what would she complain about you to Jerry about?
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what would she complain about you to Jerry about?
what would she complain about you to Jerry about?
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Shopping Cart Returner Shirt $21.68 |
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Penis too huge
frickin' a
about how i dont "do everything"
Is this sentence grammatically correct?
nah, I fricked it up. Just came out of the "i drank the vodka" thread. Sorry anon.
sensible chuckle
Yes, it's just awkward with a redundant preposition.
You're not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition and the 2nd "about" was redundant. It should have been "what about you would she complain to Jerry?"
that sounds odd too
What is it about you she would complain to Jerry about?
isn't that still ending in a preposition?
What would she complain to Jerry about you. Shrimple.
if someone asked me that question i'd feel like i was having a stroke.
What would she complain to Jerry about when they talked about you?
Y'all homies seem to think reducing word count is making your point clearer but it isn't.
Yeah, as much as I want there to be a cleaner way it seems best to give more detail. "After a date with you, what would she complain about to Jerry?" How would you go about checking these anyways? Hope I don't have to pay for Grammarly premium
Alright smart guy, how would you phrase it? Post a timestamp with your English degree too
>Shrimple
have a nice day
eat shit and die miserable frickwad
go back, homosexual
That's one "rule" of English up with which I will not put
What would she complain to Jerry about you
The most natural phrasing would be
>What part of your personality would she complain about to Jerry?
this post is giving off "ermm acshually" type vibes
>You're not supposed to
kys
Why would she complain about you to Jerry
No sponge at the pharmacy.
I have too much money and am too handsome.
something about Elaine's face when Kramer accuses George of being in love with her boyfriend is so fricking hot for some reason.
I LOVE israeliteS
My pet name for her vegana is Arby’s Night.
Ya know there's this autistic freak on the internet who had his batshit insane gross gf on his lap on a Youtube livestream and drunkenly said he likes her pussy cuz it smells like Wendy's burgers.
i drool a lot on accident. it's embarrassing
too cute
she was a size queen, right?
Puddy, the original girthmasterr
yeah that's right
based
i always wanted to know who that girl was and if she knew he was packing that shit beforehand
You got a question, you ask the 8” in girth
only gay men are size queens, sweatie
Where do people find these random stills?
keep trying to force her into an oven
Definitely the video games.
Getting gaped
She would complain that I always leave after having sex with her.
Somewhere I guess there's janitors that work for free and he won't stop talking about how much he hates them.
>Elaine: Yeah the date was great, but in the cab he wouldn't stop going on and on about racial crime statistics.
>Jerry: You don't say.
>Elaine: Yeah, and I was like, kind of okay with it you know? Handsome guy, rich, so what if he's a little racist, right?
>Jerry: Sure! A little racism never killed anybody. I'm israeli, so I can say that.
>Elaine: Yeah but, Jerry, he said "it."
>Jerry: It?
>Elaine: You know... "it." THE "it."
>Jerry: Oh.....
>Elaine: The N-Word.
>Jerry: The N-Word.
>Elaine: I mean, a guy can't just say the N-Word, can he?
>Jerry: Oh no, definitely not. He can say n-words, he can say nice, he can say nifty, he can say nuisance. But he can never say
>[The door to Jerry's apartment bursts open. Enter Kramer]
>Kramer: What's up, Black folk?
[Audience Applause]
>Jerry: A
Exquisite
Nice
>George and Jerry at the coffee shop
>Jerry: I heard you went out with Shaneequa.
>George: Sha-who?
>Jerry: Don't play coy with me, George, you know the girl who used to work at the cinema.
>George: Oh. Oh! Yes, I remember now, it's just...
>George looks around to check no one is listening, anticipation and smug excitement on his face.
>George: I don't call her that.
>Jerry takes a sip of his coffee and stares at George.
>Jerry: What do you mean, you don't call her that?
>George: When we're, you know, doing it, she wants me to call her .. ahem ...ya know?
>Jerry: No!
>George: Oh, yes. At first I was real uncomfortable about it, you know .. obviously! But then I had a chat with Kramer about it, and turns out it's quite common.
>Jerry: But it's .. that can't be alright.
>George: They love it Jerry, you wouldn't believe it!
>Jerry: I can't believe we're having this conversation.
>George: At first I could only use the light '-a', but once it got so intense that I used the hard '-r', and she went wild! In the good way!
>Jerry: This is so wrong.
>Enter Kramer
>Kramer: Good day Jerry. Ohh, how is we doin' today, massa George?
underrated
lmao
Bros, are you sponge worthy? Be honest.
>elaine: he won't shut up about your stupid hallway
>jerry: my hallway? he won't shut up about MY hallway? like outside my apartment?
