Why did Rebel Moon fail?
It was supposed to be Zack Snyder’s Star Wars killer and start an entire franchise
Instead it’s poorly received and can’t even get the most viewed spot on Netflix
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First numbers aren't bad and it's a mid budget production. Just baffled they made so much merchandise already.
>t's a mid budget production
Not just hte budget
>Why did Rebel Moon fail?
It got 23 million views over Christmas, and it's been the #1 streaming movie in the world for days now. In no way did it fail.
Now, did critics all pan it? Absolutely, no question, but people still did and still currently are watching the frick out of it, so in no way was it a failure
>23 million worldwide, with Netflix counting 5 seconds as a view, over a holiday weekend
it's so fricking over
>with Netflix counting 5 seconds as a view, over a holiday weekend
Lmao that's not true at all
this is the "bvs" needs to make 200 billion to brake even all over again
>It got 23 million views
What Netflix counts as a "view" is whether you have played at least 15 seconds of the movie. Everyone knows these values they report are bullshit made up to keep the investors from sperging out.
Again, see
It's literally true though.
Back when they started they were counting at least 5 minutes of watching, but after Bright flopped they decided to adjust it so the movies count as "watched" if the mute trailer played in the background on the main page, and I'm not even kidding about this, they say this is how they are "creating trends".
Cool story, shill. But 2024 is when everybody switched from Star Wars to Rebel Moon.
Is Rebel Moon not a Star Wars spinoff?
>It's literally true though.
Negative. This stuff is pretty easy to look up, so you're either being lazy or intentionally lying
https://www.thenationalnews.com/arts-culture/film-tv/2023/06/22/netflix-has-changed-the-way-it-counts-viewers-does-it-matter/
Call me when they bring back user reviews and star ratings. I won't pick up, but I'll know you called.
The movie that the Mr Robot guy directed had almost double that on its debut weekend just two weeks before.
>People watching something they've already paid for
Yeah no shit sherlock how else would people justify wasting their money
it got mega-shilled in certain test audiences, they purpose built carousels and displays that hijacked the entire front page of the Netflix app to get you to see it
Damn, you're really stupid... and really worthless.
I can tell everything about your life is trash.
Its culturally irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.
No one will talk about this show in a year as its painfully generic and uninspiring for actual kino or a unique franchise.
Its actually pretty funny to see a lot of once creative/stylistic directors fall into the slop-producing graveyard known as Netflix.
>if shit is attracting flies it means its chocolate
>these are real numbers not totally made up by netflix]
Jews will never learn. Deception just enhances detection
>Why did Rebel Moon fail?
All characters are boring and one dimensional
Plot stolen from Seven Samurai. Premise stolen from 40k and Star Wars. And by extension Dune.
Lame green screen visuals.
In that order.
bullet train, sr-71
lel
"historians" "claim" we've "lost" the recipe to greek fire... yet napalm exists?
>
"historians" "claim" we've "lost" the recipe to greek fire... yet napalm exists?
The fact that something similar in use exists, does not mean that the product is the same.
No copy of the original recipe for “Greek Fire” is known to exist.
No item on which Greek Fire was used, and which might have chemical traces of the Greek Fire, is currently known to exist, so chemical samples can’t be analyzed to determine ingredients, or at least partial ingredients, of the chemical.
The most that can be done, is to create a material that produces a similar effect to “Greek Fire”, based on the accounts that still exist of Greek Fire being used, and those accounts may be inaccurate, either due to poor descriptions, poor recollections, or non-first hand accounts of the material.
It’s sort of like all those documentaries on “how the pyramid was built” etc., were various guesses are made, based mostly on speculation.
These are good for general knowledge, but don’t really tell how the pyramids were built, they just tell how the pyramids might have been built.
My favorite the the theory about using kites to lift the stones.
So even though it seems silly, it is indeed quite accurate to say
>We dont have that ability
when asked "can you make me a pyramid like before?"
Just like it would be the correct answer to say "we dont have that tech any more" if someone asked to make a 1950s Chevy, because we dont. Those factories and machines are gone. We make McClarens now.
Only Nazi scientists can perform space science. It's a racial ability that is now lost.
> plot stolen from Seven Samurai
Why do The Magnificent Seven and A Bug's Life get a pass? The original Star Wars lifted a lot from The Hidden Fortress. Why is that okay?
TMS and Bug's Life understood what the deal is. It's not about the premise, it's about these different characters bantering and interacting and coming together. The SOUL of the concept is in the hegelian dialectic of it. And through that it resonates and speaks of humanity as a whole. These movies understood it and managed to draw out the strength of the concept through characters people cared about.
In Snyder's movie who the frick cares about any of these jabronis. You don't see them banter or react or be human beings, they're like recruitable npcs in a game where after the initial recruitment they have nothing to say and just stand there in a stock idling animation before the inevitable flashy combat initiates.
Completely soulless and devoid of anything that made the initial story/concept interesting.
Seven Samurai is such a great movie/story that it's hard to frick it up. I can't believe Snyder took an easy premise with defined character-types and prepacked banter that's been proven to work many times and just fumbles it.
Because they're good films on their own that at least capture the spirit of Seven Samurai. Rebel Moon is like Snyder stealing the frame work but forgetting to actually make the characters that made Seven Samurai work so well. Magnificent Seven, A Bug's Life, and A New Hope with Hidden Fortress are all good, stand alone films that you don't need to watch the original Kurosawa films to get. Rebel Moon tries to do what A New Hope did with Hidden Fortress by lifting the narrative frame of Seven Samurai but rips the soul out of it to get to the action.
Star Wars was always hammy but it remembers to wink at the audience every once in a while. It's self-conscious. It's just stupid fun and it knows it, the audience knows it.
Magnificent Seven, always thought it was overrated. Pointless, when Seven Samurai exists.
I don't know who gave fricking bug's life the pass.
Rebel Moon is like Star Wars except it takes itself seriously. It expects you to take it seriously, but that just raises the question, why? There's truck loads of far better serious sci-fi out there. Even if you just want a recent movie that's like "Star Wars but for grownups" Villeneuve's Dune fills that niche better than this steaming pile does.
I find it shocking that Snyder is inspired by fantasy covers and bisley art and stuff like that but he doesn't get that most of it was highly satirical and pure camp.
He simply does not register it at all and thinks it's all played straight.
He even managed to transpose this weird mindset into his DCU movies. Every character was just super serious and pensive the entire time, just flexing or brooding, everything deadly serious. Superman looked like he was about to kill himself at any moment and Batman like he's about to nuke the entire city because he can't stand fighting crime anymore. He simply views these characters as continuously posing beings with a set of superpowers but no personality whatsoever. There is no conversation to be had at all, they just exist to pose meaningfully.
>Snyder is inspired by fantasy covers and bisley art and stuff like that
That actually sounds cool and I'd love to watch a movie based on that stuff, I just didn't get it from watching Rebel Moon at all.
To me it just looked like some uninspired blend of Star Wars and Firefly with a few goofy discount Warhammer characters thrown in.
It's just due to every special effect these days being just sloppy shit.
All the backgrounds are cgi and then you depend on some farmed out company to actually get it right and not to halfass it.
The artstation hires just make generic safe designs that look sleek but are just boring.
Even the quality of props is abysmal these days. If they even bother making something tangible and not just cgi it in there's also a lack of proper talent so it all looks generic and stock.
I can't remember, for instance, a single outfit out of this movie.
Only those techpriests and maybe the asian woman's hat (looked like Hardy's from Taboo).
The rest is entirely forgettable crap they likely had just sitting around the studio.
I also remember the villain guy literally just wearing a shirt and a tie to the final confrontation of the movie. I guess Snyder thought it was cool or something.
This is what you get for not having a STRONG lead designer that knows what he's doing.
>I can't remember, for instance, a single outfit out of this movie.
I remember the over-the-top nazi getups of the villains because the shot where they were introduced made me burst out laughing.
Only part of the movie where I laughed, or felt anything at all really.
The soldiers armor was pretty cool. Not well lit or detailed for film, but it's upthere. Reminds me of galactic heroes, or nuDune.
Why wouldn't it
Literally everything about it failed except for maybe costume design.
Oh look another rebel moon is bad and a failure thread. Making false claims to create false consensus. The bots are hard at work.
