I thought most guys had at least a few girlfriends or sex by the time they were like 30. If I had to guess maybe like 5% at most would be virgins at 40
Here in Sweden about 95% have lost their virginity by 25. 99% by 30. Those are the official statistics.
Being incel beyond 30 is insanely rare. You can imagien what type of mental subhuman i am
Ive lied my entire life since i was 15 or so. Im 26 now. Nowadays nobody asks me anymore, im pretty sure i give off massive virgin vibes.
There was a new guy with a wife and children who im somewhat close to, we like to banter. And he started to eye women and talk about how hot they are and i just lose my conversational aptitude and just become quiet and "giggle". Its fricking cringe
Yeah thats why people can tell idiot lol. If a group of guys are talking about pussy and you clam up or offer super vague comments that indicate you have no experience, no shit its gonna be obvious you're a virgin.
I don't know why you guys don't just lean into being a virgin. If you can own it in sort of a goofy way people will like you and other dudes will actually try to get you laid. I've known two guys like that and they both eventually got laid through other guys helping them and setting them up.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Ive been fake my entire life, and i mostly dont have a personality. I am a husk of a man unironically
10 months ago
Anonymous
>Yeah thats why people can tell idiot lol. If a group of guys are talking about pussy and you clam up or offer super vague comments that indicate you have no experience, no shit its gonna be obvious you're a virgin.
Schopenhauer was right about solitude, most people are animals catering to their primal desires.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Lmao, implying these fools who can't even wipe their own shitty arses properly know who Schopenhauer is.
10 months ago
Anonymous
We shall work to educate them.
10 months ago
Anonymous
You can only "own it" maybe as a young adult, and it will still be seen as pathetic from most people then as well, women especially. By the time you reach 30 you can't "own it" no more, in fact you're quite literally better off lying even though most people know.
An adult clueless virgin who was never in any kind of relationship is a gigantic red flag to most of society.
10 months ago
Anonymous
This is how i feel about it. Real life is not the movie in OP. People are judgemental as frick and letting the office know you're a 30 yo KHHV is the fastest way to brand yourself a creep
10 months ago
Anonymous
Yeah I guess it doesn't work at 30 but I knew a kid who was 24 and would goofily lament about being a virgin around the boys. Eventually someone got him laid which then opened the door to an absolute windfall of pushy for him somehow. He has a double digit body count now.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Sounds like a neurotypical person who was just very unlucky and kept trying. Most KHHV are mentalcels who never tried. Those arent exactly the type of people to be goofy about their virginity, especially if they're kinda emotionless all the time anyways
10 months ago
Anonymous
Nah he had more of an aspie personality where he literally would just say anything without embarrassment, thats probably why he never felt ashamed about being a virgin and would just openly talk and complain about it.
10 months ago
Anonymous
It isn't even strictly about penis in vegana, I'd bet that dude you're talking about has had some past experiences with girls be it kissing or light relationships just that he never actually went all the way.
People don't really care did you insert your penis in a vegana, but they definitely will treat you way differently if they know you have never been in any kind of relationship. Most people often talk about their gf/bf/husband/wife and if you never have anything to add it shows quickly
10 months ago
Anonymous
>Most people often talk about their gf/bf/husband/wife and if you never have anything to add it shows quickly
This is the most infuriating part for me. What few friends I do have and coworkers babble incessantly about their partner and kids. It's all they can talk about.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Its because it what makes worth living. It makes my suffering so much more.
Everyone with kids talk about how its the reason they keep going and what brings them happyness. And i know if i had my own little kid i would feel the same way, the urge is very strong.
Working on the career has proven to be a failed strategy for happyness. Dont get me wrong im happy i have a career rather than not having a career, but i would swap it out in an instant for a family of my own.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Yeah, I agree that career is cope, unless you are literally out there revolutionizing shit or making world changing discoveries. People at the end of their lives almost universally say that what mattes is friends and family, and what they regret was work.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Really as a young guy there are two socially acceptable options personality-wise. You can either give off the young, carefree partier vibe in which case it's fine if you don't talk about relationships. Or you can be the more serious, "mature" relationship guy. If you don't fit either of those molds you will be looked down on. I'm guessing the issue with most people here is they have the serious personality but without a girlfriend or any romantic experience which makes people think you're a weirdo. Especially in an office environment.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Black person, who cares?
I can win a 1 Vs 1 any of my work colleagues, you think I care they know I have zero experience with women?
I'm already going to be unable to afford retirement, why in hell would I want an aging hole too?
10 months ago
Anonymous
if it's really that important for someone, I'm sure they can get a prostitute
10 months ago
Anonymous
At 27 I was backpacking Australia 2 months and ended up in Byron's Bay for schoolies which is their highschool graduation partying. Was just chilling after starting to sunburn and some guys invited me to a party so hung out with them for a few hours in apartment they rented. Neighbour girls were there hanging out. After a few hours of drinking everyone goes out to walk down to a club or something and the streets are full of people partying. Anyway they mention the one kid is still a virgin so I say I am so they won't bother the guy and the two girls start yelling at strangers trying to set me up. I just noped the frick out since it meant the ones I'd actually been around weren't interested.
After this I had two months of traveling to talk about which any woman is going to listen to. I talked someone out of killing themself and confidence peaked granting my wizard powers. I spent years talking to women online as my main hobby. Eventually I went to meet one and she had a wedding ring on. Haven't cared about women since. The only two people I would even consider friends are women, and I talked to them last in December.
The problem with any advice to get women is once you see behind the curtain you don't want them.
10 months ago
Anonymous
i think if you frick escort at least few times, and then you tell people you are virigin every time topic comes up, they will most likely not even believe that , and then you are winner either way. Either they dont believe you and your are uber ironic jokestermaxxing 30yo fake virgin, really funny
Or they believe you but barely and there is still massive chance you are lying to them. And they will help you get laid.
Honnestly there is not downside to admitting you are virgin - if you fricked escort few times and actually have some confidence cause you did some things in your life
10 months ago
Anonymous
>Honnestly there is not downside to admitting you are virgin
stop saying absolute garbage
in fact there is nothing positive to admitting you're a virgin in 99% of situations
>massive virgin vibes
what the frick does this even mean? my friend didnt lose his virginity until 29 and honestly if you told me he was still a virgin id believe you. the fricker is still the exact same person, he still "clams" up when sex is brought up because why the frick does anyone wanna hear that shit or about your experiences? maybe some really vague shit but dudes who go into specific details about their sexual encounters are most likely liars anyways. its like those guys who unironically claim they have a massive dick, like sure buddy
10 months ago
Anonymous
I cant say for sure if i give off virgin vibes. But I would guess i do
Interesting that the less white America gets, the more the incel problem rises. Also interesting that if you actually go to incel websites and hear them talk 90% of them are Asians or some type of black or brown who spend all day crying that white women wont frick them
They have a thing called JBW theory - Just Be White Theory, that says being a white incel is cope
I somewhat agree, you can always geomaxx in south east asia or south america
But still, mental problems will hurt a person regardless of whether they are white, asian, or black.
I agree. There are some white incels who are truly genetic abominations, but that’s like 1% of the incels. The other 99% are just so fricking mentally ill, and if they weren’t they could even score fine white women if they just acted cool and funny and groomed themselves just a bit. Seriously go outside, you’ll find the ugliest white dudes with fine girls because they are mentally put together and have a good personality
It should be a white pill for incels to realize that men are actually much more superficial then women, we ONLY care about attractiveness, whereas women do actually care about personality and popularity, and looks. Like you have multiplied different avenues to score. A woman and you don’t need all three of those things, just one.
The issue is mental problems isnt something you can fix. Especially if you’re over 25 and neuroplasticity is all but settled. You are who you are after 25 in like 95% of cases
Is it really this grim? I don’t enough about this to dispute it, but all I know is that it definitely seems like 95% of people don’t and will never change their core personality and mental makeup, but I feel like I did. I went from an awkward teenager to someone who can be popular with normies in my 20’s.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Yea im talking statistically obviously, not saying its impossible
It is what it is. I'm no longer interested in sex. I stopped jerking off a few years ago. If anyone directly ask if I'm a virgin, I just say the truth. I've stopped caring.
My male acquaintances/co-workers that know get these horrified looks on their faces when I acknowledge the obvious. They genuinely seem to be upset and some just tell me to get a hooker. I'll never get a hooker. Im actually very sensitive. I believe that I would be spiritually destroyed if I paid a hooker to lose my virginity.
We have the same attitude on the prostitute option, but I have a very hard time believing that you've eliminated masturbation altogether. I'm just shy of 40 and about 2-3 years ago the libido came roaring back out of nowhere. I'm glad that you're able to mindbreak normies (this implies that you're not too bad looking, that would probably make the dissonance that much worse for them), but in all seriousness if you're being honest about the no masturbation detail, this may imply some form of major depression.
Throughout my early/mid-30s I psychologically relegated masturbation to the office of a necessary bodily function to be done with as quickly as possible so I can get back to what I actually want to be doing, on the same level as urination and defecation.
Looking back now: I was 26 when I first lived on my own (no family or housemates) and didn't buy a double bed. I must have somehow known there was no hope for me.
>32 >35 >3
After my ex wife divorced me something snapped and I spent 10 hours a day working on getting hookups to match what her body count was within 3 months. After that I calmed down and haven't felt the same desire since.
