You'd be nigh immortal but you'd have to drink blood and also be vulnerable to sunlight, silver bullets and stakes through the heart.
Would you be a vampire?
You'd be nigh immortal but you'd have to drink blood and also be vulnerable to sunlight, silver bullets and stakes through the heart.
Do I get more powerful the longer I go without blood?
Yes, Anne Rice rules.
>drink blood
Serious question why is blood even a question? Why is human blood a downside here?
Imagine having to work as a vampire lmao couldn't be me.
Just go sleep in a cemetery until capitalism stops existing and humanity has collapsed which should only take a hundred years or so at this point.
Just being released from humanity at this point would be grand, I don't care for the immortality aspect as much as I do the release from societal obligations.
You'd Have to move to Europe as Americans would taste like corn syrup... you don't want to get vampire diabetes right??
>Just go sleep in a cemetery until capitalism stops existing and humanity has collapsed which should only take a hundred years or so at this point.
I like how you think that bartering ceases to exist in a post apocalyptic scenario.
look into the history of money and you'll see that "bartering" wasn't a thing, it's a israeli invention just like interest
people never had an economy of "these apples are worth this amount of oranges, let's trade!" it was more like... hey I have apples, and want some oranges, do you Want to trade?
You'd think people would actually learn history so you don't fall for the biggest scam of all, money isn't real and it's another form of control with a bunch of bullshit behind it so normies like you will think it was a natural evolution of "bartering".
Oh, nevermind. You're just a moron.
Ah, I see the Matrix has you... and to think you were this close to waking up.
>he thinks counting is israeli trickery
>>he thinks counting is israeli trickery
Talking to /misc/ is fun.
you can imagine it’s it the easiest thing in the world to get a hold of
are you gonna go out to drain aids infested smelly homeless tweakers every night?
just bleh bleh bleh your way into a megacity and bite people out and about cause no one helps anyone out anymore
If vampires are real then they would have clans and networks for all this shit and family? lol you'd better get used to not caring about family since you'll outlive them all
Say goodbye to mummy little one
>just bleh bleh bleh your way into a megacity and bite people out and about cause no one helps anyone out anymore
yeah i dun wanna suck hobos or commies.
It's a city, go find the business district and suck on high tier hookers that eat and enjoy a better life than you do now or go all homosexual vampire and suck on some suits.
If it were me I'd make my way to Japan and suck salarymen/women and spare them from the misery that is their work culture.
>high tier hookers that eat and enjoy a better life than you do now or go all homosexual vampire and suck on some suits.
they can hire bouncers and high tier escorts get pimps. armed pimps. dumbass. you never lived outside your mom's basement have ya?
I used to be an escort, those armed pimps only come in if you take too long or I scream. Charm a hooker and have a bite and it can go smoothly
>quads truth
thanks, giggalo. but i dun suck gays. sorry, no homo.
>are you gonna go out to drain aids infested smelly homeless tweakers every night?
YES.
>AIDS
Daily reminder that vampires are a metaphor for AIDS.
I'd just set up plasma donation places and keep blood for myself.
It's be like cows walking themselves to the slaughterhouse, without the messy cleanup, and a tidy wad of cash.
Maybe branch out into kidney dialisis too.
But then the damning myself to hell and eternal damnation would suck. I wouldn't want to let Jesus down.
Ooh! I could be a vampire that hunts down Christkillers (jews)... maybe I could get into heaven that way?
>Ooh! I could be a vampire that hunts down Christkillers (jews)... maybe I could get into heaven that way?
Read the bible. Daily reminder that jesus hates Christians and sends them to hell for opposing the chosen people killing him. It is like a BDSM fetish for jesus.
Shalom, /misc/.
>Shalom
Literally read Matthew 16:21-25
>Muh out of context
read all of Matthew 16
>Muh out of context
read all of Matthew
>Muh out of context
Read the bible once in your life you christisraelite.
>NOOO I'm a christian and I'm unable to read the bible!
>are you gonna go out to drain aids infested smelly homeless tweakers every night?
If you aren't affected, why not?
WTF would a pozzed vampire be like, though?
>Just use some korean-tier makeup routine to make yourself look older as the years pass.
Become vampire Latte ASMR or an actual vampire /vt/umor. You'd probably still need to get some new doxx every decade or so.
>WTF would a pozzed vampire be like, though?
Daily reminder that vampires are a metaphor for AIDS.
Vampirism spread = AIDS spread.
Only this does not hold true. Since vampires live forever.
Is there a fiction where once you get vampire bite you have a max lifespan of 7 years and then die an everyone you bite gets turned like you?
Ad flight as a potential super power.
>I must drink blood I need it so badly
Why
>because it makes me less powerful
Are vampires moronic?
>less blood, more power
but you turn into a dry ballsack with wings
>drink blood
normal appearance + bub and vagene
it makes me less powerful
>Are vampires moronic?
Anon you described the perfect alcoholic.
what kind of vampire
bram stokers weird sex vampires
blade tier bath in blood matrix vampires
sleepy moron vampires from I am legend
anne rice vampire
So you gonna suck muh dick?
we forgot to mention "Lost Boys" type of vampires.
why should i suck a dead wiener?
moronic What We Do In The Shadows vampires
Well Shit, bat transformation, hypnosis, super speed, and loyal familiars.
Fair enough
though what if you could only have a gay Hispanic familiar like Guillermo?
still worth it?
they always have a lot of fun and they have cool powers. I'll take it.
>bram stokers weird sex vampires
? Were we sexually vampires all the way back then?, I thought that would be like the 70s at the earliest.
i was thinking of the movie, which is francis fords bram strockers dracula with keanu reeves, not the book itself, good catch my friend
>movie, which is francis fords bram strockers dracula with keanu reeves,
My moronic ADHD (unironic) brain did some super fast word association, and I immediately though of this https://youtu.be/_lSwwqDpoVc (it's from the game adaptation/tie-in)
& while looking it up, I saw that it (at the original AVGN vid) were uploaded 13 years ago.
>13 years
The book is pretty clearly sexual. The process by which Lucy is turned, and the overall outcome, is very clearly an analogy for getting dicked down.
Underworld vampire
Peter Watts "Blindsight" vampires.
but you already have autism
>You'd be nigh immortal but you'd have to drink blood and
immortal nice. drink blood? yuck. i don't wanna drink parasites commonly found in raw(and cooked) blood too.
>also be vulnerable to sunlight, silver bullets and stakes through the heart.
dude. sunlight already gives me cancer and moles. bullets and stakes kill me all the same as a human bean. why even?
i would totally wanna be a sexy Blade.
>sleepy moron
That's me, alright
For me, it's the Hellsing kind (a true vampire, not one of the fake ones). Just keep accumulating lives and familiars at a comfy pace.
