What were some times you acted like Lorne Malvo from Fargo?

What were some times you acted like Lorne Malvo from Fargo?

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  1. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I can't say. Anons will be mad with me.

  2. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I once got that hair cut back in the mid 80's

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Your are Turkish?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I got it 3 weeks ago

  3. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >waitress asks if I'd like cream and sugar with my coffee
    >answer with a long winding five minute parable about a Polish man and a bear
    >shoot her in the head and kill everyone in the café

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Hahaha literally me

  4. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I worked 6 months as a gynecologist just to examine the pussy of the girl I liked

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Based beyond belief if true

      literally asked mutiple people why the human eye can see more shades of green than any other animal. They didn`t get it

      Why did he say that to Lester anyway? When he asked it I initially thought he meant money as the answer

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        90% of the random monologues in Fargo are just threats
        >what do you want?
        >have you ever hear of the story of the blacksmith and the pineapple? Well in 18th century Portugal...

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Extremely true

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Molly explains it later on. Basically the human eye can see many shades of green in order to discern predators in wooded/jungle environments

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Is Molly Reddit personified?

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Knowing things =/= “Reddit” but I can see why someone as stupid as you are might think that because it would be a convenient excuse if true.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              If you like her, you'd probably love Goosebumps. RL Stein invented her archetype.

              >Protag: Look at this compelling evidence.
              >Authority figure: Learn your place. Shut up, go back in your hole, and stop raising a fuss.
              >Protag: Why won't anyone listen to me!

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Is Molly Reddit personified?

                >nooo you can't just have a cop character that butts heads with their superior and cracks the case despite them! That's reddit and for children!

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              >Knowing things
              It's a speculative factoid which is impossible to establish. You can't know this to be the absolute reason, nobody can.
              It's not "knowing things" because it's not knowledge. It's just more "I hecking love soience" fluff that exists only to be repeated in conversation because it sounds cool and soiency. There are a million similar factoids floating around on the internet about history, physics, space, etc.
              It doesn't even make sense. Most of the prehistoric inhabitable world (i.e., around wildlife) would be green. It makes sense that they'd distinguish green shades for pretty much every facet of life. The predators that prehistoric humans have faced have largely NOT been green, so why would distinguishing between shades of green even be the most important thing in detecting them?

              That's why it's reddit.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                Most reddit post in this thread. kys homosexual

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                wow typical leddit response, good job comrade

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            She was really alright, basically likeable for her earnestness. Loved it when she mogged Saul by hooking the BBC BBW aficionados from the FBI.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              Just watched that scene, I agree it was satisfying. I didn’t expect Key and Peele to show up in this show

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                They were surprisingly not horrible

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            >thing X is... LE REDDIT
            people like you are ironically and unironically the biggest problem this website has

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              b-b-but muh company war

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        He saw himself as a predator playing with a world filled with prey, with most prey unable to spot him until he attacked.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Is it good writing if it takes a decade and some Cinemaphile gay to get me to finally understand it?

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            molly literally explains it in the same episode or the next one

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              Yeah she explains it in the literal sense, the predator bullshit, which by the way sounds like old-wives-tale-nonsense and has no basis in reality. But she fails to actually connect why Malvo would say that.

              • 3 months ago
                Anonymous

                it's just a threat like almost anything else that comes out of his mouth

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            how could you not get it instantly? is it the show's fault you are so moronic?

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            They had a character explain it to you just in case you couldn't figure it out on your own and you still couldn't get it, you moronic Black person.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Ah that actually makes perfect sense

  5. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    literally asked mutiple people why the human eye can see more shades of green than any other animal. They didn`t get it

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      This is wrong by the way. Predators aren't green, as long as you can see green you can see them. Should have focused on face recognition, fear of the dark, etc.The green thing is more about depth perception in forests.

      Man's built like a chemo patient. Who's buying this shit?

      He has super strength. Did you see the scene where he pulls a 300ib fat guy for like a mile with one hand?

      As someone who plays Dead By Daylight you'll probably like all the dumb supernatural shit the moronic writer threw into all the other seasons, just because he misunderstood the point of a scene in the movie.

      Aliens were uberkino, bowling alley was megakino, tub ghost was too intrusive but I liked the design.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >aliens swoop down to save character
        >bowling alley swoops in to save character
        >evil ghost swoops in to save character
        >immortal sin eater man swoops in to save character
        deus ex machina bullshit, one and all, but at least the immortal was a character unto himself. I agree about the ghost design, though. If they'd just made a show about him and the family he's haunting I would have probably thought it was great.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          The aliens started the problem too tbf

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah, and it's not like they couldn't just have had the dude get momentarily distracted by some weirdly moving lights in the sky just like in the first episode, giving the sheriff his opening. They didn't have to have a flying saucer come down and shine a light straight at the two of them. Then it would have been like the rain of fish. Weird shit that can have some natural explanation but characters themselves interpret them as unnatural.

