I always wondered how Azrael could have fathered Kurt or any of his other kids if he was stuck in hell, and supposed to be conceiving them as a means of opening a portal to Earth
Most of us agree that Chuck probably didn't think these details through. Much like his disintegrating communion wafers despite Catholics not believing in the Rapture.
He could leave for short amount of times before he'd be pulled back. The kids were there to create a gateway that would be strong enough to allow him to permanently leave. It's like a reverse of how Kurt teleports: he's only temporarily going into Brimstone Dimension whereas Azazel could only temporarily come into the main dimension.
No Azzie being a quick shot kinda makes sense honestly. There is that time he gave Storm to his crew to be a rape doll and he wasn't first up at the ride. If he's a one pump chump then it kinda explains it, his whole deal requires presenting himself as much of a turbochad as his bullshit powers suggest he should be and getting emasculated would undermine that. So you might be onto something here anon.
>Azazel just isn't attracted to blacks and anon is overthinking it
6 months ago
Anonymous
>implying Azrael has fricking standards.
The man has multiple plotpoints about how much of a zero-quality control manprostitute he is c'mon. He almost literally fricked demon maggots at one point.
6 months ago
Anonymous
Yeah, but what color were those maggotts? I rest my case.
He literally explain how he escaped the first time thanks to Margali Szardos, of course it was temporary but he made sure to frick a lot of girls back them... and literally most of his childs looks like Nightcrawler and are teleporters, this retcon is stupid and made to please lgbt
Azrael actually got kicked out of every hell awhile back because he was that much of a problem for most of them, and seems to be able to temporarily pop into reality or earth or be summoned from his ghetto pseudo-Hell for a short while.
Mystique used Azazel's DNA as part of her blueprints to rewrite her own and grow a wiener. Irene tricked Mystique into conceiving Kurt to use him as a red herring for distracting Azazel in the future. Mystique didn't toss Kurt off a bridge, but Irene never intended to raise him anyways and set up everything so Mystique would lose him immediately and Kurt would get set on the path of a hero. Mystique never forgave Irene for that, so after adopting Rogue they went and had Xavier tamper with their memories into the Austin version of Kurt's birth.
Destiny and Mystique are both pieces of shit.
>Mystique used Azazel's DNA as part of her blueprints to rewrite her own and grow a wiener.
But like... Wouldn't she be able to have a wiener regardless of DNA?
Jesus Christ those two are fricking awful for each other and their relationship is toxic as frick, why the hell are they so dead set to celebrate it there has to be a lot more nicer lesbian right
They're doing a shit job of it, Destiny hasn't been able to stop anything bad from happening and just got shanked by Mother Righteous. She really is the precog that caused the Days of Future Past timeline.
X-MEN, YOU LOVE EM
YOU HATE EM
YOU LOVE TO HATE EM
THIS SHIT IS LIKE STRAIGHT OUT OF BRAZILIAN SOAP OPERA >my father is a lesbian
this shit writes itself
You know maybe when you have to do all this shit to make an old idea that got shot down in the first place work, it might be a sign to not do it. The x-men just keep getting clusterfricked with this shit.
>they went and had Xavier tamper with their memories into the Austin version of Kurt's birth.
Why would Xavier agree to that? How did that benefit him?
I want to remind you, that Xavier and Mystique have a son from alternate future. Yeah, someone should call child services for x-men. It seems like ennis wasn't exaggerating when he made fun of x-men in the boys
The Austen retcon was incredibly stupid. Why would anyone want to go back to that?
6 months ago
Anonymous
It's still better than this, anon. It's still better than this.
We all need a little more Azazel and a lot less Mystique/Destiny right now.
6 months ago
Anonymous
Haven't read the issue, so I can't agree yet. Austen was one of the worst writers on X-Men. The vast majority of his ideas were stupid, including the idea that a demon-creature who needed someone of his bloodline to come to Earth was able to have sex with a woman on Earth.
6 months ago
Anonymous
Azazel was/is a shit character that was barely used. The movies did him a better justice than the comics
6 months ago
Anonymous
And I repeat, this is still worse. This is still more stupid. And the modern X-Men writers keep making Austen look like an actual writer in comparison.
Azazel was/is a shit character that was barely used. The movies did him a better justice than the comics
>Azazel was/is a shit character
And the other characters we're talking about in this thread aren't? Even if they once weren't, they all are by now.
6 months ago
Anonymous
Spurrier is a significantly better writer than Austen.
6 months ago
Anonymous
And yet here's this issue.
6 months ago
Anonymous
To be honest, Spurrier likes to shit his bed, just like he did with The Shadow
6 months ago
Anonymous
still better than austen's run you moron. you never read it so you dont know but it was bad, it made bendis run look like shakespeare
6 months ago
Anonymous
It isn't even out yet. But his original X-Men Legacy run, X-Force, Way of X, Legion of X, Nightcrawlers, and Uncanny Spider-Man have all been solid so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
6 months ago
Anonymous
I think it was marvel's mandate, not his own, original idea.
still better than austen's run you moron. you never read it so you dont know but it was bad, it made bendis run look like shakespeare
anything is better than bendis, including my poop
6 months ago
Anonymous
>And the modern X-Men writers keep making Austen look like an actual writer in comparison.
Spoken like a moron who hasn't actually endured his work
6 months ago
Anonymous
still better than austen's run you moron. you never read it so you dont know but it was bad, it made bendis run look like shakespeare
I was there. Bad as he was, he wasn't even the worst X-Men writer of the time and he certainly isn't the worst after Benis and Krakoa.
It isn't even out yet. But his original X-Men Legacy run, X-Force, Way of X, Legion of X, Nightcrawlers, and Uncanny Spider-Man have all been solid so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
Anon, this story is moronic on a conceptual level, it's in contention for the most moronic thing Marvel have ever done, especially considering the sheer amount of retconning and convolution required.
6 months ago
Anonymous
They're just stacking more shit on the Austin retcon to make it more complicated. Count Wagner and Azazel are still part of this.
6 months ago
Anonymous
Austen is a better writer than the majority of X-Men writers since.
