>To be all-powerful god of this local galaxy group >Will think about second wish if I need it. Maybe give myself confidence or some shit >Free genie after second wish
I dont know why atheists are so butt hurt about god. Being competent in scripture does more for me than a straight moron who cant read a book or acknowledge what they are reading.
>you wish to be rich >genie shows you your new birth certificate with your first name now being Rich, totally immune to inflation and possibly accepted in every nation
Dodders around his first year and then $NOTPENCE_EVANGELICAL_NO_ONE_LIKES takes power instead
He gets cancelled in 2018 for old racial-impression comedy he used to do
The turkey's a little dry
Truth hurts: RWilliams got out at the optimal time to keep a positive reputation before the culture war went nuclear, Trump's a bad McDonald's burger or two away from a heart attack at his weight and age, and monkey's paw genies (or pure-at-heart genies who know an anon is making a wish) just aren't gonna prioritize giving you perfectly fresh sandwiches, even if you constrain them from maximal bullshit they could achieve.
>Good star wars sequels
You get an IMAX re-release of the originals, with 5 minutes of unreleased bonus scenes that add nothing but still are pleasant
>A qt girlfriend with a big dick
He creates one, but he can't make her love you, so she's not your gf, but the GF of a much hotter man whom genie also creates. The QT sees you and rejects you on sight
>The ability to turn water into cocaine
The power works on contiguous bodies of waters. It works great until you accidentally use it on ocean-connected water. Humanity is destroyed within several days due to total climactic destruction and heat. Worms, however, survive the cataclysmic destruction of mankind and the death of most life on earth not near small watering holes, and grow large to be able to efficiently metabolize the drug invested hellscape that remains. Several million years pass.
Frank Herbert, in a distant time and place, feels an itching behind the ears. Perhaps he's got some work to do
I wouldn't be buying ,ad shot like Misa just a house and a good car and a pimp PC rig and shit. I wouldn't be buying farms or Businesses or 1000 ps5s or anyhing
I've figured out the workaround for this.
1st Wish
Magic Wallet/Card. Always has the amount you need at any given moment for any given situation.
2nd Wish
Immunity for myself, family and direct descendants from the IRS or any other similar organizations
3rd Wish
Paladin Powers. There is too much evil and wickedness in this world that needs smiting.
Anon he has literal infinite cash and of no specific currency, it is nebulous cash and thus can potentially be infinite cash in any needed amount of currency. Inflation would be anon's b***h while everyone else has to figure out how to pay 52 billion dollars for a crust of bread.
When the Fed printed $8 trillion in covid stimulus, we "only" saw a combined inflation of 40%. Anon could become a trillionaire while still avoiding a complete collapse of the currencies value
>Anon could become a trillionaire while still avoiding a complete collapse of the currencies value
Why would anyone need to be a trillionaire? One million isn't that much but a billion is more than you need. Trillion is if you want to buy a country or something.
We make white people honorary black people problem solved
Can we make black people honorary ayrans . Just to f*** with them they won't know what to think
Independently wealthy
Well spoken
For my gf to go up 2 cup sizes, so that she'd be a b cup
>Independently wealthy
You become immensely wealthy in a new currency completely decoupled from all other economic markets >Well spoken
You may retreive water from any bespoked wheel >For my gf to go up 2 cup sizes, so that she'd be a b cup
your girlfriend starts drinking extremely large cups of coffee
>Unlimited wealth,
All the wealth in the world now belongs to you. You'll have to do the part of convincing people to hand over your stuff to you yourself though >super powers
Your Super power is to be able to teleport into india, but only on friday the 13th >sex appeal that made women uncontrollable toward me and only me
You are now a dog
1:Immortality
2:For me to live on an exact replica of earth in a distant galaxy far away thats devoid of people and the infrastructure to be maintained by robots along with internet access to the orignial earth.
3.Sex robots
>Immortality
Great Job. Now, even after all life in the universe has died, and even the last black holes have vanished after an unfathomably large amount of time, you will still exist for eternity, floating in nothingness forever, fully concious
>Great Job. Now, even after all life in the universe has died, and even the last black holes have vanished after an unfathomably large amount of time, you will still exist for eternity, floating in nothingness forever, fully concious >Expirencing an eternal black void >an empty black void similar to death
Its basically death, but whatever. a billion billion years to think of a solution between banging my sex robot.
What people don't consider in these scenarios is that despite the entirety of the universe being barren and at the lowest possible energy state, YOU and you alone keep inputting energy into the system by virtue of existing, emitting heat, moving, etc.
If you're immortal and at a cosmic scale, you could just bring forth a new universe after aeons by virtue of increasing the baseline energy of the universe to a breaking point. Or just use your local energy to build a tiny safe haven of "life" in this now barren reality.
>YOU and you alone keep inputting energy into the system by virtue of existing, emitting heat, moving, etc.
That's just the shittier form of immortality-death possible though - no one's idea of how they want to spend infinite life is >curled up into a fetal position of coagulated infinitely hot mass until you've shed enough skin and hair cells to sous vide a new universe into existence.
you should go back and reread my wish. the only thing tlid have to adjust is the immortality with decaying flesh.
the rest is handled because im on a different earth maintained by robots with fast internet to the original earth. also this copy earth has no humans. so no one trapping me at the bottom of the ocean.
really, besides that one adjustment. I should have asked to be am all powerful socerer somewhere in those lines. speed up the research process.
6 months ago
Anonymous
>speed up the research process
then again, id have access to the a.i and its development back on earth. so thers that. my bases are 99%covered.
6 months ago
Anonymous
Your original wish is worse >1:Immortality
see the deaths.