Ironic
YWNBAH (you will never be a human).
>a warnermedia report reveals
how much do they pay you for these posts, shlomo
>Call me when they bring back user reviews and star ratings. I won't pick up, but I'll know you called.
It still astounds me that schumer getting shat on of all things took this from us
Every poster I have seen for this looked like some kind of mockup you'd see between porn on DeviantArt made by a guy named Bl4d3_M45T3R
>Instead it’s poorly received and can’t even get the most viewed spot on Netflix
It's literally #1 on Netflix right now
>It's literally #1 on Netflix right now
There's something super fricky about this though, unless Netflix changed their metrics, because usually the #1 has a reach upwards of 50M impressions, even the awful Witcher spin-off had ~70M impressions. 23M is not quite good at all.
>Why did Rebel Moon fail?
Call us when it flops so bad it's actually affecting the stock market, like Disney's The Marvels.
It just looks so dull and uninspired. Like someone fed an AI prompt and then gave it to Zach Snyder. Apparently this is “original” work by him but the only thing original about it is how utterly bland it is
No. Show me a single movie that looks like it.
it looks like a chinese artstation page
That's not what I asked for. The qualifier is movie.
your qualifier is erroneous
not looking like one other movie does not magically make it look good
the qualifier itself is a negative
>it's so generic that no other movie looks like it
Yeah... Now the goalpost has shifted from generic to not good, I guess. You're full of shit. Leave my board.
>little cucky is mad that I effortlessly btfo'd his fallacious non-argument
seethe harder oldcuck, we just raped your entire family lmfao
>the goalpost has shifted
NTA, but it didnt. The question was
>WHY did it fail?
The answer was
>It's dull and uninspired
(Derivative might have been a better word, it is very clearly "inspired" by other works in the sense that it blatantly lifts from them, but uninspired in the sense that the director had no creative ideas/inspiration to add.)
The challenge to which was
>No other movie looks like it
And retorted
>It doesnt have to look like another movie, it looks like generic sci-fi image as found in some AI generator (I'm guessing that's what artstation is)
The goalpost of "dull and uninspired" hasnt changed. Anon was instead countering the idea that it isnt uninspired because other movies do not look like it with the assertion that what it looks like are other sources.
Now you both can call me a homosexual and get back to your argument.
Every single new Star Wars movie has the same sterile costume work and bland themes. The new dune movies are the worst offenders but this might take the cake
Dunc and Disney Wars are ugly, yes. Rebel Moon does look different though.
>plot
Yes, both of those movies look like Rebel Moon. They have the same set pieces, the same character types, the same scenes.
looks like a soulless cgi cutscene
wtf lol I thought this dunc
also looks shitty like that wachowski "brothers" scifi movie jupiter (or whatever it was called lol) and "the creator" too
>computer, invent your best uninspired stock collage
>someone thought this looked good enough to make a collage
lol
Agreed it's nothing special. But curious - of all those pics, which would you say is best the ice cracks IMO and which is the worst? the blocked eclipse
DUNC needs to steal some of the planetscapes from Rebel Moon. Rebel Moon almost feels like a Genndy Tartakovsky episode in a few of the establishing shots. I just wish the actual movie had the same level of beauty and color, rather than being a bad episode of Farscape.
Seven Samurai and The Magnificent Seven
>Brown people everywhere
>Your white guy is the charisma void Charlie Hunnam.
DoA
>ugly mystery meat woman protag in an action scifantasy adventure
wow I'm so surprised this flopped
>flopped
Sit down. Be humble. Cope. Seethe if it helps.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/news/zack-snyders-rebel-moon-delivers-solid-debut-for-netflix/ar-AA1m3VNF
Yes we already established the terrible viewcount despite Netflix's manipulation, anon
23 million is average, did they change the algorithm for selecting the number 1? Almost every other big release they had this year had better reach
Shadow & Bone Season 2 had 291M and it got cancelled due to low viewership. There's literally no way to spin Rebel Moon as a success.
I told you to cope, and you didn't let me down.
Witcher: Blood Origin, which has amazing 9% score on Rotten Tomatoes, got 3x the viewership of Rebel Moon in its first week. The low budget shit spin-off that got random release with no promotion did better than Zack Snyder's newest turd.
There's 0 chance Rebel Moon is actually #1 on the holiday weekend with viewership this low, Netflix is trying to gaslight everyone into watching this piece of shit.
Quick, somebody call the cyberpolice...gay Sherlock Holmes just cracked the case.
Even if you would consider that the values for RM actually count only people who watched the movie in its entirety, 23M views would amount to 46M hours, which is 20M less than Blood Origin got, and that b***h was considered an absolute failure. There's just no way Netflix considers Rebel Moon to be a success of any sort.
If you loaded up the Netflix homescreen they count it as you having fully watched all the movies and shows displayed on it.
But that's wrong Ranjesh. Views are calculated based on hours watched/runtime.
>trusting company released numbers stock valuation and royalties payouts are relied upon for
>thinks they make up shit wholecloth
>still trusting the figures they release when it suits you
Are you stupid or something?
>still trusting the figures they release when it suits you
nta and never said I trusted them at all
>thinks they make up shit wholecloth
never said that either, I said they're unreliable
if it was total falsehood someone would call them out on it easily, but they're definitely not accurate, they're used to calculate too many important things for accuracy
Anon you can literally check out the values if you want from any week in the past in the web app, they report millions of hours, not "watches".
The "watches" are actually a typo or misrepresentation of some editor that morons here kept repeating, Netflix only reports millions of hours, so yeah The Witcher spin-off was two times as popular than Rebel Moon.
Three times, actually
Snydertrannies BTFO
This must be real bad with a score makeup like that, can't think of the right word, the way its mostly 5s and 1s. I would trust the 1s a lot more.
>The fantasy series hit the streamer's English-language TV chart at No. 2 for the week of March 13-19, tallying 50.4M hours viewed in the days since its March 16 debut. It struggles to hold a flame to the 64.1M hours viewed that You Season 4 drew during that week.
>50.4M hours
So... S&B S2 was TWICE as popular and got canceled due to bad viewership. Rebel Moon is an absolute flop, what the frick. Snyder must be on suicide watch at this point.
>S&B S2
>24m views per episode over a 6 month span
>Rebel Moon
>23m views during Christmas week even despite it being hammered by reviews
We'll just have to see what kind of staying power it has now.
Because i'll just wait for director's cut and part 2 in april
>these are the imperial troops from planet Imperius, the seat of the imperial empire
>they are all dressed in imperial clothes and also have roman names
>these are a rebel faction called the rebels, they come from a planet rebelia, that is currently rebelling against the empire
>these are farmers from the farmlands of Farmia, they all look like farmers and they farm grain
>this is a robot made for warfare, he is a roboticus mechanicus from the factories of factoria mechanica robotica, he is made for war but he doesn't want to fight, he also fights amazingly well and kills people in a cool way
>this is a shirtless tarzano from the planet tarzania, he has long hair and is good with animals, here he tames a gryphon also from the planet tarzania which is also known in the old tongue as gryphonia, because it has gryphons, he's good at taming them
But this is outright trying to be an alt Star Wars, lol, it's exactly on point
Like it's not even trying to pretend it's not an edgelordy Star Wars ripoff, especially with the NC-17 cut
>he is a roboticus mechanicus from the factories of factoria mechanica robotica
Star Wars as a brand has been getting poisoned by yidsney for years so even things trying to be alternatives to that are going to suffer
The time for it was years ago, around TLJ and ROTS
The story and journey brings nothing new to the table. It has been done and told a million times. This was a very poor attempt and executed very badly.
Stories where the Director wants the viewers to go on a dangerous journey with the characters of the movie. Lord Of The Rings has done it best in my opinion. The several journeys that took place were all interesting and un-predictable. Such stories/movies are great when executed perfectly. But nowdays too many directors have tried and failed. The Creator where the storyline is also going on a dangerous journey, was also done very good. It was original in it's way because the movie and syory was very fast paced. (Some may say too fast.)
Zach Snyder failed to show a captivating story. The actors were there to get paid and not to put a great performance. Snyder also failed horrible by putting the bad guy in a German Nazi uniform. Are we still doing the "bad German Nazi guy" thing? That shit has been played out. Move on and come up with something NEW or stay at home and stop making garbage like this.
