where are the reviews?
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where are the reviews?
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Why does every clip seem so stilted and forced and all the humor seem terrible
The movie is extremely feminist. They’re trying to hide all the feminist shit in the promotional materials because they don’t want to piss people off before it comes out.
>female writer director
You mean like a doll?
I present to you Greta Gerwig!
a good director
Greta Gerwig is a hack and political zealot
> Tomorrow when the embargo lifts at 7 pm EST
>fricking barbie
>pg-13
That's it I'm moving to China
BARBIE
RATED NC-17
>I'm moving to China
tell me how you've never been on /gif/ without telling me you've never been on /gif/
He's not talking about BLACKED every second?
they're on strike
She makes me feel things in my einkorn
this movie is going to be the highest rated movie of the year. screencap this
Hidden. Wanna guess why?
Strange how both this and Oppenheimer have a late embargo
>Strange how both this and Oppenheimer have a late embargo
Oppenheimer probably really boring and way too long. Nolan's comment about "plot" really set the stage
Oppenheimer's is a clerical issue as the movie has been shown to several audiences already. Barbie is just desperation from the producers to delay the truth
>Oppenheimer's is a clerical issue as the movie has been shown to several audiences already. Barbie is just desperation from the producers to delay the truth
Oppenheimer is probably too long and ponderous. Interstellar was getting that way from the tight Inception/Dark Knight.
>is probably too long and ponderous
No such thing. Were it possible, I'd smoke salvia to experience a multiple decade long Nolan film exploring Oppenheimer and the era of the final great men, before coming returning to the present and a normative time perception a little bit after I started.
I know WB owns RT so they're trying to cover for barbie as much as possible, but what's the clerical issue with oppenheimer?
>clerical issue
dont you mean ecumenical matter
>the truth
Cinemaphile is so utterly delusional if they believe that Barbie isn’t going to acclaimed by critics and that it won’t be a financial success
They're both going to suck, aren't they?
Yeah, both for completely different reasons so it's still kinda interesting
>Yeah, both for completely different reasons so it's still kinda interesting
Yeah probably so
TOM WON.
MI7 Dead Reckoning Part 1 will have a bigger third weekend at the box office than those 2 movies.
>MI7 Dead Reckoning Part 1 will have a bigger third weekend at the box office than those 2 movies.
Very possible, I can see good legs for MI7
>where are the reviews?
Movie has been embargoed (no reviews) because the movie obviously sux. Will it make money? Probably have a decent weekend but will underperform.
Think Joy Ride or Ghostbusters 2016
>because the movie obviously sux
You wish chud
>You wish chud
Why review embargo then?
Because frick critics that's why
>Because frick critics that's why
Right like critics hate bumping up a feminist movie. It's clearly a bad movie or they would be shouting it from the rooftops.
I mean have you seen LadyBird? It's not good
embargoes don't always mean a movie is bad.
>I mean have you seen LadyBird? It's not good
I know but what is your point here
>embargoes don't always mean a movie is bad.
True but this movie LOOKS bad from the preview. Not a good sign. I'd love to be surprised and discover this is a great movie, but I don't think so
>>I mean have you seen LadyBird? It's not good
>I know but what is your point here
Same director
>but this movie LOOKS bad from the preview
gif related
>Same director
And Steven Spielberg directed Ready Player one
>And Steven Spielberg directed Ready Player one
Spielberg had a pretty good track record and clear proof he COULD make a good movie by RPO, which I thought was actually ok (not great but ok). Not so for Gerwig
Spielbergs track record is like 50 years my point is anyone can make a bad movie. Gerwigs track record is 15 years and only directed 4 times. And by all accounts Lady Bird was considered by critics/audience to be a good movie. Just because you and I don't like it doesn't mean it was bad in the grander cultural zeitgeist.
RPO was gay
Steven Spielberg didn't actually directed RPO, he just let them use his name and shot a couple live action scenes into it.
Sorry if you're named the director. You're directing. Just because you barely do anything doesn't mean you didn't direct the movie. If he didn't want to direct, he could had just not done the movie. Ready Player One is a stain on his legacy.
>Ready Player One is a stain on his legacy.