>2:For me to live on an exact replica of earth in a distant galaxy far away thats devoid of people and the infrastructure to be maintained by robots along with internet access to the orignial earth. >3: sex robots
same problem as Earth. Asimov read your mind decades earlier in his famous short story and found it smooth and without useful wrinkling: >What I say is that a sun won't last forever. That's all I'm saying. We're safe for ten billion years, but then what?" Lupow pointed a slightly shaky finger at the other. "And don't say we'll switch to another sun." >There was silence for a while. Adell put his glass to his lips only occasionally, and Lupov's eyes slowly closed. They rested. >Then Lupov's eyes snapped open. "You're thinking we'll switch to another sun when ours is done, aren't you?" >"I'm not thinking." >"Sure you are. You're weak on logic, that's the trouble with you. You're like the guy in the story who was caught in a sudden shower and who ran to a grove of trees and got under one. He wasn't worried, you see, because he figured when one tree got wet through, he would just get under another one." >"I get it," said Adell. "Don't shout. When the sun is done, the other stars will be gone, too." >"Darn right they will," muttered Lupov. "It all had a beginning in the original cosmic explosion, whatever that was, and it'll all have an end when all the stars run down. Some run down faster than others. Hell, the giants won't last a hundred million years. The sun will last ten billion years and maybe the dwarfs will last two hundred billion for all the good they are. But just give us a trillion years and everything will be dark. Entropy has to increase to maximum, that's all."
6 months ago
Anonymous
>see the deaths
yeah, youre not listening or looking at the resources id have access too.
fine.
immortality with eternal youth and a kill switch.
6 months ago
Anonymous
>immortality with eternal youth and a kill switch.
Depending on your genie, that's 3 different wishes, he's in a REAL generous mood if he approves that as "one wish" - you're still >at extremely serious risk of obsolescence if you ever wanted to go back to earth
and, albeit with a killswitch that MIGHT let you bow out >will suffer disassembly preceding forced killswitching if you sustain any serious injuries in your "eternal youth" >will suffer confinement if you're eternally young and happen to die under a collapsed building or someone ties a cinderblock to your foot and throws you into the sea or you're crushed by a falling rock or in a cave >will suffer drifting if you live until that galaxy's star gives up too.
Point being, at that point you're not getting immortality, you're just getting immunity from aging for the 300-10,000 years it'll take before something unlucky and unexpected happens and your number's up for a "one in a thousand lifetimes" frickup to take you out.
Know which stocks to invest in to make the most money. This takes into account how much money I’m making, which means I will also know when to sell to avoid bubbles bursting.
And to prevent me from getting SEC violations or inquiries, I would only be given knowledge on stocks in the NASDAQ.
I would not make another wish for another ten to twenty years, depending on how this first strategy plays out.
> 1. Be a woman
The Genie allows you to change your pronoun to 'female' but performs no alterations to you
> 2. Be a hot woman
The Genie reaffirms that you can label yourself with a female pronoun and sets you on fire.
> 3. Get railed like a train every night by BBC
Every night you will be teleported to a train track where a train carrying members of the British Broadcast Company runs you over repeatedly until morning. This repeats forever.
Thank you for your service against these BBCs poster homosexuals are trying to brainwash gullible anons
>just outpeform the army of eggheads on wall street who use incredibly sophisticated algos to read through a thousand 13F filings at once and pricing in any changes within 1 minute of them being released bro
>To be all-powerful god of this local galaxy group >Will think about second wish if I need it. Maybe give myself confidence or some shit >Free genie after second wish
1:Immortality
2:For me to live on an exact replica of earth in a distant galaxy far away thats devoid of people and the infrastructure to be maintained by robots along with internet access to the orignial earth.
3.Sex robots
based on what we can presume is possible from the events of the movie >to be the most powerful sorcerer possible (which is clearly a technically superior wish to Jafar's, since he only asked to be 'the most powerful sorcerer in the world', meaning other individuals could wish to exceed him later. Better to wish for the greatest amount of power that the genie is capable of providing >immortality >that no magic of any kind, other than my own, is capable of affecting me or my wishes
gg ez, I am now a living god until the end of time
Following the rules of the film: >A sixth sense allowing me to comprehend what to say to make people happy when they're sad >The ability to turn garbage into money and vice versa >Free the genie
Ok here's my real ones >the ability to transform my right hand into any power tool, and for it to function despite lack of realistic leverage, weight tolerance, physics >a book with every magical spell from any piece of fiction >free the genie
I feel like there's several spells in fiction that would make your first wish redundant. Should've made a wish to make sure you can actually wield the magic rather than just read it.
I like the permanence of the transmogrifiable arm, like it functions separately. Also yes I messed up describing the book. >ok here's a giant wikipedia article describing every spell you idiot
Probably some gay shit like turning the upper classes wealth into worthless trash. He wasted a whole wish on being the world's best therapist, he sounds like a total gay.
Probably some gay shit like turning the upper classes wealth into worthless trash. He wasted a whole wish on being the world's best therapist, he sounds like a total gay.
Too much of a pussy to even quote my post? You're beyond therapy you loser.
Why would you need anybody but Superman? He's stronger than Goku or Saitama and fast enough to time travel. What would having the speed force realistically add to his aresenal when he can already run through time or reboot the whole multiverse by punching it?
Any time I use a wish the wish no longer is "used" or "lost" as the wish remains to be used again. This doesn't go against the rule of "wishing for more wishes."
>Maxwell's notebook >the ability to sequester my multiverse from other multiverses like Rick Sanchez or Kang so they don't ruin my fun >Immutability from other wishes (might play into the first wish)
Maxwell's notebook would be a lot of fun! I'd definitely have to create a pocket universe just for the book though because I'd be paranoid about it getting stolen.
Yeah nobody asked this avatargayging moron for his 2 cents and now he's scared everyone off. This wasn't a monkey paw thread, too bad he's the only one still bumping it.
1st wish: completely stop aging so I can live indefinitely in good health
2nd wish: infinite/instant garden
Last wish: I wish I had two more wishes
And I wish they fixed the door to the matrix there's mad glitches. Spit so many verses sometimes my jaw twitches
One thing this party could use is more booze.