>This was a very poor attempt and executed very badly.
Explain how...cite an example. You can't, because you're a shill who didn't even see it.
>Plucky, ethnically diverse band of rebels are the good guys no matter what they blow up in the name of their vague cause of "rebellion"
>Government is bad because... it just is, ok?
>Church is le SCARY and EVIL
None of these themes have ever been done before, bravo Snyder
There was a church? I'm pretty sure the closest we got to a church was the robot explaining how he and all his race were indoctrinated/programmed with a meme about some future savior being born into the royal family, and then she got assassinated by Kora.
Yes but it's explicitly a compromised one. Pretty sure he's got that stuff straight from Campbell.
I thought the guys in red were doctors based off how they were asking whether to stabilize Noble at the ending or not.
Frick, just kill off Noble and let his less insane second-in-command kill off the cast in Part 2.
They are so called scribes.
A possible reading of the crown of thorns placed on the skull with the context provided
>“Your DNA stores information,” Snyder explains. “You are put in stasis if you’re a page, and your body just becomes like a hard drive. The Scribes have the ability to transfer what they see. That’s how history is recorded by the Mother World. You can plug into those things later, and you experience the history as a memory. But the Scribes, of course, are manipulated by politics, and they write down only what they’re supposed to.”
is that what the scribes are doing is placing a crown of thorns on history, on truth, on that which the dead know, on the human body through inserting DNA with faulty information, but I don't think I like it.
Issa resurrecting the bird is a motif of Jesus in Islam. He did that and was also betrayed, assinated.
The movie doesn't make sense because it's code for the third temple.
Part two will have the girl not actually dead, somehow. Just watch.
Jews gonna israelite.
>Part two will have the girl not actually dead, somehow. Just watch.
Of course she's not dead. She's the young woman in that village that placed the wreath of flowers on the robot's head.
wow thats a crazy coincidence what a small universe!
My God. He might be dumb enough to do that.
It would undercut the entire redemption/robot-finding-its-humanity arc. Why did Simone Biles hangout with her for years and not recognize her.
It's a Shyamalan like twist. He might just do it.
That would explain why Hopkinsbot was willing to kill to protect her. Since it's his job to defend the royal bloodline.
>The movie doesn't make sense because it's code for the third temple.
What's with the schizomaxxing there?
Star Wars was the creative vision of an auteur director
All this other shit is slop
>the first Star Wars was the creative vision of an auteur director
>Everything past the second was slop
ftfy
The entire movie is grotesquely stupid.
>comically evil galaxy-spanning empire chances upon a tiny village that has like 15 people and three houses
>they bully the locals a bit because the imperials are cartoonishly evil
>the farmers then, instead of simply ... moving somewhere out of the way or hiding or evacuating or whatever decide to make a stand
>make a stand.... against the ship that can annihilate them through orbital bombardment
>to that end they send out two people to "assemble a team"
>the team consists of multiple dodgy characters, none of which can do frick all against orbital bombardment
Oh yeah, the imperials needed that village because, get this ... they needed grain.
Even though the imperials obviously can zip around many start systems and stock up anywhere, even though they likely wouldn't even go on a mission without stocking up at their home base ... nope, they needed to stock up in grain on the go in whatever tiny village they can find.
You just don't get it
>>the team consists of multiple dodgy characters, none of which can do frick all against orbital bombardment
At least in Battle Beyond the Stars the mercenaries they hire have spaceships.
>one of the badasses they recruit is an assassin who has killed several high ranking imperial officers
>they don't just have her assassinate the admiral, since apparently this would cause the ship to be recalled to the mother world and would solve all their problems
>instead they insist on playing out the Seven Samurai plot for no reason
>instead they insist on playing out the Seven Samurai plot for no reason
Honestly that would have been a hilarious subversion of the story frame.
>Hire mercenary engineer to frick up the ship and delay their return
>Hire assassin to take out some key officials
>Hire lawyer to gum up the political aspects
>Hire PR expert doing pro bono to ruin their local support
>Hire influencer to instigate grassroots acts of rebellion and protest
>Hire newspaper to constantly be putting out propaganda and yellow journalism against the Imperials
>Convince enlisted Imperial to switch sides and start a union strike on the ship
Take the whole "gathering a team" bit but go in avenues that are all completely avoidant of the final battle.
Don't worry, in part 2 almost dies in the actual attack on the farming settlement. The few survivors go on to rally the moon to fight back because otherwise everyone is going to die when their planet gets razed, only for everyone to die when Belisarius shows up in person to destroy the moon. But the story of the Rebel Moon spreads and the whole empire erupts in revolution.
Oh yes, of course.
They are the spark that will light the fire that will burn the Empire down.
how silly of me to not remember.
Its almost like Snyder is shilling for Big Grain
>soldiers killing people??? it's cartoonishly evil!!
>nope, they needed to stock up in grain on the go in whatever tiny village they can find.
lol read a book about any war ever
>a spaceship that has the capability to zip around any planet and raze it whenever needs to negotiate a grain deal with a village of 10 people
it took like 30 minutes to tell them to harvest the grain for them or get btfo
The movie is so stupid it's almost comical.
>very large imperial ship
>has only one turret that pokes out of the side
>the very large imperial ship hides behind a building so the rebels can't see it
>just the turret pokes out and starts firing
>"oh no the imperials are here"
>main rebel guy jumps up to get to the turret
>uses a spear to punch through the glass of the turret that was meant to withstand space travel
>kills the turret guy, who is ALSO the main pilot for the entire very large imperial ship
>ship immediately starts falling out of control
>gryphon tamer is working off his debt
>his boss is fair and they have a mutual understanding
>oh btw let's make a bet, tame the gryphon and you'll have your freedom
>the "farm" is like two houses, did they never thought of this before the main characters arrived?!
>anyway since he actually comes from a people of gryphon tamers he tames the gryphon
>boss says fair deal thank you so much
>they part amicably
>boss tries to ride gtyphon, which kills him immediately
>shirtless guy turns around and goes "HAHAHAH LOSER" and departs
I didn't watch it but your post made me laugh out loud.
Reading about sneedershit is more entertaining than anything he ever did
I too was baffled by the recruiting scenes. The truly bizarre thing is they devote so much time to showing this tamer guy's skills and then he never tames another animal in the film. In fact he does absolutely nothing.
The one that takes the cake though is the recruitment of General Titus.
>early on Kora says "we have to get General Titus, he is this super mega bad ass and a genius who defied the imperium!"
>hear about how he killed a bounty hunter who chased him and stuck his head on a spike outside the Colosseum, total bad ass
>he's gonna be the hardest guy to recruit right?
>he's a fat old drunk sleeping in the gutter outside the Colosseum
>they literally just pick him up out of the gutter
>later we see him getting some kind of bath, scrubbed down by some weird alien slave in this huge vaulted chamber
>he's just standing there on a plinth in the middle of a huge chamber getting his body loofahed up by some dude in a face mask
>is this how they treat drunkards lying in the gutter here? I have no idea
>then proceeds to have one of the worst, most stilted conversations I've ever heard with Kora
>GO LET ME DIE IN PEACE
>old homie bellows
>BUT WHAT IF IT IS FOR VENGEANCE? Kora implores showing emotion for the first time in the film
>old homie looks at her like she just spoke in tongues, eyes bulging
>smash cut to him with a new haircut and slightly less ragged clothes
I burst out laughing. The stupidest thing is, rounding up all these dudes was apparently an elaborate scheme by Kai to collect valuable bounty heads to turn over to the imperium, and he literally could've just scooped up Titus at any time from the gutter at virtually no risk. He knew where he was already, and dude was lying stoned on the street, didn't give a frick.
Don't forget
>the Castor arena on the moon of Pollux
I bet Zack thought that was so highbrow
Wait is this a real line? I thought that was a meme.
>In fact he does absolutely nothing.
That's everybody except Kai and... Graham? Was that the farmer's name? Literally nobody did anything besides Bloodaxe dying doing his thing.
>That's everybody except Kai and... Graham? Was that the farmer's name? Literally nobody did anything besides Bloodaxe dying doing his thing.