>even bigger holy shit.jpg
with that said, that speaks a lot about mystique
6 months ago
Anonymous
Mystique has always been Top Mom. She uses love as a way to manipulate Rogue, has tried to kill Nightcrawler on multiple occasions despite knowing she's his mother, and threw Graydon in the trash as soon as he was born.
6 months ago
Anonymous
she also assassinated Graydon, we mustn't forget that. Sabretooth for all his flaws (like raping dead corpses), is a better parent than Mystique, holy shit
>Dare I say the perfect X-Men origin.
exactly. I would add some more shenanigans to make it even more convoluted. this is ripe for bloating an otherwise simple origin
According to Mystique she used the DNA of Azazel, Christian Wagner, and a bunch of other dudes at Destiny's request. So Kurt technically has a bunch of dads and two moms.
What the frick is this stupid retcon. Mystique is physically incapable of being a shithead... imagine retconning out her yeeting Kurt. And they've always been evil so why would Xavier rewrite their memories...
>The only thing I'm complainig about is how Peter and Kurt will never effiel tower any sexy bad girls together.
You mean Silver Sable and it's the least he could do, most times when one of Pete's friends bangs one of his frick buddies they just like to rub it in his face
>The only thing I'm complainig about is how Peter and Kurt will never effiel tower any sexy bad girls together.
You mean Silver Sable and it's the least he could do, most times when one of Pete's friends bangs one of his frick buddies they just like to rub it in his face
Because Nightcrawler dressing up like Spider-Man is very clearly a temporary status quo both in and out of universe, and Kurt is different enough both as a character and in his design here, as well as in terms of the mini's story, that he's not stepping on the actual Spider-Man's toes.
it's not anti-storm fans, it's people acknowledging that ewing is a shitty writer and a coward. ewing has no integrity, has no writing skill, his only positive trait is that he uses forgotten lore, but he misuses it anyway. frick ewing
It was funny when that Wizard 100 storytimer did the X-men vs Dracula and the issue ends with Storm winning from force of will, it’s always been this! She beat Cyke with no powers!
6 months ago
Anonymous
>She beat Cyke with no powers!
She stole his visor and forced him to choose between conceding the fight or risking killing her. People talk about it like she put him down for the knockout or something.
6 months ago
Anonymous
It was also retconned so that Madelyne was unknowingly using her powers to make him lose because she wanted him to lose.
Austen is a better writer than the majority of X-Men writers since.
Hello Chuck.
6 months ago
Anonymous
Chuck Austen is better than any black, female or lgbt or any writer that is a supporter of those three demographics who was worked on the X-Men in the past 20 years
6 months ago
Anonymous
Chuck Austen hated Christianity so much that he wrote a hilariously inaccurate take on Catholicism (a plot involving exploding communion wafers and Catholics believing in the rapture)
6 months ago
Anonymous
...and it's still better than this.
6 months ago
Anonymous
No it wasn't.
6 months ago
Anonymous
At worst you can laugh at it and it didn't really do any lasting harm to anything. You can't say the same about this.
6 months ago
Anonymous
Azazel was a shit retcon. He also really wanted to make Magneto the father of Nurse Annie's son, but Marvel wouldn't let him, so it was left a dangling mystery.
6 months ago
Anonymous
>make Magneto the father of Nurse Annie's son
Man, Magneto really loves his flatscan women.
6 months ago
Anonymous
>Azazel was a shit retcon.
But a funny one. And it's still better than Mystique and Destiny being Nightcrawler's parents.
>He also really wanted to make Magneto the father of Nurse Annie's son, but Marvel wouldn't let him, so it was left a dangling mystery.
With the benefit of hindsight, this would have worked out better than every other time Magneto was revealed a someone's dad, as that kid had no character to ruin.
No, Morrison being a drug addicted troony was
Considering that the same time period had the sheer amount of damage Morrison did to X-Men, and a long past his prime Claremont on another book, and some of the worst work of Joe Casey's career, it's baffling that Austen took the brunt of the hate for stories that were mostly inconsequential in comparison with the others. At least his book was a good time when it was a Juggernaut issue or when that manga artist was on it.
6 months ago
Anonymous
>But a funny one. And it's still better than Mystique and Destiny being Nightcrawler's parents.
But apparently he's still his father
6 months ago
Anonymous
no, it was terrible. austen was a premonition of the writers to come
6 months ago
Anonymous
No, Morrison being a drug addicted troony was
6 months ago
Anonymous
,,,,
cant argue with that
6 months ago
Anonymous
Catholics aren't Christian
6 months ago
Anonymous
Fedora tipping Chuck didn't care, he didn't even know what they specifically believe in. He inherited a lousy plot from Joe Casey and wrote it out in an even worse way.
6 months ago
Anonymous
More Christian than whatever heretical bullshit evangelist grifter you think is Christian.
6 months ago
Anonymous
they are the only real christians unlike your protestant heretical ass
lol seething go listen to your little latino maybe he'll kiss too because you act like a baby
6 months ago
Anonymous
they are the only real christians unlike your protestant heretical ass
6 months ago
Anonymous
I mean IIRC the fact that it's wrong was deliberate, most Christians barely know dick about their own denomination, Christianity among the masses is historically hugely just riffing on folklore and uncomprehending bible quotes. You really expect them to know the fine details of the inner workings of a denomination almost none of them would actually be?
6 months ago
Anonymous
>I mean IIRC the fact that it's wrong was deliberate,
No it wasn't, and you didn't read the story. The "rapture being real" thing was a plot the villain set up, who was a seething raped nun who wanted to discredit the church. People involved in the church know their own dogma.
It was funny when that Wizard 100 storytimer did the X-men vs Dracula and the issue ends with Storm winning from force of will, it’s always been this! She beat Cyke with no powers!
Storm gets wanked in modern X-comics because she's an ebin black queen Omega-level mutant goddess Martian empress and writers keep rushing to give her more and more feats.
Storm got wanked in Claremont's X-comics because he was literally wanking over her.
They are not the same.
