>You are expelled from Hogwarts for using magic in front of a muggle

>You are expelled from Hogwarts for using magic in front of a muggle
Said the floating talking envelope in front of three muggles

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  1. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    I thought he wasn't allowed to use magic outside of school period?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      yea but anythin goes in the movies

  2. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Potter thread? Potter thread.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Accio bum.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Expelliarmus!

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        levioSAAAAAAAAH

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Oney's work is great, but for me it's the Potter Puppet Pals.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          SNAPE
          SNAPE
          SEVERUS SNAPE

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            DUMBLEDORE

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          blows my mind the same dude did this brodyquest and ultimate showdown

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            He's got a weird talent for making moronic edits that should sound awful but don't, and they get stuck in my head a lot.
            Listen to Mullet with Butterfly Wings or Wow Wow or The Starting Line. What the frick.

            • 9 months ago
              Anonymous

              Annoyed Grunt is my favorite but Wow Wow is a close second. Sadly he's one of many artists that zoomers have decided are "zoomy" so they can pretend to be sophisticated by liking other more mainstream things

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            He's got a weird talent for making moronic edits that should sound awful but don't, and they get stuck in my head a lot.
            Listen to Mullet with Butterfly Wings or Wow Wow or The Starting Line. What the frick.

            serial one hit wonder

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Accio bum.

      >Accio Hermione's panties

      How many points would the professors deduct for doing that?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      > say the line, Edvigejak!

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Sneeder thread? Sneeder thread.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      i look like that

  3. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Why did they give the magic envelope dick sucking lips

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      you know why

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      something for the dads

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      To indicate the letter was type b.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Behave yourself anon. Or you might get a paper cut if you decide to engage yourself in such proclivities.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Why did they give the magic envelope dick sucking lips

        >blow your load
        >it fkys itself into the nearest mailbox
        >turns out it was certified overnight express to the closest sex crimes division of wbi
        >wizard bureau of investigation
        Welp

  4. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    David Yates is such a hack he was probably a janitor that WB hired because they figured people will go see these movies regardless so they can hire cheap labor.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      The best HP director, pleb

  5. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Tfw I got expelled for posing as cedric and frickin half the Gryffindor hoes

  6. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    DEH!

  7. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    it was because he was under 18 you moronic speed watching homosexual

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      kek true
      Haven't even noticed that

      No, the Dursleys are in the know, it’s definitely an exception for them and Hermoine’s parents and shit.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        They still shouldn't be allowed to see it. Muggle scum doesn't deserve to experience magic.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      17 you moronic speed watching homosexual

  8. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    kek true
    Haven't even noticed that

  9. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Wasn't it a normal or at least more normal looking letter in the book

  10. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Wasn't it actually Dobby who used the magic anyway? How did they know someone used magic but not know the difference between a wizard spell and a house elf spell? Rowling even said that there is a spell where you can see the last spell cast by a wand, they just assumed Harry was guilty without even bothering to check? Like wtf she's not even consistent in her own lore.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      1. They know Harry lived with muggles and doesn't own an elf
      2. They only issued him a warning, so there's no reason to investigate
      3. The ministry is just a bit incompetent and whoever is responsible for this stuff probably doesn't care that much

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >a bit
        Ministry of Magic is possibly the most incompetent government in fiction.
        Look at Weasley senior for example. He's the foremost expert on muggles. Not only is that a pointless job, he does not know anything about them in the first place.
        Everyone working for ministry is malicious or completely inept. Often both at the same time.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          >He's the foremost expert on muggles

          He is not, he is literally some oddball working in a low-level department who has a personal obsession with Muggles. I guarantee someone like Kingsley Shacklebolt has greater knowledge of how Muggles behave than Arthur Weasley does, which is why the Ministry was able to insert Kingsley as a spy in the British Prime Minister's office where he went undetected

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Man almost like he was intentionally set up
      That doesnt really make sense. Malfoys had no awareness that Dobby was sabotaging their plan. Who would have set him up?