Why would you get MORE powerful if you don't feed?
your humanity gives way to the beast within
So like the VTM vampires? Never liked that personally. Makes zero sense that starving yourself would give you more powers and something like a "blood high" just after feeding making you the most powerful you can be makes way more sense.
yeah i dont think it makes sense either
unironically twilight did it well with newborns being at their strongest because theyre still full of mostly human blood and shit
It's a trick, you end up with "The Strain" vampires. Enjoy being a Ken Doll.
So it also cures my coomerism? I'm sold.
>blade tier bath in blood matrix vampires
Depends, do I get to be a day walker like Blade?
I really dig the design they're going with in The Last Voyage of the Demeter.
Shame the crew seem to have been picked totally at random with what appears to be little chemistry.
It will be better than Renfield I can tell you that much
>The Last Voyage of the Demeter
i've been looking forward to this movie
>Director André Øvredal described this movie as "basically Alien (1979) on a ship in 1897
Mite b decent.
Apparently Viggo Mortensen was also attached at one point but no longer is, which is a shame.
>no Vigo
>no Noomi
>trailer was mostly Tyrone screaming
Yea, it will suck.
>/x/
Jimmy Pop kind of vampire
I'm already vulnerable to the last 2, and I try to avoid the sun anyway, so I guess it depends on whether I need to drink human blood or if animal blood will work.
you can drink animal blood but it barely keeps you alive.
this, plus if I don't get a qt vampire gf then what's the point
I have spent 5 hours outside in a single day maybe 10 days in the last 20 years. I feel fine.
Of coy
I'm Already vulnerable to stakes and bullets. Sounds like an upgrade besides the sun. Can you drink animal blood?
Yes, but human blood keeps the thirst away longer, also no other food taste good or is digestible
yes but then you sparkle like the Cullens from Twilight
I'd feel bad drinking people's blood. Unless they were into it which could be enjoyable
sure why not
The vampires in the D stories are my favorites, as they were so heavily inspired by those old Hammer films and Bela Lugosi. It is interesting that despite their powers, they are not the most content beings you'd imagine. Being a vampire is to exist in a profound state of perpetual ennui and melancholy.
>profound state of perpetual ennui and melancholy.
But I already exist thusly
how would you like to live thrustly... into me? 😉
I want to get into this series but the last time I looked there seemed to be some weird stuff about the viewing order, something about there being a bunch of untranslated novels or something? What's the recommended way to get into it?
So many of the nobility in Vampire Hunter D are so excited when D comes to kill them it's hilarious.
Who was that chick in the early books who is like "wow I want to marry D ...or let him kill me, either or."
I brought this up the other day in another vampire thread, but y'all ever read Carmilla? It's basically 19th century fap material about the og lesbian vampires.
>written 26 years before Dracula
Interesting, I didn't even know such a thing existed. Is it "smut" or actual literature?
I read it a long time ago, don't really remember the details, but I liked it well enough. It's very short.
I think it’s lit. I now it’s been adapted into vampyir, a german expression movie from the 30s. It’s quite good
It's not smut, but it might have passed for such at the time it was written.
It's more on the wholesome side if anything. But I honestly can't remember if it paints Carmilla in a bad light by the end, I get the feeling it was more predatory as it's her nature, I just remember cute lesbian shit frankly.
>She used to place her pretty arms about my neck, draw me to her, and laying her cheek to mine, murmur with her lips near my ear.
>"Dearest, your little heart is wounded. Think me not cruel because I obey the irresistible law of my strength and weakness. If your dear heart is wounded, my wild heart bleeds with yours."
>And when she had spoken such a rhapsody she would press me more closely in her trembling embrace, and her lips and soft kisses gently glow upon my cheek.
There's no like explicit smut, just kind of intimate stuff like that.
i got the impression it was sort of carmilla indulging in the fantasy of being a young girl and a lover while her primal core interest in the narrator is predatory in the literal sense, with how it has her in the form of a big cat or a panther stalking her when she's drinking and stuff like that. but there's some ambiguity either way which makes it more memorable imo
Maybe I'm misinformed, but I think it was written when tragic lesbian fiction, where one of them dies (to show why lesbianism bad), was popular.
>Carmilla
She thicc af though.
frfr on caine
Yes but only if my family can be as well
I think the eternal youth, long lifespan are worth anything. If I could choose, I'd like Dracula Untold, almost superhero tier powers.
No because they don't have blood so can't get a boner
Does that mean Dracula was duffle bagging it to make Alucard?
Yes.
he's the OG vampire slayer
In what sense? Vincent Price never played Van Helsing, or Darcuula for what it's worth.
how painful are the weaknesses in case I want to die? living super long doesn't appeal to me
nah the best characters always choose martyrdom/suicide over monsterism
>be vampire
>do PC gaming all day in mommy's basement
>nightime comes
>turn into bat and flap into city
>succ the blood of some moronic party goers
>flap back to PC gaming
I'm thinking yes
>mom dies
How do you pay the bills anon?
>electricity cut
>No internet
How do you pay the bills anon?
you'll either have to rob your victims, which will require you to become a mass murderer to pay the bills, and have the police on the lookout as the nightlife in your city grinds to a half, or you figure something out with organised crime gangs who will sponsor you in return for you becoming their hitman of death, which will in turn get you killed anyway as a few guys with shotguns camping a hallway will easily take you out/rumours of an unkillable cannibal will spread and cops will get involved yet again etc.
I would've taken you more seriously pre-coof because the people around me kept partying the entire time so rumors of a cannibal wouldn't stop anyone from going out
You shouldn't drain people anyway and you can just use your bleh bleh bleh powers to have them Give you money.
Just find some rich sugar mommy and have her take care of you by using your glamour, you Are an Attractive vampire right? Right?
>Are an Attractive vampire right? Right?
Nosferatu no
I take the Supernatural route - turn it into a buisness like the fat eating monsters Sam and Dean encountered.
I’m vulnerable to regular bullets and a steak through the heart now, and I hate the sun do not really a problem. I see no downside.
Need vampire wife
Hell yes. Vampire media always tries to make vampirism a monstrous curse and it's just never convincing. Immortality + super powers? Sign me up. Being a scourge of god/gods is just an added bonus. You notice how the vampires don't usually ever want to die unless they're like 800 years old and getting tired? And anyway you can just have a nice day if it's really so bad.
For me, it's clan Lasombra btw.
But you'll die if someone shoots you with silver bullets, stakes your heart or decapitates you.
I’d die to those as a human too
Silver bullets are for werewolves.
It originally was a vampiric weakness too. The whole point of mirrors not showing their reflection is because they used to be partially made out of silver back then.
>And anyway you can just have a nice day if it's really so bad
couldn't you just "go to sleep" and become a statue?
You go to Hell after you die if you’re a vampire.
if I'm a vampire I won't die though. Easy.
>Says he won’t die
>Proceeds to die anyways
Great plan
Don't know why your post reminded me of this https://youtu.be/D8M8I2SYEiA
So will you but at least I i know why.
>Vampire media always tries to make vampirism a monstrous curse
This. The
"it is la curse"
Is beyond moronic.
Everyone says that.