My bloodline will likely end with me, I haven't hooked up regularly with women since college and that was maybe 1 new partner per month on average, which is very possible for anyone when you abuse drugs.
I've never even been on a date or even asked a girl out. I went to college, still never talked to anyone. I've never made a dating profile.
I've been a loser for my entire life so I've never had the social opportunities to meet women. Even the small handful of women over my life who have shown interest in me, I never did anything out of the shame of my pathetic life, because I have exactly zero other life accomplishments as well
I hope I gain the courage to commit suicide sometime this year.
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I don't mind being a virgin as I would not have intercourse outside of a serious relationship anyways. To that end, I filter out unsuitable candidates by talking about middle eastern geopolitics whenever I first talk with chicks. Those who are able to keep up the conversation are always taken.
I had two girlfriends who I was way too timid to ever go all the way with. Fricked number 3 two weeks after we started dating. I got to try everything I’ve ever wanted with her.We broke up and I’m scared that’s as good as it will ever get for me since I haven’t gotten laid in 8 months
His flashbacks show that he did have the opportunity to have sex but he was awkward and clumsy which is he why never pulled it off before.
This isn't a mean-spirited movie. His coworkers were actually being bros to him by trying to get him laid. Carrel's character was a guy who was content with his life. He kept himself in shape, had a nice apartment on a job in a home goods chain, spent his money on collectibles and stuff he enjoyed, and wasn't a hideous basement troll with a hateful attitude.
I dont think most incels are basement dwellers with hateful attitude. Maybe they are self-hating but thats natural considering their condition. Its actually impressive by Carrells character that he kept up his spirits and was honest about his condition with others around him. Its a dying gen X/millenial breed. I highly doubt that will happen with zoomers
Yeah anyone before in 1990 and onwards is kinda fricked in the dating/sexual market. I remember way back when I saw this movie the summer I graduated high school one of my autist buddies managed to lose his virginity coincidentally. He was a big dude (6'4) and strong as an ox. But he didn't have game. Our mutual buddy was this suave Latino dude who was only 5'7 and helped him build his confidence in asking a girl out.
>Its actually impressive by Carrells character that he kept up his spirits and was honest about his condition with others around him.
It's why The 40 Year Old Virgin is a very good comedy/drama. He's a refreshing look at social recluse whose a bit awkward and dorky, but he DID have opportunities to lay with a woman, but he was looking for a quality relationship and not just a smash-and-dash or taking advantage of drunk or emotionally vulnerable women.
that probably describes most virgins past the mid twenties. they don't actively pursue women and are maybe quite asocial. so the situation where sex could happen just never develops, because they don't seek it out, and lord knows women do not pursue anyone but the chads.
Not a virgin but I haven't gotten laid for years after I was 27 and went to a wedding. It's just that the grind of work and everyday life just burns you out and you can't party and drink like you used to.
Yeah thats why people can tell idiot lol. If a group of guys are talking about pussy and you clam up or offer super vague comments that indicate you have no experience, no shit its gonna be obvious you're a virgin.
I don't know why you guys don't just lean into being a virgin. If you can own it in sort of a goofy way people will like you and other dudes will actually try to get you laid. I've known two guys like that and they both eventually got laid through other guys helping them and setting them up.
A guy in my junior year of undergrad was one of those hardcore Christian types and was a virgin. And he was actually decent-looking and in shape, but he insisted on keeping himself "pure" for his future wife. A couple of the hot bawds on campus wanted to pop his cherry because he was a challenge to them.
>Taking advantage of drunk >Or ~~*"emotionally vulnerable"*~~ women
1. Will get you prison time
2. Will also get you prison time the second the bawd regrets it
I really wish I could reach through the screen and strangle your geriatric, boomer ass.
I'd bukkk break you too, of course.
that probably describes most virgins past the mid twenties. they don't actively pursue women and are maybe quite asocial. so the situation where sex could happen just never develops, because they don't seek it out, and lord knows women do not pursue anyone but the chads.
These threads are pure evil, it's like a black hole of soul consuming ill intended thoughts and ideologies, humanity is a mistake and nany sane man should strive for a discontinuation of the madness.
Meet a drunk bawd at a bar
Make small talk for like 5 minutes.
Ask for her number/snapchat. If she thinks you're attractive she'll give it to you.
The next morning, ask how her night ended up. Then ask her out on a date later in the week.
After the date there is like a 70% chance she'll frick you depending on how loose she truly is. If not she will frick you if you go out with her 2-3 more times, guaranteed. Or you can move on.
Thats how I've always done it, never even bothered with the apps honestly but I have friends who do and it seems even easier there. No idea how you guys struggle so much.
>Meet a drunk bawd at a bar >Make small talk for like 5 minutes.
See you're a neurotypical sex haver so these two things are automatic non events for you, while for an adult virgin these two things are absolute alien territory.
Might as well say just go find a dragon in the wild and then fly on it through clouds.
10 months ago
Anonymous
The only real prerequisite is to have friends. You need friends to actually be in social gatherings in the first place. Which I guess might be hard for some of you. But from there it is literally just small talk and then blind luck that she actually finds you attractive. And then having the balls to make the move. Not that difficult. I have no idea how you could function a career if you lack the social skill to talk to a woman and then ask for her phone number.
10 months ago
Anonymous
You have to be lucky to get hired. As a neurodivergent autist its even harder. There are niches obviously, FAANG companies want those, but thats an extremly limited amount of jobs. Most others have to just get lucky to get hired. If you have a few years experience it doesnt really matter after that, there will always be a job on you based on resume alone
We recently hired an extremly outgoing rookie over a more experienced but more quiet and reserved person. Both women. It just confirmed to me how humans operate. And it does make sense, people value that people who you are going to spend 40 hours per week with are somewhat social
10 months ago
Anonymous
I already have friends. I have absolutely no idea how to small talk with a girl though >how you could function a career if you lack the social skill to talk to a woman and then ask for her phone number.
Pretty easy, you don't need to know how to flirt or show sexual interest in order to be a good coworker.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Small talk with women is literally just playing 20 questions. Ask where she's from. Ask what she does. Ask where she went to school and what she studied. Ask how she met her friends and how long they've known each other. Its not rocket science.
10 months ago
Anonymous
I have no problem with regular talking with pretty much anyone. The issue is in getting anywhere past mere talking
10 months ago
Anonymous
Well then from there literally just ask for your number. If she thinks you're attractive she'll give it to you. That's it. Be simple and direct, just say you think she's cute and you'd like to get her number and take her out.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Ask how she'd feel if she hadn't eaten breakfast.
10 months ago
Anonymous
so what? You have to go out to even have chance for small talk tho
10 months ago
Anonymous
>have friends >they're all social morons like me
guess I'm out
I'm trying my best, i got a job, i go to the gym, i'm trying to be sociable and i'm in love with a girl, if i don't lose my v-card this year i will just give up
don't make a woman the whole focus of your life, improve yourself for YOU not for anyone else especially modern day women. Godspeed Anon ,I was in your shoes once and I am much richer and happier now.
This is a bit of a catch 20 when ultimately this is just fake advice. Same bullshit gymbros tell themselves. They do it to mate with a woman and have a family. But to not be depressed and hurt their chances they tell themselves such lies.
Its good if it works but some of us are too cynical to fully believe it
fair enough, I can relate to that sentiment. As men we obviously want/need women and to have families, but israelite homosexualry/feminism ruined it. Which leaves us with the mgtow/live your life on your own terms approach that works for a lot of us. Either best of luck to you.
Mgtow is pure cope. >you won’t give me pussy? Fine I never wanted it anyway!!!!!!
10 months ago
Anonymous
It is cope, but after perusing through some of their chats, the non-incel ones are usually guys who are awake to the fact that this is a clown world or got fricked over in the past by their wives/girlfriends.
The ones that have sour grapes and go monk mode are absolute tools, but the ones that advocate physical well-being, mental improvement, pursuing hobbies and interests, and living a happy fulfilling life have some good advice and perspectives.
10 months ago
Anonymous
I see that, I think they have some good ideas but I think they hate women too much. I think women act how they do because 90% of men are soi cuck man children. The societies of my ancestors had no problems with women because they were strong men, and they didn’t have to abuse women or make them wear hijabs either.
The true redpill take it is realizing women are children, and if you hate them for that, you’re a loser who fell for egalitirarianism and you’re mad women aren’t acting equal to a man.
10 months ago
Anonymous
I don't get the hate towards women. I've encountered a few nasty b***hes but it doesn't make me snarky towards females.
I mean it's kinda fricked up how women are camwhoring themselves or selling feet pics on Onlyfans while some of us are busting our asses in the office or field. I was at a club a couple years back to celebrate my bro getting engaged and I overheard some thots talking about how they made 20 grand in a month for just wearing a towel and giggling to stupid cucks throwing their money at them.
Sometimes you just gotta shrug and say frick it, nothing you can do but keep your head down and not fall for that bullshit.
I do feel that since women pushed for the narrative that they're equal to men that they damned well better act like men in terms of performance and ethics. You can't have it both ways
10 months ago
Anonymous
what is going on with Cinemaphile today? what's with all these reasonable posts?
10 months ago
Anonymous
Yes i 100% agree. I do hate women who are prostitutes and bawds and feminists but I’ve met tons of cool women irl, and like I said, I don’t view women as equal to me so I don’t sperg out and cry when I do meet some crazy women, the same way I don’t hate all kids. And again, comparing them to modern men, I feel pretty favorable toward women.