      This is the fifth movie, after he cast a Patronus to ward dementors off of him and Dudley (which were placed there to set him up to use magic). Dobby is a 100% nonfactor.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        >Dobby is a 100% nonfactor.
        Not if you hate the guy since he first tried to make Harry Foster's to punish him for making such a loud fricking noise. What an butthole.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      the one from op is from ootp where dudders/harry get attacked by dementors.
      but yeah for chamber of secrets, it's a bit weird. later on in the books, rowling explicitly makes a point that elf magic is somehow different to wizard magic so it's kind of weird it triggers the trace. i think the reason why they never bothered checking what spell harry cast was that it was just a warning in chamber vs the expulsion in ootp
      on that note, the bigger contradiction with the trace for me was always with tom riddle when he went back to the gaunt shack and killed everyone and framed his uncle for it. surely the trace would have triggered that an underage wizard is killing people and rewriting their memories but whatever i guess
      generally across the stories, rowling has a pretty bad habit of writing something because it seems cool and explains something without much foresight for the future consequences of it or even what it clashes with previously.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Rowling actually explains the thing about Riddle killing his parents by saying the Trace can detect underage magic being used at a location, but not cannot specifically identify who is using the magic. So in theory, if Fred Weasley used underage magic at the Burrow, they would not be able to identify which of the underage Weasley children used magic, just that one of them did.

        It's a weird explanation, but ultimately that's why Riddle got away with it, since even if they could detect underage magic they could not specifically associate Riddle with it since no one but him knew at the time that he was related to the Gaunts. And like Dumbledore said, they had an expertly brainwashed Morfin confess to the crimes, and he already had a recorded history of attacking Muggles, so case closed.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          >Entire pure Slytherin heirs ended up being inbred morons who died without fame or glory
          Sad! Many such cases

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Like wtf she's not even consistent in her own lore.
      Actually she's very consistent, wizards are morons

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      when you're admitted to hogwarts they cast a spell on you that tracks when you use magic so they can tell if you use magic outside of school, which isn't supposed to be allowed

      also it doesn't work if you're over 18 for no reason
      also they only seem to care about underage magic if you do it around muggles
      also they never use it to find students for any other reason
      also it doesn't actually track when you use magic it just tracks when magic happens around you so it's incredibly pointlessly unreliable

      also underaged magic is allowed but only when used in self defense or the defense of others, which is what happened in that scene, and like the entire start of the book/movie is how the accusations against Harry are comically frivolous and an absolute waste of time for everyone involved.

  11. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Man almost like he was intentionally set up. Come on man, there are real problems with that movie we can talk about, this isn't one of them.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Man almost like he was intentionally set up
      That doesnt really make sense. Malfoys had no awareness that Dobby was sabotaging their plan. Who would have set him up?

  12. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    The Dursleys already know about magic, Petunia has known since she was a young girl when her sister got accepted to Hogwarts.

  13. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    This is one of the countless reasons why the books are 1000X better.

  14. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    gicöving little kids the power to redpill the entire world that there are wizards does seem a bit ill thought out

  15. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    >students get tons of magic homework over the holidays
    >can't legally use magic outside of school
    What did they mean by this

  16. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Sounds exactly like something the government would do t. Food stampoid

  17. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    >using the forbidden curses is so serious you go to azkaban
    >obviously every spell can be tracked as seen with underage magic
    >ministry of magic doesnt put an automatic trace on everyone who uses forbidden magic
    hmm

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >truth potions exist
      >aren't incorporated into the legal system

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Hypothetically, would a truth potion violate the fifth amendment in the US legal system? I don't know British laws and whether they have a similar rule

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          The UK, like most other countries, has absolutely nothing resembling the bill of rights. The UK in particular doesn't even have a formal constitution so parliament can change rules whenever they want. You can't be charged purely because you stay silent, but it can be used to block any future defense or alibi since you didn't use it when first asked. And again, those rules only exist as a law passed by parliament in the 90s and can be repealed at any time, or even waived for a specific trial.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          No way it would fly, not only would it violate the 5th amendment but it would also involve a form of punishment/torture for someone not even convicted of a crime. Truth potions would be great for the innocent to prove themselves if they so choose, but not as a means of coercion.

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous

            >get a friend to imperius or confund you into lying at all costs or believing a lie is in fact true
            >drink truth serum
            >avoid getting azkab&

            • 9 months ago
              Anonymous

              I'm not a HP geek, does the truth serum work by making the person tell what they believe is the truth, or tell the actual truth? If it's the former then it's just as useless as a lie detector test.