There is no justification for that.
I think the only good curse depiction was in the owl house (before it got all moronic)
>You are cursed
>You need to drink this or you turn into a raging monster that you can not control
A real curse.
>PS The medicine is stopping to work now LOL.
Then the show did go full moron and
>Accept the curse into your hart to get DBZ super powers.
I want to frick Eda in every form
>the owl house
referencing a Disney tv show talking about vampires? - you have to be 18 to post here anon.
>Vampire media always tries to make vampirism a monstrous curse and it's just never convincing
My favorite one was the vampire from twilight twinkling in the sun and saying "look! I am a monster!"
Vampires in Twilight are basically mormon angels the sun making them sparkle is basically just god's grace showing their divinity.
Being a Twilight vamp doesn't seem so bad, you get a couple of years of being super strong but you can also get a super power on top of immortality and you can drink the blood of animals.
>being a vampire promises dominion over the earth but at the cost of your very soul and humanity
wow, almost like that's the point and what vampires have explored since they were first conceived
the aspect you're ignoring, however, is that all that immortal beauty and fantastic strength also means you'll never know a moment of peace or happiness, every moment of your life is driven by the hunger. even setting aside the horrific cost of human life (which is supposed to be one of the worst parts) imagine every second of every day that gnawing, insatiable need at the back of your mind
i think that's what makes vampires cool, I like them as an allegory for power a lot more than anything else. sure you're immortal, but you can never enjoy the most basic parts of what makes life good, are obsessed with the most base desires imaginable, and sustain yourself with (ironically) the lowest, most disgusting behavior
>you'll never know a moment of peace or happiness, every moment of your life is driven by the hunger
how is that different to what I'm living now? ;_;
i dunno man, even if things are bad you'd need to be super-mega addicted to some harsh shit to be on the level of a vampire
like 95% of vampire media has them talk about how they're ALWAYS hungry for blood, it isn't a human hunger where you get full and takes a while to be hungry again. it's more like a drug, you have some reprieve while you're taking the hit but the second the brief high is over, you're even hungrier than you were before
I think cause we see so many fancy draculas that've gotten really good at hiding their hunger we ignore what's obviously the biggest downside even more than no sunlight. being that addicted to something would fricking suck, you can never have a moment to just relax and enjoy yourself. all that ageless strength and beauty and crazy powers but end of the day it's all just to get one more hit and, oh look, five hours later you're sucking some guy under the queensboro bridge
>"hey man, do you wanna have super powers and never age but also be the biggest junkie in human history who can only get a hit through murder, oh also you can never go in sunlight, go to holy places, cross running water, or this other list of like 60 arbitrary things that will kill you?"
i'm saying no at the addiction, I've been around enough to know that being a slave to anything is worse than being the most forgettable person in history
>it's more like a drug, you have some reprieve while you're taking the hit but the second the brief high is over, you're even hungrier than you were before
Never shown in any Vamp media.
>i'm saying no at the addiction,
Says the one addicted to oxygen. If you disagree stop taking oxygen in for 10 minutes.
please I've literally had my butthole reamed just for another hit of H
being a vamp would be a positive move in my life, at least I won't die from the AIDS maybe it will even cure it.
>I dunno man, even if things are bad you'd need to be super-mega addicted to some harsh shit to be on the level of a vampire
People aren't that creative. How they're shown in media is how so many people live their lives. Typically they're portrayed as indulgent socialites who sleep during the day and only come out at night to indulge. There's thousands of social circles in every major city that live like that.
>i'm saying no at the addiction, I've been around enough to know that being a slave to anything is worse than being the most forgettable person in history
Sounds like you went through something rough, sorry mate. But me personally? Living a life where I didn't give it a taste sounds like not living at all. All the great minds burn out for a reason.
> Sounds like you went through something rough, sorry mate
Not really, just known enough addicts and done work with homeless/drugees to be certain it’s the absolute worst life possible
Not only are you a gross bum covered in your own shit, your mind is so twisted you don’t care and focus all your energy to fuel the addiction
Yeah it is, they don’t always make the 1:1 allegory for drug use but the comparison is always there
The insatiable thirst, the look they give their prey, treating everyone as means to another score, the literal look of getting high they almost always have when sucking blood, the list goes on
Even if not every movie presents them as drug addicts, they obviously are and behave exactly like the worst of them
And oxygen is a moronic comparison, you have no compulsion to seek air or pleasure from breathing (like you do with food) you just naturally always do it, and die as soon as you don’t
It would be interesting to approach vampires not feeding as feeling like constantly holding your breath, but then that’s just back to being an addict
I think that kinda proves my point
>Even if not every movie presents them as drug addicts
I like to know what present them as drug addicts.
It's not really there.
>And oxygen is a moronic comparison,
Why?
>you have no compulsion to seek air
Stop taking in new oxygen for 10 minutes and say that again.
>and die as soon as you don’t
Almost like a vampire who has not gotten his blood?
>food
Drinking water is a better analogy.
The le addicted does not work since
1) most vamp media shows them not having problems with their le addiction
2) Humans need to get air and drink and eat or they freak out and then die.
Maybe if I could get the blood ethically
There would literally be people lined up to donate blood to real life vampires as long as there weren't too many of them.
That might not last long though once everybody realizes all the vampires are actually just Cinemaphile NEETs
>no bleh posts
tv has fallen
we're all in the earthrocker thread
new video dropped
>
Yep
Nah the entire point is that being a Vampire is kind of a shitty hollow existence when you get down to it, and that's just the physical aspects like being trapped in the night and slave to all the rules and limitations. But also the idea that everything is just a sad mockery of life you can't truly enjoy and all you truly crave is blood. And you have no soul.
People get hyped up on the idea that these are free super powers and not a horrible curse.
You don't want to be a vampire. You don't want to be a werewolf. You shouldn't be invisible. No don't take that magic serum to go to gay sex parities and beat up the homeless.
>And you have no soul.
This statement makes no sense whatsoever.
Can you explain how it makes sense anon?
>b-b-b-b-b- no soul
What is that and why do you need that?
Coming from that "AI will not happen because it has no soul" thread soul is a meaningles word.
If you disagree say how you can detect if something has or does not have a soul.
Souls are bullshit. Only cope for morons these days and made up bullshit so clergy can scare you into doing what it wants since after you die your soul will burn in hell if you do not obey the clergy.
It ties into the rest. When you become a vampire you lose your humanity, and become detached from worldly things. You end up craving your humanity to feel something, but you can never come back from being a vampire, at least by the point you start seriously regretting it. If you can even eat human food or drink normal things they'll taste like ash in your mouth. Mind wise you become unable to feel emotions, instead becoming a beast relying on instinct pretending to be human. That's why the concept of a vampire meeting someone who looks like their long lost love exists, because it's about the vampire desperately trying to chase their humanity but still just being a beast in the end. It's not memeshit like something not having "soul" because it doesn't look like a N64 game.
