Why did not a single person working on this movie think this was a stupid idea?
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Why did not a single person working on this movie think this was a stupid idea?
Why did not a single person working on this movie think this was a stupid idea?
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Because they are all stupid.
Yeah and palpatine returning is genius. GTFO out here star wars is dead
How did he return?
someone found his jizzrag and cloned him
somehow
*sigh* somehow
The guy in OT was just a clone 🙂
horcruxes or sth
The dark side is a path to abilities many consider to be unnatural.
Darth Plaguies' research
Wait, the story of Dark Plagueis wasn't just something Palpatine made up to manipulate Anakin?
darth plagueis was palpatine's master
retconned to Penn Pershing's research actually
Darth Plagueis was very real, as was his ability to influence midichlorians, so much so the Force created Anakin in response to his experiments. Palps got him drunk after his election and killed him.
Sum Hao the Hutt brought him back.
No one's ever really gone
He didn’t return. He listened to what he had to say. And that’s what no one else did.
Nice.
In Fortnite
they explained in the movie and prequels
he just respawned bro
He got rezzed in Fortnite.
>Nulling Darth Vader's final sacrifice, redemption and fulfilling his 6 movie-long prophecy
What is wrong with Disney?
>fulfilling his 6 movie-long prophecy
Wtf I never realised this. I might be moronic.
Why did they call him palpatine? Was he ever called palpatine during the OT? Wouldnt he have been known as the emperor or sidious?
Palpatine™
iirc he's called that in the first novelization
His real name is Palpatine (later Sheev Palpatine); his Sith name is Sidious, no one was going to know him by that; Emperor is his title.
I swear I remember reading a novelization when I was a kid that called him Cos Palpatine. This was decades before the word "Palpatine" was ever uttered on screen.
Cosigna Palpatine was Sheev's father.
Why is it shaped like one of those dildos with that clit thing lmao
that entire movie was a mess
Really? That's what you had a problem with?
By that point the whole saga was fricked up beyond repair.
Everyone involved knew it was doomed to be a mess and just wanted it over with.
They hired nothing but women and gay men to work on the movie.
AI generated script
Missa think it's pritty pritty clevah.
>Work with a bunch of nepotists in charge
>see time and time again people getting fired for disagreement because only nepos are in charge
>they use vogue social commentary to hide themselves and their work (if you don't like their work its because you're racist, sexist, misogynistic, etc.)
>anyone who starts showing too much talent gets fired because they don't want to pay their skilled employees, they want to replace them with lower earning new hires instead (and their nepo friends)
>LITERALLY surrounded with yes-men to the point that even the CEO is too scared to do anything
Wtf but everyone around me said it was good???? They tell themselves in bafflememt because every time they touch the pulse of public opinion it scoled their barely-human fingers
They knew it was stupid but didn’t give a frick because Disney had a moronic schedule to hold and if there were problems they just threw money at it until the problems went away
I'm almost sure that the movies screenplay was written by AI and, at best, loosely revised by a real person. There's no way anyone actually sat down and wrote that script.
Jewisraelite got 4 options and instead of using the brain for 3 milliseconds he chose the most moronic one
all of them probably took turns fricking that thing
The pacing, story, fricking bizarre plot points, and jump cut scenes make perfect sense when you take a look at the guy making it. JJ is a speedy, ADHD coke addict that lightspeeds through all decision making processes, and gives everything a
>Ehh..that's good enough!
>That'll do!
to every decision without giving it two seconds of thought, he literally implements the first idea that pops into his head and will never ever sweat the details of give a shit if ti works out in the narrative. As long as it sounds really cool to a guy that is coked out of his fricking head, it's added into the movie.
So we end up with a jarring fricking mess of 2 second long scenes and less than a second jump cuts that do not make any damn sense when taken as a whole movie. It's just a shitload of instant quick decisions of
>Hey that's cool
>That works
>splosion!
>That's good enough, on to the next shot!
>lasers!
with no thought behind anything other than the exact scene he is working on and not the whole narrative or whole story
Which works out great for Disney since they wanted someone to shit out a movie in one and a half years. Instead of the usual three to four year production time a project of this magnitude would have. Disney made a ridiculous, uncompromising, impossible schedule for the Star Wars movies and then hired out of control coke addicts to do it and we got this and solo which shit the bed so hard that it tanked their guaranteed to print money franchise.