Dr Manhattan powers without the time emo element
My own asa butterfield
Women develop a mutation where they explode if they act like c**ts or try to seize power
-God-like abilities. Never dying, infinite wealth, total control of all space and time and what lies inside of it. Creation and destruction at my fingertips
-I'm a 7'5 Baron of Hell in the style of DOOM 1993, but I have the ability to change back to my former self
-Pass
> 1. Be a woman
The Genie allows you to change your pronoun to 'female' but performs no alterations to you
> 2. Be a hot woman
The Genie reaffirms that you can label yourself with a female pronoun and sets you on fire.
> 3. Get railed like a train every night by BBC
Every night you will be teleported to a train track where a train carrying members of the British Broadcast Company runs you over repeatedly until morning. This repeats forever.
Before I answer your question, I'd like to tell you about the Lepturians. The Lepturians are immortal organisms that can morph into any shape, down to the atomic level, and hold that shape indefinitely without any effort. The Leptanians can summon, with very little expense of energy, any object that can be conceived, regardless of it's complexity. They emit a pheromone that is similar to catnip in it's effect on humans, they can fly, teleport and travel through time.
For my first wish I want you to grant me all of the attributes of a Lepturian. I'll keep the second and third wish, should I need them.
>To be the most powerful wizard in the universe.
you're jafarr'd into a genie of a lamp now
>No one can ever be more powerful then me.
you get moved to a different universe in which you are the only living being, to avoid contradiction when other morons make the universe wish.
>for the genie to be free
Genie is happy he's free. You drift through a white void, awaiting someone to rub your lamp and ease your aching back. Succor will never come though - perhaps in infinite eons, after infinite universes have risen and collapsed on themselves, someone will make a foolish multiversal lamp related joke and pull you from the aether. Probably not though.
Id wish for Anna Nicole Smith, and I know the genie can't bring her back to life, Id just want her body and then Id have sex with it in front of the genie.
for my second wish, Id wish to be in NY on 9/11 2001. I wouldn't do anything to help people, Id just want to watch it all happen live.
For my third wish, Id ask for 7-up gum, it was this gum with like soda fizz or something inside, it's old was discontinued years ago, sounds neat, want try it.
I would make a deal with Goldman Sachs to borrow a tax-free lien, using my wishes as collateral. The money would be funnelled through a shell corporation in the Cayman Islands. I'd have riches beyond my wildest dreams and I wouldn't have to give up my wishes.
wish for infinite wishes
can't? i wish that i could
wish for infinite wishes
wish for 1:1 thought to wish execution, absolutely no lag between wishes
(i dont want to see a poof or a spark or a flash i dont want to hear a woosh or a fricking boink)
(i want to be able to manipulate reality on w whim so i would essentially be in a uninverse of my own thoughts and probably go mad)
If I can't have infinite wishes and can't make people fall in love with me >1: the ability to control all of the money, capital, and shares in the world >2: to know how to be at peace with myself and existence >3: free the genie
>You can have anything in the universe >You waste that opportunity to squabble with semitic desert people
It's pretty hard to come up with wishes lower IQ and lame than that
When you can literally wish yourself to be God, or wish your religion and its end-times true and non-metaphorically happening LITERALLY right now, or can pretty much wish away whatever dumb societal ails you'd blame on israelites away, from all societies and forever after?
Seems like an awful waste of a wish to even think about them, it's like being given a million dollars and only using it to buy toothpaste or something - a severe failure of the imagination.
>the ability to never shit or piss >the ability to be a supper hero with all the powers >free the jeenie but he has to be my sex slave for the rest of my life.
> Cinemaphile related
Giant budget Non woke Batfleck series hyper faithfully adapting TAS Mr Freeze (keeping him 100% sympatheitc), Court of Owls & a Poison Ivy arc starring Deborah Ann Woll. Bring back the BVS Batsuit.
> Cinemaphile & /hc/ related
Ongoing porn series starring...
- Hayley Atwell
- Antje Traue
- Katee Sackhoff
- Jessica Chastain
- Kat Dennings
- Lola Naymark
- Vica Kerekes
- Meagan Good
- Chloe Bennet
Among others...
> /misc/ related
The current government of China peacefully desolves like the Soviet Union & becomes a democratic ally of the US.
>Can't wish for death >Can't wish for love >Can't wish to ressurect people >Can't wish to undo the past >Can't make wishes that break the laws of physics
I wish to have the ability of modifying my own body anytime, anywhere, respecting the laws of thermodynamics.
I wish to increase the IQ of every person on the planet by 20 points.
I wish to free the genie.
If I have the power of becoming fricking godzilla in less than a second then theres probably some homie out there that wished he was god. Then it all becomes pointless
Absolute control over all time and space
Absolute control over all human fertility, conception, pregnancy and births
If genie grants the above two wishes properly, he's free. If not, the third wish fixes whatever mess he makes.
>perfect physical health for me and my entire bloodline >phenomenal artistic skills >Free food at all kinoplexes that disappears if it touches the ground or leaves the premises before consumption
I wish for every person currently living on the planet to be immortal, for all resources to be renewable at 100% efficiency, and for the genie to be free. I fold my hands together and grin knowing full well what I'm doing.
1: my penis to be large enough to negatively affect my life
2: all ducks become geese and vice versa
3: be able to fool Penn & Teller on their hit TV show Penn & Teller: Fool Us
>I can only die by killing myself >A death aura ability where I turn it on and everyone within a mile of me dies instantly >A pocket dimension where time moves 500x as slow
Why would you waste a wish on freeing the genie? You don't even know if he wants to be free. Have you considered that he has his own dimension in there and he has everything he wants?
Isn't it the rule that the Genie can't grant stuff for himself
And I don't think he has a good time, 'phenomenal cosmic power, itty bitty living space' and all that
So you're just guessing. I think you should ask the genie if he wants to be free before freeing him. It's an extremely Reddit tier attempt at virtue signalling, in my opinion.
A little more BAKLAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
My first wish would be to wake up on a certain date in the past with the world having certain circumstances, including the outcome of my life, so I can get as much as possible from one wish.
