I took the day off work because I took a line drive to the face last night at slow pitch softball. Since I’m going to spend all day with a bag of ice covering the plum that replaced my eye, are there any good series to binge?
What show on Netflix is actually worth watching?
The Great Pretender is pretty good, just stop watching after the 1st season is over, because season 2 is a pile of shit.
The Serpent
Huh, that actually sounds really interesting. I could definitely binge that today. Maybe it’ll take my mind off my shiner
If you like true crime, I’d take a look at Fear City. Really solid miniseries.
>the plum that replaced my eye
It can be that bad. I feel like you’re being dramatic
I’m really not. SpongeBob and I are twinning rn
I don’t believe you. I know that’s literally a cartoon, but you are talking about a black eye that is literally cartoon level bad
I guess you can decide for yourself
That’s not even bad. It’s swollen, sure, but it’s barely bruised. That doesn’t even crack the top ten worst black eyes I’ve ever seen. You’re being dramatic
holy kek
but seriously well wishes and swift recovery, my dude
Haha, thanks. Hopefully you don’t think it looks too bad. I’ve noticed the bruising get better since last night so hopefully I’m well on my way to looking normal again. Hopefully I can get all the swelling down by tonight and have the bruising gone by Monday
What's wrong with the rest of your skin? Why is it all brown? Are you sick?
Just shitty lighting in my apartment. I’ve got the blinds closed right now and don’t want anyone to see my ugly face lol
Anon, are you sure you’re good? That eye looks nasty. Like really fricking nasty
A buddy on the team is an athletic trainer. He seemed to think I was okay. He told me to wait until I could open it to make sure my vision was okay and to just ice it in the meantime. I know it looks kinda bad, but you don’t think it’s that bad, right?
National Geographic determined what Cinemaphile posters will look like in 2050, and it's beautiful
Orbital fractures hurt like a b***h. Hope your eyeball doesn't fall in behind your cheekbone.
I’m sorry, what?
> Hope your eyeball doesn't fall in behind your cheekbone.
That can happen???
Also it sounds like you’re talking from experience?
Yes, it can and I do.
is me.
>That can happen???
Yes, it's why breaking your orbital bone is a huge risk. People end up going blind that way commonly because there's no way to medically intervene. During healing, the eyeball slowly drifts into the fracture until it goes too far and the optic nerve dies. There is 0 way to prevent this because there is no way to cast the bone into the correct position.
take a bunch of benadryl to reduce the swelling
t. Doctor
Isn’t Benadryl just for allergies?
No. If you take enough you can see the spiders.
See the spiders?
you can get some light hallucinations (not just visual but audio too) out of a sufficiently large dose. one that's consistent is the appearance of translucent spiders
i wouldn't recommend it though, the trade-off is you feel incredibly shitty and it's bad for your health
Yeah, as you might imagine, I feel shitty enough as is. No reason to frick with my body even more than it is. Plus the last thing I need is to trip balls on something with only one working eye and somehow manage to frick up my other one. No need to complete the panda look lol
Alice in Borderland
Altered Carbon S1
Barbarians S1
Copenhagen Cowboy
Cyberpunk: Edgerunners
Dark
Devilman Crybaby
The Haunting of Hill House
Into the Night
Kingdom
The Last Kingdom
Maniac
Narcos
Squid Game
Sweet Home
Thanks! I’ve seen a couple of those already with mixed reviews. The one I wanted to love was The Last Kingdom, but I found Uhtred to be really unlikable and could only do like 2 seasons
You fricking disgust me with this list of garbage
They're the best Netflix originals, not the best TV shows ever. Go ahead and post better ones.
You must be fun at parties homosexual
Bet my entire back account you've never touched a vegana other than your mothers
>Dark
Watching this kino now, just finished S1
Dark and Mindhunter
That Dahmer thing is pretty good also
If you want action then I just watched Extraction 2 and it was legitimately really good, and it literally only had 1 black in the whole film, Idris Elba, and he was only in it for like 5 minutes max
I just started it! I like it so far, but watching it through one eye really sucks lol
>I took a line drive to the face
Why didn't you just catch the ball dummy?