Yes, but he had like the most obvious special skill that they took the effort to show in action, and then he... does nothing. General Titus also did zero generalling, he just fired a gun a couple times in a fight. Assassin never assassinated anyone. Also, regarding her, she had laser swords the whole time but refused to use them against the spider monster for no reason I can think of. Like she forgot how they work I think.
I thought General Titus had an army and everything based off what Kora said in her first scene. Then he's some washed-up suicidal gladiator? It was so weird.
>>the very large imperial ship hides behind a building so the rebels can't see it
I assumed the building WAS the ship, and the rebels just ignored it because they thought it was just part of the trade port. Was it actually hiding?
Yeah it was hiding behind a building and nobody noticed it.
Where did the building go when the ship got brought crashing down then?
I also didn't realize the turret gunner was also the pilot. When Bloodaxe fell on the joystick I didn't understand why the camera focused on it. I can kind of understand it if the guy in the turret is the only guy left on the ship so they slaved the pilot controls to his console but it was HUGE fricking ship.
guy turns around and goes "HAHAHAH LOSER" and departs
wtf was the moral or lesson here? the homosexual was in debt, he made a deal and his debt was forgiven at the end of the completion of said deal. what the frick was the issue here that is indeed how a loan is supposed to operate or is snyder just that /misc/ tier moronic that all loans are now israeli tricks
The noble savage was muscular, fit and capable.
The hick was fat, white and not capable.
So he deserved to day and the noble savage was right to mock him.
That's it.
Pad pacing, disjointed and disconnected scenes, repetitive action sequences, overly shallow and "we SO evil" baddies, graphics that I honestly felt would fit in something like Lexx.
Feels like he took a great frame of a story - Seven Samurai defend the village - and he couldnt fill it out with scenes that naturally connect and with characters that can dialogue and have rationales. We get
>this is the MC, shes the strong woman as is required
>this is Beastmaster, watch his style of badass
>now this is Katana, dont get on her badass mother side
>this is Gladiator...we ran out of time to showcase his badass scene but he's half naked Djimon so you know he is
Very pinbally, almost like Guy Ritchie and his "skip the boring connection scenes and get to the action" but without the snappy pep of his cinematography.
The connection between guy Ritchie and zack Snyder is certainly there it’s a good observation.
I thought the Ritchie king Arthur movie was garbage but it's head and shoulders above slop like this.
Yeah, the Arthur "lets just montage and voice-over the actual plot and skip to the final fight" and also a similar bit with the infiltration scene in Man From UNCLE.
Ritchie is often skipping plot to get to the good bits, but he does it with a signature and entertaining editing style like smash cuts or split screens or some other deliberate visual form of "yadda yadda yadda."
The characters are so stereotyped lol
>Brown noble savage beastmaster
>Asian woman with swords because she's like that
>Black man slave gladiator
The dynamic of the MC mutt getting picked up by the blooddrunk general is at least interesting
>the drednaught that casually orbitaly bombards planets and wipes them out needs a modest amount of grain from the grain planet to keep operating
Why didn't they just ... buy or take food from someplace else. Do they have a bakery on board they need to replenish?
>all the main characters are captured easily and locked into bounty hunter devices
>total and utter defeat in the first serious situation they're in
>maybe if they got some strategic or tactical device from the general this wouldn't have happened
>nope, he didn't offer any advice whatsoever
>anyway the badguys get cuck skywalker to use the cattle-knocker to kill them, because it would be funny
>the cattle-knocker actually is ALSO the key to the entire restraint system and within seconds every main character is free
>all this time there were hundreds of imperials standing around them doing nothing, with guns trained on them and not firiing
>bad solo gets killed off right away
>it's okay though because hunnam said he has a twin brother with an eyepatch that will show up seeking revenge in the next movie
Thank you Zack
Checked.
>>it's okay though because hunnam said he has a twin brother with an eyepatch that will show up seeking revenge in the next movie
He DID? Totally missed that.
Is this better or worse than Cameron's
>oh, well, we totally could bring you back from the dead because we have this tech that no one mentioned in the first film...
>why didnt we just do this with Jake's dead brother instead of transporting a cripple?...uhm...
>le heckin diverse cast
>strong wahman of color protagonist
>White man bad
>CGI slop overload
>moronic hack directing
>produced by israeliteflix
Gee who could have guessed this would be shit
>man these imperials are cartoonishly evil
>I wonder what their leader is like if this general is already such an unhinged psycho
>emperor reveal
>it's some 20 year old looking guy with an amazingly fake beard with a funny irish accent
Do Kai and him come from the same Eireland planet? The plot deepens!
Too much weird sex shit. Star Wars is family friendly with wholesome simple themes.
He's pandering to those who complained that George never grew the maturity level of the series with the audience, especially with the PT he actually seemed to make it simpler, aim it to younger kids than the first
But the NC-17 cut isn't even out yet and that's supposed to be far edgier
>Too much weird sex shit
Eh? It was rated PG-13. Honestly that was the moment my expectations lowered. Before I saw anything in the actual movie, I knew it was gonna be watered down and boring. Zack Snyder really needs a hard R rating to be interesting.
homie ain't nobody gonna watch this with their kids when there's like 4 attempted rapes and the darth vader character is into getting tentacled
Exactly my point, should've just ditched the sissy safe-for-teens rating and gone full R-rated if they were gonna make it kinky.
the film literally opens with a giant penis ship raping the galaxy through a pussy shaped wormhole
>the bad guys are nazis
>again
Fricking BORING.
The bad guys are space Romans coded as fascists. Nary a toga to be seen, but plenty of 20th century style military uniforms reminiscent of Hugo Boss.
>they're NOT nazis, they're just 20th century fascists in hugo boss uniforms
that's literally what nazis were
They were Roman, though, and had inexplicable Irish accents.
Nah, just generic fascists. Whenever you do coded as Nazis there's some kind of very obvious parallel to their hatred of israelites, like human supremacy or persecution of a particular group. That's what they ended up doing with Star Wars and the Empire. These guys don't seem to have any specific agenda beyond being huge dicks to everyone for no reason. They don't seem to persecute any one group in particular, they just pillage and destroy everything for shits and giggles.
>They don't seem to persecute any one group in particular, they just pillage and destroy everything for shits and giggles.
They missed the chance to make them Space Mongols
That actually would make a lot more sense, you wouldn't even have to change much about the movie and it would instantly make more sense.
>the Great Space Khan sends his trusted general to collect tribute from the outlying systems, to reaffirm his dominance over space
>this man is a blunt instrument who only knows how to loot and destroy, his methods are brutal and sadistic, inspiring terror wherever he goes
>several people harmed by this creature rally together to fight against him, in so doing pitting themselves against the Space Horde
>They don't seem to persecute any one group in particular, they just pillage and destroy everything for shits and giggles.
They lost their roots when they overthrew the royal family and their virtuousness declined as a consequence.
No, the whole point of the MCs character was that the empire was shit when the royal family was still around.
Nope. The point was that the empire wasn't in a great shape but that the princess Issa would have restored it, which didn't happen because the king and his family got murdered by traitors and then everything turned to total shit.
Did you watch the movie? All of the MCs backstory in the Astra Militarium where she had "love beaten out of her" and was going from planet to planet killing and conquering was when the royal family was still around.
Under whose direct command did Kora/Arthelais serve?
The general and the King, the princess's father.,,
You know how these things go. Snyder definitely criticizes the expansionism, that's why you've got spaceship coming through vegana portal but the king isn't portrayed as a particularly bad person and his daughter even as a miracle worker. I think one of the story bits was that his daughter's birth softened the king's heart.
>As a child, Kora’s life was spared by Balisarius and he adopted her as his own daughter.
>Balisarius named her Arthelais and taught her the hard lessons of war.
>Kora attended the Academy Militarium and was remade in the image of her adoptive father.
>At the age of 18, she was made an officer, given a command, and fought for the king under the banner of the army that murdered her family.
>Following Kora’s military success, Balisarius engineered an appointment to act as Royal Seneschal and bodyguard to the king’s daughter, the Princess Issa.
>Issa was called the Chalice, the Redeemer, the Lifesaver — a divine being born of flesh and blood who was said to have the power to restore life.
>The galaxy’s faithful believe that Issa could usher in a new age of peace and compassion after years of war.
>Issa’s benevolent influence over her once-fearsome father frightened his warmongering allies, and the ambitions of Balisarius overrode his loyalty to the king. The coup struck with fury, with Kora as the tip of the sword, and the world was forever changed.