  6. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Reddit character

    >gets away with everything because uhh he's the devil or some shit

  7. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    official fargo powerlevels calculated as combat skills/tactics/grand strategy:

    Malvo 5/5/3
    Lester 1/5/4
    Hanzee 5/5/4 (OP due to racial bias)
    Peggy and Ed, 2/4/4 and 4/2/2 respectively
    Vargas 1/3/5
    Swango 3/4/4

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      The Sin Eater doesn't count because he's his season's random supernatural inclusion that saves the MC, right? Otherwise he must be pretty high just on account of surviving for all those centuries and never losing an ear before.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        haven't watched seasons 4 and 5, everyone says 4 is shit

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          It's not that bad. It's just very rough.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          4 is shit, and not because there are black people. everything is awful

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Season 4 is a mediocre show on its own but more importantly it's simply not Fargo at all. Fargo thrives on the simple idea of regular small-town people getting embroiled with organised criminals from bigger cities. In S4 we instead follow two gangs having a war from right from the start.

          It's weird because they could have just focused on the mortuary family and have them ignite and then try to survive a gang war because of the outlaw sister trying to help them pay off a loan by robbing the wrong people, making them initially think it was the other gang pulling the hit.

          I still don't understand what the frick the point of the Wizard of Oz episode was, beyond being some random padding.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Peggy and Ed is more like 1/1/1 and 2/1/1.

      They were just ordinary lunatics that got extremely lucky at times.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        they both defeated several professional gang members by themselves and only lost to Hanzee

        >Most sinister
        Lorne Malvo

        >Most powerful
        VM Varga

        >Most cool
        Wrench and Numbers

        Varga would get destroyed by Malvo or Hanzee, he's shit against underground agents he can't search on Google

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Malvo would destroy chimphanzee and it's not even close. It's the devil vs a demon.

  8. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >woman giggles at my weird hair while Im getting groceries
    >follow her home and murder her

  9. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    any movies or other shows with characters like him?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      no country for old men
      bad santa

  10. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Man's built like a chemo patient. Who's buying this shit?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >noo you have to be buff to kill someone in an ambush
      you are the prey who can't recognise the predator because he doesn't stand out as big and scary enough

  11. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    This message only gets funnier as the show goes on. Is season 2 as good as 1?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      no

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      As someone who plays Dead By Daylight you'll probably like all the dumb supernatural shit the moronic writer threw into all the other seasons, just because he misunderstood the point of a scene in the movie.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Frick..I actually don’t think I will like that

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          What, you don't want supernatural stuff to be thrown in to make the story random and more "realistic" as a "based on a true story" story? Even thought they all end up saving an MC from certain death, thus making them the least random part of each season?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous
      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        not far off..

  12. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Hey it’s Vern Parvo

  13. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >german mafia
    >sardinian mafia
    what next, finnish mafia?

  14. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I act like Lorne Malvo every day when I post on Cinemaphile and start 200+ post arguments that I myself do not get involved in

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I look exactly like him tho without the plot power it means Im just an ugly guy

  15. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    same lol

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Damn the 2nd season must really suck if a woman that hot thinks it’s good

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's about a thicc lady with big booba, she sympathizes with that

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Thick. It is thick you stupid monkey.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Thick = dumb
            Thicc = chubby
            Thiccc = fat ass
            Reprobate

  16. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >leave the office 5 minutes early to be at the gate eaxactly at 5pm to clock out
    >coworker says that's against the rules
    > there are no rules, we used to be gorillas

  17. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Wish Lundy/Lou was my dad/grandpa tbh

  18. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Also season 3 has the best ending ever, filtered normies properly.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      why? The bad guys always die/get caught in Fargo

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        oh I forgot about Hanzee I guess

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Was Hanzee bad? He only kills criminals.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            Its implied he became Malvo through plastic surgery and gene therapy. No I'm not kidding.

            • 3 months ago
              Anonymous

              No he becomes the crime boss that Malvo kills in the office

  19. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Only once, when I was 6 and my grandma gave me that same haircut

  20. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Huh. Idk why but the ending didn’t quite land for me. Great show overall though

  21. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    What whatever happens to the fat god fearing grocery store owner guy? Where did that money he took off the side of the road even come from? Dude kinda just disappeared off the show after his son and bodyguard dies from fish rain

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      He lived the rest of his life realizing the world is still a bad place

  22. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >"Hey Lester its me your inexplicably single local Minnesotan Asian supermodel coworker, sorry to hear your wife got brutally murdered with a hammer, want to come over for chili Saturday?"
    What do?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Have sex I guess

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Date her for a year then cheat on her with hotel floozies

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Him killing her was the point of no redemption for Lester despite me not being a big fan of asian women

  23. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    There’s really aliens in season 2? Lmao I wasn’t super impressed looking at the cast but maybe I’ll watch it afterall

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      They're mostly weird lights in the background, except for the fact that they cause the whole story to happen and then show up in the finale to cap it off. It's mostly baffling that they exist because the head writer didn't understand the dinner-date scene in the original movie and so thought he should include them as a purely random element.