>When you become a vampire you lose your humanity, and become detached from worldly things. You end up craving your humanity to feel something, but you can never come back from being a vampire, at least by the point you start seriously regretting it.
So, like becoming a billionaire?
But billionaire can became bankrupt and work for McDonalds for life.
>a bloodsucking parasite that considers regular people "cattle" and hates Christ
Anon, there's another allegory you're missing.
But vampires don't wear funny little hats
>fantasy world where vampires exist and are burned by holy water and crucifixes
>GODS STILL NOT REAL EVEN IN FICTION
I pray for you.
>holy water
In most movies this is not true or vampires also are destroyed by normal swatter no joke.
>crucifixes
Not so common these days
>crucifixes
>WOW a shape hurts a magic creature?
>This must mean that the religion who stole that symbol from its original meaning is the right one ^.^
Imagine being peak /misc/
I work nights and usually get home before sunrise. I already live an empty existence thanks to modernity. Being a vampire would be an upgrade.
At least then I could woo women with my magic powers before I drain them of their blood.
what line of work is it
a night supervisor for a big box retail store
aka make sure a bunch of people put away freight and stock shelves. its actually not bad if you are an introvert and don't want to deal with people.
sounds like a good job actually
I mean, aside from sunlight, I'm vulnerable to silver bullets and stakes through the heart right now . Seems like a good deal.
Unless you're a Count Orlok type vampire (where sunlight literally destroys you) If sunlight just weakens me, I think I can manage. Especialy if I get the other cool vampire traits (hypnotic persuasion, for example)
Yes. It’s all I really want.
dont forget, according to dracula in that movie at least, he can no longer feel joy or sorrow, enjoy the taste of food or feel warmth.
like, he is actually a living undead, and he makes it sound like a pretty miserable existence, driven on only by his own egomania and spite for all living things, although apparently he still fricks
Then what's the point of having brides? Calling bullshit.
They come across like a liability that for some reason he has to put up with and manage.
in the movie it comes across as basically 2 things
1: an ego stroke. get b***hes, show em off for clout
2: he's trying to make mini draculas. the whole process seems miserable, unnatural, and grotesque, so im guessing for him its purely a means to an end.
in van helsing dracula is a very much demonic monster masquerading as a man, rather than the bram stokers version of a man who can occasionally assume a monstrous form
>pic
>Would you a vampire?
I said yeah until I realized it said would you BE a vampire, then I'm like nooooo
I read it at that too at first, but I still answered yes to the actual question. & I mean, vampire males are depicted as having harems in a bunch of media, so you'd still get vampussy
If vampires are real, then hell is probably real and that'd be where you'd go when you finally end that "immortality".
Not sure that's worth it.
that's why you feed on bad people only
Bad people's blood tastes bad. It's canon that pure blood tastes best. Bad person blood tastes like eating dirt.
>pure blood tastes best
you do not drain pure blood people, you just sip them like fine wine and let them live on
>like fine wine
Vampires don’t drink...wine, so they don’t know how to do that. The just gulp everything.
>Implying I wouldn’t use my maxed out True Faith stat to cure myself out of vampirism during my last moments
There’s also the nut job gargoyle that manages to cure all high humanity vampires during the final nights. Your thin blood is showing, anarch.
>hell is probably real
Says who?
Literally does not follow.
because the crucifix, holy water, etc. work on them
that's not entirely true...
There has never been an unattractive female vampire. Absolutely. Bring on the sex cult.
What about Dunst in interview with the vampire
He said UNattractive.
I bet it would be really annoying to be a vampire. How are you going to create a new identity when people start to get suspicious of why you don't age? You would still need money, so what are you going to do? Be a security guard?
>You would still need money
you rob your victim
And when there is no cash in the future?
credit cards and what they have on them. and yes you know the passwords because you can read minds
Just use some korean-tier makeup routine to make yourself look older as the years pass.
>You would still need money, so what are you going to do?
If you have the og vampire powers you could just go around hypnotising people and have a couple of familiars solving mundane shit for you.
Work a lifetime worth, save everything, investing where possible, generate passive income from investment dividends until you have enough to live on. Might take fifty, sixty years or so, but you’ve got time. Especially with vampire strength and endurance. Work exclusively night shift until your investments start paying off.
You'd need familiars for their ID.
You start living as a recluse so no one sees you then 20 or 30 years later you show up pretending to be your son/grandson who was living in Brazil or some shit. There are plenty of shit corrupt countries where you can get a totally legit passport if you have the money.
>sunlight, silver bullets and stakes through the heart.
Im already vulnerable to these things
Wanted to for as long as I can remember.
vampires cant go into buildings without being invited first
You only need to be invited into private spaces, anywhere the general public is allowed to go in is fine.
Frick yes, I've wanted it since the 90s, I can count the days in a year that the sun even touches my skin on one hand. The charm comes with so many benefits and if I ever get bored I just go praise the sun for one last time. I don't give a frick about eternal damnation I'm probably headed down there anyway lol
Infinite goth pussy generator if you go public
But you will also be hunted (merited?) by crazy people
tap tap tap
>You'd be nigh immortal
No you would not be immortal no vampire is immortal.
You are thinking of eternal youth/eternal life. Immortal is literally immune to death like can not die ever.
> silver bullets
And humans are known for their immunity to bullets? Or silver bullets? Why is this even here?
>stakes through the heart.
And humans are known for their immunity to stakes through the heart.? Why is this even here?
This is one of the many reasons why vampires are 100% bullshit.
>vulnerable to sunlight,
The only valid concern and the biggest one.
>Would you be a vampire?
Had to say if we going by TV land brain fricked logic I say YES no problem.
In the real world.... This is deeply problematic and questionable.
Depending under what vampire biology the "vulnerable to sunlight" works you either burst into flames or explode if even 1 sun ray hits you (good luck testing that one).
Now lets say you became a vampire.OK now you have max 10h to find a place where there is zero sunlight or you explode from sunlight.
Do you have this place?
No? So much for immortality vampire boy.
Do you have a place that has 1 room or whatever that is 100% closed from sunlight?
No?
Can you get one in 11h?
No? So much for immortality vampire boy.
If you have a place like this ....
Are you sure no one will open your place during the day (family, friends)?
No? So much for immortality vampire boy.
Vampires in fiction magically have a home.
A home no one opens up during the day.
A home that magically pays property taxes and no one opens.
There is never a situation where the police or swat needs to get into this home.
2/2
PS: vampire fans the turbo fast way yo kill a vampire in modern times it to call the SWAT on their home.
You get crazy government bulldogs running into the vamp home and opening every room while screaming like fat fascists who are on crack and McDonalds. If you do this during the day there are 2 options
A) the vampire gets exposed to sunlight and explodes.
B) the vampire somehow kills all the swat.
Now if the vampire kills all the swat then the government will keep on sending more SWAT to their vamp home.
Also how is the vampire paying for his home? Remember normal business hours are 9/10 when the sun is up.
How can the vamp get money?