10 months ago
Anonymous
>I don't get the hate towards women. I've encountered a few nasty b***hes but it doesn't make me snarky towards females.
you're only experiencing that on Cinemaphile. i also get quite annoyed with the hate for women on here especially the double standards the women hating guys here have. im not a simp or anything like that, and i also dont blame women for me being a 30 yo kissless virgin because i provide nothing of value to any of them.
10 months ago
Anonymous
People keep saying "cope" like a zinger but is there really something wrong with coping?
10 months ago
Anonymous
Not saying it’s right or wrong to cope but it’s a fact. There is truth vs cope and mgtow is def cope even if somewhat useful to some people.
I’d say some cope is fine for your health, but if you’re core philosophical life tenants are just cope, that’s an issue and you’re a person hiding from truth and living in lies, and if you’re an atheist who just sees humans as advanced animals or whatever I guess that’s cool to you, but I personally am not into that.
10 months ago
Anonymous
Coping is actually great. I wish i wasnt as cynical as i am. If you can successfully cope all the more to you. In the end, comparison is the thief of joy, and i truly think if i was less analyzing and like 30 less IQ points id be happier
10 months ago
Anonymous
Extreme high iq can be quite dysgenic. Most of the crazy geniuses of history were really lonely fricked up mental cases. I really think I’m probably average iq but just somewhat wise
10 months ago
Anonymous
You underestimate your IQ. The average IQ on Cinemaphile is already for sure a std above the population mean
To sidetrack about your dysgen is point. I read an interesting theory before that humanity almost ”naturally”, and i guess other species too, produce these types of dysgenic people. The alleged benefit of this would be that in more extreme circumstances these people would be able to somehow adapt more easily and reproduce, carrying the genome forward. Idk how true that is but i see some merit to it.
10 months ago
Anonymous
That’s a super interesting theory and definitely makes sense. It really is a weird thing how some people just come out as super geniuses naturally even if their parents were normal.
Men are used to being alone. We're told to buck up and just deal with shit while girls get coddled.
Life doesn't improve, we just realize that the deck is stacked against us since birth and you have to make do and soldier on.
You workout because you want to be healthy. You don't do it to impress girls or anyone but yourself. You achieve academic merit because it benefits your career prospects and scholarly pursuits. You attain financial gains because you're still young and able to work hard because there's gonna come a point when you can't anymore.
Don't sink into a pit of despair and self-loathing. Who the frick cares if you don't get laid or have a relationship. You can't expect a woman to love you if you can't even love yourself. Nobody is going to care about you or work for your achievements but you.
I don't care about being a virgin. When I get horny I just jerk off and move on. The effort for me that is required to have sex doesn't seem worth it. Honestly I'm not sure I would even do it if I was a "Chad" because of the risk of STDs and potential drama.
Not that anon, but I understand what he means. Everybody would like to have a loving wife, but for some of us the motivation or drive to actively seek it just isn't there. So we remain adult virgins till death
my biggest problem right now is just being too lazy to do anything but browse the internet all day. relationship worries dont even enter my mind right now. it's like how someone who is struggling to pay rent isn't thinking about how he can't afford that sports car
maybe I'm too naive but I feel like if I got out there, engaged in some productive hobby, went to some hobby-related events, got a job, started to take care of myself physically and mentally a relationship would come by itself
Not him but I've genuinely never wanted to get married or to have kids. I also don't want to go into debt, not even for the purpose of building equity in a house. I don't believe in debt. Of course, women, especially middle aged women, are going to insist on at least one of those three things, otherwise they feel (from their point of view) that there's no point in the relationship. They get frustrated because they compare themselves with others who have at least one of those three things (or all three) and feel themselves to be the losers.
When I was in my early 20s, two friends got married within a few weeks of each other. Both weddings were fun but privately I said to myself "statistically, one of these two guys is gonna be divorced in the next ten years." And sure enough.
At the most I would want a sort of frickbuddy relationship in some very tiny, affordable house... and then that's it. Nothing changes. I wouldn't tire of such a (theoretical) arrangement, but the other partner inevitably would. And no, I don't care what happens to me when I get old and no one younger than me (a child) genuinely cares about me, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. But what I won't do is play ball. Even if I were in a position of some bargaining power I still wouldn't want a kid.
>statistically, one of these two guys is gonna be divorced in the next ten years." And sure enough.
I keep hearing this from incels (i am incel myself) but this just screams cope. I dont know why some incels keep thinking this is a gatcha. Mgtow types are even more moronic about this.
Yes a divorce happens but they had some wonderful years with tons of memories. More than likely they had kids that will keep giving them happyness. And most divorced people remarry.
Whereas an incel coping with a career and working out is a husk. There is nothing to that life. Its shallow, boring, unfulfilling. Whereas those people who got married and then divorced have at the very least LIVED
>Whereas those people who got married and then divorced have at the very least LIVED
I'm pretty sure most divorced men would disagree with you since a divorce in most cases is like going all in an investment for years and years only to get rugpulled in the end.
But you're right on the fact that us virgins cope with risk and statistics since we're so afraid to leave our comfort zone in most life departments.
Most divorces dont end in divorce rapes. Thats another massive cope from incels and mgtows. Most end amicably and somewhat peaceful. You have to remember housewives have not been a thing for a long time now. The woman also makes money these days, so the degree of asset loss is really not that high except in exceptional cases
10 months ago
Anonymous
I was not even talking about le divorce rapes, but quite literally investing your entire life into something which then falls apart completely. You talk about it as if just two friends splitting up and that's it
>But you're right on the fact that us virgins cope with risk and statistics since we're so afraid to leave our comfort zone in most life departments.
This is also fair, and it does accurately describe me. But still. Fifty fricking percent. Like, African American, what the frick are you doing. For homosexual men, the simple sex act also carries massive STD risks, maybe not on the order of fifty percent, but there's a lot of gays walking around with at least one nasty disease.
If there's some major risk like five, ten, even twenty percent. Maybe go for it. Maybe the reward is worth it. But jesus.
Marriage is supposed to last for life. It doesn't need to be an idealized "love marriage" (this expectation has been harmful in the west in itself), but it is and has historically been a lifelong arrangement for biological and sociological reproduction. Today, marriage is an incredibly stupid gamble in the present environment, and all the barriers and incentives to keep married couples together have been largely destroyed or even reversed.
You're right that there's some sour grapes involved on my end, but you are painting a VERY rosy, idealized picture of divorce. So much so, that I suspect that you're a woman. Divorce is extremely painful for men and then they keep paying on top of that.
I also reject your premise that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. the truth is plainly the reverse. Especially when you lose the sexual access and you are forced to keep paying anyway, a double injury and therefore a net negative. Even the "happy memories" themselves become painful (on the contrary of what you're trying to say) because it's in the past and you can't have it the same way anymore.
I get what you're saying. We have no idea what goes on behind closed doors and when the pictures/videos of these smiling happy families aren't taken, but all of my friends and neighbors seem to have stable marriages. The wives (some are also my friends) have jobs that they enjoy, are good mothers to the kids, and treat the husbands well. My boys are all hard-working attentive dads and husbands from the way it looks. There's no perfect marriage, but it looks like everyone involved works hard and strives to do their best.
Most divorces dont end in divorce rapes. Thats another massive cope from incels and mgtows. Most end amicably and somewhat peaceful. You have to remember housewives have not been a thing for a long time now. The woman also makes money these days, so the degree of asset loss is really not that high except in exceptional cases
I agree in the past they used to be amicable and there's still a good amount of them that are this way. But when you read news articles about how something like 20-30% of men find out their kids are not theirs or how women and men cheat, it makes you a bit wary.
10 months ago
Anonymous
No one with a job is a good mother.
10 months ago
Anonymous
My 2 female friends who got married are both intelligent and passionate about their pursuits. 1 is a counselor while having 3 sons and the other is a teacher with a daughter. They still spend plenty of times raising their kids as well as helping people in their respective careers.
what is going on with Cinemaphile today? what's with all these reasonable posts?
LOL, there's a lot of reasonable level-headed anons here. Not everyone is a basement-dwelling troll without friends or never kissed a female on a date.
"Bring out the best in (you)" is just a euphemism for "I (Woman, in general) will "inspire" you (Man, in general) to earn more money in order to maintain your routine sexual access to me." As a representative of all womanhood, her instinct kicked in and she tried to market the product to you with a euphemism. And the sick thing is, it works. Married men/family men are well-documented to be higher earners, because they have something "worth working for". But on the grand scheme it's still a base transactional money-for-sex exchange. Prostitution on the societal level. The Onion has an excellent old piece which skewers this very fact:
Ironically, my own parents have been in a loving, stable marriage for over 40 years, so I have first hand experience of what a good one looks like (mutual trust and honesty, complementary skills, etc). But I had to learn through other avenues that it isn't the norm, at least not anymore.
Well Cassie is literally the sister I never had and she genuinely means what she says. And you're right that married men are work mules because they have to provide for themselves and their families. Glad you were fortunate to have a mom and dad of upstanding qualities; that's going to become a rarity soon.
This thread is actually comfy and I'm currently rewatching The 40 Year Old Virgin since it's on Tubi. I don't get the demoralization posts here.
