What should a gritty and realistic Tomb Raider movie be about?

What should a gritty and realistic Tomb Raider movie be about?

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    no abs in this photo. you had 1 job OP.

    1 JOB.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >abs through clothing
      This isn't a comic book, son.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >prompting is hard!

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >so is my penis!

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    An awful lot of attempted rape

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >attempted

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      We need to go back.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Riiiiiimmmeeehhhh

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It was already implied in one of the nu-lara games that Lara likes to travel around the world and frick foreign men (alongside her Hapa bestie) so it wouldn't really be rape

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        So it wasn't implied at all and in your own screenshot it says Lara was forced out to clubs by her friend

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It suggests she wasn't into it when she was in Bulgaria but when they went to Kilimanjaro she states "who knew we'd run into so many cute guys? Certainly not Lara!" The last bit means she did in fact find them attractive.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            That has absolutely nothing to do with anything you claimed in your last post

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Wrong.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Nice, it's canon that Lara fricked African men.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          No, that's gross and disgusting. Not "nice".

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Kratos and Duke Nukem have lots of casual sex
            >Based
            >Lara Croft does it
            >That’s disgusting!

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              It's mostly the "African" part but yeah in general, too.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Lara Croft canonically never has consensual sex with adult humans.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              Men and women aren't the same.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Have these people never seen East Africans irl before? They’re all scrawny goofy manlets, they’re just like jeets

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Have a guess why that was written in to the game

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            What's funny is that in that same game, Lara had a potential white male love interest who dies simping for her halfway through the story. The more you read between the lines the funnier it gets

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              We can't stop losing, whitebros...
              It's over.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Killamanjaro is in Tanzania. They don't look like Somalians.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >First stop Bulgaria
        >Doesn't end up in the trunk of an 80s Volkswagen and sex trafficked to Turkey

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >There's an in-universe sex tape of Lara and Sam at a Bulgarian bar bathroom and an aids infested African hostel
        Pretty bold for one of the most iconic female video game characters but alright

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          NuLara isn't iconic.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >explore ruins
        What ruins? In Tanzania?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I always thought women got emotionally attached to men that they sleep with, so why would they want to travel around banging a bunch of foreign guys that they're never going to see again?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Cause the novelty and thrill let's them do it for a while, and then they begin to regret it. Then some continue to do it as a way of numbing out the shame. Also some chicks who get molesterized when they're young become compulsive nymphos.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >hikes one of most famous mountains on earth
        >tens of thousands of tourists from around the world every year
        >cuckbrains assume this is a nod to their fantasies
        mentally ill freaks everywhere

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          So if it said that they met cute guys at the great wall of china are we just suppose to assume that none of them could have been Asian? It's not even just the kilimanjaro part, in that same game, all the white male characters died and all of Lara's non-white friends survived, think about the types of people who would write a game like that and think about what they would be implying here. I doubt the writers would want us to assume that Lara would go to an African country and then precede to hook up with white guys there.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            no the writers don't want you to conveniently validate your cuck fetish, you're doing that yourself

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            You probably need to get outside more, anon.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Unrealistic search. No way in hell he wouldn't go for the boobs first.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      whats this from? i dont remember a tomb raider that looked like this

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's a mod for uncharted lost legacy which takes place in India

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >White woman scantily clad in India
          >Not being mobbed and hounded by shitskins.
          Immersion ruined.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Modern Lara gets raped and cries, classic Lara does the raping and laughs

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Not a very sexy face for a mod. What a waste of effort. Also the boobs are still too small.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's super realistic, beautiful white woman travels to other countries and gets sexually assaulted because of Dumb suburban white girl syndrome

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      FRISK THEM TIDDIES TWICE

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    There's a lot of Tom Raider movies like this in rule34video.com

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >woman alone goes to third world country to find lost artifacts
    >encounters locals
    if it doesn't cut to black here, its not going to be realistic or PG rated.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    her rape and torture detailed for 2 hours and then a 5 minute escape sequence

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      i hate when they have "happy" endings at the end of marathon gangrape porn. she should be mindbroken and discarded or sold off

