>why yes Mr Boromir this swarthy unwashed homeless man is your rightful King and head of state.

>why yes Mr Boromir this swarthy unwashed homeless man is your rightful King and head of state. Sure your family has been ruling Gondor for 900 years but hes Isidulr's Heir! Huh? WHAT? So what he just happens to be my distant nephew and is betrothed to my daughter stop asking so many anti-elvanic questions!

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Does anyone else think it's weird how Gondor used to mint their own Castars but now they pay Rivendell to do it, but since Rivendell only accepts payment in Castars and charges interest on the Castars they mint, there's no possible way for Gondor to ever fully pay back their debt?

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    he never said that

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Were you there? Thought not.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      yes he did, you unfunny autist

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Men? Men are WEAK.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because of the vaxx

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      and elves are gays

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >”Men are weak. I was there when the strength of men failed”
      >ignores the time elves chimped out over muh hecking israeliteels

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Why didn't the eagles just fly my dick into your mum's pussy? Hahahaahshahaa

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >ignores the time elves chimped out over muh hecking israeliteels
        It was among the elves. It was real greaseball shit.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why didn't the Elves turn Mordor into a gigantic, beautiful forest? Why didn't the Dwarves turn Mt. Doom or the mountains surrounding Mordor into their own immense city? There was so much land freely available ripe for the taking.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Because the land is... LE EVIL!

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They did, and most of the fortresses in Mordor were garrisoned by humans to stop it turning to shit again. But then Mt Doom started erupting again and it went to shit pretty quickly.

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >entire world
    >only like 3-4 kingdoms, maybe 100k or so people combined living in maybe 3 towns and 2 castles
    >no trade, no infrastructure, no nothing

    This is the shittiest worldbuilding I've ever seen.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it's literal dystopia for them. the elves have left, the men and dwarves have fallen. did you not see the crumbling ruins that they journey past?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it's literal dystopia for them. the elves have left, the men and dwarves have fallen. did you not see the crumbling ruins that they journey past?

      there are more farms and towns in the books, and at the end Frodo mentions Aragorn's going to fix all the roads and shit that are falling apart in the north

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Hope he puts up some more bridges. Having to go eight miles between Brandywine and the next bridge is horseshit.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        how does he pay for it though?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          it doesnt say explicitly but im pretty sure the haradrim and payed tribute after mordor fell

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          In the appendix it mentions a tax on unrealized gains

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you don't remember when nine of the human kings were turned to evil and their realms ruined?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Do they even have a tax policy?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No but they have a very effective subsidy policy for protecting local mithril forgers

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      you don't remember when nine of the human kings were turned to evil and their realms ruined?

      BTFO

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Eriador was completely depopulated by the Witch King, of course there's barely anyone living up there, the lands past it like Gondor and Rhovanion have a lot more kingdoms and people.

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >yes Boromir, you are correct, Glorfindel could single-handedly take the ring up to the mountain and cast it into the fire, killing anyone and anything in his path with his godly powers.
    >but this time, the people of Middle Earth must solve their own problems
    >we will only interfere if they attack Zi- I mean Rivindell in a direct attack

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Glorfindel would be corrupted and become the next Sauron.
      Next midwit objection?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        glorfindel deez nuts and lúthien my crack

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        glorfindel cucking kink immunizes him against dominating others

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I hope people realize that Sauron could have manifested a physical form if he really wanted to in the movies. There was even a deleted scene of Aragorn battling Sauron.

      The reason they used stealth was BECAUSE they wanted Sauron overconfident and not using 100% of his resources. Telling Glorfindel to rage through Mordor would have made Sauron do exactly this.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >There was even a deleted scene of Aragorn battling Sauron.
        That's Aragorn beheading The Mouth of Sauron, a different guy

        ?si=ecv_9snufLy3UCzA

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He is talking about how originally the battle with the armored troll was going to be Sauron in physical form but they didn't want to take away from Frodo and the ring.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >That's Aragorn beheading The Mouth of Sauron, a different guy
          kek what a fricking ringlet

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Elrond hid a war criminal

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Humans were Eru's favorite. Elves were semi-divine.