JJ is a slightly more talented Uwe Boll and it’s about time people realized it
>we got this and solo which shit the bed so hard that it tanked their guaranteed to print money franchise
TFA ultimately killed it. At the time everyone thought it was a glib facsimile of Ep4 but Disney’s just getting their feet wet the next one for sure will be great. Rogue One reinforces that idea and it’s probably the best nuwars movie. Then TLJ turns out to be utter shit and breaks the illusion that these people are competent. I didn’t watch Solo but from what I heard it’s better than its box office would indicate and that’s because in a franchise series a movie’s returns are dictated mainly by the previous entry’s reception
TROS was always going to be a train wreck. Anybody watching it did so with the desire to see how bad it can get
> from what I heard it’s better than its box office would indicate
it isn't
No, Solo was pretty bad. and even weirder still, Disney perfectly recognized that they had a real piece of shit on their hands early on in production. Enough to double the budget by firing the director and hiring Ron Howard to basically reshoot the entire thing. And then they never released a single trailer for the movie until slightly less than a month before it released. There was no talk, no promotion, no fanfare for that movie until immediately before it came out. That is incredibly unusual for both Star Wars and Disney. When they normally start merchandising and tossing out trailers six months to a year before release.
>Ron Howard was encouraging people to look up reviews on Twitter before actually watching the movie
Because Lucasfilm is under the control of diversity hires and women with pubic relations degrees and nobody knows the first thing about storytelling.
esg/dei is why there can't be nice things
the whole movie was just one giant asspull after another so nobody really cared. by this point in the movie, sheev had somehow returned, they went to a Burning Man planet, rey healed a worm, found a sith dagger with evil letters, rey shot lightning, hacked the gay robot to make him read the letters, then went to the death star wreckage. moron fatigue had taken over
It needed to be because of the bullshit Last Jedi pulled. RoS should have been wrapping everything up into an epic finale, instead it had to essentially make a whole trilogy of conflict in one movie.
it was a mistake to try and retcon half of TLJ though. with some thought there's room for a good story with the things you have left, but Abrams is a wimp who knows nothing but playing it safe
>>it was a mistake to try and retcon half of TLJ though.
They had no options. Rian Johnson buttfricked them so hard by sabotaging all the plot lines that had been built up from the first movie.
>Rey's parents
don't matter
>Rey's training
over, cause her master died and apparently she's so powerful it doesn't matter
>Resistance
Utterly destroyed
>Snoke
dead
>First Order
Now in control of Kylo Ren, who would probably hang up his evil helmet if Rey sucked his dick
What was left? The main antagonist they set up was dead. Kylo was probably always slated for a heel turn so they couldn't have him be the main bad guy. Resistance was also fricking toast. Rey saved like a dozen people at most. What were they going to do? You either retcon it or your third movie is even dumber than the shit we actually got.
the logical thing to do would have had them gathering a fleet the entire film to fight the 1st order.
no desert plant
no hooking up with Poes ex gf
no death star ruins
no sheev
no moronic star destroyer super laser fleet
just have a cool space battle and beat Hans son in a light saber fight. how anyone involved in this shit fest could ever get work again is why nobody watches 90% of films in theaters anymore.
Weirdly, one would think the entire plot of the sequels would have ended with TLJ.
>First Order was crippled, lost half their fleet, lost their capital ship, lost their special fleet destroyers, their leadership killed
>Resistance also killed off, Luke killed off
>This takes place about 2 days after TFO where the First Order also lost their homeworld, super secret weapon, and all the personnel ans ships stationed there
All the good guys and 80% of the bad guys died in one day. The FO should not have been in any shape to take over the galaxy at all and their numbers and resources reduced to about 10-15 ships. The plot of TLJ with them chasing the Resistance should have just been some stupid angry revenge plot since their plans to take the galaxy was just ruined. And after the events of TLJ, they are reduced to a small group of fanatics all over again like the ending of ROTJ and they frick back off to the unknown regions to rebuild and maybe come back in another 20 or so years.
Galaxy disaster averted for another few decades.
It was moronic for TLJ to go "erm actually no" on people's expectations but RoS also immediately going "erm actually no" was worse since they were trying to fix a problem by doing the exact same thing that caused it. It guaranteed that regardless of how you felt about TLJ or RoS you would hate at least a third of their trilogy.