Two of those are reasonable, but why do you want to stop time? Nevermind, I think I understand why. Personally, I'd just wish to be rich and save the other wishes. Maybe I'll need to bring someone back to life or something.
if every morning when the alarm goes i could stop time and sleep for another six hours and then unstop time to be fully relaxed and rested early in the morning i would honestly not even need the wealth or the dick
I don't really understand. If you're rich, you can sleep as much as you want. Why would you need to stop time? I'm guessing you need to wake up early to go to work, but if you had money, you could just sleep.
1. Give me Speedster powers including immunities so I could actually use them
2. Make me immune to all diseases
3. Give me a Tardis and the necessary knowledge and powers to use it.
>Wallet that contains 10 bills of the highest denomination of currency of whatever country I currently reside ìn
>Ability to read,speak,and comprehend any language at the fluency level of an expert at that language
>Magical ring that when worn grants the ability to permanently my physical form to match that of the person I am directly looking at if I tap it rapidly 5 times while looking at them. The ring will automatically fit the ring finger of whatever form I assume and I will immediately revert to original appearance if the ring is removed
Tried to make some foolproof ones.Tell me how I fricked up
Perfect health free from any debilitating illnesses or disabilities for the rest of my life
1 trillion pounds/dollars (that no one else knows about)
The ability to control (and reverse) ageing
1. Magic exists, so gods exist, so probably does eternal hells and heavens. Why fail such a basic morality test? Knowing magic exists is enough for me.
2. Why make enemies with a demigod, and not some sort of friend instead?
>I wish that this wish and all my future wishes go the way I imagine them going >I wish I had the power to win the lottery anytime I wanted >I wishb I could go in and out of movies/tv shows where I could make myself a character with powers and abilities from that universe and can even bring back those powers and technology to this world
for the Abrahamic God to be real.
>God
>Granted
>nothing happens
>Genie: I'm atheist
I dont know why atheists are so butt hurt about god. Being competent in scripture does more for me than a straight moron who cant read a book or acknowledge what they are reading.
doesn’t make any sense, the wish would make the genie not atheist
>god kills genie
>god: now you have unlimited wishes my child inshallah
>wish to be rich
>nothing happens
>genie: i believe you're poor
>you wish to be rich
>genie shows you your new birth certificate with your first name now being Rich, totally immune to inflation and possibly accepted in every nation
>I can’t grant a wish for something that is already the case
Trump 2024
Robin Williams never commits suicide.
A turkey sandwich.
Dodders around his first year and then $NOTPENCE_EVANGELICAL_NO_ONE_LIKES takes power instead
He gets cancelled in 2018 for old racial-impression comedy he used to do
The turkey's a little dry
Reddit post. Sad
Truth hurts: RWilliams got out at the optimal time to keep a positive reputation before the culture war went nuclear, Trump's a bad McDonald's burger or two away from a heart attack at his weight and age, and monkey's paw genies (or pure-at-heart genies who know an anon is making a wish) just aren't gonna prioritize giving you perfectly fresh sandwiches, even if you constrain them from maximal bullshit they could achieve.
that last part is headcanon and I'll have you tried in genie court for this
Why would he have Pence as a VP again? He's a narcissist that only supports people that kiss his ass.
>A turkey sandwich
You get a zombie turkey, you turn into a turkey yourself and you get other weird surprises. Also the turkey's a little dry.
The ability to turn water into cocaine
A qt girlfriend with a big dick
Good star wars sequels
>Good star wars sequels
You get an IMAX re-release of the originals, with 5 minutes of unreleased bonus scenes that add nothing but still are pleasant
>A qt girlfriend with a big dick
He creates one, but he can't make her love you, so she's not your gf, but the GF of a much hotter man whom genie also creates. The QT sees you and rejects you on sight
>The ability to turn water into cocaine
The power works on contiguous bodies of waters. It works great until you accidentally use it on ocean-connected water. Humanity is destroyed within several days due to total climactic destruction and heat. Worms, however, survive the cataclysmic destruction of mankind and the death of most life on earth not near small watering holes, and grow large to be able to efficiently metabolize the drug invested hellscape that remains. Several million years pass.
Frank Herbert, in a distant time and place, feels an itching behind the ears. Perhaps he's got some work to do
making deals with djinns is haram inshallah
Proper Rome season 2
Infinite cash
Perfect health at all times
>Infinite cash
Then inflation turns your sudden wealth into nothing
Not if I had all the money
infinite cash just for him
there is literally no reason to believe he would spoil the market
Surely one man spending seemingly infinite amounts of money couldn't devalue it
I wouldn't be buying ,ad shot like Misa just a house and a good car and a pimp PC rig and shit. I wouldn't be buying farms or Businesses or 1000 ps5s or anyhing
Then you don't want infinite money, because you say that you only want those few things, but you'd buy them all, and still have infinite money.
You must be ESL.
It takes one to know one.
Not really
>infinite cash
>inflation
>still has infinite cash
Yeah chief not really sure how inflation could ever negatively affect someone in this situation
I've figured out the workaround for this.
1st Wish
Magic Wallet/Card. Always has the amount you need at any given moment for any given situation.
2nd Wish
Immunity for myself, family and direct descendants from the IRS or any other similar organizations
3rd Wish
Paladin Powers. There is too much evil and wickedness in this world that needs smiting.
jews have infinite cash
Anon he has literal infinite cash and of no specific currency, it is nebulous cash and thus can potentially be infinite cash in any needed amount of currency. Inflation would be anon's b***h while everyone else has to figure out how to pay 52 billion dollars for a crust of bread.
When the Fed printed $8 trillion in covid stimulus, we "only" saw a combined inflation of 40%. Anon could become a trillionaire while still avoiding a complete collapse of the currencies value
>Anon could become a trillionaire while still avoiding a complete collapse of the currencies value
Why would anyone need to be a trillionaire? One million isn't that much but a billion is more than you need. Trillion is if you want to buy a country or something.
>Why would anyone need to be a trillionaire?