  24. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    This one time i chugged a grape sodie just like Malvo

  25. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    So is season 2 worth watching? I really enjoyed the 1st season but I heard this show turns to shit fast.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      season 1 = 10/10
      season 2 = 9/10
      season 3 = 8/10
      season 4 = ---
      season 5 = 7.5/10

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's got moronic elements but also some really fricking good shit so overall it's very worth it. It's the fourth season that completely shits the bed by being about a gang war.

        So is the fourth season completely skippable? I always watch everything in order(my normalgay friend admitted he’s only seen season 5 when I told him I loved season 1) but if it has any connection other seasons I’d probably still watch it. For example I heard 2 was a prequel to 1

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          It has about the same level of "prequel" stuff to S2 as S2 has to S1.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's got moronic elements but also some really fricking good shit so overall it's very worth it. It's the fourth season that completely shits the bed by being about a gang war.

  26. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    the more i watched this show the more i realized hes just a cheap imitation of bardem's portrayal of anton chigurh.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Except he's not an autistic force of nature flipping a coin to decide whether to kill someone, he's a psychopath who likes to push people's buttons by talking and acting in the right way. The fact that you think they have anything in common except being killers with bad haircuts just shows how bad your media literacy is.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        compare colin hanks' portrayal to the gas station attendant in ncfom, note their nearly identical confused terror, and then go back to r3ddit. you believe the two antagonists are fundamentally different because you're looking at them with surface level scrutiny. they serve the same purpose in their stories, beyond the obvious "ultimate evil kill guy".

  27. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I call people up late and have them listen to me shit on people

  28. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I've met him.

  29. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I loved seasons 1-3, 4 was too busy, didn't even know there was a 5. How's it?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      5 is better than 4 but they still went too far from the humble beginnings of a small town being drawn into dealings of organised crime that it's not ready for. Instead basically everyone's either a hardened badass or an butthole, except one genuinely nice small town dude and the mandatory cop character. The supernatural stuff was WAY better integrated into the story than previous seasons, but again that shit isn't really Fargo.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        They have to mix it up somehow, can't have the same story with different actors each year like its shakespear in the park

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      season 5 is woke garbage

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        I used to not have a problem with Jon Hamm at all but for some reason I’m getting really tired of seeing him in everything.

  30. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Most sinister
    Lorne Malvo

    >Most powerful
    VM Varga

    >Most cool
    Wrench and Numbers

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Wrench and Numbers were the most absolutely based duo in the entire show

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Wrench's return was goated and you can't change my mind. It felt so immensely satisfying in ways I can't describe.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Wrench’s return
        Holy shit so the seasons ARE connected somewhat? I thought I’d never seen him again after Malvo let him live

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Damn, sorry. Didn't mean to spoiler. The cats debagged but it doesn't matter, you'll still never see him coming until the second it happens. You obviously havn't even made it to season 2 if you don't get all seasons are connected tho.

          • 3 months ago
            Anonymous

            It’s all good bro, I’m asking for it by being in this thread. I just finished the first episode of season 2, seems like it’s gonna be a kino season just like 1. I don’t think any character will live up to Billy Bob Thornton in season 1 for me

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        It felt like in a DnD game when I don't want my friends girlfriends character to die when she naively jumps into a bad situation (she nice) so I bring back one of my old characters as an NPC to help her out.

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Love the soundtrack in this show

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        agreed. I rewatched S1 S2 S3 just recently and was listening to the music a lot. here are some other tracks I really like

        >Bemidji, MN (Main theme from S1)

        hard to beat this

        >Malvo's theme

        very slow, methodical. I love the melody of the double bass (??) there in the beginning. kinda cat and mouse, creeping along.

        >Lester as Malvo

        similar to above, different melodies

        >Cymande - Getting It Back

        ok let's be real Mike Milligan was pretty cool too. I remember first hearing this song and immediately wanting to play it on my bass.

        >Varga

        a bit over the top, yet also controlled - as this is how Varga appears to be.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Adding the ones from season 1 into my sleep playlist, thanks for posting these.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          not your blog btw

          milligan was terrible, completely useless character, smug as frick for no reason

  31. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Alright boys, Mike vs Lorne vs Pawnee vs Omar. Whose the top neo-gunslinger?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Not Omar, he relied entirely on fear which wouldn't phase those three.

      Assuming they all knew about each other I'd say Mike since he has CIA technology and an army of disposable henchmen. Lorne and Pawnee would likely decide its not worth the effort and peace out.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Pawnee was pretty OP he'd beat Lorne and Mike with his magic

  32. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I act just like Dwayne McLaren from Cut Bank. Still waiting on my freaking parcel.

  33. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    I made the thread homosexual here’s my dog

  34. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Every social interaction

  35. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    looks like a turd

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