>elaine: yeah! he keeps saying it's impossible, like spatially it doesn't add up.
>jerry: my hallway?
>elaine: he says it's non-euclidean.
>jerry: non-euclidean? now hold on, my hallway is *definitely* euclidean!
>elaine: I told him that! he says it's impossible for it to be the angle it is because spatially it should pass through where your kitchen is
>jerry: huh. you know, now that you mention it...
>*kramer enters*
>kramer: JERRY I NEED A PICKLE
is the pickle comment from Nirvanna The Band The Show?
actually, which one was kramer? I mean in the show - was it the israeli woman?
couldn't tell if Matthew Johnson doesn't like Seinfeld or something. from interviews he seems like a hater of a lot of kino
>Elaine and Jerry are sitting in Jerry's apartment, talking while Elaine is using Jerry's iPad
>there is a knock on the door, Jerry opens to find Newman standing there
>Newman: Hello, Jerry
>Jerry: Hello, Newman
>Newman: (looking worried) Jerry, you're not going to believe this but I need your help
>Jerry: Why, what is it?
>Newman: It's Kramer! He turned himself into a pickle. He's Pickle Kosmo!
>Elaine drops the iPad on the floor
>He kept going on about this seed and feed thing, and when I asked him to explain, he just said that it was a subtle joke about this guy named "Chuck". I think he's gay, Jerry.
>ext shot of coffee shop
>int. coffee shop
>elaine: and get this...he wasn't even hard!
>jerry: he wasn't even hard?
>elaine: nope
>jerry: i didn't even know we could do that
(studio laughter)
>elaine laughs
>jerry: not even a little bit hard?
>elaine: I mean...he was a *little* hard
(elaine raises her hand and holds her index and thumb close together in a pinching motion)
>elaine: but if he had told me it was his belt buckle I would have believed him
(elaine and jerry laugh)
(studio laughter)
kramer comes in and sits down at their table
>kramer: what's so funny?
>jerry: elaine had a date last night and...he "finished" before their clothes even came off
(studio laughter)
>kramer: oh so what? that happens to guys sometimes, it's happened to me!
>jerry: yes, but get this...he was soft
>kramer: oh so the guy wasn't a hardbody beefcake? come on, I have empathy for my fellow man, not everyone has a six pack
>jerry: no...he was (jerry makes quotation marks with his fingers) ""soft""
>kramer: (incredulously) WHEN HE FINISHED?
(studio laughter)
>kramer: I didn't even know we could do that
(loud studio laughter, bass riff, fade into commercial)
nice, very nice
Question for the anons here.
After you cum, do you keep jerking or do you just stop? Because i keep going and i cum over and over while soft mind you, seriously i can cum over 20 times after the initial splurt, i've even managed to jerk myself off to completion before getting the erection, only getting hard in the midst of ejaculating.
>i've even managed to jerk myself off to completion before getting the erection, only getting hard in the midst of ejaculating.
I've only managed something similar when I'm coked off my ass. My dick gets hard but won't stay hard, turns into a windsock but if I keep going long enough I'll nut even though I'm no where near hard. The fricked up thing is the orgasm feels several times more powerful like this than when I ejaculate normally.
>The fricked up thing is the orgasm feels several times more powerful like this than when I ejaculate normally.
I've noticed that as well, it's gotten to the point where i let it soften just a little before i go in for the kill.
As for my methods, persistence is the name of the game, and i always finish to a specific fictional character that i care for deeply. I'm uncut too, but i'm unsure if this is also a contributing factor.
I didn't even know we could do that.
This happens to me too, after I’ve cum the first time a lot of times my gf will suck me off when I’m soft which she likes a lot more than when I’m hard because she can actually fit the whole thing in her mouth comfortably so it’s always a very enthusiastic blowjob so I usually cum again from that before too long
I tend not to as there's cum almost running off the paper so I gotta focus on that. I too can prolong the cooming.
What would Elaine say if she were to complain about you to Jerry?
this thread just proves how many ESL people are on this board. hilarious!
Not ESL, just moron monolinguals
>what would she say about you to Jerry?
>what would she complain about you to Jerry?
>what would she complain to Jerry about you?
my fetish for farting on girls. real hard rank ones right on their face. blast em after I nut maybe give them a quick clit flick and upper inner wall rub to get them primed then BRAPPPPPP right when they cum. unironically makes you feel like a greek god except instead of tranforming into a duck to rape someone it's farting
My foreskin.
I unironically have a panty fetish, and it's for the high-leg bikini style that women wore in the 1990s. Would make for comedy fodder where Elaine gets the ick from me after grabbing a soda from the fridge in her skivvies and complains to Jerry about me.