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I prefer the girl getting snuffed at the end but I’m just a psycho like that

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          eh, when they're dead their problems are over

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It's a video game you literally can have multiple endings.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >gritty and realistic Tomb Raider movie be about?
    Rich british heiress marries athlete (futbol or racecar driver) then soends her dad's fortune on returning British Museum artifacts to their home countries, where they are promptly "lost" or destroyed

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Something based on the studio-pirrate porn comics

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      So what did they do during the hour long install?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Lots of sex.
        Anal, veganal, oral, cunnilingus, etc.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That should have been me.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That was probably the best thing to ever happen to that kid. Living the dream!

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      imagine how many times he fapped remembering that day.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Imaging peaking at 9

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  10. 3 weeks ago
    sage

    GOOD MORNING SIR

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it should be phoebe waller bridge lecturing the audience for 90 minutes about how unfair raiding tombs is to the native population and how we need to dismantle the patriarchy

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Should be about Lara friendzoning Jonah

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That's some next level moronic shit right there

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        You've entered the wrong thread for lack of cheese and cringe.

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Something like I spit on your grave.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >schoolboy fantasy
      she was popularwith everyone and had lots of female fans. Those fricking morons really hate that character.

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Lara doesn't frick Africans, Asians, or anyone else for that matter. She fricks horses.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      She gets sexual gratification from forcibly confining geriatric house staff.

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Are there any real-life tombs or ancient structures that come anywhere near the intricacy and scale of the ones in Tomb Raider? I feel like a lot of real life ones are kind of small not that impressive

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That chinese emperor who's tomb was full of Mercury I think?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        They won't even open this homies tomb
        >we don't have le technology
        I ain't buyin it there's nothing in there I bet better to keep the mystery alive

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Nah they fear awakening the immortal emperor and having him overthrow the CCP

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        They won't even open this homies tomb
        >we don't have le technology
        I ain't buyin it there's nothing in there I bet better to keep the mystery alive

        Nah they fear awakening the immortal emperor and having him overthrow the CCP

        They fear that the corpse is white.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          More likely he's still immortal and the chinks have to give up communism and follow their emperor

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            That's a neat idea for a scifi/fantasy film.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      There are ancient cities in the Amazon rainforest that are completely overgrown by foliage and only visible using LIDAR..

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The Egyptian pyramids are pretty complex within and have booby traps.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >and have booby traps.
        Um no they certainly do not.

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Man, Cinemaphile really is getting browner every day.

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Just wait'll AI reaches a new high and NPCs are just doing weird shit on their own. Like Oblivion's NPCs but actually happening.

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >What should
    unironcially scion.
    im not interested in political and social issues, but i want the mystery and the adventure!
    i can play tomb raider I in my sleep! and i want those location to be set in place, different cultures, histories and artefacts dont messs it up rreeeee!

  20. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's Lara canonically a bawd?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      she's british, so yes.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Classic Lara not really, but nu Lara (the one in OPs pic) quite possibly

      It was already implied in one of the nu-lara games that Lara likes to travel around the world and frick foreign men (alongside her Hapa bestie) so it wouldn't really be rape

  21. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The Tomb Raider franchise should be about non-stop rape, ryona and NTR. Anything less would be a bummer.

  22. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  23. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Such a shit and boring character with no visual appeal.
      Remember when people deigned cool and sexy shit?

  24. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I find all these articles complaining about classic Tomb Raider being sexist pretty insulting. I doubt that people who write them ever played the old games.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They rereleased the old trilogy recently . They even patched it to remove some innocuous pinup posters of Lara

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Reminder that
        >it's not happening
        >it's happening but that's a good thing
        >you deserved this

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Fricking travesty.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Reminder that
        >it's not happening
        >it's happening but that's a good thing
        >you deserved this

        Except that they were removed by accident and a patch has restored them, chud.

  25. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      3 for me

  26. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Anal

  27. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I know it's a serious topic but how is it possible that an extremely attractive white woman goes to 3rd world countries and doesn't get constantly sexually harassed.