Yeah, why would anyone want enough money to have an impact on how the world develops
>infinite cash
your pockets erupt into an infinitely large singularity, collapsing the universe into a single point
the ability to wish for infinite wishes
infinite wishes
>not wishing for more djinnis
you can't. it's one of the rules.
Pretty sure the rules are just
1. You cant wish to kill people
2. You cant wish to love people
3. You cant wish to ressurect people
>Wish to love somebody
Do you mean be loved by somebody? Why wouldn't you be able to wish for your own emotions to be changed willingly
feed
sneed
chuck
>triple debt for single mothers
>double dumb student debt
>3x dog lifespan
No White people
wypipo*
We need someone who can keep up the infrastructure and tech support
We make white people honorary black people problem solved
Can we make black people honorary ayrans . Just to f*** with them they won't know what to think
Wish granted. Anything else master?
Yeah okay, bring them back. And for my third wish I want you to increase my IQ from 80 to 110
becoming an omnipotent immortal god
Independently wealthy
Well spoken
For my gf to go up 2 cup sizes, so that she'd be a b cup
Oh wait, if this is one of those "genie is a dick" things then I'll just not wish for anything. Too much trouble.
>Independently wealthy
You become immensely wealthy in a new currency completely decoupled from all other economic markets
>Well spoken
You may retreive water from any bespoked wheel
>For my gf to go up 2 cup sizes, so that she'd be a b cup
your girlfriend starts drinking extremely large cups of coffee
It's Robin William's Genie, not the Wishmaster Djinn.
If it was him, I'd only wish for him to bother somebody else
For the genie to share moral values, and for the wicked to suffer and die.
Sex
Sexual powers
More sex
Unlimited wealth, super powers, and sex appeal that made women uncontrollable toward me and only me.
>Unlimited wealth,
All the wealth in the world now belongs to you. You'll have to do the part of convincing people to hand over your stuff to you yourself though
>super powers
Your Super power is to be able to teleport into india, but only on friday the 13th
>sex appeal that made women uncontrollable toward me and only me
You are now a dog
>Immortality
Great Job. Now, even after all life in the universe has died, and even the last black holes have vanished after an unfathomably large amount of time, you will still exist for eternity, floating in nothingness forever, fully concious
>Great Job. Now, even after all life in the universe has died, and even the last black holes have vanished after an unfathomably large amount of time, you will still exist for eternity, floating in nothingness forever, fully concious
>Expirencing an eternal black void
>an empty black void similar to death
Its basically death, but whatever. a billion billion years to think of a solution between banging my sex robot.
Anon uses his sheer willpower to create a new universe out of nothing
What people don't consider in these scenarios is that despite the entirety of the universe being barren and at the lowest possible energy state, YOU and you alone keep inputting energy into the system by virtue of existing, emitting heat, moving, etc.
If you're immortal and at a cosmic scale, you could just bring forth a new universe after aeons by virtue of increasing the baseline energy of the universe to a breaking point. Or just use your local energy to build a tiny safe haven of "life" in this now barren reality.
>YOU and you alone keep inputting energy into the system by virtue of existing, emitting heat, moving, etc.
That's just the shittier form of immortality-death possible though - no one's idea of how they want to spend infinite life is
>curled up into a fetal position of coagulated infinitely hot mass until you've shed enough skin and hair cells to sous vide a new universe into existence.
you should go back and reread my wish. the only thing tlid have to adjust is the immortality with decaying flesh.
the rest is handled because im on a different earth maintained by robots with fast internet to the original earth. also this copy earth has no humans. so no one trapping me at the bottom of the ocean.
really, besides that one adjustment. I should have asked to be am all powerful socerer somewhere in those lines. speed up the research process.
>speed up the research process
then again, id have access to the a.i and its development back on earth. so thers that. my bases are 99%covered.
Your original wish is worse
>1:Immortality
see the deaths.
>2:For me to live on an exact replica of earth in a distant galaxy far away thats devoid of people and the infrastructure to be maintained by robots along with internet access to the orignial earth.
>3: sex robots
same problem as Earth. Asimov read your mind decades earlier in his famous short story and found it smooth and without useful wrinkling:
>What I say is that a sun won't last forever. That's all I'm saying. We're safe for ten billion years, but then what?" Lupow pointed a slightly shaky finger at the other. "And don't say we'll switch to another sun."
>There was silence for a while. Adell put his glass to his lips only occasionally, and Lupov's eyes slowly closed. They rested.
>Then Lupov's eyes snapped open. "You're thinking we'll switch to another sun when ours is done, aren't you?"
>"I'm not thinking."
>"Sure you are. You're weak on logic, that's the trouble with you. You're like the guy in the story who was caught in a sudden shower and who ran to a grove of trees and got under one. He wasn't worried, you see, because he figured when one tree got wet through, he would just get under another one."
>"I get it," said Adell. "Don't shout. When the sun is done, the other stars will be gone, too."
>"Darn right they will," muttered Lupov. "It all had a beginning in the original cosmic explosion, whatever that was, and it'll all have an end when all the stars run down. Some run down faster than others. Hell, the giants won't last a hundred million years. The sun will last ten billion years and maybe the dwarfs will last two hundred billion for all the good they are. But just give us a trillion years and everything will be dark. Entropy has to increase to maximum, that's all."
>see the deaths
yeah, youre not listening or looking at the resources id have access too.
fine.
immortality with eternal youth and a kill switch.
>immortality with eternal youth and a kill switch.
Depending on your genie, that's 3 different wishes, he's in a REAL generous mood if he approves that as "one wish" - you're still
>at extremely serious risk of obsolescence if you ever wanted to go back to earth
and, albeit with a killswitch that MIGHT let you bow out
>will suffer disassembly preceding forced killswitching if you sustain any serious injuries in your "eternal youth"
>will suffer confinement if you're eternally young and happen to die under a collapsed building or someone ties a cinderblock to your foot and throws you into the sea or you're crushed by a falling rock or in a cave
>will suffer drifting if you live until that galaxy's star gives up too.