6 months ago
Anonymous
seriously, people should learn the difference
[...]
I was there. Bad as he was, he wasn't even the worst X-Men writer of the time and he certainly isn't the worst after Benis and Krakoa.
[...]
Anon, this story is moronic on a conceptual level, it's in contention for the most moronic thing Marvel have ever done, especially considering the sheer amount of retconning and convolution required.
>it's in contention for the most moronic thing Marvel have ever done
that's even a better reason to do it. you either go full moronic in comics, or you don't enter at all
Nightcrawler's like the Marvel equivalent of Nightwing in having a fanbase that have him as their husbando, a fanbase full of gays and women. But worse than Nightwing because they're borderline furries.
Storm, 'Rightclops', Magneto and Emma have worse fanbases though. People who want to bone Nightcrawler may be annoying, but they're nowhere near the same level of crazy.
I hate Nightcrawler and Nightwing fans so much. Storm and Emma need to be killed off forever. I hate fans of all these characters there's just no chill at all with these overly online autistic lgbts. Never do any of my favorite characters get autism armies screeching about them. It's always people saying "I wish so and so character that anon likes maybe gets a little spotlight in any comic that is in line with previous characterization and has compelling story" while every fan of Nightwing/Nightcrawler/Emma/Storm needs that character to be the star of every show and to be right every time and to never face any consequences or challenges. Just praise and promotion.
Several different Skrulls impersonated Hank Pym on the road to Secret Invasion. The female one that first replaced him isn't the final one, who got Tigra pregnant. There was a whole issue about how the earlier ones kept losing faith in the Skrull plan, going rogue and being dealt with by the other Skrulls.
Why stop there, she could literally shapeshift herself to have multiple uterus', and end up carrying multiple children without having to hope for twins or triplets.
Oh, ironically, I thought it involved Mystique but rather the idea that she's a Kree/Skrull hybrid that was talked about a few years ago, not the thing that should be more obvious because he actually said it.
Still, what does that make of Azazel and why would he look like Nightcrawler if they aren't actually related? Not to mention how does the whole plot with Christian Wagner make any sense if Mystique didn't actually give birth to him?
Is it all a mislead and the baby she made with Destiny is just someone else and yet another example of Mystique breeding anything that moves? I mean the b***h has already bred with five people already, retconning Destiny as the mother of any of them literally doesn't change that fact.
Why don't she also grow a dick and balls for Carol too?
>Remember that cute boy who you let get to second base under the bleachers back in high school? >Remember that lesbian applicant who you gave orientation to and then experimented with back in college? >Remember that erotic "dream" where you were dommed by yourself dressed like a high-ranking imperial officer from Star Wars? >Remember Marcus? >Remember that dog that humped your leg that one time?
>IT WAS ME, CAROL!
That explains everything, holy shit. Mystique the impregnator
I want to remind you, that Xavier and Mystique have a son from alternate future. Yeah, someone should call child services for x-men. It seems like ennis wasn't exaggerating when he made fun of x-men in the boys
Mystique is the father of Jessica Drew's baby
Mystique is the father of Mary Jane's babies
Mystique is the father of Gwen Stacy's babies
Mystique is the father of Wanfa Maximoffs babies
Mystique is the father of Crystal's baby
Mystique is the father of Carol Danver's future babies
Mystique is the father of Aunt May's baby
Mystique is the father of EVERYONE'S BABIES, ALL OF THEM!!! EVERY SINGLE ONE!!!
>Remember that cute boy who you let get to second base under the bleachers back in high school? >Remember that lesbian applicant who you gave orientation to and then experimented with back in college? >Remember that erotic "dream" where you were dommed by yourself dressed like a high-ranking imperial officer from Star Wars? >Remember Marcus? >Remember that dog that humped your leg that one time?
A REMINDER THAT IN MARVEL COMIC PRESENTS DESTINY CALLED NIGHTCRAWLER HIS SON IN A STORY WRITTEN BY CLAREMONT
JESUS FRICKING CHRIST, IT'S A FICTIONAL CHARACTER, AND YET, SOME PEOPLE ARE SO PETTY THAT THEY CAN'T LET IT GO AND REALLY HAD TO MAKE HIM THE CHILD OF TWO LESBIANS FFS
X-MEN, YOU LOVE EM
YOU HATE EM
YOU LOVE TO HATE EM
THIS SHIT IS LIKE STRAIGHT OUT OF BRAZILIAN SOAP OPERA >my father is a lesbian
this shit writes itself
I'm not a troony though. Frick mystique, she's the worst mother/father anyone can have. Rogue did the right thing by cutting her ties with her. And frick destiny, she shoulda stayed dead
A reminder that Mystique was actually born as a man, but she choses a female version of herself, because she like it, and it's canon. So yeah, Mystique is a troony
>now
Remender had Psylocke fricking a female Fantomex ffs. Can we stop pretending that sexuality in x-men is not gender-fluid? Cyclops has hots for Wolverine, and so does Wolverien for Cyclops
Shape-shifting give her the ability to produce sperm, huh? Suddely rearranging your reproductive organs has to put stress on your body. That's what they have to address, here.
what you say is a normal, sensible reaction. What I imply is that marvel is too dumb to be aware of that. Giving birth is a very serious matter, not that I know it, I'm a guy of course
>oh ffs you didn't have to delete that
meant for [...]
being a mother is a serious stress (but I'm a guy, so I don't know what it means to be a mother of course)
Wait, who's giving birth here? I thought this was about Mystique turning into a guy and banging that other chick to make Nightcrawler. I'm confused.
Reading this thread didnt make me want mutant genocide since I always wanted that. It just made me see it as something more natural and justified then before. Where is Nimrod when you need him.
In all fairness, the ability to impregnate and get impregnated by anyone and impregnate anyone is evolutionary advantage, right? Like seriously that might be the most awesome superpower ever. I might be seriously drunk here, spellcheck don't register the "S" in superpower as an error here, despite it looking like some kind of foreign variation here.
What no? Gonochoric reproduction is superior to hermaphrodite reproduction. Herms likely came first but have been mostly out competed by the superior gonochorics.
