bones of their dead
The Patriot with hamburgers and fries.
We need their DNA.
For what, created turbo Black folk?
>inbred morons
🙁
>inbred morons, some island in India
😀
>inbred moron on a tibetan e-girlcon forum
:-Q
don't talk about yourself in that way, anon.
The Grifter
The gods must be crazy.
Coke and a burger
Bone Tomahawk
Pulled Pork
>don't talk about yourself that way anon
>nooooo that BASTARD didn't get MAD and SCREAM at me DESPITE my GENIUS insult! INSTEAD he said SOMETHING I was NOT prepared for! time to bring out the WOJAKS i have on my desktop AT ALL TIMES!
that BASTARD didn't get MAD and SCREAM at me DESPITE my GENIUS insult! INSTEAD he said SOMETHING I was NOT prepared for! time to bring out the WOJAKS i have on my desktop AT ALL TIMES!
you should do something about your brain, man. It doesn't look healthy.
sorry for samegayging so much but i had to reveal my powerlevel somehow heh
to be quite frank with the OP (
) i would show them the assembly of alien to the third power
Who the frick are you?!
yes
correct
>samegayging this hard
You're one of the good ones.
have a nice day, frogbitch. no one will miss you.
I'd go on a shooting spree. Cleanse the island of those fake inhabitants. Then leave, anywhere touched by Black folks is worthless.
lmao i wish i was as cool as that, man
right here in hell where i belong, that's where
We'd play vidya.
>vidya
have a nice day
How would they react?
If blackness is a hereditary thing from Africa why does it show up in places with no connection to Africa? Sentinelese/Andamans are black. Abos are black. Neither are African.
african equals tabula rasa and most culture is violence, okay
stop being racist, they were raised that way *raises fist*
Why is whiteness a thing out side of Europe?
Their ancestors migrated relatively quickly along the southern coast of Asia so they never evolved light skin
If they somehow didn't kill you, everything you'd have would freak them the frick out, then they'd kill you. People have tried to contact and frick with them for years, they just aren't interested. Like the Missionaries stupid ass that went there to give them bibles, and got turned into a human pin cushion.
I'd show 'em blacked.com
Feed 'em celery
the body is ok but damn
that face
damn
it looks like a cringy metal guitarist
those frickers need to be killed
what's to stop a group of people with guns going there and killing them all?
Why?
they have no respect for the social contract
Nothing. But they are black so they are a protected species
The Indian navy, apparently
india
Gay porn, and cum for a snack
Closed borders are racist ?
>isn't porn rotted brainlets, isn't obsessed with sticking genitals in colons used for shitting, doesn't eat goyslop eats healthy, dies at 50 or 60 as nature intends them to be
Haha.. so uncivilized, unevolved idiots
>tribals can't be gay, aren't obsessed with sex and don't eat unhealthy shit
should we tell him?
>isn't obsessed with sticking genitals in colons used for shitting
tbf we don't know if thats true
>Movie
Martyrs
>Snack
Spareribs with barbecue sauce
i would throw you in a fricking volcano for that shit
You must be a vegetarian
barbecue sauce is sugary shit for homos that ruins every tasty cut of meat it touches
martyrs blows and you probably think "french extreme" or whatever is an actual subgenre
NEXT
Wether you use the sauce is up to you and you are probably the kind of person who only watches american remakes of foreign movies, like "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" or "let the right one in".
you absolutely know you'd put the sauce on at the grill and serve it to me and act all weird if i didn't like it
i actually didn't even know let the right one in got remade as let me in, you could have at least used the proper title
i'll bet it's funny
i'm just having fun. some of martyrs is cool, mostly the ending. i just thought it was weird how tenuous that "new french extreme" thing was; that's the definition of a genre invented by dumb critics. it hasn't been relevant for a decade and it makes me laugh
look man i'd eat your meat and watch your films, just keep the sugar slop off okay
>he doesn't know about all natural Texan BBQ sauce
what's in it?
I honestly just made that up, it's all likely delicious sugar slop.
lmao i like the cut of your jib
not the cut of your sugary meat but we can break bread buddy
I'm not the anon you were talking to, but I'll take it.