Point being, at that point you're not getting immortality, you're just getting immunity from aging for the 300-10,000 years it'll take before something unlucky and unexpected happens and your number's up for a "one in a thousand lifetimes" frickup to take you out.
Know which stocks to invest in to make the most money. This takes into account how much money I’m making, which means I will also know when to sell to avoid bubbles bursting.
And to prevent me from getting SEC violations or inquiries, I would only be given knowledge on stocks in the NASDAQ.
I would not make another wish for another ten to twenty years, depending on how this first strategy plays out.
You know you can do that by analyzing financial statements, right?
How much have you made doing it?
Thank you for your service against these BBCs poster homosexuals are trying to brainwash gullible anons
>just outpeform the army of eggheads on wall street who use incredibly sophisticated algos to read through a thousand 13F filings at once and pricing in any changes within 1 minute of them being released bro
By far the worst attempt to copy Genie. Just watch the first 5 minutes to get the picture.
?feature=shared
>To be all-powerful god of this local galaxy group
>Will think about second wish if I need it. Maybe give myself confidence or some shit
>Free genie after second wish
1:Immortality
2:For me to live on an exact replica of earth in a distant galaxy far away thats devoid of people and the infrastructure to be maintained by robots along with internet access to the orignial earth.
3.Sex robots
Done but the robots interrupt you every 60 seconds with microtransactions and ads
Also they all give you Super AIDS
based on what we can presume is possible from the events of the movie
>to be the most powerful sorcerer possible (which is clearly a technically superior wish to Jafar's, since he only asked to be 'the most powerful sorcerer in the world', meaning other individuals could wish to exceed him later. Better to wish for the greatest amount of power that the genie is capable of providing
>immortality
>that no magic of any kind, other than my own, is capable of affecting me or my wishes
gg ez, I am now a living god until the end of time
Following the rules of the film:
>A sixth sense allowing me to comprehend what to say to make people happy when they're sad
>The ability to turn garbage into money and vice versa
>Free the genie
Ok here's my real ones
>the ability to transform my right hand into any power tool, and for it to function despite lack of realistic leverage, weight tolerance, physics
>a book with every magical spell from any piece of fiction
>free the genie
I feel like there's several spells in fiction that would make your first wish redundant. Should've made a wish to make sure you can actually wield the magic rather than just read it.
I like the permanence of the transmogrifiable arm, like it functions separately. Also yes I messed up describing the book.
>ok here's a giant wikipedia article describing every spell you idiot
Why would you wanna turn money into garbage?
Probably some gay shit like turning the upper classes wealth into worthless trash. He wasted a whole wish on being the world's best therapist, he sounds like a total gay.
To hide it
Too much of a pussy to even quote my post? You're beyond therapy you loser.
The hand takes a week to change shape
You get a fantasy encyopedia
The genie robs you and runs away with the book and all your left handed gloves
I'd wish for a world without zinc.
>Powers equivalent to maxed Goku x maxed Superman x maxed Flash + maxed Saitama
>The location of other genies
>Longevity of a Viltrumite
Why would you need anybody but Superman? He's stronger than Goku or Saitama and fast enough to time travel. What would having the speed force realistically add to his aresenal when he can already run through time or reboot the whole multiverse by punching it?
Any time I use a wish the wish no longer is "used" or "lost" as the wish remains to be used again. This doesn't go against the rule of "wishing for more wishes."
>Maxwell's notebook
>the ability to sequester my multiverse from other multiverses like Rick Sanchez or Kang so they don't ruin my fun
>Immutability from other wishes (might play into the first wish)
Maxwell's notebook would be a lot of fun! I'd definitely have to create a pocket universe just for the book though because I'd be paranoid about it getting stolen.
i would wish for genie to be free. slavery is wrong
Anyone else in this thread skipping right over all the "le bad tweest!" Posts? I am.
Yeah nobody asked this avatargayging moron for his 2 cents and now he's scared everyone off. This wasn't a monkey paw thread, too bad he's the only one still bumping it.
For Hadrian to have finished off thr Judean peoples
I don't need the other two
>I wish I could wish for infinite wishes
>I wish for infinite wishes
Two chicks, same time
zozzle
1st wish: completely stop aging so I can live indefinitely in good health
2nd wish: infinite/instant garden
Last wish: I wish I had two more wishes
And I wish they fixed the door to the matrix there's mad glitches. Spit so many verses sometimes my jaw twitches
One thing this party could use is more booze.
I wish I'd always be happy.
Don't need the other wishes
>I wish that robbin Williams was still alive
>I wish that robbin Williams was happy
>I wish that the holohoax was real
>First wish
Wish to free genie
the ability to wake up in 1990 any time I want as many times as I want, a 9 inch dick, and a credit card with infinite funds.
>I want to relive the gay new age hippie decade
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 6 4 impala
i would not make a wish, i would free the genie, because that's what no one did.
I'd only make one and that is for the Genie to be my +18 Fairy Godparent instead. No limit on wishes there. Really hot, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod!
>robin williams revived
>robin williams b***h ex wife sent straight to hell
>mrs doubtfire 2
Dr Manhattan powers without the time emo element
My own asa butterfield
Women develop a mutation where they explode if they act like c**ts or try to seize power
-God-like abilities. Never dying, infinite wealth, total control of all space and time and what lies inside of it. Creation and destruction at my fingertips
-I'm a 7'5 Baron of Hell in the style of DOOM 1993, but I have the ability to change back to my former self
-Pass
Is there any way to break the 3 rules?
Find a genie in a lamp and see for yourself.
For something to happen after I die. I don't want to return to the void.
I make no wishes BUT I do cum in the lamp a lot
1. Be a woman
2. Be a hot woman
3. Get railed like a train every night by BBC
> 1. Be a woman
The Genie allows you to change your pronoun to 'female' but performs no alterations to you
> 2. Be a hot woman
The Genie reaffirms that you can label yourself with a female pronoun and sets you on fire.