My childhood friend got married last year. She's practically my sister and she asked me why I wasn't going to find a good woman to marry. I told her some of the reasons you said about debt as well as I can't be bothered with dealing with someone else when I need to get my own issues in order. She told me a good woman in my life will bring out the best in me and will challenge me to break out of conformity. She's one of the few females I absolutely trust because we grew up together and she doesn't act like these typical ditzes and prostitutes. I appreciate her advice, but I think she's too conditioned into thinking that the world is like the 90's and 00's that we grew up in when things still made sense.
>statistically, one of these two guys is gonna be divorced in the next ten years." And sure enough.
I keep hearing this from incels (i am incel myself) but this just screams cope. I dont know why some incels keep thinking this is a gatcha. Mgtow types are even more moronic about this.
Yes a divorce happens but they had some wonderful years with tons of memories. More than likely they had kids that will keep giving them happyness. And most divorced people remarry.
Whereas an incel coping with a career and working out is a husk. There is nothing to that life. Its shallow, boring, unfulfilling. Whereas those people who got married and then divorced have at the very least LIVED
Yeah it does sound very black-pilled and defeatist to think like that. However, it's a very scary fact that 50% of marriages in the US end up in divorce and at least 3/4 of the time, it's the woman that initiates it.
You say that it's better to have lived and suffered than live with regret? One of my bosses got divorce-raped (also found out that 2 eldest kids aren't actually his yet he still has to pay child support because he's listed as the dad, the youngest 2 are his thankfully). He was literally a man in defeat, if he didn't have his 2 youngest kids to worry about, he probably would've committed suicide.
All of my friends that I've known since public school and college (been to nearly all of their weddings too as well as attended the days their kids were born) have solid stable marriages. One of them admittedly married a former party girl who was very smart enough to clean up her image (I found old pics of her on Myspace where she was making out with 2-3 guys or with girls, getting shit-faced drunk, wearing thongs and other bawd behavior), but she is a good mom to her kids. And my buddy loves his son and daughter and spoils them emotionally as well as financially.
>You say that it's better to have lived and suffered than live with regret? One of my bosses got divorce-raped (also found out that 2 eldest kids aren't actually his yet he still has to pay child support because he's listed as the dad, the youngest 2 are his thankfully). He was literally a man in defeat, if he didn't have his 2 youngest kids to worry about, he probably would've committed suicide.
This is obviously NOT how divorces normally happens. And yes, being cucked would make a lot of men kill themselves. In that particular case the marriage was not worth it
But can you really say the same is true for the average divorce? Be honest now
"Bring out the best in (you)" is just a euphemism for "I (Woman, in general) will "inspire" you (Man, in general) to earn more money in order to maintain your routine sexual access to me." As a representative of all womanhood, her instinct kicked in and she tried to market the product to you with a euphemism. And the sick thing is, it works. Married men/family men are well-documented to be higher earners, because they have something "worth working for". But on the grand scheme it's still a base transactional money-for-sex exchange. Prostitution on the societal level. The Onion has an excellent old piece which skewers this very fact:
Ironically, my own parents have been in a loving, stable marriage for over 40 years, so I have first hand experience of what a good one looks like (mutual trust and honesty, complementary skills, etc). But I had to learn through other avenues that it isn't the norm, at least not anymore.
im more and more thinking that recent times have been a complete mask off moment for male identity and masculinity. it seems to be so wholly defined by things outside the man, by what he can do for a wife or a family, what job he has and his role as a provider. as you say, married men do better in almost all areas; income, health, average life expectancy etc. it's also not uncommon for men to completely crash and burn if they get divorced. we can joke about toxic masculinity, but i think there is a lot of truth in that men need to figure out a new way forward.
10 months ago
Anonymous
The thing is, you dont really define masculinity abstractly, or derive it philosophically. It just is what it is. We have certain natural insticts and we clump those together that generally fits for most men and call that masculinity. It so happens that what we naturally provide coincides with what we have basically made abundant. There is no reason for women to get a man other than intimacy and his sperm today. His resources and providing skills are no longer really necessary.
No amount of talking about ”what is a man really” will change that dynamix
10 months ago
Anonymous
Women raised the standard by becoming free to pursue their own educations, careers and incomes, and since women generally do not date down, this has left a lot of men shit out of luck as you say. It's leading to more single men (especially in more rural areas) and more single women (especially in cities), which is making both miserable. Something's gotta give.
10 months ago
Anonymous
I think its pretty obvious men are the bottleneck, unlike what most on Cinemaphile will tell you.
I do agree with femcels generally speaking, that the value proposition from men today is very low. Just being an office drone bringing in a slightly above average wage doesnt really change a womans life much
It's mostly cope, but I know exactly what you're saying. The motivation to actively seek a partner just isn't there, or at least it isn't strong enough to make you act on it.
I think I'm pretty ok looking (I've been called handsome before by girls who weren't family members) but I just have no idea how to initiate a relationship or have sex. I just sort of coast through life thinking "oh, I'll get a gf naturally one day" but for my entire adult life it hasn't happened.
Do you guys ever think that sex/relationships are just the result of luck and being in the right place, with the right people, at the right time?
>inb4 "those girls lied, you're actually just ugly!"
Look, I might not be a male model, but I know FAR uglier dudes who've gotten laid and had relationships. My appearance isn't the problem
Unless you're insanely attractive i.e pic rel, no woman will approach you.
You need to download dating apps or ask a woman out. Otherwise its never happening for average or even above average men
Thats human mating rituals. If you consider it pathetic you are selected out, unless a woman who also thinks its pathetic and happens to seek you out happens. But again, chances are extremly slim
You'll have to go back to the first split in evolution where genders started being a thing. It was for sure before mammals though, every mammal works the same way
>Sounds pathetic, like you're begging to be inside someone.
I know exactly what you mean, which is why things like flirting feels so turbocringe to me. As if you have to put on some desperate pretend act just to maybe insert your dick into a pussy.
The thing is other guys don't give a shit about how it feels and just do it even though it might end up pathetic, while we just fear of cringe till death
And the thing is even if women approach you those are not the kind of women you want to wife up. Even the biggest Chad on the planet still has to be the one who makes the first move if he wants an actual quality girl, because that quality girl sure won't be approaching men around
I'm like a 6 or 7 out of 10 and I'm short (5'8") and I have had several women either approach me themselves or send their friends over to approach me on their behalf.
They were all pretty mid tbh but still, women will approach. Really hot girls won't but cute to average ones will.
>Search celibacy on google >Lots of biased articles stating how bad it is for you
I wonder why would they do this?
Is it because people who have control over themselves are less susceptible to propaganda?
I watched a movie that left me really motivated to stop living life on auto pilot and start taking control only to next day wake up and go back to my routine.
People posting "we're all going to make it brah" won't kick me into action.
Autism? The fact that you are aware of it it shows that you can change those things though. Literally everything you mentioned is changeable. The hardest one is the stutter, but I don’t think that’s a deal breaker for most women,
I wish I could go back to my 20yo self and tell myself to stop self-pitying as NOW is the time to change before its too late and I get too set in my ways
because by now the habits are too deeply ingrained
like I know logically what's wrong with my thought patterns and behaviour but pushing back against it just takes too much energy because I have to use 2x the processing power of my brain to play supervisor for myself
If its any comfort your 20s self probably wasnt susceptible to this advice regardless. The real behaviour patterns set in and easily change in early teens.
And for further comfort most of what you did then was highly susceptible to external factors and luck.
For any trucels here, even tho career is cope i feel at the very least i have something somewhat meaningful to do 40 hours a week. Dont be NEET incel thats a recipe for very early suicide
Good advice. As a non incel, I’ve gone a few months without work and every time I’ve become insanely anxious and depressed after a week. The first week rules but then I just get in my own head, I start getting health anxiety and shit
I'm in the awkward spot where the only career that interests me is something creative but these fields are SUPER COMPETITIVE and as a life long NEET I just lack the drive, youth and experience to compete.
I cant give you good advice there but what about AI? It feels like with AI now the playing field has been somewhat equalized on a ton of different subjects like coding and arts, that the barrier to entry and be competitive is much lower
ynr the woman who was a track athlete, lawyer, tv personality, beauty queen with the extremely bubbly personality who was always smiling and made everyone laugh who committed suicide at 30 because she turned 30 as a woman without kids or a family and literally wrote an essay saying how worthless it made her
its related to this thread because shes a tv personality
Generally speaking, women have a good social life, even if they dont have kids and a pardner. They also much more easily make friends.
Men on the other hand have to get that shit sorter in their 20s because afterwards it almost never gets better
Generally speaking, women have a good social life, even if they dont have kids and a pardner. They also much more easily make friends.
Men on the other hand have to get that shit sorter in their 20s because afterwards it almost never gets better
remote job never going out
once in a while matching on tinder with girl of my dreams
writing her that she is cute and we seem to have something in common
she never replies back
Simple as
Its bluepilled as frick to think you can just "go out" and because you have "friends" or something sex is inevitable for you
Never happens. Only for gl people
3 more
-2. No fricks given.
It's genuinely where I'm at. Call it cope. I really think at some point some people just stop caring. Fun to talk about though.
https://archive.4plebs.org/tv/search/image/DTxiwE3kKV%2BBo%2F0cG6OWoQ%3D%3D/page/1/
>4plebs is moving
>Come back later
>ridiculous premise is now an impending reality for at least a third of young American males
Any more examples of this?
I thought most guys had at least a few girlfriends or sex by the time they were like 30. If I had to guess maybe like 5% at most would be virgins at 40
Here in Sweden about 95% have lost their virginity by 25. 99% by 30. Those are the official statistics.
