Whatever happened to Elmo's real dad?

Whatever happened to Elmo's real dad?

Tip Your Landlord Shirt $21.68

Yakub: World's Greatest Dad Shirt $21.68

Tip Your Landlord Shirt $21.68

  1. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    he must have turned into an alcoholic Hippy.

  2. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Black folk

  3. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    They officially gave him a dad during covid and he looks like such a loser

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      He's a single dad so it fits.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Real question is what happened to Elmo’s mom

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          She died

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      I never noticed he wore an adidas warm up suit. lolol

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        why'd the african sesame street gotta make their muppet OC have aids?

        Elmo is slavic confirmed?

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          also
          >give her aids
          >make her name cummy
          what the frick did africa mean by this?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Do the Elmos live in a state that legalized pot? Elmo’s dad looks like he feasts on edibles.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        cookie monster got the hookup

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why do the other puppets wear full human clothing but Elmo walks around with none? Is this PBS groomer messaging?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        Only human Muppets and these parent characters wear clothing anon.

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          Was Jim Henson trying to tell us something?

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      >They officially gave him a dad during covid and he looks like such a loser

      Louie's been around since the Iraq War when they made videos to help military kids cope with daddy being gone where they also had Rosita's dad come home from the Middle East in a wheelchair.

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        >...so anyway, Elmo, it was about a hundred and nineteen degrees outside and your dad and I are out on patrol in this little shithole town in Anbar province
        >I'm lighting up a smoke when all of a sudden, this little sand Black person kid, about your age actually, comes running up to our squad, frickin' grenade in his hand
        >Does your old man hesitate, Elmo?
        >Frick no
        >Your dad grits his teeth and puts one right in between this little dune coon's eyes
        >It was some fricked up shit Elmo, all of these women start crying and naturally this kid's mother comes running out of the house and collapses on him sobbing and shit
        >Like the little bastard didn't try to blow us all the frick away
        >We go to radio it in and that's when we realized the little Aladdin had managed to pull the pin just before he took his dirt nap
        >We all run for cover, and the last thing I remember is this muzzie woman being launched up in the air and liquefied and she's raining down all over us like a bunch of little chunks of shawarma meat
        >Fricked up situation, Elmo, truly a bunch of savage camel jockeys over there

        • 3 months ago
          Anonymous

          >...Elmo I remember during gulf war round one we were in this one shithole called Amiriyah
          >the air force had sent some nighthawks to blow the frick out of some bunker that housed a command center and our job was to go investigate the aftermath
          >we cut open the doorway and made our way inside
          >first thing that hits my squad was the smoke, it got everywhere, our eyes, mouth and nose
          >the smell of charcoal was everywhere and for a good 15 seconds we couldn't see anything
          >then the smoke cleared and we saw at least a few hundred blackened husks
          >most of 'em were huddled together
          >some were huddled against the walls
          >a few of them were even fused to the walls elmo
          >you could see the scratches and hand prints across all the walls
          >then i noticed some of the larger ones had tried to protect the smaller ones
          >a few were no bigger than you
          >thats when we realized that these weren't soldiers, they were all a bunch of civilians who wanted to hide from the air strikes in the region
          >elmo do you know how GBU-27 laser-guided bombs work?
          >the air force sends two, the first blows a hole and makes way for the second bomb
          >the second does the real damage
          >it tears into the hole made by the first before exploding and killing everyone inside
          >it's supposed to be instantaneous
          >supposed to
          >it wasn't though
          >the ones on the lower floors were boiled alive when the water tanks burst
          >they were boiled in a room no bigger than your bedroom
          >slowly suffocating as the fire ate the oxygen
          >watching their skin bubble away and melt like fat on a grill
          >trying to protect the lil'uns and failing
          >fusing to the fricking walls like flys on flypaper
          >the smell of sizzling flesh filling the air
          >you don't forget that kind of smell elmo
          >the way it hangs on you and doesn't rub off
          >I've never been able to wash the smell off of me elmo
          >it's been 30 fricking years

  4. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Killed in 'Nam

  5. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    He turned trans

  6. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why tf is elmo nude?

    This is sick

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Elmo’s dad is a chomosexual and parades him around at pride events. Really nasty stuff

  7. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe he saw the sign and went to eat a Joe's but he never came back.

  8. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Marxist red commie puppet

  9. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Not sure about dad but Elmo's son is will Wheaton

  10. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >speaks broken English on an educational program
    I always hated Elmo

  11. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    >first slimey and now Elmo

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      LITTLE MILKSOP COWARD

    • 3 months ago
      Anonymous

      Why does this dude seethe about Muppets 24/7? He does know they're not real, right?

      • 3 months ago
        Anonymous

        They are the demonic spawns of Satan that need to burn in hell

  12. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    He at da sto

  13. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    Elmowitz Sr was secretly molesting all the young Muppets and the Muppet parents formed a lynch mob and burned him up in his house

  14. 3 months ago
    Anonymous

    The real question is how the frick does Elmo, and by extension all other muppets, age? He had a birthday last year apparently and is 3-and-a-half years old. Which means that muppets definitely do age, but at a rate much slower compared to us humans as Elmo hasn't changed. The fact they measure in years that don't line up with ours also means that, whenever the Muppets comes from, time is perceived differently. My guess would be a planet outside of our solar system.
    I suppose that answers your question too, nothing happened to Elmo's dad. He still stands tall, as he did at the beginning of time alongside his brothers in felt.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *