>You may dispense with the pleasantries commander, I am here to put you back on schedule
How do you respond without sounding mad?
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>You may dispense with the pleasantries commander, I am here to put you back on schedule
Padme
>get immediately murdered in front of your subordinates
We shall double our efforts!
0 x 2 = 0 😉
butthurt
Appreciate the help, bro. You have no idea how hectic it's been here.
Good start but
He’d kill you for admitting your failure
Darth Black person
we are on schedule you stupid lord homosexual
But Lord Vader, I have already moved to a more flexable workflow in order to increase team productivity.
yes yes look Lord Vader, im using ChatGPT.
>everything's fine I just really wanted to spend some time with you to go over some ideas I had
suss af
MERCHANDISING
moichandising*
>Perhaps we should import immigrants Lord Vader?
>How do you respond without sounding mad?
brand people who are annoying u or plotting against u as slackers
Thank you, Lord Vader. We are ready to proceed as you command.
Ah yes the old pass the buck trick
Good answer
only correct answer, rest is mad as hell and will get wienered/electri-fried
Oh that’s fantastic Lord Vader, with your force abilities and exceptional strength you should be a huge asset to the construction crew. It’ll be such an inspiration to the others having you work alongside them and it will really emphasize how important of a project this is.
>flattery wont get you anywhere commander. the emperor is looking for results when he arrives here
Great, with your hands on assistance I’m sure we will make that ground up in no time. I’ve heard you fixed droids and pod racers as a kid so this should come naturally for you.
>then what do i need you for
You're a slimy little rat and I love it.
>I fricked Padme
>the emperor is most displeased with the lack of diversity on board, commander.
>We shall double our quotas
>My lord, we thought it would be better to have an all whit...
kek
they are clones. m'lord
>We stopped using clones after the Clone Wars you fool!
>They are all Chinese now. There is an endless supply and you can't tell them apart anyway
Microaggressions such as this are dangerous. If word of this gets out, it could generate sympathy for the minorities in the internet.
10 million maoris is diverse as heck
Just had Star Wars related video recommended on YouTube. What are the odds?
Probably one in billion. Woah
This board has at least 5 star wars threads at any hour of the day.
>Don't worry Lord Vader, we have adopted an agile development approach and hold daily Scrums. Productivity will certainly skyrocket.
>And where are the new recruits? Have they completed their onboardings?
>I find your lack of DEI training... disturbing
>your abundant In Progress Jira tickets have not escaped the Emperor's notice
>we have switched from jira to a physical board with sticky notes all along the central canyon
>Thank you, Lord Vader. Your management style is just what the Empire needs to bring the workforce back into the office and comply with the vaccine mandate.
>I am altering your gender, pray I do not alter it further
>so back to my original one?
>Don't make me "they/them" you.
>The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many genders that some consider to be unnatural
>Yes, Lord Vader. It's our privilege to work under an accomplished Sith of Colour such as yourself. The crew has prepared a Juneteenth celebration catered by Popeyes in your honour.
>How did you know I was-
>Well your voice sir, it's the deep baritone of a proud African American, there is no mistaking it.
>I... I don't have words, commander
>all my life, I have been cursed to be born in the wrong skin, and it was only thanks to my master that I finally got the push to make a change, only to have nobody else know.
>To see it recognized is a gift I can never repay
>goood.
>...
>...
>...
>Hey Darth can you come by late r? I'm a little busy over here, thanks
zoomers don't know about chad vader
Comfy.
>ok boomer
We shall recheck these doubles
>My pronouns are He/Him commander. Dont get it wrong again for your sake.
I channel my inner SCRUM master and just push it to the next PI
Somehow Palpatine Returned why Palpatine just dont use his Ships from Exegol to Destroy the Rebels
>Luke... I am your birthing person.
>You've failed, your highness
>I am male, like my father before me
>I'm afraid your father.... Is transexual.
>inb4 rainbow lightsabers
fricks sake dont give them ideas
>not that there's anything wrong with it.
Hey, Ani, if I was gonna break your balls, I'd tell you to go home and get your podracer.
This kid was great. They used to call him "Spin-Trick Anakin." I swear to the Emperor. He was terrific, he was the best. And he raced himself out of slavery, too. Salut, Ani!
underrated
>Once you start your transition, forever will it dominate your destiny
>dialaaaaaate!!!!!
>awful, am I? awful, how am I?
There's a theory that if Qui Gonn hadn't died and he had been anakin's master instead of obi wan that anakin wouldn't have turned to the dark side because Qui-Gonn didn't believe in the archaic things that were holding the jedi back like love being bad, taking prophecies too literally, being tools of the senate etc. People also think he would have sensed darth sidious before it was too late because he was more concerned with the present than trying to predict the future. What do we think lads?
