>hitler doesn't know about the holobunga >every official is trying to hide it from him >he eventually accidentally finds out >it's......literally nothing >he calls them all pussies for half arsing it
Inside the Kennedy White House as his team has to juggle his image of charismatic competence with his reality as a sickly lascivious jackass
Midpoint: he gets fricking shot
Radical abolitionists winning would've. Set our civilization forward centuries
Instead we had shitbags like woodrow
Of whom I would imagine would make a pretty dank historical comedy. Especially the last two years of his presidency where he dicked around in Europe while America was in flames.
Yeah it's off topic technically put this is a pretty great idea. Written be Ianucci but way more Thick of It style ridiculous and kind of benign.
I'm imagining you never see Louis but the story follows 8 or so men of high position all trying to get his attention over a weekend bacchanal while also trying to sabotage the other's attempts.
Definstration of Prague
2 hours of the guy constantly getting thrown into a pile of shit only for him to run back upstairs and try to convince the Bohemians again
A prequel, death of Lenin.
Also, take it from the Russian, Death of Stalin is a stupid film. Could be made way, way funnier.
Also in the same cinematic universe, "How aviation bureaus manufactured charges against each other and stole prototypes".
It was written by a Frenchoid. Of course it sucks. All of their movies are dull, devoid of any human emotion, and desperately want to be like either German or Italian film
t. buttmad frenchie
I hate you French gays so much. The truth hurts I know.
Maybe next time don't surrender in 9 minutes and you won't have the reputation of being flaming homosexuals.
>there was no "neutral" bars in non-neutral country you moron >the frick would russians do there >Allo, Allo already exists and is better than your sad fantasy could ever be, you uncultured mutt
It's called humor you dipshit. It's a suspension of disbelief, something your autistic ass is incapable of understanding. Read more homosexual existential novels with depressed introverted protagonists, Pierre. That's more your speed.
Also, who are you quoting?
Franz Ferdinand can be a character who comes in the bar regularly and the running joke is that he's wienery and arrogant and believes himself to be invincible, constantly acting reckless and each episode can have a "Kenny dies" type joke where you the think the Archduke accidentally kills himself but it's revealed that he's perfectly fine.
Trotsky would also of course be the stereotypical israelite. Stalin is constantly scheming the revolution but Trotsky is playing it safe worrying if they have enough money and trying to penny pinch and doing discount versions of Stalin's schemes.
This has sort of been mentioned but I want a story about a overworked Soviet Commissar faking the Holocaust in time for Nuremberg. Imagine the hijinks: >but tovarich these are OUR mass graves >when we build the mock up death camps should we tear down the local cinema? >what do you mean Comdrade Stalin has order all airtight doors go to the navy? How will we build a gas chamber?
The provisional government when the US occupied Iraq. Everything you read about that is bonkers
>we need to privatize these 150 government factories >this is high priority despite widespread blackouts, rampant crime, limited water, no garbage/sewage disposal and so on >a team of experts has determined this will take several thousand people and many months >actually lets send one guy and give him two weeks >anyway how is that 24 year old with no work experience doing at single-handedly setting up a modern Stock Exchange?
100% a biopic of Joseph Fouché. This dude was next level genius.
>grew up poor >became math teacher >then a revolutionary >then a conservative >then a friend of the king louis XVI >then a friend of Robespierre >then a friend of Napoleon >then the fricking ruler of France for a while
This is just from the top of my head, his history is just crazy
Fouche was in the napoleon miniseries. He wasnt portrayed as a genius moreso portrayed as an unscrupulous man with no inner convictions besides a lust for power.
