Why don't germans make good movies? Is it because they have no souls?
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Why don't germans make good movies? Is it because they have no souls?
Why don't germans make good movies? Is it because they have no souls?
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Yes.
wait till zoomers discover Fritz Lang.
Stroszek was kino
The best Germans left during ww2 and many of their descendants work in Holywood today.
da jooooooooooooooooooooooooooos
too busy making sex to beautiful german girls
Uwe Boll, as shit as he is, explained German movie industry.
so what he say
long story short its all scam
his movies were literally made to avoid taxes and he exposed whole german movie industry as tax writeoff scam as well
>Yes what did he say
He explained that it's all about making bad movies that do not make big profit. It's because of German law exploit. He explained this in details but I don't remember this so well... basically movies have to make little to no profit so they can write them off in taxes, then exploit benefits. Also Video Games based movies were his fav because people were not interested in game based movies and gamers hated them for being completely wrong, which made sure these movies were not profitable enough. Bloodrayne or Alone in the Dark and Postal were best examples.
So it was all a part of business plan, and Uwe Boll exposed this scam and gave up on directing because he made enough money to retire for good. So modern German movies have to be so shit so movie producers and directors can exploit taxes laws. Of course stuff like Das Boot or other old films do not count. He means new movies made after this tax law changes.
Yes what did he say
>"But crucially, the bizarre tax laws in Germany mean that any wealthy Germans who invest in a movie can write-off the production cost, delay paying their taxes and generally reduce their tax burden. When you disseminate all the boring legal business law surrounding it the bottom line is this – the German investors in a movie only pay tax on any RETURNS the movie makes, their investment is 100% deductible, so the minute the movie makes a profit, said investor has to start paying tax. Plus the investors can actually borrow money to put towards investment and write that off too. Assuming you’re a sharp enough businessman you have a potential goldmine in the making; a way to make money from investing in bad movies.Enter a German by the name of Dr. Uwe Boll...."
What the frick are you talking about?
Because German art is at it's best when it is Nietzschein in spirit, and that would be deemed as Nazi-adjacent now. So they're only allowed to make sterile, depressing garbage now; their true spirit stamped out by banking cartels.
>Nietzschein in spirit
>Nazi-adjacent
Nietzsche hated germans and german culture you dumb spic
>t.Nietschze gays who don't want to be considered nazi-adjacent
Thanks for proving my point
>Nietzsche hated germans and german culture you dumb spic
I hate germans and german "culture"
does that mean I am not german anymore?
nietzsche unironically larped as a polish sarmatian bc he hated german nationalists so much
kys
Das Boot is better than anything a frog ever created
Germans are too neurotic to understand art. They are not a creative people.
They did and occasionally do. More recently, Victoria and Toni Erdmann are both literal masterpieces
Toni Erdmann is TV movie quality with one good scene, flushed to prominence by existing in a cultural environment of shit and sheer luck.
Toni Erdmann is a naturalistic, nuanced masterpiece full of insightful observation and only a total philistine would see anything remotely similar to a TV movie in it. Stop being a mental midget and pay attention
Safe edgy
every nation/ethnic group peaks in different time periods
germans peaked in the arts in the 19th century
What about Nosferatu (both the original and Herzog's remake) and Ali: Fear Eats the Soul?
Here's something fresh(2001) german kino before some autist starts listing NSDAP era movies
Germans are so bad at making movies that they don't even have a word for Kino
giggled
Das boot is literally the best war movie ever made
Yes. we have no souls. same reason we have no sense of humor
most good german filmmakers were israelites, of partial israeli ancestry, were married to israelites, or were simply close friends and associates of israelites. naturally most of them relocated in the mid 20th century and german filmmaking has yet to recover.
such as?
2nd reply ITT
Lola Rennt is kino.
>the ball is round
>the game lasts 90 minutes
>this is fact, everything else is just theory
Lola Rennt is 100% kino
Also kino:
Christiane F. - Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo
Das Boot
Metropolis
Fitzcarraldo
I thought "Goodbye Lenin" (2003) was a good movie
wrong.
FOUND IT!
> So here's how this whole thing works. I'm a film producer. I go to these investors and tell them I want to make this movie. They front me a certain amount of the money to get things set up with the rest put in a fund I can access when production begins. I take this money and buy up the rights to...something. A book, a comic, a video game, whatever I can get cheaply that still has some sort of name recognition to it. I then take that license, get a completion bond (basically insurance that will pay to finish the film if production runs out of money).