Qui Gon would have saved both Anakin and Dooku, they would have kicked the shit out of the Jedi and Sith and founded a non moronic Force temple
Anakin needed a father, and Obiwan was more of a brother to him. Qui Gon would have been a better father figure
It would of definitely made it much harder for Sidious to turn Dooku and make the CIS a legitimate threat to the republic. Anakin would have had Qui Gonn as father figure who was alot less beholden to the Jedi Council than Obi-wan was.
Shut the frick up, you burned ass Gimp Lord
>dude, just transfer me, I did what I could here, but like, I think Im a good worker, right? Management is rough, so like, I don't vader, Im gonna put it to work somewhere else, Im using my time off starting tomorrow, it's stressful, so like, yea, fricking right on you're here, you'll nail this, me? Ha, yea man, Im not solid here.
Darth Black person
>has 3 months booked solid of meetings
Outsource to space India.
>Wait a minute
>I remember you
>You're...
>You're Anakin Skywalker, the famous podracer!
>I grew up on Tattooine
>My dad was a moisture farmer and he got the day off of work to take me into town to see you race when I was a kid
>We saw you win the Boonta Eve Classic!
>Oh man, you were the best
>That pod was a sweet little baby, what ever happened to it?
>I heard you built it yourself
>The Stack 6 compressor, the turbo coolant pump, that was the fastest pod ever built
>Man, I'm a huge fan, this is nuts
>All of my friends said a human could never win the Boonta Eve, but I told them all they were wrong
>I knew you would win though, I was like-
>I was like, your biggest fan, dude
>You were my dad's favorite
>Why did you ever quit racing pods, man?
>You could have gone pro and won the Malastare 500 if you wanted to
>But then you just sort of disappeared and never raced again...
>I think you're the best pod racer in the galaxy
>You...
>You were my hero...
>Stormtrooper, get a picture with me and Ani Skywalker, the best goddamn podracer in the outer rim
>Man, I can't believe I'm meeting Ani frickin' Skywalker
>My dad would never believe me
>I sure wish my old man was alive to see this...
>Moff Jerjerrod : I assure you, Lord Vader. My men are working as fast as they can.
>Darth Vader : Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.
In my idle daydreams I always imagined a comedy skit where instead of brutally force-choking the low productivity workers Vader instead has the work crews engage in a series of those oddly dispiriting and soul crushing corporate team building exercises.
Imagine Vader being partnered with Vader during a trustfall exercise.
>*heavy mechanical breathing* Just fall backwards and *more mechanical breathing* I will catch you.
It would be even worse if you were the one who had to catch Vader as he fell backwards. That armor he wears must weigh a ton and there's a good chance you wouldn't even be able to prevent him from hitting the ground even if you did catch him. You'd be up shit creek without a paddle then.
Vader : Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them. A pizza party maybe.
>death star crew parties the whole day/night whatever they have on the death star
>completely trash the place
>Vader gets a call that Palpie will soon be there
>the commander is already ready to take full responsibility so at leas this crew lives
>Vader is like "dont worry, I got this covered"
>Palpatines ship is suddenly stopped in a space road block
>the whole crew cleans up the death star and ewoks bring construction back to schedule
>The emperor wants his own personal pizza when he arrives. Do not fail me.
>The emperor arrives
>he looks around sceptical
>Emperor finds a plastic cup that and smells it
>"BEER, and some other things I dont want to think about"
>Commander gulps, Vader starts breathing heavily
>Palpatine: "And you called THAT a party?"
>Gonna make you sweat starts playing
>half naked twilek girls come out his ship with shirt bazookas
>Disco ball descendes from the ceiling
>credits play next to footage of everybody dancing
coomer
>Jerrod manages to sneakily get the stormtroopers to paint one of the hangars in the team building paintball match
Interesting word: dispiriting
thank you for teaching me something
>what's a sked ool?
>it's a Jerjerrod needs to figure out who spiked the watercooler episode
>In the end it was Palpatine.
>as the credits roll on the exhausted troopers satisfied they cleared up in time, Jerjerrod spots a glowstick in Palpatine's pocket as he walks out of his shuttle
>frame freezes and a bass riff starts playing
>"ah sorry, had to take a day off to have fun with the wife and kids. You know how it is yeah?"
T-thanks, you to
>How do you respond without sounding mad?
Im posting this interaction on r/antiwork
Wouldn't droids to all the jobs?
I've had enough Star Wars for a lifetime
>Disney, is coming here?