Kristian Tyrann aka Kristian II, a dark comedy of his idiocy in comitting the Stockholm Bloodbath, and losing the alliance and setting of hundreds of years of getting his nation’s ass kicked
A period comedy set in 1623 following George Villiers, 1st Duke of Buckingham and Charles I of England where they travel incognito to Spain in an attempt to marry Charles I to Infanta Maria of Spain. > Buckingham was James I of England's (Charles' father) favorite because of his dancing abilities and was speculated to have been his gay love at the time > Buckingham's behavior outraged Maria so much that the Spanish parliament called for his execution > Averted execution by calling for war with Spain > Only man who went on from serving James I to serving Charles I when he became King > Sent an army to Spain, ate all the food while the ship was at harbor > Army got drunk when they found a warehouse of wine, then came home having accomplished nothing > Led navy to ambush the Spanish, missed and had to come home because of disease and starvation > Got tricked by Cardinal Richelieu while trying to lay siege to French Protestants, blamed it on his English allies then tried to start a conspiracy with the French Protestants he'd just tried to kill > So hated in England by the end of it that his personal physician was lynched when they found out he worked for Buckingham > Got stabbed in a bar while trying to recruit another expedition to Spain > His murderer was executed and his body placed on display, but the public acclaimed the corpse as a saint for having killed Buckingham > Gravestone reads 'The Enigma of the World" > Proposed title: "BUCK & CHUCK: ENIGMA OF THE WORLD"
A series following the life of Charles XII of Sweden, became king at the age of 15, battled his way across Europe, spent 5 years of exile in the Ottoman Empire and finally met his end in the Norway at ripe old age of 36.
marx.. i would display him just as he was a fat incel loser who never worked a single day in his life and was a leech on his family for his entire life to the point his own family hated him for being such a useless pig frick up.
the nazi officer that Hitler picked to build the rollercoaster of death at the concentration camps
and its just two hours of them having meetings, designing and building prototypes of it and the absurdity of it all
The Italian and German submarines that kept fighting together with the Japanese after Germany's surrender in 1945 and Heinrich Georg Stahmer's attempts at being the new Führer since obviously he is the highest ranking Reich official still in the game. It's the gamer on the far right. Everybody speaks about Atlantis and Hyperborea but nobody speaks about Northern Hokkaido and the German submarinebase there.
"“Everything burned, went down. And just a few yards away from our so-called air-raid shelter there was a man dying. He was hit by a bomb in his leg, and the leg was very swollen, and the trousers were very tight about it. So I went to the air-raid shelter where we had our first-aid equipment. There was a scissor, and I tried to cut the trousers, and then he cried. He said it was hurting so much. He had what do you call … Rosenkranz. Buddhist prayer … They pray with …
“Rosary?” I offer.
“Rosary. He had a Buddhist rosary.”
Wickert goes on to tell how he went looking for help and approached a policeman whose job it was to keep tabs on foreigners like Wickert. “I said, ‘We have somebody who is hit, and if you don’t do something about it, he’ll die. Could you help us to carry him to the hospital?’
‘Hospital? Which hospital?’
“The hospital was burned down, too. So we just had to let him die. In the morning he was dead already.”
“What was it like to see all those corpses? I mean, it must have been horrible,” I say, my stomach tense and queasy.
“Only when you see your first corpses. Afterwards, you’ve seen them all,” he says resignedly.
What sort of horrors did he witness to make him so matter of fact, I wonder
Where was Wickert, I asked, when the bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Safe with his family at the Mount Fuji resort."
"April 30, 1945. It took a while for the announcement to filter to the Germans in Tokyo, for Berlin sent no announcement to the embassy. Finally, someone intercepted a German news broadcast from a station in Norway proclaiming that Hitler had died. Heinrich Stahmer, who’d taken over for Eugen Ott as ambassador, called for the embassy staff to attend a memorial service for the fallen Führer.
All the German embassy personnel came. There was a symphony orchestra, which was directed by the German, Helmut Fellmer. They played ‘Siegfried’s Death’ or something else from Richard Wagner. And he [Stahmer] gave a speech that Hitler died a heroic death. And then he had the colors of the party thrown out, and the national hymn was thrown out, and there also was a program.
Soon after that memorial service came confirmation of news that Wickert had earlier heard about israelites being killed in Nazi camps from British and American broadcasts. He had repeated the news in his embassy bulletin in 1944, then was ordered by Ambassador Stahmer to retract it. “My impression had been that the army was still very intact, not doing any atrocities. When I left Germany in 1940 there was still the old German officers’ morality. And then this happened. It was absolutely impossible for me to understand it. At first I didn’t believe it.” But after Stahmer’s urgent order to delete this item, and knowing the ambassador’s close alignment with Meisinger, he reconsidered. “Meisinger would have known what happened from someone who came on a submarine.
