>You have your mother's eyes
>*dies*
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>You have your mother's eyes. >*dies*
>You have your mother's eyes
>*dies*
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>"You have your mothers wiener"
>*dies*
???
uh he didnt say that
uhhhh can i get a zest check
Why did he say "dies" before he died? Kind of cringe
>Your mother sucks wieners in hell
>dies
zimbabwe
>bullies and traumatizes you for life
>gets the girl
>changes for the better and lives a happy life while you want to kys your whole life
many such cases
There is No god
Snape is literally a female power fantasy. > Get the Chad and Chad's super-wizard genes pasded down to your son while the beta cuck chronically jerking off potions boy gets publicly humiliated while vying for your attention and then literally goes to his grave simping over you without ever even receiving a crumb of pussy
Everything about Harry Potter is superficial garbage and that's why women love it so much. Love from Kazakhstan
A magical place, Kazakhstan
based borat breakdown
also dumbledore is gay and nobody said hermoine was white
>beta loves you so much he never stops even after you died and protects your kid that even wasnt his
this is some next level NTR
Snape's unironically the most tragic character in the series. you could argue that Snape didn't love Lily, he loved the idea of her. His entire life isn't spent mourning Lily, it's spent mourning the life he could have led if it wasn't for his own self-destructiveness. He's a genius wizard and probably on the same level as Voldemort and Dumbledore, but he never lets himself be anything other than the boy who got picked on once by a group of kids. He finds solace in "friendships" with reprehensible people because he can assume backseat moral superiority to them, but they're ultimately hollow and based on nothing of lasting worth.
> you could argue that Snape didn't love Lily, he loved the idea of her
Based high school English teacher
i hope it's always cold in Hogwarts because otherwise they all probably had swampy pits wearing those sweaters all the time
It's in the scottish highlands.
>There is No god
>says the spiteful mutant
Many such cases.
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-36551-002
I don't understand why the hat placed him in giffindor. He grew up and became a decent person but so did malfoy
>slytherin wankers!
I like how these scenes show that students once wore full suits to class, old Oxford style under their robes, instead of the typical contemporary British school uniforms you seen in the movie.
James died like a little b***h while Snape went on to become a master dark arts double agent
why didn't Harry try to heal him with a spell?
Why didn't Snape just bribe the house elf that worked for the Potters to collect Lily's hair, use that hair to make polyjuice potions and then forcefeed those potions to some kidnapped muggle teen locked in his basement?
There was a distinct lack of muggles locked in basements
>can apparate into literally any location you can visualize in your mind
>"distinct lack of muggles locked in basements"
Muggles can't apparate moron
He's taking about kidnapping muggles
do men normally look at other men and see women? is this an american thing?
>Do Non Americans normally watch British movies and still manage to think about Americans 24/7 somehow?
Don't care what the books says, in my head Snape fricks Lily in her loose butthole on the daily, giving her mad creampies, of course. Lily is Snape's anal bawd.
>Harry...
>Did you know I always wanted to shag your mum?
>ACK
He was a good friend
>gets bullied throughout school
>girl he likes marries the bully
>still simps for her
>spends the rest of his life looking after his bullies kid
>dies virgin having accomplishing nothing with all the studying he did
rip nerd
Nah he probably fricked plenty of Slytherin sloots because he was Voldy's BFF for a while. And then cried afterwards.
He definitely molested Draco at least once, just to at least feel he had power over something.
>Lilly supposed to be the nicest, most wonderful and caring person ever
>Decides to frick her best friend's bully
>Completely abandons her best friend because he had a single heated moment and she lacked the empathy to understand it
Fricking hacks
They all became multi millionaires, whiney babies should have been forced to wear contacts
what a glaring oversight
Damn Radcliffe has tiny hands.
cheesy corny crap tbh
i mean it's harry potter
Heart me out, imagine a man writing a love poem about a woman getting murdered and telling her bastard daughter that she has her father's eyes. Yeah it can't happen.
i am a virgin who is still in love with a woman who doesn't care about me, and i can tell you now, snape was definitely just written by a woman who wants a little beta slave. in real life you just cut yourself off, keep it all to yourself and move on.