Do they work? If yes it is less "le immortal vampire" and more "le try to desperately find a job that only works when the sun is down"
I work from home. I can legit not open the window. I live alone. Checkmate.
You can also just burn down the vampires house during daytime and they can do frick all to stop it without any day going minions.
you're goddam right
>Commit the crime of arson to kill a vampire
VS
>Lawfully and legally report a suspicious man who is guilty of murder to kill a vampire
You are right anon however one of these things is a crime you need to hide while the other is not.
>day going minions.
Peak bullshit.
And the reason why vampire media is bullshit.
Fright Night
>Awchually there is another magic guy that protects the vampire and is even more magical then the vampire is and can go out into the sun and and and.....
Jesus Christ WTF is even that thing?
Vampire media is so stupid it needs to invent more unexplained bullshit.
WTF was that magic guy? And no he is not some indoctrinated human or whatever he like fricken resists gun shots and has bugs inside of him. Movie never explains.
That would just be a ghoul, and ghouls are no longer just human so they get some powers and resistance to damage. The movie doesn't explain it just because it's already established vampire lore so it doesn't need to hold your hand and Tell you things.
>The movie doesn't explain it
Because it is badly written.
>That would just be a ghoul,
What are the exact powers of this ghoul and why is he stronger then a vampire?
How can vampires create ghouls?
And since when?
You know vampires have a shit load of lore.
>Can not walk over moving water
>Dies from water
>Needs to be invited
>Various plants end him.
well, if the type of vampire we're talking about can have thralls, he can pretty much insulate himself from most concerns of money and physical security
jc shut the frick up, nerd
>Immortal is literally immune to death like can not die ever.
That would be invulnerable. Elves in LotR are immortal, but they can still be killed.
>That would be
This is not how language works anon.
Cinemaphile does not understand that when Villains scream
>I AM IMMORTAL
When turning into vampires it is to show they are insane and do not understand or downplay with cope that sunlight ends them.
They are not actually immortal no one who dies is.
>invulnerable
Nope.
Lets see
>tank is invulnerable to bullets
does not mean the tank can not be taken out.
The irony here is that it's actually you who doesn't know what these words mean, mr. Redditor.
Explain how immortal AKA immune to death does not mean immune to death.
Immortal does not just mean to be immune to death. It also means immune to decay aka death by old age.
A person who does not age is immortal despite a shotgun blast to the head killing him.
>A person who does not age is immortal despite a shotgun blast to the head killing him.
You contradicted your own definition.
>Immortal does not just mean to be immune to death.
See.
>to decay aka death by old age.
Oh anon if only words like
>ETERNAL YOUTH
OR
>PERPETUAL YOUTH
Existed in the alternative dimension you are posting from.
I'm not contradicting anything. This has been discussed a million times.
Literally nobody cares about the dictionary definition and even some dictionaries define it the way I said it.
Yet dictionaries don't matter. The only thing that matter is how common people define it and use it. So it means what I said it means. Nobody cares about the rest. Some of its definitions are:
- something that lasts forever
- something that can not be killed
- something that is immune to natural causes of death
That's how everyone uses it and as such that is what the word means. Also google homonym you absolute fricking moron.
>ETERNAL YOUTH
Could be a synonym for some common defintions of immortal. But you can be immortal while aging, you will just look as old as frick. This is valid in some fantasy contexts.
>immortal
>immortal
>immortal
You keep using that word non stop for no reason whatsoever.
For some reason vamp fiction convinced people to use this word this way and also using the word
>undead
like a moron
Undead = living.
Also nothing dead can really function so vampires are not dead or other moronation.
>Could be a synonym
Why the frick do you not use that word?
>I'm not contradicting anything
Yes you are lets see:
>Immortal does not just mean to be immune to death.
> not just
> not just
> not just
By how the fricken language works this means that immortal can mean more.
In other words it literally can never mean less and can never violate what you have written yourself
>Immortal does not just mean to be immune to death.
In other words
>Immortal mean immune to death.
I have no idea how this can mean more however you can not self contradict yourself later by saying
>a shotgun blast to the head killing him.
You are self contradicting and clearly are making all words mean nothing.
You are just autistic mate. Sorry.
Normal people communicate with lose definitions of words and infer the meaning based on tone, body language, context, etc. Dictionary words are only used for clarification in scientific and related fields. So that picking up the context specific meaning is easier.
In fact all people have their own, differing models of reality, but they are similar enough that during normal conversation the differences don't come out as people instincively infer what the other one means and most of the time the difference isn't enough to warrant a more serious discussion about it.
Anyway, I can see that we won't convince each other so I'm finishing this conversation here. But please do search what homonym means.
>You are just autistic mate. Sorry.
Tell that to people who have doctor and professor degrees
>Normal people communicate with lose definitions of words
Cope of the morons.
> the meaning based on tone, body language,
Totally the same way
>I raped her
can mean you literally raped her or that you literally gave her flowers.
You are a moron stop making words meaningless.
What are you two autists on about with that guy?
>Tell that to people who have doctor and professor degrees
Holy shit the cope. You are neither. You are just two morons wasting your life away on Cinemaphile over something entirely meaningless everyone else except you autists understand perfectly.
Also, that dude is correct. Non-autists just infer meaning and shit instead of throwing a temper tantrum like you autist shitters do.
Go back to your hugboxes.
>Anyway, I can see that we won't convince each other so I'm finishing this conversation here.
OK
>But please do search what homonym means.
You self contradict.
>But please do search what homonym means.
Say Mr.
>Yea like man everyone has like their own model of reality and shit like go along and shit.
God you're daft
Woah you freaking scienced the SHIT out of this b***h!
It's just sun rays that kills a vampire. Indirect sunlight doesn't harm them. They prefer the dark though.
>immortal
The worst fate one can receive.
NOOOO DON'T SUCK MY BLOOD NOO I'LL TURN INTO ONE OF Y-
NOOO DON'T SUCK MY wiener
STOP SUCKING MY wiener NOOOO
NOOO DON'T SUCK MY wiener FOR ALL ETERNITY NOOOO POOR ME OHHH PLEASE NOOOO
Okay buttholes, how will you keep your vampirism a secret? You're all spergs, you think you can just get false IDs, backgrounds etc made that easily? What about your family?
my lair is my parents' basement
>You're all spergs, you think you can just get false IDs, backgrounds etc made that easily?
Yes. Also it's not like vampires need to work to live or eat. You can walk off to another country and bribe your way into a slight side gig type lifestyle. Who cares if some bar owner doesn't have the clearest records? Also since most vampires have powers petty crime is easy as hell.
Rolling into town, grabbing some maybe rathole apartment in cash, working the streets so you build up capital and connections to work yourself up the ladder Bloodlines style. It's such a comfy kino existence.
You can pretend to be a human fore a good couple decades. Eventually you'll have to fake a death for your family which sucks, but some people have it worse with actually dying.