Kind of amazing that on Twitter there's still irrelevant midwit tweeters and sockpuppet accounts still trying to gaslight people into believing Last Jedi was a good film
I remember almost none of that happening.
I actually don't remember any of the events you described but I'm just gonna take your word for it all that was in the movie.
Who cares, this movie had no change of being good anyway.
>"x marks the spot"
>camera pans out until it is revealed they are standing on a giant x to scale of map
bravo nonal
they knew it was bad. poe dameron said "somehow palpatine returned" but it was oscar isaac who sighed
This movie perfectly explains the current state of Disney. It's not that they think they're too big to fail or that they wish to push the agenda before everything else. No, their ranks are simply filled with people not competent enough to do their jobs. Worse, people who are not interested in doing a good job. They work at Disney (for whatever reason) so they believe that makes them automatically good.
they did, they all did, but they think you are THAT stupid. Like just imagine how smug and self assured they were, that knowing this was moronic they were thinking "But those stupid frick fans will love it anyway, same old same old to them!" they fricking hate you. And when I say this theres always some smug dipshit redditor who says, like captain obvious, "they dont even KNOW you hahaha they need your money how could they hate you PERSONALLY??" They hate the entire franchise and everyone who created or adores it, its nothing to them but a gateway into stardom and being an idol. They think we are fricking stupid and it is out of malice.
inb4
>b-b-b-but star wars is for kids! Its always been bad!
>b-b-b-but you already like star wars so you ARE moronic
This is when we can get into objectivitiy in stoytelling and the objecive fact that the first original two star wars movies had objectively good story structure and character arcs and good plot beats where those should be and the difference is these new movies do not meet that baseline level of quality which even someone detached from the franchise can see.
>the difference is these new movies do not meet that baseline level of quality
like they dont even come close. They are so autistically paced with scenes entirely created from 3-5 second cuts it leaves you no time to process how jarring and fricking awful the thing is till you have time to think about it. I left the theater in a state of complete fricking disgust.
I blame the MCU for their cancerous influence, that can be traced not only in Star Wars but in most of recent Disney's output
there is something to be said of modern editing cutting just to keep your attention and not letting scenes breath. We also cant process a complex feeling wihout a sweeping orchestral score to tell us how to feel.
I started to count out the seconds between cuts in the last movie and after several minutes of it only found one that was longer than 5 seconds. Noticing it early on made the whole thing torture to watch. Like each scene just made me more and more angry
what's with the dog theme going itt?
they’re the only ones stupid enough to enjoy watching NuWars if only to stare blankly until Boyega appears then barking and snarling hysterically
When your whole movie revolves around making shit up as you go, people like that are unwelcome pests, not helpers.
Everyone working on the film were stupid
they treated this knife like it was some kind of ancient relic or something. it was so fricking cringe to watch I will forever curse my cousins for dragging me to watch this fricking garbage movie.
how the hell can anyone even defend the sequels what's even to point anymore.
>how the hell can anyone even defend the sequels what's even to point anymore.
What's worse is the people who bought into the Disney astroturfing/bought reviews of TLJ. They legitimately believe that they're more sophisticated than the masses who got filtered. They keep repeating "Rian Johnson" challenged the audience and Star Wars status quo as if that was case and as if that alone makes for a good flick
Disney was smart the warp the discussion around how trash the TLJ into the whole "culture war" bs. most reviewers were terrified about being labeled alt right incels if they dared criticize the film. the entire thing was surreal in retrospect man its funny that by the time ROS came out people stopped pretending that the films were not all irredeemable dog shit.
>most reviewers were terrified about being labeled alt right incels
lol nobody cares what homosexuals have to say
I didn't watch any of israelite israelite's movies, what is this knife and why was it a stupid idea?
>find ancient knife on random planet
>go to (the forest moon of) endor and stand in random place
>the ancient knife points to part of the death star wreckage that has a map or something to where palpatine is hiding
did they ever explain who put the knife there 10 years earlier?
yeah, that sounds moronic as frick. thnks anon
>the death star wreckage, which somehow exists despite the Death Star being absolutely obliterated, is only about 40 years old.
