Whats the chick version of 300? I wish I was gay so I could properly enjoy this coomer kino.
Whats the chick version of 300? I wish I was gay so I could properly enjoy this coomer kino.
Whats the chick version of 300? I wish I was gay so I could properly enjoy this coomer kino.
John Tucker Must Die
All you need to enjoy 300 is a pathological hatred of the M.E., a 4th grade understanding of history, and a 70 IQ. I feel you have at least two of those.
I feel you're a homosexual
That sounds like wishful thinking on your part, since I gave your shitty thread attention.
You literally state your yearning for homosexuality in the OP. Maybe you need to think harder before posting.
that's not op
i'm op and im totally NOT gay
100% promise
but you do sound like a gay
Stop wishing you were gay (ironically) on Cinemaphile,
Maybe also stop fantasizing that people who respond to your low quality threads are gay as well.
In fact, try even having a single post that doesn't reference homosex.
ill try but its realty hard..
>t. farouk
Nah, 4th generation Lithuanian-American. My only strong feelings about the M.E. are that I wish we'd completely stayed out of it post WW2.
You don't need any of that to enjoy the movie
The very guy who wrote the story the movie is based on fulfills at least 2 of those criteria.
irrelevant to the enjoyment of the movie
Yes, I am aware of how arbitrarily selective Cinemaphile is with "just turn of your brain bro" movies.
not necessary to turn off your brain to enjoy it either
Its vital to have zero historical knowledge of:
The Spartans
The Persians
The Athenians
Xerxes and his rule
The events of the Battle of Thermopylae
The events leading up to said battle
The events following the battle
If you are ignorant of all that, it's possible to enjoy naked men with painted abs fighting Ogres and Rhinos and 8' tranvestites.
Very reddit take here.
The details don't matter. 300 captures the pathos of the civilizational conflict between East and West better than any nerd homosexual wikipedia article you've read.
Sure, The West in this case are actually guilty of all the evil shit they are despising the East for; whereas the reign of Xerxes is considered one of the most enlightened of that era.
The incessant boy-fricking of the West in that era is glossed over, everyone is a macho heterosexual and it's the Persians who are deviants and transexuals.
Not to mention most of the reason the Persians are heading West is that the slave-mongering Spartans are constantly raiding at their borders and they are just full-on sick of it.
>whereas the reign of Xerxes is considered one of the most enlightened of that era.
Can you at least specify which israeli intellectual(s) you're referring to here?
>the reason the Persians are heading West is that the slave-mongering Spartans are constantly raiding at their borders and they are just full-on sick of it.
go on
You don't think that the film is so good that the contemporary political dimension fades to irrelevance, like the value of the x term in x^2 + x as x goes to infinity?
>300 captures the pathos of the civilizational conflict between East and West better than any nerd homosexual wikipedia article you've read.
Some comic book shit where Persians are portrayed as literal fantasy monsters is actually as reddit as it gets, Indian tier culture, which, go figure when you look at Zack Snyder's fans
I actually find the political side of it irrelevant. It's the story of facing a huge enemy and it has cool cinematography.
it's a live action cartoon, not a history exam buddy
It's Faux History. You despise it when it's shit like Inglourious Basterds.
its cool bro, they made a sequel that dealt with the HISTORICAL naval fleet led by Agamemnon
Do you think that a movie featuring a monster with arms made of blade is worried about being historically corrected, homosexual?
Are you the history buff homosexual from israelitetube? stop shitting on mel gibson and starr some trt for gods sake
And... ?
Do you need to be pro-Florentine to enjoy Dante?
It's not "turn off your brain", it's just that sometimes people are smart enough to enjoy something without agreeing with the politics that went into it.
Weirdly I have about a 140 IQ, an enjoyment of the Middle East, and an understanding of history better than, I would gather, most historians. And I enjoy 300.
Norf FC Brain:
>300 is based
Reddit 107 IQ Brain:
>Le 300 is sexist, racist, misogynist, historically inaccurate, and a terrible movie, I'm sticking to Marvel thanx!
High IQ Brain:
>300 is based
love me that luke warm moron bell curve
Everyone on Cinemaphile has a 130+ IQ, an 8 inch wang and pulls in low 6 figures.
What's the M.E.
t.50 iq
Also, the answer is Sucker Punch.
Actual Answer:
Kill Bill
You have a female heroine you can root for and jack off to, and it's unabashedly pro-violence, pro-strength, pro-killing your enemies and pulverizing anyone who stands in your way, a truly epic gore-fest and at the same time provides an enlightening glimpse into the sheer awesomeness of living a totally martial philosophy. And no buff dudes to worry you're gay over in the entire thing (except maybe Michael Madsen...there's just something about him in Vol 2...)
Nah it's Sucker Punch:
Half naked (possibly homosexual) warriors battle non existant fantasy creatures and situation before they all end up dead.
Nah it's Kill Bill homosexual. Sucker Punch is a movie for guys who are gonna be trannies in the near future but don't know it yet. That's not what OP asked for.
Other similarities:
- overuse of slow motion
- color filtration out the ass
- directed by (the same) hack
you seem like an anon who knows whats up
>You have a female heroine you can root for and jack off to
got any other suggestions that fall into this category ? preferably with a female heavy cast as well, for maximum rooting / jerking off puposes
Long Kiss Goodnight is possibly even better than Kill Bill for this.
One of the most Kino badass girl ass kicker films of all time, and similar to Kill Bill it's not some modern feminist bullshit, it's about actual strong women kicking ass and having real personalities instead of "muh glass ceiling" trite horseshit.
>Long Kiss Goodnight
does she fug sam jackson or is he just a mentor?
True, but she was never hotter than post-OD Pulp Fiction
Not a movie, but the show Kill La Kill is only about 24 episodes and the only anime coomer kino with a sincere plot
Gurren Lagann got a movie though and so should KLK