>So I go to film distributors all over the world to pre-sell the rights. I haven't made the movie yet, but here's proof we've got the investment money for production already, I've got a completion bond so the film will be finished, I've got name recognition from the licensed product, and I promise name actors in the film. Oh, and there's going to be lots of violence and sex to bring in the kids. They then agree to distribute the film.
>And my movie's already made its money back. Say I got $30 million from the investors. I sell the rights for $3 million to 10 different territories (it's more complicated than this, but you get the idea). So the film's now going to open in the US, England, China, Australia, Japan, India, etc. and, so long as I deliver a film, my production budget is covered.
>You may notice at no point in this process have I mentioned hiring a screenwriter. That's because the script doesn't matter. As long as they get something that's at least 80 minutes, they won't care. You'll also notice I didn't mention hiring actors yet.
I like ho he talks about himself in 3rd person
>Ever wonder how Boll got those big-name actors? This is how. So I call up various agencies and say, "I'm shooting in [insert country here] for these parts in about a month. Who do you have that's available?" No auditions or rehearsals or any of that crap. I just want someone with a name. The actors don't care about the script, they just want the payday. Maybe they spent two weeks doing callbacks and cleared their schedule for a big part they didn't get. Or maybe contract negotiations fell through. Maybe they were on hiatus from shooting a TV show. Whatever it is, these actors weren't busy at that time.
>They'll get hired for parts that don't require a lot of shooting time, like the villain or the mentor character or whatever. Fly out to somewhere in Eastern Europe, get put up in a nice hotel, work for 3-4 days shooting a few scenes then they get killed, fly home, cash the check. It's easy money. Even if it means I'm shooting all of Sir Ben Kingsley's lines before any of the other cast he's interacting with are even in the country yet. Even if I have to use two different locations for the different angles. Even if I have to shoot one of them in the morning
>So I shoot the movie. Time is money since I'm having to pay every single person on the set and every foot of film that runs through the camera costs money (or the hard drives and servers holding the footage for films shot on digital video). No time for second takes. Practical effect didn't work out like I wanted? Screw it, I'll fix it in post if I have time. I can't waste an hour doing a reset. Is Michael Madsen drunk? Frick it, if he slurs too much I'll dub in his dialog in post-production. Not with Madsen himself, he'd cost too much, but a cheap voice actor who'll impersonate him and will only charge me scale.
He doesn't even hide this and openly calls his movies total shit
>So we're done and we have a movie. Post-production is done just as fast and cheap as production. Color correction, editing, special effects other than big set piece visuals (like wire removal) are done as quickly as possible since this equipment costs a lot to rent and the people doing the work aren't cheap to hire. Voila, release the print to the distributors, cash their checks, and return your money to the investors. All before the film is seen by a single person or a single ticket has been sold.
>Now what happens if I'm not able to finish the movie? That's where that completion bond comes in. I'm shooting in a foreign country because everything's cheaper due to exchange rates. So I show up in South America, convert all my money to the local currency, and start shooting. Oops, the currency just completely tanked and the money that used to be worth $10 million in my bank is now worth $1 million (this happened on Highlander 2, though with slightly different numbers). So I can't afford to pay everyone on the set to get the film finished. That's when the completion bond company steps in. They pay out enough money to finish the film. At this point, they will take over production too. They'll rewrite the script, throw out the director, and basically do whatever they have to do to get enough footage to finish the film. Doesn't matter how shitty it is, they only care about it getting done. Yes, even moreso than Uwe Boll.
>Okay, so say that didn't happen and I made my movie. This has been done for decades. This is how Roger Corman made his films and how they make all those SyFy Original Movies (only they sell off the sensationalist title rather than a license), among many other low-budget production companies who do exactly this. What is Uwe Boll doing that's different?
This worked until 2006 but then they found new exploits.
>Well, the investors aren't taxed on their investment in the film, only on the profits they make on the film. So you give me $1 million to invest in the film, I then return the $1 million to you. You don't pay any income tax on that $1 million. So say the tax rate is 50% in Germany at your tax bracket. You investing that $1 million to me knowing you'll get it back (I'd pre-sold the distribution rights, remember?), I just effectively made you $500,000. This specific loophole was closed in 2006, but there's still a lot of other tricks.
Brilliant, thank you.
Yeah it's epic. I loved the part:
>You may notice at no point in this process have I mentioned hiring a screenwriter. That's because the script doesn't matter. As long as they get something that's at least 80 minutes, they won't care. You'll also notice I didn't mention hiring actors yet.
It's the essence of this approach.
Wonder what modern IPs you could try this with. Titanfall?
Uwe says anything will do as long as it's cheap to obtain and has some sort of recognition.
I wish I was smart enough to think of this
>Herzog
>Metropolis
Okay