Being incel beyond 30 is insanely rare. You can imagien what type of mental subhuman i am
based on what people say. the older you get the more you probably feel pressured to lie, even if you are still a virgin.
Ive lied my entire life since i was 15 or so. Im 26 now. Nowadays nobody asks me anymore, im pretty sure i give off massive virgin vibes.
There was a new guy with a wife and children who im somewhat close to, we like to banter. And he started to eye women and talk about how hot they are and i just lose my conversational aptitude and just become quiet and "giggle". Its fricking cringe
Yeah thats why people can tell idiot lol. If a group of guys are talking about pussy and you clam up or offer super vague comments that indicate you have no experience, no shit its gonna be obvious you're a virgin.
I don't know why you guys don't just lean into being a virgin. If you can own it in sort of a goofy way people will like you and other dudes will actually try to get you laid. I've known two guys like that and they both eventually got laid through other guys helping them and setting them up.
Ive been fake my entire life, and i mostly dont have a personality. I am a husk of a man unironically
>Yeah thats why people can tell idiot lol. If a group of guys are talking about pussy and you clam up or offer super vague comments that indicate you have no experience, no shit its gonna be obvious you're a virgin.
Schopenhauer was right about solitude, most people are animals catering to their primal desires.
Lmao, implying these fools who can't even wipe their own shitty arses properly know who Schopenhauer is.
We shall work to educate them.
You can only "own it" maybe as a young adult, and it will still be seen as pathetic from most people then as well, women especially. By the time you reach 30 you can't "own it" no more, in fact you're quite literally better off lying even though most people know.
An adult clueless virgin who was never in any kind of relationship is a gigantic red flag to most of society.
This is how i feel about it. Real life is not the movie in OP. People are judgemental as frick and letting the office know you're a 30 yo KHHV is the fastest way to brand yourself a creep
Yeah I guess it doesn't work at 30 but I knew a kid who was 24 and would goofily lament about being a virgin around the boys. Eventually someone got him laid which then opened the door to an absolute windfall of pushy for him somehow. He has a double digit body count now.
Sounds like a neurotypical person who was just very unlucky and kept trying. Most KHHV are mentalcels who never tried. Those arent exactly the type of people to be goofy about their virginity, especially if they're kinda emotionless all the time anyways
Nah he had more of an aspie personality where he literally would just say anything without embarrassment, thats probably why he never felt ashamed about being a virgin and would just openly talk and complain about it.
It isn't even strictly about penis in vegana, I'd bet that dude you're talking about has had some past experiences with girls be it kissing or light relationships just that he never actually went all the way.
People don't really care did you insert your penis in a vegana, but they definitely will treat you way differently if they know you have never been in any kind of relationship. Most people often talk about their gf/bf/husband/wife and if you never have anything to add it shows quickly
>Most people often talk about their gf/bf/husband/wife and if you never have anything to add it shows quickly
This is the most infuriating part for me. What few friends I do have and coworkers babble incessantly about their partner and kids. It's all they can talk about.
Its because it what makes worth living. It makes my suffering so much more.
Everyone with kids talk about how its the reason they keep going and what brings them happyness. And i know if i had my own little kid i would feel the same way, the urge is very strong.
Working on the career has proven to be a failed strategy for happyness. Dont get me wrong im happy i have a career rather than not having a career, but i would swap it out in an instant for a family of my own.
Yeah, I agree that career is cope, unless you are literally out there revolutionizing shit or making world changing discoveries. People at the end of their lives almost universally say that what mattes is friends and family, and what they regret was work.
Really as a young guy there are two socially acceptable options personality-wise. You can either give off the young, carefree partier vibe in which case it's fine if you don't talk about relationships. Or you can be the more serious, "mature" relationship guy. If you don't fit either of those molds you will be looked down on. I'm guessing the issue with most people here is they have the serious personality but without a girlfriend or any romantic experience which makes people think you're a weirdo. Especially in an office environment.
Black person, who cares?
I can win a 1 Vs 1 any of my work colleagues, you think I care they know I have zero experience with women?
I'm already going to be unable to afford retirement, why in hell would I want an aging hole too?
if it's really that important for someone, I'm sure they can get a prostitute
At 27 I was backpacking Australia 2 months and ended up in Byron's Bay for schoolies which is their highschool graduation partying. Was just chilling after starting to sunburn and some guys invited me to a party so hung out with them for a few hours in apartment they rented. Neighbour girls were there hanging out. After a few hours of drinking everyone goes out to walk down to a club or something and the streets are full of people partying. Anyway they mention the one kid is still a virgin so I say I am so they won't bother the guy and the two girls start yelling at strangers trying to set me up. I just noped the frick out since it meant the ones I'd actually been around weren't interested.
After this I had two months of traveling to talk about which any woman is going to listen to. I talked someone out of killing themself and confidence peaked granting my wizard powers. I spent years talking to women online as my main hobby. Eventually I went to meet one and she had a wedding ring on. Haven't cared about women since. The only two people I would even consider friends are women, and I talked to them last in December.
The problem with any advice to get women is once you see behind the curtain you don't want them.
i think if you frick escort at least few times, and then you tell people you are virigin every time topic comes up, they will most likely not even believe that , and then you are winner either way. Either they dont believe you and your are uber ironic jokestermaxxing 30yo fake virgin, really funny
Or they believe you but barely and there is still massive chance you are lying to them. And they will help you get laid.
Honnestly there is not downside to admitting you are virgin - if you fricked escort few times and actually have some confidence cause you did some things in your life
>Honnestly there is not downside to admitting you are virgin
stop saying absolute garbage
in fact there is nothing positive to admitting you're a virgin in 99% of situations
>massive virgin vibes
what the frick does this even mean? my friend didnt lose his virginity until 29 and honestly if you told me he was still a virgin id believe you. the fricker is still the exact same person, he still "clams" up when sex is brought up because why the frick does anyone wanna hear that shit or about your experiences? maybe some really vague shit but dudes who go into specific details about their sexual encounters are most likely liars anyways. its like those guys who unironically claim they have a massive dick, like sure buddy
I cant say for sure if i give off virgin vibes. But I would guess i do
I thought Sweden was full of ethnics
60% of 30 year old men have never had a relationship.
Interesting that the less white America gets, the more the incel problem rises. Also interesting that if you actually go to incel websites and hear them talk 90% of them are Asians or some type of black or brown who spend all day crying that white women wont frick them
They have a thing called JBW theory - Just Be White Theory, that says being a white incel is cope
I somewhat agree, you can always geomaxx in south east asia or south america
But still, mental problems will hurt a person regardless of whether they are white, asian, or black.
I agree. There are some white incels who are truly genetic abominations, but that’s like 1% of the incels. The other 99% are just so fricking mentally ill, and if they weren’t they could even score fine white women if they just acted cool and funny and groomed themselves just a bit. Seriously go outside, you’ll find the ugliest white dudes with fine girls because they are mentally put together and have a good personality
It should be a white pill for incels to realize that men are actually much more superficial then women, we ONLY care about attractiveness, whereas women do actually care about personality and popularity, and looks. Like you have multiplied different avenues to score. A woman and you don’t need all three of those things, just one.
The issue is mental problems isnt something you can fix. Especially if you’re over 25 and neuroplasticity is all but settled. You are who you are after 25 in like 95% of cases
Is it really this grim? I don’t enough about this to dispute it, but all I know is that it definitely seems like 95% of people don’t and will never change their core personality and mental makeup, but I feel like I did. I went from an awkward teenager to someone who can be popular with normies in my 20’s.
Yea im talking statistically obviously, not saying its impossible
Caring about looks as an ethnic is a death sentence the ones with low standards don't become incels
I am 29 years old and I never even kissed a girl
You’re LYING! YOU’RE A FRICKING LYING LIAR WHO LIIIEEES!
I wish I was lying
Oh. Well it’s never too late I suppose
32 next week and i have not touched the skin of another human being for 12 years
Surely you've shaken a hand once or twice? Or do you mean non-hand skin?
Allright fair, guess I have shaken a few hands during that time. Other than handshakes then.
Damn you're killing it dude
massive thug shaker energy
Honestly I'd knock that c**t out with one punch
some reverse it and add virtual insanity to it
I got laid once in my life at age 30, AMA!
How much was it?
>days without making this exact same thread:
>0
>age
>body count
># of serious relationships
go
25
4
1
29
0
0
Literally me
25
0
1 (she's unironically a virgin and waiting for marriage idk how I lucked out)
>body count
># of serious relationships
why post this in a virgin thread? zero zero wow what a surprise I know
30
3
0
44
0
0
brother, how did this happen to you
It is what it is. I'm no longer interested in sex. I stopped jerking off a few years ago. If anyone directly ask if I'm a virgin, I just say the truth. I've stopped caring.
My male acquaintances/co-workers that know get these horrified looks on their faces when I acknowledge the obvious. They genuinely seem to be upset and some just tell me to get a hooker. I'll never get a hooker. Im actually very sensitive. I believe that I would be spiritually destroyed if I paid a hooker to lose my virginity.
We have the same attitude on the prostitute option, but I have a very hard time believing that you've eliminated masturbation altogether. I'm just shy of 40 and about 2-3 years ago the libido came roaring back out of nowhere. I'm glad that you're able to mindbreak normies (this implies that you're not too bad looking, that would probably make the dissonance that much worse for them), but in all seriousness if you're being honest about the no masturbation detail, this may imply some form of major depression.
