>"Wow Jesus, you sure love carpentry!". >"What can I say?

>"Wow Jesus, you sure love carpentry!"
>"What can I say? It's a passion of the Christ."

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  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    that's when I turned 1080 degrees and walked away

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Why are you twirling like a moron in public, just walk out normally

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >woodwork?

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I should know this, but how did Jesus find out he was the Son of God? Who told him?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He always existed

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Who told him?
      He told himself because he's also his own father and Holy Spirit. What are you, stupid?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        So he was just pretending to be a normie for the first 30 years of his life then it was time for God stuff?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Probably. It's sad we have no videos from that time, he seemed like the type of guy who would wink at the camera often.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            The chronovisor videos are stored in the Vatican.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You do realise theres passages in the bible of when he was a child right?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Doing what? Miracles? I vaguely remember him preaching to adults at the temple.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I don't understand the whole trinity thing

        how can a man be himself and his own son at the same time?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It's like how both of the farmers and the guy in the store are all colloquially Sneed

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It was a psyop to convince pagans to convert
          >YOU SEE, WE PRAY TO MULTIPLE GODS TOO

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Basically like that sneed meme

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          He can't. It's a schizo cope.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          There is only once reason you don't get it. No matter how many of us explain or how much you read.

          You're spiritually dead. This is what Paul meant when he said "You were living in your sins and lawless ways. But in fact you were dead. As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins,."

          A dead person literally cannot understand the things of God. To them it is folly.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You're gonna have a lot of fun when you realize how fricking stupid religion really is. There isn't some delicate, hyper-genius, subtle logic and philosophy that you just haven't understood yet. It's bullshit. It's absolute horse shit all the way down. Even moronic children invent more interesting and logical fairy tales after watching Saturday morning cartoons.
          That you don't understand the fricking "holy trinity" thing is just normal. Because it doesn't make any sense and never did. But they can't admit that because they've doubled and tripled down so hard that giving way on even the most moronic and obviously nonsensical dogma would be an admission that the whole thing was made up and they've wasted their lives.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          It’s like the old world version of arguing about the difference between sex and gender. It’s just semantic nonsense used for purity testing.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          You're not supposed to understand, just to "believe".

          It's a humiliation ritual to get you to abandon all reason and accept whatever they tell you

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >how can a man be...
          It's the Divine Creator of all creation. Not just a man.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          trinities are complicated, but part of our divinity heritage, there are examples of trinities in Greece, Rome, Egypt, India. Usually represented with a father (God, Jupiter, Osiris), a mother (Virgin Mary, Juno, Isis) and a son/daughter (Jesus, Minerva, Horus). In early christianity Virgin Mary was part of the trinity but it got slowly replaced by the Holy Spirit, and even with that there was a lot of discussions about the divinity and mortal body of Jesus in early christianity (for example Arianism which considers Jesus a being created by God as part of him, but not an eternal being). The reasons behind a trinity could be purely aesthetical, in a geometric sense, like so many holy symbols. But concerning christianity could be the representation of the three manifestations of God (don't quote me on that one, probably is blasphemy) God, being a godhead, Jesus a manifestation of God in earth, and the Holy Spirit the word/action of God

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He found out when he was 12 God told him

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Bro, you're me. Crazy, right?

        >hits blunt

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”
      It’s like 10 verses in, surely you can read that much

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      John 1
      1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. 4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not [a]comprehend it.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous
    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Who told him?
      Me. I told him.

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Whole bible is funny when you realize Mary was lying to Joseph after getting impregnated by roman chad

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >*israeli claws typed this*

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        christianity is israeli if you didnt know so was yeashua

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Ok israelite

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Ok israelite

            israelite is your god stupid slave

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Implying that a israelite would ever call a fricking Roman a Chad
        No, I think that anon is an Italian.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      his name? naughtius maximus

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I thought it was Biggus Diccus

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >jesus invented tables
    seriously, Gibson?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      it was stupid, but I supposed he wanted to show the prodigy behind Jesus' craftmanship. It would had been better if we saw a scene of Jesus creating some kind of rocking chair for her mother or something like that

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Strange how he didn't invent cultivating bread mold to produce penicillin. Or calculus.
      We had to wait 1,500 years for Newton to come along and then another five hundred something odd years after that for antibiotics.
      Notice that both of these things were perfectly possible for the technology of the Jesus Christ character's time period.
      And these are just two easy examples from a literally infinite list.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        imagine wasting time inventing penicilin when there were countless souls to eternally save lmao

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Nice dovetail Jesus.