I thought it was fine
Maybe it's different for me but I read the book before the seeing the movie. In my opinion they're both laughably bad. If you think Barbie is peak consumerism then RPO is brand remembrance the movie. It's member berries and "dude remember galaga! and pacman!". I can't believe I read that shit lol
>RPO is brand remembrance the movie. It's member berries and "dude remember galaga! and pacman!". I can't believe I read that shit lol
Yeah but isn't that the point of the movie? We as the viewers look at people in pods playing the game as saps; but aren't we just as sappy trying to get a bit of joy from the nostalgia?
It's a bit tongue in cheek
>Yeah but isn't that the point of the movie?
Yeah and the point is bad. The very premise is bad. I hate reducing criticism down to "it was s o y", but it really was. The author (having grown up in the 80s) just made a movie about his nerd childhood. Characters would go on monologue rants about some 80s reference in the book multiple times it was exhausting. The fact that speedrunners irl are so autistic they find exploits and glitches within hours of a game and yet no one could find this supposed easter egg that is essentially trials of gamer trivia? The main villain is a shallow basically,corpo business man, that wants to corporatise the virtual world. Also the dialogue in the book was so cringe to read between the characters I was thinking a high schooler wrote it. I basically memory holed the movie in my mind but sadly can't with the book no matter how hard I try. It's not tongue in cheek, it's completely serious.
>It's not tongue in cheek, it's completely serious.
Yeah I heard the book was bad. I'm saying the movie does have elements of self-awareness
I've only seen the movie once and barely remember it and choose to never watch it again. I remember it got the pop culture references aspect down from the book. There were some differences such as there is no race in the book but ultimately it's mostly all there and they're just both bad I don't know what to tell you.
Imagine bringing up RPO instead of crystal skull frick
I believe that anon has an agenda anon
Lol who gives a shit?
Me
>My Spielberg would never make a bad movie! It was an inside job!
This is some massive cope.
He directed crystal turd anon
That’s all you have to say
And
ready player one wasn’t bad and had an anti global homosexual message in there somewhere
Kek, it's basically a reverse Indy 5 where they were so confident in the pile of flaming shit they produced there was no embargo at all
Going by the spam on this board they're probably counting on disney shill critics review bombing it because the mouse doesn't want to win the race to the bottom (they're in the lead so far)
But the review embargo just covers professional critics. Why the embargo if it's a great movie?
contacting my handler to approve this post for a fact-checked disclaimer right now
Professional critics said Black Panther was one of the best movies of all time, they also said Joker was terrible after it had won a Golden Lion at Venice and went on to win major oscars. If I was another studio I would embargo those disney employees too
>Professional critics said Black Panther was one of the best movies of all time, they also said Joker was terrible after it had won a Golden Lion at Venice and went on to win major oscars. If I was another studio I would embargo those disney employees too
Right if professional critics will def vote up a feminist movie, then:
why
the
embargo
Because they aren't just feminists, they are disney shills. I can repeat it as many times as you want
You are proving my point with that image. Most movies NOT Disney, in fact #2 Lady Bird is Gerwig.
If the movie was good, they wouldn't have an embargo.
Thing is the reviews will be almost all fawning regardless, but they know some independent reviewers will not rate it highly.
Cuz it's not a good movie.
Rotten tomatoes has long been shit I don’t know why you homosexuals jury off over it all the time
Rotten Tomatoes doesn't have any fricking power. It didn't do D&D any good
>Rotten Tomatoes doesn't have any fricking power. It didn't do D&D any good
Because that movie had off-screen drama going around by one of the writers giving the most stupid interview ever.
Also, interracial pairings everywhere, even the mainstream press mentioned it.
Because the mainstream feminist perspective is decidedly postmodern, and has sought to tear apart with increasing neuroticism anything that could be construed as a social construct. Margot Robbie and Greta Gerwig, in the past, have been decidedly post-postmodern feminists, and subverted postmodern feminism by using the deconstruction of social constructs to precipitate the reconstruction of meta-narratives of what it means to be female. The description of a female aesthetic, at all, for example, is not sustainable under postmodern feminism because it can only exist as a deconstruction. The post-postmodernism Margot and Greta have thus far explored, in contrast, will accept the deconstruction, but use it to reconstruct an aesthetic in order to give life meaning, to proliferate beauty, to enable creative expression, or do anything that rejects the nihilism of postmodernism. Hence, where postmodern feminism will reject Barbie and deconstruct and leave it in nihilistic pieces or mock vulgarity as a statement of rejection of its meta-narrative, post-postmodernism will accept the worthwhile criticism and artifice, and, claiming liberty in the inherent nature of everything as a social construct, the fiercely asserted nihilism of postmodernism (if nothing matters, everything is relative, and all meta-narratives are equally valid, you implicitly endorse my reconstruction if performed without claims of objectivity), and the universal subjectivity of the human experience, reconstruct a meta-narrative of Barbie free to be whatever humans are willing to create.