Throughout my early/mid-30s I psychologically relegated masturbation to the office of a necessary bodily function to be done with as quickly as possible so I can get back to what I actually want to be doing, on the same level as urination and defecation.
>27
>3
>1
32
3
1
I lost it early but man, I'm really not good for casual encounters.
>33
>30+
>2 long term serious relationships, 10ish short-lived "flings"
29
2 + 1 who i fricked for like 2 minutes before losing my boner unfortunately and didn't cum
2
>27
>0
>0, never got a phone number, never been kissed
I read romance fiction to satiate myself
>32
>1
>2
21
13
3
wraith
0
0
Looking back now: I was 26 when I first lived on my own (no family or housemates) and didn't buy a double bed. I must have somehow known there was no hope for me.
The double bed thing is just a meme from that Houellebecq book/movie
27
3
1
28
0
0 (kissless handholdless)
34
0
0
wow he's just like me
26
0
0
>20
>4
>0
I thought I'd be a virge forever. 2 of them were really hot too, like 8/10. Life is good
>27
>1
>1
>32
>35
>3
After my ex wife divorced me something snapped and I spent 10 hours a day working on getting hookups to match what her body count was within 3 months. After that I calmed down and haven't felt the same desire since.
31
Approx 90
3
My bloodline will likely end with me, I haven't hooked up regularly with women since college and that was maybe 1 new partner per month on average, which is very possible for anyone when you abuse drugs.
I cannot justify marriage at this point
31
0
0
I've never even been on a date or even asked a girl out. I went to college, still never talked to anyone. I've never made a dating profile.
I've been a loser for my entire life so I've never had the social opportunities to meet women. Even the small handful of women over my life who have shown interest in me, I never did anything out of the shame of my pathetic life, because I have exactly zero other life accomplishments as well
I hope I gain the courage to commit suicide sometime this year.
Bejita
Mexico
28
0
0
I don't mind being a virgin as I would not have intercourse outside of a serious relationship anyways. To that end, I filter out unsuitable candidates by talking about middle eastern geopolitics whenever I first talk with chicks. Those who are able to keep up the conversation are always taken.
22
1
3
I had two girlfriends who I was way too timid to ever go all the way with. Fricked number 3 two weeks after we started dating. I got to try everything I’ve ever wanted with her.We broke up and I’m scared that’s as good as it will ever get for me since I haven’t gotten laid in 8 months
His flashbacks show that he did have the opportunity to have sex but he was awkward and clumsy which is he why never pulled it off before.
This isn't a mean-spirited movie. His coworkers were actually being bros to him by trying to get him laid. Carrel's character was a guy who was content with his life. He kept himself in shape, had a nice apartment on a job in a home goods chain, spent his money on collectibles and stuff he enjoyed, and wasn't a hideous basement troll with a hateful attitude.
I dont think most incels are basement dwellers with hateful attitude. Maybe they are self-hating but thats natural considering their condition. Its actually impressive by Carrells character that he kept up his spirits and was honest about his condition with others around him. Its a dying gen X/millenial breed. I highly doubt that will happen with zoomers
Yeah anyone before in 1990 and onwards is kinda fricked in the dating/sexual market. I remember way back when I saw this movie the summer I graduated high school one of my autist buddies managed to lose his virginity coincidentally. He was a big dude (6'4) and strong as an ox. But he didn't have game. Our mutual buddy was this suave Latino dude who was only 5'7 and helped him build his confidence in asking a girl out.
>Its actually impressive by Carrells character that he kept up his spirits and was honest about his condition with others around him.
It's why The 40 Year Old Virgin is a very good comedy/drama. He's a refreshing look at social recluse whose a bit awkward and dorky, but he DID have opportunities to lay with a woman, but he was looking for a quality relationship and not just a smash-and-dash or taking advantage of drunk or emotionally vulnerable women.
Not a virgin but I haven't gotten laid for years after I was 27 and went to a wedding. It's just that the grind of work and everyday life just burns you out and you can't party and drink like you used to.
A guy in my junior year of undergrad was one of those hardcore Christian types and was a virgin. And he was actually decent-looking and in shape, but he insisted on keeping himself "pure" for his future wife. A couple of the hot bawds on campus wanted to pop his cherry because he was a challenge to them.
>Taking advantage of drunk
>Or ~~*"emotionally vulnerable"*~~ women
1. Will get you prison time
2. Will also get you prison time the second the bawd regrets it
I really wish I could reach through the screen and strangle your geriatric, boomer ass.
I'd bukkk break you too, of course.
that probably describes most virgins past the mid twenties. they don't actively pursue women and are maybe quite asocial. so the situation where sex could happen just never develops, because they don't seek it out, and lord knows women do not pursue anyone but the chads.
Temperance is the most important virtue it them all, no wonder westernsociety keeps reporting ever growing depression rates.
These threads are pure evil, it's like a black hole of soul consuming ill intended thoughts and ideologies, humanity is a mistake and nany sane man should strive for a discontinuation of the madness.
Thanks Rust.
Would you bros lose it to an ugly sheboon? I'd rather lay down and rot
no i would not, and i also believe "just get a hooker" is absolute bait and likely to do much more harm than good.
I read several times anons say "i lost my virginity to a hooker and saw its not a big deal and was cured of my inceldom"
I already know sex itself is not a big deal. Everything else is the problem.
i guess people are different, but atleast for me, the sex holds no mystery, but the process of arriving at the sex is what matters.
Meet a drunk bawd at a bar
Make small talk for like 5 minutes.
Ask for her number/snapchat. If she thinks you're attractive she'll give it to you.
The next morning, ask how her night ended up. Then ask her out on a date later in the week.
After the date there is like a 70% chance she'll frick you depending on how loose she truly is. If not she will frick you if you go out with her 2-3 more times, guaranteed. Or you can move on.
Thats how I've always done it, never even bothered with the apps honestly but I have friends who do and it seems even easier there. No idea how you guys struggle so much.
>Meet a drunk bawd at a bar
>Make small talk for like 5 minutes.
See you're a neurotypical sex haver so these two things are automatic non events for you, while for an adult virgin these two things are absolute alien territory.
Might as well say just go find a dragon in the wild and then fly on it through clouds.
The only real prerequisite is to have friends. You need friends to actually be in social gatherings in the first place. Which I guess might be hard for some of you. But from there it is literally just small talk and then blind luck that she actually finds you attractive. And then having the balls to make the move. Not that difficult. I have no idea how you could function a career if you lack the social skill to talk to a woman and then ask for her phone number.
You have to be lucky to get hired. As a neurodivergent autist its even harder. There are niches obviously, FAANG companies want those, but thats an extremly limited amount of jobs. Most others have to just get lucky to get hired. If you have a few years experience it doesnt really matter after that, there will always be a job on you based on resume alone
We recently hired an extremly outgoing rookie over a more experienced but more quiet and reserved person. Both women. It just confirmed to me how humans operate. And it does make sense, people value that people who you are going to spend 40 hours per week with are somewhat social
I already have friends. I have absolutely no idea how to small talk with a girl though
>how you could function a career if you lack the social skill to talk to a woman and then ask for her phone number.
Pretty easy, you don't need to know how to flirt or show sexual interest in order to be a good coworker.
Small talk with women is literally just playing 20 questions. Ask where she's from. Ask what she does. Ask where she went to school and what she studied. Ask how she met her friends and how long they've known each other. Its not rocket science.
I have no problem with regular talking with pretty much anyone. The issue is in getting anywhere past mere talking
Well then from there literally just ask for your number. If she thinks you're attractive she'll give it to you. That's it. Be simple and direct, just say you think she's cute and you'd like to get her number and take her out.
Ask how she'd feel if she hadn't eaten breakfast.
so what? You have to go out to even have chance for small talk tho
>have friends
>they're all social morons like me
guess I'm out
I'm trying my best, i got a job, i go to the gym, i'm trying to be sociable and i'm in love with a girl, if i don't lose my v-card this year i will just give up
don't make a woman the whole focus of your life, improve yourself for YOU not for anyone else especially modern day women. Godspeed Anon ,I was in your shoes once and I am much richer and happier now.
This is a bit of a catch 20 when ultimately this is just fake advice. Same bullshit gymbros tell themselves. They do it to mate with a woman and have a family. But to not be depressed and hurt their chances they tell themselves such lies.
Its good if it works but some of us are too cynical to fully believe it
fair enough, I can relate to that sentiment. As men we obviously want/need women and to have families, but israelite homosexualry/feminism ruined it. Which leaves us with the mgtow/live your life on your own terms approach that works for a lot of us. Either best of luck to you.
>mgtow
That shit is cringe but I do feel there's some merit to their attitude on focusing within.
It's a shit world we live in now. You just have to make the best of it. We only have 1 life to live and we shouldn't be negative and nihilistic.
Mgtow is pure cope.
>you won’t give me pussy? Fine I never wanted it anyway!!!!!!
It is cope, but after perusing through some of their chats, the non-incel ones are usually guys who are awake to the fact that this is a clown world or got fricked over in the past by their wives/girlfriends.
The ones that have sour grapes and go monk mode are absolute tools, but the ones that advocate physical well-being, mental improvement, pursuing hobbies and interests, and living a happy fulfilling life have some good advice and perspectives.