Prince of Egypt
Pineapple pizza
>climb highest tree and put a super loud speaker up there
>blast Cotton Eye Joe at max volume on repeat
>leave
cast away and m&ms
Imagine the peace of mind.
I'm sure they have their own history and cultural development, wars and etc, but imagine not knowing anything of the world at all.
You don't know what continents are, there were no world wars, no empires or colonies, no history of movies or fashion, no art movements, no Shakespeare, no Beatles, no China, no Columbus, no football, no Aristotle, no Jesus, no Santa, no Simpsons, no elevators or escalators, no phones, no taxes, no porn, no memes, no magazines, no comics, no internet wires crossing the ocean, no clue that there is such a thing as a polar bear. From time to time, some weird bizarre people come to bother you, you just push them off and get back to your day. Let's just see how long that lasts, perhaps they'll stop bothering you one day. Strange gigantic metal insects sometimes roam the skies and the sea, but you don't know what the hell they are.
A ship wrecked itself on their northwest coast and the crew had to fight them off until rescue came. You can see it on Google Maps.
Uhh what? Where on Google maps?
The northwest corner.
Of?
North sentinel island
It's a pretty kino story
>cargo ship runs aground on tue reefs surrounding the island
>when the weather clears the crew are about to go ashore to wait for rescue
>they stop when they see a crowd of naked men with spears and bows gathering on the beach
>crew figure out where they are and radio for urgent help
>no one in range to reach them
>meanwhile the men on the beach begin felling trees and building boats
>crew radios urgently for a helicopter and a drop of guns to defend themselves
>sorry guys there's some bad weather heading your way and the helicopter won't be able to reach you
>prepare to repel boarders with fire extinguishers and maintenance tools
>savages finish their boats just as the surf starts to kick up
>their little canoes can't get through the rough sea
>they give up and the storm blows overnight
>weather clears in the morning and the crew are rescues by helicopter before the eyes of the savages, who then cut apart the metal ship and fashion it into arrowheads
Reminds me of the cargo cult thing, where soldiers would build airports in strange areas and bring cargo with supplies and food. After they leave the region and abandon the airport, locals started copying the soldiers that worked the airport, with headphones made out of wood and no electricity. They figured if they acted like them, the planes would eventually come.
did you ever see the last movie by dennis hopper?
i think most haven't but it sounds up your alley, same feel
No, I haven't anon, but I'll check it out, thanks!
I didn't think I was going to receive a movie rec like that, on Cinemaphile of all places.
why would they build boats if they could reach it on the ground?
that would take a full day at least, it was much faster to build the boats, for them anyway since they know exactly what they are doing and can do it fast
This happened in the 80's. The island's coastline changed after the earthquake in the 2000's
>cut your leg on a rock/tree/animal claw
>your family and friends immediately begin planning your funeral/burial rites
>have done the burial rites for several people in the same situation before
>it was the same for my parents and their parents
>it's pretty standard stuff really
>as infection progresses, they give me some painkiller/hallucinogic ritualistic drink
>just die on a lovely day on a sunny beach not knowing anything at all
nah see they swim in the ocean salt water and have papaya's and mangos, all very useful to cleanse and heal wounds, they have no idea how it works, but they do know it does
are you proposing a new horror kino about island Black folk (that is la french word, correct?) who evolved to use island Black person things as SUPERPOWERS?
yes anon, yes I am
please make an inverse Cannibal Holocaust harry potter about these alienated victims of socioeconomic status stealing some cameras from yuppies and creating kino
they aren't stealing cameras, they have had enough of the invading demons, they use the crashed ship and reverse engineer it to a certain extent, then a group of yuppies rich poos, bugs and sure white idiots as well, show up in a huge luxury cruise liner to see the island of the last tribe, the natives have boats waiting to attack in stealth, they board the ship to deal with the demons once and for all, hi jinxes and hilarity ensues
>they use the crashed ship and reverse engineer it to a certain extent
lmao you lost me there
dank cargo cult or bust
I just mean they used the metal to build better canoes ors etc. enough to reach the cruise liner, also weapons spears arrows etc. reverse engineered might be the wrong word, scavenged?
oh also they found a gun, it has 7 shots left, it use to have 18 but it took then a while to figure out how to eject the clip, it was by accident, and they figured out it had only 7 bullets left, also they killed the chiefs wife and the war leaders daughter the first few times they tried to use it, thats one of the reason they plan this time to kill them all, for the demons sending them the cured weapon, see its like gods must be crazy, but with horrific murders and maybe cannibalism idk at least a little also this
I like that, and he's the first to crack their language, hes also a linguist see and he's studied reports of them his whole life, thats why he's on the cruise ship, he rows off in a life raft and its ambiguous if he survives or not, while the sentalians sing him the song of their people
*cursed weapon
WHY SO RACIST?