I'm inviting vampire Sarah Gadon in, I don't care what you say.
this exact frame never shows up in van helsing. never ever. ive looked dozens of times
Vamps are my favourite of the usual monsters, but not really. I love them as villains/antagonists and the such, they're hot and aesthetic, but I couldn't live without the sun. I don't think anyone can, honestly. Sure I've spent 2 months inside my apartment without once getting out once, and could do it for more time, but I like the sun. And all the downsides about immortality and covering up your tracks and blah-blah-blah. Sounds more like a hassle to me. Honestly, I wouldn't jump into the "dark overlord" role in general. What's the point of being King of the ashes, you know? It's too restrictive.
Is an Alaskan Vampire playing on easy mode or is the lack of people a real downside
Yeah, sure.
shit, I'd even go nosferatu if it meant immortality and some super strength
based living in the shadows bro
just don't break the Masquerade
My life wouldn't change that much. As soon as I got a thrall to do some shit for me, and got an internet hookup, I'd mostly just be shitposting here and playing Factorio.
unfathomably based vidya bro
if only it could truly be... ;_;
if only indeed.. shoutout to any actual nosferatu (if you exist, and all the VTM stuff is an intricate psyop) in this thread, please turn me the next time I go to take out the trash (which is always at night, so I can avoid the neighbors)
>be near dark vampire
>once I'm bored get a blood transfusion and retire as a human
Easy choice
>Can be killed by stake through heart
>Getting shot/stabbed with silver hurts/kills me
>Beheading kills me
>Don't go out in sun much anyway
>Not that fond of garlic
So the only downside really is I have to drink blood, and in exchange I am more or less immortal and probably gain all kinds of other superhuman abilities?
well no, the downside is that you would probably have to kill people, in most incarnations they are also depicted as some kind of demon.....so there is that
You don't have to kill people though. You can buy human blood (for research purposes) with relative ease. You could also just break into a blood bank with all your super fricking powers vampirism gives.
Or you could just drink peoples blood and not kill them?
but you would be evil so why bother?
I'm barely a few decades old and I already want to expire and leave this clown world
Sunscreen, picrel.
Frick Deacon Frost is the man. Great character and great performance.
Also while we're on the subject, this being the Cinemaphile board, stop saying this scene was the first use of 'bullet time'. I wasn't fricking 'bullet time' the way that term is meant in the context of The Matrix. It was just fricking slow motion with a rather shitty 2D bullet effect. Not the multiple camera 'time slicing' used in The Matrix. Frick I get sick of hearing people parrot that stupid 'first bullet time' shit. Go watch it if you doubt me.
I was just watchin a lore video on Blade Vampires earlier and didn't realize how much there really is since I never read the comics. I'm about to rewatch Blade just because of your post
Yeah, it's a great fricking flick despite it being in the really dodgy era of CGI. Despite my hatred for the "Greedo shot first" revision of movie effects, I'd love to see a version with improved CGI. My favourite thing about that film is the bad guy winning and achieving God-tier powers, then the hero has to work overtime to beat him. I feel gyped whenever the bad guy doesn't succeed and get to enjoy it - even if it's just for a moment.
I would be interested in lore video you're talking about. Link?
nta but its probably this youtuber
Thanks. I never read comics, but thought the lore I did see in the films was pretty cool. I mean the Daywalker is great just by itself, but all the Blood God shit and needing the Daywalker for that made it even better. The conflict between Frost and the old pureblood gays was the frickin' shit though. Elevates that character to one seriously ruthless, evil motherfricker.
I don't think it was a particularly great video but the info was interesting since I don't even remember the other Blade movies. I might as well just watch them all even with their bad CGI
I always felt like the Blade vampires turned people way too fricking easily. At the rate they are feeding there would be no humans left. Makes way more sense that actually turning someone is not just an automatic "infection" type byproduct of feeding but requires its own ritual of the vampire first completely draining and then making the victim drink his blood in return, or something else at least as complicated as that, if not more.
that's cool though and then the pic related world would happen
My issue is basically that that should've already happened. The Blade vampires risk turning the human EVERY time they feed and they need to feed constantly. It would just snowball out of control. Also, Blade vampires are still completely hidden from humanity and the reason the Daybreakers vamps could take over was unironically because it was public from the start and SJWs started advocating for vampire rights, so the two scenarios are very different.
is Blade the only vampire hunter in his universe?
alot of vampire hunters would explain away the inconsistency
Not sure, but that just gets in the territory of "well maybe there's this unseen entity that solves all plot inconsistencies" and that's just not fun.
I think it's cannon in vampire lore that usually vampires drain their victims until they die, for one to turn into a vampire they would have to survive. Same as with werewolves, you don't get turned if the attack kills you obv.
Nah, you need to be drained to the point where you die from blood loss and in most cases you need to also drink the vampire's blood to complete the transformation instead of just dying. Then after you've died you resurrect as a vampire.
That's one way vampire stories deal with it. But draining a victim completely simply kills them.
Need a sequel where Stephen Dorff plays an older vampire working for the Federal Government trying to find and take down Blade with his army of bloodsucking IRS agents.
Dracula in the Bram Stoker novel was not killed by sunlight, it just restricted his powers and locked him in his current form.
Dracula Untold was kinda cool how Vlad the Chad could walk in the shadows during the day, but still had to avoid direct sunlight. Interesting dynamic.
In a heartbeat
I see you're a man of culture as well. Imagine the pubes.
imagine being a vampire neet
you can play video games forever and just suck blood once a week then go back to gaming with your superhuman reflexes
you aren't wasting your life since you're immortal, so you can just get infinitely good at something competitive
Being a vampire SUCKS because you have nothing left to live for other than drinking blood. There's no point to your life anymore. It's the type of deal that seems great if you don't think about it for more than 2 seconds but it's a grass is always greener type situation. When you're mortal you want to live forever. But what's the point of living if you're not mortal?
the reddit take
>When you're mortal you want to live forever. But what's the point of living if you're not mortal?
The childish musings of a moron on copium.
>Being a vampire SUCKS because you have nothing left to live for other than drinking blood.
Being human sucks because you have nothing left to live for other than work eat earn money repeat.
2 can play this game.
how do vampires survive at summer when there's like 5 hours of night?
How do mortals survive winter when it's always sub-freezing?
mortals don't turn into a popsicle a second they feel subzero temperature you moron
You're the moron for not understanding the implications in his post of the PLACE you can stay sheltered in during summer sun and winter cold.
it's a shitty comparison because humans can spend an entire day outside using winter clothes whereas vampires are limited to just 5 hours a day otherwise they fricking burn and die
where are you where it's only dark for 5 hours
also use your abilities as a vampire to become wealthy enough to just get a wicked mansion to hide in during the day
>also use your abilities as a vampire to
Explain how you do that anon.
>Muh magic vamp powers
Like?
Show your brilliant plan.
I assume you can make thralls through feeding and have some degree of hypnotism
mind control is easy money
you will practically be worshiped by women
just have some dedicated prostitutes funnel money to you
also you are built for thieving
so steal
take the money from people you feed on
Are you aware there are people who are not even vampires that go outside less than 5 hours per day for months at a time?