I see that, I think they have some good ideas but I think they hate women too much. I think women act how they do because 90% of men are soi cuck man children. The societies of my ancestors had no problems with women because they were strong men, and they didn’t have to abuse women or make them wear hijabs either.
The true redpill take it is realizing women are children, and if you hate them for that, you’re a loser who fell for egalitirarianism and you’re mad women aren’t acting equal to a man.
I don't get the hate towards women. I've encountered a few nasty b***hes but it doesn't make me snarky towards females.
I mean it's kinda fricked up how women are camwhoring themselves or selling feet pics on Onlyfans while some of us are busting our asses in the office or field. I was at a club a couple years back to celebrate my bro getting engaged and I overheard some thots talking about how they made 20 grand in a month for just wearing a towel and giggling to stupid cucks throwing their money at them.
Sometimes you just gotta shrug and say frick it, nothing you can do but keep your head down and not fall for that bullshit.
I do feel that since women pushed for the narrative that they're equal to men that they damned well better act like men in terms of performance and ethics. You can't have it both ways
what is going on with Cinemaphile today? what's with all these reasonable posts?
Yes i 100% agree. I do hate women who are prostitutes and bawds and feminists but I’ve met tons of cool women irl, and like I said, I don’t view women as equal to me so I don’t sperg out and cry when I do meet some crazy women, the same way I don’t hate all kids. And again, comparing them to modern men, I feel pretty favorable toward women.
>I don't get the hate towards women. I've encountered a few nasty b***hes but it doesn't make me snarky towards females.
you're only experiencing that on Cinemaphile. i also get quite annoyed with the hate for women on here especially the double standards the women hating guys here have. im not a simp or anything like that, and i also dont blame women for me being a 30 yo kissless virgin because i provide nothing of value to any of them.
People keep saying "cope" like a zinger but is there really something wrong with coping?
Not saying it’s right or wrong to cope but it’s a fact. There is truth vs cope and mgtow is def cope even if somewhat useful to some people.
I’d say some cope is fine for your health, but if you’re core philosophical life tenants are just cope, that’s an issue and you’re a person hiding from truth and living in lies, and if you’re an atheist who just sees humans as advanced animals or whatever I guess that’s cool to you, but I personally am not into that.
Coping is actually great. I wish i wasnt as cynical as i am. If you can successfully cope all the more to you. In the end, comparison is the thief of joy, and i truly think if i was less analyzing and like 30 less IQ points id be happier
Extreme high iq can be quite dysgenic. Most of the crazy geniuses of history were really lonely fricked up mental cases. I really think I’m probably average iq but just somewhat wise
You underestimate your IQ. The average IQ on Cinemaphile is already for sure a std above the population mean
To sidetrack about your dysgen is point. I read an interesting theory before that humanity almost ”naturally”, and i guess other species too, produce these types of dysgenic people. The alleged benefit of this would be that in more extreme circumstances these people would be able to somehow adapt more easily and reproduce, carrying the genome forward. Idk how true that is but i see some merit to it.
That’s a super interesting theory and definitely makes sense. It really is a weird thing how some people just come out as super geniuses naturally even if their parents were normal.
that women becoming free ruined it for men is pretty damning for men.
Men are used to being alone. We're told to buck up and just deal with shit while girls get coddled.
Life doesn't improve, we just realize that the deck is stacked against us since birth and you have to make do and soldier on.
You workout because you want to be healthy. You don't do it to impress girls or anyone but yourself. You achieve academic merit because it benefits your career prospects and scholarly pursuits. You attain financial gains because you're still young and able to work hard because there's gonna come a point when you can't anymore.
Don't sink into a pit of despair and self-loathing. Who the frick cares if you don't get laid or have a relationship. You can't expect a woman to love you if you can't even love yourself. Nobody is going to care about you or work for your achievements but you.
Is being an indifferentcel a thing?
I don't care about being a virgin. When I get horny I just jerk off and move on. The effort for me that is required to have sex doesn't seem worth it. Honestly I'm not sure I would even do it if I was a "Chad" because of the risk of STDs and potential drama.
Being indifferent is most likely a cope. You really have no urge to be in a relationship? Have kids?
Not that anon, but I understand what he means. Everybody would like to have a loving wife, but for some of us the motivation or drive to actively seek it just isn't there. So we remain adult virgins till death
my biggest problem right now is just being too lazy to do anything but browse the internet all day. relationship worries dont even enter my mind right now. it's like how someone who is struggling to pay rent isn't thinking about how he can't afford that sports car
maybe I'm too naive but I feel like if I got out there, engaged in some productive hobby, went to some hobby-related events, got a job, started to take care of myself physically and mentally a relationship would come by itself
Not him but I've genuinely never wanted to get married or to have kids. I also don't want to go into debt, not even for the purpose of building equity in a house. I don't believe in debt. Of course, women, especially middle aged women, are going to insist on at least one of those three things, otherwise they feel (from their point of view) that there's no point in the relationship. They get frustrated because they compare themselves with others who have at least one of those three things (or all three) and feel themselves to be the losers.
When I was in my early 20s, two friends got married within a few weeks of each other. Both weddings were fun but privately I said to myself "statistically, one of these two guys is gonna be divorced in the next ten years." And sure enough.
At the most I would want a sort of frickbuddy relationship in some very tiny, affordable house... and then that's it. Nothing changes. I wouldn't tire of such a (theoretical) arrangement, but the other partner inevitably would. And no, I don't care what happens to me when I get old and no one younger than me (a child) genuinely cares about me, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. But what I won't do is play ball. Even if I were in a position of some bargaining power I still wouldn't want a kid.
>statistically, one of these two guys is gonna be divorced in the next ten years." And sure enough.
I keep hearing this from incels (i am incel myself) but this just screams cope. I dont know why some incels keep thinking this is a gatcha. Mgtow types are even more moronic about this.
Yes a divorce happens but they had some wonderful years with tons of memories. More than likely they had kids that will keep giving them happyness. And most divorced people remarry.
Whereas an incel coping with a career and working out is a husk. There is nothing to that life. Its shallow, boring, unfulfilling. Whereas those people who got married and then divorced have at the very least LIVED
>Whereas those people who got married and then divorced have at the very least LIVED
I'm pretty sure most divorced men would disagree with you since a divorce in most cases is like going all in an investment for years and years only to get rugpulled in the end.
But you're right on the fact that us virgins cope with risk and statistics since we're so afraid to leave our comfort zone in most life departments.
Most divorces dont end in divorce rapes. Thats another massive cope from incels and mgtows. Most end amicably and somewhat peaceful. You have to remember housewives have not been a thing for a long time now. The woman also makes money these days, so the degree of asset loss is really not that high except in exceptional cases
I was not even talking about le divorce rapes, but quite literally investing your entire life into something which then falls apart completely. You talk about it as if just two friends splitting up and that's it
>But you're right on the fact that us virgins cope with risk and statistics since we're so afraid to leave our comfort zone in most life departments.
This is also fair, and it does accurately describe me. But still. Fifty fricking percent. Like, African American, what the frick are you doing. For homosexual men, the simple sex act also carries massive STD risks, maybe not on the order of fifty percent, but there's a lot of gays walking around with at least one nasty disease.
If there's some major risk like five, ten, even twenty percent. Maybe go for it. Maybe the reward is worth it. But jesus.
Marriage is supposed to last for life. It doesn't need to be an idealized "love marriage" (this expectation has been harmful in the west in itself), but it is and has historically been a lifelong arrangement for biological and sociological reproduction. Today, marriage is an incredibly stupid gamble in the present environment, and all the barriers and incentives to keep married couples together have been largely destroyed or even reversed.
You're right that there's some sour grapes involved on my end, but you are painting a VERY rosy, idealized picture of divorce. So much so, that I suspect that you're a woman. Divorce is extremely painful for men and then they keep paying on top of that.
I also reject your premise that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. the truth is plainly the reverse. Especially when you lose the sexual access and you are forced to keep paying anyway, a double injury and therefore a net negative. Even the "happy memories" themselves become painful (on the contrary of what you're trying to say) because it's in the past and you can't have it the same way anymore.
I get what you're saying. We have no idea what goes on behind closed doors and when the pictures/videos of these smiling happy families aren't taken, but all of my friends and neighbors seem to have stable marriages. The wives (some are also my friends) have jobs that they enjoy, are good mothers to the kids, and treat the husbands well. My boys are all hard-working attentive dads and husbands from the way it looks. There's no perfect marriage, but it looks like everyone involved works hard and strives to do their best.
I agree in the past they used to be amicable and there's still a good amount of them that are this way. But when you read news articles about how something like 20-30% of men find out their kids are not theirs or how women and men cheat, it makes you a bit wary.
No one with a job is a good mother.
My 2 female friends who got married are both intelligent and passionate about their pursuits. 1 is a counselor while having 3 sons and the other is a teacher with a daughter. They still spend plenty of times raising their kids as well as helping people in their respective careers.
LOL, there's a lot of reasonable level-headed anons here. Not everyone is a basement-dwelling troll without friends or never kissed a female on a date.
Well Cassie is literally the sister I never had and she genuinely means what she says. And you're right that married men are work mules because they have to provide for themselves and their families. Glad you were fortunate to have a mom and dad of upstanding qualities; that's going to become a rarity soon.
This thread is actually comfy and I'm currently rewatching The 40 Year Old Virgin since it's on Tubi. I don't get the demoralization posts here.