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I AM NOT CRAZY! I am not crazy! I know he broke that commandment! I knew it was "remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy". One after "thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain". As if I could ever make such a mistake. Never. Never! I just – I just couldn't prove it. He – he covered his tracks, he got those fishermen from Galilee to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This sorcery? He's done worse. That paralytic! Are you telling me that a man just happens to take up his mat and walk like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jesus! HE HEALED A MAN ON THE SABBATH! And I remained silent! And I shouldn't have. Pharisees took him into their own homes! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since before Abraham was, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands off of the lepers! But not our Jesus! Couldn't be precious Jesus! Healing the blind! And he gets to be the Messiah!? What a sick joke! I should've stoned him when I had the chance! And you – you have to crucify him! You

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      always kino

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You Cinemaphile homies are funny I’ll give u that much

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    When you are the son of God you just know. No one has to tell you shit.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    There should have been a scene where they lead him out to be crucified and he looks up and goes “this is some shoddy craftsmanship, guys” and builds a much bigger and cooler looking cross to get on and the Romans get all embarrassed

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What I don't get is, if Christ was truly the Son of God and by that metric God Himself, why was he just making regular ass tables. Shouldn't the things he did with wood have been absolutely miraculous?

    Wouldn't Jesus's tables and chairs have been supernatural revelations about form and function that changed the way that we view furniture? I just don't understand why he'd perform on a human level and not a Godly level.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      How do you know if they were or weren't. Point is Jesus/God worked. It goes deeper than just literal carpentry.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        If he did, we'd know about it. We wouldn't be working with the same forms of furniture that we have since the times before Christ. Tables and chairs these days are largely the same as tables and chairs in the Roman empire.

        If God is omnipotent and omniscient, the form of whatever he worked on would exceed anything prior by such a degree as to redefine what that thing is or could be.

        Unless you want to argue that Jesus just wasn't trying his hardest, but then you'd have to justify that since laziness is unGodly.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      homeboy just wanted somewhere to sit down

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Maybe if he was a shoe maker the romans wouldnt have caught him.

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i think its preetty suspicious they never tell us what jesus was up to in his teenage years
    >tell us jesus is a man without sin
    >conveniently skip the ages where your mind is most prone to sin and your willpower not fully developed

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    So did Jesus take big shits? Like just absolute bowl-rippers that stank like frickin crazy? And did he have to wipe his ass? God himself had to scrape feces from his butthole and ass cheeks? And he had to blow his nose and fart and have morning boners and puke and all the other gross and unclean things humans do as a result of our finite, non-Godly biology?

    Isn't that a bit weird?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >So did Jesus take big shits? Like just absolute bowl-rippers that stank like frickin crazy? And did he have to wipe his ass? God himself had to scrape feces from his butthole and ass cheeks? And he had to blow his nose and fart and have morning boners and puke and all the other gross and unclean things humans do as a result of our finite, non-Godly biology?
      yes
      >Isn't that a bit weird?
      he does it because he loves you

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        He not only took big bowl winding shits, he took the biggest and most painful and paperwork intensive shits in history. Anything we could endure, he went through worse, because he is one of those buttholes... for you!

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The first 300 years of Christianity was puritygays coping about this

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      he lived in the Levant, so he probably had quite a balanced diet. Now if he would born in modern America he would constantly struggle to not shart his pants

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What's the point of the side cutouts?
    >removes sides
    >puts in supports so it doesn't cave in
    >puts in additional supports so the first supports don't get pushed aside
    is it an allegory for dogmatic problems?

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    basically we live in a sim and Jesus got admin powers / was an admin.

    ask any blizzard dev

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      that's why Jesus didn't need a father, his birth was coded by admin, so he would be as a vessel for the real world human admin

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What's with leftists and coprophilia?

  17. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What is the kingdom of heaven’s tax policy?

  18. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    imagine rejecting Christ to protect your own ego. its okay to not understand this stuff right away, it takes time, and Christianity has a really high iq floor

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      t. Pharisee

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