What a fricking simp
"Henry, did I ever tell you, I wanted to frick yer mum lol"
>Story about how everyone is equal regardless of magical ability
>Without exception Squibs are depicted as picrel
What is the implied and invited reading here?
>Story about how everyone is equal regardless of magical ability
What fricking story did you watch
This is ostensibly what Harry Potter is about and I was highlighting one of many ways she failed
I had no clue it was ever like that considering the whole thing dickwaves power levels like it's Dragon Ball Z constantly. The only time it feels like it isn't like that is the fact Harry isn't actually the best wizard to ever live or anything like that, but is literally only successful because he's the "Chosen One" (read: plot armour).
If what you say is true, and that's truly JK Rowling's intent in her story telling, that is fricking hilarious. Almost all the giga wizards are purebloods.
The other key subtext is the whole 'nobody is inherently evil'. Contrast Voldemort and Harry. Harry was saved because he was loved, Voldemort is constantly referred to as unloved. This is peak woman writing as well. Women tend to view dark triad men as just lacking womanly affection. They can be 'changed' from evil to a sweetheart if only they would fall in love. See Ted Bundy.
So Harry represents the 'loved' man destined to destroy the 'unloved'. Neither Harry or Hermione have character flaws because Harry represents the feminine ideal, and Hermione is the self-insert. Ron, a pureblood that lacks social awareness and isn't very attractive naturally is full of flaws. He is the runt of the litter, hot headed, not anywhere near as talented as the others and J K Rowling has admitted that she actually fricking hates him and he was meant to die in the Chess sequence. Voldemort have quintessential 'man written by woman' flaws. He is a hypocrite - a half-blood leading a pureblood racist cult. He hates his mother and adores his father which leads the audience to wonder whether any of the evil things would have happened if he just got a few hugs from mummy growing up. He is celibate and clearly has trouble making and keeping friends, especially women unless it's Bellatrix who is batshit insane and who, like he did with his mother, he discards and refuses the love of (for what that would be worth). The only way it differs from quintessential woman writing is that Voldemort does not have a redemption but he is such a hideous monster (explicitly sub-human in his deviance from the feminine ideal) that this would be impossible. Examples of this are in Kylo Ren who basically turns to the light side of the force because he randomly started getting the hots for Rey in the last movie. Anyway could go on. The story really is fascinating and it's no wonder it's adored by women
tl;dr
have sex
too long but still read. you clearly have sex. other anon is gay. well thought out and articulated post.
nice same, gay
The outwards subtext is that purebloods and mudbloods and squibs and normies are all equal and everybody's the same. The inwards subtext is that the pureblood racists were always right all along and genuinely deserve to be on top, and were only thwarted because of some kid who randomly survived because his mother loved him (because apparently all the other parents of the kids Voldy killed didn't love them).
Come to think about it, this story is a pile of fricking shit.
Squibs aside, everyone had equal potential for magic but that's it. Social class and wealth still matter.
I'd really like to know what determines your wizarding social class. Hermione seems pretty well off despite coming from muggles with 0 Wizard money. Nobody really works, that's for goblins and elves and yet there is a clear difference between the Weasley's and the Malfoys. I assume J K would probably get really upset if someone asked her this because' muh rich is bad' is clearly the trope she was going for
Just seems like it's implied Malfoy's are old money
I'm guessing that working a normal job in the muggle world sucked so he decided to be comfy in a magical castle instead. Filch was still better off than the average British citizen.
>You have your mother's eyes
>They're preseved in a jar of formaldehyde in your vault at Gringotts
>becomes alive again
>oh and do NOT check the folder called Lily on my PC
>dies again
There's no character who's more cucked in the history of cinema tbh
Men with ONEITIS deserve to be ridiculed.
Snape could probably have dicked down and get married to some hot-as-shit death eater witch if he wasn't obsessed with the c**t that let herself get railed by his bully.
>Americans start clapping when some guy asks his crush out
chudbros… we won
I'm going to save this webm so that when the sharty comes to the attention of mainstream media for being a "hate website" or whatever I can hand this over to the troony doxxer army and ruin this homosexual zoomer's life.
>totally going to name my kid after you dude
>he'll have my mums eyes
>though I'm going to call the eldest one James Sirius after your worst enemies
>and I'll call my daughter Lilly just to really frick this situation up more
>snape was a good friend wasn't he Hermione?
