>When you’re dying of cancer, you learn to appreciate the small things in life
>for example, I developed a taste for subway sandwiches. Specifically the meatball marinara
>do you recall serving me my meatball sub 8 months ago?
>I asked for extra marinara sauce, and you barely put any more on. There was plenty left in the tub, but you refused to give me what I asked for
>now, you face a saucy situation of your own. Since you are so greedy with marinara sauce, I’m going to give you all the marinara sauce you could ever want
>the diving helmet on your head will soon fill with that sweet and savoury sauce, if you can’t drink it fast enough, you will drown in the delicious condiment
>live or die, make your choice
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>When I was getting cancer treatments I had to urinate into a cup for sampling quite often
>I could always hear you laughing as you heard me strain to urinate, with my age and condition both impeding me
>It was your job as a healthcare worker to be supportive and compassionate
>Now it is your job to piss into this container
>You have 2 hours to fill this two gallon jug entirely with your piss or anything else you might summon out of your urethra
>Live or die, make your choice
What if I don't fill the jug?
>then my own 2 gallons of piss gets injected up your urethra
he once put someone in a trap just for smoking. dude was a libtard. picking a woman as his successor just proves it.
>Between H*ffman, my ex-wife, the apprentice from hell, and general chumpfrickery, this has been a
cromulent frickcrustable of a day.
>Jiggy needy drinky.
>Hoffman...
>I asked for a mega sized Summertime Citrus Slurpee, a limited time flavor, yet before me lies a small cherry crush.
>It's unlikely that I will live until the next summer, when I might have an opportunity to try the seasonal flavors again.
>God damn it Hoffman, you frick up.
It’s pretty wild Jill and Art just knew he was at least a killer and let it slide long past the point it became obvious he was jigsaw
Jill even helped willingly
>hello anon, I'd like to play a game
>for too long you've gone without a snack
>and as anyone else would, you're longing for a tasty treat
>before you is a wooden box
>inside the box is a plate full of delicious, piping hot tendies
>I've even included a variety of savory dipping sauces
>however, the box is locked
>the key to the box is at the end of a chain hanging from the ceiling, well out of your grasp
>the key can be lowered within reach, but only if you fill out the stack of job applications found on top of the box
>what will it be, anon? feast or famine? make your choice.
>hello anon
>your mother tells me you’re quite the movie buff
>in front of you is your 13 year old cousin, who is into Sailor Moon
>if at any point the bedroom door closes, a surgically implanted motor drill bit will burrow into your lungs and then explode, jettisoning most of your internal organs through your mouth and butthole
>you kids have fun now
>in front of you is your 13 year old cousin
Oh dear.
Seriously though why do you want to close the door when she’s around anyway. You’re just asking for trouble
I think you know why, anon.
You would just rape a 13 year old in an instant?
Some anons are depraved little beasts.
Stop shilling this god awful series. Funny how there's a new movie coming out and we're seeing Saw shit all the time now. Goddamn its so completely obvious that this board gets astroturfed. A few weeks ago there were 0 Saw threads or discussions, now its shoehorned in every goddamn thread.
There have always been saw threads
Or, you know, people are talking about it because there's a new one coming out.
>you don’t appreciate kino
>you will now have your testicles crushed, and pushed into your eye sockets unless you can appreciate kino Saw movies
>let the games begin
>you once passed by some roses on your way to work
>you passed by them yet you did not stop and smell the roses
>those who do not appreciate life do not deserve to live it
>i couldnt think of a rose themed trap so you have 15 minutes to get the head exploding trap off or die
>i couldnt think of a rose themed trap
The key to remove the head exploding trap is contained within a small bouquet of roses that's hidden in a room full of knee deep piss and shit. He has 5 minutes to sniff out the roses, or die.
I've always loved the Saw movies. I don't care how lowbrow they are. I've always been impressed that they kept a running plot going through the original 7 despite John dying in the 3rd and the story becoming wildly convoluted. It's a shame the 7th one was so garbage though.
Hoffman > Amanda
The first one isn't really "low brow" at all, it's a pretty good allegory for the justice system and the general "machine" of society as well.
>complex shadowy systems that bind poor and rich alike
>said systems impose arbitrary moral standards and punish infractions equally arbitrarily
>even doing everything your told to can wind up with you getting fricked over due to unforeseen snags in the mechanisms of punishment and enforcement
Admittedly I've only seen the first but it also doesn't really have too much gore which confused me as to why people call it torture porn compared to something like Hostel
The first one is legitimately a good movie. The sequels definitely lean more into commenting on various problems in society (to varying success). Crooked cops, corrupt health care and insurance schemes, etc. They're definitely not the kinds of movies where you say to yourself "wow that really made me think," but they pretty fun.
The sequel was a pretty direct commentary on crooked cops and how while the idea of cops using force and planting evidence to catch “bad guys” quicker seems appealing sometimes, it’s ultimately harmful. Both in a narrative sense and in a direct sense considering how Eric’s game was literally “just talk to me for long enough and you will get your son back”
I'll have to watch the second soon, doesn't sound that bad
Terrbiel speech that does nothing to enhance the story. Now if the moron would only commit a crime then Jiggy would no longer be the WORST HORROR MOVIE VILLAIN OF ALL TIME.
>the taste, officer?