>Yeah Ron. Thanks for picking me up out of my abusive shithole house and putting your dad at risk of losing your family's only source of income and possibly being arrested. Thanks for putting yourself at risk as well for outing magic to muggles with the flying car. Really appreciate it bro. Can I bang your sister in full friendship trust? No I won't tell you till it's already happened. Oh? What happened to your wand? Tough shit dude. Alohomora your bank account by your bootstraps b***h
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forgot his robes. He had to see hermione cucking him with a Chad foreigener in front of the entire castle while wearing rags
harry has canonically offered to pay for ron multiple times both in writing and acc to jk rowling.
then he backdoors the weasleys into wealth by giving the twins enough money to set up a store --- stop slandering him.
Harry should've shook Draco's hand.
Draco is a homosexual and a b***h
There is a fanfiction for every single objection that exists for HP.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7659033/1/They-Shook-Hands-Year-1-New-Version
can you link some fanfics that have the girls whoring themselves out for points ala witcher trainer?
You caught me off guard man, I don't know anything about smut fics sorry. I have the tastes of a 14yo I just read fanfics with big fights, lore exploits and explosions.
>thread still up
no worries, I apologize for just randomly bringing that up[
Someone once posted a fanfic where Ron becomes headmaster and rapes a genderswapped Harry. Funniest shit ever since Pickle Rick.
Link?
>Oh? What happened to your wand?
this one is pretty fricked, if i was harry I'd have gotten him another wand, i can only reason that because it broke at hogwarts they couldn't just nip back to london by themselves... HOWEVER! why would the teachers allow someone to use an unsafe wand for the whole year? not a single teacher could organise taking ron and harry on a trip to gringots then olivanders? having a functioning wand is pretty important to school work, I'm assuming because of the whole the wand chooses the wizards shit no one could do it on his behalf, also couldn't access harrys money on his behalf
According to hogwarts legacy there is a wand store in hogsmeade
couldve shut down in that 100+ years in between
Does it really matter when they can teleport to Diagon Alley in an instant?
Probably not just wanting to point out that there were several options for Harry or the teachers to not dunk on the poor gay
>character says DIAGONALLY
>flies up diagonally
>still ends up in diagon alley
what hackery is this?
>Ends up in nocturnally during the day.
>Shops are open.
is legacy even canon to the main universe?
Not to mention that Hogwarts should have a few spare wands laying around, just like they have brooms, magic books and other stuff.
>"Wow Mr. Weasley, this wand is a magical hazard and it may kill you or others... oh well, just stop being poor lmao"
Just like all hogwarts attendance and how Quidditch is decided on which snitchchaser has the most expensive broom, your grades and performance are also decided on how much you spend
can you buy multiple wands and have spares? of i go into a wand shop with enough gold for 10 wands can i buy them? also how does duel wielding wands work?
i dont know how wands breaking isnt more of an issue, its a flimsy thin stick, trip over with it in your robes you're probably going to break it, sit on it, stand on it, some slytherin prick snapping it for fun, etc etc
>As Ron ran to pull Hermione from the wreckage, Harry took his chance: He leapt over an armchair and wrested the three wands from Draco's grip, pointed all of them at Greyback, and yelled, "Stupefy!" The werewolf was lifted off his feet by the triple spell, flew up to the ceiling, then smashed to the ground.
also harry literally triple-weilded in the books
Almost like real life
I think only the Elder Wand can fix other wands Harry used to fix his own at the end of HP7, which makes no sense but that comes with the territory with Rowling's magic.
>"It can do this but not that because... it just can't OK?"
i still don't get why Harry didn't fix his wand at the end of DH2 and just snapped the elder wand in half
It's JK's version of throwing the ring into Mt. Doom. The protag has to reject being corrupted by ultimate power.
yeah i get why he broke the wand, but why didn't he fix is own wand in the movie like he did in the book?
it's such a weird change
We've seen magic fix broken glasses, wash dishes, bake a pastry from scratch, teleport you all over the place, turn you into someone different, turn you into an animal, and do a million other wacky impossible thighs. NONE OF THE TEACHERS KNOW A SPELL TO FIX A PIECE OF WOOD!?