I showed them the letter of the party leader in Shanghai who asked for my recall, saying I was a terrible character—no tact and no cooperation. And I had a letter where they told me that my book would forbidden [in Germany]. And they said, ‘You’ll be deNazified all right.’"
>soundcloud rapmusic starts playing >Dirlegang Dirlegang Dirlegang >Oskar rides a pimped out Mercedes-Benz through Warsaw >shooting morons and mongs left and right in slow motion with a golden luger >smiles and whinks at the camera >"I'm gonna make Kaminski my b***h" >one legged boy jumps alongside car >hot nun (played by Bella Thorne) has apperently been sucking off Dirlewanger the whole time, he pushes her head down again
Rest of the movie is musical set during the Warsaw uprising, there's a breakdance battle between Dirlewanger and RONA in the finale
>what if... the holocaust wasn't just a legend?
A movie about Polish nobility, church and golend age of poland based on life of Kazimierz Łyszczyński
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kazimierz_Łyszczyński
>Hitler did nothing wrong
That's my proposed title of the movie.
Hitler didn't know about holocaust woud be better
With the subtitle
>And if he did it was entirely justified
>hitler doesn't know about the holobunga
>every official is trying to hide it from him
>he eventually accidentally finds out
>it's......literally nothing
>he calls them all pussies for half arsing it
Caligula. He was just bantering. Angloids deeply misunderstood his character.
>kek this
>ohh that that's the rape room dear
>Ooooo Emporor why dont you show me that room
>because it wouldnt be rape you'r going to the cliff my dear
>What if white people were enslaved by Black people after the Civil War?
Inside the Kennedy White House as his team has to juggle his image of charismatic competence with his reality as a sickly lascivious jackass
Midpoint: he gets fricking shot
Jordan Peele?
Set in the northern states
Radical abolitionists winning would've. Set our civilization forward centuries
Instead we had shitbags like woodrow
Of whom I would imagine would make a pretty dank historical comedy. Especially the last two years of his presidency where he dicked around in Europe while America was in flames.
>Woodrow Wilson's European Adventure
>woodrow isn't in the movie at all because he's away in europe
Why Oskar Dirlewanger of course!
When Woodrow Wilson has a stroke and his wife has to weekend at bernie's run the presidency for him
Versailles screwball comedy
Ah shit, I didn't see "dark" until it was too late, well I'm sure some peasant abuse could help make that happen
Yeah it's off topic technically put this is a pretty great idea. Written be Ianucci but way more Thick of It style ridiculous and kind of benign.
I'm imagining you never see Louis but the story follows 8 or so men of high position all trying to get his attention over a weekend bacchanal while also trying to sabotage the other's attempts.
Ever see Vatel? Its not screwball level but its light hearted and fun.
Looks very amusing Anon thank you.
Caligula
Fall of Rome with Atila
Black Death
Lead-up to the Wars of the Roses
Borgia family
Prelude to French Revolution
Donner Party
Definstration of Prague
2 hours of the guy constantly getting thrown into a pile of shit only for him to run back upstairs and try to convince the Bohemians again
>damn, he ain't going to be in 30 years war 2
Unit 731 would make a really dark comedy
aren't the Japanese quirky?
Look up men behind the sun
jej
Taiping rebellion. Sure, it's been blown out of the proportion a bit, but tell me this crazy fricker's story wouldn't make for a good movie.
9/11
Two Thousand and FUN
A TV series about the American revolution. Make it a comedy of errors involving the Founding Fathers with a Rashomon retelling of the Boston Tea Party
WKUK beat you to the punch by 20 years.
I always wanted to do a movie semi-similar to this about the French Revolution.