    A pajeet kept calling my wife a bootiful lady and asking to marry her on our last holiday.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That's why she carries guns.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      In the original games she just shoots everyone.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because not all 3rd world countries are like India or Egypt.
      Latin America has a lot of cute big bunda babes so the men there are already used to seeing sexy women almost naked.
      Eastern Europe is the same thing except their women have big breasts instead of big bundas.
      Arab women are almost always covered head to toe and pajeetas are just ugly.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Hue here, are you trying to imply rape isn't a problem in brazil? lol

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I think it's a solution in Brazil.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Are you trying to imply that Brazil has a rape problem bigger than India?
          lol

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        When your custom character is in a cutscene.

  28. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Good thing she's got a safety rope for that 2 foot drop

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      qt autist.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Modern day Ginger Rogers here.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Heh

  29. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The demo for this game was better than porn as a teenager

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Better than porn even now tbh. But maybe that's nostalgia.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      pusy

  30. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    HORSE
    wiener

  31. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Best Lara.

  32. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    So she goes into a tomb
    And then she raids it

  33. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I hate how nu-Lara has replaced classic Lara in the minds of zoomers. RIP Vidya Queen.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Nah, even Crystal Dynamics wanna go back to the old kind of Lara with future games.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        they've been saying this for the past 10 years, it's obvious Crystal has 0 intention and 0 testosterone to bring classic Lara back
        if they EVER do it, it will be because they're in deep financial shit

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Nah. They don't careat all for the cahracter and when people mention Lara croft only the orginal comes to mind.
      The other is just a hobo.

      Nah, even Crystal Dynamics wanna go back to the old kind of Lara with future games.

      They are forced to, becausetheir shit isn't popular, but it won't work, because nobody wants some shitty nuLara/Lara hybrid and it will stil be a shitty scanfaced nulara with some classic visual gimmick either way

  34. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A pulp adventure, with big-titted bombshell Lara doing ebil colonial shit like senselessly gunning down natives and taking their precious cultural artefacts to display in the foyer of her mansion, It's meant to be a cutting satire but it backfires.

  35. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    An adventure through ancient temples and shit, except her clothes keep getting torn over the first quarter until she's completely naked and stays that way for the rest of the movie. Even including several scenes where she has the opportunity get dressed but instead chooses not too. The climax features her smuggling a rare artifact by stuffing it deep inside her uterus.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >The climax features her smuggling a rare artifact by stuffing it deep inside her uterus.
      >Not her butthole

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No room. Where do you think she keeps her guns? Her bladder's already stuffed with extra ammo mags.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      A childhood mystery solved! A Christian friend told me about this game as an example of how evil games were getting ("it's like Tomb Raider but she's a nudist!"). Hilarious this is what it turned out to be

  36. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >What should a gritty and realistic Tomb Raider movie be about?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Wish I could get AI to make my thinly veiled fetish

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sauce?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Sadly it's just from an anon on Cinemaphile that refused to share his prompts.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Hard to imagine there is someone out there who faps to Lara and little boys but here we are. Good job Cinemaphile

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      shotagays are closet gays

  37. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Entixingly pale

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Needs hairy pussy & pits.

  38. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >enemies are mostly interested in raping and enslaving her
    >she spends most of her time either in captivity or escaping then having to survive naked in the wilderness

  39. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >we have Katniss at home

  40. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous
  41. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A Tomb Raider movie wouldn't be gritty nor realistic ad it certainly wouldn't have that shitty reboot "Laura" in it.
    Make something like Jolie Lara (but better) or adapt Tomb Raider 96. Classic Lara only (no pickaxe, no necklace, no bow)

  42. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    BIG
    DUSTY
    TOOMS!

  43. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Lara finds an ancient supplement and becomes a super hero

  44. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ulgy boring dogshit character. Kill it already
    The one we had in 00s was perfect

  45. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Lara in trouble ep 1-7

  46. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Lara gets trapped in a ruin with a leopard. In the second act they fall in love, Passion in the Desert style. Directed by noname55.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yep, it's Kino.

  47. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    For me, it's Ellen Rocche

    http://web.archive.org/https://imgur.com/a/O7F1Ypa

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