>You are the great Van Helsing!

>You are the great Van Helsing! Trained by monks and mullahs from Tibet to Istanbul! Protected by Rome herself! But, like me, hunted by all others.
>Did I mention that it was you who murdered me? It must be such a burden... such a curse... to be the Left Hand of God. All I want is life, Gabriel. The continuation of my kind.

How would you respond in this situation?

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  1. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I wouldn't respond at all. I would simply crush Kate Beckinsale to death and then cry like a b***h over her. And that's what Van Helsing did.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >I would simply crush Kate Beckinsale to death
      why tho

  2. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >Die monster
    And then I would kill him

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      You forgot to inform him that he doesn't belong in this world

  3. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    nothing because i recognize his chad status similar to mine

  4. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Do what the turks did i.e. frick dracula in the ass

  5. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Why would Dracula, a man who hates T*rks, call Constantinopole by that name?

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      it rhymths and dracula was no

  6. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Frick his brides while he watches.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      you really wanna do this, bro?

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        3>1>2

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          For me it's 1>3>2 but 1 and 3 are so close, I guess it's just universally agreed that 2 is the uggo of the group. That's rough.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            You're correct, but only relatively speaking. She's still an easy 8/10

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        they could suck me dry

        A HE HE HE.

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous

          Absolutely, yes.

          N-nooo don't give me a blowjob like that, no, not the ball-licking and the teasing and biting into the dick just before I cum so you can drain the blood from my erection, leaving me with blue balls
          Anything but that oh God vampires are so awful

          bro they’re half humanoid flying monsters who hate humans. stop liking evil women. weirdo

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            No, I don't think I will.

          • 1 week ago
            Anonymous

            >stop liking evil women
            No.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        If they remade van helsing all three brides would be obese and black

        • 1 week ago
          Anonymous
      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        Absolutely, yes.

      • 1 week ago
        Anonymous

        N-nooo don't give me a blowjob like that, no, not the ball-licking and the teasing and biting into the dick just before I cum so you can drain the blood from my erection, leaving me with blue balls
        Anything but that oh God vampires are so awful

  7. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >How would you respond in this situation?
    How did he respond in the movie? Some tonedeaf Marvel quip written by that one Taika'naka-huwa Waititi'kumakawahali israelite that pretends to be an islander? That's what I always expect now.

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      That movie predates the MCU, dumb fricking zoomer moron.
      Can't remember though because it was pretty forgettable.

  8. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >dude check out my crossbow

  9. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >No. I came back to stop you.

  10. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I wouldn’t respond to undead gay hairdresser Dracula. I would listen. That’s what no one else did.

  11. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    I would explain that I’m not the legendary Abraham Van Helsing, one of the most famous characters of all time, but Gabriel Van Helsing, a man taking directions from an insecure mong

  12. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    >Trained by monks and mullahs
    Ugh.. why were mullahs added?
    He was hunting vampires and werewolves, not ghouls and genies.
    Pick a fricking mythology and stick with it.

  13. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    This movie and others like it, like league of extraordinary gentlemen, though they were shit, were so much LESS shit than their equivalents today that it's strange to look back on them with nostalgia for better times. Like that grabage cruise mummy film, makes van helsing look like a 10/10 by comparison.

    not that the period didn't have its soulless trash as well. like the one with vampires where beckinsale runs around in latex outfits. yeah, the underworld movies fricking sucked. deal with it.

  14. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    Posting a few high res photos of the brides.

  15. 1 week ago
    Anonymous
    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      >Dracula’s wives after seeing my BBC
      There’s no way they’d want to stay with him and his tiny wiener

    • 1 week ago
      Anonymous

      Higher res.

  16. 1 week ago
    Anonymous
  17. 1 week ago
    Anonymous
  18. 1 week ago
    Anonymous
  19. 1 week ago
    Anonymous

    To be honest I'd just go get wasted with Igor, he seemed cool

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