wtf were you guys complaining about?
mario is badass in this movie
5 min in and
>parkouring like a boss
>can fix anything
>stands up for himself and his brother
>isn't afraid of taking chances by following his dream
sure he doesn't know his way about the mushroom kingdom at first but why should he? I'm guessing that by the end he's chad of the other universe as well
going to finish this now
 |
 Nothing Ever Happens Shirt $21.68 |
|
Ok. Check back in after 1 hour and 30 minutes and tell us what you thought.
>beats THE best fighter of another kingdom in his first try
i bet most of Cinemaphile users haven't even watched this movie
He gets OP hax powerups while that "best fighter" is explicitly NOT using powerups though.
If DK had a powerup (As he's able to use them perfectly fine) he'd have kicked mario's ass.
DK lost because he was fricking around and cranky made sure to give convenient "use this to win" objects in the area.
>If DK had a powerup (As he's able to use them perfectly fine
why didn't he then? his choice
he was the one being wienery and saying ¨I don't need any¨ (which fits his character btw)
See
>DK lost because he was fricking around
part of my post.
>hey bro did you see Football Team A beat the shit out of Football Team B
>doesn't count bro, Team B was fricking around
>but they won the match
>doesn't count
>but Team B oficially lost
>doesn't count
are you moronic anon?
No, it's more like:
>hey bro did you see how much faster the tortoise was than the hare?
>doesn't count bro, the hare was fricking around
>but the tortoise won the race
>only because the hare took a 2 hour nap instead of finishing the race
>but the hare officially lost
>losing the race doesn't change the fact that he's still faster than the tortoise
are YOU moronic, anon?
Mario didn't win because he's a superior fighter to DK, he won because DK was being a wienery little shit.
>how much faster the tortoise was than the hare?
NTA but, no one is saying Mario is STRONGER than DK, or faster, or anything of that sort. They're saying he WON the fight. The tortoise won the race, he won because the hare fricked around, Mario won for the same reason. Mario took a serous beating but stayed determined to win, DK got slapped around and took a few good hits then fainted because of his own hubris.
He's specifically saying here Mario beats DK in this fight, that is what happened. His post makes no effort to claim Mario is stronger or better than DK, but that DK simply lost because that's plain and simple what happened.
This is an accurate analogy. DK blew it on that fight, and lost as a result, but him admitting he was fricking around doesn't invalidate his loss. Now if they had a rematch, he'd almost certainly win, but that's irrelevant.
>no one is saying Mario is STRONGER than DK, or faster, or anything of that sort
I think you must not actually understand the connotation presented by:
>beats THE best fighter of another kingdom in his first try
Again, it would be like saying the tortoise
>beats THE fastest runner in the forest on his first try
There's a certain implication here that you're ignoring but other people are taking issue with. The problem is that Mario only wins not only because he gets power-ups, but because DK actively avoids them ON TOP OF not taking the fight seriously in any way. Mario's win is made into a punchline; he doesn't win because he's competent, he wins DESPITE his own incompetence.
>If you beat Mario using power-ups, you didn't actually beat the game!!!
Lol
I think a lot of the hate for "girlboss Peach stealing Mario's spotlight" came from the marketing before we actually saw the movie. It made it look like it might be worse.
>bet most of Cinemaphile users haven't even watched this movie
True, it's an illumination film so I'm not bothering with it. That said, I haven't used any mario thread either so I don't think it counts.
Not him but
>Beat the champion of a kingdom
>Handles an army of Koopas
>Saved everyone from a nuke
>Took a ridiculous beating from Bowser, who wrecks the kingdom champion, and still manages to save the day
The point was that Mario refused to quit. He kept pushing on when no one else, including Peach, would.
Cinemaphile lies a lot.
Really. I thought it was just Cinemaphile.
There's tons of Cinemaphileermin too, but there's also some considerable overlap with those homosexuals and Cinemaphile.
Nah, Shazamposters come here too. It's REALLY obvious.
Nearly Every board on Cinemaphile is moronic and full of culture war shit. Just more evidence containment boards never work
What is it about Nintendo that have people bending over backwards for their shit.
They're the Disney of the vidya world.
Seethe harder snoygger, TOTK is GOTY and there's nothing you can do about it.
Schizo.
Cinemaphile is still full of culture war hate and think that any woman who demonstrates any competence at all is a "girl boss" and that the content is now "woke", so they have to hate it because those are the things their enemies like.