>we have purposely left his wand broken, as joke
They are great magicians.
The winning house is red
Dumbledore was red house too and we know his wand can fix other wands.
>Running joke for a book that introduced some unique magic situations due to a malfunctioning piece of magic equipment
>Durr why they no fix it immediately
It doesn't matter what in-universe reasoning is present. It was a reasonable manner to present the idea in a children's story.
Also if you read the books you'd understand that wand-wizard relationships are basically once-in-a-lifetime. It's like having an arm cut off, you can't just throw money at it and substituting other wands, what other wands could there possibly be under these constraints???
>what other wands could there possibly be under these constraints???
wands taken off people in duels, become wands of the person that takes them
>basically once-in-a-lifetime.
>Lucius Malfoy in "The Battle of the Ministry" used two wands to attack Harry and Sirius. You can use two wands, and there is nothing stating that you can only cast one spell at a time. It's plainly stated that when you hone your skills you can perform unspoken and wandless magic.
harry uses Hermione's wand to cast the charms when his breaks, he uses the death eater wands while his is broken
don't talk shit anon
>It was a reasonable manner to present the idea in a children's story
And even as a child, it seemed like there should have been a way to fix the problem other than "tough shit go see Olivander next summer". Also wtf are you talking about with this "you only get one wand ever" bullshit? Ron has a new one in the next book!
>why would the teachers allow someone to use an unsafe wand for the whole year?
Because it's funny
Really though all the teachers just had to deal with Fred and George's shit, they all probably despised the Weasleys
They also were fine with students taking part in a tournament where death was a real possibility and they signed off on dumby having a giant monster dog in the school. So them having a laugh at a poor moron is pretty tame
Ron just literally didn’t bring a pencil to class for the entire year that year. I have stress dreams still to this day like that. Thankfully Dumbs cancelled exams because the nazi chamber got opened.
>The wand chooses the wizard
Doesn't this have fricked up implications? Is a wand like a life partner? Are they sentient? What if a wizard already has a wand - are other wands forever marooned away from their chosen wizard? Do wand vendors need to perpetually maintain 10x stock so that a wizard can replace a broken wand?
>why would the teachers allow someone to use an unsafe wand for the whole year?
they spent their money on getting harry a fancy new broomstick.
>Can't order a new wand from Wizardzon
>No extra wands at a magical castle school
Top kek
Go back
frick yourself
>Oh man the hand-me-down robes for the school ball you got from your family look awful and you're embarassed about it? That suuuuuucks hahaha
Ron was right to be a b***h about Harry becoming champion
>has a vault full of gold
>eats his poor friends families food every summer and doesn't offer a penny
The British are a proud people and don't ask for handouts. Unlike you welfare guzzling Americans
that's how you stay rich, also frick the ir*sh
>Oh your family is in desperate need of money and can barely take two steps without something falling apart? That's a shame bro, must suck being poor. If only someone had a literal mountain of gold to help out. Shame innit
He knew not to waste his money. The Weasley's had become totally accustom to living on the razor's edge of poverty and can't fathom having any savings. They spend all money available to them.
They win the Wizard lottery between books 2 and 3 and they spend it all in that summer.
>poorgays are poor because they don't plan their finances and have too many kids
wtf, is rowling a chud?
they are clearly stand in for estate families living off the largesse of the state. noble poverty vibe.
why are harry potter threads so comfy?
they bring out very funny conversations
Anyone who has read these books should be able to tell you that Rowlings single number one literary crime is her incessant overuse of Tag questions.
Every single fricking time someone explains or asks something in these books, they always end it with a "doesn't it/he/she?" or some variation of it.