> 3. Get railed like a train every night by BBC
Every night you will be teleported to a train track where a train carrying members of the British Broadcast Company runs you over repeatedly until morning. This repeats forever.
TND
TKD
TTD
Before I answer your question, I'd like to tell you about the Lepturians. The Lepturians are immortal organisms that can morph into any shape, down to the atomic level, and hold that shape indefinitely without any effort. The Leptanians can summon, with very little expense of energy, any object that can be conceived, regardless of it's complexity. They emit a pheromone that is similar to catnip in it's effect on humans, they can fly, teleport and travel through time.
For my first wish I want you to grant me all of the attributes of a Lepturian. I'll keep the second and third wish, should I need them.
You poof out of existence as Lepturians are imaginary, so you become imaginary.
>I wish that no prison can confine me
>I wish to be an all-powerful genie
>I wish for your freedom
1. A death note
2. Immunity to the death note
3. An infinity supply of potato chips
No Black folk, no israelites and 10 million in my bank account.
>10 million in my bank account.
Sorry anon. There are no israelites so bank accounts don't exist anymore.
Remove all israelites from the planet
Remove all Black folk from the planet
Genie's freedom.
Enough money to have any show/movie I want to see made.
>Wish 1
To be the most powerful wizard in the universe.
>Wish 2
No one can ever be more powerful then me.
>Wish 3
For the genie to be free.
>To be the most powerful wizard in the universe.
you're jafarr'd into a genie of a lamp now
>No one can ever be more powerful then me.
you get moved to a different universe in which you are the only living being, to avoid contradiction when other morons make the universe wish.
>for the genie to be free
Genie is happy he's free. You drift through a white void, awaiting someone to rub your lamp and ease your aching back. Succor will never come though - perhaps in infinite eons, after infinite universes have risen and collapsed on themselves, someone will make a foolish multiversal lamp related joke and pull you from the aether. Probably not though.
Same wishes that I have. Are you me?
Based.
KEEP FRICKING
Id wish for Anna Nicole Smith, and I know the genie can't bring her back to life, Id just want her body and then Id have sex with it in front of the genie.
for my second wish, Id wish to be in NY on 9/11 2001. I wouldn't do anything to help people, Id just want to watch it all happen live.
For my third wish, Id ask for 7-up gum, it was this gum with like soda fizz or something inside, it's old was discontinued years ago, sounds neat, want try it.
1. I wish to never lose my hair
2. I wish for as many wishes as I have hairs on my head (not infinite wishes)
I would make a deal with Goldman Sachs to borrow a tax-free lien, using my wishes as collateral. The money would be funnelled through a shell corporation in the Cayman Islands. I'd have riches beyond my wildest dreams and I wouldn't have to give up my wishes.
No more Black folk
No more israelites
And I'll have a beer
>some sort of superpowers
Rolled it randomly, you got Dante
https://powerlisting.fandom.com/wiki/Demonic_Ranged_Weaponry
>post scarcity or something
Everybody around the world simultaneously loses all their stamps. Now post/postage is QUITE scarce.
>free
He says "thankee"
wish for infinite wishes
can't? i wish that i could
wish for infinite wishes
wish for 1:1 thought to wish execution, absolutely no lag between wishes
(i dont want to see a poof or a spark or a flash i dont want to hear a woosh or a fricking boink)
(i want to be able to manipulate reality on w whim so i would essentially be in a uninverse of my own thoughts and probably go mad)
If I can't have infinite wishes and can't make people fall in love with me
>1: the ability to control all of the money, capital, and shares in the world
>2: to know how to be at peace with myself and existence
>3: free the genie
Divine Immortality
Genie and I are BFF's forever
Genie is Free
He's not free if he's forced to like you homie
1. Invisible
2. Post-rape amnesia
3. 100% DNA kit failure
Bro youre getting raped so often you need genie magic to forget about it i feel bad for you
>ctrl+f
>"jews"
>4 results only
Seriously?
>You can have anything in the universe
>You waste that opportunity to squabble with semitic desert people
It's pretty hard to come up with wishes lower IQ and lame than that
Nice try, schlomo.
When you can literally wish yourself to be God, or wish your religion and its end-times true and non-metaphorically happening LITERALLY right now, or can pretty much wish away whatever dumb societal ails you'd blame on israelites away, from all societies and forever after?
Seems like an awful waste of a wish to even think about them, it's like being given a million dollars and only using it to buy toothpaste or something - a severe failure of the imagination.
>the ability to never shit or piss
>the ability to be a supper hero with all the powers
>free the jeenie but he has to be my sex slave for the rest of my life.
You didn't eliminate hunger or thirst so where's all that food or drink gonna go now? Enjoy dying of constipation and water poisoning in about a week
+50 IQ points for every human being
Unbreakable Immortal Body
all little girls love me and their mothers find this fact charming
To become a pretty girl
My first wish is for the hydrogen atom to have never existed
Thats it.
> Cinemaphile related
Giant budget Non woke Batfleck series hyper faithfully adapting TAS Mr Freeze (keeping him 100% sympatheitc), Court of Owls & a Poison Ivy arc starring Deborah Ann Woll. Bring back the BVS Batsuit.
> Cinemaphile & /hc/ related
Ongoing porn series starring...
- Hayley Atwell
- Antje Traue
- Katee Sackhoff
- Jessica Chastain
- Kat Dennings
- Lola Naymark
- Vica Kerekes
- Meagan Good
- Chloe Bennet
Among others...
> /misc/ related
The current government of China peacefully desolves like the Soviet Union & becomes a democratic ally of the US.
>Can't wish for death
>Can't wish for love
>Can't wish to ressurect people
>Can't wish to undo the past
>Can't make wishes that break the laws of physics
I wish to have the ability of modifying my own body anytime, anywhere, respecting the laws of thermodynamics.
I wish to increase the IQ of every person on the planet by 20 points.
I wish to free the genie.