I thought the pitcher was going to catch it, and I only saw it at the last second. Evidently that will be the last thing I see out of my eye for a little while
Did anyone say anything kino like "YIKES that's GOTTA hurt!"?
Everyone was just really concerned at first. After an hour, it looked like this and then I got my first “yikes, that’s gotta hurt.” At least the bruising seems to have gotten better since last night
Pro tip. You can say "I guess I should have kept my eye on the ball" if you want. You take that free of charge kiddo.
No. You say, “they told me to keep my eye on the ball”. Turn in your dad joke badge and quip quiver.
Hopefully I only need to make one day of these dad jokes. I think the bruising has improved since last night and only the swelling has gotten worse. If I can get the swelling down by tomorrow morning I bet all the bruising can be gone by Monday. I really don’t want to go into work looking like I got my ass kicked lol
>You should see the other guy.
Hopefully I only have to deal with those excuses tomorrow
>calling in sick for a black eye
Zoomers will be the end of us all
I didn’t want to gross out my coworkers…
Plus I can’t even open it right now
>You know in my day we didn't wait to be asked, we just marched into the bosses office and sucked his dick.
I call in sick when I want a day or three off
Black Summer
Kek, with the way anon’s eye is looking, he’s about to have his own black summer
babylon berlin or seinfeld
the woodstock 99 documentary is a good watch
>boomers try to revive woodstock as a for-profit venture
>completely clueless as to the nature of popular music and young people in the 90s
>act confused and dismayed when bands like korn and limp bizkit play their bangers instead of forming drum circles while giving their opinions about the vietnam war
>riots and carnage ensue
Thanks! If I manage to get through Alia’s Grace today I’ll have to check it out. Maybe if my eye is still nasty tomorrow I’ll take another day off lol
They're breaking...stuff?
Imagine that. I am absolutely flabbergasted
>inserts some bs about white racism. We really are in a little dark age
>member that drug fueled week of free love and expression we had when we were younger what if we commercialized every single aspect of it behind a paywall even charging an arm and a leg for a bottle of water and after we spent 30 years on a war against those very drugs that "defined" the experience including mandatory lengthy prison sentencing just for possessing one
I hate boomers so much it's unreal
>have one eye
>insist on consooming slop
guess the margaret atwood rec is good for you
Well, only one good eye. The other eye is currently sealed shut by a 1 inch thick mass of purple flesh. I think it’s really good though!
You're a pussy lmao
Why do you say that?
Calling into work for a black eye
I mean, I’m not sure I want to be seen with my eye looking like a plum right now and imagine my coworkers would feel the same, don’t you?
>guys, look at this gnarly injury I got playing the kids version of baseball! The post
Pathetic
Anon, that looks really bad. You should go see a doctor. Your AT friend has no idea wtf he’s talking about
It’s getting a little bit better. I’ve noticed the swelling isn’t quite as bad as it was when I woke up and I can kinda pry it open. My vision seems okay
I mean, yeah, if you spend 3 hours icing it, the swelling is going to improved but that eye looks really gross. You probably broke a bone that may need surgery. I’ve seen way worse black eyes where someone broke a bone, yours is almost a guarantee
^this
^and this
I broke an orbital socket in two places. Not something you want to frick with or chance.
How bad did your eye look compared to mine? It’s been like 14 hours since it happened
Worse being i fractured the top and bottom. But bruising isn't always an indication of how bad something is broken. I broke my hand also (boxers fracture) and it hardly bruised.
I'd go get that shit x-rayed just to be safe.
Makes sense. I’ll head to the urgent care to have them take a look. What are the chances it’s broken and will need surgery?
I can't say man, I'm not an orthopedic surgeon. I got lucky despite having a double fracture and didn't need surgery.
It did frick my facial symmetry up a little though. That eye is ever so slightly lower than the other.