Hannah Duston as the first STRONK AMERICAN WOMYN
because she actually was but feminists won’t admit it because MUH INJUNS WERE THE GUD GUYS WYPEEPO BAD
Based. Those shitskins should have never bashed her childs brains in. They got what they fricking deserve
Shackleton's Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition.
McMartin Preschool.
A prequel, death of Lenin.
Also, take it from the Russian, Death of Stalin is a stupid film. Could be made way, way funnier.
Also in the same cinematic universe, "How aviation bureaus manufactured charges against each other and stole prototypes".
It was written by a Frenchoid. Of course it sucks. All of their movies are dull, devoid of any human emotion, and desperately want to be like either German or Italian film
A sitcom about a neutral bar in Paris during WWII. Russian commies, German Nazis, pussy Frenchmen are all characters. Hijinks ensue.
the absolute state of this post
uncultured amerimutt pig
t. buttmad frenchie
I hate you French gays so much. The truth hurts I know.
Maybe next time don't surrender in 9 minutes and you won't have the reputation of being flaming homosexuals.
>there was no "neutral" bars in non-neutral country you moron
>the frick would russians do there
>Allo, Allo already exists and is better than your sad fantasy could ever be, you uncultured mutt
It's called humor you dipshit. It's a suspension of disbelief, something your autistic ass is incapable of understanding. Read more homosexual existential novels with depressed introverted protagonists, Pierre. That's more your speed.
Also, who are you quoting?
>Also, who are you quoting?
lel you thought it will look quirky or something, but you fricked up a simple meme
actual fricking inbred moron
lurk more
>overly pedantic autistic mongoloid shitting up the thread
there's the vienna bar with trotsky, hitler, stalin and freud
They all lived in Vienna at the same time right? That could actually be hilarious.
the staff hated trotsky, who never tipped, complained and was a literal stereotypical israelite
sauce or it isn't real
saw it on twitter ages ago, cba to find it for you
provide sauce or it's made up, yes
>twitter
you're not helping
really don't care if you believe it or not
so you made it up then, gotcha.
tipping isn't even a custom anywhere in europe, so I'm skeptical
tipping isn't even a thing in austria, so that's how I know this is BS
t. swiss
And Tito and Archduke Franz Ferdinand
Franz Ferdinand can be a character who comes in the bar regularly and the running joke is that he's wienery and arrogant and believes himself to be invincible, constantly acting reckless and each episode can have a "Kenny dies" type joke where you the think the Archduke accidentally kills himself but it's revealed that he's perfectly fine.
He loves pranks....but they always ending up (harmlessly) blowing back on him
I think we are on to something here.
Trotsky would also of course be the stereotypical israelite. Stalin is constantly scheming the revolution but Trotsky is playing it safe worrying if they have enough money and trying to penny pinch and doing discount versions of Stalin's schemes.
Weimar Republic
Magnus Hirschfeld
Alfred Kinsey
Dr. John Money
Dean Corll (I was going to pick Jeffrey Dahmer but that's been done to death)
Alfred Kinsey plays an "Ernest goes to camp" style character but he just does nothing but rape kids.
Helmut Kentler
This has sort of been mentioned but I want a story about a overworked Soviet Commissar faking the Holocaust in time for Nuremberg. Imagine the hijinks:
>but tovarich these are OUR mass graves
>when we build the mock up death camps should we tear down the local cinema?
>what do you mean Comdrade Stalin has order all airtight doors go to the navy? How will we build a gas chamber?
The Chekist 1992 but hilarity ensuing
Muslim Conquest of Hindu/Buddhist Afghanistan.
Obscure; close to no source material. Try again, chud
Something about Mugabe
The provisional government when the US occupied Iraq. Everything you read about that is bonkers
>we need to privatize these 150 government factories
>this is high priority despite widespread blackouts, rampant crime, limited water, no garbage/sewage disposal and so on
>a team of experts has determined this will take several thousand people and many months
>actually lets send one guy and give him two weeks
>anyway how is that 24 year old with no work experience doing at single-handedly setting up a modern Stock Exchange?
The guy in the dress passes better then the gay who posted the image. Guarentee it.
100% a biopic of Joseph Fouché. This dude was next level genius.