To be fair, that has more to do with the increased length of time needed to reach sexual maturity for hermaphrodites than anything else. Assuming that's not a factor here, then hermaphroditism would be overwhelmingly superior.
>Kurt was going to be the son of Mystique and Destiny >well no that's stupid and also the CCA and people of the time will never go for it >so he's the son of Mystique and a German count >actually now he's the son of a mutant who looks like a demon and is trapped in a hell dimension who's the origin of mutant teleporters as part of a plan to permanently free himself >wait, no, actually we're going to canonize the original intended origin even though it's still stupid and now makes no fricking sense since you have to go through like four layers of retcons for it
I would sooner believe that there is a cosmic being more powerful than TOAA and that he created the multiverse to defend himself from it, than THAT bullshit.
Spurrier's only claim to fame is writing a Constantine that wasn't as fricking terrible as Tynion/Taylor and having dope Del Mundo covers for a whole X-run. Bisexual British hack.
No, his only claim to fame is the Legion version of X-Men Legacy. It's the only good story he's ever written so he has to keep going back to it. Fully expect him to do more Davidwank some time soon.
What I hate about this is that if Mystique can really go to extremes to alter her chromosomes to grew testes to produce sperm then why she cannot duplicate other mutant powers by manipulating her x-genes as well? Feels like it should be around the possibilities of what she can do.
Well...why doesn't he?
I mean the real explanation is that Marvel is doing the Cinemaphile equivalent to fetching for (You)s and storytelling be damned. Watching muties die because Nimrod elbow drop on Juggernaut from outer space was the only joy the x-men have brought to me in well over 13 years. I mean I am not buying shit but I had a good laugh, especially when I thought Xavier accidentally coerced mutants into walking into the blender dimension but it was revealed the portals only sent them off to mars or something.
>Watching muties die because Nimrod elbow drop on Juggernaut from outer space
Wait hold up when did I miss this.
Please tell me that's real. Please please please.
Oh I was hoping it would be the Wolverine one.
Dang, would have taken that. Also would have taken his original, original proposed Nightcrawler origin of being Nightmare's kid.
Oh well. Lesbian butt baby it is.
No, Mystique grew a dick.
Considering that mystique fricked Iceman, and Iceman is gay.... it begs more questions
To add insult to injury, Nightmare can still be a so-called father of Nightcrawler, he might serve as an inspiration for Mystique
You are aware mistique can turn into a dude right?
my gf sent me a link about this today. Pretty wild, I wonder how Kurt looks fricking exactly like Azazel but blue if he's Irene and Mystique's baby
I always wondered how Azrael could have fathered Kurt or any of his other kids if he was stuck in hell, and supposed to be conceiving them as a means of opening a portal to Earth
Most of us agree that Chuck probably didn't think these details through. Much like his disintegrating communion wafers despite Catholics not believing in the Rapture.
He could leave for short amount of times before he'd be pulled back. The kids were there to create a gateway that would be strong enough to allow him to permanently leave. It's like a reverse of how Kurt teleports: he's only temporarily going into Brimstone Dimension whereas Azazel could only temporarily come into the main dimension.
thing is, Mystique being the father of Kurt makes sense. Nobody is able to cum that quickly, this was the thing that rubbed me in a wrong way
No Azzie being a quick shot kinda makes sense honestly. There is that time he gave Storm to his crew to be a rape doll and he wasn't first up at the ride. If he's a one pump chump then it kinda explains it, his whole deal requires presenting himself as much of a turbochad as his bullshit powers suggest he should be and getting emasculated would undermine that. So you might be onto something here anon.
>Azazel just isn't attracted to blacks and anon is overthinking it
>implying Azrael has fricking standards.
The man has multiple plotpoints about how much of a zero-quality control manprostitute he is c'mon. He almost literally fricked demon maggots at one point.
Yeah, but what color were those maggotts? I rest my case.
He literally explain how he escaped the first time thanks to Margali Szardos, of course it was temporary but he made sure to frick a lot of girls back them... and literally most of his childs looks like Nightcrawler and are teleporters, this retcon is stupid and made to please lgbt
Azrael actually got kicked out of every hell awhile back because he was that much of a problem for most of them, and seems to be able to temporarily pop into reality or earth or be summoned from his ghetto pseudo-Hell for a short while.
Mystique used Azazel's DNA as part of her blueprints to rewrite her own and grow a wiener.
Irene tricked Mystique into conceiving Kurt to use him as a red herring for distracting Azazel in the future.
Mystique didn't toss Kurt off a bridge, but Irene never intended to raise him anyways and set up everything so Mystique would lose him immediately and Kurt would get set on the path of a hero.
Mystique never forgave Irene for that, so after adopting Rogue they went and had Xavier tamper with their memories into the Austin version of Kurt's birth.
Destiny and Mystique are both pieces of shit.
God, this shit's moronic.
Well yeah but at least futa Mystique is canon now
You know. If you have to jump through so many hoops just to retcon something literal DECADES later, it's probably a sign you should just move on
But anon, they gotta make the terrorist/murderer/child abusers into a legit lesbian power couple!
And a rapist dont forget that part
>Mystique used Azazel's DNA as part of her blueprints to rewrite her own and grow a wiener.
But like... Wouldn't she be able to have a wiener regardless of DNA?
From the dialogue it sounds like she didn't want to, but Destiny talked her into using the genetic traits of multiple men, including Azazel.
I hate marvel because they don't have balls to go full nelson.
Poor Kurt, no wonder he's christian
What a lame excuse to have futa in your fricking comic. Who is buying this trite?
She can change the form of her somatic cells, but doing it for sex cells is a bit harder.
Jesus Christ those two are fricking awful for each other and their relationship is toxic as frick, why the hell are they so dead set to celebrate it there has to be a lot more nicer lesbian right
They weren't like this originally. But they want Destiny to be this spooky keikaku master or something so now we get this.
They're doing a shit job of it, Destiny hasn't been able to stop anything bad from happening and just got shanked by Mother Righteous. She really is the precog that caused the Days of Future Past timeline.