    Aragorn is a fusion dance of both. Regular pleb Men need this homie as an example to lead them into the 4th Age, so they don't succumb to their baser instincts like the Easterlings.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Elves are the eldest children with inborn responsibilities. Humans are the little brother who gets the most favoritism.
      Dwarves are the red-headed step child of the bunch.
      Hobbits are Cousin Oliver.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Humans get the "gift" of death. Funnily enough, Tolkien never actually established why death was a "gift" (officially speaking) so in many respects Melkor was right.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Melkor did nothing wrong.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >elf free afterlife
          sounds like a great gift

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It's a "gift" because elves can't go frick this shit I'm out to Arda even after they die. They're stuck as spirits haunting the Halls of Mandos until the end of time. Not cool.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Elves aren't "stuck" they can reincarnate. Most just just to stay out of Middle Earth and live in Valinor.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              They can but how many do besides the famous Glorfindel?
              Why didn't Feanor break out and reincarnate or Gil-galad come back to fight Sauron? You can't deny having some of those guys back would have helped a lot.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                It’s an Eru’s will sort of thing.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                Mandos decides to do it
                he decided to dab on faenor and make him the only elf who would never be reincarnated

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Most elves are too emotionally wrecked by their life to be able to reincarnate. Even the evil ones struggle and have to posses mortal bodies to wear to do it. That’s why Sauron is called the necromancer he can speak to and house these shades in bodies.
            The doom of man is a gift because they are severed from the material world upon death and escape the corruption on Morgoth. His evil touched every part of Arda in some small way and the elves will never be free of it. I think it is also suggested that mankind will join the choir that produces the next world free of Morgoth’s misery in the end of all things.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I wonder if the writer believed in a holy permanent reunion with their creator upon death or something...

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Damn, it's almost like the author is a Christian who believes heaven is the best reward one can receive.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Hobbits are humans. They share the same fate as men and are basically just a pygmy race of men.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Sure your family has been ruling Gondor for 900 years but hes Isidulr's Heir! Huh? WHAT? So what he just happens to be my distant nephew and is betrothed to my daughter stop asking so many anti-elvanic questions!
    this is why George Washington invented the constitution

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      and look where that got us

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        To the most prosperous times in history?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        To one of the most prosperous time periods in the entire world's history?

  10. 3 weeks ago
    кaни

    i love how this film starts so good only to go down-hill after great character introductions and world/story building, why would they not simply give ring to Boromir

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I just compiled that and it opened up CP

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >"ORCS could be here" he thought, "I've never been in this forest before. There could be ORCS anywhere." The cool wind felt good against his bare nose. "I HATE ORCS" he thought. Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold reverberated around the campfire, making the company sway even as the half penny ale circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) fear of wargs after dark. "With a pony, you can go anywhere you want" he said to himself, outloud.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      literally me

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      AI written gibberish.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        why did you need AI to write 3 words?

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why did we never hear shit about the rest of the planet?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Anything outside of medieval Europe is irrelevant.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Sauron won already, the blue wizards couldn’t stem the tide and the Morgoth cult covered most the world. Glorifindle and Galadriel were like spotlights burning the darkness that was engulfing the rest of the world back. The third age is really dark and apocalyptic underneath Tolkiens fairy story prose.

      You could set a Cormac McCarthy tale or berserk within the 3rd age and not change the tone.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That would make it even more interesting. Have the blue wizards journeying through hostile lands, it would be kino.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          The blue wizards dying unsung in the east, their work going unknown to the fellowship and their allies is too bold. No, we must have girlboss Galadriel instead.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The Valar fricked up by not dealing with Morgoth and instead beckoning the elves to come west with them, abandoning the men to be fricked over.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Gondor couldn't exert any influence past Umbar and Rhovanion so we have no in-universe justification to know about what actually happens in places like Far Harad or Rhun.

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sorry but the divine right trumps your fee fees

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >he never said that

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    the aragorn plot was actually moronic bloat that brought the trilogy down a notch

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    And what would a ranger know of fiscal policy?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Maybe he was an accountant before he became a ranger. His early life remains largely unaddressed in the cannon. He’s a mysterious cat

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He was mentored by elves, specifically Elrond.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He was mentored by an Elf who's been ruling his own region for over a millennium and who used to be the right hand man of an Elven king, Aragorn is if anything overqualified for actually being a good king.

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Betrothed
    Elrond didn't want Aragorn to marry his daughter though.

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    why is there an uptick of lotr threads recently?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Theoden King passed away recently.
      >Where now are the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?
      >Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing?
      >Where is the harp on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing?
      >Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?
      >They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow;
      >The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow.
      >Who shall gather the smoke of the deadwood burning,
      >Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?
      RIP Bernard Hill

  19. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Nazgûl hastily ride out of Mordor to look for a guy who might have found the ring 78 years ago

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