>grew up poor
>became math teacher
>then a revolutionary
>then a conservative
>then a friend of the king louis XVI
>then a friend of Robespierre
>then a friend of Napoleon
>then the fricking ruler of France for a while
This is just from the top of my head, his history is just crazy
Let me guess, you read 48 Laws of Power too?
No, why?
Fouche is an entire chapter in that book and usually where people first hear about him. Talleyrand is written about extensively too.
Honestly didn't know about it, i remember reading about him in my old history textbook and thought it was fricking hilarious, I'll check it out
Fouche was in the napoleon miniseries. He wasnt portrayed as a genius moreso portrayed as an unscrupulous man with no inner convictions besides a lust for power.
Kinda like Nappy
Kristian Tyrann aka Kristian II, a dark comedy of his idiocy in comitting the Stockholm Bloodbath, and losing the alliance and setting of hundreds of years of getting his nation’s ass kicked
Claudius but I would make him a literal stuttering baffoon but kind hearted
Truman, the bumbling crim who rose to the top of the US and cemented FDR's new world order for a century to come
Titled "Useful Idiot"
A period comedy set in 1623 following George Villiers, 1st Duke of Buckingham and Charles I of England where they travel incognito to Spain in an attempt to marry Charles I to Infanta Maria of Spain.
> Buckingham was James I of England's (Charles' father) favorite because of his dancing abilities and was speculated to have been his gay love at the time
> Buckingham's behavior outraged Maria so much that the Spanish parliament called for his execution
> Averted execution by calling for war with Spain
> Only man who went on from serving James I to serving Charles I when he became King
> Sent an army to Spain, ate all the food while the ship was at harbor
> Army got drunk when they found a warehouse of wine, then came home having accomplished nothing
> Led navy to ambush the Spanish, missed and had to come home because of disease and starvation
> Got tricked by Cardinal Richelieu while trying to lay siege to French Protestants, blamed it on his English allies then tried to start a conspiracy with the French Protestants he'd just tried to kill
> So hated in England by the end of it that his personal physician was lynched when they found out he worked for Buckingham
> Got stabbed in a bar while trying to recruit another expedition to Spain
> His murderer was executed and his body placed on display, but the public acclaimed the corpse as a saint for having killed Buckingham
> Gravestone reads 'The Enigma of the World"
> Proposed title: "BUCK & CHUCK: ENIGMA OF THE WORLD"
Henry VIII
Big, fat, and obsessed with himself. If you can't get a joke out of that you shouldn't be doing comedy.
Played by John Candy. When Henry the 8th was young though he was an absolute Chad.
Russo-Japanese War, the voyage of the Baltic Fleet in particular
That might be fun, i second your idea, and demand an executive producer credit.
A series following the life of Charles XII of Sweden, became king at the age of 15, battled his way across Europe, spent 5 years of exile in the Ottoman Empire and finally met his end in the Norway at ripe old age of 36.
marx.. i would display him just as he was a fat incel loser who never worked a single day in his life and was a leech on his family for his entire life to the point his own family hated him for being such a useless pig frick up.
Cool it with the antisemetic remarks anon.
Modern Western politics, it's just called the news
Just the whole of the year 2020
A story about this guy.
scratch
>>yep, that's me you might wonder how i ended up in this situation
My idea is thus: what if Napoleon was a gay Black person
from outer space
But he was already French
so true
Genghis Khan.
The Sykes-Picot Agreement, purely for the punchline of the Soviets screwing over the British so hard there
Europe invasion of South East Asia
the nazi officer that Hitler picked to build the rollercoaster of death at the concentration camps
and its just two hours of them having meetings, designing and building prototypes of it and the absurdity of it all
JFK.
The Italian and German submarines that kept fighting together with the Japanese after Germany's surrender in 1945 and Heinrich Georg Stahmer's attempts at being the new Führer since obviously he is the highest ranking Reich official still in the game. It's the gamer on the far right. Everybody speaks about Atlantis and Hyperborea but nobody speaks about Northern Hokkaido and the German submarinebase there.