Here are a few examples from The Philosophers Stone
>“What’s his name again? Howard, isn’t it?”
>“Daddy’s gone mad, hasn’t he?
>Oak, sixteen inches, rather bendy, wasn’t it?”
>“Great food, isn’t it?”
>that’s sort of like basketball on broomsticks with six hoops, isn’t it?”
>“The Sorting Hat chose you for Gryffindor, didn’t it?
>He’s a sort of servant, isn’t he?”
In the first few books its not that noticeable, it happens "only" 16 times in Philosophers stone, and in CoS, only 10. PoA, 13 times.
Even if those books are rather short, not that egregious right? Easy to overlook, almost.
Well hold on to your wands, weve just begun.
>Goblet of Fire, FIFTYFIVE counts of sentences ending with "n't he/she/it"
>Order of the Phoenix, SEVENTYFOUR
>Half Blood Prince, SIXTY
>Deathly Hallows, FIFTYEIGHT
Thats not even including all the other variations of it, like "would we?" for example
That equals out to 286 over 7 books, easily topping out at 300 if you really want to catch every single variant.
Thats rather a lot, isn't it?
Yet somehow, the "Stretch his legs" occurs ONCE at the start of the first book and is now emblematic of Rowlings shitty writing. Ridiculous.
Based autist
It was just something I noticed rereading it a few years ago, and then I just used ctrl+f on the pdfs to find most of them. But you have to agree, its kinda ridiculous, isnt it?
Reminds me of Lost. I rewatched it recently and was astounded how many times a character asks "Why are you telling me this?" It's literally in like every three episodes
isn't that just how brits talk as opposed to murricans
That's just a bri'ish thing, innit?
there's like a million words in the later books though
>"doesn't it/he/she?"
Never bothered me, it's just English phrasing. She does use a LOT of adverbs though, every time Snape said anything it was always "coolly" or "coldly" or "languidly"
>Yes yes, hermoine... she seems fine when you look at her harry, but her blood is... tainted you see... First you see her talking down to purebloods now she dares breed with them? Shes lessening our seed harry, you see it don't you? Muggle born aren't fit to mingle with us harry, sure the ministry may have pressured me to allow a few token students in but godric's flame i'll extinguish them all given the chance. The muggle solution is a hard one to answer harry but we all know even the dark lord himself would agree with me.
He said calmly
>Molly and Fred make open remarks about how they can't afford the new books
>Harry doesn't say shit
>awkwardly eats his breakfast that Molly made for him using the food that she paid for
>goes to Diagon Alley with the family
>gets his books free
>still doesn't say anything when Malfoy makes fun of the Weasleys for being poor
>notices that Malfoy gives Ginny some kind of old black book but doesn't say anything
And this guy is supposed to be our hero?
harry, like his dad, is a dick
i wonder if jk started to realise this and that's why harry gave his triwizard winnings to fred and george so they could open up their joke shop, although that seems kind of like a slap in the face anyway
>no i won't help you out for anything like school books and wands or help you out at home or repay you for all the food and christmas presents youve given me, ill only give you money so you can sell sweets and rape potions to kids
he gives his free set of books to ginny, and pays for a set of his own. was just cut from the movie
>cut from the movie
Not canon to the movie story then
Did you want him to be a nice guy on something, like Snape? Ginny's pussy would dry like a desert the moment he showed any nice guyness
Snape was always the main character.
The first two films are so vastly superior to the other I felt secondhand embarrassment for the director.
True. never bothered watching beyond the 5th movie, I just couldn't bear it. (I re-read the books every few years since I was a kid)
Nostalgia goggles
>guy is irish
>blows himself up
bravo rowling
Why couldn't the school just buy Mandragoras from someplace else to cure the students instead of waiting a whole year?
i have no hope the remake will be any good, still probably watch the first episode or so, unless we end up with a general here for each episode, tv generals are always extremely fun
I'll only watch in the case of military grade dicky