X-MEN, YOU LOVE EM
YOU HATE EM
YOU LOVE TO HATE EM
THIS SHIT IS LIKE STRAIGHT OUT OF BRAZILIAN SOAP OPERA
>my father is a lesbian
this shit writes itself
You know maybe when you have to do all this shit to make an old idea that got shot down in the first place work, it might be a sign to not do it. The x-men just keep getting clusterfricked with this shit.
>they went and had Xavier tamper with their memories into the Austin version of Kurt's birth.
Why would Xavier agree to that? How did that benefit him?
I want to remind you, that Xavier and Mystique have a son from alternate future. Yeah, someone should call child services for x-men. It seems like ennis wasn't exaggerating when he made fun of x-men in the boys
Aw man, Bendis happened
It was before they were terrorists, so I guess he was just being nice and helping them smooth over their shitty relationship.
They've been criminals and terrorists since before he was born.
If we're lucky one day this will all just be dismissed as yet another lie Mystique told and we can go back to the Austen origin.
The Austen retcon was incredibly stupid. Why would anyone want to go back to that?
It's still better than this, anon. It's still better than this.
We all need a little more Azazel and a lot less Mystique/Destiny right now.
Haven't read the issue, so I can't agree yet. Austen was one of the worst writers on X-Men. The vast majority of his ideas were stupid, including the idea that a demon-creature who needed someone of his bloodline to come to Earth was able to have sex with a woman on Earth.
Azazel was/is a shit character that was barely used. The movies did him a better justice than the comics
And I repeat, this is still worse. This is still more stupid. And the modern X-Men writers keep making Austen look like an actual writer in comparison.
>Azazel was/is a shit character
And the other characters we're talking about in this thread aren't? Even if they once weren't, they all are by now.
Spurrier is a significantly better writer than Austen.
And yet here's this issue.
To be honest, Spurrier likes to shit his bed, just like he did with The Shadow
still better than austen's run you moron. you never read it so you dont know but it was bad, it made bendis run look like shakespeare
It isn't even out yet. But his original X-Men Legacy run, X-Force, Way of X, Legion of X, Nightcrawlers, and Uncanny Spider-Man have all been solid so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
I think it was marvel's mandate, not his own, original idea.
anything is better than bendis, including my poop
>And the modern X-Men writers keep making Austen look like an actual writer in comparison.
Spoken like a moron who hasn't actually endured his work
I was there. Bad as he was, he wasn't even the worst X-Men writer of the time and he certainly isn't the worst after Benis and Krakoa.
Anon, this story is moronic on a conceptual level, it's in contention for the most moronic thing Marvel have ever done, especially considering the sheer amount of retconning and convolution required.
They're just stacking more shit on the Austin retcon to make it more complicated. Count Wagner and Azazel are still part of this.
Austen is a better writer than the majority of X-Men writers since.
Because it'd be funny. Like the time he erased Beast from the memories of all his friends and loved ones.
ha ha ha damn you Chuck, I laughed
all mystique did wrong was trust her wife, destiny was the one in the wrong
I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one to notice that Destiny is the abusive one in the relationship
Destiny is the crap queen here, but that doesn't mean Mystique isn't a piece of shit everywhere else either.
>when sabretooth is the one with feelings
holy shit.jpg
that was inverted sabertooth
>even bigger holy shit.jpg
with that said, that speaks a lot about mystique
Mystique has always been Top Mom. She uses love as a way to manipulate Rogue, has tried to kill Nightcrawler on multiple occasions despite knowing she's his mother, and threw Graydon in the trash as soon as he was born.
she also assassinated Graydon, we mustn't forget that. Sabretooth for all his flaws (like raping dead corpses), is a better parent than Mystique, holy shit
That's convoluted as frick.
Dare I say the perfect X-Men origin.
>Dare I say the perfect X-Men origin.
exactly. I would add some more shenanigans to make it even more convoluted. this is ripe for bloating an otherwise simple origin
Mystique used Azazel's DNA as part of her blueprints to rewrite her own and grow a wiener.
Well, at least something in this retcon makes sense, in other words... Azazel is still part father, does this mean Kurt has three parents?
...
what the frick Kurt did to deserve that?
is it because he's german?
According to Mystique she used the DNA of Azazel, Christian Wagner, and a bunch of other dudes at Destiny's request. So Kurt technically has a bunch of dads and two moms.
Imagine if Wolverine and Sabretooth are mixed up in that genetic soup somewhere too.
What the frick is this stupid retcon. Mystique is physically incapable of being a shithead... imagine retconning out her yeeting Kurt. And they've always been evil so why would Xavier rewrite their memories...
watch this wacky shit get retconned in the future
Cringe
A Mexican soap opera
She must have been looking like him during ejaculation, when she and Destiny conceived Kurt.
Can the issue please reveal that Mystique was born male and is trans to curry favour with dickgirl connoisseurs, and set off YouTube outrage babies
>Cinemaphilemblr culture warrior is also an obsessive coomer
Checks out.
who's the baby? kurt literally looks like a demon. are they making a joke about irene being a demonic b***h?
or is it an edit
Why isn't anyone complaining about Nightcrawler being Spider-Man?
Oh wait, I know why.
Because it's temporary and in universe he calls himself Creepy Crawler
The only thing I'm complainig about is how Peter and Kurt will never effiel tower any sexy bad girls together.
>The only thing I'm complainig about is how Peter and Kurt will never effiel tower any sexy bad girls together.
You mean Silver Sable and it's the least he could do, most times when one of Pete's friends bangs one of his frick buddies they just like to rub it in his face
Patiently waiting on this Tracy Scops comic now
Because Nightcrawler dressing up like Spider-Man is very clearly a temporary status quo both in and out of universe, and Kurt is different enough both as a character and in his design here, as well as in terms of the mini's story, that he's not stepping on the actual Spider-Man's toes.
It's because he's Blue, isn't it?
Because Kurt is better than Peter and Miles combined and the book isn't constantly saying so.