Why is Albus Severus named "Polter"?
imagine naming your daughter after your husband's crush. Peak cuckquean.
>naming your daughter after your husband's crush.
Harry had a crush on his own mother?
did you make you sperg post before reading the middle name? dumb adhd zoomer
>before reading the middle name?
Harry most definitely never had a crush on Luna.
So that only leaves his mother. That would make sense. Lots of teenage boys develop a crush on their mothers, and thanks to several magical devices, Harry saw his dead mother repeatedly, and looking in her very early 20s, like when she'd died.
>Lots of teenage boys develop a crush on their mothers
No they don't, Freud. You're projecting your own abnormality.
>No they don't
They literally do. Like it or not.
You afraid of spiders? Guess what, you secretly want to frick them
- Freud
They literally do not.
Japs trying to write Latin runes?
Isn't it funny that Ginny clearly didn't get any input into these kids names.
She had 5% input on the Luna part because it was her only female friend other than Hermione
Could have named one of them Fred after her dead brother. At least a middle name somewhere.
George knocked up the kween from the Quidditch team and they had twins. The boy was Fred Jr.
>One of the is a mudskin
What did Rowling mean by this?
>Luna and Snape get kids named after them, but not Ron, Hermione, or any other Weasleys.
To be fair most of them are still alive at the end. Fred does get a mixed race memorial kid named after him though
That left kid definitely ain’t Harry’s. Ironic having him named James as it’s the bvll’s child. Just had to emulate Snape
It will be strange when the adult actors in the HBO series end up closer to the ages they are in the books. Snape is only supposed to be 31 at the beginning of the series.
Did the films ever settle on "they're est in the 90s" anyway?
The first few are pretty timeless (no mobiles etc.) but in the last ones they're in 2000s London.
The films are just set when they were filmed. You can see the Millennium Bridge in one of them and the song "Boys Will Be Boys" is heard in the fifth one, which narrows it's setting down, very specifically, to those three or four months when that song was everywhere.
He's 31 in the movies too. That's what 15 years of jerkin to a thot in your wank dungeoun looks like.
>Snape is only supposed to be 31 at the beginning of the series.
Strictly speaking, Snape is 21 at the very beginning. Chapter 1 of Philosopher's Stone is set in 1981, ten years before the rest of the book.
>I'm older than Snape
If the Potters made it to their 30s, Lily would be be chatting to Snape on FlooNet while James is out.
Read a smut fanfic years ago by a female writer with a similar plot. The writer admitted she loved fantasizing about Lily cheating on James.
>looks at Harry
>constantly reminded of his bully and the love of his life that was murdered
Snape had a rough life
>ex-step-mum was my teaching assistant at school
>wrote her creepy notes, did weird shit with her bunsen burner in science etc
kids can be fricking psychos imagine teachers with decades of seething behind them
Friendly reminder that Snape was perfectly fine with Voldy killing all the mudbloods right up until it affected him personally.
He was never redeemed. He was just a huge butthole who wanted revenge on an even bigger butthole.
He took every opportunity to torment Harry over the years.
That's why I find the fact everyone loves Regulus Black these days so funny. The man was a genuine Voldemort fanboy until he slapped around his servant.
Not saying you're wrong but you talk like a redditor
I liked him when he was a vicious c**t in the first books, that whole muh tragic love ruined the character. Some people are just c**ts and they do often work in education kek.
He was an butthole to everyone too, not just Harry.
Him being revered as this amazing brave hero at the end really made no sense at all
>I'm l-looking into your eyes because... I f-find them... sexually attra --cough cough--tive
>(dies)
>your wand is glowing blue, Harry. Orcs are nearby...take the Horcrux into the mountain, destroy it!
>You have your mother's eyes
>He doesn't have her mother eyes
>dies
>her mother
Whose mother?
>simps until the end of his life for a girl who went with his BULLY
woman moment
>his passion is defense against the dark arts
>they don't let him teach it because he was naturally talented with potions
That and Voldemort's giga frick off curse would have killed him in a year if he took the post.
His oneitis was terminal
Reminder that Snape is just a genderbent version of Miss Hardbroom from The Worst Witch.
>tells a young boy he has pretty eyes
>dies
Uh... gay?
Why did he have a boner when he said that?