My childhood friend got married last year. She's practically my sister and she asked me why I wasn't going to find a good woman to marry. I told her some of the reasons you said about debt as well as I can't be bothered with dealing with someone else when I need to get my own issues in order. She told me a good woman in my life will bring out the best in me and will challenge me to break out of conformity. She's one of the few females I absolutely trust because we grew up together and she doesn't act like these typical ditzes and prostitutes. I appreciate her advice, but I think she's too conditioned into thinking that the world is like the 90's and 00's that we grew up in when things still made sense.
Yeah it does sound very black-pilled and defeatist to think like that. However, it's a very scary fact that 50% of marriages in the US end up in divorce and at least 3/4 of the time, it's the woman that initiates it.
You say that it's better to have lived and suffered than live with regret? One of my bosses got divorce-raped (also found out that 2 eldest kids aren't actually his yet he still has to pay child support because he's listed as the dad, the youngest 2 are his thankfully). He was literally a man in defeat, if he didn't have his 2 youngest kids to worry about, he probably would've committed suicide.
All of my friends that I've known since public school and college (been to nearly all of their weddings too as well as attended the days their kids were born) have solid stable marriages. One of them admittedly married a former party girl who was very smart enough to clean up her image (I found old pics of her on Myspace where she was making out with 2-3 guys or with girls, getting shit-faced drunk, wearing thongs and other bawd behavior), but she is a good mom to her kids. And my buddy loves his son and daughter and spoils them emotionally as well as financially.
So is this just a meme? Or were my friends lucky?
>You say that it's better to have lived and suffered than live with regret? One of my bosses got divorce-raped (also found out that 2 eldest kids aren't actually his yet he still has to pay child support because he's listed as the dad, the youngest 2 are his thankfully). He was literally a man in defeat, if he didn't have his 2 youngest kids to worry about, he probably would've committed suicide.
This is obviously NOT how divorces normally happens. And yes, being cucked would make a lot of men kill themselves. In that particular case the marriage was not worth it
But can you really say the same is true for the average divorce? Be honest now
"Bring out the best in (you)" is just a euphemism for "I (Woman, in general) will "inspire" you (Man, in general) to earn more money in order to maintain your routine sexual access to me." As a representative of all womanhood, her instinct kicked in and she tried to market the product to you with a euphemism. And the sick thing is, it works. Married men/family men are well-documented to be higher earners, because they have something "worth working for". But on the grand scheme it's still a base transactional money-for-sex exchange. Prostitution on the societal level. The Onion has an excellent old piece which skewers this very fact:
https://www.theonion.com/housewife-charged-in-sex-for-security-scam-1819567920
Ironically, my own parents have been in a loving, stable marriage for over 40 years, so I have first hand experience of what a good one looks like (mutual trust and honesty, complementary skills, etc). But I had to learn through other avenues that it isn't the norm, at least not anymore.
im more and more thinking that recent times have been a complete mask off moment for male identity and masculinity. it seems to be so wholly defined by things outside the man, by what he can do for a wife or a family, what job he has and his role as a provider. as you say, married men do better in almost all areas; income, health, average life expectancy etc. it's also not uncommon for men to completely crash and burn if they get divorced. we can joke about toxic masculinity, but i think there is a lot of truth in that men need to figure out a new way forward.
The thing is, you dont really define masculinity abstractly, or derive it philosophically. It just is what it is. We have certain natural insticts and we clump those together that generally fits for most men and call that masculinity. It so happens that what we naturally provide coincides with what we have basically made abundant. There is no reason for women to get a man other than intimacy and his sperm today. His resources and providing skills are no longer really necessary.
No amount of talking about ”what is a man really” will change that dynamix
Women raised the standard by becoming free to pursue their own educations, careers and incomes, and since women generally do not date down, this has left a lot of men shit out of luck as you say. It's leading to more single men (especially in more rural areas) and more single women (especially in cities), which is making both miserable. Something's gotta give.
I think its pretty obvious men are the bottleneck, unlike what most on Cinemaphile will tell you.
I do agree with femcels generally speaking, that the value proposition from men today is very low. Just being an office drone bringing in a slightly above average wage doesnt really change a womans life much
It's mostly cope, but I know exactly what you're saying. The motivation to actively seek a partner just isn't there, or at least it isn't strong enough to make you act on it.
Basically pic related.
I think I'm pretty ok looking (I've been called handsome before by girls who weren't family members) but I just have no idea how to initiate a relationship or have sex. I just sort of coast through life thinking "oh, I'll get a gf naturally one day" but for my entire adult life it hasn't happened.
Do you guys ever think that sex/relationships are just the result of luck and being in the right place, with the right people, at the right time?
>inb4 "those girls lied, you're actually just ugly!"
Look, I might not be a male model, but I know FAR uglier dudes who've gotten laid and had relationships. My appearance isn't the problem
Unless you're insanely attractive i.e pic rel, no woman will approach you.
You need to download dating apps or ask a woman out. Otherwise its never happening for average or even above average men
Sounds pathetic, like you're begging to be inside someone.
Thats human mating rituals. If you consider it pathetic you are selected out, unless a woman who also thinks its pathetic and happens to seek you out happens. But again, chances are extremly slim
O rly, and who sets the rules God or just plain randomness?
You'll have to go back to the first split in evolution where genders started being a thing. It was for sure before mammals though, every mammal works the same way
>Sounds pathetic, like you're begging to be inside someone.
I know exactly what you mean, which is why things like flirting feels so turbocringe to me. As if you have to put on some desperate pretend act just to maybe insert your dick into a pussy.
The thing is other guys don't give a shit about how it feels and just do it even though it might end up pathetic, while we just fear of cringe till death
Women don't initiate unless you are 11/10 and/or have lots of money. If you don't have the confidence then its 100% over
And the thing is even if women approach you those are not the kind of women you want to wife up. Even the biggest Chad on the planet still has to be the one who makes the first move if he wants an actual quality girl, because that quality girl sure won't be approaching men around
I'm like a 6 or 7 out of 10 and I'm short (5'8") and I have had several women either approach me themselves or send their friends over to approach me on their behalf.
They were all pretty mid tbh but still, women will approach. Really hot girls won't but cute to average ones will.
>Search celibacy on google
>Lots of biased articles stating how bad it is for you
I wonder why would they do this?
Is it because people who have control over themselves are less susceptible to propaganda?
>another demoralization thread
We see what you're doing, no one is fooled
How do you turn moralizing into action?
I watched a movie that left me really motivated to stop living life on auto pilot and start taking control only to next day wake up and go back to my routine.
People posting "we're all going to make it brah" won't kick me into action.
>not a virgin
>lie and tell people I'm a virgin
i don't know why i do this, it's funny
It works because its not believable and you know it
yeah this
same how someone with a big dick can talk how small his penis is all day no problem, someone with a micropenis not so much
Literally my life
Autism? The fact that you are aware of it it shows that you can change those things though. Literally everything you mentioned is changeable. The hardest one is the stutter, but I don’t think that’s a deal breaker for most women,
I wish I could go back to my 20yo self and tell myself to stop self-pitying as NOW is the time to change before its too late and I get too set in my ways
Eh you can change any time in your 20s honestly. 30 is when it really is too late.
The world is so bad by 20 you are dysfunctional
I assume you arent posting from a retirement home somewhere, so why can't you change now?
because by now the habits are too deeply ingrained
like I know logically what's wrong with my thought patterns and behaviour but pushing back against it just takes too much energy because I have to use 2x the processing power of my brain to play supervisor for myself
If its any comfort your 20s self probably wasnt susceptible to this advice regardless. The real behaviour patterns set in and easily change in early teens.
And for further comfort most of what you did then was highly susceptible to external factors and luck.
We made excuses when we were 20 and we make excuses now.
liar liar is one of my favorites
I'm to blame for my failure, a girl literally put her pussy in my face and I still didn't do anything after that. There is no longer any salvation.
For any trucels here, even tho career is cope i feel at the very least i have something somewhat meaningful to do 40 hours a week. Dont be NEET incel thats a recipe for very early suicide
Good advice. As a non incel, I’ve gone a few months without work and every time I’ve become insanely anxious and depressed after a week. The first week rules but then I just get in my own head, I start getting health anxiety and shit
I'm in the awkward spot where the only career that interests me is something creative but these fields are SUPER COMPETITIVE and as a life long NEET I just lack the drive, youth and experience to compete.
I cant give you good advice there but what about AI? It feels like with AI now the playing field has been somewhat equalized on a ton of different subjects like coding and arts, that the barrier to entry and be competitive is much lower
ynr the woman who was a track athlete, lawyer, tv personality, beauty queen with the extremely bubbly personality who was always smiling and made everyone laugh who committed suicide at 30 because she turned 30 as a woman without kids or a family and literally wrote an essay saying how worthless it made her
its related to this thread because shes a tv personality
Generally speaking, women have a good social life, even if they dont have kids and a pardner. They also much more easily make friends.
Men on the other hand have to get that shit sorter in their 20s because afterwards it almost never gets better
Whom is it
https://www.allure.com/story/cheslie-kryst-miss-usa-on-turning-30
why do you normalgays even come here
you're all so boring and unfunny
remote job never going out
once in a while matching on tinder with girl of my dreams
writing her that she is cute and we seem to have something in common
she never replies back
Simple as
Its bluepilled as frick to think you can just "go out" and because you have "friends" or something sex is inevitable for you
Never happens. Only for gl people