I've complained about it but obviously it's temporary.
Because it’s fun and it’s a book Spider-man fans won’t touch because they’re too busy whining about Paul
Make Irene the futa you cowards.
So mystique is cartmans mom now
> lolololololol
I hate Nightcrawler I hate his fans so much I hate Mystique I hate all her fans so much more I hate all of this shit Hank is the only good blue X-Men
Shut up little b***h
Nightcrawler is like the least offensive Xman in term of annoyance.
He's one of the most annoying he has an annoying fanbase
But enough about Cyclops.
wait till you see the anti-storm fans
Anti-Storm fans are weird because she has always been the main character since Claremont and for whatever reason they act like it's a recent thing
it's not anti-storm fans, it's people acknowledging that ewing is a shitty writer and a coward. ewing has no integrity, has no writing skill, his only positive trait is that he uses forgotten lore, but he misuses it anyway. frick ewing
Keep seething
yes ewing is good, ewing is life
It was funny when that Wizard 100 storytimer did the X-men vs Dracula and the issue ends with Storm winning from force of will, it’s always been this! She beat Cyke with no powers!
>She beat Cyke with no powers!
She stole his visor and forced him to choose between conceding the fight or risking killing her. People talk about it like she put him down for the knockout or something.
It was also retconned so that Madelyne was unknowingly using her powers to make him lose because she wanted him to lose.
Hello Chuck.
Chuck Austen is better than any black, female or lgbt or any writer that is a supporter of those three demographics who was worked on the X-Men in the past 20 years
Chuck Austen hated Christianity so much that he wrote a hilariously inaccurate take on Catholicism (a plot involving exploding communion wafers and Catholics believing in the rapture)
...and it's still better than this.
No it wasn't.
At worst you can laugh at it and it didn't really do any lasting harm to anything. You can't say the same about this.
Azazel was a shit retcon. He also really wanted to make Magneto the father of Nurse Annie's son, but Marvel wouldn't let him, so it was left a dangling mystery.
>make Magneto the father of Nurse Annie's son
Man, Magneto really loves his flatscan women.
>Azazel was a shit retcon.
But a funny one. And it's still better than Mystique and Destiny being Nightcrawler's parents.
>He also really wanted to make Magneto the father of Nurse Annie's son, but Marvel wouldn't let him, so it was left a dangling mystery.
With the benefit of hindsight, this would have worked out better than every other time Magneto was revealed a someone's dad, as that kid had no character to ruin.
Considering that the same time period had the sheer amount of damage Morrison did to X-Men, and a long past his prime Claremont on another book, and some of the worst work of Joe Casey's career, it's baffling that Austen took the brunt of the hate for stories that were mostly inconsequential in comparison with the others. At least his book was a good time when it was a Juggernaut issue or when that manga artist was on it.
>But a funny one. And it's still better than Mystique and Destiny being Nightcrawler's parents.
But apparently he's still his father
no, it was terrible. austen was a premonition of the writers to come
No, Morrison being a drug addicted troony was
,,,,
cant argue with that
Catholics aren't Christian
Fedora tipping Chuck didn't care, he didn't even know what they specifically believe in. He inherited a lousy plot from Joe Casey and wrote it out in an even worse way.
More Christian than whatever heretical bullshit evangelist grifter you think is Christian.
lol seething go listen to your little latino maybe he'll kiss too because you act like a baby
they are the only real christians unlike your protestant heretical ass
I mean IIRC the fact that it's wrong was deliberate, most Christians barely know dick about their own denomination, Christianity among the masses is historically hugely just riffing on folklore and uncomprehending bible quotes. You really expect them to know the fine details of the inner workings of a denomination almost none of them would actually be?
>I mean IIRC the fact that it's wrong was deliberate,
No it wasn't, and you didn't read the story. The "rapture being real" thing was a plot the villain set up, who was a seething raped nun who wanted to discredit the church. People involved in the church know their own dogma.
Storm gets wanked in modern X-comics because she's an ebin black queen Omega-level mutant goddess Martian empress and writers keep rushing to give her more and more feats.
Storm got wanked in Claremont's X-comics because he was literally wanking over her.
They are not the same.
seriously, people should learn the difference
>it's in contention for the most moronic thing Marvel have ever done
that's even a better reason to do it. you either go full moronic in comics, or you don't enter at all
Nightcrawler's like the Marvel equivalent of Nightwing in having a fanbase that have him as their husbando, a fanbase full of gays and women. But worse than Nightwing because they're borderline furries.
Storm, 'Rightclops', Magneto and Emma have worse fanbases though. People who want to bone Nightcrawler may be annoying, but they're nowhere near the same level of crazy.
I'm not gay, but I would totally hug Nightcrawler, so you are onto something
I hate Nightcrawler and Nightwing fans so much. Storm and Emma need to be killed off forever. I hate fans of all these characters there's just no chill at all with these overly online autistic lgbts. Never do any of my favorite characters get autism armies screeching about them. It's always people saying "I wish so and so character that anon likes maybe gets a little spotlight in any comic that is in line with previous characterization and has compelling story" while every fan of Nightwing/Nightcrawler/Emma/Storm needs that character to be the star of every show and to be right every time and to never face any consequences or challenges. Just praise and promotion.
I swear I've read this except it was Ororo & not Kurt
Mystique can give herself a working wiener? Able to jizz and everything?
Can even make the size whatever she wants?
wew
To be fair, the female Skrull that was posing as Hank Pym did get Tigra pregnant. So this isn’t a first for Marvel.
Several different Skrulls impersonated Hank Pym on the road to Secret Invasion. The female one that first replaced him isn't the final one, who got Tigra pregnant. There was a whole issue about how the earlier ones kept losing faith in the Skrull plan, going rogue and being dealt with by the other Skrulls.
The final one was female too
Pretty sure that one was a guy and remained guy after he was killed.
They show in Avengers Initiative and Secret Invasion, the one that blew up Jan, was a female Skrull as Hank.
Can mystique jack off a male form, Turkey baste the jizz and inject it into a female forms vegana and impregnate herself?