>they also said Joker was terrible
Joker has 69%, a 7.3 rating and 410 critic's gave it a good review.
Bros, I'm beginning to think women are self absorbed and not very smart
>lb review
moron is too kind a word for you, troon. kys pronto
>muh patriarchy makes life so hard
>brutal reality of our everyday existence
lmao western women are such fricking drama queens. Try living in Afghanistan for a bit.
That’s a shill bot homosexual
They are going all out for the promotion of this shit $$$
which means the bombing will be even harder ie greater finical loses
Lol
Women literally require Hollywood movies to inform them how to conceive of their existence
True so true.
>goose posting intensifies
All humans are mirror monkeys. Only intelligent people acknowledge and admit it.
>humans seek out the arts to explore new perspectives of the human condition
Woah, you don't fricking say.
>new perspectives of the human condition
What does Barbie have to offer in that regard?
Nostalgia, utopian artifice, idealized but crudely incomplete forms of female and male identity, the idealized false narrative of being able to become anyone or anything, the transcendent ideal of seeing all things as possible, and so on. It can also just be an aesthetic and vehicle for something more. Human creativity has no bounds, why does Barbie IP need to be itself worthwhile if it's being transformed by new perspectives?
>Nostalgia
By definition not a NEW perspective.
>utopian artifice
By itself meaningless. Do you really expect the film to engage critically with its setting?
> idealized but crudely incomplete forms of female and male identity
Again: Only worthwhile in the context of critical thought. That would require the film to reflect on itself.
>the idealized false narrative of being able to become anyone or anything
>the transcendent ideal of seeing all things as possible
Why would you expect the film to go there?
If you need to read a thesis to "get" a movie about a girl's toy, maybe the movie's the problem.
Coming of age at 33 years old jfc china nuke us now
>Because I started living as a woman a little late.
It’s a troony, right?
all the critics are held in the dungeon until the appointed date so as to make the money.
then they let them out
I WANT TO PAY MONEY TO SEE MARGOT'S JUICER
>Florence Pugh
>Sex
>Cillian Murphy
>Oppenheimer
BwAhahahahahaha!
BwwwwAhahahahahaha Ahahahahahaha!!!
>sex scene with Florence Pugh
Good. It's a 3 hour movie and now we have a bathroom break
The fact that the Little Mermaid bombed and this movie is going to do over 300m worldwide opening weekend just proves that the entire world loves white blonde women and hates black women. Fricking chuds
My sister yesterday said she can't wait to take her daughter to this.
I said hang on, isn't it PG15? Are you sure it's appropriate?
She came back to me with, it's a fricking Barbie movie. Of course it's going to be ok for her to watch. It's made for little girls
Is this a case of Hollywood being subversing, fooling people into letting them hand their children over for indoctrination?
Yes obviously. The tagline of the movie is some shit like "she's everything, he's just ken"
There's nothing to indicate, and Gosling's body of work strongly suggests otherwise independent of the involved women, that the Ken dynamic is a critique of male neglect. Until we actually get the film, you Black folk have no idea what they did. And Hollywood had no control over this film. Margot got the rights directly from Mattel with her production company, and got Gerwig and her husband creative freedom to write the script. As for the track record of the women, it's well within their capacity to frick it up, but to the extent their feminism leads them into temptation, it would be out of form for either of them to do so in a way aligned with postmodern feminism; both of them have pretty firmly critiqued postmodern deconstructionalism by adopting a post-postmodern viewpoint and reconstructing what postmodernism has torn down in their works.
>Is this a case of Hollywood being subversing, fooling people into letting them hand their children over for indoctrination?
That will work the first couple of days. People talk
It’ll work for only the opening weekend, but that might be enough to make a profit for the movie.
pg 13 movies are tame as hell
it's PG-13 for suggestive references and brief language. It's for teens.
