What would you do with a time-stopping watch?
Rule: you don't get old while time is stopped
What would you do with a time-stopping watch? Rule: you don't get old while time is stopped
What would you do with a time-stopping watch?
Rule: you don't get old while time is stopped
rape
Stop time.
Smash watch.
daring
Walk through a big fan
goon sesh
There was one episode where Bernard lost the watch and a man who found it used it to rob banks.
The Postman intervened and sent the evil doer to a "timeless place" which really frightened me at the time so I wouldn't be using the watch for anything nefarious.
Fricking hell, that adds a completely sinister dynamic to the situation. If you breach the moral code of your magical overseer, he sends you to hell. Bernard wasn’t in an envious position. He was a slave to the whims of a time warlock,
>oh you stole from the greedy banks who exploit people and who, if you stole from them, it wouldn't negatively impact the customers whatsoever?
>I'm sorry son...you must go to the timeless place for all eternity until your mind shatters into a million pieces...
It was a different, more trusting, and ethnically homogenous time, you anti-semite.
>black person
frick off
I'd take naps whenever I wanted.
How come anon seems so relaxed all the time?
Unironically, wherever I wanted, too. Imagine being able to take a nap under a tree just before sunset, knowing no person was going to come up on you, and no insects were going to crawl on or inside of you. It would be glorious.
Take a break from the world for a few years
>Rule: you don't get old while time is stopped
I wonder how long I’d spend in the timeless limbo if this was the case.
Not being able to interact with the rest of the world would pretty much limit what you would be able to do.
>Not being able to interact with the rest of the world
haha yeah imagine
Would be nice to take a break here and there to get some reading done.
go on a 3 year sabbatical every 20 minutes. as an aside would it give him enough time?
I can’t remember the rules of the show. Does absolutely everything stop? Could he use electrical appliances when time is stopped? Would water flow from a tap?
>Could he use electrical appliances when time is stopped? Would water flow from a tap?
No
Code?
On paper, only. Besides, would gravity work in the pen so you can write?
What is the implication for your imediate environment? If everthing else around you is frozen how do you breath, see, hear?
It's magic. You can breathe, see and hear. The rest of the world doesn't move
That is stupid. The rest of the world is where what you breath, see and hear comes from.
Shut up lol. You clearly aren’t educated in the field of quantum physics and time and parapsycholog, noob
If we want to get realistic about it, since being able to see requires light bouncing off objects and flying into our eyeballs, if you stopped time and stood still your would see nothing. Once you move your face forward, your eyes would pick up basically whatever still image was hanging in space, but only once, so you could only see that particular scene once per time stop.
I always confuse this thread with the Kazoo Kid or Cool Cat.
I'd become a superhero.
sex, revenge, vidya, sleep
I’d viscously rape every woman I see. I’d systemitize my approach so that every time, I start by ripping her clothes off, sucking her nipples until they’re swollen, and facefricking her until I’ve put a load in her throat. Then I’d frick her pussy until I’ve put three loads in that, and obviously a load in her ass too. I’d then get a safe distance and unfreeze time and watch her immediately start crying from the pain and humiliation. I’d create a reputation for myself such that the media reports on me, but only with male reporters because I’d rape any woman they put on air. I’d also make an effort to stalk old victims, wait until they’ve finally moved on and rekindled their reason to live, and then I’d do it all over again to them. I’d take great join waiting young impressionable, starry eyed women go from innocent to suicidal and psychotic because their throat, ass and pussy keep getting telefragged by my cum.
My goal would be to get the women of the world to accept that they’re all my sex toys. Some would fight back and conduct investigations or wear anti-rape guards in their pussies. Those people would get acid spread all over their face after being raped to the point of needing surgery. I’d leave little notes written with newspaper clippings to convey my commands. Anybody who fights back will pay by having every woman in their family raped and burned with acid. Rinse and repeat until I’m just an accepted part of nature, like cancer or tornados. I’d also make an effort to record everything I’m doing so that upon my death, I can post every rape and on the internet, presumably hundreds of thousands at that point. I would inevitably die of aids or something similar, and the sicker I got, the more likely I’d be to freeze time and infect every single person on the planet. I don’t age, so this could be a podcast and chill while you rape everybody on the planet kinda thing.
>My goal would be to get the women of the world to accept that they’re all my sex toys
lmao gay
I’d rape this guy to assert my dominance. I’d pluck out both of his eyes and skull frick him every year for gay pride month.
