Why cant tv shows and films get the armor and weapons of medieval men at arms and knights right?

Why cant tv shows and films get the armor and weapons of medieval men at arms and knights right?

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  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because they are not autists and are not catering to autists.

    what offended you this week anon?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      why not just put them in bikinis and use rubber chickens for weapons then

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Ok. No fat chicks and nobody from the cast of dunc.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >everything has to be either one-hundred percent authentic down to every detail
        >or it should be a complete farce.
        >what do you mean black-and-white thinking is a symptom of autism
        The real answer is that consumers don’t give a shit. If rubber chicken battles were what people wanted, producers would cater to that. If autistically nitpicked and excruciating historical detail was what consumers wanted, producers would cater to it. Instead, people want enough realism to suspend their disbelief and create verisimilitude but don’t care or notice beyond that.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Every good movie, game, book, or product in general you've ever liked was made by and for autists. Only autists care enough to make things good. When autists aren't the ones making stuff primarily for other autists, the result is Marvel Studios - initial financial success due to novelty, followed by running that particular formula into the ground with sequels, rehashes, and ripoffs until the novelty wears off and the normieBlack folk like you bleat for something "different". Not being autists, you don't actually know *what* it is you want, just "something new", and eventually an autist will labour to make their batshit obsession into a reality and you'll latch on to it, but because you're a dumb subnormal poofter you'll scoff at the 'tism that birthed it and sneeringly cheer as your fellow normienigs rip it away and do the same thing over again.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        autists are literally mentally moronic, they have an actual mental disability and shit themselves and screech, being slightly odd isn't autism, genuine autistic people are special needs and i'm very sorry you suffer from it but 99% of the world doesn't and therefore most media isn't catered for you no matter how hard you cry on Cinemaphile about it, you're not smart or special, you're a literal moron

        always remember that

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          🙁

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because you're gay.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Because nobody gives a shit.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I don't know why, it could be kino

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >And I was obliged to fight five times in this way. And five times, for my honor, I had to fight in unfamiliar places without relatives and without friends to support me, not trusting anyone but God, my art, myself, and my sword.
      Nothing this kino could be said in a film in this day and age.

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They just need more colors.
    If you were a medieval lord then almost nobody knows your face but lots of people know your colors, so you would fly dem colors proudly.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They choose not to.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >armor and weapons of medieval men at arms and knights right?
    This is like hundreds of different styles from over a few hundred year period that continuously changed

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      And never once get properly depicted
      they wear scrap metal glued to riding gear and useless bash at iron plate with swords

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      this would trigger audiences

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It terrifies the clergy

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          papist scum

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      oh mine god, i accidentally hath sent thou a picture of mine wiener and balls...prithee delete it!! 'Lest...thou desire to look? haha I jest, delete it...should thee crave... haha nay, banish it...'lest?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >can my maidens believe there are knyghts who live thus

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Besides a perch for my falcon, what more does one need?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            for a start a big sign declaring Liveth, Loveth, Laugheth

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It terrifies the clergy

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        cute clits

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I would love an accurate depiction a la "In the name of the rose" but with knights, it's a shame we get Dunc with gay flips and shit.
    Think medieval 2 total war with ballistas and trebuchets.

    t. amateur historian

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Dune is science fiction not historical
      I dont think it is something you could do on a huge scale because of the costs involved
      It would to be something modest with only a few hundred people - or even scaled right down to 'lone knight comes to town' like Yojimbo/Fistful of Dollars

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    costumes are another thing they're more than willing to cut corners on in order to give more money to the 'exective producers' and other assorted uhhhh people of a certain background.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      they often dont make them but rent from prop stores to save money
      so with a keen eye you can see the same armor across several productions and decades

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      they often dont make them but rent from prop stores to save money
      so with a keen eye you can see the same armor across several productions and decades

      How the frick were the lord of the rings movies so much better in this department then anything since?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        they did make their own
        but they weren't really historical, just based on Alan Lees work

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >wears a smaller helmet under the visor
    What now gay

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Most peasants were not trained

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      among the English quarterstaff and longbow training was common

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    This low budget English comedy had some master armor scholars and reenactors show up with their stuff and make an authentic recreation of the armor Richard III would have worn at Bosworth.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >had some master armor scholars and reenactors show up with their stuff
      No, Tobias Capwell was the consultant and I think wore his armor for the final scene but the rest was made for the film

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Nah, they just made Richard's armor.

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    this thread again lol

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Any minute now some autist will post that image from Henry V in blown out 1950s technicolor and insist that’s an accurate portrayal of the late Middle Ages.

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    When was the last time you saw accurate late roman attire in movies?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Movies with scenes showing Catholic priests wearing liturgical vestments while performing mass.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        never seen these hats

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Swiss Guard at the Vatican.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous
            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              >its not the size that counts, i swear!

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Left
      >crisp, clean, aesthetic
      Right
      >gaudy semitised garbage

      There is a reason everyone goes for the left even if inaccurate for the time period, it's what is culturally ingrained as "Roman", while the right just looks like any very early Eastern Medieval garb

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    because there is no demand for it

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      there is a demand for rubblish?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >half face
      >everything is dark and dreary and blue

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The half helmet is one of the dumbest design decisions I've ever seen in a "historical" movie.
      >we need to see the stars on screen!!
      frick you Ridley you hack

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    because it isn't a historical documentary

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      see

      why not just put them in bikinis and use rubber chickens for weapons then

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    because what u posted was homosexual late medieval armor
    only autists like that shit

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >because what u posted was homosexual late medieval armor
      >only autists like that shi-ACK

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'm writing something now that does armored combat correctly.
    I'm an armored combat buhurt fighter irl.
    Even medieval art did this same trope makign armor behave like foam.

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >OH N-

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