Logically, she must be able to. However, morphing into man while pregnant would kill the baby or both depending on when she does.
She wouldn't even need to jerk off, she could just shapeshift the necessary bits and put it directly into her womb without it leaving her body.
Why stop there, she could literally shapeshift herself to have multiple uterus', and end up carrying multiple children without having to hope for twins or triplets.
That level of inbreeding would show the rest of the mutants what the word “mutant” really means.
yeah, so much for homosexual superior. homosexual superior my ass (not literally)
Fake and gay. Azazel is Nightcrawler's dad.
No, Christian Wagner is.
Messire, I'm afraid to say that Christian Wagner might be a cuckold
So was Mystique Baron Wagner or not?
Oh, ironically, I thought it involved Mystique but rather the idea that she's a Kree/Skrull hybrid that was talked about a few years ago, not the thing that should be more obvious because he actually said it.
Still, what does that make of Azazel and why would he look like Nightcrawler if they aren't actually related? Not to mention how does the whole plot with Christian Wagner make any sense if Mystique didn't actually give birth to him?
Is it all a mislead and the baby she made with Destiny is just someone else and yet another example of Mystique breeding anything that moves? I mean the b***h has already bred with five people already, retconning Destiny as the mother of any of them literally doesn't change that fact.
SEXO
retvrn to bodysvit
Mystique is the father of Jessica Drew's baby
Mystique is the father of Mary Jane's babies
Mystique is the father of Gwen Stacy's babies
Mystique is the father of Wanfa Maximoffs babies
Mystique is the father of Crystal's baby
Mystique is the father of Carol Danver's future babies
Mystique is the father of Aunt May's baby
Mystique is the father of EVERYONE'S BABIES, ALL OF THEM!!! EVERY SINGLE ONE!!!
Calm down anon, it's only a comic. Albeit I'm not so sure anymore
Should it matter when I can jerk off the the the frick out of it until my testicles are burnt out?
You should do it. I will do it too, so together we can fap this thing out of the existence. For my fap, I will use bbw grandmas with small boobs
Mystique stole one of Doom's time machines and is Y-chromosome Adam
Why don't she also grow a dick and balls for Carol too?
Now that Mystique remembers Destiny's frickery it's time for the superior ship
She did, but with Carol's DNA to knock up Spider-Woman.
That explains everything, holy shit. Mystique the impregnator
>Remember that cute boy who you let get to second base under the bleachers back in high school?
>Remember that lesbian applicant who you gave orientation to and then experimented with back in college?
>Remember that erotic "dream" where you were dommed by yourself dressed like a high-ranking imperial officer from Star Wars?
>Remember Marcus?
>Remember that dog that humped your leg that one time?
>IT WAS ME, CAROL!
MYSTIIIIIIIIQUEEEEEEEE
you lovely scamp you
>Nightcrawler is Spider-Men
Comic-book shit really lost it.
so the shitposting became reality. some people might not know it, but it used to be Claremont shitposting, now it becomes reality. poor Kurt
A REMINDER THAT IN MARVEL COMIC PRESENTS DESTINY CALLED NIGHTCRAWLER HIS SON IN A STORY WRITTEN BY CLAREMONT
JESUS FRICKING CHRIST, IT'S A FICTIONAL CHARACTER, AND YET, SOME PEOPLE ARE SO PETTY THAT THEY CAN'T LET IT GO AND REALLY HAD TO MAKE HIM THE CHILD OF TWO LESBIANS FFS
Calm down b***h it's just a comic
NO, I HAVE A BONER, YOU CANNOT STOP ME
just like Mystique
I'm not a troony though. Frick mystique, she's the worst mother/father anyone can have. Rogue did the right thing by cutting her ties with her. And frick destiny, she shoulda stayed dead
NO, I PAID FIVE BUCKS TO WATCH THEM MAKE A DECADES OLD INTERNET MEME INTO CANON
Now you understand why Graydon Creed hates mystique
A reminder that Mystique was actually born as a man, but she choses a female version of herself, because she like it, and it's canon. So yeah, Mystique is a troony
Is it possible to have a dramatic Marvel reveal that has characters looking better than they did before? Please? Just once?
Seriously, the only thing left for marvel is to reveal that Mystique was born a man, but she choses to be female, because she likes it, and we're home
>Rachel confirmed bi
>this
ClaremontBros we keep winning
Now we just need Rachel's Warwolf to wear Carol as a skinsuit
>Rachel confirmed bi
Wait, what?
were you fricking sleeping the last 20 years or what? really, you're going to pretend to be offended?
Calm down, that anon just doesn't know that Rachel and Betsy are an item now because who even want to read a Tini Howard book
you don't have to read tini howard to know that. I am repulsed by the ignorance of some anons
She's been fricking Betsy for like half a decade now
not only betsy, kitty also had some action too
She dated Betsy in Howard’s Excalibur stuff. It’s not GOOD really but I’m happy she’s out of the closet
Happened in Tini Howard's Excalibur. She's dating White Psylocke who's also now bi
>now
Remender had Psylocke fricking a female Fantomex ffs. Can we stop pretending that sexuality in x-men is not gender-fluid? Cyclops has hots for Wolverine, and so does Wolverien for Cyclops
All mutants are gay or bisexual, this has been the case since Claremont.
Storytiming the story, because I hate life and want to see the world burn
frick that, I posted it wrongly. Whatever, you can read it in Marvel Comics Presents #5 from 2019
this was as close as Claremont was allowed to reveal
Does anyone have a good image of mutant Island getting destroyed being reported by the news?I want to make a mutant refugees thread.
Frick off ESL
no you won't, I will destroy you
>The Catholic Mutie is born out of lesbian mothers
lol
That is really telling. I will never make fun of catholics again, they really have it hard
t. israelite
Frick that. Azrael deserves a son that hates him.
Azrael is still technically Kurt's father, since he's basically a sperm donor.
you know, what the frick did he really do with mystique? it sounds like he was abused
it's not going to happen, it's a road to hell, and we are breaking the speed limits now
What if Sabretooth is Graydon's mother?