NTA.
>Are you aware there are people who are not even vampires that go outside less than 5 hours per day for months at a time?
No.
Name them.
> for months at a time?
Does their skin get in contact with the sun? Because this explodes the vampire.
>outside less than 5 hours per day for months at a time?
How hard is their vitamin D deficiency?
>Name them.
You wouldn't know them
>Does their skin get in contact with the sun? Because this explodes the vampire.
OK so close your blinds? You're a vampire.
>How hard is their vitamin D deficiency?
Its bad. Vampires wouldn't have this problem.
I was using shut-ins as an example because an immortal would have a much easier time being limited to 5 hours of outside time per day than a human. I don't get why you think that would be a problem for an immortal.person with super powers.
>You wouldn't know them
Google maps exists. Show these places.
>Muh immortal
LOL vamp shits explode from the sun this is the opposite of being immortal.
>much easier time being limited to 5 hours of outside time per day than a human
HOW?
No seriously HOW???!!!!
NEETS require mom to do everything for them.
And I did not see NEET Vampires in any fiction.
>much easier time being limited to 5 hours of outside time per day
How do you get your money?
How do you pay rent?
How do you not get people getting into your home?
>Be neet
>be turned into a vampire
>sleep at home
>Can not get into contact with the sun
>Mom walked in
>Oh ANON let some sunlight in
>Vamp NEET explodes.
They travel, live in areas with lots of shade, live underground or maybe just dig a hole and sleep in the ground.
Can you imagine living in the Paris catacombs?
>They
See
>Can you imagine living in the Paris catacombs?
Name the city you are in right now.
Now name the distance to the Paris catacombs.
Can you get there in less then 5h? Remember sunlight will explode you vampire boy.
they put on a hoodie
Why not just move to the poles for six months at a time?
>how do vampires survive at summer when there's like 5 hours of night?
I'm going to side step your question and ask a better one.
>how do vampires MAKE MONEY in summer when there's like 5 hours of night?
Vampire fiction makes no sense whatsoever.
They magically have money because the plot demands this.
>robbing the people they kill
>grave robbery
>creating a slave cult from people who want to become Vampires
>being already rich from real estate they bought centuries ago
already rich from real estate they bought centuries ago
Only how magically do you get to this stage if you are turned into a vampire in 2023?
See why it is bullshit?
>creating a slave cult from people who want to become Vampires
And how do you do that?
Start a Facebook group? ????
the people they kill
Do you have any idea how little money people have on them these days?
>I take the credit card and
Brilliant moron have fun the cops busting your door because they found out that after the guy died his credit card was used in X place.
robbery
Absolute cope. Is not that profitable and have fun digging all night to find there is nothing of value in this grave also have fun not getting noticed.
>And how do you do that?
Start a Facebook group? ????
In pretty much all vampire lore there is a concept of thralls, people which become bound to the vampire in exchange for some promise of future immortality, or just for the blessings of being a thrall (some diminished version of the vampires physical power). Get yourself a couple of people like that, let them support you.
I will agree that without this concept of thralls, being a vampire in this year would be somewhat difficult and precarious.
>people which become bound to the vampire
And you find them how?
>B-b-b- movies have
Anon themes movies also do not explain how the frick the vampire has money in like 60% of all movies.
> Get yourself a couple of people like that
And you find them how exactly? Serious question?
A Facebook group? ????
>I will agree that without this concept of thralls, being a vampire in this year would be somewhat difficult and precarious.
Good to know that we can agree.
However you see the chicken and egg scenario.
You need to be a vamp to have thralls.
If you become a vamp you have no thralls.
How do you find them without exploding to sunlight?
The Facebook group while sounding silly is a real proposition. Only a sure way to get the FBI on you and you vanish a FBI agent = SWAT = dead vamp.
>And you find them how?
You're obviously familiar with all the common vampire tropes, so you know they're often described to have animal magnetism or some power to seduce people. So go somewhere people congregate at night (bars, streets, subways, etc), chat them up, only with the added benefit of this power you'll very quickly be able to get them to do things for you. Before long they could supply you with a credit card and a phone, and once you found a decently wealthy, single person, you can have them get you a house or apartment.
I know to a Cinemaphile dweller this probably seems like more make believe and fantastical than the existence of a pseudo-human creature with superstrength that lives forever and drinks blood, but fact is that even a charismatic regular person without any superpowers could go out and get people to do things for him just by talking to them.
>Before long they could supply you with a credit card and a phone, and once you found a decently wealthy, single person, you can have them get you a house or apartment.
You literally have until the sun comes up or you explode.
Or how do you immanence your life before that ?
Serious question.
The biggest problem in vamp fiction is that all of them they explode in sunlight.
>The biggest problem in vamp fiction is that all of them they explode in sunlight.
Again, literally not a thing in Dracula. That was invented for the Nosferatu film as the big climax.
You do realize you can just rough it until you get an apartment or house to live? Literally go into a maintenance tunnel or abandoned area of your city, most cities have them.
>You do realize you can just rough it until you get an apartment or house to live?
Give your best examples.
>terally go into a maintenance tunnel or abandoned area of your city
Show their location anon.
> go into a maintenance tunnel o
Because magic vampire charisma can make everyone like you despite you smelling like shit for sleeping all day in the shit pipe?
you don't have to be liked for a while, you can literally just mug people for a while until you have the capital to clean yourself up
your expenses are: nothing because the blood is free and so is the tunnel
>you don't have to be liked for a while
It gets more and more fantastical.
>Capital
You are seriously overestimating what pocket change you can lift from people on the street.
>Free
Are your clothing? The ones you get dirty and blood all over?
What will you do next
>Hey girl!
>Yea invite me the dirty stinking rag hobo into your home since I can literally not enter any other way.
>Don't worry I washed all the blood on my face away with shit water.
>I like have vampire charisma, can you feel the magic girl?
> so is the tunnel
in magic vampire land the police never comes into shit tunnels to get all the hobos out.
Fun fact sunlight explodes you.
Your scenario is unbelievably fantastical.
I like to note that the "sunlight explodes you" is what makes vampires bullshit and how Tokyo Ghoul is better in this way since the monsters there need to feed on humans. However they do not have the sunlight weakness.
You do not need a special home where literally zero sunlight gets in etc.
Another fun fact Bram Stalker is a shit writer since in IRL vampire myths literally no person believed that vampires explode in sunlight. Yet here we are. Thanks TV land.
you are wrong on purpose at this point
Regardless how shit Tokyo Ghoul writing gets a monster that needs to feed on humans every 30 days or so and has no sunlight moronation > vampire shit.
Its far more believable since the Ghouls can pretend buy human food and save some money and manage to kill some humans on the side for food.
The fact that you do not ASAP rearrange your room to not get even 1 sun ray in or you explode is a benefit.
I also remind you the sunlight = death is bullshit fiction writers made up and are pushing.