Makes sense. How long did you have the black eye? I was hoping I could have the bruising gone by Monday
Sounds like you'll be lucky if you still have an eye still on Monday.
Im sure you’re joking, but I’ve got a presentation in front of my company’s CEO on Monday so I really need to not have a black eye by then
kek bruising and swelling from fractures lasts at least a couple of weeks. there's no way you're gonna look normal on Monday
How bad is it going to look by then? I’ve never had a black eye before?
Probably worse tbh. Bruising usually takes a couple of days to "peak".
Especially with fractures. The damaged tissue and bone keeps leaking clotting blood. I would expect 1/3 of anon's face to be blue by tomorrow
Yup. Im
. If I was at home, I'd post a picture of what it looked like. It was pretty brutal. If OP only has a black eye and no fracture, it will probably only get darker and not spread much more.
But if I do have a fracture the bruising is going to get darker *and* way bigger?
Very likely so unfortunately. Avoid aspirin and ibuprofen. They may help a little with swelling, but they also thin the blood, which could exacerbate the bruising.
All I had was aspirin for pain meds so I took some last night and this morning for the pain. I figured since they were anti-inflammatories I’d be okay. I take it that was a mistake?
No, but it could make bruising a little worse. Get some tylenol/acetaminophen.
Shit, that was dumb. Hopefully the urgent care gives me some acetaminophen. Waiting to get X-rays now.
Make sure you don't touch anything or you'll probably get MRSA. That's permanent.
I’ll do my best. Hopefully it’s just a shiner and nothing more
Good luck fren. Hopefully you didn't break it. At least it wasn't your nose, you'd have two black eyes. Been there too.
Double orbital fracture
Hand/boxers fracture
Broken nose, twice
Skull fracture
Broken ankle
Broken finger
Broken 9 of 10 toes
Bones heal
Chicks dig scars
Pain is temporary
Glory is forever
Two black eyes would be awful, but at least I’d have some symmetry. Somehow this looks better than I do now lol
If you wear contact lenses and broke the socket, they'll probably tell you not to wear them in that eye or quite some time depending on how bad it is. They told me that putting them in and out could possibly cause the eye to drop behind the cheekbone. I still haven't gone back to contacts 18yrs later.
Luckily no contact lenses. Just came back from x-rays. Currently waiting on the results. The X-ray tech did kinda make fun of me saying “dang, how badly did you piss your wife off?”
Should've told them you were gay and single. Kek
Monitoring thread for results and rolling for good luck.
Thanks, nothing yet. Hopefully soon
Well, the good news is that my eye won’t fall out and the doctor doesn’t think I’ll need surgery. The bad news is that I have two fractures, one on my orbital rim and one on my cheekbone. The doctor said to follow up with an ophthalmologist and an orthopedic surgeon to confirm his findings. He did tell me I have the most impressive black eye he’s ever seen so at least there’s that lol fml
Good job moron. Post more pics when it starts leaking puss and decayed eyeball and stuff.
Certainly hoping it doesn’t end up leaking puss or that my eyeball starts to decay. The doctor did tell me to expect a bloody eyeball to go along with some lovely bruising
Anon if fricking with you. I didn't have any of that shit and mine was worse. Eyeball was pretty "bloodshot" for a few days though.
Jesus, yours was worse??? How long did you have the shiner? My doc told me 4-6 weeks for the bruising, minimum.
You can use makeup to cover any bruising up. Its pretty easy. Seen it on tv.
I asked the doc about makeup and he said not for a couple weeks because he didn’t want me to frick with the area at all. Did your black eye last a while?
>Did your black eye last a while?
Never had one. I always caught the ball.
Another options other than makeup?
Maybe an eyepatch for the wedding? Looking like a pirate has to be superior to showing up with a gross looking black eye
I suppose an eyepatch wouldn’t be terrible. Especially if makeup isn’t an option.
you could go full blackface?