>Not in the film
Not canon. Nvm that the one interesting thing about Ballisarius, that he "wanted someone to share his pain" when he adopted Korra, isn't explored or explained at all by this coup.
General Bellasarius, who served the King, apparently fine with his sadistic, murderous rampage across space.
Seriously, did you actually watch the movie you're trying to defend? Yes or no, the royal family was in charge during the MCs background up the coup?
Yes. And? Being in charge doesn't mean there are no bad actors somewhere in the chain of command. And I'm not saying the king is portrayed as an exemplary leader. I'm saying he isn't portrayed as evil.
>I'm saying he isn't portrayed as evil.
Yes, that's the problem. He is evil, and is shown doing evil things, but the movie tells us he was some Aragon type wise noble king and him dying is what sent the empire down a bad path.
The problem is you, anon.
They are all white males. Boutela was an ex-imperial but that can be explained by purging of all undesirable elements until they're all white males.
Also they made a point out of killing that "rich alien" that also was hiding undesirables on his planet. That's enough of a parallel.
Also, the THIRD Reich was a claimed continuation of the Holy Roman Empire. So nazis were always larping as having roman roots, despite the HRE being a germanic thing, with just the roman names pasted on.
Mythos with out myth.
>It's Seven Samurai meets Dune
Why would I watch some Frankenstein's monster shit when I can watch the stuff it ripped off which are better in every way.
>Reddit director
>Reddit plot
>Reddit actors
It's all the goyslop in a single film
>ship capable of orbital bombarment goes down when an african chief thrust a stick through a window
Is this the dumbest moment in science fiction?
that wasn't the orbital bombardment ship, just a large lesser ship
the only reason they're hyping up the drednaught is because the main characters are OBVIOUSLY going to commandeer it and use the vegana portals to go back to the imperial throne world so boutela can kill the emperor in single combat in front of the senate
It should've been one movie.
Skip the farming village, who cares.
Focus on Boutela as she witnesses what the Empire has become (they were noble when she was still a member) and then she snaps and gets a few of her old colleagues together to overthrow it.
That way the agency is on her and her group to go against insurmountable odds to set everything right.
Instead all this over one shipment of grain.
These threads are entirely composed of giant shill farms hired out by competing megacorps (Disney and Warner) and an entire host of their bots running off ChatGPT fighting each other.
Honest discussion on Cinemaphile is now impossible. Honest reviews are now impossible. There is no humanity left, it's bots and humans more soulless than bots fighting over the last shekel before the entire system crashes next year.
The entire internet is functionally dead.
You can't think of a single genuinely good thing about this movie instead you just accuse everyone of being bots.
>Snyder makes (another) bad movie and people have fun riffing on it
>no, it's a giant conspiracy they spend millions of dollars to pay hundreds of people to make fun of this bad movie!
>nobody would make fun of it otherwise!
yeah okay
>we pay.
Nah we pay propaganda is funded by our taxes. Aint a poltard but this is pretty evident that all tgese studioes are subsidized, the only answer is conspiracy.
It failed because it was ahead of its time
Unironically. People have giant holes in their hearts and we're in steep cultural decline.
This movie couldn’t be more representative of that hole. There is zero human element in this movie. It feels 100% AI generated, from the script to the finished product. Snyder seems like a decent guy, but I don’t know how anyone can feel inspired by this. It couldn’t be any more generic and lacking in imagination. I agree with what you said, but how could you see this movie as an answer to that?
It's just the fast paced action cut of a Zack Snyder movie. He's trying to do monomyth stuff here and I appreciate the effort. The extended cut will probably be both much better and but also worse in some ways (worse mainly because of the vulgarity). Even the girl boss character is likely (same as the empire in the movie universe) gender unbalanced, meaning Kora is overwhelmingly male despite being a woman, so she has to learn how to become a woman (akin to something like Violet Evergarden) and as for the empire there's also this loss of feminine qualities, which is why you have the promised princess, who is supposed to balance things out.
snyder is a talented moron
he should be used sparingly, only at what he's good at
it honestly deserves to fail. its so bad.
i like snyders earlier movies, but this is badly written, mind bogglingly derivative even for him, poorly acted, has subpar effects and generic or ripped off design all over the place, and hyper indulgent camera work that borders on self parody.
if this is finally "zach snyder with no one to tell him no" then maybe he shouldnt be allowed free reign anymore, this is truly bad, with few redeeming qualities.
>hyper indulgent camera work
Honestly none of the camera work was even good. It was self-indulgent? Only if Snyder has the cinematic sense of the average tiktoker. Compared to 300 or Watchmen the camera work is so fricking bad.
it reminded me of trying to watch that show copenhagen cowboy last year. the director is absolutely in love with this slow rotating circular pan (i dont know the technical name for it) and he does it over and over and over to the point of ad nauseum, i swear one of the pans lasted a full minute. there is a point where overindulgence in style or specific camera trick is a hinderance to the film and not a benefit, and this movie was well past that. and i say that as a general fan of zach snyders slow motion style. the shots in 300 were some of my favorite and he tries to replicate some of them in this movie, but its just too much, and the angles are bad, the shots go on too long, and they are too out of focus
i dont even hate the slow mo within slow mo, that was a cool shot, but the 5 minutes of slow mo running leading up to it killed the momentum of the scene
It worked in 300 because the entire movie was obviously hyperstylized and meant to be presented as a myth, so using that kind of film language techniques works well with the subject matter.
Tarsem is another filmmaker that overuses hyperstylization in his approach and he picks projects where it works with the story being told.
But in this case something is amiss, if you want to have people commit to a 4-6 hour sprawling epic it can't be presented as a music video. You just end up not caring because why would you care about characters that are reduced to tropes and move like they're in a music video ... for 3+ hours.
Even that starting village looked bizarre, three cgi houses, 10-15 people, all walking around in clothes that look like costumes, everything just looks like some high shool musical set, talking like braindead NPCs.... why would anyone care about what happens to them?!
This movie feels like he had nobody to tell him not to use slo-mo, or maybe in 300 and Watchmen he had leash-holders who gave him a "slo-mo allowance" and he could use it so many times in the film so he had to really think about where it would have impact. But here he slo-mos in the middle of a scene that's already slo-mo, it's fricking ridiculous.
iirc the only two pure Zack movies are Sucker Punch and this and they're both amazingly shallow. Basically just a special effects demo reel.
In every other case he works with preexisting content so most of the work is already done for him. Watchmen and 300 in particular were already pretty much storyboarded for him so hard to frick that up.
With MoS he already started inserting black flying dicks and moron-level imagery like Superman standing in front of a Jesus stained glass window.
He should just team up with some proper storyboard artist and writer because he can't be trusted making his own decisions.
>Why did Rebel Moon fail?
Grrl Power wokeslop full of brownshits and a blatant ripoff of Star Wars which is also Grrl Power wokeslop full of brownshits.
>a blatant ripoff of Star Wars
It ripped off a few things, really. Seven Samurai, WH40k, A New Hope... probably others but those are the most obvious.
I thought the imperial fleet got abandoned and failing to shake down the farmers made him feel inadequate
You know what this movie needed? DUTCH ANGLES. The Bloodaxes already looked like Psychlos, why didn't Snyder rip off more from Battlefield Earth so that at least the movie would have some good-looking action shots?
ok look I watched this over the weekend and here is my take as someone who has a 4 digit get on Cinemaphile: they kept introducing characters with no backstory. that was my gripe. there was very little indication of why or how they got from place to place to collect their rebels, and when they did, I didn't know why these people in particular. and then it was over.
I'm halfway through watching it rn. The script is like a 14 year old boy taking his favorite bits from Star Wars, LOTR, Quentin Tarantino movies and cobbling it together into a "new" film. It's got the most uninspired, boring, derivative worldbuilding. The action sequences are over-choreographed bullshit that was done better 20 years ago, only with Rebel Moon you don't care about any of the collections of cliches that pass as characters(muh strong female protagonist, etc), so they are completely unengaging and you zone out halfway through. If this was supposed to kill Star Wars, maybe Hack Snyder should have tried not cloning it.