Vampire fiction makes no sense whatsoever it is moronic trope on moronic trope.
>There is like a vampire in that castle
>And he like sleeps in the coffin or sunlight explodes him.
There is literally no explanation how it got this way.
There is this thing now stop asking questions.
>There is literally no explanation how it got this way.
There's a very obvious explanation: The people who made Nosferatu needed a dramatic last second save and made him die when hit by rays of the sun. It was nothing more than a plot device in a movie originally.
Bad writing form 100 years ago hounts modern fiction to this day.
>Give your best examples.
Give my best example of something that exists in literally every human city in existence? You could just go out and randomly explore right now and find a tunnel or secluded dark area.
>Because magic vampire charisma can make everyone like you despite you smelling like shit for sleeping all day in the shit pipe?
Maybe don't sleep in a literal shit pipe, and maybe on your first night make sure to get enough cash to go get a membership at a 24/7 gym so you can take a shower first thing before you go out enthralling people (depending on the vampire mythos and potency of the magic vampire charisma this might not even be needed).
>You could just go out and randomly explore right now and find a tunnel or secluded dark area.
Then you sure can name them.
Fun fact you find this hard outside 3 world shit holes like the USA.
Sure, I'll name them after you name the trees and branches outside your house. Because I don't believe there is such a thing as trees and branches in your city. It seems a bit too fantastical to me.
Who said anything about stipulating there would be "no expenses" to existing in modern, capitalist society, whether you're a fictional vampire or not?
Anyway, at this point I can only conclude you are either the most dense anime posting homosexual on this entire board, or a (You) vampire that I've been foolishly feeding. Probably the latter. Just can't help myself sometimes, enjoy the (You)s I guess.
>such a thing as trees and branches in your city. It seems a bit too fantastical to me.
LOL. I accept your unconditional surrender.
>modern, capitalist society, whether you're a fictional vampire or not?
Lets see
>your expenses are: nothing because the blood is free and so is the tunnel
>your expenses are: nothing
>your expenses are: nothing
>your expenses are: nothing
He did.
>modern, capitalist society, whether you're a fictional vampire or not?
The problem pro-vamp morons do is forget that the sunlight part is what makes vampires so difficult or impossible.
Unlike lets say Tokyo Ghoul where the Ghouls can get any human job and simply plan on hunting on the side, vampires have a restriction that they need to get a job now and somehow magically avoid sunlight at the same time. And like others pointed out this is extremely hard for wagies. And keeping that job is super hard.
Since others pointed out that during the summer you get 5h of no sun and even night jobs will get you into contact with the sun.
Also interacting with humans gets hard since most businesses only operate during the daytime.
>Tokyo Ghoul
>referencing some kind of weeb shit
opinion discarded
>moronic weebshit animu; danks on the entirety of westoids moronic vamp fiction for adults
This shows how moronic this entire vampire genres is.
>membership at a 24/7 gym so you can take a shower first thing before you go
Sounds like a plan.
What are the prices at this gym?
So much for literally no expenses.
You're feeling smug and superior right now, but all you're saying is that you've never had to rough it and life would bend you over if you had whatever your security blanket is taken away.
>You're feeling smug
No I really like to know where these places are since I like urban exploration.
>No I really like to know where these places are since I like urban exploration.
Bad faith, but...
You don't go to the places where people lay low, or try to at least get rest in bad times unless you're in the same situation. They don't need some sperg's headlamp shining in their eyes.
Not because you'll get stabbed, though it'd probably do you good, but just for basic humanity. If you see fresh bottles and cans go play Indiana somewhere else.
Anon I really like urban exploration.
Weird subject to multi-gay out on. You do this in Marvel threads?
>Marvel threads?
HUH?
Marvel? /Co
Thralls
By being chad Stoker vampires who can go out during the day.
Close your curtains, moron. They have thralls for a reason.
Woah stake through the heart would kill me? That's pretty rough
>heh, being a vampire would be awesome, nothing w-
>wait is that… a crossroad? Near water?! and they sprinkled poppy seeds on the ground?!?!
>AHHHHHHHHH, SAVE ME IGOR, I’M GOING INSAAAAAAAAANE
Just drink your own piss and only your own piss and you'll be immortal. Silver bullets and stakes through the heart will kill you though. Regular bullets or stakes though the bladder or face will also kill you.
>and stakes through the heart
I'm already vulnerable to that
Where are the nosferatu kinos about living in the sewers of a big city and feasting on rats?
Only of Tom Cruise from Interview is my Maker and shows me the ways
Cruise Lestat is based.
Would sign-up immediately.
mmmm breasts
>Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a vampire.
Depends on the type of vampire. Like the Buffyverse for example, when a vampire turns you, a demon then inhabits your body while keeping all your memories and personality quirks, but the actual you is dead.
I’m already vulnerable to silver bullets and stakes to the heart.
What are all my powers? Can I compel people to do my bidding and give me shit for free? Then yes, if not? Then no. Former yes because then none of the issues would be an issue. There are no vampires in the real world, so there is no secret sect of society trying to hunt me down, I compel people to give me some blood every now and then, sleep all day, game all night, live my neet life doing whatever I want for absolutely free (as long as I can acquire it in person) for as long as I want until I decide I'm too bored and sudoku.
Sun kills you, silver kills you, garlic kills you, cross shapes kill you, blessed water kills you, not drinking blood all the time kills you....
Why would I want to be a israelite?
Frick yeah and I would start killing tons of people I don't like.
That's sucks, man. Vampires sucks dicks to exist frick them.
Only if it's a vampire powerful enough to take out the world's ~~*elites*~~
How come no one ever brings up that the Lost Boys did the glitter vampire thing first? people only ever bring up Twilight...
Lost Boys vampires glitter? when?
the effects team put a bunch of glitter into the blood so these dudes are covered in glitter after all the vampire slayin'
Lost Boys literally had glitter coursing through their undead veins
oops I'm moron, forgot image
holy shit, guess i have to re-watch in 4k
sign me up if she says yes to been my gf
>infinite goth gf
You'd have to be moronic to say no to this.
Going on a monthly pussy binge blowout
what would happen to a christian vampire?
Depends on the canon you're pulling from. Some it doesn't matter as your soul is gone, so the Christian you is gone.
Others you could still try to be Christian.
Others you'd get mentally fricked up trying mentall resolve the situation and go feral.
No.
& Film
>>
>day going minions.
Peak bullshit.
And the reason why vampire media is bullshit.
Fright Night
>Awchually there is another magic guy that protects the vampire and is even more magical then the vampire is and can go out into the sun and and and.....
Jesus Christ WTF is even that thing?
Vampire media is so stupid it needs to invent more unexplained bullshit.
WTF was that magic guy? And no he is not some indoctrinated human or whatever he like fricken resists gun shots and has bugs inside of him. Movie never explains. (You)
>Talking about the movie fright night does not belong on Cinemaphile
This is your brain on mass reply.