>Perfectly matches ancient knife with no deterioration due to being a wreck in a stormy ocean
>is only about 40 years old.
the time between the production of the OT and the ST was 40 years the actual time between the events of the story of the OT and ST is more like 20 years. the knife had to have been made and placed on the desert planet in the last 2 decades.
Or somebody with clairvoyance made it for some reason, but that's getting into a whole other realm of stupidity and I really don't want to play devil's advocates for these hacks.
I am not buying it
from what I recall it was made in the last 20 years and placed on the planet. the death star ruins are supposed to be seen as ancient to the viewers of the film as is the knife.
>I am not buying it
there is no way for it to make any fricking sense anon, we are just pontificating in regards to its abject shittiness
>the knife had to have been made and placed on the desert planet in the last 2 decades.
I got the feeling it was supposed to be ancient. Like it was made as a prophetic relic, which made it even more fricking moronic
Don't worry, you've already put way more thought into it than they have.
it would have had to have been an ancient relic because it was inscribed with evil sith language, and pretty much nobody would know what any of that shit was after the fall of the empire. and if it was done by a sith, then they would have gotten the shittiest prophecy ever because it directly lead to rey getting the magic box to end up killing palpatine. even if it was not ancient, then whoever made it would have had to have known that there was a magic box on the death star that they could plug in to a ship and get to the sith planet, write whatever on the dagger, design it so the hilt could line up with a wreck if you stood from a certain spot on the right side of the wreckage, AND THEN go to a completely different planet and HIDE THE FRICKING THING
>because it was inscribed with evil sith language, and pretty much nobody would know what any of that shit was after the fall of the empire
lol, except for the droid created by anakin skywalker somehow...
The rest of your post is more thought than the writers put into the entire fricking trilogy anon. To make sense of it is impossible.
C3PO seems to be like those “build your own PC” kits so I’m not surprised it comes with a gorillion language packs preinstalled. The thing I AM surprised by is that the in-universe equivalent of Mordor’s black speech is included but for some reason requires a factory reset to access like the devs intentionally put it there but didn’t want normal users accessing it
The ancient knife was not right there where they raised it and fit with the wreckage????? I haven't watched the movie, and watching the webm I just assumed that they had just picked the knife right there.
No it comes from some desert planet or something.
It was buried in the collection of some ancient archeologist ship on a desert planet that was having a not-Burning Man festival at the time.
Imagine you’re at a market in Tucson and find a dagger that, although crafted in 500AD by the original compilers of the Talmud, contains instructions that say to go to NYC and hold it up to ground zero, and when you do it points to the specific office that has all the information needed to steal George Soros’ identity without getting merc’d instantly. That’s the level of clairvoyance (moronation) TROS is on
>the specific office that has all the information needed to steal George Soros’ identity
Which, continuing the parallel to the movie, just happens to be in...the room that is VERY OBVIOUSLY his office, making the dagger completely pointless.
Dude.
>Why did not a single person working on this movie think this was a stupid idea?
A good question. For another time.
>fails to resolve his own mystery boxes
Absolute hack
They did, but JJ was too busy retconning TLJ to think through the bullshit he found inhis coked up notes
with out looking it up can anyone explain who those black ladies people were who rode the horse monsters onto a star destroyer at the end?
i think they were ex stormtroopers like finn that broke from their programming but the main girl is teased to be a daughter of lando so who the hell knows
In the thumbnail they all look like they're wearing funny hats.
Because anyone who wasn't a yesman was fired.
>its ok when the goonies do it
Fricking boomers m8
It was better when the Goonies did it.
In the Goonies they were actually given directions where to stand.
Rey bypassed the directions.
The Goonies didn't need to FORTUNATELY be at the exact right place when landing on A PLANET.
>Why did not a single person working on this movie think this was a stupid idea?
rian Johnson already ruined it so JJ was merely fulfilling his obligation to shit out a third movie
I see no problem with this scene.
>I see no problem with this scene.
let me guess, you like the prequels
>let me guess, you like the prequels
implying that Disney did not make the sequel trilogy for RLM watching gen X morons.
>1st film
need to for a rebellion to blow up big laser weapon only this time its as big as a hecking planet!