One a the best woman I ever loved was a black queen. Amazing family.
they have canoes, idk I think they have figured out what boats are, just bigger more complicated versions of theirs that run on evil magic
I don't think these tribals have any concept of these things because their brains have devolved from all the inbreeding
them being Black folk doesn't help matters
I'd pull up to their island at night in a speed boat just outside of arrow range and start setting off fireworks
honestly it'd be pretty kino if someone just flew over the island in a chopper and carpeted them with napalm while blasting It Ain't Me from loudspeakers
RoboCop
Pringles for the can alone.
Kill em all tbqh
Cannibal Holocaust and turtle soup. I want to make them feel at home
A barrage of bombs over their puny island
I would introduce them to the kino that is the industrial military complex and the snack I would feed them is white phosphorus and some agent orange to drink.
Zulu
poisoned KFC
Buck breaking and dog treats. They'd never dare hurt another white person again.
I wouldn't do anything. I would listen, that's what no one else did
you're some white-haired grey-bearded anthropologist and that's the end of the film
they murder everyone and you just hear out their socioeconomic woes
as you sail away they sing the song of their people for you, fading into credits
Why don't they just drop someone in full body armor in there?
I'd show them Minority Report. We'd eat popcorn, with cookie dough bites mixed in. I'd probably have to pause at a few scene's to explain the plot, and there might be a language barrier with many of them so I'd have to find the appropriate closed captions, but it'd be kino for sure
no-one has been able to figure out their language, we have no idea what they are saying
Have they sent black people to try to communicate with them? Maybe its just ebonics.
yes, the closest "friendly" one was around 1995 or so, they seemed "friendly" enough but clearly keep showing by gestures they couldn't stay and wanted them gone, so no no-one has cracked the language even though it has been recorded
Have you ever seen black people trying to communicate with each other mate?
Can these frickers even comprehend film? They’d probably just start trying to eat the DVD player and when they realized it was inedible they’d eat you.
Ted
Baskin Robbins
mental illness
physical fitness
I wouldn't show them anything, I would just listen.
I'd feed them cyanide infused marshmallows.
When Harry Met Sally and little Caesar’s pizza.
best thread on Cinemaphile rn
This guy is packing some SERIOUS heat, if you get my drift.
If I was rich I would buy a destroyer and start firing shells at random onto an island like this and film it with drones to see how they react to it. Do they think it’s the gods punishing them or do they just have a collective meltdown? I want to know
i think they would just all get into a big pile and start ass fricking each other
Porn and pizza
rocket launcher kabooom!
The nut job
Wasabi peas
Then i kick them in the wiener when they find out its called the nut job
you know what the weird part is the inbreeding must be on another level theres not many of them there so someones fricking there aunt and niece etc..........and they still look fine???i thought inbreeding was bad
Inbreeding is no problem because white women hire a BBC - Big Black Cargoship once a month to travel there. Curiously there is no arrow fire going on.
What makes you think they look fine?
The Mission
Oreo cookies
Jok2r
Koyaanisqatsi
Cigarettes and coffee
WAKANDA FOREVAH
I would show them the best first so every other movie will be ruined for them
they'll be posting here within a week
>zzzzzzzzz
2001. They'd actually get something from the monkey scenes and I want to see how they react to the pretty colors and the music.
Strong mints.
I have this bizarre fantasy for a long long time of taking these Amazon tribal people-that do have contact with scientists and outsiders,but are still forced to live naked and traditionally in their villages in order to preserve their culture-and lock them in a smallish room with an iPad loaded with weird porn and a bowl of cheese puffs and watch how they respond.
Movie: Starship Troopers
Food: Blue Heat Takis
Drink: Redline
The amount of chimping out that would occur would be some sort of new world record.