Margot and Greta have both been abundantly clear it's not a kids movie. And they deliberately used their first teaser to reach out to film buffs. Not everything is a conspiracy, though it sometimes is, people are just moronic.
It's absolutely not. 6 year old girls will not understand any of the insanse nonsense that's happening in the film. They'll be bored to tears.
Pg13 now is pretty tame
Would you feel uncomfortable if your niece started imitating Barbie, uncle anon?
Barbie doesn't really exist
The matrix does
SHELOVESIT
SHE IS BARBIE
AND SHE LO
>this b***h with terrible taste likes it so it’s good
I'm so tired of looking at people trying to sell me something
>The kiss of death. Grace likes it
Barbiegirls...
>Grace Randolph calls #Barbie "one of the greatest films" she's ever seen.
That settles it then: It's complete and utter trash.
frick you janny
It's gonna be feminist bullshit. Shame.
This is why there is an embargo. "Squirm, haters, squirm". They won't squirm just 60% of your potential audience won't see your movie.
Oh boy. I expect many Webms and threads.
Hollywood finnaly came up with a new idea. There has never been a barbie movie before. There have been movies before of toys coming to life, toy story, indian in the cupboard. Curios to see how this one goes. Margot Robbie was destined to play this role.
Barbie and Ken where in toy story and were actually funny
Cope
oh shit i forgot about that
Behold Barbie's oh so young audience (wait 3 secs for the vid to play):
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/index.html?fw_playlist=gdGqdo&fw_video=vJENZ8&fw_channel=dailymailus
>I've heard it's got a message, so I'm sure it will be enlightening
Oh god. You know, I can put on something like Bayformers, or hell, even Battleship and just enjoy the absurdity of the fact that I'm watching a multi-million dollar live action movie based off of toys.
Come to thread about barbie movie
It's full of posts arguing about Spielberg and some movie I've never heard of
Remind me why I bother with this site again
There is another website you might want to try it's called reddit.com
>Hollywood hands you a shit sandwich and pisses & moans when you won't eat it
frick those buttholes, don't give them a dime. i wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire
yeah, no thanks
>It is super fun, super feminist
Who is this movie even for?
Do zoomers even know who/what Barbie was?
Women
Here is the audience.
> Everywhere is freaks & hairies
dykes and fairies
tell me where is sanity..
it's Indonesia today.
I mean, what did you expect? That parents would expose their children to this trash? That would traumatize them for life! Responsible parents take their children to see Oppenheimer.
it's PG13 not for kids. Also, Nolan's a hack don't give him your money.
They are sheltering it because it’s going to bomb obviously
Barbie will have a 32% rating on RT by August
You heard it here first
>Barbie is about women , by women for women
>Virgin shut-ins that don't know any women think it's going to bomb
The next few days are going to be a riot herev
>The next few days are going to be a riot herev
Only those, second weekend fallout will make it the biggest 2nd weekend box office drop in history, dwarfing that of Batman v Superman
yeah people are short on dough so they're going to wait for word of mouth from people they know have seen it; If they say 'eh, don't waste your money' it's over
For it to be successful I reckon it will need to be tiktok tier. Short scenes, noisy, bright colors, lots of skin.
Made for people with short attention span
it won't though. The people behind it are old af won't be able to make a movie pitched to zoomers. They've probably tried, but it would feel unnatural to them, so they've reverted to their normal safe way of making a film.
Meaning this will be a mess with bad pacing, a basic plot that doesn't even resemble a storyline. Oh and no flow.
Never forget
Greta gerwigger is as prostitute
I really don’t want to deal with the shitstorm this movie will cause. I’m so tired of it all. I’m tired of culture war bullshit, I’m tired of how much influence mass media and consumerism has on people, I’m tired of hearing about politics all day, I’m tired of men being demonized in an era where fertility rates are in freefall and everyone hates each other, I’m tired of Western women pretending they’re oppressed when they live better than any other human beings in all of history. I’m just tired.
Take a break from the internet for awhile
all of this is happening in your head.
Women are suffering too. The difference is that they are being gaslit into a lifestyle that on paper/propaganda claims to be fulfilling but only brings them misery. They have more resources but that is literally par for the course for women.
just to state the obvious; it's not happening your head
Cool it with the antisemitic remarks.
Where are the reviews?