It's literally as if written by a 14 year old
>character shows up
>immediately explains who they are and what their powers are
>whoever they are meeting also explains who they are and what their backstory is
>no further conversation
>cut to new location
>new character shows up
>they explain who they are and what their powers are
>everyone nods
>cut to bad guy
>bad guy is doing some bad thing while being extra evil to establish that he is actually evil
>he states loudly that he is evil and will continue doing evil things
Literally everyone just vocalizes who they are and what their skillset is and that's the extent of any kind of conversation anyone ever has.
Anon it is for kids even the swearing
Midwits like these being semi-literate is one of the least acknowledged problems of our age.
If they're midwits then you're a halfwit, as are most of Snyder's fans, for defending dreck like this.
I turned off when this scene came up.
I don't even remember this. Why are you taking photos with your phone? Why are you posting with your phone?
I live underneath a bridge and browse with my phone.
I think it's fake, but it's very sad how believable it is for that line to be in the movie.
The movie is #1 everywhere
I will defend Snyder on everything but this. 300? Masterpiece. Watchmen? 10/10 kino. I even really liked the new army of the dead, but this shit. Diversity Moon was a fricking stinker.
>there's a king out there that rules the galaxy
>he only has one warship and one general and so few men that the general has to get out at farms to ask for bread himself
>and he will be stopped
>by 6 or so very diverse nobodies
Actually Noble is an Admiral. Bellasarius and Titus were Generals. I'm not sure what the distinction there is, because the Imperium didn't seem to have different branches of its military.
All non bot in this thread now this was kino of the highest order
Probably the best space opera movie from the last 10 years
>last 10 years
>mfw John Carter came out in 2012
You are correct.
>we assembled a team of the most capable people this side of the galaxy
>including the leader of the rebellion
>they all get captured instantly
>only saved because the devices they were restrained by use the same thing to execute and release them and the badguys gave that device to one of the main characters
here's an idea. Why not make .... idk one hundred of those bountyhunter strap restraint droids and then just like ...have them swarm the good guys. Apparently they strap you in within half a second so there's no way to defend from that if there are ... wait no... better yet if the badguys knew where the good guys were assembling why not just bombard them from orbit... wait no ... if they already knew that the good guys are headed for that village and are all going to be there, why not bombard them from orbit there?
>if they already knew that the good guys are headed for that village and are all going to be there, why not bombard them from orbit there?
Because they wanted to bring the corpse as proof
Did you even watch the film ?
Speedwatcher struck again lol
>pay Kai his bounty anyway
>tell emperor guy his enemies were destroyed in orbital bombardment
there, solved. it's not like the imperial general guy was acting rationally anyway and not like a total roided out psycho the entire time
might as well release the prisoners and have rope-tugging competition with them while you're at it to make it extra fair
>the corporations are lying, don't trust them
>except when what they say supports my narrative
nice cope
By making a PG-13 "theatrical cut" Snyder deliberately sabotaged his own IP right out the gate. Don't fall for your own hype, especially when that hype is astroturfed. That's the lesson here.
He's just too stupid to see that he can't write worth a shit.
He probably surrounded himself by his gym roidbro buddies that goaded him into including moronic nonsense and little else.
"Yeah bro so like this really fit guy then like jumps onto the gryphon in like mid air, off a cliff, oh shit bro that's SO SICK, just have him like leap onto it BRO that's BRILLIANT omg BRO"
Does anyone else think lack of rape is the reason for Star Wars's success? If you look at any 70s or 80s pulp sci-fi or fantasy movie, they almost always have the "hero saves girls from raping bandings" trope. But Star Wars eschews this. You think that since 95% of people don't want to see rape in movies, this is the reason for SW's success? Maybe that's what Zack is doing wrong.
High IQ post. Unironically.
SW understood what is was. A campy romp in a lived-in scifi setting mixed with mythology.
It was meant to resonate with people of any age or background because it hits notes that everyone can understand.
But most importantly (and this is what many copycats failed at) it felt authentic. It didn't look cheap or silly or too stylized or too removed from realism.
A run-down ship looked like a realistic run-down ship.
A military installation and gear looked like a realistic military installation and gear.
Uniforms looked like realistic uniforms.
Everything looked authentic, but at the same time resonated soundly with a mythical story set in that environment.
Leia was definitely meant to be sexy, but not in a way where it would be crass or whatever. And she realistically bantered with Luke and Han, making her appear "normal" and down to earth. You can easily imagine hanging out with her or going on adventures and so on ... all the characters had that naturalistic streak.
It's this mix of authentic and mythical that is the key. If you go too much into realistic and too much into mythical it just breaks the balance and you end up losing the heart of it.
>REBEL MOON director's cut will be entirely different from the movie that debuted on NETFLIX a few days ago. For one the beginning, middle and ending are completely different. Several scenes were reshot in mind for the new cut. For another it will have another protagonist: Regent Balisarius. The focus will be his rise to power and his hunt for wayward daughter.
The frick?
They're using the same corpo lingo that the gaming industry uses for selling DLCs.
I'm really upset that the emperor guy AND the general guy have the Nicholas Hoult phenotype
Just makes them look like larping twerps insteaed of having any kind of screen presence.
Sneeder is using fashion models instead of actors because it's cheaper and with his direction there's no difference
>female protag
>within first few minutes there are multiple gigachad love interests
movies for moids again when
>female protag
>cast woman known for physicality in previous roles, but who also looks totally bogged and busted
>have her weigh 70lbs and constantly be in a tanktop, showing off her scrawny frame
>easily defeats a number of men that are at least double her weight
>show in slow-mo her punching men with her scrawny arms in a laughably feeble way that would not even make these lugheads flinch
>managed to defeat commander psycho, who is not only roided out to the max but is super psychotic and enjoys brawling
I would like if she outsmarted him or something but no, they actually exchange blows as equals
Rebel Mary Sue: Gay warhammer40k
>Zack Snyder on the 3 hours R rated cut of Rebel Moon Part 1: “Way more brutal. More bizarre. Verhoeven-esque. More RoboCop than you know... in the way that is uses violence as another character. And there's a lot of nudity and sex in it, and Sci-Fi fantasy.”
>One of the main differences between the original and the director's cuts will be their explicit content. Rebel Moon received a PG-13 rating from the Motion Picture Association for "sequences of strong violence, sexual assault, bloody images, language, sexual material, and partial nudity." While the original version is already pushing the limits of the PG-13 rating and drawing some ire, the extended director's cuts will be rated R, allowing them to show even more of the aforementioned explicit content, including some very, VERY graphical sex scenes as well as a rape scene.
I am fine with AI artstation movies if it is targeted at me properly
ugly male protag, BIG brappers, BIG booba. the only diversity is sassy black women like megan thee stallion
>“It is a deeper dive into Zack’s lore. It’s a deeper dive into these characters individually, how they intersect, how they got there, and the inner workings of them trying to, form a team to stand up against the enemies.”
>Michiel Guisman noted that the pace is “up, always” in Netflix’s first version, but the director’s cut will give viewers a chance to “dive into a bit more backstory and into these characters. Their tics and how they interact.”
>Ray Fisher, reuniting with Snyder after their DC collaborations, also stressed that “the action in the director’s cut is going to be R-rated as well, so those fight sequences will be much more intense.”
>One fight featuring Boutella’s rebel leader is especially crunching, even with a softer age rating. “After seeing the rated R [version of that scene], I remember feeling that it was so violent – and I couldn’t put my finger on why. I didn’t feel like I saw much more blood than in the PG-13 cut. I don’t know if it’s the editing or the sound, but it’s so visceral and ambitious,” she said.
pls don't, it's legit embarrassing
So are people pretending that this isn't a Star Wars script pitch that Disney rejected and Snyder made anyway out of spite or do they really not know that yet
Nobody cares enough to pretend one way or another.
Even Jupiter Ascending, known to be a joke, mogs it.
>Even Jupiter Ascending, known to be a joke, mogs it.
how is this even possible? JA had exactly zero redeeming qualities
JA sucked but mila kunitz has natural charm and the movie fully accepted and owned the ridiculous premise of the central antagonists instead of making them some generic government bad stock
Every time Cinemaphile is this hard set against a movie you know it’s good.
nah its bad
>"We're still tweaking, but they'll probably be 45-minutes to an hour longer, each one. You get more character. You get a lot more of everything. It's not just a few deleted scenes."