"He had a thing for your panties?"
"For my panties, Jerry. For my panties! Ewww!"
>the ick
I think she'd complain about you being effeminate
I used a zoomer term despite being 36 years old, sue me.
what would i esl you to about jerry about?
>I paid for the food AND the hotel room, Jerry!
>Well, you liked him, didn't you? And the kid was a student, right?
>Well, yeah, and I was fine with that! I invited him and I paid without even asking!
>So what's the problem?
>He brought a laptop
>What, to the hotel?
>Yeah! He brought a laptop and gamepads, and then he sat me down on the floor there to play some ancient pixel mario shit with him!
>What, riggt out of the blue?
>Well, no... That had kind of veen the excuse for meeting up at a hotel. He said he wanted someone to play games with and the dorm didn't allow guests and... But I mean, who does that!?
>Well, did you win?
>NO! He didn't even let me win once! And then he mocked me for "being shit" at games!
I actually did this as a teenager. She was a 22 year old office worker.
>pic
Whomst?
Ribbit
I dub thee Chad eternal
>I’m telling you Jerry. I’ve never had analingus like this before. I’m ejaculating all over him. But then he tries to kiss me. I’m all for romance but no way I’m kissing a guy after his tongue was buried to the hilt in my rectum right?
>I dunno what happened, Jerry. Everything was going fine up until he whispered, "Frick that's a tight boypussy" in my ear.
i jack off to anime kids
I walked up and squeezed her boob going honka honka honka
that I wanted to watch her have sex with black men while I masterbated
>I used up all my sponges on this guy, the least he could do is save the last of his nachos for me!
>So you're seeing him again?
>I bought another case of sponges.
>he just took it out
Farting under the blankets and trapping her there then reciting Hitler speeches as she struggles futilely to escape.
>he just kept looking at them Jerry
ZAMN!
Is that the woman from Christmas Vacation?
Pros
Big dick
Cons
Out of shape so I get tired easily
Don't want to go out except for walk around the neighborhood/park
>he’s a Fast Cummer
Kramer becomes addicted to this new hip imageboard and spends most of his day on it
He only comes over to Jerry's to charge up his laptop
Jerry gets concerned about how long Kramer spends on that "stupid cartoon board" and tells him that "something has to change"
"You're right Jerry!"
Next day Kramer confesses he became a janitor on the imageboard
"It's great, Jerry, I knocked the application out of the park! I thought I was gonna have a lot of competition but they were practically BEGGING me to do it!"
"You became a janitor? On that site? Kramer, nothing's changed, you just monetized your addiction, can't you see?"
"Oh no no no Jerry, you got it all wrong, I'm not getting paid."
"No pay?"
"Nope." *mouth pop sound*
"So why..."
"Because it's not about the money! The past few weeks I've been trying to track down this one guy who keeps messing up the board with those inappropriate pictures I was talking about...." Kramer leans in on Jerry and lowers his voice
"Yeah, yeah, you told me..."
"Well, I almost got him Jerry! I will bring him to JUSTICE for the smut and filth he's spreading on MY board. With my new janitorial powers, I will have the means to find out who he is and stop him."
jumpcut to Newman sitting in his apartment in front of a laptop giggling, wearing a headset
"I'd like to see you try...... Janny"
audience laugh track
Newman would be much more fitting to be a janitor while Kramer hires an intern to solve the captchas for him.
>while Kramer hires an intern to solve the captchas for him.
That sounds like a George thing. Remember the IQ test episode?
Remember when Kramer literally hired an intern?
>He likes to... you know... watch.
>As in birds...?
>He likes to watch, Jerry. Watch.
>Watch...?
>*Elaine does a face*
>Oh. Oohhhhhhh.
Ugly, poor, live with my parents, cum too quickly, boring, incapable of being emotionally supportive. The worst romantic partner imaginable basically.
it seems like you love yourself
I don't. And neither would Elaine.
Imagine you were in the Seinfeld Cinematic Universe. Imagine still that you knew Elaine and she had a problem with you of some kind. Further imagine that she would complain about that topic with Jerry.
Please, for my own nefarious purposes, tell me the topic.
The fact that I want to circumcise her and cave her skull in with a hammer.
>The fact that I want to circumcise her and cave her skull in with a hammer.
Is that really necessary?
"He gaped me!"
>bend over
*SNIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFF*
>Oh that's gape alright
why, my peenus weanus of course 🙂
hahah! 😀
it's my weeeeeeenus peanus! 🙂 hahah
ITT: what would she complain about you to Jerry about? - my answer is, of course, my peanus weenus 😀
hahaha!
>He believes israelites are the Great Filter.
>An antisemite??
>All he wants to do is role play as a concentration camp officer