>Where are the reviews?
Embargoed
Choice between
>Nolan hack
>Annoying old woman with manjaw and cannot act
Thanks Hollywood
Holy shit Barbie 90 fricking years old
Pirates of the carribean is re-released in theaters if you have money to burn and want to watch an actual good movie.
I am watching CruiseKino
>stay home
Just saw it.
It was surreal.
How woke was it
>embargoed
are there really movies that don't get reviewed?
It's getting reviewed. The reviews just aren't allowed to be released (yet).
I made fun of a trans person in the other thread and now I feel terrible. If you’re reading this I apologize.
Cannot believe Anons on here are genuinely upset that they made BARBIE a feminist movie. Embarrassing to share a board with some of you actually.
I think the problem with the Barbie brand is that it cannot decide what kind of feminism it wants to promote. Or rather, that it desperately tries to keep up with the most current trends of the feminist movement to cater to them, rather than making a statement once and then stand by it.
Barbie, when it (or "she") was incepted, was designed in the spirit of early 2nd wave feminism: Empowerment through emancipation. That meant openness to dialogue, sexual positivity, shunning societal ideals, and most of all individualism. Liberal ideology in its original sense. (There certainly was a definitive anti-male strand, of course, so not everything was well-intentioned, but that's beside the point here.)
Late second-wave feminisim, in the early 80s, when the anti-sex, anti-male and overall radical activist subculture took over, was the first time the Barbie brand got a backlash, because suddenly being pro-sex and displaying the female body wasn't "in" anymore with mainstream feminism. So Barbie became more innocent and modest.
Where it really got bad was the social justice movements of the 2000s and 2010s, where suddenly everything needed representation, and therefore there needed to be a black Barbie, and a fat Barbie, and a disabled Barbie and so on. It wasn't about presenting one specific ideal anymore, and certainly not about the individual, it had become catering to and placating the (ironically named) "identity politics" of in-group-biases and group-exceptionalism. And now we have a film with a trans-Barbie that's all about shallow wishfulfilment and that tells us how bad the patriarchy and the male gaze are or something (right back to 1980's messed up bullshit).
I get that brands need to change and adapt, because they're all about making profit, satisfying consumers and reading the market. But, come on, if that's the case, Barbie isn't truly feminist, and never was. Just opportunistic.
>tells us how bad the patriarchy and the male gaze are or something (right back to 1980's messed up bullshit)
Is there a source for this?
I mean, that's what academic feminism is nowadays. When people say that the film is feminist, then that's most probably what it means.
Yeah, but most people aren't actually academic feminists, they're just captured by them, hence why so many think you're unhinged if you launch into a critique of academic feminism that they implicitly believe but don't have experience with. Margot and Greta are both definitely feminists but they also both seem to be largely or entirely post-postmodernist in their feminism, or critiquing deconstructionist, postmodern feminism, and seem more likely to reconstruct meta-narratives that have been torn down in a way that celebrates humanity. The academic core is pretty bleak and they hold an immense amount of sway, and a lot of people are driven by extreme deconstructionism without even realizing it a lot of time. But an intellectual movement in response to and critical of postmodernism is increasingly popular and capturing more of the zeitgeist, David Foster Wallace (Infinite Jest) was an early advocate of moving on from postmodernism. Post-postmodernism, and you can kind of see this in some zoomie memes, too, is almost always highly critical of the nihilism that is essential to postmodernism, and thus, even when it explores more scathing criticism more liberally from postmodernism, it eventually rejects the nihilistic outlook and need for everything to be deconstructed, and instead uses those tools to seize freedom to craft new meta-narratives and social constructs that celebrate humanity, or beauty, or the ideals championed by modernism. What I've seen of Barbie and from Margot and read about Greta, it seems much more likely to be identifiable as post-postmodernism (Top Gun Maverick is considered to be post-postmodernist, for what its worth, since it accepts the deconstruction and criticisms of subjectivity from postmodernism, but uses them to subvert a nihilist conclusion and craft a new, sincere meta-narrative), and feminist in that respect. Unless new details have dropped, that's what I've seen.
IT'S BARBIN TIME
The way reviews are coming in so late, yeah, they totally bamboozled people into seeing this. I bet half the OpieBarbie shit is the marketing teams trying to sell tickets. I won't be seeing either. Hard pass on both these films.