>Snyder teased: “It’s, like, an hour longer and has a whole other opening that’s all Ed (Skrein). It focus on Belisarius. It’s really crazy.”
>“Basically, there was a Royal Family devouring the universe but with benevolent intentions,” Snyder explained.
>“Then, once [Regent] Balisarius (Fra Free) comes to power, it’s more of a Napoleonic concept, as he was afraid of the Motherworld’s Empire but decide to take it from within and not only continue is expansion efforts but double down on it.”
>“And I just think that those things are so easy to relate to in our history and mythology. And it’s incredible how humans just keep doing the same thing over and over.”
Forty thousand counts of plagiarism.
Turns out the movie sucked. I really wanted to like it, but Zachary exposed himself as a frauds.
Was he getting high off these big black snakedicks
He is shown smoking beforehand.
The big black snakedicks are two alien chicks that are sucking him off and doing... other stuffs.
It will be shown in the director's cut.
>"Two knocks broke his viewing of the Twins writhing in inhuman shapes, back to their feminine shape, their naked breasts growing and diminishing in sizes. "Come in." The door slid open. Cassius peeked his head through the opening. He glanced toward the bed then snapped his eyes toward a nude Noble."
Would've been more degenerate if they were actual snakes, sorta like the octopus masturbation copypasta
They still constrict and assfrick him.
>"He liked to feel his windpipe constrict until the lack of oxygen gave him a sense of lightheaded euphoria. Miniscule suction cups invisible to the human eye titillated him to a pleasure most humans didn't know existed."
based zack showing you don't have to dicksuck some ancient IP to make a big budget movie
Where are people even watching this?
In local gay bars
Well the critics hate it so that means it must be good. Frick ~~*journalists*~~.
>da joos are telling me to hate this movie because uh, whatever. Zack Snyder will save the white race. Heil Hitler, 1488
>good guys are all Black folk, mystery meat and ugly women
>bad guys are literal nuhzees
also the name rebel moon makes it sound like a star wars sequel and people are sick of those
How come advanced space faring nazis need anything from an early 20th century farming village? They still use mules! wtf am I watching. Its just lazy as frick space ww2. like wtf…
Because Snyder forgot to update the feudal Japan setting of Seven Samurai to fit the space setting.
oh and guess who is psychotically evil?? is it the whitest soldier in the bunch? is he the psychotic evil guy? you better fricking believe it! and who is the qt3.14 white village girl going to get with? NOT a white guy, of course, ha ha
Im not watching the rest of this shit
Is it just me or did that rapey soldier that was bullying his own squadmates have an afrikaaner accent? Just to make him extra evil
A quarter of the movie was spent on the evil nazi psycho being fake polite with Corey Stoll as they attempted to negotiate a grain deal when everyone in the galaxy knew the evil space nazi psycho will go full evil space nazi psycho and take whatever he needs anyway.
What's even more funny is that you see the imperials raiding that other planet later on in the movie and they could've just stocked up on food at that planet since they're already razing it anyway.
But no, they need the grain for their bakery pods in the drednaught so they can make bread from scratch.
How would you update Seven Samurai for this then?
I wouldn't update it, I would just not do it, which is what Snyder didn't do.
What the actual fug is with all the bright lights shining in my face. It doesn't look good, its annoying.
Made this to show how wasted the cgi is. The few seconds with the particulate matter rolling in looked good, there should've been more.
idk what's up with the glowing snowflake orbs falling in that shot?! makes it look cheesy
It's because it wasn't Star Wars, OP.
You forget that Zack Snyder initially wanted to do a grim dark Star Wars, but because Disney tends to make family-friendly content they denied him.
Before talking so big maybe he should have made sure he had something better than fricking disney star wars
Snyder isn’t very good as a creative force. Simple as.
If Zack Snyder is allowed anywhere near a line of dialogue or character development again, i will acclimate a family of wild pigs to enjoy skydiving and then dose them with laxatives while above Venice beach.
You have been warned.
I can't believe the man who made 300 made this absolute slop. How far he has fallen.
>Zack Snyder
heres why.
This movie is like all the bad part of an acid trip. Pic related.
We could have had a good Warhammer liveaction for what it cost to produce this.
The thing I found strangest about Rebel Moon is that everyone is comparing it to Star Wars. And I guess the plot is similar to A New Hope. But visually it reminded me a lot more of WH40k. The red robed tech priests, the main antagonist looks like a Death Korps Commisar, the visuals of the Motherworld with the big ass cathedrals, even the shape of the Motherworld's big spaceship is the same as the Imperium's ships.
The you've got the droid at the start who says its part of the Mechanicus Militarium, obviously reference to the Adeptus Mechanicus. Even the Emperor being dead and living in some kind of shadow realm, yet still impacting the governance of the Motherworld is lifted from WH40k. I could go on. It just struck me as taking much more inspiration from WH40k than Star Wars, but all everyone says is that it's Zack Snyder's Star Wars.
Everyone noticed it ripped off WH40k.
It's lame as frick.
>normies don't know about WH40K
The emperor protects. Imagine the feminist and liberals start fricking with WH, way more than they are....
The story itself is definitely a WH40k rip. I See it as something happening just after the dark age of technology. Most scifi fits into theWH40K timeline somewhere, but this is like the scary story the TAU tell their children about the emperium of Man.
It's equal parts both.
>small rim world with a farming community
>imperial ship chances upon them
>the main characters have to do something about it
>boutela has history with the imperials
>han solo smuggler character meeting in a cantina
>the azn woman is pretty much a jedi
>emperor guy
>emperor's enforcer commands a detachment to track down someone with an important lineage
there's more to it but it's definitely a mix of wh40k and sw
It's also Firefly and Saga and a bunch of other things. Snyder probably figured that since Lucas also mashed together a bunch of different stuff he could do the same but all his inspirations are so pedestrian and obvious, and also most of them were inspired by Star Wars themselves so it makes the whole thing rather inbred.
This is the word. Inbred. It's why it seems like a parody at points, making fun of nerds.
There is no fricking reason for a beastmaster, farmer Isekai and Ninja sequence in the same fricking movie.
I can definitely understand why it seems like it's poking fun. The scene with the dude taming the gryphon is a 1:1 copy of the scene with Buckbeak in Harry Potter. I was stunned by how blatant that was.
>The scene with the dude taming the gryphon is a 1:1 copy of the scene with Buckbeak in Harry Potter
Breaking Buckbeak
Or every "Young man proves his manhood by taming a noble steed." From Alexander to John Carter of Mars if i remember correctly.
Made no sense. The entire scene was just chick fan service. Nerds everywhere should be thanking Snicker for getting their dates juices going. Bout all.
>"Young man proves his manhood by taming a noble steed"
I get that that's a trope. But the similarities between the Rebel Moon gryphon scene and the one in Harry Potter is much more than just that. It's the whole decorum aspect, having to literally bow to the beast so it understands the tamer is showing the due respect, the fact that the animal doesn't actually belong to the people who tame it, they just bond and fly together temporarily. And the fact that immediately after the beast and the rider have had their moment, some wienery idiot comes along and immediately gets wrecked by the beast. In Rebel Moon that was the fat rancher dude, in HP it was Malfoy.
Like I say, it's not just rehashing a trope. It's a 1:1 copy of how it played out in Harry Potter.
will have to rewatch. 1:1 is even worse
No psychers or chaos demons.
Warp translation is a vagine, which is a kind of Chaos i guess.
Anyone that knows about 40K saw the inspiration. 40K has been gaining popularity (unfortunately) for many years now. With this Amazon deal going through it's inevitable that it gets completely pozzed more than GW has already pozzed it. Horrifying. I'd rather normies just stay the frick out.
I thought it was Star Wars.
lol at all these nerds and their "simpsons did it" posting
no one cares. star wars is shit and warhammer was too slow to make movies
it’s poorly received and can’t even get the most viewed spot on Netflix
?
It's most viewed in almost every country
except, suspiciously, some of the indian ones.
Did jeets finally forsaken zsnyder?
Now that you mention its global release, that
explains the slo-mo.
The slo-mo was for the indians.
The Beastmaster/Girlboss with cool hair/Ninja monster slayer/Farmer Isekai was for the japanese and chinese markets.
Whole thing was a paint by demographics movie.