>Mystique is trans
that means that all of my fanfics are now canon. I don't know how I feel with that. My wish just came true
She'd be a futa, not trans.
but that actually makes it better.... Marvel-sama, I kneel
but she never has been a president... suspicious if you ask me
Gender fluid, she's been both a mother and a father.
Speaking of gender fluid;
Shape-shifting give her the ability to produce sperm, huh? Suddely rearranging your reproductive organs has to put stress on your body. That's what they have to address, here.
oh yes, marvel is certainly going to adress such things. because they actually care about the post-birth stress
I was talking about Mystique changing between functioning womb and vegana to functioning testicles. Wouldn't that be hormonal whiplash?
Then Azazel was all for nothing?
he was a sperm doner
what you say is a normal, sensible reaction. What I imply is that marvel is too dumb to be aware of that. Giving birth is a very serious matter, not that I know it, I'm a guy of course
>oh ffs you didn't have to delete that
meant for
being a mother is a serious stress (but I'm a guy, so I don't know what it means to be a mother of course)
Wait, who's giving birth here? I thought this was about Mystique turning into a guy and banging that other chick to make Nightcrawler. I'm confused.
Your assumption is correct. I think
ORCHIS did nothing wrong
The Phalanx did nothing wrong
The Dominions did nothing wrong
Bring Ultron into the fold
Organic evolution was a mistake
I’m amazed you people are still reading and following x-men.
You guys truly are the uncanny ones.
I’m not, I’m just here to call this shit.
too late, you're part of the mutie crowd. nimrod will have no mercy on your soul
Gillen and Spurrier are both good. I'm gone when their stories are done.
Okay wait a minute where does Kurt's fur come from then? I always assumed it came from the one demon dick head.
from being a male. Nightcrawler is an alpha chad
Honestly how can you even care at this point?
Because it makes my wiener harder than it has ever been before?
Chris, what are you doing on Cinemaphile?
fapping, can't you see?
Do you mean Chris-Chan or someone else?
Wait a minute, Claremont is the father of Chandler? That would explain everything
Chris-Chan's father is the (partial) inventor of plastic bottles.
Reading this thread didnt make me want mutant genocide since I always wanted that. It just made me see it as something more natural and justified then before. Where is Nimrod when you need him.
in your pants. don't ejaculate it all at once
HOLY SHIT ANON YOU WERE RIGHT
I really hate it when he does that. Too much wiping afterwards
In all fairness, the ability to impregnate and get impregnated by anyone and impregnate anyone is evolutionary advantage, right? Like seriously that might be the most awesome superpower ever. I might be seriously drunk here, spellcheck don't register the "S" in superpower as an error here, despite it looking like some kind of foreign variation here.
anon, it's a widely known secret for x-gays, since like forever. now, the normies are learning about it. finally
Normies are just just now discovering that it would be useful to have perfect impregnation abilities?
might be. listen here homie, I am currently listening to Ice-T Colors, I might not be the best source of what is currently popular
What no? Gonochoric reproduction is superior to hermaphrodite reproduction. Herms likely came first but have been mostly out competed by the superior gonochorics.
To be fair, that has more to do with the increased length of time needed to reach sexual maturity for hermaphrodites than anything else. Assuming that's not a factor here, then hermaphroditism would be overwhelmingly superior.
>Kurt was going to be the son of Mystique and Destiny
>well no that's stupid and also the CCA and people of the time will never go for it
>so he's the son of Mystique and a German count
>actually now he's the son of a mutant who looks like a demon and is trapped in a hell dimension who's the origin of mutant teleporters as part of a plan to permanently free himself
>wait, no, actually we're going to canonize the original intended origin even though it's still stupid and now makes no fricking sense since you have to go through like four layers of retcons for it
It's like you don't get it. If it's stupid, then it must be canon. Are you new to comics?
And the biggest retcon of all is that Mystique loves Kurt. Like what the frick, that makes no sense at all.
I would sooner believe that there is a cosmic being more powerful than TOAA and that he created the multiverse to defend himself from it, than THAT bullshit.
>the original intended origin
That was just Nightmare being his dad. But you've otherwise summarized why this is so stupid.
commodity code 39 26 90 97 90 with supplement 2701
It's funny how in movies she only dates men (Xavier, Magneto, Beast)
In current ones she would need NO MAN
They’re too scared to have a hot blue chick make out with an old lady
Spurrier's only claim to fame is writing a Constantine that wasn't as fricking terrible as Tynion/Taylor and having dope Del Mundo covers for a whole X-run. Bisexual British hack.
No, his only claim to fame is the Legion version of X-Men Legacy. It's the only good story he's ever written so he has to keep going back to it. Fully expect him to do more Davidwank some time soon.
Why is kurt spider-man? Please spoonfeed me x-men lore I haven't followed it in like 2 years.
What I hate about this is that if Mystique can really go to extremes to alter her chromosomes to grew testes to produce sperm then why she cannot duplicate other mutant powers by manipulating her x-genes as well? Feels like it should be around the possibilities of what she can do.
You might as well ask why Apocalypse doesn't remember that he canonically can have literally every power if he wants whenever he wants.
Well...why doesn't he?
I mean the real explanation is that Marvel is doing the Cinemaphile equivalent to fetching for (You)s and storytelling be damned. Watching muties die because Nimrod elbow drop on Juggernaut from outer space was the only joy the x-men have brought to me in well over 13 years. I mean I am not buying shit but I had a good laugh, especially when I thought Xavier accidentally coerced mutants into walking into the blender dimension but it was revealed the portals only sent them off to mars or something.
>Watching muties die because Nimrod elbow drop on Juggernaut from outer space
Wait hold up when did I miss this.
Please tell me that's real. Please please please.
What a shit fetish or kink or whatever the frick. Doesn't add anything to the characters. Seems like outrage bait.
Yes it is. X-Men: hellfire gala 2023 is the issue.
Aw that was way less absurd looking than I was hoping. No wonder I didn't remember.
Glad I don't read alot of xmen, in this day they sure are shit
sad