>respecting the laws of thermodynamics
gay
If I have the power of becoming fricking godzilla in less than a second then theres probably some homie out there that wished he was god. Then it all becomes pointless
then wish you were a god that looked like godzilla, bruh. think bigger
I wish for 5,832 wishes.
>sausages like mother used to make
>to reunite with my friend ahmad
>for that butthole ahmad to be sent back to bagdad
Absolute control over all time and space
Absolute control over all human fertility, conception, pregnancy and births
If genie grants the above two wishes properly, he's free. If not, the third wish fixes whatever mess he makes.
Immortality for me
100 million dollars for me
all races except ethnic europeans reduced to only 10 000 people
You get 100 million Zimbabwe dollars
That's almost enough for a coffee
>all races except ethnic europeans reduced to only 10 000 people
This is a low IQ white person moment. Why would you reduce them to 10,000 instead of zero? Why couldn't they make it back to their current number?
Fix things with the way the back there were. Wipe out all involved never bother me again idiots
>perfect physical health for me and my entire bloodline
>phenomenal artistic skills
>Free food at all kinoplexes that disappears if it touches the ground or leaves the premises before consumption
>TND
>TKD
>TJD
1. all non-whites die
2. all homosexuals and trannies die
3. all liberals and sjws die
I wish for every person currently living on the planet to be immortal, for all resources to be renewable at 100% efficiency, and for the genie to be free. I fold my hands together and grin knowing full well what I'm doing.
1: my penis to be large enough to negatively affect my life
2: all ducks become geese and vice versa
3: be able to fool Penn & Teller on their hit TV show Penn & Teller: Fool Us
>I can only die by killing myself
>A death aura ability where I turn it on and everyone within a mile of me dies instantly
>A pocket dimension where time moves 500x as slow
1. Charisma and self-assuredness
2. For my dad to be healthy again
3. Free the genie
Why would you waste a wish on freeing the genie? You don't even know if he wants to be free. Have you considered that he has his own dimension in there and he has everything he wants?
Isn't it the rule that the Genie can't grant stuff for himself
And I don't think he has a good time, 'phenomenal cosmic power, itty bitty living space' and all that
>I don't think he has a good time
So you're just guessing. I think you should ask the genie if he wants to be free before freeing him. It's an extremely Reddit tier attempt at virtue signalling, in my opinion.
>infinate money
> go back in age ten years
> ?
1: Stop Yakub
2: Erase Tricknology
3: Revive mr. Floyd
A little more BAKLAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Make the Earth a positively charged magnet and the moon a negatively charged magnet.
My first wish would be to wake up on a certain date in the past with the world having certain circumstances, including the outcome of my life, so I can get as much as possible from one wish.
The other two I would keep as backup.
I wish to be able to fulfill all of my wishes by myself
(technically that's not asking for infinite wishes)
Done, you're now a genie trapped in a lamp too
Just like in the movie
No, I didn't wish to become a genie. And it's not a monkey's paw.
Sydney Sweeney's left titty
Sydney Sweeney's right titty
Sydney Sweeney's pussy
I want to be rich
I want the ability to start/stop time
I want my dick to be twice the current size
Two of those are reasonable, but why do you want to stop time? Nevermind, I think I understand why. Personally, I'd just wish to be rich and save the other wishes. Maybe I'll need to bring someone back to life or something.
if every morning when the alarm goes i could stop time and sleep for another six hours and then unstop time to be fully relaxed and rested early in the morning i would honestly not even need the wealth or the dick
I don't really understand. If you're rich, you can sleep as much as you want. Why would you need to stop time? I'm guessing you need to wake up early to go to work, but if you had money, you could just sleep.
to save time dumbass. time is the one thing money can't buy
For all the powers of a genie with none of the restrictions
that's pretty much it. if the genie is a total bro I'll wish for his freedom too.
>For all the powers of a genie with none of the restrictions
I think everyone gets that when they die. You'll be in a world identical to this one, but you can do anything you want in it.
i wish for free chechnya and a hot pastrami
keep the third wish so genie cant leave
1. Give me Speedster powers including immunities so I could actually use them
2. Make me immune to all diseases
3. Give me a Tardis and the necessary knowledge and powers to use it.
>Wallet that contains 10 bills of the highest denomination of currency of whatever country I currently reside ìn
>Ability to read,speak,and comprehend any language at the fluency level of an expert at that language
>Magical ring that when worn grants the ability to permanently my physical form to match that of the person I am directly looking at if I tap it rapidly 5 times while looking at them. The ring will automatically fit the ring finger of whatever form I assume and I will immediately revert to original appearance if the ring is removed
Tried to make some foolproof ones.Tell me how I fricked up
I wish for the power to fly
I wish for another genie
I wish that you're free now
Perfect health free from any debilitating illnesses or disabilities for the rest of my life
1 trillion pounds/dollars (that no one else knows about)
The ability to control (and reverse) ageing
>muslims gone
>Black folk gone (not the race, the state of mind)
>a glass of chocolate milk, light on the powder, metal straw
Free the genie. That's it.
1. Magic exists, so gods exist, so probably does eternal hells and heavens. Why fail such a basic morality test? Knowing magic exists is enough for me.
2. Why make enemies with a demigod, and not some sort of friend instead?
save / load system
a book that contains the answer to whatever question i ask
to go see my mother one last time ;(
replace every word in every language with Black person
immortality so I can laugh for eternity
free the genie
>Immortality
>Perfect health
>Ability to convince anyone to do anything
There you go. You are now a God
>gets nuked by a nation who has heard how you manipulate everyone
>your body either gets ejected into space or pummeled into the asthenosphere
I WISH I KNEW ANON ⩾_____⩽
OMnipresence (Everywhere)
OMnipotence (All-Powerful)
OMniscience (All-Knowing)
>I wish that this wish and all my future wishes go the way I imagine them going
>I wish I had the power to win the lottery anytime I wanted
>I wishb I could go in and out of movies/tv shows where I could make myself a character with powers and abilities from that universe and can even bring back those powers and technology to this world