Make it make sense.
I wanted to watch it because there was a cool gryphon thing in the cover and thought maybe I'd get to see some interesting creature design. Instead it's about the peaceful harmonious farmer village rising up against the evil nazi army. Look at the evil nazis murdering people. And abusing that poor peaceful robot. And sexually abusing girls. But look, the villagers are nice to the robot. And the badass righteous warrior lady takes out like 8 bad guys by herself. Seriously, who watches this shit? Where's the drama? Dropped it after 30 minutes.
>Where's the drama?
the rape, murdering, revenge, etc.
what more do you want
>nooooo you can't make evil empires look bad!!!
the first 30 minutes was probably the only part of it that wasn't complete stinking dogshit
if you thought that was bad, wait till you get to the last act, the final fight basically takes place in some cgi environment like some landing pad in coruscant lmao
by far the worst movie i've seen all year, but there's no real competition, it's at least twice as bad as the second worst, which i'd say is ferrari
It's extremely lazy. It feels like something Snyder came up with in high school, dug up years later, and promptly chose to film as is. There's honestly no originality. It rips off all of these other works of fiction without having any of their charm. Seven Samurai meets Star Wars is insanely asinine since Star Wars was already a rip off of a Kurosawa film anyways. John Carter already set space fantasy back an entire decade and now Rebel Moon just fricking made it worse.
>forgetting "Jupiter Ascending"
>forgetting "Valerian"
It's been downhill since The Fifth Element , Honestly.
I genuinely try to erase the Valerian movie out of my mind since that is one of the biggest disappointments in my cinematic experience.
I do not blame you.
I simply don't understand how these movies are made. Does noone check the script before shooting? You can see that the effort is there but it's like the script is under lock and key before the shooting starts and then they have to make do with whatever is written down since it's already too late and the production is underway.
I mean we have almost a hundred years (more even) of scifi stories to draw from and they can't assemble one decent story to turn into a film that makes sense and is engaging? Not one?
I wonder this all the time.
It must be the case that:
Investor;s don't read the script all the time.
>Who's directing ?
>Who are the stars ?
>What are the options and terms.
>Distribution ?
Then the risk itself is behind an llc, Hollywood accounting and several other partners.
Zack had to pump out like 10 blockbusters just to get this flop. Snyder cut included.
Not everyone is Wes Anderson, Or that dude from Inception, scott something
I understand but you'd think they'd get a couple of senior script people to do a once over before it starts.
This kind of stuff wouldn't even pass scriptwriting 101.
>Zack had to pump out like 10 blockbusters just to get this flop.
What were they? All I remember is 300 and a bunch of capeshit that underperformed Disney by quite a lot. It's not a crowning achievement to make Batman movies, add Superman and Wonder Woman, and get less audience than just Batman movies.
his highest grossing movie was batman v superman which didn't even break a billion
See that's my point; the last two Batman movies cleared a billion nicely. So the expectation had to be "give him more money than Nolan, and team Batman up with 2 of our most well known superguys, and lets make Avengers money at the very least".
Honestly Man of Steel's modest box office should have been a warning. They spent an entire year pushing Man of Steel hard, it did one good weekend and then was rejected.
These are good points.
I gave up trying to understand DC fan a long time ago. Besides special runs for interesting ideas like Red Son, it baffles the mind.
Don't forget Merch.
They can do cheap Batman cartoons and sell Batman merch, there's no need to invest 250 million in a Batman feature to sell the merch.
The cartoons are not as successful overseas as the live action has been the last ten years.
Kids like the toons, but the whole family can go out to watch a live-action. Buy toys, non-toy merch, popcorn. No one spends a whole eveing going out for a batman toon. Batman Vs. Superman with pew pew graphics, hell yeah.
The bar for blockbuster is really low these days. All those movies did well overseas. Think about ratios. A 23 million person movie here is like 600 to 800 million people in Shitistan. With local tax rates and discounts on sales......
The global demand for shit is why movies suck these days. Has for a while.
It will get better though, Korea, Indian Cinema will get better. Flowers and gem producers will and do grow out of the fertilizer.
The problem was, the measure for Superhero blockbusters was the MCU. Sony wanted that sweet MCU money post-Avengers, and weren't happy with ASM2 monies, so they teamed up with the MCU.
The Snyder movies were very very expensive, with Avengers budgets (even MoS) and the full force and expense of WB's marketing machine behind them.
Non-stupid movies have rarely/never made gigantic sums. Martin Scorcese's entire library is a big nothing at box offices; he might complain about junk movies, but junk movies are what keep the lights on at the cinemas that show his movies.
Theaters are fighting a lot of headwinds, they are no longer the favorite venue for watching movies. And their answer has been to make everything more expensive/luxurious, and it doesn't work at scale.
If they were not making money, they would not keep doing it. I agree with all your points. I just we are severely underestimating the overseas market ROI that can support this capeshit, even for DC.
Most overseas probably mistake MCU for the DCU half the time. The difference is not as entrenched among geeks as it is here.
Two points support my position: 1. They edit the movies to be pro-whatever local dictator is in charge. 2.With their unique accounting practices we never actually know how much they make. Again, it's enough to keep making it and also not produce politically sensitive narratives, democracy, capitalism, ect ect.
>Does noone check the script before shooting
part of the problem is that literally hundreds of people all check the script and give their own myopic notes on what to change.
Army of the Dead was unwatchable. Is it over for Snyder after this?
Snyder is definitely in a bad spot right now. All those reviewers trashing the movie are waking normies up. People think it's bullshit Snyder once again needs a director's cut. It all depends on the new cut and Part 2 being good.
>literal pig-man calls her a b***h and tries to kill her out of nowhere
should I just troon out so I can enjoy kinos again?
yeah queen slay so heckin epic us foids amirite?
just watch old movies
The scene was definitely for the gays and allies demographic.
pic related
>BWB
?
Book Way Better
>disgusting homosexual character is a literal pig and gets killed for being a gay
what's wrong with this?
>Why did Rebel Moon fail?
because it's shit on all fronts. there isn't a single thing this movie does well. That being said, for a total stinker piece of shit, it's done better than it should've, likely because zack snyder has name brand appeal, and because it was on netflix.
>that le epic unearned reveal of the robot turning toward the camera at the end
the perfect example of Synder putting stuff in there just cause he thinks its cool.
I just realized it was a reference to him becoming a hunter and probably part of the tribe, providing meat.
It's a metaphor for his genious and inner artistic soul. Instead of doing highbrow art he grinds on low brow capeshit movies , like a robot, to provide the meat for him and his family. You see, he IS the robot, slaving away, killing it. For his senpai. The israeli Nation.
Or,
He just thought it looked cool, either one.
>hi we're imperials from empire, hello
>hi I'm farmer from farm village, humble people call me Father
>people here respect you, Father?
>they well respect me kind space sir, thank you for asking... how are you doing are you doing okay?
>I'm doing well enough, Father. I can't help but see you humble farm people live a comfy life and also eat well, yes?
>we do eat well we have three, sometimes five meals per day made out of grain from the fields of grain behind you that you just crossed getting here
>really? from grain? must be some very fine grain you have there can I sniff you grain for a second
>I have some spare grain at the grain box in our humble longshiphouse up on the hill if you don't mind coming along with me to the longshiphouse on the hill over there
>let's walk over there on foot I'll meet you there even though we will walk side by side
>no problem oh look we're already there and you've seen our entire village
>thank you for the tour Father, now where is the grain that I wan to sniff
>here in the grain box that I inherited from my predecessor who was also named Father
>this grain is exquisite, say Father do you have any grain you can spare for us space folk that've been eating raw bismuth all our lives
>no
0 vision, 0 inspiration. it was a kindergartener playing with his action figures. there was the barest gossamer veil of a story with a series of monosyllabic, paint-by-numbers character designs (that is, designs; not full fledged characters) who barely speak, have no motivations and obviously almost solely exist to tick boxes. poorly shot, poorly lit, poorly acted, poorly directed, poorly written, poorly choreographed, poorly conceived, poorly executed.
if i had to guess, i would say this was intended to be some kind of cinematic universe. this movie seems more of a synopsis than a story unto itself. the fact that none of the characters have any characterization indicates that they were probably always intended to each have their own origin movie, but zack just never got around to making any of them.