(Cont.) I’d also keep tabs on girls in my area who are about to turn 18. The day they become adults, I’d christen then my going to their rooms while they’re asleep, freezing time, and impregnating them with a syringe of my cum. The goal is would be to get them pregnant without them realizing. I’d especially do this in conservative areas because the chances of them getting an abortion against the better wishes of their entire family would be basically zero. I’d also communicate with convinced serial rapists in solitary confinement, and tell them to give me a syringe of their cum so I could do the same to their ex victims. I’d probably make a habit out of putting anal beads in Michelle Obama’ ass. Then when she’s trained to take something larger, I’d use a severed horse wiener or whatever else I could find that would fit.
i'd win jeopardy by pausing time for every question and then going to look up the answer
Could you put your body back into the exact same position when you paused? Otherwise you'd have a glitchy jumpcut to observers and freak out live TV
i just want to have 1 (one) witty comeback in my life, i am always too slow and it never happens, it's frustrating, so that's what i'd use it for.
also this show messed me up becaus i COULD NEVER FIGURE OUT THE RULES, like there was something he had to do with water so he stopped time and either it was that the tap couldn't pour water or it did pour water because time was stopped, other times he poured water manually or drank and it worked, but how could all that work when things are suspended in the air/don't fall like in that ladder episode
I'd turn the time on the watch back, just to see what would happen
When I was a kid at school I had this fantasy of stopping time, undressing everyone in my immediate vicinity, starting time for 1 second (just enough time for people to realise they're naked and everyone else is) and then I'd put all their clothes back on and see their reactions.
Would everyone think they're crazy? Would it lead to some mass hysteria event? Would people band together to be like "we were just naked right?"?
When I was in school I was usually either looking out the window or keeping my head down half asleep so I probably would only notice my own clothes missing for the second. I would be beyond paranoid and depressed learning that I missed seeing any qts naked because I was such a slacker.
>Unfreeze time
>Everybody was conscience the full time and remembers everything
>immediately refreeze time and spend the rest of eternity unable to confront your mistake
>freeze time
>kill myself, taking the whole universe with me
You fool, time is only "stopped" for you.
From outside your persepctive It would be like you disappeared and never reappeared.
what a horrific looking individual
I remember the one where he breaks it and gets given a temporary replacement that's just an alarm clock which goes off whenever something bad is about to happen but he can't do anything to actually prevent the bad thing so all it does is frick with his head.
I forget what the moral of that one was. carpe diem?
sex with ghosts.
It would honestly freak me out too much to use it.
I might use it to relive my childhood adventures of fapping outside, but probably not more than once or twice a week.
>you don't get old while time is stopped
I'd spend days thinking about everything. Even in a casual conversation I'd stop between sentences to go to the library and research everything. Everyone would think I'm the smartest guy on Earth, but really I've just got more time to think.
>I’d go to the library and learn anything releavnt to any conversation I’m in
I mean you can kinda already do that. You can be in a community in which you’re knowledgeable and known for your familiarity with a topic because you’re well read. You’re basically just describing what it’s like to have a grad degree.
Yeah, but I can't pause a conversation to research the specific niche thing someone else just brought up. If you could do that you would be able to converse on every topic as if you had a grad degree in everything.
Like imagine your PHD is in quantum cosmology and you're talking to a guy with a PHD in cellular biology when he mentions the latest research on ion channels. You can pause time, go read all the relevant journals, then unpause. You now understand what he's talking about.
I'd use it for sleep only
Id use it when I sleep to minimize time lost. Anytime I didn’t know the answer to something that I need to know for life, I’d go spend a few hours reading about it. Whenever I’m in a stressful social situation, I’d spend ample time thinking of what to say so that I come off as witty and sharp. Basically, I wouldn’t be a super hero, but at least I wouldn’t be a sociopath like all the guys saying they’d go on rape sprees.
>stop the watch
>enter a church
>sit on the big seat
>start time
>pronounce yourself as St. Bernard
go to subway and make the ultimate sandwich
I'd want to use it for perverted things but I'd probably be too scared the watch would unpause or it'd be a test and I'd be punished, so I'd use the watch for productivity initially:
>reading
>sleeping
>minor time-consuming things like getting dressed, eating (assuming the physics of that work in stopped-time)
>exercise
>crafts (no mechanical tools could be used though)
It would only be a matter of time until I give in to my immoral temptations though.
what kind of immoral temptations we talking about though. like stealing a cookie here or there?
Stealing some cookie? You could say that.
aint no shame in cookie stealing once in a blue moon I reckon.
i would pause the time and remove the teeth of people i do not like, then force them to swallow them.
>buy lottery ticket
>stop time
>manipulate ball machine to draw one of my numbers
>start time
>repeat for all numbers
Fricking EZ.
Become the new Babe Ruth.
>here comes the wind up
>and the pitch
>freeze time
>wack the shit out of the frozen baseball
>unfreeze time
>another home run for hall of fame batter Anon Anonson
>make $10 million a year, or however much MLB players make
good luck trying to rape when blood is time-frozen in veins, skin no longer breathes and electric impulses in muscles no longer fire. you'd be raping a hard plastic old navy mannequin