I liked the movie, but it could have easily been at least 20 minutes longer and been better for it.
Support Transwomen athletes. Name and shame TERFs wherever you find them. If a woman says a man hit her or beat her up, tell her to fight back.
So OP what did you think?
it was fricking awesome
it gets barely passable by around 3/4 but in the end it fixes it with an amazing ending
plus the Mario Bros end up living in the mushroom kingdom
literally the best videogame movie
>but in the end it fixes
no
Doesnt change the fact that Peach is boring.
Dude, that's every incarnation of Peach.
at least game Peach does fun stuff like fight with a parasol or bake and has a funny cartoon voice/body language.
Movie b***h has literally nothing. Instead of adding depth they only stripped away what little there was.
Who cares what you think? You're literally a ladybug.
what does that mean?
Movie Peach > Game Peach.
We weren't. There is a discord group that comes here and Cinemaphile to shit on anything even remotely popular and start console/company wars. This is literally all they do with their time.
But anon a woman did something other than simper and get captured, that means we must boycott it for men's rights!
Btw remember to watch the new D*sney shows all about strong empowered women shitting on goofy hapless men, it's okay when Mickey does it!
Why does pic related have 8-bit indie game as a tattoo?
Because liking indie retro games was a "sign" that you were an evil leftist back in, like, 2010.
Tendies are part of the problem.
Frick off you stupid shill
Culture War homosexuals don't actually engage in the media they claim is destroying everything. There are idiots on Cinemaphile right now who genuinely believe that Zelda has sex with a goat-man because they won't play the extra two hours to find out that the goat-man's wife is another Hylian woman.
I'm honestly wondering if they'll use K.Rool in the next movie as one of the villains since they leaned so heavily into using DK in this one.
No, they'll save him for the DKC spinoff. The next villain will likely be Bowser Jr. or Wario. I'm leaning more towards Bowser Jr. since they didn't do a post-credits tease for Wario, and the games rarely have a non-Bowser villain, so they could do that by having Jr. rescue his father to make him the villain again.
K. Rool's future is very much in question despite being a part of Smash. Nintendo seems adamant about leaving as many of Rare's concepts for DK in the past as they think they can get away with, and some of Smash's most iconic fighters are just the headstones of dead franchises; the character select screen is practically a mausoleum. The Universal DK theme park is also 100% based on Returns, just as the upcoming Lego sets are (minus Dixie's guitar being blue like in DKC2). The only thing that can save K. Rool is a new Donkey Kong game, which has chronically and vehemently refused to materialize Direct after Direct, year after year. Miyamoto and Tanabe, the producer of Retro's duology, even made an active, concentrated effort to keep the Kremlings out of the reboot, and it's unlikely K. Rool making it into Smash will be enough to change their notoriously stubborn minds.
All that said, we live in a world where Swanky Kong and Chunky Kong are in a major motion picture that made over a billion dollars, though I suspect Miyamoto either isn't affronted by old Kong cameos, or simply was not told these background characters were from the Rare games. The fact that he went out of his way to gloat about giving DK his original face back from the arcade games is also a cause for concern. These are uncertain times to be a DKC fan, where the big ape has toys, a movie, and even his own goddamned theme park, but seemingly somehow can't have a fffffricking *GAME*
woke shit movie
>a woman not being a walking sandwich and baby vending machine?!??!!??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
for a fricking mario bros movie? yea, shes supposed to be that
shes not always sedentary and is proficient at magic and can hold her own, but they butchered her personality by turning it into that of a dyke and they made her act like one on top of that, rather than a traditional loving motherly princess
bla bla shes a dyke not a lady, peach should be a lady
Black person
gotta say Black person, i love saying Black person
>shes not always sedentary and is proficient at magic and can hold her own, but they butchered her personality by turning it into that of a dyke and they made her act like one on top of that, rather than a traditional loving motherly princess
and obviously, for a fricking super mario bros movie she should be a damsel in distress
Black person
but women cant be damsels in distress because that means that men have to use their toxic masculinity to save a woman and it objectifies women because its treating them like a prize to be won rather than a strong powerful independent woman who dont need no man and doesnt make sandwiches
>gotta say Black person, i love saying Black person
Congratulations on turning thirteen, now get lost, this website is for ages eighteen and up.
