what the actual FRICK was this dudes problem?

what the actual FRICK was this dudes problem?

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  1. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    They all had great haircuts.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      I miss when fantasy characters looked like this, long hair, mullets, giant mustaches. nowadays they all look like metrosexuals

  2. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    He was a slippery little sneaky snake

  3. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    in the beginning he was just a warlord that wanted to check out some steel weapons and if they were really better than what he already had
    then in the later part of the movie he has come to the conclusion that steel isnt what its hyped up to be. possibly because conan's tribe didn't work steel, they were using cast iron weapons, which are comparatively brittle.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yes, Conan's dad was still stuck in the bronze age. His swords could be made sharp but they'd have zero flex to them.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        yeah. i mean i dont blame him, he was a literal hobo moron living in the woods, it would make sense to use the same smelting and casting techniques as with bronze.
        and the sword he made for conan does actually shatter in the movie too, which suggests it is in fact cast iron.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      it was a doggy dog world back then.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >possibly because conan's tribe didn't work steel, they were using cast iron weapons, which are comparatively brittle.
      i feel dumb for never realising this

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        kek it's all right anon, the movie doesn't focus on it at all, but the pieces are all there in plain sight

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      So the riddle of steel is that someone has to the steel and he can be shit at making it?

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        no, the riddle of steel is basically bullshit that morons like conans dad tells other morons.
        there is no riddle of steel or flesh
        you need both.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          So steel is only as strong as the man?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            no, both are useless without each other

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            In the books the victories of Conan come down to two factors. Will and luck. He has the will to live and he is in the right place at the right time.
            make of that what you will

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            In a way, yes, but the riddle of steel can cover a number of interpretations. For example you can also make it about trust. Believing only in yourself will end with you getting broken and beaten like Conan when he went solo and/or his father's sword; blind trust in others will make you end up like the woman Tulsa orders to come to him, while manipulating others to your whim will end with you encountering someone who resists your charm and fricking decapitates you, with the sheep you've gathered being unable to assist you. You can only succed when you trust yorself, but can trust other people and accept their help.
            tl;dr they don't do movies like this one anymore

  4. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Still the best soundtrack put to cinema

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      correct

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      shame its in mono

  5. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    He misunderstood the riddle of steel
    He thought that the hand holding it was more important, and that a man could live unarmed so long as he had others to serve him or some sort of power unassociated with weaponry
    Thulsa Doom was a sorcerer and a warlord, he not only had people but the natural world at his service, so this concept was familiar to him already
    Conan showed that though the flesh may be strong, it is nothing without steel, when he decapitated a foolishly unarmed Thulsa Doom

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >a foolishly unarmed Thulsa Doom
      to be entirely fair, conan did nail his Will save just before.
      he would have been torn apart and eaten by the crowd if he hadn't

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      No. Thulsa Doom was correct.
      Steel is nothing without the Flesh which wields it.

      The Flesh is both the literal flesh and also the living willpower within it.

      However Thulsa Doom was incorrect that he believed the solution was to gain dominance and control over others to wield the Steel for him, and if he controlled enough Flesh (willing to even die for him as demonstrated to Conan before his crucifixion) then he would have solved the Riddle.

      He was wrong, and Conan through his strength of Flesh (both the physical strength of his living body and his indomitable willpower forged through adversity like the strongest steel) overcame the Will of Thulsa Doom in a direct confrontation of Willpower, in which Conan wielded his own steel with his own personal strength and beheaded the foolishly unarmed Thulsa Doom.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        All you did was make a longer version of my post

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          i thought that was weird too
          wait, is that an AI posting?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      No. Thulsa Doom was correct.
      Steel is nothing without the Flesh which wields it.

      The Flesh is both the literal flesh and also the living willpower within it.

      However Thulsa Doom was incorrect that he believed the solution was to gain dominance and control over others to wield the Steel for him, and if he controlled enough Flesh (willing to even die for him as demonstrated to Conan before his crucifixion) then he would have solved the Riddle.

      He was wrong, and Conan through his strength of Flesh (both the physical strength of his living body and his indomitable willpower forged through adversity like the strongest steel) overcame the Will of Thulsa Doom in a direct confrontation of Willpower, in which Conan wielded his own steel with his own personal strength and beheaded the foolishly unarmed Thulsa Doom.

      both conan's dad and thulsa had only parts of the riddle
      steel turns brittle and flesh withers but will is indomitable.
      conan showed that.

  6. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    I love conan lore

    We actually WERE kings

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      this image made me angry

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous
        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          not the content, the way its formatted

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous
  7. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Didnt Conan's mother end up as a prostitute irl?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >irl

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        kek beat me to it

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          well to be fair, conan is an alternate history of modern day earth...

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >alternate
            anon, i think its time we had a talk...

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      anon,
      ALL actresses are prostitutes

  8. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    He sought ultimate power.

  9. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    he was an evil wizard and he aint gotta explain shit

  10. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    He should have just zapped Conan with a fireball or melted him with a cloud of acid or something

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      conan literally outsmarts every wizard sorcorer cuck he comes across

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Have to invoke Set and commune for like 30+ seconds
        >Conan beheads you mid chant before Set deigns to empower you
        >Or you get your spell off but Crom breaks his own rules and helps Conan because frick Set and frick Set worshippers
        Get cucked, sorcerergays.

        pure and simple cope

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          Its all they have anon

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >goes back to England
            >gets acid thrown in face
            >disfigured for life
            Why are bongs so fricking stupid?

            • 9 months ago
              Anonymous

              Our violent crime rate is actually a lot lower per capita than in the US. Purely socio-economic factors.

              • 9 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Purely socio-economic factors.
                Yes, and also demographics
                America is less dangerous than any of the South American shitholes who ban guns

            • 9 months ago
              Anonymous

              >>gets acid thrown in face
              like 5 cases a year, max, all of them milked by feminists

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        yeah like that time he was nailed to the tree and died

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah but he's trying to prove a point.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      not that kind of wizard
      he's a hypnotist and shape changer

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Have to invoke Set and commune for like 30+ seconds
      >Conan beheads you mid chant before Set deigns to empower you
      >Or you get your spell off but Crom breaks his own rules and helps Conan because frick Set and frick Set worshippers
      Get cucked, sorcerergays.

  11. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    SNEK

  12. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Thulsa Doom was the last Atlantean. He didn't think of the people around him as real. They were just playthings and goblins to him.
    But he got lazy and complacent and started leaving enemies everywhere, and one of them finally caught him slipping.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      good take

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Conan and the Cimmerians were descendants of the Atlanteans. I assumed Doom was Stygian, or the secret people before the Stygian, forget their name

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