Well, standby. The doctor said I should probably expect the bruising to spread like a motherfricker and turn my face all kinds of colors. Most of it will propagate be black anyway lol
Bruising from my double orbital lasted about that long. The shitty part was it being swollen shut. Fricked with my depth perception for a few days until I got used to it. Be careful driving in this regard. Things aren't as far away as they may seem.
That sucks. Here I was initially thinking the whole black eye would be gone by Monday. Now I’m hoping that I’ll even be able to open it by then. Driving to the urgent care was a b***h so it will take a lot of getting used to.
Jesus, looking like fricking sumo wrestler makeup.
Yeah, the doctor said I should expect it to keep getting worse for several more days before it peaks and then it would slowly start to get better. Monday’s presentation should be interesting
Ah bummer man. Hopefully it doesn't get too painful. I didn't sleep for shit for about two weeks. Every time I rolled over, the pain from the pressure would wake me up. Probably gonna swell up some more, keep ice on it today. Probably be a couple of days before you can open it too, and even then it might only be partially. Don't remember how long mine was swollen shut, but it was quite a few days before I could open it completely.
Yeah, the timing of this really sucks. Big presentation Monday and then my brother’s wedding next Saturday. The doc said to ice for today and tomorrow then switch to heat to break up the bruising. He said likely 4-6 weeks minimum for the bruising to heal. Hopefully I can at least open my eye for the presentation
Not to rub salt in the wound, but your eye is going to still be fricked by the wedding. I hope you aren’t in the wedding party
Damn anon, that might be the worst black eye I’ve ever seen
Anon, if it makes you feel any better, you can pretty safely bet that you’ll never had a black eye as bad as this one again
Worse than it does now?? Like will the bruising get bigger or will it just change colors? I suppose as long as the swelling is down it might be okay
Probably darker. Keep icing to help keep swelling down.
Best start applying for new jobs.
Really? Is it going to be that bad?
It was 18yrs ago. Around three / four weeks iirc.
Damn, 3-4 weeks??? I was hoping 3-4 days. This meeting is gonna be super awkward
If anyone asks what happened, just tell them Rule #1 says you can't talk about what happened.
CEO gets scared
Gives you a promotion
Profit
Yeah bruising from breaks can take a lot longer to heal. Hell, I've had regular black eyes that still took a week to clear up and even then there was still slight discoloration.
Also, which is odd. Because my hand did need surgery and it didn't even look or feel broken. So just because it might not feel broken, doesn't mean it isnt.
That got dark really fast. That thing is going to look like a black hole tomorrow lol
This is hockey player Morgan Barron, who take a razor blade to the face. He went to the hospital, got 75 stitches, and went back to the arena to finish the game. Get back to work pussy
I don’t think my coworkers would appreciate my black eye in the same way Barron’s teammates would
If you eye falls out please take a picture and post it before you leave for the hospital.
Well, luckily I think I’ll be able to avoid that since all the swelling is holding everything in place lol
Gonna need ya to spread yo butthole sir
Well I've seen three episodes of the new Black Mirror and they are some of the weakest the series has put out, so I can unrecommend that.
My cousin took a squash ball to his left eye a few years back. He is now blind in that left eye.
I';m sure you'll be okie-dokie though, OP.
I'd use this oppurtunity of brain damage to watch BBC sissy hipno all day
Pulling for you homosexual OP. Looks rough but try and stay jocular.
Goddammit Carlos
Lucifer
None
If you see "N' avoid it
They got rid of altered carbon so none
Never heard of that one. Maybe it’s available through Amazon?
Umbrella Academy.
ray
Is that a blind joke?
Mr Sunshine is an absolutely insane K-Drama about Korea LOVES America and HATES the Japanese.
>scene where U.S. Navy slaughters many dozens of Korean soldiers
>Admiral: "These men fought so valiantly! Not like the shifty, small-dicked Japanese who bowed to our demands to open up for trade."
>America keeps kicking the shit out of Korea
>Korean Court Official: "We have much to learn from these well-armed, large-dicked Americans who slaughtered our disposable peasant men."
Watch Taboo
NOOTCA
mm
Manifest