  18. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    It's almost like if politicians have double standards and do everything to censor their enemies.

  19. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    One of the things I wish I could sometimes do if I had a time machine would be to collect as many as possible of the plot holes and inconsistencies in the Harry Potter box, in chronological order, and to mail them and all 7 books to Rowling while she is working on the first one.
    Just to see what she'd do.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      She'd have to release them as they are or else risk a paradox

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Assume for the sake of actually imagining what would happen it would create an alternate timeline. You know, fun.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          She would go on to make twice as many holes while trying to fix the first set. Did you really think a hack like JK could do anything else?

  20. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    How was the person writing the letter supposed to know muggles were going to be in earshot?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Cuz the letter is magic

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        But it's made explicitly clear that the letters themselves are not sentient. The letters have no way of knowing if there are any muggles around.

        • 9 months ago
          Anonymous

          How is it talking if it’s not sentient?

          • 9 months ago
            Anonymous
  21. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Rowling never think things through. Not when she wrote the books and not when she posted transphobic shit on twitter.

  22. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Not surprising that this magical Pony Express is just another cursed turkey for the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

    Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

    >a-at least the books were good though
    "No!"
    The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

    I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones in shit tier

      This has to be bait.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        It's a forgotten shitty pasta someone really tried to force to become a thing but it never caught on obviously because it sucks ass and spamming something won't compensate for lack of talent so the guy gave up and it's just a pathetic relic.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        That's the only correct part of that image

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Nah it's bang on.

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      nice middle school reddit list you have there

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      i've seen this pic posted a few times, and i still can't tell if it's ironic or not

  23. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    What's stopping Harry from going to the television to expose the entire wizard world?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      wizards hving all the tvs and tv stations under a spell that puts whismical music and cheap CGI magic effects when people say magic is real.

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        So THAT'S why those red circles and arrows are everywhere along with the accompanying spooky music?

  24. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Does anyone have the 11labs of Dumbledore sending Slytherine into the gas chamber, and then awarding them 6 million points?

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      https://vocaroo.com/16XZlnX27evv

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        thanks fren. 500 points

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        I like the version with the old man voice more
        https://vocaroo.com/1n9SxDcwutCF

      • 9 months ago
        Hitman Monaghan

        What the frick is wrong with you people?

      • 9 months ago
        Anonymous

        Kek, I made this version. Haven't seen it in a while

  25. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    In the mood for some fanfiction kino, does anyone have suggestions for something well written? Personal favourites
    >Seventh Horcrux
    >A Black Comedy
    >Faery Heroes
    >1800 Rent-a-Hero (unfinished)

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      the one where hermione uses the time turner to go back an hour and frick herself

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Inquisitor Carrow

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Definitely not well written but I've been looking for an excuse to repost this

    • 9 months ago
      Anonymous

      Control and Circular Reasoning are both pure 2008 edgekino

  26. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    EPISTLE FELLATIUS!

  27. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    anyone have the greentext of Dumbledore watching Harry take a shit?

  28. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Deh!

  29. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    >He doesn't pay for first class postage
    That's not magic wagie

  30. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine.

  31. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Didn't Harry's fake parents already know about magic and shit? This wouldn't of been some magic reveal, just some annoying occurrence of that gay wizardry shit

  32. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    Did they ever explain why they couldn't just bring guns in from the real world to kill all the bad guys?

  33. 9 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Harry and Ron were playing a game of Wizards' Chess
    >Ron exclaimed "kings bishop to b5"
    >Harry was dumbstruck, checkm8'd again by Ron
    >Meanwhile Hermione stretched her legs over to their table carrying 8 700 page textbooks
    >"Ron, please STOP 'Accio bumming' me, Lavender Brown and the Parvati twins!! Its so CRUEL!" Hermione yelled calmly
    >Ron gets up, aggressively tip toes behind Hermione and plucks one of her hairs
    >Harry gave Ron a side eyed glance
    >"Harry, you KNOW the Polyjuice Potion is only allowed to be made strictly with written permission from a professor!" -Hermione pleaded
    >"Oh don't worry Hermione, Loony Lupin is in on the wizard gangbang, we'll be fine." -Harry explained reassuredly

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