"“Everything burned, went down. And just a few yards away from our so-called air-raid shelter there was a man dying. He was hit by a bomb in his leg, and the leg was very swollen, and the trousers were very tight about it. So I went to the air-raid shelter where we had our first-aid equipment. There was a scissor, and I tried to cut the trousers, and then he cried. He said it was hurting so much. He had what do you call … Rosenkranz. Buddhist prayer … They pray with …
“Rosary?” I offer.
“Rosary. He had a Buddhist rosary.”
Wickert goes on to tell how he went looking for help and approached a policeman whose job it was to keep tabs on foreigners like Wickert. “I said, ‘We have somebody who is hit, and if you don’t do something about it, he’ll die. Could you help us to carry him to the hospital?’
‘Hospital? Which hospital?’
“The hospital was burned down, too. So we just had to let him die. In the morning he was dead already.”
“What was it like to see all those corpses? I mean, it must have been horrible,” I say, my stomach tense and queasy.
“Only when you see your first corpses. Afterwards, you’ve seen them all,” he says resignedly.
What sort of horrors did he witness to make him so matter of fact, I wonder
Where was Wickert, I asked, when the bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Safe with his family at the Mount Fuji resort."
"April 30, 1945. It took a while for the announcement to filter to the Germans in Tokyo, for Berlin sent no announcement to the embassy. Finally, someone intercepted a German news broadcast from a station in Norway proclaiming that Hitler had died. Heinrich Stahmer, who’d taken over for Eugen Ott as ambassador, called for the embassy staff to attend a memorial service for the fallen Führer.
All the German embassy personnel came. There was a symphony orchestra, which was directed by the German, Helmut Fellmer. They played ‘Siegfried’s Death’ or something else from Richard Wagner. And he [Stahmer] gave a speech that Hitler died a heroic death. And then he had the colors of the party thrown out, and the national hymn was thrown out, and there also was a program.
Soon after that memorial service came confirmation of news that Wickert had earlier heard about israelites being killed in Nazi camps from British and American broadcasts. He had repeated the news in his embassy bulletin in 1944, then was ordered by Ambassador Stahmer to retract it. “My impression had been that the army was still very intact, not doing any atrocities. When I left Germany in 1940 there was still the old German officers’ morality. And then this happened. It was absolutely impossible for me to understand it. At first I didn’t believe it.” But after Stahmer’s urgent order to delete this item, and knowing the ambassador’s close alignment with Meisinger, he reconsidered. “Meisinger would have known what happened from someone who came on a submarine.
I showed them the letter of the party leader in Shanghai who asked for my recall, saying I was a terrible character—no tact and no cooperation. And I had a letter where they told me that my book would forbidden [in Germany]. And they said, ‘You’ll be deNazified all right.’"
Imperial Japanese, specially experiments and kamikazes
wtf Cinemaphile there is so much kino in these posts
Captain Cook with a Welsh accent sailing the world looking for primo islander pussy to bang.
>soundcloud rapmusic starts playing
>Dirlegang Dirlegang Dirlegang
>Oskar rides a pimped out Mercedes-Benz through Warsaw
>shooting morons and mongs left and right in slow motion with a golden luger
>smiles and whinks at the camera
>"I'm gonna make Kaminski my b***h"
>one legged boy jumps alongside car
>hot nun (played by Bella Thorne) has apperently been sucking off Dirlewanger the whole time, he pushes her head down again
Rest of the movie is musical set during the Warsaw uprising, there's a breakdance battle between Dirlewanger and RONA in the finale
Come on, there was already been written script about that boy. 75 of them
https://imgur.com/a/vZGjqzx
That is a great movie
>You can make a dark comedy about any historical figure or event
The USS Liberty.
it is p funny how pathetic the US is yeh
You can’t make fun of America’s greatest national tragedy today of all days
>30 mutts die in a nothingburger
>their families get compensated millions for decades later
>greatest tragedy
Take the money and flee to Israel.
a film version of this would be hilarious. the juxtaposition between a feudal empire fighting a modern war with submarines and planes is comedy gold.