>Have to use magic to achieve any kind of masturbation because of your improbable mountain (of fat) along your entire fricking waistline
have a nice day
>get stopped by tall mountains, can't find any way through so you turn around, call it norway >land where all the women are so ugly they look like they've been slapped by a whale fin, call it finland
Mortals aren't allowed there because they would die of boredom.
It's made for immortal people, so barely anything ever happens there.
The Numenoreans wanted to go there because they thought just being in the place would make them immortal. That's wrong though.
They'd just frick up the place with loud music, disgusting street food and high crime rates.
Luckily NGOs are banned in Valinor.
>they would die of boredom.
Except for banging all the hot immortal elf girls like Sam and Frodo got to do. As ringbearers the girls were obliged to give it up. No boredom there, no siree
Because nobody cares about the asia and africa analogs. Its a story about western europeans. everything east of Gondor is just dirty evil shitskins, nothing else is important about those places
>Why did Tolkien not finish the map of Middle Earth?
because part of the whole story was how the world was - literally - ever changing. tolkien only gave maps as snapshots of specific places during specific ages mainly so he himself could keep track but also so readers could have some context. he wasn't planning ahead for Lord of the Rings Online's 34th expansion.
this, there is no real “map” because that was never intended, the books focus on snapshots of areas in specific times, nothing more, we only get what we’re told about
Good luck getting any significant rainfall in your undying lands, bro.
The fricking god of Weather literally lives there
>Have to use magic to get any kind of precipitation because of your improbable mountain range along your entire fricking coastline
>Have to use magic to achieve any kind of masturbation because of your improbable mountain (of fat) along your entire fricking waistline
have a nice day
Doodlebingus
>Gondor is Cardiff
Grim
>Spain are the bad guys
because the detailed the map is, the detailed the tax policies shall be.
because its supposed to look like a pair of sweaty deformed nuts
Why doesn't the entire West just cross the grinding ice to get away from Sauron?
All that stuff got submerged when Melkor got his shit pushed in.
>why doesn't all of Europe just cross the Arctic into the Americas and leave their countries to Putinxi?
>region that is further away from Harad
>call it Far Harad
>Come across an island in the summer so it's green, call it greenland.
>come across an island in the winter so you see ice, call it Iceland.
>get stopped by tall mountains, can't find any way through so you turn around, call it norway
>land where all the women are so ugly they look like they've been slapped by a whale fin, call it finland
Actually norðrvegr means the northern way
>Tropical island people want to vacation at
>Call it TripAdvisor and Trivago
>Be far from Iceland call it FarIceland
Aren't the undying lands magical or something? And more akin to heaven than just a place next to middle earth?
Mortals aren't allowed there because they would die of boredom.
It's made for immortal people, so barely anything ever happens there.
The Numenoreans wanted to go there because they thought just being in the place would make them immortal. That's wrong though.
They'd just frick up the place with loud music, disgusting street food and high crime rates.
Luckily NGOs are banned in Valinor.
>Mortals aren't allowed there because they would die of boredom.
Complete and utter fanfic.
>they would die of boredom.
Except for banging all the hot immortal elf girls like Sam and Frodo got to do. As ringbearers the girls were obliged to give it up. No boredom there, no siree
Read the books
>the trees, lamps, intact beleriand and numenor all on the same map
really triggering my autism here bro.
>using the David Day lungs map
ngmi
that's the actual map of the north pole, you have to understand that space is fake
>he fell for the 20th century cartography psyop
maps aren't real dumbass lmao
>walled off literal master race enthostate paradise island away from all the decay and lesser beings
how did he get away with it?
Back then we didn't teach the lesser beings to read
Because nobody cares about the asia and africa analogs. Its a story about western europeans. everything east of Gondor is just dirty evil shitskins, nothing else is important about those places
Looks like my nuts
>All humans are descended from Northern Europeans
>No original sin
>No israelites and no Covenant
>No Christ, only Aryan creator god and his pantheon
What did Tolkein mean by this?
its true, look into it deeper. here is the map from the wizard of oz. quite similar no?
>squiggly, equivalent borders that have no respect for geography
Shit worldbuilding, ~~*Baum*~~.
mad
>Why did Tolkien not finish the map of Middle Earth?
because part of the whole story was how the world was - literally - ever changing. tolkien only gave maps as snapshots of specific places during specific ages mainly so he himself could keep track but also so readers could have some context. he wasn't planning ahead for Lord of the Rings Online's 34th expansion.
this, there is no real “map” because that was never intended, the books focus on snapshots of areas in specific times, nothing more, we only get what we’re told about
>look ma! I relay liked that other anons comment, so I restated what he wrote!
Youre an uncreative time waster, anon! Now go back to inhaling your trendies, you LOTR gay
>sauron is slaughtering thousands of people
>eru does nothing
>humans try to sail to the elf lands
>eru sinks their entire fricking island
That's just a fan fic map created for a Tabletop game