>2nd film
need to learn from isolated former jedi on remote planet and have epic land battle on snow planet
>3rd
need to fight and beat evil wizard and free the galaxy
the entire thing is a beat for beat remake of the films shit head gen Xers grew up with. Disney's biggest mistake was not doing something new instead they tried to appeal to old neckbeards instead of following Lucas and getting kids interested.
>beat for beat remake of the films
not even close. The elements are similar but they removed the heroes journey. Without it there is no compelling reason to care about any of it.
>not even close.
see aksully it was not a snow planet it was a salt planet and they were not ATAT 4 legged robots they were new STAT 4 legged robots!
Absolutely shameless. The prequels might have sucked but at least there were some new (bad) ideas.
I said the elements were similar. The thing that mattered, the heroes journey, was removed entirely.
Then get your eyes fixed.
I've always wondered what it would be like to be absolutely moronic.
Star wars is fricking stupid though
So it's for your intelligence level then
I just saw the last three films and they were fricking shit. Worst than marvel tho
meh, it's easy too easy to laugh at tros. you have to remember that rian randomly decided to delete all narrative threads purely in service of his own arrogance. they had to cobble together some shit for the final act and they went on some contrived macguffin chase to meet the final boss. could it have been better? maybe but who cares
They probably did and didn’t care or just thought it was great. It was written by trannies and AI. Genuinely not films.
like any of them cared
>The Force Awakens
"Okay, so we're going to do a soft reimagining of A New Hope but introduce new elements and characters. You know, reanimate the corpse of Star Wars."
>The Last Jedi
"You know what? We played it a little too safe last time. Frick it! Hire a covert troll that secretly loathes Star Wars to do the follow up. Toss everything we just did into the furnace. Actually, screw it...toss everything the original trilogy did into the furnace too. Let 'em eat cake!"
>The Rise of Skywalker
"Um, Mr. Abrams...you mind coming back? We'll pay you Bosnia's fricking deficit to try and fix things on the fly. If you reach any tricky parts regarding story or script...just fill in the gaps with AI. It'll be fine. No one will notice."
Hey reddit, thanks for the input this is really what happened.
>Force Awakens
billion dollar acquisition is contractually obligated to produce content, hundreds of millions of dollars are laundered with a bloated budget and an intentionally mean spirited and bad “film” is queeved out
>Last Jedi
no one could believe TFA was that bad and everyone thought Last Jedi would “fix” it. it didn’t and was equally bad diarrhea that everyone hated because it was written by AI to be as shitty and demoralizing as possible
>whatever the last one is called
big diarrhea splatter again by a company of trans kids pedophiles who hate Star wars, not nearly as many were tricked into seeing this contractual obligation corporate product this time and now the brand is dead and hated
Yeah, uh, you didn't discredit what I said at all by the way. You more or less agreed with it. Go to bed anon. Do us a favor.
They really wanted Star Wars to be DnD fantasy in space. So now the evil wizard king's return was foretold by a sacred special mystic dagger portraying the ruin of his old castle, but was really a map to his new location.
It doesn't make sense when you remember that Star Wars also has modern manufacturing and record keeping that does not need mystical objects, but JJ wanted an adventuring party in space searching for a wizard.
Because a macguffin-fetcher plotline is the simplest laziest way to come up with an idea for a new movie.
Dozens did, but none of these people had the clout to change course.
I haven't managed more than 20mins of the Rise of whoever.
They paid 4billions for that, fricking Disney.
3.9 billion of that was almost certainly laundered for child orgies and whatever else ~~*they*~~ get up to.
They wanted to be done with it so they didn't give a shit.
I think it's more they sincerely did not give a shit. Abrams especially clearly didn't care.
They all did. You’re not realizing that the train couldn’t stop. They had to get something out there, on time, or they were admitting that TLJ ruined everything they wanted to do. So what we get is some slapdash piece of shit filled with plot contrivances that no one will bother to remember.
Pretty hard to work on Star Wars and not think 95% of it is moronic.
A woman probably came up with it and as is traditional in modern society we pretend everything they come up with is a great idea. It's like we put our industry and society in the hands of spoiled children who assume the praise their parents showered on them is it true reflection of their capabilities.
Imagine if every child that got their picture put up on the refrigerator continue to think they were the greatest artist in the world decades after they've grown up and left home. That's what women are these days and they are this way because men made them that way with their simping and unearned praise.
i do find it interesting that we haven't seen shit from abrams since this movie came out