>Namegay
>No one calling them a homosexual
TrulyCinemaphile has fallen
username checks out
There's a middle ground between "barefoot & pregnant" and "obnoxious pseudo-masculine b***h stealing the limelight from the titular character and demeaning him for no justifiable reason at every possible moment." Why do people not understand this? Do you think so little of women that you can't even imagine a movie in which a woman is competent, likeable, and feminine? A movie in which the female lead DOESN'T have to tear down, demean, and upstage the male lead at every possible turn and actually earns respect for positive reasons?
>"obnoxious pseudo-masculine b***h stealing the limelight
So you didn't watch the movie. Spoiler, peach doe not steal the limelight.
I did watch the movie, you're just taking issue with my choice of words. Curious how you didn't try to disagree with any other part of what I said, just focusing in on one bit of semantics you can pick apart to distract from the fact that I'm right.
touch grass, homosexual
Cinemaphile hates anything popular. they hate when something they want to like gets popular because that means it can't be a niche anymore.
>HOW DARE PEACH NOT BEND OVER AND TAKE MARIO'S MEAT IN HER BAGHOLE
no Cinemaphile has grown up and stopped giving a shit
On please, it started with guy, and we did nothing, now there's two of them, and soon every attention addled 15 year old from /misc/ will be here gayging up the threads.
That image is full of lies and bullshit.
One thing I disliked was how pointless/useless luigi was in the movie.
he basically existed to get captured and be the butt of jokes, and then get 10 seconds of action with mario at the end.
I was hoping to see him with the poltergust or something dealing with boos to give hims some purpose. He honestly might as well not even exist for the next movie, he doesn't seem to serve a character purpose in the group.
(Doubly so since Daisy's personality was given to peach, so Luigi's girlfriend would be redundant if she showed up as well)
>One thing I disliked was how pointless/useless luigi was in the movie.
you clearly haven't played the games, he's useless there as well outside of the Mansion series
i just think it's not very good
mid movie
Like all Illumidnation movies.
ruined peach
made her generic c**t instead of royalty
The individual sequences are exciting but the movie moves so fricking fast there's no time for any character development
Like you couldn't slow down for five minutes so Mario and Peach can get to know each other before she just decides he's going to save the world?
He's a fussy baby.
on paper everything is fine.
but there's an attitude problem. Probably from the director on how they treat women, making them flawless which devalues their male counterparts.
Peach has always been a badass character. like back in the Nintendo power comics.
In this movie she's no match to Bowser. but she doesn't act like or they show us that she cannot beat his turtle ass. Meanwhile Mario did have his accomplishments but they never showed any attention to it.
I can fix this issue with two dialogue scenes.
1- During the DK duel. He gets angry on why mario never gives up. Mario explains that he cannot leave his brother. DK respects that then loses on purpose.
2- Peach loses hope before her wedding. Toad reminds her not to give up cause that what Mario would do. That's when she decided to get that ice flower.
These gives some acknowledgment to his Accomplishment and personality.
Also it wouldn't help if Peach falls into some Slapstick situation. I mean like how they landed from the first Kart in the Kong Palace. Mario falls on his face while peach just lands normally.
these little things adds up.
>Weak Men Create Hard Times.
Where were you when Children Movies moved from imaginative and lighthearted tales to glorified advertisements made to turn your kid into Huxleyan brand slaves with an inability to critically think?
Today will cement a turning point. One in cinema's history where video game movies de-evolve into soulless 90 minute commericals for videogames. Characters, plots, themes and symbolism all come second to nostalgia, obnoxious references and distractingly bright colors.
They made their endgame clear: Infantilizing to masses until they have a pavilionian response of wanting to buy video games each time a reference gets shoved in your face through the theater screen.
Any shouting over the "wokeness" or "non-wokeness" of this movie was merely a distraction of the real game plan. Cinemaphile brought. Imdb bought it. Letterboxd bought it. Your children bought it. Your Nostalgia-addicted Millennial friends bought it. We failed together.
Welcome to the dark timeline. Enjoy your stay.
Having just finished the movie I really hope the people that were b***hing about Peach being a girlboss were trolling because holy shit it was fricking nothing.
As for the movie, the licensed songs were garbage and Luigi/mario needed a bit longer together at the start but otherwise it was solid. Understand why critics rated it poorly and fans loved it.
Reminder she saved the movie
Seth Rogan? Seth Rogan? They whitewashed a king,